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Published at 7th of May 2020 10:36:51 PM


Chapter 27

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Translator: Blushy
Editor: delishnoodles

I pressed my lips together and looked at the floor. I couldn’t open my eyes which had been closed for a long time. 

I grabbed the armrest with my free hand and gripped it so hard that my fingers started to hurt.

“Why? Why would you go that far…?” Orpheus said that much, then shut his mouth and didn’t utter any more words. 

Clothes rustled, and the warmth went away, and a cold distance was created between us. 

When a part of our bodies was touching, I felt closer to him than anyone else, but now I feel like we’re far apart. 

“I’m… sorry.”

――― I am extremely selfish and a helpless fool who is beyond saving. 

Even if I know this, I can’t surrender myself to Orpheus. Even if he forgave me. 

I got a lot of people involved in my antics, caused trouble, and smeared the Rosenstein name. I can’t live carefreely by the side of my loved one without atoning or reflecting on my actions. 

I didn’t receive a reply to my endless apologies. 

The room was filled with tense silence, and only time flowed pointlessly. 

The only thing I could hear was the sound of my breath coming out from my mouth, and when I closed my eyes, it felt like I was squatting down alone in a dark room.

“Alright.” Orpheus said heavily and broke the silence.

“I will respect your decision. I want to take you home right now, but I made a promise with His Highness. I will respect your wishes and wait until you can give me your answer.”

I finally opened my eyes and released the hands which were blocking my lips. 

“I honestly don’t know if I can accept the answer you come up with.” 

Orpheus looked down. He leaned forward and stared blankly at the table with his hands on his knees. 

His side-profile looked tired, and it pierced my heart to see him looking like he could faint at any moment, so I reached out my hand. 

“I hope you won’t take too long.”

I stopped moving my hand at that instant, hesitated a little, then ended up putting it down. I almost touched his back, but I felt like I couldn’t even do that right now. 

“It’s like torture being away from you even though it’s so unbelievable that ――― our feelings are the same,” he said and sat up, so I quickly averted my gaze. 

I felt so guilty that my body was turning cold, and I didn’t have the confidence to look him straight in the eye. 

I looked out the window at the gradually darkening sky and took a deep breath. 

“Do you need anything?”

“Things… I need…”

Nothing, I nearly answered, but then remembered. Even if I were to let go of everything, I want to keep that ring with me. 

“The diamond ring. Please tell Claire to get me my most treasured ring.”

“… Anything else?”

“I don’t need anything else, but please…”

I knew that Juris wouldn’t forgive me for this selfish act, but I told Orpheus about Juris’s feelings. I told him that Juris loves Diana and that he wanted her to be happy more than anyone else. 

Those two were only missing each other because of their misunderstandings, and both actually loved one another. 

However, Juris refuses to confess to Diana because he felt guilty for using me and had persuaded her to leave the mansion. 

As a result, Diana, who felt just as guilty as Juris, was heartbroken and decided to leave the mansion and move to the residence in the fief. She won’t see Juris again and won’t return to the Rosenstein mansion on the outskirts of Nabel. 

“Juris loves Diana? He has never shown this in front of me or Diana and won’t answer me whenever I ask him what he thought of her.”

Orpheus frowned when he listened to all I had to say and sighed deeply. 

“He also misunderstood. He thought that Diana loves you and that she would be happy by your side.”

“We all misunderstood each other and hurt each other? It’s so pathetic, it isn’t even funny.”

Orpheus smiled wryly and brushed back the bangs on his white forehead. 

That’s right, I thought and looked down at the hands which were on my knees, then my lips moved. 

“I’m aware that no one should speak out about their relationship, but I can’t stand it when I think it’s my fault. Could you please persuade them somehow?”

“But Diana is a noble and Juris is a servant. There is a wall of status between them. That’s the main reason why Diana didn’t frankly speak about her feelings.”

Diana probably didn’t care about status. I can’t imagine that she would stick to something like that since she said that she would be happy just by being at his side. 

However, Orpheus looked complicated and said, “Even if Diana is fine with it, Juris isn’t.”

“That’s why I want you to convince them. And help if needed. They’re both your precious childhood friends, aren’t they?” I said clearly, and for some reason, he burst out into laughter.

“Wh-what is it?”

“No, I missed this. Your tone and expression right now are just the same as the you from that time. And that part of you that tries your best for others is the same as well. ――― Alright. I’ll try if that is what you wish. I also want those two to be happy.”

I had averted my gaze awkwardly since I had probably said something without knowing my status and was relieved when I heard him say that. I lowered my head and said, “Thank you.”

“Hmm, about Renee, she’s…”

“I heard from His Highness.”

Orpheus, who got up and was walking towards the door, stopped, turned around and said, “I don’t really care. Rather, I’m grateful that she found you.”

I, who had followed behind him to see him off, also stopped, and said, “Really?”

Apparently, Renee wasn’t rebuked for faking her identity to sneak into the Rosenstein mansion. If Orpheus had been angry, then I would have begged, “Please don’t blame her,” but I didn’t have to worry about that.

“Hmm, Orpheus…”

I looked up to say thank you.

Then, I was startled by the beautiful face that was right next to me. Something soft grazed against my lips.

“I’ll come again.”

The door closed and I was left alone in the parlour. My heart was pounding, and it was starting to hurt. 

――― Ah, why, why would you do that?

My body went limp when I noticed what had touched my lips, and I fell to the ground as if I was crumbling down.

 

 

The day after I talked to Orpheus, I moved away from the guest room in the main wing into the detached building.

I did nothing but contemplate.

How can I atone for my sins? I secluded myself in my room and did nothing but contemplate that. 

When I got tired from thinking, I read books and walked in the garden. 

Claude left the mansion since he was busy, so I talked to the maids who I have become close with. 

 

Three days after I moved, Claire came from the Rosenstein House.

“Madam!”

When I went to the main wing because Monica told me I had a guest, I saw Claire standing at the entranceway. 

Her face crumpled up as soon as she saw me, and tears flowed down her cheeks. She jumped like a puppy who had just found her mummy. 

“I’m so glad! I’m so glad you seem well!”

“Claire! What’s wrong?! Why are you here!?” 

When I patted her back to comfort her, Claire, who was clinging to my neck, sobbed.

“Master gave me permission! He gave me permission to come here and take care of you! Of course, that includes Claude-sama as well!”

“Does that mean you came here at your own will?”

“Yes! I heard that you had gone missing and that you were bedridden with a fever. I felt so anxious and uneasy even when I knew you were safe, and I couldn’t stand it…!”

The back of my chest gradually became warm. 

What a good girl she is! She’s worried about someone like me, and she came all the way from the Rosenstein mansion to take care of me. 

“But I’m glad! It looks like you’ve gotten a little skinner, but I’m really glad you’re well!”

“Yes. I’m fine now. I feel down, but my body’s fine.”

I softly separated myself from Claire and smiled to reassure her. I don’t know if I was able to smile properly but I thought it was better than being expressionless. 

Claire wiped her red eyes with her sleeves while muttering, “I’m really glad,” then she sniffed.

“Please, don’t ever do that again. If you have to do it again, then you must take me with you.”

Her tears which had dried up began flowing out again, and the tears ran down her freckles. 

I searched my pockets, pulled out a handkerchief and gave it to her.

“Please… don’t leave me… behind.”

“Claire…”

Claire covered her face with the handkerchief, and I patted her head like she was a little child, then I apologised, “I’m sorry.”

“I promise I’ll never do that again.”

“Madam!”

We hugged each other in the middle of the entrance way, but maybe because we had been hugging for so long, Monica, who was standing in the corner, spoke to us, “Ophelia-sama and Claire-san. The other servants can see you here, so why don’t you two talk in the room?”

Recalling Monica’s presence, I panicked and jumped away from Claire. My face went red and I answered in a small voice, “Okay.” I glanced at Claire and saw that her face had turned red too. 

We left the entrance, walked across the garden and back into my room. 

“Madam, please take this first. Master ordered me to bring it with me.”

As soon as she entered the room, Claire unpacked two items from her luggage. They were a small jewellery box and a box wrapped in stylish wrapping paper. 

“I brought you the ring you wanted. And this is perfume.”

“You brought me perfume as well?”

“Yes. Madam also treasures this, so I brought it with me just in case.”

This perfume was something I didn’t have the chance to give to Diana. 

I chose this with Orpheus on that day in Charmes Mondt, but since the event that happened after was too shocking, I didn’t have the chance to give it to her and still had it with me. 

I looked down at the two items with a complicated expression on my face after I’d received them, and Claire raised her eyebrow sadly. 

“You know, Madam… Master was surprised when he saw that your closet was almost empty. He was perplexed since you would go that far.”

He finally saw it? I smiled wryly while asking, “Did he say anything else?” Claire replied, “No, not really.” Orpheus probably guessed why I had done that. 

“What the heck happened?”

“You didn’t hear about it from Orpheus?”

“No. Master didn’t tell me anything. He won’t tell me anything even if I ask.”

I urged Claire to sit down since she was probably tired from the long carriage ride, and also sat down. I explained why I had run away from the Rosenstein mansion.

“No way…! I can’t believe that Diana-sama likes Juris-san and that Master knew of this…!” Claire turned pale and screamed when she learnt of the story. 

“Then, that rumour is a lie and we servants are terribly mistaken… Ah!” 

Claire fell off her chair. She put her hands on the floor and bowed so low that her forehead was rubbing the floor.

“I am so sorry! It’s… it’s my fault! It’s because I believed in that rumour! I didn’t check probably, so…! Ah, what should I do?! I am so sorry, Madam!”

“Claire!”

I quickly helped Claire up and said, “Calm down!” But she replied with an agitated expression on her face, “I can’t!”

“Because I also helped Madam and acted like that and destroyed the relationship between you two ―――.”

“It’s fine. It’s fine, Claire. I’ve talked to Orpheus-sama and we were able to resolve the misunderstandings. And, you’ve done nothing wrong. You helped because you thought it would be good for me, right?”

Claire only helped me. She just wanted to fulfil my wish. She didn’t do anything wrong.

“But!”

“It’s fine. I said it’s fine, so it’s fine.”

Claire looked down and seemed to be thinking, but she eventually stood up, slapped her skirt and returned to her chair.

“I’m sorry.”

“Don’t apologise.”

I passed her water to calm her down and patted her shoulder to comfort her. 

Claire received the glass and said, “Thank you very much.” She took several sips to drink all the water, then she stared at the empty cup and sighed. 

“Madam, what are you going to do from now on?”

At that time, I stood by the window, touched the curtain and looked at the garden where the sun was shining brightly. 

The trees were swaying in the wind. Water spouted up high from the fountain, scattered and the droplets fell and glistened in the sun. 

“I’m thinking about what I should do from now and what I have to do.”

“Will you come back to Master? Master loves you, doesn’t he? If you’ve solved the misunderstandings, then this time ―――.”

“I’m looking for a way to atone.”

“Atone?”

Claire widened her eyes.

“What are you atoning for?”

I told her. 

I hurt the person I love and got a lot of people involved for my own selfish purposes. I lowered my own reputation and dirtied the name of  the Rosenstein House.

I should think about how to atone for those actions rather than what I should do with my relationship with Orpheus. 

“I know it’s for my own self-satisfaction. But even so, I have to atone for my actions.”

“But, how would you…”

“I thought I would become a nun and spent the rest of my life praying to God. Or―――.”

“Y-you can’t! You definitely can’t do that!”

“Then, what should I do?” I asked back since I wanted an answer, and Claire stood up. She grasped her cup and moved her fingers. She stared at the woman standing by the window with a puzzled expression on her face.

“You should talk with the Master too…”

“I did. But he tried to forgive me too easily. I’ve also done a lot of terrible things to him too.”

“Madam…”

――― I know that I’m being so stubborn to the point of being uncute. 

We almost sighed at the same time. 

I leaned against the window frame and followed the water that was falling without sound from the fountain with my eyes. 

“I got permission from Orpheus and Claude, the owner of this mansion, so I’ll think about it until I find the answer.”

“Then, I will too,” Claire said with a thoughtful expression on her face.

“Let’s think together. I’ll be by your side and we’ll think about this together. What can you do to atone?”

――― Ah, she really is a good girl.

How reassuring is it just to have her by my side? I could play a hated person because of her support, and had she not been there, then I would have been broken hearted and frustrated long ago. I’m a weak person who always wavers. 

“Thanks,” I tried to express my gratitude when I heard a knock on the door.

“Who is it?”

When Claire opened the door, the maid, Susanna, was standing there.

“Pardon for interrupting.”

Susanna looked around the room and a smile appeared on her charming, round face. 

“Would you like to have tea? I also prepared Phelia-sama’s favourite lemon custard cake. There are a lot of cookies as well. The chef cooked a lot since he thought you would be happy.” 

She was the maid who ran to the front door in surprise when I was brought here. She has been taking care of me with Monica. 

She’s a gentle person, but she’s excellent at her job. She has a small and plump body and her actions are lively. 

Susanna pulled a tray full of food into the room and placed the tea utensils and baked goods on the table without waiting for my reply. 

“Ermm, that person over there is Claire-san? You’ll be staying here from today onwards? Oh my, you have beautiful red hair. And you’re also cute.”

“Ah, eh, hm, thank you very much! It’s nice to meet you!” Susanna, who liked to talk, moved her hands while moving her mouth just as much. 

Claire turned red at being complimented for her hair and her lips trembled, but she quickly returned to her sense and jumped up, “I’ll help!”

“Thanks. Then, could you cut the cake? Oh my, Phelia-sama, please sit down.”

Susanna playfully turned a blind eye to what had happened, and my stiff cheeks and lips loosened. Her smile looks like Diana’s and it made me feel nostalgic. 

“If you drink tea and eat sweets then you’ll calm down and feel better straight away.” She said as if she had been eavesdropping before, but that didn’t mean that she was. 

She guessed my mood from just a glance. Susanna could quickly tell whether I was happy or depressed even if I hid it with a smile. 

Incidentally, Claude is the same way. 

――― Do I need to take a break? 

I thought. Claire must be tired as well, so I’d like to let her rest. She also likes lemon custard cake. 

“Claire and Susanna, you both also sit down. It’s boring to drink tea alone, so please join me.” 

I forced the two to sit down and we drank hot tea together. I forgot reality for a moment. 

Claire and Susanna immediately hit it off and were happily talking. 





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