Amaku Yasashii Sekai de Ikiru Ni Wa – chapter 12
“Hey, you awake? What is two plus two?”(Leopardo)
“………… Four.”(Jin)
“Ok, his head is ok….. Do you know why you are like this right now or why you here?”(Leopardo)
“…… I lost the match.”(Jin)
“Ok…… His memory is fine. Guys, help him up!”(Leopardo)
Leopardo, who has confirmed that Jin’s consciousness has returned, tells his men to help Jin get up. Jin, with the help of others, gets up and looks straight at me after saying thanks to the healing unit.
“Are you satisfied with my answer?”(Doyle)
Just as I ask that, Jin started to laugh.
“Yes, it was more than enough.”(Jin)
“Good, I am glad you are satisfied.”(Doyle)
I am still sitting down, since I was melting the ice on Jin’s shoulder.
Jin, who had gotten up, extends his hand to me to help me get up. I take it, and we both smile.
I see that Leopardo and his men are taking down what materials and what medicine was used, including the amounts of it.
“Master Doyle, I noticed during the fight that you were holding back quite a bit. I assumed that with all my experience and training, I would be equal to you, but I was not to be your opponent. I am truly sorry for doubting you in the beginning. I apologize with all my heart.”(Jin)
Even though I had just gotten up and am able to look him straight in the eye, Jin bows down before me.
It is exactly as he says. Those were not all my skills, and I had also trained in lighting magic for ten years. Even though I cannot be top class with it, I can still do the mid-level stuff with it. In our first exchange, had I imbued lighting and water magic to my sword, I would have won right then.
“Jin, please do not bo. I have done many things that have made you think differently.”(Doyle)
“No! There is no such thing like that. Master Doyle has always been completely honest with me! I have lost. There is no room for doubt. My spear did not even reach your feet.”(Jin)
“……No, you are wrong Jin. You are incredible with the spear. You are proficient in both fire and lighting magic, to a much higher degree than I am. My grandfather and father can only use one of those elements at a mastery level, and yet you are able to do both. As expected of the [Future Hero of the Spear] I thou-“(Doyle)
I won by huge margin, so by saying this, there is possibility of him thinking that I am making fun of him. This is not good result, my scenario here is to have him ask for a rematch in the future thus making everyone opinion of me higher.
I look at Jin more carefully and sure enough hearing my words his face was already kinda distorted. I do understand, hearing me a guy who completely won without breaking a sweat tell you that “as expected of the [future hero of the spear] is just appalling. I thought he may be stupid but Jin is purer hearted and straight forward than I thought.
“No, I lost completely. I do not fit that name anymore. Please take the name back and have a rematch with me using a spear.”(Jin)
Nope….. This guy is just an idiot.
I take back all the things from before; Jin is an idiot.
Jin saying to return the name [Future Hero of the Spear] is basically saying that he wants to fight me with a spear and have me show the people here that I am better with a spear. The seniors and teachers all admired Jin for saying this, and the gallery was in uproar from Jin proclaiming this kind of rematch.
There is one person who seems to understand the situation and is acting different.
Gray, who understands the me right now, is now holding his head because of what Jin said.
Gray…..
You know, in the past, it was me who was always doing that because of you, but now you have Jin to make you do that….
You have my condolences.
I turn away from looking at Gray and look back at Jin.
Jin’s eyes glow and are like those of a person who has finally found his hero and rival to challenge.
He looks like a complete dog, and again, I can see a tail and ears on him, swaying left and right.
I forgot one crucial thing about this guy; this guy loves to fight.
I am sure he is thinking this:
He is amazing!
He is so strong.
If he is this strong with a sword, then with a spear, he must be even more amazing!
I have to fight him with a spear!
I can hear the voice of Jin’s heart.
He is clearly excited, and his face is red.
I actually feel like giving a sigh because his eyes so full of expectation.
For Jin, the title [Hero of the Spear] means nothing.
He truly just thinks this: “ I want to be strong! I want fight stronger people!”
He is a pure boy. He has only one pure wish in that muscle brain of his.
It is because of this one wish that Jin has come all the way to this place.
I try to hide the envy and jealousy I feel towards him.
If I had this mindset, maybe I would have instantly changed my mind.
I would have thought, “If what that man said was true, I can become even stronger with a sword or bow.”
And then kept following that one path towards becoming the strongest.
Becoming stronger…….
What a happy-go-lucky guy Jin is. He can only think of one point at a time. I can never do that. I worked hard, suffered, went through pain after pain until I finally found my path.
Jin is a person who can never understand what kind of trouble I have suffered in my life.
I know this for sure.
I thought that, right now, I hate Jin.
He has everything. I begged, pleaded, chased, and sought in my life……. I hate Jin enough to kill him.
“I refuse.” (Doyle)
“Let us fight!”(Jin)
“No, that will never happen.”(Doyle)
“Why? Is it because I am too weak? Then please wait, I definitely will get stronger, and then, please let us have rematch-“(Jin)
“Shut up!!!!”(Doyle)
Jin is surprised at me yelling at him.
He is not the only one surprised at me for doing this. Leopardo and the teacher are also surprised at this.
Of course, Gray, Jin’s father, and my grandfather too.
Oh god, how did it become like this? My coming out was supposed to be more peaceful.
I think this in the back of my head, but I cannot keep my words down.
“Shut up, it has nothing to do with whether you are weak or strong. I will never fight you with a spear!”(Doyle)
“Master Doyle.”(Jin)
“I have no aptitude! I have absolutely no aptitude with spear or staff techniques!”(Doyle)
I raise my voice even further. Jin, who is looking at me, is stunned and does not move.
I grab Jin’s chest and continue,
“Do you have any idea of how I felt when I learned that? My father and Grandfather are both [Heroes of the Spear], but my aptitude for my Spear and Staff techniques are non-existent! It is not like I am not suited it for or have low skill…… I have none! Nothing at all! I have trained for ten years! Ten years! Even if I keep swinging for another ten years, I will still get nowhere. How can you, who has been given everything with the spear, ever understand my feelings or have the right to talk to me like that?!”(Doyle)
Jin does not resist me.
I grip harder on his collar. He is still stunned by me.
“It is not just spears and staves. I have a low aptitude in fire and lightning magic! It is low! No matter how much I practice, I will be only at the lower middle! I have nothing in healing or spirit magic either!”(Doyle)
I push Jin away and he falls on the ground.
I hear him hit the ground hard…. but did not care right now.
Even though he was just thrown away, he does not utter a single word…. just keeps looking at me, stunned.
“……I have everything else though. I can get every single skill in everything else. Swords, rapiers, bows, water, ice, and wind magic. I actually already have almost every single skill in those sections. Everything else but the things I wanted the most, I could spend my entire life swinging a spear but never get to the position of [Hero of the Spear] no matter what. I did not want to accept this fact, so I ran away from this reality and went astray for five years. I knew this was wrong, but I did not want to admit it!”(Doyle)
I feel tears rolling down my face.
It was not supposed to be like this; I try to wipe the tears with my sleeves.
I do not want the crowd to see me like this.
But I guess it is too late.
This is no plan or any shit like that.
This is just a child’s wild tantrum.
This is all because of this stupid battle maniac.
“……….Still, sooner or later, I have to accept my reality – not for me but for those who followed me and trusted me, for my loving parents who tried their very best to protect this stupid son who became a nuisance. For the one who is still waiting for me and loves me regardless of reason. I have to accept my reality not for my sake but for theirs! So no matter how much you ask or beg, I will not fight you with a spear Jin….. I cannot go back to that me. So I am sorry, but I will also not be competing for the title [Future Hero of the Spear]. I will never succeed that title.”(Doyle)
I stop right then.
The entire stadium is quiet, not a single sound.
OK, this was overkill.
I said everything in my heart and took it out on Jin. After that, my head went from hot to cold really quickly.
I observe my surroundings during this time.
OK, clearly this was not my planned scenario and it became a bit too shocking. I can only smile bitterly.
I do not make a single movement….
In reality, I just want to make a hole with magic and go inside really quickly.
To make such a tantrum in front of such a large stadium audience…..
I really want go hide in a hole.
I guess no matter how much I remember my past life experience and grow up in spirit…. in the end, I am still a kid inside.
But I will not run away from this situation after creating it.
I promised myself that I would atone for all my mistakes, including this one I made.
“I am sorry for throwing you. Are you ok?”(Doyle)
I have to fix this situation somehow, so let’s start from the closet person. I extend my hand to Jin and ask if he is ok. Even if he has healed because of the medicine, it is inhuman to throw a person who was seriously injured a few seconds ago just… I have to reflect on this.
“Doyle, I am…..”(Jin)
“I am sorry Jin, but it is just, you have everything I have ever wanted.”(Doyle)
“I have, this one…. I am”(jin)
“You okay?”(Doyle)
Maybe it is because of my tantrum that he is still stunned. I retract my extended hand from Jin and squat down to the same level as him. Jin is still unable to speak because of the surprise, so I try my best to give him the same smile that my mother always gives when I am frightened. It is at this moment that Jin’s eyes start to form tears and he finally begins to speak.
Hey wait……
Why are you crying?
“I….. me……. sorry…. oooooooo”(Jin)
Crying, why?
Jin, for some reason, started crying. He is also completely in tears. I am in a complete state of panic; I have no idea what to do. I had imagined a lot of scenarios that could happen, but him crying was not one of them.
“Ah, Jin, calm down, calm down…. take deep breaths, deep breaths, Jin! I don’t know why you are crying. It was my fault for taking it out on you. I am in the wrong!”(Doyle)
“No, I did not know of your pain, of your suffering, and was being so insensitive. I am sorry Master Doyle.”(Jin)
“No, really, I am at fault here! Here is a cloth: wipe your tears with this.”(Doyle)
Jin, how old are you… stop, please.
I want to say all these lines, but I stop myself this time. I take out a towel from my subspace storage and give it to Jin to wipe his tears.
“There was so much going on, but I was just… wahhhhhhhhhh…… ahhhhhhhhh”(Jin)
Why are crying even more?!
Please stop……
Okay, how did my mother stop me when I was crying?
Please, someone help me!
I could not for the life of me stop Jin from crying. I completely give up on trying on my own and try to signal the people around us to help me.
However
“Aghinis, it must have been painful, enduring all that! You are a true man!” (Leopardo)
“Aghinis, your teacher will always be your friend…. I will always be on your side!”(Teacher)
“Wahhhh!”(Jin)
Leopardo places his hand on my shoulder.
The teacher on the field wipes his tears with his sleeve and holds his fist to his chest, made a weird declaration.
The other seniors in the healing unit were crying while biting their handkerchiefs.
Nope, not these guys. These guys are useless.
I know I did not cry like Jin, so I am really not the one needing to be consoled here. This guy in front of me needs to be consoled. Neither the teachers nor the other seniors are paying attention to my signals and just kept saying stuff.
I really need help stopping him from crying, but the people here cannot do it. I have to look for others.
I look around, and then I remember a clear individual who can definitely help.
Gray, come here buddy. I need you to stop your dog from crying.
“Huh?”(Doyle)
Gray?
Where are you Gray? I do not see my best buddy in the stands.
I am really close to the state of complete despair at this moment.
No matter how much I look through the gallery, I did not find gray.
“Ah…. Sniff…. Master Doyle… Behind you”(Jin)
While I am still looking for Gray, Jin mutters something and I reflexively look behind me.
A black shadow is over my head.
Then
Bam!
I feel a really dull pain in my head…. I lose consciousness almost immediately.
It is just before I lose consciousness that I see Gray, who was also crying and biting his lips. He was holding his favorite mace with him, though.
Amaku Yasashii Sekai de Ikiru Ni Wa – chapter 12
“Hey, you awake? What is two plus two?”(Leopardo)
“………… Four.”(Jin)
“Ok, his head is ok….. Do you know why you are like this right now or why you here?”(Leopardo)
“…… I lost the match.”(Jin)
“Ok…… His memory is fine. Guys, help him up!”(Leopardo)
Leopardo, who has confirmed that Jin’s consciousness has returned, tells his men to help Jin get up. Jin, with the help of others, gets up and looks straight at me after saying thanks to the healing unit.
“Are you satisfied with my answer?”(Doyle)
Just as I ask that, Jin started to laugh.
“Yes, it was more than enough.”(Jin)
“Good, I am glad you are satisfied.”(Doyle)
I am still sitting down, since I was melting the ice on Jin’s shoulder.
Jin, who had gotten up, extends his hand to me to help me get up. I take it, and we both smile.
I see that Leopardo and his men are taking down what materials and what medicine was used, including the amounts of it.
“Master Doyle, I noticed during the fight that you were holding back quite a bit. I assumed that with all my experience and training, I would be equal to you, but I was not to be your opponent. I am truly sorry for doubting you in the beginning. I apologize with all my heart.”(Jin)
Even though I had just gotten up and am able to look him straight in the eye, Jin bows down before me.
It is exactly as he says. Those were not all my skills, and I had also trained in lighting magic for ten years. Even though I cannot be top class with it, I can still do the mid-level stuff with it. In our first exchange, had I imbued lighting and water magic to my sword, I would have won right then.
“Jin, please do not bo. I have done many things that have made you think differently.”(Doyle)
“No! There is no such thing like that. Master Doyle has always been completely honest with me! I have lost. There is no room for doubt. My spear did not even reach your feet.”(Jin)
“……No, you are wrong Jin. You are incredible with the spear. You are proficient in both fire and lighting magic, to a much higher degree than I am. My grandfather and father can only use one of those elements at a mastery level, and yet you are able to do both. As expected of the [Future Hero of the Spear] I thou-“(Doyle)
I won by huge margin, so by saying this, there is possibility of him thinking that I am making fun of him. This is not good result, my scenario here is to have him ask for a rematch in the future thus making everyone opinion of me higher.
I look at Jin more carefully and sure enough hearing my words his face was already kinda distorted. I do understand, hearing me a guy who completely won without breaking a sweat tell you that “as expected of the [future hero of the spear] is just appalling. I thought he may be stupid but Jin is purer hearted and straight forward than I thought.
“No, I lost completely. I do not fit that name anymore. Please take the name back and have a rematch with me using a spear.”(Jin)
Nope….. This guy is just an idiot.
I take back all the things from before; Jin is an idiot.
Jin saying to return the name [Future Hero of the Spear] is basically saying that he wants to fight me with a spear and have me show the people here that I am better with a spear. The seniors and teachers all admired Jin for saying this, and the gallery was in uproar from Jin proclaiming this kind of rematch.
There is one person who seems to understand the situation and is acting different.
Gray, who understands the me right now, is now holding his head because of what Jin said.
Gray…..
You know, in the past, it was me who was always doing that because of you, but now you have Jin to make you do that….
You have my condolences.
I turn away from looking at Gray and look back at Jin.
Jin’s eyes glow and are like those of a person who has finally found his hero and rival to challenge.
He looks like a complete dog, and again, I can see a tail and ears on him, swaying left and right.
I forgot one crucial thing about this guy; this guy loves to fight.
I am sure he is thinking this:
He is amazing!
He is so strong.
If he is this strong with a sword, then with a spear, he must be even more amazing!
I have to fight him with a spear!
I can hear the voice of Jin’s heart.
He is clearly excited, and his face is red.
I actually feel like giving a sigh because his eyes so full of expectation.
For Jin, the title [Hero of the Spear] means nothing.
He truly just thinks this: “ I want to be strong! I want fight stronger people!”
He is a pure boy. He has only one pure wish in that muscle brain of his.
It is because of this one wish that Jin has come all the way to this place.
I try to hide the envy and jealousy I feel towards him.
If I had this mindset, maybe I would have instantly changed my mind.
I would have thought, “If what that man said was true, I can become even stronger with a sword or bow.”
And then kept following that one path towards becoming the strongest.
Becoming stronger…….
What a happy-go-lucky guy Jin is. He can only think of one point at a time. I can never do that. I worked hard, suffered, went through pain after pain until I finally found my path.
Jin is a person who can never understand what kind of trouble I have suffered in my life.
I know this for sure.
I thought that, right now, I hate Jin.
He has everything. I begged, pleaded, chased, and sought in my life……. I hate Jin enough to kill him.
“I refuse.” (Doyle)
“Let us fight!”(Jin)
“No, that will never happen.”(Doyle)
“Why? Is it because I am too weak? Then please wait, I definitely will get stronger, and then, please let us have rematch-“(Jin)
“Shut up!!!!”(Doyle)
Jin is surprised at me yelling at him.
He is not the only one surprised at me for doing this. Leopardo and the teacher are also surprised at this.
Of course, Gray, Jin’s father, and my grandfather too.
Oh god, how did it become like this? My coming out was supposed to be more peaceful.
I think this in the back of my head, but I cannot keep my words down.
“Shut up, it has nothing to do with whether you are weak or strong. I will never fight you with a spear!”(Doyle)
“Master Doyle.”(Jin)
“I have no aptitude! I have absolutely no aptitude with spear or staff techniques!”(Doyle)
I raise my voice even further. Jin, who is looking at me, is stunned and does not move.
I grab Jin’s chest and continue,
“Do you have any idea of how I felt when I learned that? My father and Grandfather are both [Heroes of the Spear], but my aptitude for my Spear and Staff techniques are non-existent! It is not like I am not suited it for or have low skill…… I have none! Nothing at all! I have trained for ten years! Ten years! Even if I keep swinging for another ten years, I will still get nowhere. How can you, who has been given everything with the spear, ever understand my feelings or have the right to talk to me like that?!”(Doyle)
Jin does not resist me.
I grip harder on his collar. He is still stunned by me.
“It is not just spears and staves. I have a low aptitude in fire and lightning magic! It is low! No matter how much I practice, I will be only at the lower middle! I have nothing in healing or spirit magic either!”(Doyle)
I push Jin away and he falls on the ground.
I hear him hit the ground hard…. but did not care right now.
Even though he was just thrown away, he does not utter a single word…. just keeps looking at me, stunned.
“……I have everything else though. I can get every single skill in everything else. Swords, rapiers, bows, water, ice, and wind magic. I actually already have almost every single skill in those sections. Everything else but the things I wanted the most, I could spend my entire life swinging a spear but never get to the position of [Hero of the Spear] no matter what. I did not want to accept this fact, so I ran away from this reality and went astray for five years. I knew this was wrong, but I did not want to admit it!”(Doyle)
I feel tears rolling down my face.
It was not supposed to be like this; I try to wipe the tears with my sleeves.
I do not want the crowd to see me like this.
But I guess it is too late.
This is no plan or any shit like that.
This is just a child’s wild tantrum.
This is all because of this stupid battle maniac.
“……….Still, sooner or later, I have to accept my reality – not for me but for those who followed me and trusted me, for my loving parents who tried their very best to protect this stupid son who became a nuisance. For the one who is still waiting for me and loves me regardless of reason. I have to accept my reality not for my sake but for theirs! So no matter how much you ask or beg, I will not fight you with a spear Jin….. I cannot go back to that me. So I am sorry, but I will also not be competing for the title [Future Hero of the Spear]. I will never succeed that title.”(Doyle)
I stop right then.
The entire stadium is quiet, not a single sound.
OK, this was overkill.
I said everything in my heart and took it out on Jin. After that, my head went from hot to cold really quickly.
I observe my surroundings during this time.
OK, clearly this was not my planned scenario and it became a bit too shocking. I can only smile bitterly.
I do not make a single movement….
In reality, I just want to make a hole with magic and go inside really quickly.
To make such a tantrum in front of such a large stadium audience…..
I really want go hide in a hole.
I guess no matter how much I remember my past life experience and grow up in spirit…. in the end, I am still a kid inside.
But I will not run away from this situation after creating it.
I promised myself that I would atone for all my mistakes, including this one I made.
“I am sorry for throwing you. Are you ok?”(Doyle)
I have to fix this situation somehow, so let’s start from the closet person. I extend my hand to Jin and ask if he is ok. Even if he has healed because of the medicine, it is inhuman to throw a person who was seriously injured a few seconds ago just… I have to reflect on this.
“Doyle, I am…..”(Jin)
“I am sorry Jin, but it is just, you have everything I have ever wanted.”(Doyle)
“I have, this one…. I am”(jin)
“You okay?”(Doyle)
Maybe it is because of my tantrum that he is still stunned. I retract my extended hand from Jin and squat down to the same level as him. Jin is still unable to speak because of the surprise, so I try my best to give him the same smile that my mother always gives when I am frightened. It is at this moment that Jin’s eyes start to form tears and he finally begins to speak.
Hey wait……
Why are you crying?
“I….. me……. sorry…. oooooooo”(Jin)
Crying, why?
Jin, for some reason, started crying. He is also completely in tears. I am in a complete state of panic; I have no idea what to do. I had imagined a lot of scenarios that could happen, but him crying was not one of them.
“Ah, Jin, calm down, calm down…. take deep breaths, deep breaths, Jin! I don’t know why you are crying. It was my fault for taking it out on you. I am in the wrong!”(Doyle)
“No, I did not know of your pain, of your suffering, and was being so insensitive. I am sorry Master Doyle.”(Jin)
“No, really, I am at fault here! Here is a cloth: wipe your tears with this.”(Doyle)
Jin, how old are you… stop, please.
I want to say all these lines, but I stop myself this time. I take out a towel from my subspace storage and give it to Jin to wipe his tears.
“There was so much going on, but I was just… wahhhhhhhhhh…… ahhhhhhhhh”(Jin)
Why are crying even more?!
Please stop……
Okay, how did my mother stop me when I was crying?
Please, someone help me!
I could not for the life of me stop Jin from crying. I completely give up on trying on my own and try to signal the people around us to help me.
However
“Aghinis, it must have been painful, enduring all that! You are a true man!” (Leopardo)
“Aghinis, your teacher will always be your friend…. I will always be on your side!”(Teacher)
“Wahhhh!”(Jin)
Leopardo places his hand on my shoulder.
The teacher on the field wipes his tears with his sleeve and holds his fist to his chest, made a weird declaration.
The other seniors in the healing unit were crying while biting their handkerchiefs.
Nope, not these guys. These guys are useless.
I know I did not cry like Jin, so I am really not the one needing to be consoled here. This guy in front of me needs to be consoled. Neither the teachers nor the other seniors are paying attention to my signals and just kept saying stuff.
I really need help stopping him from crying, but the people here cannot do it. I have to look for others.
I look around, and then I remember a clear individual who can definitely help.
Gray, come here buddy. I need you to stop your dog from crying.
“Huh?”(Doyle)
Gray?
Where are you Gray? I do not see my best buddy in the stands.
I am really close to the state of complete despair at this moment.
No matter how much I look through the gallery, I did not find gray.
“Ah…. Sniff…. Master Doyle… Behind you”(Jin)
While I am still looking for Gray, Jin mutters something and I reflexively look behind me.
A black shadow is over my head.
Then
Bam!
I feel a really dull pain in my head…. I lose consciousness almost immediately.
It is just before I lose consciousness that I see Gray, who was also crying and biting his lips. He was holding his favorite mace with him, though.
