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Published at 1st of April 2017 03:15:32 PM


Chapter 32

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Amaku Yasashii Sekai de Ikiru Ni Wa – 32

——Childhood——–

“I will not lose next time, Doyle!”(Child Gray)

“I think the result next time will be same though?”(Child Doyle)

“I promise to bury my mace into your brain next time!”(Child Gray)

“Good luck with that, Gray”(Child Doyle)

“Just you wait and see, Dooooyle!”(Child Gray)

“Look, your carriage is here to pick you up Gray.”(Child Doyle)

“I know!”(Child Gray)

I wiped the dirt from my spear, and Gray wiped the dirt from his body. We both put our weapons in the subspace storage.

I was talking with Claire like I did every day when she came to see me, and Gray joined us after just finishing his lessons. It was at that time I handed Claire to Gray since she had to go home. It was at that time that Gray launched a sneak attack with his Mace

This was something he had done so many times that I thought he would have gotten tired of it already. I dodged the first blow and brought out my spear from the subspace storage. He started to swing his mace, and I saw Claire just quietly backing away like she was used to this scene already. I couldn’t attack him directly since it may have hurt him so I blocked and dodged. His attacks were truly powerful, but they were very slow compared to my father and grandfather. They looked almost like still pictures. I still had not obtained a skill with the spear yet, but I had obtained movement skills which allowed me to dodge it easily.

“Your Highness, Princess, it is time for your etiquette lesson. Please return to the castle.”(Servant)

“I am sorry to keep you waiting, let’s go”(Gray)

“Yes. Master Doyle, I bid you a good day.”(Servant)

Gray apologized to the maid with a gentle smile that made him look like he was a different person compared to just 5 seconds ago. Do not believe him, Maid-person, he is deceiving you, he has a maniacal face when he is swinging his mace down.

His attitude towards everyone other than me was so different. I saw off Gray and headed to my father who was training the guards at the moment.

“Father”(Doyle)

“Doyle! You come here a lot, do you want to join us in training?’(Alan)

“No thank you father, I am tired from playing with Gray.”(Doyle)

“Did you make His Highness angry again?’(Alan)

“Gray is always angry. He always quickly draws his mace at me.”(Doyle)

“Hahahaha! His Highness is still energetic as always!”(Alan)

After seeing Gray and Claire off, I called out to Father who was training the guards. Although he had invited me to train with them, I refused politely since I just had my game of tag with Gray.

“Gray acts too differently when he is with me as opposed to when he is in front of others. He smiles gently when he is with others and swings his mace maniacally when he is with me.”(Doyle)

“. . . Do you want him to be nice to you?”(Alan)

At my dissatisfaction of Gray’s attitude changes, my father asked me question. I thought about this question.

Did I want Gray to be nice to me?
. . . Yuck! 
Just imagining that made me want to vomit.
It just made me feel weird and my skin crawl .

I did not want to imagine Gray like that. It was a very unpleasant image. I was dissatisfied at his change of attitude, but I did not think that I was dissatisfied with his attitude towards me. I felt that if Gray started to act nice towards me, that would not be the Gray who was my friend anymore. My friend Gray was someone who became angry easily, swung his mace manically, acted before speaking, and loved Claire with all his heart. I conveyed my honest thoughts to Father.

“. . . I felt a weird disgust when imagining that. I feel that is not my friend Gray.”(Doyle)

“Hahaha! That is true, that would not be the prince you know! You really are a bright kid, Doyle.”(Alan)

My father said that happily and patted my head.

“Doyle, do you know what is the most important trait for a person who must stand next to the king?”(Alan)

I was confused for a second and then pondered heavily in regards to my father’s question.

What is the most important trait for a person who must stand next to the king?

I looked at the guards who had really robust bodies and were able to swing those heavy looking weapons with ease, and I answered with strength.

“Strength?”(Doyle)

“Wrong.”(Alan)

“Then to be handsome?”(Doyle)

“Wrong.”(Alan)

I pondered again before answering and came back to him the next day.

“Intelligence?”(Doyle)

 

“Bzzt. Wrong”(Alan)

I took a little bit longer and pondered again. I thought for two whole days and could not think of anything besides loyalty.

“Loyalty?”(Doyle)

“Still wrong”(Alan)

I thought seriously and tried to ask other people as well, but everyone gave the same answers as me. My grandfather would not tell me as well. I gave him many other answers, but they were still wrong. I went back four days later to my father.

“To have lots of subordinates!”(Doyle)

“No, still incorrect, my son.”(Alan)

“. . . Honesty.”(Doyle)

“Nope.”(Alan)

“What is it then?”(Doyle)

I thought for a long time and tried my best, but I still could not think of the answer.

What is the important trait I need to have to stand next to the king? Standing next to king would mean standing next to Gray like my father and becoming his aide. 
An aide is someone who helps him and keeps him safe.
However, all the answers I have given are wrong, and they are all the things my father possess. So what is the answer?

I told him I gave up and asked my father what the correct answer was.

“I do not know! Father, what is the correct answer!?”(Doyle)

“The correct answer is . . .”(Alan)

“The correct answer is . . .”(Doyle)

“Do not rely on the king.”(Alan)

“Ha?”(Doyle)

“Hahahahaha!”(Alan)

I did not understand the meaning behind my father words, and I looked up at my father with a very peculiar face when he told me the answer, or so he told me.  That is why he started to laugh so much. The guards he was training that day started to look this way because of his sudden burst of laughter.

“Father, please!”(Doyle)

“Hahahahahaha! Your face right now was amazing, I have to tell Serena! It was so cute!”(Alan)

“Father! Other people are staring this way!”(Doyle)

The stares we were receiving because of Father’s laughter caused me to panic, and I tried to quiet him back down. He did not listen to me and put me on top of his shoulders. Even though I like being this high, Father please put me down!

“Father, please put me down!”(Doyle)

“Hahaha, you’re embarrassed aren’t you?”(Alan)

“I am not embarrassed Father!”(Doyle)

“Liar, I see your face becoming red, hahahaha!”(Alan)

“Father!”(Doyle)

I almost shouted in this place. That is not a good thing.

“Hahahaha, I am sorry, Doyle. Please do not hate me”(Alan)

My father said this with a fake sad face like he always did. He then put me down and started to stroke my hair.

I always felt happy when he did this to me. I would forget everything and just stay like this.

 

——–Present———

I reminisce of the past a bit. I remember even the little bits of my father teasing me. In those days, I always had Claire and Gray beside me and had fun with my father at his workplace. I think those were some of the happiest moments in my life, and now, I will work to get those moments back. I think at that time I still had no idea about my aptitude and was just impatient about not getting any spear skills yet. I thought eventually I would get them, and continued training with that thought. I think at that time, Claire visited me every single day. I wonder why that changed and why did I not notice it faster.

I look at Jin who is now trying to swallow my words and come up with a reason as to why I said that. I told my father something along these lines at the time.

“But I have never relied on the king. I do not understand what you are saying Father. The aides are there to protect and help the king.”(Doyle)

The reply my father gave to me is the same reply I am going to give Jin now.

“It is the duty of the master to take responsibility for his or her subordinates’ mistakes. Aides are the subordinates of the king. Thus, the king must take responsibility for any mistakes the aides make. If you let the king do as you please, then it will be very hard to protect them. The aides are there to protect the king, and the king is there to protect the people. Thus, do the aides count as people for the king to protect?”(Doyle)

 

Jin is quietly listening to my words. I do not know what response he will give to me after he finishes hearing this, but I have no doubt he will pick the same answer as me.

“To stand next to the king means to forgo the protection of the king, both physically and spiritually. If you are like the guards who just serve the king, you will be considered as one of the king’s people. To be someone who stands next to the king is to never rely on him, no matter how hard, tough, or painful it may get. The moment you depend on the king is the moment you switch from an aide to one of his people. Someone who must protect the king cannot be someone who is protected by the king . . . In the past, my father told me this and asked me one more question. Which side do you want to be on?”(Doyle)

I breathe after saying that. 
I remember that my father who asked me this was beside the king and not one of his people.

“Does Jin choose to protect or be protected?”(Doyle)

I ask Jin the same question again.

—–Childhood——

“Which side does Doyle prefer to be on?”(Alan)

“I will be next to him! I can’t imagine such an angry person protecting me!”(Doyle)

“Hahahahaha! Of course, you would be worried!”(Alan)

“Yes! I am also stronger than Gray, so I have to protect him!”(Doyle)

“Exactly! Doyle will be someone who can protect him!”(Alan)

“Yes!”(Doyle)

——Present———–

I answered this way to my father that day, but I answered that way because I could not imagine someone weaker than me protecting me at the time. But as the years passed, I learned the true meaning of my father words.

Gray is the First Prince. 
You will be accused of getting help from the king if Gray helps you, and Gray will be accused of abusing his power.
If Gray does not like you, you will be an outcast from the nobles’ circle and all parts of this country.

This is why he tries to be gentle and kind. This is also why he did not refute Lute on the spot or deny him. 
He must keep all those negative feelings inside him and is forced to endure such a path. Gray loves this country, and the people that live in it. He does not want anyone to come to harm because of his actions. He puts on his facade, so he does not hurt other people. He became a gentle prince to show to the people that he can handle anything. However, his real persona is a passionate man who is more emotional than anyone.

“From that day on, I have always thought of standing next to him. I will never take his hand, no matter how much he wants to help me. I will not be the protected. I will be the one who protects. I want to became his hero, and a hero does not ask the people he protects for help. I want to become this, so he can always depend on me.”(Doyle)

Gray sees me as his friend. This is the reason I have decided to not rely on him. I am not one of his people. He would put on his alternate persona if I was one of his people, but he does not need to worry about anything and can act like himself around me as I am his friend. Him saying that “he will be waiting” is enough for me. I will not kneel to my friend. I will stand next to him and always give him my hand for whenever he needs help.

That is why I still want to be a [Hero], because a [Hero] is an existence that everyone relies on. Whether it be the people or the king, they will come to the [Hero] for help. I always admired my father who had many people rely on him. My grandfather being the supreme commander has the entire army rely on him. Thus, even if I cannot have everyone people rely on me, I at least want my friend to rely on me.

Seeing Jin very quiet in front of me like this must mean he is thinking about the words I have said. I know that Jin is a man who can protect Gray if need be, and he is suitable to be by Gray’s side.

. . . More than anything, he can become a [Hero].

“The position of [Hero] is perfect for that. That is why I envy you Jin, you can become a [Hero].”(Doyle)

“! . . . Is that one of the reasons you were so fixated on the spear?”(Jin)

“My father and grandfather both thought it to be natural that I become the [Hero]. The king would always rely on my father for help whenever a problem arose, thus I wanted to be like my father. A man who you know will protect you, someone you can always rely on . . . Well I guess my time for that has passed. Even though I am not a hero, I will at least try to give support to Gray . . . Remember this is between us aides. Do not tell Gray, ok?”(Doyle)

I tell him honestly that I am envious of him, and he looks very shocked at that. I also tell him the reason for that and tell him to keep it between us. I know the response Gray would give to me if he hears this.

“Doyle, you are being cocky”(Gray)

I know for sure he would say this. He protects Claire all the time. I know he also wants to protect me, but I am not weak nor am I Claire. I can beat him in a fight, and I can win against any opponent in this academy. I may not be a [Hero], but I am strong enough to beat down the [Hero].

I know I have made a lot detours and been sidetracked, but I will stand at a position where he can lean his back against mine. Though it looks like I made another detour, this will only count as detour if I lose. I just have to win to make this a relevant trial on my path.

“. . . Well it is almost time for Ballad to come back. Do you have any other questions?”(Doyle)

I ask Jin if he has any other questions for this visit since Ballad will be coming back anytime now. Also, I have to overcome that last Oxer.

“Master Doyle!”(Jin)

“What!”(Doyle)

While thinking about where Ballad could be, Jin shouts my name loudly. Blanc and Jin’s horse both panic and start to jump around. I am also surprised by this loud voice.

“Master Doyle! I will definitely become the [Hero of the Spear]! I will also stand next to His Highness, just like you!”(Jin)

“. . . I already Knew that.”(Doyle)

I am satisfied by Jin’s answer, but also a little angry deep inside. He is able to say and do the things I can’t so easily. Oh well, I understand that it is just his personality that makes him like that. I feel better now that I have talked to him about this. I feel a weight lifted from my chest too.

“Well then, you better return back to Gray’s side. No matter how well the academy is guarded, a servant must never leave his master’s side.”(Doyle)

“Yes! I am sorry! I will go protect His Highness now, thus please practice with confidence!”(Jin)

As he says that, he quickly gets up, runs to his horse, and jumps on top of it. He forgets to take the reins off the fence though. I did that for him. I feel that he is either observant or just plain stupid sometimes.

I look back at the last Oxer and think that if it was Jin, he would be able to make it across.

“Jin.”(Doyle)

“Yes?”(Jin)

“Can you jump that last Oxer?”(Doyle)

“Yes, I can!”(Jin)

I breath in when I hear that answer. As I thought, he can do that things I can’t do easily. It is really frustrating that he can do it so easily when I have had no success despite trying so hard. I do want to know the trick, but I do not want to ask for his help. I wanted to always be better than him at everything since giving up on being the [Hero], but I swallow my pride because I want to win.

“. . . Are you not scared when you jump that last one?”(Doyle)

I ask Jin about the problem I am having.

“I am scared! But I always close my eyes when I jump that last one! There is nothing after that so I can just trust my horse to run at full speed after that!”(Jin)

“What!”(Doyle)

The answer I get back is shocking. Do not look if you are scared! What a simple solution for a big problem. Hahahaha!

Certainly, he is right. After this one Oxer, there is nothing left so why cannot I just trust Blanc to run though. I can easily practice this solution. I am seriously stupid to not look at the forest when I keep looking at the trees.

“Is there something wrong?’(Jin)

“. . . No, thank you Jin. It was very helpful.”(Doyle)

“I do not understand, but if I was help too you, I am glad!”(Jin)

“Thank you.”(Doyle)

“You are welcome, Master Doyle. Then good day!”(Jin)

Jin breaths a sigh of relief when I thank him for his answer and starts to ride off in the direction of the dorms.

“Thank you, it was a very helpful conversation Jin!”(Doyle)

“I also thank you, Master Doyle! I am glad to know what you hold in your heart! Come on Mahon, let’s ride!”(Jin)

—–hihane!—-

Jin goes as fast as possible back to the dorms with his horse Mahon.

“Are you done with your conversation, Master Doyle?”(Blanc)

Blanc comes up to me after I see Jin off, and I stroke his mane.

“Blanc, you are faster than any horse there is right?”(Doyle)

“Yes, Master! I will surpass all your expectations!”(Blanc)

I stroke Blanc and get on his back.





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