Baobei Baobei - Chapter 2

Published at 9th of May 2017 05:10:33 PM

Chapter 2

so dead!

Yay! I’m on schedule! Here’s Chapter 2! Enjoy~

So many notes this time >_< This novel has too many internet lingo and reference.

Not Edited


Baby Baby


Chapter 2


Xia BaoBei might be silly [1], but her mind was very pure. Due to her strict family and Xia Tian purposely destroying all the “pests”, Xia BaoBei has never even experienced her first love. However, thanks to her roommates, her brain was soon filled with “yellow” things. [2]


Fang Jie once said, “A woman is like an egg. Clear on the outside, yellow on the inside.”


In Xia BaoBei’s dorm room, there lived 4 girls. There was Yin JiaHui, the lady from the northeast, Fang Jie, the Zhejiang baby and Shi XiaoXi, the Beijing girl. [3]


“Oh my god! I’m going to freeze to death!” BaoBei quickly entered the room as she ferociously breathed in the warm air. In her hands were a few plastic bags filled with everyone’s dinner and snacks.


“I love you, BaoBei! You’re the best~! [4]” Shi XiaoXi rushed over as she took the bags from BaoBei. XiaoXi then hurriedly took her own dinner first and started eating.


BaoBei distributed all the food to her friends  first before she took her own food and went back to her own seat – this kid’s living habits are actually quite good.


Shi XiaoXi and Yin JiaHui, on the other hand, crowded around XiaoXi’s seat and pooled together their side dishes.


“Fang Jie is…?” BaoBei asked as she took off her coat and hanged it up.


“Crapping.” XiaoXi said as she pointed towards the toilet.


“Can you not say such disgusting things while others are eating?!” JiaHui angrily cried.


BaoBei, who was going to start eating, suddenly saw her computer screen flickered. She quickly turned around and cried, “Who touched my computer?!”


“Eh? Just now, I used your computer to watch a TV series. Then a mail came in and I nicely helped you reply……”XiaoXi grinned as she tried to curry BaoBei’s favour.


“How nice of you!” BaoBei said as she gnashed her teeth in anger.


On the other side was her brother, Xia Tian!


The content was as so:


Xia Tian: What’s up?

Little BaoBei: Watching a TV series.

Xia Tian: What do you think about 12cm?

Little BaoBei: Small

Xia Tian: Elder sister bought a pair of 12cm shoes today!

Xia Tian: Xia BaoBei, you are so dead!


BaoBei shoved food into her mouth as she hasten to reply.


Little BaoBei: Xia Tian! Xia Tian! That wasn’t me!

Xia Tian: ……

Little BaoBei: Nooooo…… It really wasn’t me!

Xia Tian: Then why are you trying to explain? That means you understood what that meant. Xia BaoBei, you are so dead!


The Xia BaoBei in front of the screen burst into tears.


“Shi XiaoXi! Thanks to you, I’m going to be so dead!”


“It’s nothing! Just tell your little brother Xia Tian that everyone has to grow up. He needs to be more open-minded.” XiaoXi gave a sarcastic remark.


Yin JiaHui raised her head and said, “I saw this thing on Facebook today. About how the trend to wear the pants below the butt was born in a United States jail. There was this prisoner who wanted to experience some “gay times” with another prisoner so they made a secret signal that would go unnoticed by the guards. So every time they wore their pants low, that meant that they are currently “free”.”[5]


“Woah! Then won’t that mean all those trendy males are all really “close” friends!” Shi XiaoXi exclaimed. [6]


“ “Close” friends are more intense and unforgettable  compared to lovers. This is the real deal.”  BaoBei added on. Having gone through a few semester, BaoBei has been thoroughly corrupted.


While they were happily chatting away, Fang Jie suddenly emerged from the toilet gloomily.


“So gloomy…… Constipation?” XiaoXi asked.

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“Just now, Jia Jian told me I can’t read the mood.”


“Texting while pooping… Aren’t you guys being  a little too close?” JiaHui asked in disdain.


“What did you say to make him say that?” BaoBei asked as she took out Fang Jie’s food and passed it to her.


“He sent me a text just now.”


“And what did he sent?”


Fang Jie took out her phone. While she was reading the text, she still managed to angrily shook. “What are you doing? Are you dreaming? Let that dream go and I’ll keep it in my mind. Are you smiling? Let that smile go and I’ll keep it on my lips. Are you crying? Then let the tears go and I’ll keep it on my eyes.”


Fang Jie was puzzled.  “Then I replied, “I’m pooping~” ”[7]


Shi XiaoXi gasped. “Fang Jie, you’re amazing!”


“You call this not reading the mood? It’s him who’s dumb, thinking he’s Jane Austen or something.” [8]


“Love, is like Romance of the Three Kingdoms. The united will be apart while the apart will be united. Love, is also like the Journey to the West. Only with hardships will there be true love. Love, is even more like the Dream of the Red Chamber. There will always be someone who would treat you as precious and spend their whole lifetime dedicating themselves to you. Love, is the most similar to the Water Margin. No matter how much you strive, in the end, it is all about living peacefully. So don’t be troubled, just eat.” BaoBei concluded. [9]


“Yo, BaoBei! Such poetic words, where did you learn them?” JiaHui asked as she wrinkled her nose.


“Saw it on Weibo.” [10]


“Seriously? And you memorised it?”


“This elder sister does not want to memorise such useless things either. It’s just that this elder sister’s memory is too good. How troublesome!” [11] 




This topic continued on until the night. Even after the dorm lights were switched off and the four girls climbed onto their respective beds, they still continued talking about it.
“There’s nothing special about first love, it’s just annoying! This elder sister’s experience is not rich, and the male heart is so hard to guess. If I don’t tell the truth, then I’m grouchy and disagreeable. If I tell the truth, then I can’t read the mood.” Fang Jie rolled on her bed as she hugged her quilt.


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“Huh! Men are shameless! In fact, no man hopes that their wife is experienced in these matters.” JiaHui laughed.


BaoBei hugged her bunny doll as she nodded her head vigorously. All these love entanglements, for the Xia BaoBei who has never even experienced  her first love, was nothing but troublesome. You might wonder, how did she live 19 years of her life, with looks that are not bad, and has still never even had a guy chase after her?


Suddenly, she thought back to her sister’s birthday last year. At the time, her brother-in-law, who was a famous author, posted a love confession in the advertisement section of the newspaper. It wrote, “As long as you are happy, my days will be sunny.”


BaoBei was envious as she asked herself, “When will she find a man who will also love her, adore her and willing to spoil her as well?”


Then the topic changed.


“That shitty Lu Ran managed to fish a tall, rich and handsome guy. Recently, she’s gotten so obnoxious. With her head held so high, I can count the exact number of nose hair in her nose.” Shi XiaoXi said as she sniffed her quilt, filled with all kinds of envy, jealousy and hate.  [12]


“Did you guys see the assistant class head’s status? It made me laugh so badly.” JiaHui, as the class head, had added everyone’s Q account.  [13]


“What did he write?” Fang Jie asked while she texted.


“When class ended, the assistant class head saw the tall, rich and handsome guy came and fetch Lu Ran and made a big fuss and complained about how good looking girls have all went and looked for tall, rich and handsome men. However, later on at night, his status changed. He wrote, “Tonight, I hope all the tall, rich and handsome men will treat our future wives well. Don’t forget to be safe and use safety measures!”


“That’s just sad.” BaoBei said as she shook her head.


“BaoBei, your brother, Xia Tian is also a tall, rich and handsome guy! Is that how he is with his girlfriends?” XiaoXi suddenly asked.


“Xia Tian isn’t like that!” BaoBei pouted unhappily, then added, “If he dared, then I would have no choice but to endure the pain of having the Xia family bloodline die.”




“Actually, I don’t ask for much. I just hope that one day, when I grow up, there will be someone who would quietly stay beside me and accompany me. That is enough.” Fang Jie suddenly said.


“Hey! That is asking for too much!” JiaHui complained.


“How about we go watch a Mayday [14] concert!” BaoBei suddenly said on a whim. This was how their conversation usually went at the dorm, the topics changed very quickly. The month after the next, there would be a Mayday concert. A bunch of their classmates had bought tickets, and even though they only got back row tickets, these students were still the envy of many students.


This was youth, as long as they were able to see Mayday at least once, all their blood, dreams, passion, they will never regret it!


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“No money.” Fang Jie replied.


“The problem isn’t whether we are willing to spend or not, it is the fact that we have no money in the first place.” Shi XiaoXi huffed.


“BaoBei, can you get tickets? And I’m talking about free tickets here.” BaoBei could be considered omnipotent, her roommates has seen themselves what she was capable of. So for her to say such things, it probably meant she had a way.


How wretched could these bastards be? BaoBei was speechless. However, she still answered them.


“My brother-in-law is one of the sponsors.” Xia BaoBei pondered, deciding to call up her brother-in-law the next day.


“Oh my! BaoBei! We’re all counting on you!”


“Our saviour! Benefactor!” [15]




[1] I have no idea what 二归二 means tbh so I just winged it and randomly guessed >_> Sorry guys. Anyone who knows what it means, feel free to correct me >_<

[2] I seriously don’t like using Chinese term in translations but I had to concede for this one >_> “yellow”, other than the colour, can also mean pervert(ed) in Chinese.

[3] Just a little note, JiaHui was called the North-eastern大妞 while XiaoXi was called the Beijing 小妞. 妞 in itself meant girl so it was basically calling JiaHui the big 妞 (big girl) and XiaoXi the small 妞 (small girl). While Fang Jie might be called the Zhejiang baby, however, this baby is not the same baby used for BaoBei and it’s actually 娃, which had more of a baby doll or baby girl kind of meaning.

[4] Here XiaoXi said 辛苦你鸟!where  辛苦你了  is something that is said to someone who has completed a task or favor that you asked him or her to do (to express appreciation for the “hard work” he/she did). However, she used 鸟 instead of 了 which is sort of a cute (?) way of saying it.

[5] This.

Also, in the Chinese version, they used the word “基情” which had the literal meaning of basic feelings that has slowly became a term used to describe being homosexual. Like how the word “gay” went from being happy to being homosexual. Thus the reason I used the word “gay times” >_>

[6] The term used originally was 基友 which had the meaning of gay friends or bromance. However, it can also mean buddy or close friend. So I decided to go for vague and used “close” friends. Also, this novel happened in 2013, when low hanging pants was still a thing… At least I think it was a thing back then….

[7] The tilde was something I added because I couldn’t find a cute way of saying poop T^T Here, Fang Jie actually replied 我在便便. Pooping in chinese is called  大便. Saying 便便makes it sound like crude and also vague because peeing in Chinese is called 小便. So saying 便便 makes it sound kind of cute (?) and childish, I guess >.>

[8] Here, Fang Jie said 是他自己太琼瑶了好伐, where 琼瑶 is one of the most famous romance novelist in the Chinese speaking world. Fang Jie is saying Jia Jian is too 琼瑶 and also very dumb (好伐). Well, at leas I think that’s what she means >_> Feel free to correct me if I’m wrong.

[9] This. Also, the reference for the Dream of Red Chamber is probably wrong lol. Anyone know what a 圭泉 is? Also, saying they would spend their whole life researching or studying you sounds weird >_> And originally it referred “them” instead of “you” but in object/animal form. I assume 圭泉 is some kind of stuff that was studied by the people in the novel so it referenced that lovers would also study their loved ones for their whole life. The original: 爱情,更像红楼,总有一群人把它奉为圭泉,耗费毕生研究它 . If anyone understand what it says, please tell me >_>

[10] Here’s a nice explanation by wikipedia and the actual site.

[11] “this elder sister” was actually BaoBei using the word 姐 to refer to herself. This expresses that she was pointing out how she was older (thus superior) to them.

[12] Here the author used 408 which is apparently internet lingo for “his father” which is also a curse word. (lol I have no idea why parents are curse words in chinese >_>) Also, what kind of name is Lu Ran ( 路然 – literally road then)  Took me awhile to get that it was actually a name and not some weird internet lingo orz

[13] The raws said Q but I think it’s talking about QQ. No idea tho >.> Here’s the Wikipedia and Site anyway.

[14] 五月天 is a famous Taiwanese band. lol even a banana like me know about them >_>

[15] The exact words here were  “求包*养!求包*养!” which I found out after extensive baidu-ing meant something like having someone be your financial provider. I saw a few tieba post where someone said something like 求包*养!and asking for a wife would provide for them. The exact literal meaning is  beg (求) and 包 would mean something like include. And 养 would mean something like maintain or raise. I think it means something like “Begging including, raising me”? I have no idea tbh. Anyone who knows better, feel free to correct me.