I know that we, females are complicated, but I never thought that males are actually more complicated. Especially that Jerk. Yes, it’s Nate. He’s so complicated.
In just one week, he kept on changing: sweet, cold, super sweet, absent-minded, then later he’ll fade already. Am I just clingy? He’s just so moody compared to a woman in her monthly period. And from the three weeks we’ve been together, I couldn’t stand still when he’s not at my side. This world can just make me cry. According to what I read in the internet, couples should date.
Eh, why are we not dating?
***
Perhaps he only sees you as a syota [1] .” Kuya [2] Eos said, laughing when I complained it to him.
I told my problem to him, because I was shy to ask Mama even if she knows Nate. I never thought that it was a wrong move to talk to Kuya [3] about this.
“Syota [4] ? What those it differ to a lover?”
“Sho-ta: Short Time [5] . Not for long relationship.” He stopped using the computer and faced me, “Maybe Nate is just playing with you. You still expect that a man would like you. You believed so easily. You’re even ugly.”
“Whatever you say, that’s why you’re not being noticed by Ate [6] – hmm–” I bite his hand that was covering my mouth. His hand was salty.
“Ouch! You shit!” He throws a pillow at me but I was able to dodge it.
“Tse, torpe [7] !” I grabbed the pillow and also throw it at him before I went out of his room, “Bye, Torpe!”
“You’re only a syota!”
***
Am I really just a syota of Nate?
“Common, please?”
I’m so disgusting, because I’m proposing for us to ‘eat’ outside. According to the Internet, that would be a date already. And this jerk still didn’t treat me. It’s unfair.
“I’m not available right now, sorry.” He kissed me in the forehead and took his bag, “I’m leaving, bye.”
The truth is that I’m shivering already from his cold attitude to me. We’re not even one month yet, he’s giving a cold attitude already? What is he, a refrigerator?
After how many days passed, Nate still didn’t change. He’s still in his changing personality. That saying is really true that, “the only permanent thing in this world is change.”
***
Expectations. Expectations can really kill someone that’s why I was in a bad mood when I was expecting our ‘monthsary’ and he didn’t do anything. Even just anything. There was really nothing. Bad trip [8].
“I’m leaving, ah? Bye.” He was about to kiss my forehead when I dodged, “Why? Ian–”
“I’m leaving.”
I walked outside. I was happy when he called me but when I went down and look behind me, there was no Nate. He didn’t follow.
Fine. Don’t.
I don’t know what I should feel anymore. If I should be mad because he didn’t do anything even just a greeting or I should be sad?
I was just thinking about my feelings when I heard a voice of a female at a classroom.
“–you got nothing like mine, I really really do like you.”
I was about to leave because I felt like it was a wrong timing when I got more curious at the name mentioned.
“Believe me, Art.”
Art? The Emotionless Guy?
I looked at the hallway that didn’t have much people. If I was to walk, I would pass the opened door and I would see who they are, right? Right.
I was walking and swiftly gazed inside the classroom. The man’s back was in my view and was closed to the corner, but it was obvious that he was Emotionless Guy because of his hair. He was the only one who was permitted to grow his hair a little. The girl, her brown hair has curly at the tip that’s why it was also familiar. I know it was Irene, who was famous in the seniors and for being courted.
But wait, Irene is confessing to Emotionless Guy? Why? And why is she the one confessing? And she was beautiful. And why am I here listening?
“What should I do?”
Shit, I’m so chismosa [9].
I leaned at the wall because I was so nervous. It’s my first time to hear Emotionless Guy’s voice. It was so deep, so cold.
“A –Hi –c-can you be my boyfriend?”
I was dumbfounded at what I heard. Is this real? Is this still reality? Why am I hearing this? And Ianne, why are you listening? Weren’t you in pain before because of Nate?
“Give it to me.”
Whoa, this time he said four words.
“The what?”
I heard something but it was only whispers. Se... it was starting with ‘S’ whatever he said. Se-s? Huh? I can’t properly hear! I went a little near the door so I can hear more when Emotionless Guy suddenly walks out of the classroom.
“Ay, fucking shit!” I was so over-super-duper-mega-hyper supermarket with so much surprise shocked.
When I was able to regain my poise, I gulp because Emotionless Guy was looking at me. I couldn’t avoid my gaze on him, like he was sucking my gaze.
It’s still so scary.
“I-I didn’t he–”
He didn’t let me finish as he walk far away. I stared at his back and realized I was holding my breath.
Weird... That guy is super weird.
***
I looked like in a blast when I got to school the next day; mentally unprepared and a little emotionally damaged. Nate was absent so I got more disappointed. We were being introduced to a student-teacher in Computer, he was Sir Michael Cruz but I didn’t care. Only Nate... ugh.
When it was dismissal, I noticed that the three eggs couldn’t stand still; they were Jek, Toto and Troy. I was about to go to the restroom when one of the eggs, Jek blocked me, “Where are you going?”
“Restroom?”
“Ah, okay. Come back quickly. Stay safe.”
I was still creep out as I nodded at him.
After I finish using the restroom, someone covered my eyes using a handkerchief and tied it tightly at my head.
And even hold my hand.
“W-who are you?”
Have I been kidnap? Am I going to die? As in right now? Inside the school, I’m going to be kidnap? But we’re not rich. Lord, what will happen to me?
“Walk.”
His voice was so deep. Who’s this?
But wait, he smell so good in fairness.
After how many minutes of walking, of dropping down the floor and thrusting myself at the floor, I was finally stopped walking. As of October 1, 2009 and exactly 4:26 PM, my body is still intact.
When the blindfold was removed, I first saw our classroom and Toto, who was smiling at me. And add there Jek and Troy who was smiling already.
“Just a moment...” [10]
I turned back to look whose voice is singing.
“Can you give me the chance?”
“There you go again, Nate. You already did this the last time, eh.” I said while grinning.
“I’m going to leave; may I please hold your hand?”
He kissed my hand. Shit, my hand would get germs! Joke.
“Hoping that your smiles will reach the sky; hoping to catch a glimpse of it. Happy pretend monthsary, Ianne.”
I laughed at the pretend monthsary.
“Let’s go, let’s date?”
Date... Our first ever date.
Those this mean, we’re not syota?
In your face, Kuya [11]!
We bid our goodbye to the three eggs. It was dark outside and I have no idea where we are going until he stopped the jeep at the side of a church.
“We’re attending a mass?” I wonder.
He holds me by my hand, interlocking our fingers. I was about to enter the church when he stopped me and then we went in front of the restrooms.
“What are we going to do here?”
Nate couldn’t stand still. There were a lot of people going in and out of the restrooms.
“Ianne...”
I wanted to laugh because he looked like he was stopping himself –laughing while crying.
“I may not want to let go of your hand but I want to pee so much. If I could just drag you inside, but perhaps you’ll see some things that shouldn’t be seen so just wait, ah.” And he hurriedly went inside the restroom. I even almost got in.
After how many seconds, Nate with all smiles caught my view. Looks like successful. He was about to hold my hand but I quickly dodge it.
“Did you wash it?”
He looked like realization hit him at my question then he frowned as he entered the restroom again, grumpily.
After how many seconds, he went out of the restroom. I was gonna dodge my hand but he was fast grasping it. I give him a bad look. Aba [12], he even sticks out his tongue.
“You think, ah. This hand is only mine.” Then he kissed my hand.
Wait, wait. Inhale. Just relax.
As we entered the church, it looked like Nate notice my curiosity why we were there.
“So we’ll get blessed by Him.”
I was dumbfounded at what Nate said but he looked really serious. I was nervous at what he said. I thought he would annoy me when the mass was starting but we didn’t talk or play. Actually, he ignored me. Is it true? Nate is worshipping? He’s this serious when attending the mass?
It’s so different.
But even during communion, he didn’t let go of my hand. The truth is our hands are sweating so much that I could wash my hand with it.
“Those high school students, this is a church and they’re flirting.” I heard a woman commented. I was about to let go of my grip when Nate grasps my hand more tightly.
“She’s just jealous, because no one is holding her hand.”
I smiled and hit him lightly in the arm.
He chuckled a little at what he said.
After the mass, I got curious as to why he still wasn’t leaving at where we were standing.
“Nate?”
He ignored me as he talks and went in front of the altar, “Thank you po [13] for giving Ianne to me.” He said and then he kissed my hand.
I was stunned. He’s thanking? To God? Because he got me?
Gosh.
“Ianne.”
He took something from his pocket and holds me by my hands. Perhaps my brain shut down when he put in my finger a silver ring that had a shining rock that has an infinity sign.
“F-for what is this?”
“Nothing, I’m just showing it. It’s so beautiful, right?”
I was about to hit him but suddenly my attention got caught at the ring that was still shinning. It’s simple but it was so beautiful.
“Just slowly stare it, perhaps it’ll melt.”
He put in my palm a much bigger ring that was the same from what I’m wearing. I smiled when I saw what was engraved inside the ring.
N < 3 I 4ever
“The forever is so jejemon [14].” I jokingly said.
“Put it in me.”
Wow. Kuya [15] is now even commanding. Even though I don’t want to, I put the ring in his finger.
“My love for you will only disappear if this ring is destroyed. I really love you, Ianne.”
I haven’t said anything when he suddenly hug me and whispered, “I only need the consent of the priest and our parents and you’ll be mine.”
“Nate...”
“I work hard for this.” He gently whispered.
I ceased my forehead at what he said.
“Pay me, ah.”
I escape his hug and frowned. He laughed as he messed my hair, “Just your love, I’m fine with it. But if you’ll add 100 pesos [16], it’s also fine for me.”
“Addict [17].” I said as I hit him, “You can really joke so much.”
“I’m not joking.”
“W-weh [18]?”
“That’s right. Pay me 100 pesos.” I was dumbfounded as he laughed. He kissed my forhead and smiled, “Kidding. I’m fine with only your love.”
[1] [4] Syota – referring to one’s lover (girlfriend or boyfriend).
[2] [3] [11] [15] Kuya – older brother.
[5] Syota pronounced like Shota. Sho = Short, Ta = Time (pronouncing i in the time is like a).
[6] Ate – older sister.
[7] Torpe – a person who doesn’t know how to approach the person they like.
[8] Trip – an activity that someone is engaged in; in this case, her current activity/mood is bad/sad –in other words she was sad.
[9] Chismosa – a female gossiper; they tend to listen to private conversation that they shouldn’t be listening.
[10] My own translation from the song: Torete by Moonstar88; lyrics goes:
Sandali na lang
Maari bang pagbigyan
Aalis na nga
Maaari bang hawakan ang iyong mga kamay
Sana ay maabot ng langit
Ang iyong mga ngiti
Sana ay masilip
[12] Aba – express admiration or surprise.
[13] Po – sign of politeness.
[14] Jejemon – a pop culture phenomenon in the Philippines; a person "who has subvert the English language to the point of incomprehensibility.” In short, they are those who shortcut English words with other things like 4 = for, 2 = to, and etc.
[16] Pesos – currency used in The Philippines; as of 2017, 100 Pesos is like 2 US Dollar, take note that each country has different value and although this may look nothing for you but for some this is a lot already.
[17] Addict – Crazy.
[18] Weh – A doubtful, surprise expression. Like, No way!/Really?!/Seriously?
I know that we, females are complicated, but I never thought that males are actually more complicated. Especially that Jerk. Yes, it’s Nate. He’s so complicated.
In just one week, he kept on changing: sweet, cold, super sweet, absent-minded, then later he’ll fade already. Am I just clingy? He’s just so moody compared to a woman in her monthly period. And from the three weeks we’ve been together, I couldn’t stand still when he’s not at my side. This world can just make me cry. According to what I read in the internet, couples should date.
Eh, why are we not dating?
***
Perhaps he only sees you as a syota [1] .” Kuya [2] Eos said, laughing when I complained it to him.
I told my problem to him, because I was shy to ask Mama even if she knows Nate. I never thought that it was a wrong move to talk to Kuya [3] about this.
“Syota [4] ? What those it differ to a lover?”
“Sho-ta: Short Time [5] . Not for long relationship.” He stopped using the computer and faced me, “Maybe Nate is just playing with you. You still expect that a man would like you. You believed so easily. You’re even ugly.”
“Whatever you say, that’s why you’re not being noticed by Ate [6] – hmm–” I bite his hand that was covering my mouth. His hand was salty.
“Ouch! You shit!” He throws a pillow at me but I was able to dodge it.
“Tse, torpe [7] !” I grabbed the pillow and also throw it at him before I went out of his room, “Bye, Torpe!”
“You’re only a syota!”
***
Am I really just a syota of Nate?
“Common, please?”
I’m so disgusting, because I’m proposing for us to ‘eat’ outside. According to the Internet, that would be a date already. And this jerk still didn’t treat me. It’s unfair.
“I’m not available right now, sorry.” He kissed me in the forehead and took his bag, “I’m leaving, bye.”
The truth is that I’m shivering already from his cold attitude to me. We’re not even one month yet, he’s giving a cold attitude already? What is he, a refrigerator?
After how many days passed, Nate still didn’t change. He’s still in his changing personality. That saying is really true that, “the only permanent thing in this world is change.”
***
Expectations. Expectations can really kill someone that’s why I was in a bad mood when I was expecting our ‘monthsary’ and he didn’t do anything. Even just anything. There was really nothing. Bad trip [8].
“I’m leaving, ah? Bye.” He was about to kiss my forehead when I dodged, “Why? Ian–”
“I’m leaving.”
I walked outside. I was happy when he called me but when I went down and look behind me, there was no Nate. He didn’t follow.
Fine. Don’t.
I don’t know what I should feel anymore. If I should be mad because he didn’t do anything even just a greeting or I should be sad?
I was just thinking about my feelings when I heard a voice of a female at a classroom.
“–you got nothing like mine, I really really do like you.”
I was about to leave because I felt like it was a wrong timing when I got more curious at the name mentioned.
“Believe me, Art.”
Art? The Emotionless Guy?
I looked at the hallway that didn’t have much people. If I was to walk, I would pass the opened door and I would see who they are, right? Right.
I was walking and swiftly gazed inside the classroom. The man’s back was in my view and was closed to the corner, but it was obvious that he was Emotionless Guy because of his hair. He was the only one who was permitted to grow his hair a little. The girl, her brown hair has curly at the tip that’s why it was also familiar. I know it was Irene, who was famous in the seniors and for being courted.
But wait, Irene is confessing to Emotionless Guy? Why? And why is she the one confessing? And she was beautiful. And why am I here listening?
“What should I do?”
Shit, I’m so chismosa [9].
I leaned at the wall because I was so nervous. It’s my first time to hear Emotionless Guy’s voice. It was so deep, so cold.
“A –Hi –c-can you be my boyfriend?”
I was dumbfounded at what I heard. Is this real? Is this still reality? Why am I hearing this? And Ianne, why are you listening? Weren’t you in pain before because of Nate?
“Give it to me.”
Whoa, this time he said four words.
“The what?”
I heard something but it was only whispers. Se... it was starting with ‘S’ whatever he said. Se-s? Huh? I can’t properly hear! I went a little near the door so I can hear more when Emotionless Guy suddenly walks out of the classroom.
“Ay, fucking shit!” I was so over-super-duper-mega-hyper supermarket with so much surprise shocked.
When I was able to regain my poise, I gulp because Emotionless Guy was looking at me. I couldn’t avoid my gaze on him, like he was sucking my gaze.
It’s still so scary.
“I-I didn’t he–”
He didn’t let me finish as he walk far away. I stared at his back and realized I was holding my breath.
Weird... That guy is super weird.
***
I looked like in a blast when I got to school the next day; mentally unprepared and a little emotionally damaged. Nate was absent so I got more disappointed. We were being introduced to a student-teacher in Computer, he was Sir Michael Cruz but I didn’t care. Only Nate... ugh.
When it was dismissal, I noticed that the three eggs couldn’t stand still; they were Jek, Toto and Troy. I was about to go to the restroom when one of the eggs, Jek blocked me, “Where are you going?”
“Restroom?”
“Ah, okay. Come back quickly. Stay safe.”
I was still creep out as I nodded at him.
After I finish using the restroom, someone covered my eyes using a handkerchief and tied it tightly at my head.
And even hold my hand.
“W-who are you?”
Have I been kidnap? Am I going to die? As in right now? Inside the school, I’m going to be kidnap? But we’re not rich. Lord, what will happen to me?
“Walk.”
His voice was so deep. Who’s this?
But wait, he smell so good in fairness.
After how many minutes of walking, of dropping down the floor and thrusting myself at the floor, I was finally stopped walking. As of October 1, 2009 and exactly 4:26 PM, my body is still intact.
When the blindfold was removed, I first saw our classroom and Toto, who was smiling at me. And add there Jek and Troy who was smiling already.
“Just a moment...” [10]
I turned back to look whose voice is singing.
“Can you give me the chance?”
“There you go again, Nate. You already did this the last time, eh.” I said while grinning.
“I’m going to leave; may I please hold your hand?”
He kissed my hand. Shit, my hand would get germs! Joke.
“Hoping that your smiles will reach the sky; hoping to catch a glimpse of it. Happy pretend monthsary, Ianne.”
I laughed at the pretend monthsary.
“Let’s go, let’s date?”
Date... Our first ever date.
Those this mean, we’re not syota?
In your face, Kuya [11]!
We bid our goodbye to the three eggs. It was dark outside and I have no idea where we are going until he stopped the jeep at the side of a church.
“We’re attending a mass?” I wonder.
He holds me by my hand, interlocking our fingers. I was about to enter the church when he stopped me and then we went in front of the restrooms.
“What are we going to do here?”
Nate couldn’t stand still. There were a lot of people going in and out of the restrooms.
“Ianne...”
I wanted to laugh because he looked like he was stopping himself –laughing while crying.
“I may not want to let go of your hand but I want to pee so much. If I could just drag you inside, but perhaps you’ll see some things that shouldn’t be seen so just wait, ah.” And he hurriedly went inside the restroom. I even almost got in.
After how many seconds, Nate with all smiles caught my view. Looks like successful. He was about to hold my hand but I quickly dodge it.
“Did you wash it?”
He looked like realization hit him at my question then he frowned as he entered the restroom again, grumpily.
After how many seconds, he went out of the restroom. I was gonna dodge my hand but he was fast grasping it. I give him a bad look. Aba [12], he even sticks out his tongue.
“You think, ah. This hand is only mine.” Then he kissed my hand.
Wait, wait. Inhale. Just relax.
As we entered the church, it looked like Nate notice my curiosity why we were there.
“So we’ll get blessed by Him.”
I was dumbfounded at what Nate said but he looked really serious. I was nervous at what he said. I thought he would annoy me when the mass was starting but we didn’t talk or play. Actually, he ignored me. Is it true? Nate is worshipping? He’s this serious when attending the mass?
It’s so different.
But even during communion, he didn’t let go of my hand. The truth is our hands are sweating so much that I could wash my hand with it.
“Those high school students, this is a church and they’re flirting.” I heard a woman commented. I was about to let go of my grip when Nate grasps my hand more tightly.
“She’s just jealous, because no one is holding her hand.”
I smiled and hit him lightly in the arm.
He chuckled a little at what he said.
After the mass, I got curious as to why he still wasn’t leaving at where we were standing.
“Nate?”
He ignored me as he talks and went in front of the altar, “Thank you po [13] for giving Ianne to me.” He said and then he kissed my hand.
I was stunned. He’s thanking? To God? Because he got me?
Gosh.
“Ianne.”
He took something from his pocket and holds me by my hands. Perhaps my brain shut down when he put in my finger a silver ring that had a shining rock that has an infinity sign.
“F-for what is this?”
“Nothing, I’m just showing it. It’s so beautiful, right?”
I was about to hit him but suddenly my attention got caught at the ring that was still shinning. It’s simple but it was so beautiful.
“Just slowly stare it, perhaps it’ll melt.”
He put in my palm a much bigger ring that was the same from what I’m wearing. I smiled when I saw what was engraved inside the ring.
N < 3 I 4ever
“The forever is so jejemon [14].” I jokingly said.
“Put it in me.”
Wow. Kuya [15] is now even commanding. Even though I don’t want to, I put the ring in his finger.
“My love for you will only disappear if this ring is destroyed. I really love you, Ianne.”
I haven’t said anything when he suddenly hug me and whispered, “I only need the consent of the priest and our parents and you’ll be mine.”
“Nate...”
“I work hard for this.” He gently whispered.
I ceased my forehead at what he said.
“Pay me, ah.”
I escape his hug and frowned. He laughed as he messed my hair, “Just your love, I’m fine with it. But if you’ll add 100 pesos [16], it’s also fine for me.”
“Addict [17].” I said as I hit him, “You can really joke so much.”
“I’m not joking.”
“W-weh [18]?”
“That’s right. Pay me 100 pesos.” I was dumbfounded as he laughed. He kissed my forhead and smiled, “Kidding. I’m fine with only your love.”
[1] [4] Syota – referring to one’s lover (girlfriend or boyfriend).
[2] [3] [11] [15] Kuya – older brother.
[5] Syota pronounced like Shota. Sho = Short, Ta = Time (pronouncing i in the time is like a).
[6] Ate – older sister.
[7] Torpe – a person who doesn’t know how to approach the person they like.
[8] Trip – an activity that someone is engaged in; in this case, her current activity/mood is bad/sad –in other words she was sad.
[9] Chismosa – a female gossiper; they tend to listen to private conversation that they shouldn’t be listening.
[10] My own translation from the song: Torete by Moonstar88; lyrics goes:
Sandali na lang
Maari bang pagbigyan
Aalis na nga
Maaari bang hawakan ang iyong mga kamay
Sana ay maabot ng langit
Ang iyong mga ngiti
Sana ay masilip
[12] Aba – express admiration or surprise.
[13] Po – sign of politeness.
[14] Jejemon – a pop culture phenomenon in the Philippines; a person "who has subvert the English language to the point of incomprehensibility.” In short, they are those who shortcut English words with other things like 4 = for, 2 = to, and etc.
[16] Pesos – currency used in The Philippines; as of 2017, 100 Pesos is like 2 US Dollar, take note that each country has different value and although this may look nothing for you but for some this is a lot already.
[17] Addict – Crazy.
[18] Weh – A doubtful, surprise expression. Like, No way!/Really?!/Seriously?
