MIDDLE SCHOOL EDITION – VOLUME 1
taichi’s chapter – 3
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taichi’s chapter
yo no naka yo michi kosonakere
(within this world, there is, indeed, no path)
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3 – onore nomi (it is I alone)
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Hirai’s back, which had looked so large, made Taichi’s chest hurt. Taichi was troubled for several days about why the pain did not disappear and why he couldn’t look straight at Hirai.
At times like this – when he didn’t understand his relationships with other people – there were words that Taichi used to guide himself.
‘The source of the problem and the responsibility for it is never one hundred percent the other party.’
Taichi’s father had taught him that. His father was also somebody who was strict with himself – he liked the phrase 'self-improvement’.
(I’m at fault for not being able to respond to Hirai properly. Hirai’s an airhead, so I should just take what he says at face value.)
Taichi relaxed after discovering what had been wrong with himself. He could improve himself more.
(I need to tell Hirai thank you. The words 'thank you’ have a lot of value to them, so I’ll get something back. If somebody says thank you to you, you have to say thank you for the words that made you happy – giving back, as Dad used to say.)
Taichi looked for Hirai and found him practicing by himself alone against the concrete wall behind the physical course clubrooms. He threw and kicked the ball to the wall and caught tit when it returned.
Behind him, there was a fence that was painted white, probably as a stand in for a goal. It was a thin fence that you might accidentally overlook and walk right into if you weren’t careful.
Today, all the physical course members were supposed to have gone to the special facility for the affiliated university in the city. The only person by these clubrooms was Hirai.
Hirai’s forehead was sweaty as he chased the ball fervently. He was so focussed that he didn’t even notice when Taichi called his name.
(He could skip if he wanted to since nobody’s looking, but… He’s so stupidly honest.)
For some reason, Taichi felt a bit awkward. He glanced to his side and saw Hirai’s bag and a notebook with sticky notes all over it on the concrete stairs. It looked like the clubrooms were locked.
The wind blew open the notebook, flipping the pages. Hirai’s writing was squeezed tightly onto them. They were crammed in there, unlike Hirai’s neatly summarized class notes.
Written in the notebook were various practice menus, how much he’d done and his tips, and the parts that he wasn’t able to do yet.
'Drop your waist more.’ 'Weight towards your thumb, not your ankle.’ 'Side-jump then catch, roll your upper half, stop the force of the ball, drop to the ground in receiving position. Hold the ball tight to your chest – don’t forget.’ 'For high shots, jump with the closer leg – lift up the opposite leg and arm. Be careful not to jump with your right leg so that you can get better with your left!’
Every page was filled with so many words that it looked black.
(So even Hirai writes things to remember… He usually remembers with his body, but he writes this much too.)
After writing it to help him remember, he used his body to practice.
(He understands what it means to work hard too.)
The latter half of the notebook was a journal. He had the contents of each day’s practice written in detail there, noting down in red pen the people he’d seen.
There were no lies in this journal. Taichi was sure of it. Even though Hirai didn’t seen anyone today, he would probably write down what he’d practised – not for anyone else. Just for himself.
Taichi shut the notebook and let out a long sigh. He waited until Hirai’s practice ended… or he would have, if Hirai hadn’t noticed him partway through.
'Ah, Mashima-kuuun, what’s up?’
'I’m just here 7cause I had some free time.’
It was probably obvious to Hirai that there was no way Taichi had any free time. Hirai cocked his head and then looked down, thinking. Then, he smiled.
'Then would you join me in practising? I want to imagine the opponent’s shots and do cross practice. You’re still in your uniform, so it’s OK, right?’
'Yeah.’
– Today’s 'giving back’.
The two of them practised until the sun set. They also walked back on the way home to the nearest station. They talked about pointless things and both ended up smiling – it really was fun.
-
The next day, there was a lecture on classic literature. It was the hottest day so far this year. Since they were in the period of uniform change when taking off their jackets was allowed, the students were all in their dress shirts with their ties loose. There were many students who had rolled up their slives.
'Today, we will analyse the “Journey to the East” episode of Ise Monogatari. This is a particularly famous scene even within Ise Monogatari.’
At the lectern in the third lecture room, Fujiwara-sensei spoke in a sonorant voice.
’“In the past, there was a man. This man was convinced that his existence was meaningless and that he was not needed by anyone. He did not want to be in the city any longer, so he left on a journey to find a place to live in the east.” This man is Ariwara Narihira. Searching for himself, escaping from reality, running away from human relationships because of his own thoughts – ’
Taichi was given a start at the words 'convinced that his existence was meaningless’. Harada-sensei’s words suddenly echoed again in his ears.
– ’“It is I alone”. Even though the speaker is thinking about someone else, that someone feels nothing. That’s the meaning of the poem. A card to remember for going against the wind and crying out, “Only me!”’
Taichi glanced at Hirai beside him. He was taking notes in one notebook while also studying English in the notebook underneath it.
(It’s unusual for Hirai not to be paying attention in the lecture. Did he forget his homework?)
Taichi gave into his curiosity and peeked at what Hirai was studying.
(Eh… That has to be second or third-year level.)
On top of that, Taichi could see a bruise through the gap left by the cuff in Hirai’s sleeve. It had been unbuttoned in the heat.
(Did he hit something? I don’t think it was yesterday… Yeah, I don’t remember seeing it. This morning, maybe?)
After the lecture finished, it was lunch break. When Taichi stood up, he didn’t miss how the English notebook that Hirai quickly shut away had somebody else’s name on it. He also didn’t miss that it was the name of a third-year student in the physical course.
'What are you doing, Hirai? Whose is that?’
Taichi took a challenging tone without thinking.
'E-er, an upperclassman asked me to help with his homework… since he had his hands full with the match yesterday.’
'And that bruise on your arm?’
Taichi suddenly imagined an upperclassman grabbing Hirai’s arm and forcing him to do his homework.
'This? Ah, I just run into a lot of things. Nobody did this to me.’
(Would you normally go out of your way to say 'Nobody did this to me’?)
'There wasn’t a bruise a yesterday. Did you practise this morning?’
Hirai nodded without hesitation.
'Even if that’s where the bruise is from… why are you doing somebody else’s homework? It’s strange.’
'Ehh? Is it really that strange?’
To Taichi, it looked like Hirai was playing dumb.
'Give it to me.’
Taichi snatched the homework notebook.
'I-it’s fine. It’s got nothing to do with you!’
'Let’s go to the library. It’s quiet. We’ll eat later. If you have any other ones, be honest and take them out.’
'Mashima-kun… why…’
Hirai looked troubled. Neither of them wanted to be pitied, Taichi realised.
'What, you’re not going to say “Thanks!” and smile like always?’
'Urgh… sorry, thanks…’
'You don’t have to say thanks. Just leave it at “Why”!’
With fuzzy feelings, Tiachi started to do the homework of a complete stranger.
* * *
From the next day on, with the midterms approaching, the university course clubs entered their pre-exam break. Perhaps because of the coming rainy season, a light rain was coming down on the newly sprouted plants. The rain hitting the fresh leaves continued to grow stronger.
Taichi, who was studying in the library, was told by the librarian that it was closing time.
He decided to go home quickly to finish the rest of his review problems and took the shortcut to the school gates through the sports ground even though his shoes might get dirty.
'Eh? … What’s that guy doing?’
Hirai was cleaning up the grounds in the rain. He had two buckets, picking up small rocks from the ground in one and filling up puddles with the dirt in the other.
'You’re soaked. Why are you doing this on a rainy day?’
Taichi had heard that the physical course clubs only had a day off right before exams. As long as university course students were in a physical course club, they weren’t exempt.
'I feel cold just watching you. Just get it over with.’
When Hirai looked away, Taichi understood. There were a number of buckets under the roof of the tool shed. Taichi walked up in them and peeked inside – they were filled with rocks. Beside them, there were more empty buckets in a pile. When Taichi opened the tool shed door, there were buckets filled with dirt.
’… Can you not leave until you’ve filled all the empty buckets with rocks?’
Even if the sun did set late in May, there was no way that somebody could finish this alone before night.
'Are you an idiot? … You, and the people who made you do it.’
Hirai had been doing somebody else’s homework. This was probably an unreasonable order by an upperclassman.
Hirai silently continued his work.
'You accepted it, so deal with it somehow. You’ll get a cold.’
Forgetting about other people’s homework for now, Taichi didn’t want to get a cold from the rain. If he got a fever now, he wouldn’t be able to study for the tests.
'Even you might make a mistake on the tests if you caught a cold.’
Raindrops dripped from Hirai’s hair down his cheeks. His jersey was soaked too, sticking to his slender body.
'Screw up, screw up. Catch a cold and screw up.’
Taichi looked away from Hirai and tried to leave. His heart was pounding. He tripped on a bucket of small rocks.
'Ah.’
When Taichi tried to put the bucket back in its place, it was heavier than he expected.
'This is heavy… Even though this doesn’t have anything to do with me, it’s pretty awful.’
As Taichi tried to leave, his heart started pounding more loudly. He had done something similar before. Because he’d thought he couldn’t win… he had done something awful.
– 'Mashima, you’re a coward.’
Arata’s voice… Taichi could hear it clearly.
(I’m still as uncool as I was before. Just as uncool and disgraceful as when I stole Arata’s glasses before the match even though he can’t see anything without them, since I knew I couldn’t beat him in karuta… I haven’t changed at all.)
'Doing that… doesn’t count as a win.’
If Taichi left now, he would be as awful as the upperclassmen from the physical course.
Taichi took off the top half of his uniform as well as his tie. After putting them along with his bag in the tool shed, he put down the bucket, kicked his way through some puddles and ran towards Hirai.
'Hey, Hirai. I’ll help so let’s get this over with quickly. You’ll catch a cold.’
'Mashima-kun… It’s fine. It’s my job.’
'You get stuck doing these things 'cause you just do them without saying anything. The physical course guys do some awful things.’
'Physical course and university course – that’s got nothing to do with it. It’s because I’m the newbie.’
Unexpectedly, Hirai was smiling.
'I’m happy that I’m not being treated differently. Nobody puts me at a distance. They’re really strict with me during practice when I can’t do something too.’
'Are you a masochist? It’s just because you could do anything up until now even without anyone being strict with ou – you’re just happy 'cause it’s rare for you to be told off. You really are a strange guy.’
'Yup, this is better than being ignored. Better than being left outside of the circle. Much better than running away without actually competing.’
Taichi looked down, pretending to pick up stones as he hid his face. His chest stung.
(I can’t run. With Hirai… it’s not winning or losing. I can’t run.)
'Mashima-kuuun… thanks. Really. Don’t overdo it!)
'If you have the time to talk, hurry up and get this done.’
'OK!’
-
The next day, when Taichi went through the school gates in the morning, he saw physical course students in a crowd at the front, making a front. When Taichi tried to walk past them, just thinking they were in the way, he heard their conversation.
'Cleaning up the ground now?’
'The first-year in the soccer club that came in from the university course – ’
A chill ran down Taichi’s spine and he listened in carefully.
'He didn’t have to do it in the rain.’
(Yesterday… was that bad?)
'Right now, he’s explaining himself to the other guys in the soccer club.’
The bruise on Hirai’s wrist flashed through Taichi’s mind. Maybe he was being blamed because Taichi had gone and helped him.
(This is bad for Hirai.)
People that looked like members of the physical course soccer club were surrounding somebody on the pitch that Taichi had worked on yesterday. The black head he saw in the middle…
'Hirai!’
(Hirai tried so hard – what problem do you have with him!?)
Taichi forced his way through the crowd to stand beside Hirai.
’… Mashima-kun!?’
In a low, intimidating voice, Taichi said, 'You still want to make Hirai do more? I think giving somebody ridiculous orders without letting them say anything is a human rights problem.’
'Mashima… is this the guy?’
The large-framed upperclassmen nodded at each other and then looked exasperated.
'Mashima, what are you saying? Did Hirai ask you to help? Was he crying about how troubled he was?’
'Th… that’s…’
It was true that Hirai had only said things like 'It’s fine – it’s got nothing to do with you’ and 'It’s my job’.
'I just thought he was holding back because he didn’t want to trouble me…’
'And you just meddled without listening to Hirai. Hirai’s been advancing – trying his best to get along with the club.’
Taichi couldn’t object.
'Nobody’s forcing him to do anything. The only reason he didn’t stop in the rain was his own will.’
Hirai, who had been astonished, came back to his senses and tried to stop Taichi, but Taichi held him back.
'Then what about that bruise on his arm…’
The upperclassmen looked at each other, confused, and then they nodded in comprehension.
'Oh, the one from when he hit the frame used for the goal post after catching the ball? We told him to take a break and ice it, but he practices hard even from the morning.’
(Frame… Come to think of it, there was something like that.)
While Taichi was thinking, an upperclassman said, 'Got it?’ Then, they tried to leave.
'Wait. You really – ’
'Mashima-kun, wait – you’ve misunderstood. the upperclassmen are going to help me do what we didn’t finish yesterday.’
’… Eh?’
Taichi turned to look at where Hirai was pointing and saw the club members coming out of the tool shed with buckets.
'When they came in the morning, they thought it was strange 'cause more holes than they’d expected had been filled up and the buckets were also filled with rocks, even though it was raining, so I explained the situation to them and then…’
'What, you aren’t being bullied or something?’
'I’m not! Though everyone said you were meddlesome just now, that was praise. They admired you. Otherwise, the captain wouldn’t’ve said that they were all going to do the rest this morning.’
'Then what aobut the homework and the bruise…’
'For the homework, I was just looking over one of the upperclassmen’s notebooks since the notes were a mess – he’d taken a nap since he was so tired. I was so happy when they asked me for help. For the homework, I just took it because I heard one of them say that he’d rather sleep than do it. I thought that if I wrote how to do the problems then it could be a good reference for them.’
'You wouldn’t normally take up someone’s homework… And what, you were happy to be relied on?’
'Yup!’
Hirai’s innocent smile made Taichi feel exhausted. He crouched down, even though the wet ground would make his trousers dirt.
'Are you serious…’
Just as the club members said, it appeared that the bruise had also come from practice.
'Then say it more clearly! I was worried!’
'Sooorry. I was so happy, so I just ended up letting you keep going.’
Hirai ran a hand through his hair in an embarrassed manner, making his bed head even worse.
'Sorry to make you misunderstand, Mashima-kuuun.’
’… Ah… hahaha… hahahahahaha!’
All Taichi could do in the face of Hirai’s kindness was laugh. He almost fell over in laughter when he thought about his own stupid kindness.
'Hey, Mashima-kun, I’m really really happy that you came here for me – I’m sorry I made you misunderstand, but I’m seriously grateful! Thanks for misunderstanding.’
Taichi stood up and hugged Hirai’s shoulder. He was still laughing. Hirai started laughing as well.
-
Then… Hirai beat Taichi again with a one-point difference during the midterms. Just as Taichi had let out a sigh, looking at the posted results, Hirai patted him on the shoulder.
'When I tried my hardest, I feel like I’ve come to understand a bit… Because I’m in a club, I don’t have as much time to look over my notes. I’m sleepy since I’m so tired, so it’s hard for me to concentrate.’
Hirai laughed, sounding embarrassed.
'I feel like I understand what everyone’s “hard work” a little bit better… Though maybe I don’t understand it, I’ve had a taste of it. I’ve got to try harder.’
Taichi used his fist to jab Hirai’s side.
'I seriously hate you…’
Hirai looked at Taichi with a troubled expression.
'I really love you though!’
The students surrounding them stopped to look at them, so Taichi ran off.
-
After Taichi returned home and was scolded by his mother – 'Second place again?’ – he wrote the word 'Focus’ with big strokes on a piece of paper in his room.
'It’s impossible to chase perfection in everything. If I have to become first place… I’ll just focus on getting past Hirai.’
If Taichi took a break from karuta, he wouldn’t be able to meet Chihaya. His promise with Arata also… but Hirai was too large in front of Taichi. He couldn’t advance while avoiding Hirai.
Taichi thought about putting up the piece of paper, but he decided not to and shut it in his drawer. He felt like he would feel satisfied just from looking at the word if he put it up.
* * *
It was July. According to the weather forecast, it would soon be the end of the rainy season, but the rain was incredibly heavy at this time.
On the train that Taichi took to school in the morning, he saw the news flash by on the screen above the door: 'Rainy season causes heavy rain in Fukui, Kyoto and Hyogo.’
'Rainy in Fukui… Hope nothing bad happens.’
Taichi was startled when he suddenly heard a familiar way of speaking. He looked for the speaker without thinking. It was a young man’s voice… but not Arata. The man was probably also from Fukui.
(Arata… He’s probably playing karuta. I wonder if his grandfather’s feeling better…)
They had a Classical Literature lecture that day as well. In the third lecture room, Fujiwara-sensei spoke about Ise Monogatari.
'Today, we will analyse the “mekaru tomo” episode. This episode is also called. “uruwashiki tomo”. “mekaru tomo” is written with the characters that mean you’ve lost sight of something, and the phrase means that though we can’t meet since we are far apart, while “uruwashiki” is written with the character for beautiful… A beautiful friend means a very important close friend. “In the past, a man had a close friend. They were always together and spent their days together fondly, but his close friend left the land. It was a very sad farewell.”’
(Urgh… Why is it a story like this now?)
– Arata crying, 'We probably won’t see each other again.’ Chihaya saying, 'We’ll see each other again – definitely.’
(She probably meant that we would meet at a competition if we continued karuta and became stronger… Why does Chihaya care so much… about seeing Arata again with karuta…)
The rain quietly hit the ground outside the window as the lecture continued.
’“It is probably a law of the world that being able to see someone means that you will forget.” The close friend sent a letter like this after a long silence, so he replied like this. “I haven’t thought about not being able to meet, since I always remember you, unable to forget.” Yes… there was a waka like this in the Hyakunin Isshu.
“tachiwakare
inaba no yama no
mine ni ouru – ”
(Even if I depart
and go to Inaba Mountain
on whose peak grow – )
'Mashima-kun?’
'matsutoshi kikaba
ima kaeri kon.’
(pines, if I hear you pine for me,
I will return straightaway to you.)
Taichi ended up responding instinctively once called. The kimariji 'tachi’ was for the card 'matsuto’.
'Correct. That’s Mashima-kun for you. Were you listening carefully?’
'Eh? E-er…’
'Or did you remember somebody that you can’t forget?’
When Taichi went bright red, everyone burst out laughing. Somebody called out, 'Is it a girl?’
'It’s a guy!’
That just made everyone laugh harder.
'This poem was written by Narihira’s older brother, Yukihira. Yukihira moved as a government official to Inaba – the current Tottori Prefecture. When he left the people in the capital, he said this poem. “If I hear that you are waiting, I will come home straightaway.” Even though he wouldn’t have actually been able to do that, he made a promise with those feelings – that he wanted to return no matter what to this person… That person does not have to be a woman. The friend he was so close to may have been male.’
(So that’s the meaning of the 'tachi’ card…)
'The poems in Ise Monogatari and this poem too – in this time when people might have to wait dozens of days for letters to come, since they didn'th ave emails and phones like we have now, farewells were much more painful – ’
Fujiwara-sensei wrote 'The pain of bidding a close friend farewell’ on the board and then continued his lecture.
(“I haven’t thought about not being able to meet, since I always remember you, unable to forget.”)
Taichi reread the words he had written in his notebook. Distance didn’t matter if you were thinking of someone, whether they were very far away or in the seat beside you…
-
As Taichi went home in the rain, he saw a thick letter stuck in the postbox by the door. Half of it was sticking out, wet with the rain. Taichi pulled it out and saw just the words 'To Taichi’ for the address. On the back, it said 'From Chihaya’ – it looked like she had put it in the postbox herself.
'Chihaya… If you need something, call… but I guess she can’t, since Mum would hang up on her… I have a mobile, but… I haven’t told her my number or my email address… and I don’t think she has a mobile anyway.’
That was why she’d sent a letter. they couldn7t contact each other easily, even though they lived close b y.
'Ha, she’s probably just writing to tell me to play karuta. I can tell without reading it.’
Taichi went to his room and then opened the letter without even changing out of his uniform. It was a very long letter.
'I heard there was heavy rain in Fukui, but I wonder if Arata’s OK. You’re worried too, right? You haven’t forgotten about Arata and karuta, right? I won the D-kyuu competition at the beginning of June, so I’m the same as you now, Taichi. C-kyuu. I’m going to become stronger.
'After I told Harada-sensei I wanted to become stronger, he invited me to the competition in Kyoto at the end of June, but Sensei was going to some study thing and Mum was busy going to Okinawa with my sister for a shoot, so I gave up, since I couldn’t go alone.’
Though the letter was long, not one of the words in it blamed Taichi. That alone made Taichi feel like somebody had stabbed him in the chest.
* * *
It was summer. Taichi couldn’t beat Hirai in the final exams or the proficiency test on the last day of the summer study camp. Naturally, his mother was in a bad mood.
'All right, Taichi? Even if soccer club is your duty, stop everything else in the second term. I’m going to increase your cram school classes. There must be a problem with the way you’re doing things. Let’s try a one-on-one tutor who’ll tell you what’s wrong in an objective way. I’ll find a good place.’
'You want me to stop…’
Karuta, Taichi almost said.
He was sure of the reason. His mother had seen Chihaya putting the letters in the post. though Taichi had managed to clear the misunderstanding that it was a love letter, he had had to confess that it was an invitation to play karuta. He hadn’t even written a reply. He knew himself that he was escaping into his studies.
(I don’t want this to keep continuing. I don’t want to keep using studying as an excuse.)
'What?’ urged his mother.
'Quiting karuta without saying anything is like running away.’
He wanted cut off his feelings towards karuta – his feelings towards Chihaya and Arata.
(If I quit like this, I’ll keep dragging those feelings with me.)
He had decided himself to chase only one thing.
'I’ll focus on becoming first in my year at school. I’ll quit karuta to do that, so I have a request – ’
Taichi’s mother spoke without letting Taichi finish.
'If you’re going to quit, quit after winning the karuta competition.’
Those were the words Taichi had wanted to say.
-
On the same day, Taichi went to visit Harada-sensei’s clinic, which was on the second floor of an office building in the city. Harada-sensei was a general practitioner, focusing on internal medicine and paediatrics. There were no professionals in competitive karuta who had karuta as a hobby with another job, no matter how strong they were.
Timidly, Taichi went to meet Sensei ,who was organizing a medical chart. Sensei would probably be disappointed.
'Sensei, I…’
'Matsuge-kun, you’ve grown up. Are you taller now? Chihaya-chan’s the same as always though, hahaha. Everyone’s having their growth spurts.’
Taichi bit his lip. He couldn’t say anything since he hadn’t seen Chihaya. He would just tell Harada-sensei what he had come to say.
'I want to participate in the C-kyuu competition that’s coming up. The one in the scity on the autumn equinox holiday weekend.’
Harada-sensei looked happy.
'I see, I see. There’s still time to apply. I’ll deal with that right way.’
'Thank you.’
Taichi bowed and was about to turn on his heels when Harada-sensei spoke again.
'Matsuge-kun, what will you do for practice?’
'Sorry, er…’
'That morning, leave your house one hour earlier and come to my house. I’ll watch over you.’
Sensei’s eyes were warm. Taichi bowed deeply and then put the clinic behind him with a tight feeling in his chest.
-
On the morning of the C-kyuu competition, Harada-sensei just helped Taichi with his karuta as usual without asking anything. Then, when they reached the private railway station that headed to the city, Taichi saw Chihaya waiting in front of the gates. Though she looked cute out of her school uniform, Taichi knew that they weren’t Chihaya’s style. They were probably from her older sister, Chitose.
'Taichiii, you’re awful! You never reply. I’m in the competition today too, so I’ll talk to you tons!’
’… Are you participating to talk?’
'It’s fine. I’ll do my best with karuta too.’
Chihaya grabbed Taichi’s sleeve and ran up the stairs to the platform.’
'Hey, hey, Taichi. I’m looking for karuta friends at school every day.’
'If you’re searching every day, that just means you haven’t found any, right? You probably just put the cards on the floor and show them how you can pick them up with amazing speed.’
Chihaya’s shoulders slumped in disappointment.
'How’d you know? Since I’m stronger, I told them that I’d go one-to-three against them, but then they just backed off… I wonder why? The speed’s fun. I can’t have any matches at school, since once I take one or two cards, everyone leaves.’
'Ah… Of course they do. The way you focus so much that your breathing is ragged doesn’t make people think you just want to have fun with everyone. You probably just think about how fun the speed is, while nobody else thinks about wanting to become faster. Other people might think it would be more fun to play without competing, right?’
'May… be…’
'Er, no…’
Taichi wasn’t sure what to reply either. When Harada-sensei urged him to, Taichi murmured, 'Friends are necessary.’ He ended up thinking alone.
At the C-kyuu competition’s quarterfinals, Taichi and Chihaya ended up facing each other again. They were silent. They didn’t even look each other in the eyes before the match started.
(If I win the semifinals, I’ll be in B-kyuu. Chihaya wants to become stronger… Is it all right for me to get in her way, when I’m going to quit karuta?)
But Taichi wanted to win. Especially since it was the last time. He didn’t want to end this half-heartedly. Taichi intently watched Chihaya practise taking cards. Chihaya looked serious. There was sweat on her forehead.
(… Chihaya will still have chances after this. I just want her to remember that I was strong too.)
'I look forward to playing with you.’
Chihaya’s fighting will was clear as she attacked. Forced down by that vigour, Taichi ended up taking cards and losing cards.
(Twelve cards left, with all the ooyamafuda. Luckily, some of the kimariji with four and five characters were karafuda.)
The ooyamafuda that Taichi had were 'asaborake a’, 'kimi ga tame ha’ and 'wata no hara ko’. Chihaya had 'asaborake u’, 'kimi ga tame wo’ and 'wata no hara ya’.
(Since 'asa ji’ and 'kiri’ are karafuda, I need to ignore 'a’ and 'ki’ if they’re read. There were all the 'wa’s, but the two 'waga’ cards, 'wasura’ and 'wabi’ are done. 'wasure’ is in Chihaya’s right middle row.)
<wa>
Taichi aimed for Chihaya’s 'wasure’ –
<ta no>
(It’s not 'wasure’! It’s an ooyamafuda!)
Taichi hurried to protect his own 'wata no hara ko’ –
<hara ya>
Chihaya took the card in her own row. While listening to the rest of the card - <ama no tsuribune> - Chihaya put the card in the pile behind her, seeming relieved.
(My card wasn’t read… So I wasn’t lucky this time. But this might b ring the luck around. There are two ooyamafuda left –I’ll get them.)
<a>
A chain of ooyamafuda – each protected their own card.
<sabarake a>
Chihaya reached for the card Taichi was protecting, but Taichi managed to save it. Chihaya’s sigh came clearly to Taichi’s ears, as if she had let it out right beside him. The rest of the poem was read – <fureru shirayuki> - and the tensions were high as they waited for the next card.
<ki>
Again? This time, Chihaya came forward for an attack without protecting her own card. Taichi protected his card without any hesitation. With Chihaya, Taichi’s hand would be faster in an attack than Chihaya’s in a return.
<mi ga tame ha>
Taichi took the card. Though 'murasame no’ and 'se wo hayami’, cards with one kimariji, were remaining, Taichi took it from 'mu’ since two karafuda had been read. 'mu’ was an easy to understand character, so eveyrone’s responses were fast. A number of matches reached their end, changing the air of the hall. Taichi felt his shoulders grow lighter. Now, the next card.
<se>
Even among those who responded quickly, Chihaya’s hand seemed to fly out before the ’s’ of 'se’ was read.
(Damn, I can’t beat her.)
The cards that had become one character kimariji cards with that poem – 'shi’ and 'tsu’ – were also Chihaya’s.
Soon, there were only two cards left. Taichi and Chihaya each had one.
They had taken the same amount up until now, so now it was an unmeisen as to whose card would be read first. Taichi’s was 'yo no naka yo’ and Chihaya’s was 'wasureji no’.
They each protected the card in front of them and waited for it to be read. Taichi’s heart hurt from the tension, but in this moment, he had to bear with it.
<chi>
It was a karafuda – one that wasn’t in the ones they could take. The tension eased slightly. Taichi worked on recalling which cards had been read so far.
('chigiriki’… There should be no more karafuda. Only two cards left.)
Taichi noticed that their match was the only one that was still going. The cards were only being read for Taichi and Chihaya.
<sue no matsuyama
nami kosaji to wa>
(That never would the waves wash over
Sue-no-Matsu Mountain.)
The reader read the latter half of the earlier karafuda. The people who had finished their matches, the onlookers, those accompanying others – the hall, filled with people, was silent, and nobody breathed except for the reader.
'lt;yo>
Everyone there let out their breath. Taichi had his right hand covering the card.
'Thank you very much.’
Chihaya collapsed right then. Taichi froze, in a panic because of the sudden incident. Harada-sensei ran up to them and pulled Chihaya up.
'Chihaya-chan! Can you tell who it is? Chihaya-chan, what’s wrong… What, she’s just sleeping.’
'Sleeping?’
'Must have used up all her energy.’
Chihaya’s hand was still on her 'wasureji no’ card.
'An unmeisen between “yo no naka yo / michi koso nakere” and “wasureji no / yukusue made wa”… Matsuge-kun, since “yo no naka wa” was a karafuda, the kimariji became “yo no” partway through the match.’
'Yes. Since “yo mo” was also a karafuda, if it had been read earlier, Chihaya might have taken it.’
He had been lucky today… but if Taichi had to say, he felt like he was somebody who didn’t have much luck. Rather than developments like this that were down to luck at the end, he preferred winning earlier with a large difference…. (Ah, but I’m quitting.)
Taichi gritted his teeth together.
Taichi destroyed his anxious opponent during the semifinal and advanced to the final.
Chihaya appeared to revive then, but Taichi went to a place with few people that would suggest to her that he didn’t want to be talked to to avoid conversation.
(Just one more match… The last match. There are other things I have to do. Somebody I should win against… Hirai… No, myself.)
He had realised through karuta. If he didn’t win against the anxiety to win in his own heart, he would win against no one.
-
When Taichi protected the last card in his row, his opponent still had three cards.
His opponent was soaring high, since both a wind and a loss would result in advancing to B-kyuu. It seemed Taichi’s opponent thought of it as aa throwaway match. As a result, Taichi easily put a gap between him and his higher ranked opponent, who wasn’t able to bridge that gap even after becoming serious partway through.
'Taichi! You won!’
Chihaya made a large fuss, as if it was her own win. Strangely, Taichi’s heart was calm. No emotions came to him. All he saw was the straight path ahead of him where he would be bound only to studying. That was the only path in the world.
Chihaya was in high spirits.
'Taichi, Taichi, you’re amazing.’
Taichi fixed his posture and turned his knees towards Harada-sensei to bow politely.
'Thank you very much for your guidance up until now. Chihaya, I’m quitting karuta.’
Taichi could tell that Chihaya had swallowed her breath, but Taichi stood up. He left the hall alone.
MIDDLE SCHOOL EDITION – VOLUME 1
taichi’s chapter – 3
-
taichi’s chapter
yo no naka yo michi kosonakere
(within this world, there is, indeed, no path)
-
3 – onore nomi (it is I alone)
-
Hirai’s back, which had looked so large, made Taichi’s chest hurt. Taichi was troubled for several days about why the pain did not disappear and why he couldn’t look straight at Hirai.
At times like this – when he didn’t understand his relationships with other people – there were words that Taichi used to guide himself.
‘The source of the problem and the responsibility for it is never one hundred percent the other party.’
Taichi’s father had taught him that. His father was also somebody who was strict with himself – he liked the phrase 'self-improvement’.
(I’m at fault for not being able to respond to Hirai properly. Hirai’s an airhead, so I should just take what he says at face value.)
Taichi relaxed after discovering what had been wrong with himself. He could improve himself more.
(I need to tell Hirai thank you. The words 'thank you’ have a lot of value to them, so I’ll get something back. If somebody says thank you to you, you have to say thank you for the words that made you happy – giving back, as Dad used to say.)
Taichi looked for Hirai and found him practicing by himself alone against the concrete wall behind the physical course clubrooms. He threw and kicked the ball to the wall and caught tit when it returned.
Behind him, there was a fence that was painted white, probably as a stand in for a goal. It was a thin fence that you might accidentally overlook and walk right into if you weren’t careful.
Today, all the physical course members were supposed to have gone to the special facility for the affiliated university in the city. The only person by these clubrooms was Hirai.
Hirai’s forehead was sweaty as he chased the ball fervently. He was so focussed that he didn’t even notice when Taichi called his name.
(He could skip if he wanted to since nobody’s looking, but… He’s so stupidly honest.)
For some reason, Taichi felt a bit awkward. He glanced to his side and saw Hirai’s bag and a notebook with sticky notes all over it on the concrete stairs. It looked like the clubrooms were locked.
The wind blew open the notebook, flipping the pages. Hirai’s writing was squeezed tightly onto them. They were crammed in there, unlike Hirai’s neatly summarized class notes.
Written in the notebook were various practice menus, how much he’d done and his tips, and the parts that he wasn’t able to do yet.
'Drop your waist more.’ 'Weight towards your thumb, not your ankle.’ 'Side-jump then catch, roll your upper half, stop the force of the ball, drop to the ground in receiving position. Hold the ball tight to your chest – don’t forget.’ 'For high shots, jump with the closer leg – lift up the opposite leg and arm. Be careful not to jump with your right leg so that you can get better with your left!’
Every page was filled with so many words that it looked black.
(So even Hirai writes things to remember… He usually remembers with his body, but he writes this much too.)
After writing it to help him remember, he used his body to practice.
(He understands what it means to work hard too.)
The latter half of the notebook was a journal. He had the contents of each day’s practice written in detail there, noting down in red pen the people he’d seen.
There were no lies in this journal. Taichi was sure of it. Even though Hirai didn’t seen anyone today, he would probably write down what he’d practised – not for anyone else. Just for himself.
Taichi shut the notebook and let out a long sigh. He waited until Hirai’s practice ended… or he would have, if Hirai hadn’t noticed him partway through.
'Ah, Mashima-kuuun, what’s up?’
'I’m just here 7cause I had some free time.’
It was probably obvious to Hirai that there was no way Taichi had any free time. Hirai cocked his head and then looked down, thinking. Then, he smiled.
'Then would you join me in practising? I want to imagine the opponent’s shots and do cross practice. You’re still in your uniform, so it’s OK, right?’
'Yeah.’
– Today’s 'giving back’.
The two of them practised until the sun set. They also walked back on the way home to the nearest station. They talked about pointless things and both ended up smiling – it really was fun.
-
The next day, there was a lecture on classic literature. It was the hottest day so far this year. Since they were in the period of uniform change when taking off their jackets was allowed, the students were all in their dress shirts with their ties loose. There were many students who had rolled up their slives.
'Today, we will analyse the “Journey to the East” episode of Ise Monogatari. This is a particularly famous scene even within Ise Monogatari.’
At the lectern in the third lecture room, Fujiwara-sensei spoke in a sonorant voice.
’“In the past, there was a man. This man was convinced that his existence was meaningless and that he was not needed by anyone. He did not want to be in the city any longer, so he left on a journey to find a place to live in the east.” This man is Ariwara Narihira. Searching for himself, escaping from reality, running away from human relationships because of his own thoughts – ’
Taichi was given a start at the words 'convinced that his existence was meaningless’. Harada-sensei’s words suddenly echoed again in his ears.
– ’“It is I alone”. Even though the speaker is thinking about someone else, that someone feels nothing. That’s the meaning of the poem. A card to remember for going against the wind and crying out, “Only me!”’
Taichi glanced at Hirai beside him. He was taking notes in one notebook while also studying English in the notebook underneath it.
(It’s unusual for Hirai not to be paying attention in the lecture. Did he forget his homework?)
Taichi gave into his curiosity and peeked at what Hirai was studying.
(Eh… That has to be second or third-year level.)
On top of that, Taichi could see a bruise through the gap left by the cuff in Hirai’s sleeve. It had been unbuttoned in the heat.
(Did he hit something? I don’t think it was yesterday… Yeah, I don’t remember seeing it. This morning, maybe?)
After the lecture finished, it was lunch break. When Taichi stood up, he didn’t miss how the English notebook that Hirai quickly shut away had somebody else’s name on it. He also didn’t miss that it was the name of a third-year student in the physical course.
'What are you doing, Hirai? Whose is that?’
Taichi took a challenging tone without thinking.
'E-er, an upperclassman asked me to help with his homework… since he had his hands full with the match yesterday.’
'And that bruise on your arm?’
Taichi suddenly imagined an upperclassman grabbing Hirai’s arm and forcing him to do his homework.
'This? Ah, I just run into a lot of things. Nobody did this to me.’
(Would you normally go out of your way to say 'Nobody did this to me’?)
'There wasn’t a bruise a yesterday. Did you practise this morning?’
Hirai nodded without hesitation.
'Even if that’s where the bruise is from… why are you doing somebody else’s homework? It’s strange.’
'Ehh? Is it really that strange?’
To Taichi, it looked like Hirai was playing dumb.
'Give it to me.’
Taichi snatched the homework notebook.
'I-it’s fine. It’s got nothing to do with you!’
'Let’s go to the library. It’s quiet. We’ll eat later. If you have any other ones, be honest and take them out.’
'Mashima-kun… why…’
Hirai looked troubled. Neither of them wanted to be pitied, Taichi realised.
'What, you’re not going to say “Thanks!” and smile like always?’
'Urgh… sorry, thanks…’
'You don’t have to say thanks. Just leave it at “Why”!’
With fuzzy feelings, Tiachi started to do the homework of a complete stranger.
* * *
From the next day on, with the midterms approaching, the university course clubs entered their pre-exam break. Perhaps because of the coming rainy season, a light rain was coming down on the newly sprouted plants. The rain hitting the fresh leaves continued to grow stronger.
Taichi, who was studying in the library, was told by the librarian that it was closing time.
He decided to go home quickly to finish the rest of his review problems and took the shortcut to the school gates through the sports ground even though his shoes might get dirty.
'Eh? … What’s that guy doing?’
Hirai was cleaning up the grounds in the rain. He had two buckets, picking up small rocks from the ground in one and filling up puddles with the dirt in the other.
'You’re soaked. Why are you doing this on a rainy day?’
Taichi had heard that the physical course clubs only had a day off right before exams. As long as university course students were in a physical course club, they weren’t exempt.
'I feel cold just watching you. Just get it over with.’
When Hirai looked away, Taichi understood. There were a number of buckets under the roof of the tool shed. Taichi walked up in them and peeked inside – they were filled with rocks. Beside them, there were more empty buckets in a pile. When Taichi opened the tool shed door, there were buckets filled with dirt.
’… Can you not leave until you’ve filled all the empty buckets with rocks?’
Even if the sun did set late in May, there was no way that somebody could finish this alone before night.
'Are you an idiot? … You, and the people who made you do it.’
Hirai had been doing somebody else’s homework. This was probably an unreasonable order by an upperclassman.
Hirai silently continued his work.
'You accepted it, so deal with it somehow. You’ll get a cold.’
Forgetting about other people’s homework for now, Taichi didn’t want to get a cold from the rain. If he got a fever now, he wouldn’t be able to study for the tests.
'Even you might make a mistake on the tests if you caught a cold.’
Raindrops dripped from Hirai’s hair down his cheeks. His jersey was soaked too, sticking to his slender body.
'Screw up, screw up. Catch a cold and screw up.’
Taichi looked away from Hirai and tried to leave. His heart was pounding. He tripped on a bucket of small rocks.
'Ah.’
When Taichi tried to put the bucket back in its place, it was heavier than he expected.
'This is heavy… Even though this doesn’t have anything to do with me, it’s pretty awful.’
As Taichi tried to leave, his heart started pounding more loudly. He had done something similar before. Because he’d thought he couldn’t win… he had done something awful.
– 'Mashima, you’re a coward.’
Arata’s voice… Taichi could hear it clearly.
(I’m still as uncool as I was before. Just as uncool and disgraceful as when I stole Arata’s glasses before the match even though he can’t see anything without them, since I knew I couldn’t beat him in karuta… I haven’t changed at all.)
'Doing that… doesn’t count as a win.’
If Taichi left now, he would be as awful as the upperclassmen from the physical course.
Taichi took off the top half of his uniform as well as his tie. After putting them along with his bag in the tool shed, he put down the bucket, kicked his way through some puddles and ran towards Hirai.
'Hey, Hirai. I’ll help so let’s get this over with quickly. You’ll catch a cold.’
'Mashima-kun… It’s fine. It’s my job.’
'You get stuck doing these things 'cause you just do them without saying anything. The physical course guys do some awful things.’
'Physical course and university course – that’s got nothing to do with it. It’s because I’m the newbie.’
Unexpectedly, Hirai was smiling.
'I’m happy that I’m not being treated differently. Nobody puts me at a distance. They’re really strict with me during practice when I can’t do something too.’
'Are you a masochist? It’s just because you could do anything up until now even without anyone being strict with ou – you’re just happy 'cause it’s rare for you to be told off. You really are a strange guy.’
'Yup, this is better than being ignored. Better than being left outside of the circle. Much better than running away without actually competing.’
Taichi looked down, pretending to pick up stones as he hid his face. His chest stung.
(I can’t run. With Hirai… it’s not winning or losing. I can’t run.)
'Mashima-kuuun… thanks. Really. Don’t overdo it!)
'If you have the time to talk, hurry up and get this done.’
'OK!’
-
The next day, when Taichi went through the school gates in the morning, he saw physical course students in a crowd at the front, making a front. When Taichi tried to walk past them, just thinking they were in the way, he heard their conversation.
'Cleaning up the ground now?’
'The first-year in the soccer club that came in from the university course – ’
A chill ran down Taichi’s spine and he listened in carefully.
'He didn’t have to do it in the rain.’
(Yesterday… was that bad?)
'Right now, he’s explaining himself to the other guys in the soccer club.’
The bruise on Hirai’s wrist flashed through Taichi’s mind. Maybe he was being blamed because Taichi had gone and helped him.
(This is bad for Hirai.)
People that looked like members of the physical course soccer club were surrounding somebody on the pitch that Taichi had worked on yesterday. The black head he saw in the middle…
'Hirai!’
(Hirai tried so hard – what problem do you have with him!?)
Taichi forced his way through the crowd to stand beside Hirai.
’… Mashima-kun!?’
In a low, intimidating voice, Taichi said, 'You still want to make Hirai do more? I think giving somebody ridiculous orders without letting them say anything is a human rights problem.’
'Mashima… is this the guy?’
The large-framed upperclassmen nodded at each other and then looked exasperated.
'Mashima, what are you saying? Did Hirai ask you to help? Was he crying about how troubled he was?’
'Th… that’s…’
It was true that Hirai had only said things like 'It’s fine – it’s got nothing to do with you’ and 'It’s my job’.
'I just thought he was holding back because he didn’t want to trouble me…’
'And you just meddled without listening to Hirai. Hirai’s been advancing – trying his best to get along with the club.’
Taichi couldn’t object.
'Nobody’s forcing him to do anything. The only reason he didn’t stop in the rain was his own will.’
Hirai, who had been astonished, came back to his senses and tried to stop Taichi, but Taichi held him back.
'Then what about that bruise on his arm…’
The upperclassmen looked at each other, confused, and then they nodded in comprehension.
'Oh, the one from when he hit the frame used for the goal post after catching the ball? We told him to take a break and ice it, but he practices hard even from the morning.’
(Frame… Come to think of it, there was something like that.)
While Taichi was thinking, an upperclassman said, 'Got it?’ Then, they tried to leave.
'Wait. You really – ’
'Mashima-kun, wait – you’ve misunderstood. the upperclassmen are going to help me do what we didn’t finish yesterday.’
’… Eh?’
Taichi turned to look at where Hirai was pointing and saw the club members coming out of the tool shed with buckets.
'When they came in the morning, they thought it was strange 'cause more holes than they’d expected had been filled up and the buckets were also filled with rocks, even though it was raining, so I explained the situation to them and then…’
'What, you aren’t being bullied or something?’
'I’m not! Though everyone said you were meddlesome just now, that was praise. They admired you. Otherwise, the captain wouldn’t’ve said that they were all going to do the rest this morning.’
'Then what aobut the homework and the bruise…’
'For the homework, I was just looking over one of the upperclassmen’s notebooks since the notes were a mess – he’d taken a nap since he was so tired. I was so happy when they asked me for help. For the homework, I just took it because I heard one of them say that he’d rather sleep than do it. I thought that if I wrote how to do the problems then it could be a good reference for them.’
'You wouldn’t normally take up someone’s homework… And what, you were happy to be relied on?’
'Yup!’
Hirai’s innocent smile made Taichi feel exhausted. He crouched down, even though the wet ground would make his trousers dirt.
'Are you serious…’
Just as the club members said, it appeared that the bruise had also come from practice.
'Then say it more clearly! I was worried!’
'Sooorry. I was so happy, so I just ended up letting you keep going.’
Hirai ran a hand through his hair in an embarrassed manner, making his bed head even worse.
'Sorry to make you misunderstand, Mashima-kuuun.’
’… Ah… hahaha… hahahahahaha!’
All Taichi could do in the face of Hirai’s kindness was laugh. He almost fell over in laughter when he thought about his own stupid kindness.
'Hey, Mashima-kun, I’m really really happy that you came here for me – I’m sorry I made you misunderstand, but I’m seriously grateful! Thanks for misunderstanding.’
Taichi stood up and hugged Hirai’s shoulder. He was still laughing. Hirai started laughing as well.
-
Then… Hirai beat Taichi again with a one-point difference during the midterms. Just as Taichi had let out a sigh, looking at the posted results, Hirai patted him on the shoulder.
'When I tried my hardest, I feel like I’ve come to understand a bit… Because I’m in a club, I don’t have as much time to look over my notes. I’m sleepy since I’m so tired, so it’s hard for me to concentrate.’
Hirai laughed, sounding embarrassed.
'I feel like I understand what everyone’s “hard work” a little bit better… Though maybe I don’t understand it, I’ve had a taste of it. I’ve got to try harder.’
Taichi used his fist to jab Hirai’s side.
'I seriously hate you…’
Hirai looked at Taichi with a troubled expression.
'I really love you though!’
The students surrounding them stopped to look at them, so Taichi ran off.
-
After Taichi returned home and was scolded by his mother – 'Second place again?’ – he wrote the word 'Focus’ with big strokes on a piece of paper in his room.
'It’s impossible to chase perfection in everything. If I have to become first place… I’ll just focus on getting past Hirai.’
If Taichi took a break from karuta, he wouldn’t be able to meet Chihaya. His promise with Arata also… but Hirai was too large in front of Taichi. He couldn’t advance while avoiding Hirai.
Taichi thought about putting up the piece of paper, but he decided not to and shut it in his drawer. He felt like he would feel satisfied just from looking at the word if he put it up.
* * *
It was July. According to the weather forecast, it would soon be the end of the rainy season, but the rain was incredibly heavy at this time.
On the train that Taichi took to school in the morning, he saw the news flash by on the screen above the door: 'Rainy season causes heavy rain in Fukui, Kyoto and Hyogo.’
'Rainy in Fukui… Hope nothing bad happens.’
Taichi was startled when he suddenly heard a familiar way of speaking. He looked for the speaker without thinking. It was a young man’s voice… but not Arata. The man was probably also from Fukui.
(Arata… He’s probably playing karuta. I wonder if his grandfather’s feeling better…)
They had a Classical Literature lecture that day as well. In the third lecture room, Fujiwara-sensei spoke about Ise Monogatari.
'Today, we will analyse the “mekaru tomo” episode. This episode is also called. “uruwashiki tomo”. “mekaru tomo” is written with the characters that mean you’ve lost sight of something, and the phrase means that though we can’t meet since we are far apart, while “uruwashiki” is written with the character for beautiful… A beautiful friend means a very important close friend. “In the past, a man had a close friend. They were always together and spent their days together fondly, but his close friend left the land. It was a very sad farewell.”’
(Urgh… Why is it a story like this now?)
– Arata crying, 'We probably won’t see each other again.’ Chihaya saying, 'We’ll see each other again – definitely.’
(She probably meant that we would meet at a competition if we continued karuta and became stronger… Why does Chihaya care so much… about seeing Arata again with karuta…)
The rain quietly hit the ground outside the window as the lecture continued.
’“It is probably a law of the world that being able to see someone means that you will forget.” The close friend sent a letter like this after a long silence, so he replied like this. “I haven’t thought about not being able to meet, since I always remember you, unable to forget.” Yes… there was a waka like this in the Hyakunin Isshu.
“tachiwakare
inaba no yama no
mine ni ouru – ”
(Even if I depart
and go to Inaba Mountain
on whose peak grow – )
'Mashima-kun?’
'matsutoshi kikaba
ima kaeri kon.’
(pines, if I hear you pine for me,
I will return straightaway to you.)
Taichi ended up responding instinctively once called. The kimariji 'tachi’ was for the card 'matsuto’.
'Correct. That’s Mashima-kun for you. Were you listening carefully?’
'Eh? E-er…’
'Or did you remember somebody that you can’t forget?’
When Taichi went bright red, everyone burst out laughing. Somebody called out, 'Is it a girl?’
'It’s a guy!’
That just made everyone laugh harder.
'This poem was written by Narihira’s older brother, Yukihira. Yukihira moved as a government official to Inaba – the current Tottori Prefecture. When he left the people in the capital, he said this poem. “If I hear that you are waiting, I will come home straightaway.” Even though he wouldn’t have actually been able to do that, he made a promise with those feelings – that he wanted to return no matter what to this person… That person does not have to be a woman. The friend he was so close to may have been male.’
(So that’s the meaning of the 'tachi’ card…)
'The poems in Ise Monogatari and this poem too – in this time when people might have to wait dozens of days for letters to come, since they didn'th ave emails and phones like we have now, farewells were much more painful – ’
Fujiwara-sensei wrote 'The pain of bidding a close friend farewell’ on the board and then continued his lecture.
(“I haven’t thought about not being able to meet, since I always remember you, unable to forget.”)
Taichi reread the words he had written in his notebook. Distance didn’t matter if you were thinking of someone, whether they were very far away or in the seat beside you…
-
As Taichi went home in the rain, he saw a thick letter stuck in the postbox by the door. Half of it was sticking out, wet with the rain. Taichi pulled it out and saw just the words 'To Taichi’ for the address. On the back, it said 'From Chihaya’ – it looked like she had put it in the postbox herself.
'Chihaya… If you need something, call… but I guess she can’t, since Mum would hang up on her… I have a mobile, but… I haven’t told her my number or my email address… and I don’t think she has a mobile anyway.’
That was why she’d sent a letter. they couldn7t contact each other easily, even though they lived close b y.
'Ha, she’s probably just writing to tell me to play karuta. I can tell without reading it.’
Taichi went to his room and then opened the letter without even changing out of his uniform. It was a very long letter.
'I heard there was heavy rain in Fukui, but I wonder if Arata’s OK. You’re worried too, right? You haven’t forgotten about Arata and karuta, right? I won the D-kyuu competition at the beginning of June, so I’m the same as you now, Taichi. C-kyuu. I’m going to become stronger.
'After I told Harada-sensei I wanted to become stronger, he invited me to the competition in Kyoto at the end of June, but Sensei was going to some study thing and Mum was busy going to Okinawa with my sister for a shoot, so I gave up, since I couldn’t go alone.’
Though the letter was long, not one of the words in it blamed Taichi. That alone made Taichi feel like somebody had stabbed him in the chest.
* * *
It was summer. Taichi couldn’t beat Hirai in the final exams or the proficiency test on the last day of the summer study camp. Naturally, his mother was in a bad mood.
'All right, Taichi? Even if soccer club is your duty, stop everything else in the second term. I’m going to increase your cram school classes. There must be a problem with the way you’re doing things. Let’s try a one-on-one tutor who’ll tell you what’s wrong in an objective way. I’ll find a good place.’
'You want me to stop…’
Karuta, Taichi almost said.
He was sure of the reason. His mother had seen Chihaya putting the letters in the post. though Taichi had managed to clear the misunderstanding that it was a love letter, he had had to confess that it was an invitation to play karuta. He hadn’t even written a reply. He knew himself that he was escaping into his studies.
(I don’t want this to keep continuing. I don’t want to keep using studying as an excuse.)
'What?’ urged his mother.
'Quiting karuta without saying anything is like running away.’
He wanted cut off his feelings towards karuta – his feelings towards Chihaya and Arata.
(If I quit like this, I’ll keep dragging those feelings with me.)
He had decided himself to chase only one thing.
'I’ll focus on becoming first in my year at school. I’ll quit karuta to do that, so I have a request – ’
Taichi’s mother spoke without letting Taichi finish.
'If you’re going to quit, quit after winning the karuta competition.’
Those were the words Taichi had wanted to say.
-
On the same day, Taichi went to visit Harada-sensei’s clinic, which was on the second floor of an office building in the city. Harada-sensei was a general practitioner, focusing on internal medicine and paediatrics. There were no professionals in competitive karuta who had karuta as a hobby with another job, no matter how strong they were.
Timidly, Taichi went to meet Sensei ,who was organizing a medical chart. Sensei would probably be disappointed.
'Sensei, I…’
'Matsuge-kun, you’ve grown up. Are you taller now? Chihaya-chan’s the same as always though, hahaha. Everyone’s having their growth spurts.’
Taichi bit his lip. He couldn’t say anything since he hadn’t seen Chihaya. He would just tell Harada-sensei what he had come to say.
'I want to participate in the C-kyuu competition that’s coming up. The one in the scity on the autumn equinox holiday weekend.’
Harada-sensei looked happy.
'I see, I see. There’s still time to apply. I’ll deal with that right way.’
'Thank you.’
Taichi bowed and was about to turn on his heels when Harada-sensei spoke again.
'Matsuge-kun, what will you do for practice?’
'Sorry, er…’
'That morning, leave your house one hour earlier and come to my house. I’ll watch over you.’
Sensei’s eyes were warm. Taichi bowed deeply and then put the clinic behind him with a tight feeling in his chest.
-
On the morning of the C-kyuu competition, Harada-sensei just helped Taichi with his karuta as usual without asking anything. Then, when they reached the private railway station that headed to the city, Taichi saw Chihaya waiting in front of the gates. Though she looked cute out of her school uniform, Taichi knew that they weren’t Chihaya’s style. They were probably from her older sister, Chitose.
'Taichiii, you’re awful! You never reply. I’m in the competition today too, so I’ll talk to you tons!’
’… Are you participating to talk?’
'It’s fine. I’ll do my best with karuta too.’
Chihaya grabbed Taichi’s sleeve and ran up the stairs to the platform.’
'Hey, hey, Taichi. I’m looking for karuta friends at school every day.’
'If you’re searching every day, that just means you haven’t found any, right? You probably just put the cards on the floor and show them how you can pick them up with amazing speed.’
Chihaya’s shoulders slumped in disappointment.
'How’d you know? Since I’m stronger, I told them that I’d go one-to-three against them, but then they just backed off… I wonder why? The speed’s fun. I can’t have any matches at school, since once I take one or two cards, everyone leaves.’
'Ah… Of course they do. The way you focus so much that your breathing is ragged doesn’t make people think you just want to have fun with everyone. You probably just think about how fun the speed is, while nobody else thinks about wanting to become faster. Other people might think it would be more fun to play without competing, right?’
'May… be…’
'Er, no…’
Taichi wasn’t sure what to reply either. When Harada-sensei urged him to, Taichi murmured, 'Friends are necessary.’ He ended up thinking alone.
At the C-kyuu competition’s quarterfinals, Taichi and Chihaya ended up facing each other again. They were silent. They didn’t even look each other in the eyes before the match started.
(If I win the semifinals, I’ll be in B-kyuu. Chihaya wants to become stronger… Is it all right for me to get in her way, when I’m going to quit karuta?)
But Taichi wanted to win. Especially since it was the last time. He didn’t want to end this half-heartedly. Taichi intently watched Chihaya practise taking cards. Chihaya looked serious. There was sweat on her forehead.
(… Chihaya will still have chances after this. I just want her to remember that I was strong too.)
'I look forward to playing with you.’
Chihaya’s fighting will was clear as she attacked. Forced down by that vigour, Taichi ended up taking cards and losing cards.
(Twelve cards left, with all the ooyamafuda. Luckily, some of the kimariji with four and five characters were karafuda.)
The ooyamafuda that Taichi had were 'asaborake a’, 'kimi ga tame ha’ and 'wata no hara ko’. Chihaya had 'asaborake u’, 'kimi ga tame wo’ and 'wata no hara ya’.
(Since 'asa ji’ and 'kiri’ are karafuda, I need to ignore 'a’ and 'ki’ if they’re read. There were all the 'wa’s, but the two 'waga’ cards, 'wasura’ and 'wabi’ are done. 'wasure’ is in Chihaya’s right middle row.)
<wa>
Taichi aimed for Chihaya’s 'wasure’ –
<ta no>
(It’s not 'wasure’! It’s an ooyamafuda!)
Taichi hurried to protect his own 'wata no hara ko’ –
<hara ya>
Chihaya took the card in her own row. While listening to the rest of the card - <ama no tsuribune> - Chihaya put the card in the pile behind her, seeming relieved.
(My card wasn’t read… So I wasn’t lucky this time. But this might b ring the luck around. There are two ooyamafuda left –I’ll get them.)
<a>
A chain of ooyamafuda – each protected their own card.
<sabarake a>
Chihaya reached for the card Taichi was protecting, but Taichi managed to save it. Chihaya’s sigh came clearly to Taichi’s ears, as if she had let it out right beside him. The rest of the poem was read – <fureru shirayuki> - and the tensions were high as they waited for the next card.
<ki>
Again? This time, Chihaya came forward for an attack without protecting her own card. Taichi protected his card without any hesitation. With Chihaya, Taichi’s hand would be faster in an attack than Chihaya’s in a return.
<mi ga tame ha>
Taichi took the card. Though 'murasame no’ and 'se wo hayami’, cards with one kimariji, were remaining, Taichi took it from 'mu’ since two karafuda had been read. 'mu’ was an easy to understand character, so eveyrone’s responses were fast. A number of matches reached their end, changing the air of the hall. Taichi felt his shoulders grow lighter. Now, the next card.
<se>
Even among those who responded quickly, Chihaya’s hand seemed to fly out before the ’s’ of 'se’ was read.
(Damn, I can’t beat her.)
The cards that had become one character kimariji cards with that poem – 'shi’ and 'tsu’ – were also Chihaya’s.
Soon, there were only two cards left. Taichi and Chihaya each had one.
They had taken the same amount up until now, so now it was an unmeisen as to whose card would be read first. Taichi’s was 'yo no naka yo’ and Chihaya’s was 'wasureji no’.
They each protected the card in front of them and waited for it to be read. Taichi’s heart hurt from the tension, but in this moment, he had to bear with it.
<chi>
It was a karafuda – one that wasn’t in the ones they could take. The tension eased slightly. Taichi worked on recalling which cards had been read so far.
('chigiriki’… There should be no more karafuda. Only two cards left.)
Taichi noticed that their match was the only one that was still going. The cards were only being read for Taichi and Chihaya.
<sue no matsuyama
nami kosaji to wa>
(That never would the waves wash over
Sue-no-Matsu Mountain.)
The reader read the latter half of the earlier karafuda. The people who had finished their matches, the onlookers, those accompanying others – the hall, filled with people, was silent, and nobody breathed except for the reader.
'lt;yo>
Everyone there let out their breath. Taichi had his right hand covering the card.
'Thank you very much.’
Chihaya collapsed right then. Taichi froze, in a panic because of the sudden incident. Harada-sensei ran up to them and pulled Chihaya up.
'Chihaya-chan! Can you tell who it is? Chihaya-chan, what’s wrong… What, she’s just sleeping.’
'Sleeping?’
'Must have used up all her energy.’
Chihaya’s hand was still on her 'wasureji no’ card.
'An unmeisen between “yo no naka yo / michi koso nakere” and “wasureji no / yukusue made wa”… Matsuge-kun, since “yo no naka wa” was a karafuda, the kimariji became “yo no” partway through the match.’
'Yes. Since “yo mo” was also a karafuda, if it had been read earlier, Chihaya might have taken it.’
He had been lucky today… but if Taichi had to say, he felt like he was somebody who didn’t have much luck. Rather than developments like this that were down to luck at the end, he preferred winning earlier with a large difference…. (Ah, but I’m quitting.)
Taichi gritted his teeth together.
Taichi destroyed his anxious opponent during the semifinal and advanced to the final.
Chihaya appeared to revive then, but Taichi went to a place with few people that would suggest to her that he didn’t want to be talked to to avoid conversation.
(Just one more match… The last match. There are other things I have to do. Somebody I should win against… Hirai… No, myself.)
He had realised through karuta. If he didn’t win against the anxiety to win in his own heart, he would win against no one.
-
When Taichi protected the last card in his row, his opponent still had three cards.
His opponent was soaring high, since both a wind and a loss would result in advancing to B-kyuu. It seemed Taichi’s opponent thought of it as aa throwaway match. As a result, Taichi easily put a gap between him and his higher ranked opponent, who wasn’t able to bridge that gap even after becoming serious partway through.
'Taichi! You won!’
Chihaya made a large fuss, as if it was her own win. Strangely, Taichi’s heart was calm. No emotions came to him. All he saw was the straight path ahead of him where he would be bound only to studying. That was the only path in the world.
Chihaya was in high spirits.
'Taichi, Taichi, you’re amazing.’
Taichi fixed his posture and turned his knees towards Harada-sensei to bow politely.
'Thank you very much for your guidance up until now. Chihaya, I’m quitting karuta.’
Taichi could tell that Chihaya had swallowed her breath, but Taichi stood up. He left the hall alone.
