Chapter 33
“No need to tell Ye Rong, I already feel so relieved.” He slowly put his hand into his pants pocket, “It’s really laughable, as it turns out, someone’s promise is of so little value, can change anytime.”
He…… was talking about me?
Promise?
When did we talk about promise? Could it be my laughable declaration a very long time ago? —— Zhuang Xu, I will always like you. Even if you can’t accept me now, I will also not change. Wait till I get you!
It was all right that he did not like me and were already together with someone else. Why did he still come here to talk about the past to embarrass me?
The promise was of little value. Even if the promise was valuable, who will cherish it?! Will he cherish it?
I held back the tears in my eyes and said softly: “I’m not hard-hearted. If someone likes me and treats me well, I will be moved, will …… have a change of heart. What is so strange about it?”
Another moment of silence. Then he sneered: “You’re right. Since you’re not hard-hearted, what is so strange to have a change of heart? Who has not changed?”
“Nie Xi Guang, thank you for letting me see the error of my ways so that I may turn back from the wrong path.”
Where had there been a “wrong path”? What sort of “wrong path” had he taken? Really …… ridiculous.
Could it be that the one who was lost and lingering is not me? My eyes were very sore and I tried to keep them open. I tried hard to control, but was unable to control the bouts of tightness in the heart. I just wanted to curl up and disappear.
Zhuang Xu’s figure completely disappeared from the corner of my eye.
I leaned against the wall to support my body, but eventually I still slowly slid down the wall. Then I hugged my knees and buried my head in them.
Acting like this, I knew I was attracting attention. I knew someone will walk along the corridor any time, but I have no other option. I did not have much energy left to pretend to behave naturally, to pretend as if nothing had happened.
“I cannot cry, cannot cry. How foolish to still cry over him.”
Only this sentence was tossing over and over again in my mind.
Because after all, I was a fool.
In this corridor where someone will walk by any time, I buried my head and cried soundlessly.
Until a person pulled me up.
Lin Yu Sen fixed his attention firmly on my eyes, his expression complex and difficult to fathom.
This was too humiliating. I turned my head and rubbed my eyes very hard.
“No need to care about me.” I said in a muffled tone, “I’ll be fine right away, one more minute.”
“How to not care about you? You’re so disappointing.”
He sighed slightly.
“Confessing here will really pull down my class. But with you crying like this, if I don’t take advantage of this opportunity, I’ll let my IQ down. Nie Xi Guang, tell me what should I do?”
His voice was low and also soft, like the quiet breeze blowing gently. His tone sounded like he was slightly confused and it stirred my heart lightly.
I slowly understood the meaning of his words. Suddenly I felt like being blown by a gust of wind until confused and disoriented.
Confession? What did this mean?
Take advantage of this opportunity? What did this mean?
“I came across your classmate who is working in Sheng Yuan at the doorway of the ballroom just a moment ago so I said to her, ‘If I were you, I’ll not go over to Suzhou.’ Anyway, I also ate my own words. I said to myself, I’ll be thirty years old in two years time, so I should not be impatient like a little boy, yet I acted impetuously.”
“I am dead set on her yet hope that she will have a change of heart quickly.” He looked at me, his tone so gentle, “Nie Xi Guang, don’t pretend to be dumb.”
“I am not acting dumb.” My mind was in complete chaos. I stared blankly at him and said, “I only realized just a moment ago, no time to pretend.”
Unexpectedly, he laughed out softly, his laughter full of joy.
“Nie Xi Guang, you’re really ……”
When he lowered his head, his warm breath felt very close all at once, enveloping my whole body from top to bottom, making it almost no space for me to move about. I nervously looked up. He paused for a moment, swiftly moved a step back and let go of my hand.
I now realized that he had actually been holding my hand all along.
Time seemed to stand still for a very long time. He steadied his breathing and handed over the bag in his hand to me.
“I went to get it from the car. Go and change into your new clothes. You bought so many beautiful skirts, so it is a pity if you don’t wear them for everyone to see.”
I carried the clothes that were stuffed into my hands and walked to the toilet again. My footsteps seemed like I was stepping on the clouds.
When I turned, I cannot help but to stop and look at Lin Yu Sen. He was leaning against the wall, his gaze rested on the ground. He was always so high-spirited, confident and calm but I actually thought that he looked very lonely at this moment.
He had just said …… he likes me?
Lin Yu Sen ……
……me?
I changed my clothes and returned to the banquet table with Lin Yu Sen. After sitting for a while, we got up to say goodbye.
The groom, bride, best man and bridesmaid were already seeing guests off at the doorway of the hotel.
Boss patted me: “Oh no, you actually changed your clothes. Hey, this is also very pretty. Miss High and Mighty, you’ve brought along more clothes than me.”
I was slow in my reaction and glanced at her. My mind did not manage to form a reply in such a short period of time.
Lin Yu Sen said with a smile on his face: “It’ll snow again in the afternoon, so the traffic will be affected. Thus we’ll make a move first.”
Boss behaved appropriately like a host: “Thank you for attending our wedding.”
When we were walking out of the hotel, Zhuang Xu happened to finish seeing off a guest and was turning around. His tall body was in danger of brushing past me, bringing in the chill from outside. I subconsciously moved towards Lin Yu Sen’s side .
It was already snowing lightly outside.
I walked beside Lin Yu Sen and has never felt so ill at ease. Momentarily, I found his strong sense of presence making me not knowing what to do. Both of his hands were inserted into his overcoat pockets. We walked at a leisurely pace for a while, then suddenly he started to talk.
“So my confession also has the effect of making you feel numb.”
My movement was somewhat stiff and I stopped in my tracks. Then I looked down at my tiptoes.
“I am sorry!”
All was quiet for a while.
“Nie Xi Guang, you should not reject me like this.”
“You should confidently and righteously say, Lin Yu Sen, I still have not taken a fancy to you because you’ve not met my requirements. However not like this as if you’ve done something that let me down.”
“No.”
I quickly looked up and subconsciously denied his statement.
How could he not meet my requirements? Such a brilliant, outstanding and distinctive man. Even when I was fantasizing what my other half will be like when I was young, I also felt embarrassed to fantasize such perfection.
But if I still felt pain and broken-hearted over a person, cannot forget him, so how can I accept another person?
“I just”, I paused for a while. “I just have not forgotten the person I like …… you saw it just now. If two people want to be together, it must be wholeheartedly. However I can’t do it now.”
Lin Yu Sen looked at me with a faint smile.
“Actually, I lied to you in the hotel just a moment ago.”
What? I looked at him in shock, the heart suddenly palpitating.
“I said, if I don’t take advantage of this opportunity, I’ll let my IQ down. In fact confessing to you at that time will really let my IQ down, let down the annual plan that I justified the business case all night yesterday, but …… as it turns out these kind of things are beyond our control, unable to be calculated.”
He smiled, “First time I am experiencing this kind of feeling, truly novel.”
“I know you’ll reject me. But so quickly …… what to do. At the moment, I’m a little, uh, have no face to go back home to see the elders (an idiom meaning too ashamed). However it is within my expectation. Although it is a tumor, fortunately it seems benign.”
He nodded, appearing like he was feeling pretty good, “Well, it seems that I can only make steady progress incrementally. In that case, we’ll end our discussion here. We’ll talk more when we get back to Suzhou?”
Talk more, what to talk more?
Did you see my confused, disoriented and dazed appearance?
I was obviously expressing myself very earnestly. But how come I felt that I cannot keep up with him momentarily?
Tumor and stuff like that suddenly popping up in our conversation, is that really okay?
I tried to sort out my train of thought which had been distorted by him. One minute later, I was still unsuccessful. Thus I have no choice but to focus on some comparatively simple topics.
“I am not going back to Suzhou, I …… want to go back to Wuxi.” I quickly explained, “Anyway, there is still one and a half day of vacation left. Moreover I’ve not gone back to see my mother for some time. I want to drink the soup boiled by my mother, I …..”
“Do you need so many reasons to go home?” Lin Yu Sen said, amusement lacing his voice, “Okay, then I send you to …… the train station.”
“…… No need, I can take a taxi there.”
Finally he heaved a sigh.
“Nie Xi Guang, do you intend to avoid me and stay away in the future?”
“No.” I felt awkward and bit my lower lip. I did not know how to express my intention tactfully. In the end, I was defeated by my muddled brain and decided to be a little more direct.
Since he was so smart, it probably will not make much difference whether I did it directly or tactfully.
“Obviously, I did not accept him, yet enjoying his care. Isn’t it too much?”
He frowned slightly, put on an appearance like he was pondering over something, “I don’t have much experience in this, but don’t tell me this is not the normal courtship process? Therefore you mean, not only you are not accepting me, but you are also not letting me court you?”
“Court you”. When I heard these two words from Lin Yu Sen’s mouth, I immediately felt at a loss to know what to do. Furthermore, how come when he summed it up, it made me sound I’m laying down the terms like a tyrant?
“If in the end I still do not …… why are you wasting your time?”
“Nie Xi Guang, even if you have no confidence in yourself, why don’t you have confidence in me?” Lin Yu Sen looked at me with a gentle gaze.
“Didn’t you say I am awesome in everything I do?” He raised his eyebrows slightly, “Such a soft-hearted girl like you who doesn’t even have the heart to say out ‘in the end you can’t accept me’, how dumb must I be not to be able to court you?”
Was he praising me or laughing at me ……
I looked at him dumbfounded. While feeling awkward, suddenly I felt a little laughable.
“You are scared until you don’t even dare to ride in my car ……” He sighed and said, “I am merely wooing you, but not talking about business cooperation. Therefore do you have to speak about the return on investment? Why do you have to think that you’ve let me down just because you did not accept me?”
“My wooing should be considered as a benefit to you, not a burden.”
I stared blankly at him.
“You said you still like the other person, so what is the problem?” He was smiling and watching attentively, when he said resolutely and decisively, “I’ll let you choose.”
Chapter 33
“No need to tell Ye Rong, I already feel so relieved.” He slowly put his hand into his pants pocket, “It’s really laughable, as it turns out, someone’s promise is of so little value, can change anytime.”
He…… was talking about me?
Promise?
When did we talk about promise? Could it be my laughable declaration a very long time ago? —— Zhuang Xu, I will always like you. Even if you can’t accept me now, I will also not change. Wait till I get you!
It was all right that he did not like me and were already together with someone else. Why did he still come here to talk about the past to embarrass me?
The promise was of little value. Even if the promise was valuable, who will cherish it?! Will he cherish it?
I held back the tears in my eyes and said softly: “I’m not hard-hearted. If someone likes me and treats me well, I will be moved, will …… have a change of heart. What is so strange about it?”
Another moment of silence. Then he sneered: “You’re right. Since you’re not hard-hearted, what is so strange to have a change of heart? Who has not changed?”
“Nie Xi Guang, thank you for letting me see the error of my ways so that I may turn back from the wrong path.”
Where had there been a “wrong path”? What sort of “wrong path” had he taken? Really …… ridiculous.
Could it be that the one who was lost and lingering is not me? My eyes were very sore and I tried to keep them open. I tried hard to control, but was unable to control the bouts of tightness in the heart. I just wanted to curl up and disappear.
Zhuang Xu’s figure completely disappeared from the corner of my eye.
I leaned against the wall to support my body, but eventually I still slowly slid down the wall. Then I hugged my knees and buried my head in them.
Acting like this, I knew I was attracting attention. I knew someone will walk along the corridor any time, but I have no other option. I did not have much energy left to pretend to behave naturally, to pretend as if nothing had happened.
“I cannot cry, cannot cry. How foolish to still cry over him.”
Only this sentence was tossing over and over again in my mind.
Because after all, I was a fool.
In this corridor where someone will walk by any time, I buried my head and cried soundlessly.
Until a person pulled me up.
Lin Yu Sen fixed his attention firmly on my eyes, his expression complex and difficult to fathom.
This was too humiliating. I turned my head and rubbed my eyes very hard.
“No need to care about me.” I said in a muffled tone, “I’ll be fine right away, one more minute.”
“How to not care about you? You’re so disappointing.”
He sighed slightly.
“Confessing here will really pull down my class. But with you crying like this, if I don’t take advantage of this opportunity, I’ll let my IQ down. Nie Xi Guang, tell me what should I do?”
His voice was low and also soft, like the quiet breeze blowing gently. His tone sounded like he was slightly confused and it stirred my heart lightly.
I slowly understood the meaning of his words. Suddenly I felt like being blown by a gust of wind until confused and disoriented.
Confession? What did this mean?
Take advantage of this opportunity? What did this mean?
“I came across your classmate who is working in Sheng Yuan at the doorway of the ballroom just a moment ago so I said to her, ‘If I were you, I’ll not go over to Suzhou.’ Anyway, I also ate my own words. I said to myself, I’ll be thirty years old in two years time, so I should not be impatient like a little boy, yet I acted impetuously.”
“I am dead set on her yet hope that she will have a change of heart quickly.” He looked at me, his tone so gentle, “Nie Xi Guang, don’t pretend to be dumb.”
“I am not acting dumb.” My mind was in complete chaos. I stared blankly at him and said, “I only realized just a moment ago, no time to pretend.”
Unexpectedly, he laughed out softly, his laughter full of joy.
“Nie Xi Guang, you’re really ……”
When he lowered his head, his warm breath felt very close all at once, enveloping my whole body from top to bottom, making it almost no space for me to move about. I nervously looked up. He paused for a moment, swiftly moved a step back and let go of my hand.
I now realized that he had actually been holding my hand all along.
Time seemed to stand still for a very long time. He steadied his breathing and handed over the bag in his hand to me.
“I went to get it from the car. Go and change into your new clothes. You bought so many beautiful skirts, so it is a pity if you don’t wear them for everyone to see.”
I carried the clothes that were stuffed into my hands and walked to the toilet again. My footsteps seemed like I was stepping on the clouds.
When I turned, I cannot help but to stop and look at Lin Yu Sen. He was leaning against the wall, his gaze rested on the ground. He was always so high-spirited, confident and calm but I actually thought that he looked very lonely at this moment.
He had just said …… he likes me?
Lin Yu Sen ……
……me?
I changed my clothes and returned to the banquet table with Lin Yu Sen. After sitting for a while, we got up to say goodbye.
The groom, bride, best man and bridesmaid were already seeing guests off at the doorway of the hotel.
Boss patted me: “Oh no, you actually changed your clothes. Hey, this is also very pretty. Miss High and Mighty, you’ve brought along more clothes than me.”
I was slow in my reaction and glanced at her. My mind did not manage to form a reply in such a short period of time.
Lin Yu Sen said with a smile on his face: “It’ll snow again in the afternoon, so the traffic will be affected. Thus we’ll make a move first.”
Boss behaved appropriately like a host: “Thank you for attending our wedding.”
When we were walking out of the hotel, Zhuang Xu happened to finish seeing off a guest and was turning around. His tall body was in danger of brushing past me, bringing in the chill from outside. I subconsciously moved towards Lin Yu Sen’s side .
It was already snowing lightly outside.
I walked beside Lin Yu Sen and has never felt so ill at ease. Momentarily, I found his strong sense of presence making me not knowing what to do. Both of his hands were inserted into his overcoat pockets. We walked at a leisurely pace for a while, then suddenly he started to talk.
“So my confession also has the effect of making you feel numb.”
My movement was somewhat stiff and I stopped in my tracks. Then I looked down at my tiptoes.
“I am sorry!”
All was quiet for a while.
“Nie Xi Guang, you should not reject me like this.”
“You should confidently and righteously say, Lin Yu Sen, I still have not taken a fancy to you because you’ve not met my requirements. However not like this as if you’ve done something that let me down.”
“No.”
I quickly looked up and subconsciously denied his statement.
How could he not meet my requirements? Such a brilliant, outstanding and distinctive man. Even when I was fantasizing what my other half will be like when I was young, I also felt embarrassed to fantasize such perfection.
But if I still felt pain and broken-hearted over a person, cannot forget him, so how can I accept another person?
“I just”, I paused for a while. “I just have not forgotten the person I like …… you saw it just now. If two people want to be together, it must be wholeheartedly. However I can’t do it now.”
Lin Yu Sen looked at me with a faint smile.
“Actually, I lied to you in the hotel just a moment ago.”
What? I looked at him in shock, the heart suddenly palpitating.
“I said, if I don’t take advantage of this opportunity, I’ll let my IQ down. In fact confessing to you at that time will really let my IQ down, let down the annual plan that I justified the business case all night yesterday, but …… as it turns out these kind of things are beyond our control, unable to be calculated.”
He smiled, “First time I am experiencing this kind of feeling, truly novel.”
“I know you’ll reject me. But so quickly …… what to do. At the moment, I’m a little, uh, have no face to go back home to see the elders (an idiom meaning too ashamed). However it is within my expectation. Although it is a tumor, fortunately it seems benign.”
He nodded, appearing like he was feeling pretty good, “Well, it seems that I can only make steady progress incrementally. In that case, we’ll end our discussion here. We’ll talk more when we get back to Suzhou?”
Talk more, what to talk more?
Did you see my confused, disoriented and dazed appearance?
I was obviously expressing myself very earnestly. But how come I felt that I cannot keep up with him momentarily?
Tumor and stuff like that suddenly popping up in our conversation, is that really okay?
I tried to sort out my train of thought which had been distorted by him. One minute later, I was still unsuccessful. Thus I have no choice but to focus on some comparatively simple topics.
“I am not going back to Suzhou, I …… want to go back to Wuxi.” I quickly explained, “Anyway, there is still one and a half day of vacation left. Moreover I’ve not gone back to see my mother for some time. I want to drink the soup boiled by my mother, I …..”
“Do you need so many reasons to go home?” Lin Yu Sen said, amusement lacing his voice, “Okay, then I send you to …… the train station.”
“…… No need, I can take a taxi there.”
Finally he heaved a sigh.
“Nie Xi Guang, do you intend to avoid me and stay away in the future?”
“No.” I felt awkward and bit my lower lip. I did not know how to express my intention tactfully. In the end, I was defeated by my muddled brain and decided to be a little more direct.
Since he was so smart, it probably will not make much difference whether I did it directly or tactfully.
“Obviously, I did not accept him, yet enjoying his care. Isn’t it too much?”
He frowned slightly, put on an appearance like he was pondering over something, “I don’t have much experience in this, but don’t tell me this is not the normal courtship process? Therefore you mean, not only you are not accepting me, but you are also not letting me court you?”
“Court you”. When I heard these two words from Lin Yu Sen’s mouth, I immediately felt at a loss to know what to do. Furthermore, how come when he summed it up, it made me sound I’m laying down the terms like a tyrant?
“If in the end I still do not …… why are you wasting your time?”
“Nie Xi Guang, even if you have no confidence in yourself, why don’t you have confidence in me?” Lin Yu Sen looked at me with a gentle gaze.
“Didn’t you say I am awesome in everything I do?” He raised his eyebrows slightly, “Such a soft-hearted girl like you who doesn’t even have the heart to say out ‘in the end you can’t accept me’, how dumb must I be not to be able to court you?”
Was he praising me or laughing at me ……
I looked at him dumbfounded. While feeling awkward, suddenly I felt a little laughable.
“You are scared until you don’t even dare to ride in my car ……” He sighed and said, “I am merely wooing you, but not talking about business cooperation. Therefore do you have to speak about the return on investment? Why do you have to think that you’ve let me down just because you did not accept me?”
“My wooing should be considered as a benefit to you, not a burden.”
I stared blankly at him.
“You said you still like the other person, so what is the problem?” He was smiling and watching attentively, when he said resolutely and decisively, “I’ll let you choose.”
