The End - Shouta - June
The one who proposed that we went to the baseball field was none other than Yokoyama.
Our catcher, one who usually would give up right after being declined with one shake of the head, was uncharacteristically stubborn for just today; he dragged all of the third years along to sneak into the field late at night.
"Well then, let us commence the Jousei High School Baseball Club Retirement Ceremony. Salutations."
As if Yokoyama's opening speech was a cue, four third-year students, all empty-handed, shuffled into their positions. At the shortstop was Sasai, in jeans; running to the center field was Okamoto, in a sleeveless shirt; and stepping on to the pitcher's mound was me, in sandals.
"First, Catcher, Yokoyama-kun."
Yokoyama, in shorts, called read out his own name, then got in the batter's box. Pretending to grip his bat firmly, he then swung at the air.
"Bring it, Ogawa!"
Yokoyama thrusted his finger, pointing at a spot above Okamoto, at just about around the Murai Clinic sign. Looks like an announcement that he's going for a home run. I sent a signal of denial to the imaginary catcher twice, then raised my right hand that I pretended to hold a ball with, then swung the arm with all my strength. The course was perfect. However,
"KAKI~~N!"
Yokoyama's swing, which should have completely missed its mark, caught my winning pitch in dead center, easily sending it flying to the upper tier of the stands, between the left and center fielders.
"How 'bout that, Ogawa? I hit it over the electronic scoreboard!"
To correct him, it was out of the field; a home run.
"Alright, I'm up next. Second, Shortstop, Sasai-kun. It's a challenge, Ogawa!"
Sasai hurried from the shortstop and knocked my full-power straight pitch, knocking it leftwards off the field. Then came Okamoto, who easily knocked my pitch rightwards off the field.
It's all me who was faced with the nightmare of giving away three home runs in a row.
"Alright, next up is Shouta. C'mon, c'mon, bring it on, Public Pitcher. I'll show you the power of the Monster Rookie!"
I cornered Okamoto, who played the role of Kawakita, by racking up three strikes on him, and then another three by pitching knuckleballs.
"A~ah... So hot, so tired~~"
While wiping the sweat off his forehead, Sasai threw himself down in the middle of the baseball diamond.
"Man~ I thought it looked stupid at first, but it's pretty damn fun once you actually to do it."
"Yeah, we even did it another four times. I totally understand how our Senpais felt now."
Okamoto nodded as he laid down on his back beside Sasai. Sasai slapped my ankle, as if telling me to lay myself down as well.
"See, didn't I say it'll be great? The Retirement Ceremony, I mean."
I laid myself down, and lying next to me was Yokoyama, arms and legs outstretched like a starfish.
That's right, that was the Retirement Ceremony, a tradition passed down in the Jousei High School Baseball Club. The third-years who are about to retire from the club are to gather in the field at night, then play air baseball while impersonating the team that drove them to retirement. A little ritual for us, an unremarkable team of an unremarkable school.
Well, I'm calling it a field, but it's actually just an ordinary fenced school yard, with no mound nor bases. And the drainage is so awful that when it rains, the water would well up like a river. Every day in this yard is a turf war, with us against the other clubs like the soccer team or the volleyball team. But even so, we continued pursuing the path of the white ball with all our hearts.
"They were real tough, huh... Hayami Commerce..."
"Koshien seems so far away..."
To Sasai's mutters, Okamoto muttered in response.
[WE'RE GOING TO KOSHIEN!]
One sudden day, our manager excitedly wrote as such on the club room's walls with black ink. Although no one in the club took those words seriously, there was also no one who dared to erase them off, even though they could be easily rubbed off with some water.
And so, from that day on, they became somewhat of a buzzword among the members.
Things like, "Hey, push it! You're going to Koshien, right!?" or "Hey, hey! You're going to Koshien with those sloppy skills!?"; jokes that would make one feel embarrassed and itchy on the inside. But even so, those words would build up more and more heat each time they have been said, and before we even realized, it became an inextinguishable flame in our hearts.
"C'mon, we did great. Stopped the Hayami from getting a called game, you know."
"That's right. It's all thanks to our Captain here. Yeah, Ace?"
Oh, shut it-- Was what I intended to communicate as I jokingly kicked Okamoto at his foot.
"Still, I really wanted to go... To Koshien..."
"Koshien, the Promised Land, huh..."
To another one of Sasai's grumbles, Okamoto muttered once again in response.
"Sorry."
Yokoyama said in a whisper which only I could her.
Oh c'mon, don't say that-- I knocked on my right-hand man's shoulder with my left fist. I intended to encourage him, but Yokoyama stayed silent. Maybe I used the wrong hand? I've never been good at being considerate, too...
For a while, we lied down on the field, spending the time in silence. Each one of us reminisced about our past three years, picturing them on the night sky.
Koshien, the Promised Land... It's not that I was looking to be promised such a definite thing. All I wanted was...
Right then--
"Hey! What do you think you're doing there!?"
A shout of anger echoed through the field.
Oh crap, it's a teacher-- Was what no one thought. Our school doesn't have any guards on night shift, and the voice wasn't even that of an adult.
"Me~h, what killjoys. Could anyone at least pretend to be surprised?"
That forced deep voice was so ridiculous that it even sounded cute.
"But seriously, you all really did it... That ritual."
Not at all successful in her prank, the short-haired girl in shorts dragged her heels toward us.
"Anyways, please be more mindful of laying waste to the field. It's us second-years who did the clean-ups, you know."
Urahara Mei kicked down her bicycle's stand, put her hands on her hips, then knit her brows, in a demeanor befitting her nickname of Demon Manager.
...That's coming you, who brought a bicycle down to the field? Her stance was so daunting that no one dared to give such a retort.
"Dammit. That's dirty, Ogawa! Placing landmines on the batter's box 'cause you can't beat me... But I won't lose! I'll hit them off the field, no matter how many you throw at me!"
Sasai stood in the batter's box, panting heavily, seeming half-dead.
"...Don't you feel empty on the inside at all, doing things like this?"
Leaning on a horizontal metal bar, Mei directed a cold gaze at the other three, who were still playing air baseball.
"You'd think we do if you're just watching. It's surprisingly addicting once you get to try it."
I answered, while fluttering my T-shirt's collar to let air in.
"That was unexpected."
"Huh?"
As our eyes met, Mei promptly turned away.
"Well, you don't really give off the impression that you'd do something like this, Senpai. Unlike the other three."
"Impression?"
"How should I say it... Well... you're cool and all."
"Cool, huh."
"What're you laughing at?"
"No I wasn't."
Without leaving a pause open, Mei took a glance at me. I hurriedly looked up at the sky, so as to not let her see the grin painted on my face. The rainy season's clouds further darkened the already dark sky. The night breeze, packed with June's humidity, did nothing to help dry our sweaty bodies, but rather soaked them up even more. But strangely, I didn't feel hot at all. Perhaps this year's summer won't be hot either. Or, by any chance, for the rest of my life...
"So, your baseball career is over..."
Mei suddenly spoke up.
"Sure did."
"You're going to University, right, Takamura-senpai?"
"...Yeah."
--Takamura. Every underclassman would just call me Shouta-senpai, except Mei, who's too stubborn to stop calling me by my family name no matter how many times I told her to.
"You're awesome, Senpai. Being able to balance your studies and club activities. You don't even go to cram school, right?"
"No time for that, you see. Since I'm also doing club, mail tutoring service is the most I can take."
"I can't even deal with one thing at a time, really."
"It's not like I'm having an easy time here either, you know."
"Please-fully-concentrate-on-your-studies-from-now-on."
What's with the monotone recitation? Mei's face had no suggestion whatsoever that she's prepared to cheer anyone on. She poked her index finger under the damp earth, dug up a pebble, then proceeded to turn over the soil under her feet.
"I'm going to be direct; I wasn't cheering for you on your studies at all, Senpai."
Nope, that was quite a detour right there.
"I'd thought you would keep on playing baseball, you see."
"By keep on playing, you mean until fall?"
"No. Forever, and ever, and ever."
Forever...?
"Hy~yup."
Mei suddenly stood up, then flung the pebble away with all her might. From the soccer club's weather-beaten goal post at the opposite side of the field, a dry noise resounded.
"Say that it's your way to study for the exams, go crazy at the fall season games, get into a university by recommendation, then conquer the Big 6."
"The Big 6, huh."
"Not only that. Rank in the top three in the draft and go pro, get discouraged by all the difficulties during the first professional year, then switch to being a curveball pitcher in the second. Enter the rotation in the third, go on to be the winning pitcher two times in a row during the fourth to the sixth, then blast off to the Major League after you've done all you can in the seventh!"
While she was saying that, Mei must have been excited as if it was definitely going to happen. She sprang up and held on to the metal bar.
"Even Major, huh?"
"You're laughing again."
With what you're saying, of course I am.
"Takamura-senpai."
"I mean-- sorry. It looks like you've been more serious than even me when it comes to my baseball career, Mei."
"Huh? W-- Well, of course. I'm the manager girl, after all."
Mei, seemingly embarrassed, wobbled as she dangled on the metal bar.
"I just like to think about that kind of thing. Like, it makes me feel all fired up, you see."
...You know, it looks like you have a lot of talent in air baseball.
"Don't you think about those kinds of things at all, Senpai? Like, what if you got to step up the Koshien mound, or what if your name was on the draft?"
"Nope, I don't."
"You're lying. You must've thought about them at least once. Please confess all of them."
"I really don't."
"If you plan on playing dumb, I'll give you an O-Guruma throw followed by a dropkick."
"Stop it already."
In this case, Mei could actually do it. And that's what makes it scary.
"Now, now, spit them all out~~ Your shameful delusions, Senpai~~ It's throw and a dropkick if you don't~~ Right at your neck~~"
Mei grinned widely as she got into stance, ready for an O-Guruma throw.
"Hey, I wasn't lying. I really never thought about those things. I've never had any kind of clear goal when playing baseball, you see. In the end, I'm still not sure why I was playing baseball, even."
"...What's up with that?"
Mei suddenly froze in place.
...I said too much. I regretted it, but it was too late.
"It's nothing. Nothing to be curious about."
"Of course I'm curious. Please tell me about it, Takamura-senpai."
"It's not that big of a deal, really."
"That's for me to judge."
Dodging questions never works when faced with the Demon Manager, the pride and joy of the Jousei High School Baseball Club. Dangling from the metal bar, Mei kept still as she stared down at me.
"Uh, well, I'm not sure how I should say it..."
I have no confidence that I'll be able to convey it well, but as things are, I'll probably get sent flying for real, so for now I'll just say what words I can put together.
"The reason I started playing baseball in the first place was to fill a gap, you see."
"Gap...?"
Looks like I got it wrong right from the start. Mei now has a stern expression on her face.
"Uh-- Calling it a gap might be exaggerating, but I used to be really shy, you see. I was always holed up at home. I was really bad at holding conversations, and also at communicating my emotions over..."
"Not like you're that good at it now though."
Mei said, still dangling from the metal bar.
"Probably, yeah. So, my old man was worried about me, so he took me outside and taught me to play baseball."
Even now, I remember it clearly. The small park behind my apartment. My baseball career began there.
"And so baseball opened up a whole new world for me, just as my old man planned. And I ended up liking baseball. But if you're asking if I've been keeping at it just because I like it, I have a feeling that it's not... I'm not even sure what it actually is. You might get angry at me for saying this, but I've given up on Koshien the moment I entered a public school. What I wanted wasn't that kind of thing, but..."
Something that's out there, far away. It's because I wanted to know what it is-- and to see for certain-- I recklessly kept on pitching. Something in a faraway place, that I've never seen yet know very well. I'm sure it is...
"...Gah, I just can't say it well. Sorry, just forget it."
"I can't."
Mei dropped herself down from the metal bar.
"Mei?"
I called out her name to check if she was fine, since I thought I hallucinated for a moment that she was being possessed by a different person. Her voice turned so... heavy... and stiff...
"There's no way I can just forget it."
I've never heard her voice shiver like that before.
"Might get angry... That's what someone who doesn't want others to get angry at him says, right? But I'm going to get angry."
"What's wrong, Mei?"
"Don't 'what's wrong?' me. What's wrong with you, Senpai? Given up on Koshien? Don't know why you're playing baseball? Why're you saying all that now?"
The shivering in her voice gradually became more prominent. It spread from her lips to her shoulders, then from her shoulders to her fingertips. Noticing that Mei was acting unusual, Yokoyama and the others stopped their game of air baseball and looked our way.
"I've never wanted you to say things like that, Senpai. You're the one who I-- who we all looked up to! You were better than anyone, practiced harder than anyone, liked baseball more than anyone-- Takamura-senpai, it was because you were our captain that we were able to come this far!"
"Wait, Mei. That's not it-- What I wanted to say was..."
"I'm going home."
Mei jumped on her bicycle.
"Senpai... You losing pitcher!"
That was supposed to be nuanced, like a dejected loser or something, I guess? Throwing out that mysterious insult, Mei took off at full speed.
"Wait, Mei--"
Ignoring my call for her to stop, Mei blasted off, kicking up a cloud of dust,
"Kyah--!"
Then, a few seconds later, an unidentifiable sound of a collision echoed.
"He~y, Urahara crashed into the school fence. You alright there, Urahara?"
--RING RING
Looks like she's fine, more or less. Answering Sasai's call with her bicycle's bell, Mei then left just like that, riding into the nocturnal town.
"Hey, Shouta. What's up with Urahara?"
Yokoyama jogged to me, his gigantic body shaking.
"Looks like I made her pretty angry."
"What? What's even up with that? After all I did... What'd you say to Mei?"
"Who knows..."
I don't really know, but it looks like I'm still pretty bad at conveying my emotions to people, just like Mei said.
"I'm home... Ugh--"
An abnormally potent stink of alcohol oozed out of the gap of the apartment door I cracked open. Unable to endure it, I shut the door right back and retreated to the balcony. After taking several deep breaths to clear up the air in my lungs, this time the door was opened wide.
"Finally home eh~ Shoutaa~~"
At the same time, the sound of someone awakening could be heard from the middle of the pitch-black room. Ignoring it, I flicked the room's light switch,
"Gyah-- Don't turn on the lights all of a sudden!"
Mom shrieked and faced back down on the table.
...What's with that state you're in?
The disastrous sight, illuminated by a fluorescent light, rendered me speechless.
Apparently, she's been terribly drunk again. The 2LDK apartment's living room, which had been perfectly orderly up to when I went out, was now devastated as if hit by a local tornado.
"Again, Mom?"
"Oh c'mon~ I just can't help it~~"
Mom raised her face listlessly while scratching her head, further disheveling her hair. Her face was all puffy and her skin all worn-out; alcohol is probably to blame here. Both her eyes were so red that it's painful to even look at. Not a shadow remained of the looks she had when she used to boast that she could look another ten years younger is she were to get serious.
"But of course you can... You're drinking way too much, I say..."
"Now, it's your fault for coming home so late, Shou-chan~~ Mom got soooo lonely... Couldn't go on without drinking it away, yeah?"
Having said that, Mom then chugged down all the remaining half cup of shochu in one go.
"Mu~haa~~ 'twas good. Un~believably good. It's impossible, Shou-chan. I just can't separate myself from this baby~~"
"It's not like I ever told to not to drink, didn't I? I was telling you to stop reckless binging..."
"Hmp~h, kids shouldn't talk back to grown-ups. That said, what's a kid like you even doing up this late? You didn't go to the part-time job again, did you?"
"Of course not. Didn't I already tell you that I was going to hang out with the baseball club guys?"
I opened the refrigerator, using the door to shield myself from Mom's angry line of sight.
"Hmph, then that's fine. Anyways, I'm not letting you do part-time jobs. Go and quit tomorrow. Mom's orders are absolute~!"
"You're bringing that up again?"
I took the chilly barley tea off the fridge, poured it into a cup, then drank it all down.
"It's because you never listen that I just have to say it again and again, right, Shou-chan? You're already a third-year, but you're still going off to do part-time... It's time to prepare for exams, so focus on your studies-- ...Wait, you listening, Shou-chan? What're you rummaging around there for?"
"I'm listening. But you know, the room really needs some cleaning up right now. I'm going to clear the table as well, so give me a hand here."
Things will get dragged on if I mess up in refusing to hear what Mom has to say. In this case, hand-waving it away with some vague statements was the right choice.
"Eh~h, wait a sec-- Don't clean up yet. Mom is still drinking here, you know. Huh-- Oh no! Look here, Shou-chan. Mom's cup is all empty! Shou-chan, hurry! Bring drinks to your poor Mom, chop-chop!"
Doing things this way, she'll just forget the topic herself. Now that Mom has cut off the conversation that she herself had started, she stretched out her arm with her cup in hand, clinking it against a bottle that was just within reach.
"Alright, alright..."
I sighed, with the intention to convey that I have been unwillingly doing all this, then picked up the mostly emptied shochu bottle, put it away in the kitchen, and filled Mom's cup with barley tea instead.
"Ah~~ 'twas good. I know it clears up my throat and all, but you know this isn't what I asked for, right? Now, don't be discouraged by your mistake and give it another go, yeah?"
"Nah, just drink that. It's about time you changed to barley tea for today."
Although Mom normally drinks all the time when she is at home, only about once a month would she go over the limit. Her crying is one indication, so I had to immediately force her to stop consuming alcohol if I were to see her eyes turn red. If I don't, the room would be messed up horribly, and so will Mom's physical condition on the next day.
"You won't ever be young again no matter how much you dress up, so you really should change your drinking habits, Mom."
"He~h, worried about Mom's body, eh? How nice of you, Shou-chan."
Although I did my best to be sarcastic, Mom ended up laughing happily for some reason.
"Really, I wish Miyata-san would follow your example, about being nice and all. Listen to this, Shou-chan. There's this annoying accountant at my hospital..."
"I know. You've been telling me every night."
"Then you'd better listen this time, too. This Miyata-san is acting all high and mighty, saying, it'd be troublesome if you're not more cost-conscious, Koharu-san. Gah, he's gotta be kidding. What does he think he's even saying, cost-conscious? It's the end of the hospital if nurses care more about costs than their patients, dammit. I hope you lose the rest of your hair, damn baldy. Ahh... how annoying. And then there's this other time when--"
"Whoa, hold it. I'll listen to that story later. Isn't there supposed to be some mail for me?"
I raised my hands forward, interrupting Mom before she got so fired-up that she continued her grumbles until dawn.
"That thing from Z-Kai? It's here. On the table."
Mom directed her sight to the room with the wooden floor.
"Just that? Is there anything else?"
"Hm~m, anything else? What'd you mean, anything else~? Your Mom won't know if you don't spell it out, yeah~~?"
...Yup, there is.
Even though she didn't actually give an answer, I could tell just from her ear-to-ear grin.
"C'mon, c'mon. Spell it out, Shou-chan~ What do you think is the other thing that was sent to you~~? ...L-O-V-E-L-E-T-T-E-R~~?"
"Jeez, enough already. Is it also on the table? You haven't looked at what's inside, have you?"
"I already looked, obviously. I'm your Mom, you know. Kids these days still send them, huh~~ These kinds of letters... I used to do these kinds of things when I was a student, too. Snuck them into the desk of a senpai from the basketball club... Da~yum, now that's what I call youth. Hey, so who's this girl? She cute? You kissed? If you haven't, then bring her over next time. I'll be hiding in the closet."
"Alright, alright, next time it is. And make sure to drink your barley tea."
I nailed down a reminder to Mom, who had no intention of lifting her cup up whatsoever, then slid open the door to the room with wooden floor.
The seven-mat room was one of dim flooring. The things I was looking for were arranged on the writing desk by the window.
One was a large envelope of Z-Kai study materials, and the other was a small, flower-patterned envelope. I picked up the envelope that was decorated in its four corners with patterns of deep red gerbera, confirming its external appearance. It was sealed with a heart-shaped sticker, and there was no sign of it having been opened prior.
Mom was obviously joking when she said she had already looked inside, since she couldn't possibly be laughing and messing around like that if she actually did. Although I knew that much, I still couldn't help not double-checking.
Since I first became a third-year, once every month, a flower-patterned envelope from an undisclosed sender would be dropped directly into our mailbox. Mom came to the conclusion that they were love letters intended for me based on the sole fact that they were flower-patterned.
Looks like Mom just turned on the TV. I could hear some mumbling sounds from the living room. Double-checking that the sliding screen was closed, I then turned on the table's stand light. Sitting down on the chair and unsealing the envelope, I then opened up the letter from Dad, which started with "To Shouta," just like always.
The plain white writing paper, lacking any coloring and decorations in a complete contrast with its packaging, contained extremely concise reports of Dad's most current circumstances, written in his quirky handwriting. And as always, a single photograph was enclosed. I wonder what outlying island is this? A cross-shaped island floating amid the waves, with the evening sun in the background. I might not know the exact location, but I knew that it was a place in Japan from the tattered shimenawa hanging from the cross-shaped island, and also,
[An island that fits perfectly with Enka]
Those words, scribbled on the back of the photo, which vivified my visualization.
"...Well, this is new."
I took out a bundle of photographs from the drawer. Then I turned them over, one by one. Malaysia, Mongolia, Czech Republic, South Africa, Mexico... As I thought, this one was the first of his photos to come from Japan.
"I see... so you've come back to Japan."
Dad, a freelance photographer, spends most of his time overseas. The name Hazaki Wataru is apparently quite famous in the field, but I've never heard Dad's name being spoken by anyone else before.
Once again, I looked down at the photograph. It was a curious picture, for sure. Perhaps it was because of the island's fascinating charm, or perhaps it was Dad's expertise in his craft. Either way, I just couldn't take my eyes off the photo. As I stared at it, I felt as if the roar of waves and the fragrance of the seashore were wafting through the air.
Mom's laughter could be heard from the room next to mine. Then a coughing fit, throat-clearing, and then a soliloquy, "Let's get some more barley tea~". Separated by the sliding screen, Mom was putting an excessive effort in calling for attention to her existence.
I was never told how a photographer who wanders the world and a nurse who works for a hospital in the Tokyo metropolitan area came to meet and fall in love, but the married life between Dad who was barely at home and Mom who easily succumbs to loneliness would not last long. Perhaps it was just too predictable, just as many of our relatives have been saying from the started.
Apparently, Mom would always drink and cry alone whenever Dad was away from home. Then, after giving birth to me by herself at the hospital, she changed to crying while holding me instead. All while making idle complaints about Dad. Even so, Mom would be so delighted when Dad finally came home once in a while, spending her time laughing happily up until it was time for Dad's next trip. Mom has always truly loved Dad, I'm sure.
But that probably made it all the more painful for her in the end. After their divorce, Mom ended up refusing absolutely all contact from Dad. She never picked up his phone calls, never accepted his mails and letters, never took any child-support money, and never talked about the past.
This letter being able to reach me was thanks to my clumsy Dad finding a way with all his wits, which resulted in him not writing any receiver and sender's names. Dad bet his chances on Mom's head coming up with no more than the straightforward formula that [Flower-Patterned Envelope = Love Letter] and won a splendid victory, sending his letters right into my hands.
Suddenly, the lights in the living room were turned off.
"I'm going to sleep."
I could hear Mom say so quietly, and also the sound of a Japanese-style room's sliding screen being slid open.
"Good night."
I answered, switched off the stand light, then opened the window, taking care to not make a noise.
Through the branches of tall elm trees, I overlooked the dimly lit park.
It was a small, triangular park that was built to the back of the two-story apartment building.
It was a lonely park, with only a playground slide and a swing apologetically sharing its space.
From my memory, Dad would always be there. Dad, the man who taught me baseball.
[Let's go play catchball.]
He would always invite me along with those words. Dad, the man who liked beer, tobacco, kombu, and most of all, baseball. Because he couldn't choose anything as his favorite, he would always wear a shabby hat with letters which seemed to not be the name of any baseball team.
The wind swayed and rustled the elm leaves around.
Illuminated by nothing but a single street light, the playground slide drew a short shadow on the ground. Right beside that slide was the spot where Dad would be when we were playing catchball. In reality, Dad may be someone who travels the world, but even now, inside me, Dad would always be sitting right there, poised for a catch with his glove.
I imagined myself holding a ball in my left hand and pitching it, aiming at Dad. The ball made its way through the elm branches, landing right in the middle of Dad's glove.
"Ball."
Saying that, Dad then threw the ball back to me.
Dad's judgements have always been relentless.
Chapter 2 Complete
The End - Shouta - June
The one who proposed that we went to the baseball field was none other than Yokoyama.
Our catcher, one who usually would give up right after being declined with one shake of the head, was uncharacteristically stubborn for just today; he dragged all of the third years along to sneak into the field late at night.
"Well then, let us commence the Jousei High School Baseball Club Retirement Ceremony. Salutations."
As if Yokoyama's opening speech was a cue, four third-year students, all empty-handed, shuffled into their positions. At the shortstop was Sasai, in jeans; running to the center field was Okamoto, in a sleeveless shirt; and stepping on to the pitcher's mound was me, in sandals.
"First, Catcher, Yokoyama-kun."
Yokoyama, in shorts, called read out his own name, then got in the batter's box. Pretending to grip his bat firmly, he then swung at the air.
"Bring it, Ogawa!"
Yokoyama thrusted his finger, pointing at a spot above Okamoto, at just about around the Murai Clinic sign. Looks like an announcement that he's going for a home run. I sent a signal of denial to the imaginary catcher twice, then raised my right hand that I pretended to hold a ball with, then swung the arm with all my strength. The course was perfect. However,
"KAKI~~N!"
Yokoyama's swing, which should have completely missed its mark, caught my winning pitch in dead center, easily sending it flying to the upper tier of the stands, between the left and center fielders.
"How 'bout that, Ogawa? I hit it over the electronic scoreboard!"
To correct him, it was out of the field; a home run.
"Alright, I'm up next. Second, Shortstop, Sasai-kun. It's a challenge, Ogawa!"
Sasai hurried from the shortstop and knocked my full-power straight pitch, knocking it leftwards off the field. Then came Okamoto, who easily knocked my pitch rightwards off the field.
It's all me who was faced with the nightmare of giving away three home runs in a row.
"Alright, next up is Shouta. C'mon, c'mon, bring it on, Public Pitcher. I'll show you the power of the Monster Rookie!"
I cornered Okamoto, who played the role of Kawakita, by racking up three strikes on him, and then another three by pitching knuckleballs.
"A~ah... So hot, so tired~~"
While wiping the sweat off his forehead, Sasai threw himself down in the middle of the baseball diamond.
"Man~ I thought it looked stupid at first, but it's pretty damn fun once you actually to do it."
"Yeah, we even did it another four times. I totally understand how our Senpais felt now."
Okamoto nodded as he laid down on his back beside Sasai. Sasai slapped my ankle, as if telling me to lay myself down as well.
"See, didn't I say it'll be great? The Retirement Ceremony, I mean."
I laid myself down, and lying next to me was Yokoyama, arms and legs outstretched like a starfish.
That's right, that was the Retirement Ceremony, a tradition passed down in the Jousei High School Baseball Club. The third-years who are about to retire from the club are to gather in the field at night, then play air baseball while impersonating the team that drove them to retirement. A little ritual for us, an unremarkable team of an unremarkable school.
Well, I'm calling it a field, but it's actually just an ordinary fenced school yard, with no mound nor bases. And the drainage is so awful that when it rains, the water would well up like a river. Every day in this yard is a turf war, with us against the other clubs like the soccer team or the volleyball team. But even so, we continued pursuing the path of the white ball with all our hearts.
"They were real tough, huh... Hayami Commerce..."
"Koshien seems so far away..."
To Sasai's mutters, Okamoto muttered in response.
[WE'RE GOING TO KOSHIEN!]
One sudden day, our manager excitedly wrote as such on the club room's walls with black ink. Although no one in the club took those words seriously, there was also no one who dared to erase them off, even though they could be easily rubbed off with some water.
And so, from that day on, they became somewhat of a buzzword among the members.
Things like, "Hey, push it! You're going to Koshien, right!?" or "Hey, hey! You're going to Koshien with those sloppy skills!?"; jokes that would make one feel embarrassed and itchy on the inside. But even so, those words would build up more and more heat each time they have been said, and before we even realized, it became an inextinguishable flame in our hearts.
"C'mon, we did great. Stopped the Hayami from getting a called game, you know."
"That's right. It's all thanks to our Captain here. Yeah, Ace?"
Oh, shut it-- Was what I intended to communicate as I jokingly kicked Okamoto at his foot.
"Still, I really wanted to go... To Koshien..."
"Koshien, the Promised Land, huh..."
To another one of Sasai's grumbles, Okamoto muttered once again in response.
"Sorry."
Yokoyama said in a whisper which only I could her.
Oh c'mon, don't say that-- I knocked on my right-hand man's shoulder with my left fist. I intended to encourage him, but Yokoyama stayed silent. Maybe I used the wrong hand? I've never been good at being considerate, too...
For a while, we lied down on the field, spending the time in silence. Each one of us reminisced about our past three years, picturing them on the night sky.
Koshien, the Promised Land... It's not that I was looking to be promised such a definite thing. All I wanted was...
Right then--
"Hey! What do you think you're doing there!?"
A shout of anger echoed through the field.
Oh crap, it's a teacher-- Was what no one thought. Our school doesn't have any guards on night shift, and the voice wasn't even that of an adult.
"Me~h, what killjoys. Could anyone at least pretend to be surprised?"
That forced deep voice was so ridiculous that it even sounded cute.
"But seriously, you all really did it... That ritual."
Not at all successful in her prank, the short-haired girl in shorts dragged her heels toward us.
"Anyways, please be more mindful of laying waste to the field. It's us second-years who did the clean-ups, you know."
Urahara Mei kicked down her bicycle's stand, put her hands on her hips, then knit her brows, in a demeanor befitting her nickname of Demon Manager.
...That's coming you, who brought a bicycle down to the field? Her stance was so daunting that no one dared to give such a retort.
"Dammit. That's dirty, Ogawa! Placing landmines on the batter's box 'cause you can't beat me... But I won't lose! I'll hit them off the field, no matter how many you throw at me!"
Sasai stood in the batter's box, panting heavily, seeming half-dead.
"...Don't you feel empty on the inside at all, doing things like this?"
Leaning on a horizontal metal bar, Mei directed a cold gaze at the other three, who were still playing air baseball.
"You'd think we do if you're just watching. It's surprisingly addicting once you get to try it."
I answered, while fluttering my T-shirt's collar to let air in.
"That was unexpected."
"Huh?"
As our eyes met, Mei promptly turned away.
"Well, you don't really give off the impression that you'd do something like this, Senpai. Unlike the other three."
"Impression?"
"How should I say it... Well... you're cool and all."
"Cool, huh."
"What're you laughing at?"
"No I wasn't."
Without leaving a pause open, Mei took a glance at me. I hurriedly looked up at the sky, so as to not let her see the grin painted on my face. The rainy season's clouds further darkened the already dark sky. The night breeze, packed with June's humidity, did nothing to help dry our sweaty bodies, but rather soaked them up even more. But strangely, I didn't feel hot at all. Perhaps this year's summer won't be hot either. Or, by any chance, for the rest of my life...
"So, your baseball career is over..."
Mei suddenly spoke up.
"Sure did."
"You're going to University, right, Takamura-senpai?"
"...Yeah."
--Takamura. Every underclassman would just call me Shouta-senpai, except Mei, who's too stubborn to stop calling me by my family name no matter how many times I told her to.
"You're awesome, Senpai. Being able to balance your studies and club activities. You don't even go to cram school, right?"
"No time for that, you see. Since I'm also doing club, mail tutoring service is the most I can take."
"I can't even deal with one thing at a time, really."
"It's not like I'm having an easy time here either, you know."
"Please-fully-concentrate-on-your-studies-from-now-on."
What's with the monotone recitation? Mei's face had no suggestion whatsoever that she's prepared to cheer anyone on. She poked her index finger under the damp earth, dug up a pebble, then proceeded to turn over the soil under her feet.
"I'm going to be direct; I wasn't cheering for you on your studies at all, Senpai."
Nope, that was quite a detour right there.
"I'd thought you would keep on playing baseball, you see."
"By keep on playing, you mean until fall?"
"No. Forever, and ever, and ever."
Forever...?
"Hy~yup."
Mei suddenly stood up, then flung the pebble away with all her might. From the soccer club's weather-beaten goal post at the opposite side of the field, a dry noise resounded.
"Say that it's your way to study for the exams, go crazy at the fall season games, get into a university by recommendation, then conquer the Big 6."
"The Big 6, huh."
"Not only that. Rank in the top three in the draft and go pro, get discouraged by all the difficulties during the first professional year, then switch to being a curveball pitcher in the second. Enter the rotation in the third, go on to be the winning pitcher two times in a row during the fourth to the sixth, then blast off to the Major League after you've done all you can in the seventh!"
While she was saying that, Mei must have been excited as if it was definitely going to happen. She sprang up and held on to the metal bar.
"Even Major, huh?"
"You're laughing again."
With what you're saying, of course I am.
"Takamura-senpai."
"I mean-- sorry. It looks like you've been more serious than even me when it comes to my baseball career, Mei."
"Huh? W-- Well, of course. I'm the manager girl, after all."
Mei, seemingly embarrassed, wobbled as she dangled on the metal bar.
"I just like to think about that kind of thing. Like, it makes me feel all fired up, you see."
...You know, it looks like you have a lot of talent in air baseball.
"Don't you think about those kinds of things at all, Senpai? Like, what if you got to step up the Koshien mound, or what if your name was on the draft?"
"Nope, I don't."
"You're lying. You must've thought about them at least once. Please confess all of them."
"I really don't."
"If you plan on playing dumb, I'll give you an O-Guruma throw followed by a dropkick."
"Stop it already."
In this case, Mei could actually do it. And that's what makes it scary.
"Now, now, spit them all out~~ Your shameful delusions, Senpai~~ It's throw and a dropkick if you don't~~ Right at your neck~~"
Mei grinned widely as she got into stance, ready for an O-Guruma throw.
"Hey, I wasn't lying. I really never thought about those things. I've never had any kind of clear goal when playing baseball, you see. In the end, I'm still not sure why I was playing baseball, even."
"...What's up with that?"
Mei suddenly froze in place.
...I said too much. I regretted it, but it was too late.
"It's nothing. Nothing to be curious about."
"Of course I'm curious. Please tell me about it, Takamura-senpai."
"It's not that big of a deal, really."
"That's for me to judge."
Dodging questions never works when faced with the Demon Manager, the pride and joy of the Jousei High School Baseball Club. Dangling from the metal bar, Mei kept still as she stared down at me.
"Uh, well, I'm not sure how I should say it..."
I have no confidence that I'll be able to convey it well, but as things are, I'll probably get sent flying for real, so for now I'll just say what words I can put together.
"The reason I started playing baseball in the first place was to fill a gap, you see."
"Gap...?"
Looks like I got it wrong right from the start. Mei now has a stern expression on her face.
"Uh-- Calling it a gap might be exaggerating, but I used to be really shy, you see. I was always holed up at home. I was really bad at holding conversations, and also at communicating my emotions over..."
"Not like you're that good at it now though."
Mei said, still dangling from the metal bar.
"Probably, yeah. So, my old man was worried about me, so he took me outside and taught me to play baseball."
Even now, I remember it clearly. The small park behind my apartment. My baseball career began there.
"And so baseball opened up a whole new world for me, just as my old man planned. And I ended up liking baseball. But if you're asking if I've been keeping at it just because I like it, I have a feeling that it's not... I'm not even sure what it actually is. You might get angry at me for saying this, but I've given up on Koshien the moment I entered a public school. What I wanted wasn't that kind of thing, but..."
Something that's out there, far away. It's because I wanted to know what it is-- and to see for certain-- I recklessly kept on pitching. Something in a faraway place, that I've never seen yet know very well. I'm sure it is...
"...Gah, I just can't say it well. Sorry, just forget it."
"I can't."
Mei dropped herself down from the metal bar.
"Mei?"
I called out her name to check if she was fine, since I thought I hallucinated for a moment that she was being possessed by a different person. Her voice turned so... heavy... and stiff...
"There's no way I can just forget it."
I've never heard her voice shiver like that before.
"Might get angry... That's what someone who doesn't want others to get angry at him says, right? But I'm going to get angry."
"What's wrong, Mei?"
"Don't 'what's wrong?' me. What's wrong with you, Senpai? Given up on Koshien? Don't know why you're playing baseball? Why're you saying all that now?"
The shivering in her voice gradually became more prominent. It spread from her lips to her shoulders, then from her shoulders to her fingertips. Noticing that Mei was acting unusual, Yokoyama and the others stopped their game of air baseball and looked our way.
"I've never wanted you to say things like that, Senpai. You're the one who I-- who we all looked up to! You were better than anyone, practiced harder than anyone, liked baseball more than anyone-- Takamura-senpai, it was because you were our captain that we were able to come this far!"
"Wait, Mei. That's not it-- What I wanted to say was..."
"I'm going home."
Mei jumped on her bicycle.
"Senpai... You losing pitcher!"
That was supposed to be nuanced, like a dejected loser or something, I guess? Throwing out that mysterious insult, Mei took off at full speed.
"Wait, Mei--"
Ignoring my call for her to stop, Mei blasted off, kicking up a cloud of dust,
"Kyah--!"
Then, a few seconds later, an unidentifiable sound of a collision echoed.
"He~y, Urahara crashed into the school fence. You alright there, Urahara?"
--RING RING
Looks like she's fine, more or less. Answering Sasai's call with her bicycle's bell, Mei then left just like that, riding into the nocturnal town.
"Hey, Shouta. What's up with Urahara?"
Yokoyama jogged to me, his gigantic body shaking.
"Looks like I made her pretty angry."
"What? What's even up with that? After all I did... What'd you say to Mei?"
"Who knows..."
I don't really know, but it looks like I'm still pretty bad at conveying my emotions to people, just like Mei said.
"I'm home... Ugh--"
An abnormally potent stink of alcohol oozed out of the gap of the apartment door I cracked open. Unable to endure it, I shut the door right back and retreated to the balcony. After taking several deep breaths to clear up the air in my lungs, this time the door was opened wide.
"Finally home eh~ Shoutaa~~"
At the same time, the sound of someone awakening could be heard from the middle of the pitch-black room. Ignoring it, I flicked the room's light switch,
"Gyah-- Don't turn on the lights all of a sudden!"
Mom shrieked and faced back down on the table.
...What's with that state you're in?
The disastrous sight, illuminated by a fluorescent light, rendered me speechless.
Apparently, she's been terribly drunk again. The 2LDK apartment's living room, which had been perfectly orderly up to when I went out, was now devastated as if hit by a local tornado.
"Again, Mom?"
"Oh c'mon~ I just can't help it~~"
Mom raised her face listlessly while scratching her head, further disheveling her hair. Her face was all puffy and her skin all worn-out; alcohol is probably to blame here. Both her eyes were so red that it's painful to even look at. Not a shadow remained of the looks she had when she used to boast that she could look another ten years younger is she were to get serious.
"But of course you can... You're drinking way too much, I say..."
"Now, it's your fault for coming home so late, Shou-chan~~ Mom got soooo lonely... Couldn't go on without drinking it away, yeah?"
Having said that, Mom then chugged down all the remaining half cup of shochu in one go.
"Mu~haa~~ 'twas good. Un~believably good. It's impossible, Shou-chan. I just can't separate myself from this baby~~"
"It's not like I ever told to not to drink, didn't I? I was telling you to stop reckless binging..."
"Hmp~h, kids shouldn't talk back to grown-ups. That said, what's a kid like you even doing up this late? You didn't go to the part-time job again, did you?"
"Of course not. Didn't I already tell you that I was going to hang out with the baseball club guys?"
I opened the refrigerator, using the door to shield myself from Mom's angry line of sight.
"Hmph, then that's fine. Anyways, I'm not letting you do part-time jobs. Go and quit tomorrow. Mom's orders are absolute~!"
"You're bringing that up again?"
I took the chilly barley tea off the fridge, poured it into a cup, then drank it all down.
"It's because you never listen that I just have to say it again and again, right, Shou-chan? You're already a third-year, but you're still going off to do part-time... It's time to prepare for exams, so focus on your studies-- ...Wait, you listening, Shou-chan? What're you rummaging around there for?"
"I'm listening. But you know, the room really needs some cleaning up right now. I'm going to clear the table as well, so give me a hand here."
Things will get dragged on if I mess up in refusing to hear what Mom has to say. In this case, hand-waving it away with some vague statements was the right choice.
"Eh~h, wait a sec-- Don't clean up yet. Mom is still drinking here, you know. Huh-- Oh no! Look here, Shou-chan. Mom's cup is all empty! Shou-chan, hurry! Bring drinks to your poor Mom, chop-chop!"
Doing things this way, she'll just forget the topic herself. Now that Mom has cut off the conversation that she herself had started, she stretched out her arm with her cup in hand, clinking it against a bottle that was just within reach.
"Alright, alright..."
I sighed, with the intention to convey that I have been unwillingly doing all this, then picked up the mostly emptied shochu bottle, put it away in the kitchen, and filled Mom's cup with barley tea instead.
"Ah~~ 'twas good. I know it clears up my throat and all, but you know this isn't what I asked for, right? Now, don't be discouraged by your mistake and give it another go, yeah?"
"Nah, just drink that. It's about time you changed to barley tea for today."
Although Mom normally drinks all the time when she is at home, only about once a month would she go over the limit. Her crying is one indication, so I had to immediately force her to stop consuming alcohol if I were to see her eyes turn red. If I don't, the room would be messed up horribly, and so will Mom's physical condition on the next day.
"You won't ever be young again no matter how much you dress up, so you really should change your drinking habits, Mom."
"He~h, worried about Mom's body, eh? How nice of you, Shou-chan."
Although I did my best to be sarcastic, Mom ended up laughing happily for some reason.
"Really, I wish Miyata-san would follow your example, about being nice and all. Listen to this, Shou-chan. There's this annoying accountant at my hospital..."
"I know. You've been telling me every night."
"Then you'd better listen this time, too. This Miyata-san is acting all high and mighty, saying, it'd be troublesome if you're not more cost-conscious, Koharu-san. Gah, he's gotta be kidding. What does he think he's even saying, cost-conscious? It's the end of the hospital if nurses care more about costs than their patients, dammit. I hope you lose the rest of your hair, damn baldy. Ahh... how annoying. And then there's this other time when--"
"Whoa, hold it. I'll listen to that story later. Isn't there supposed to be some mail for me?"
I raised my hands forward, interrupting Mom before she got so fired-up that she continued her grumbles until dawn.
"That thing from Z-Kai? It's here. On the table."
Mom directed her sight to the room with the wooden floor.
"Just that? Is there anything else?"
"Hm~m, anything else? What'd you mean, anything else~? Your Mom won't know if you don't spell it out, yeah~~?"
...Yup, there is.
Even though she didn't actually give an answer, I could tell just from her ear-to-ear grin.
"C'mon, c'mon. Spell it out, Shou-chan~ What do you think is the other thing that was sent to you~~? ...L-O-V-E-L-E-T-T-E-R~~?"
"Jeez, enough already. Is it also on the table? You haven't looked at what's inside, have you?"
"I already looked, obviously. I'm your Mom, you know. Kids these days still send them, huh~~ These kinds of letters... I used to do these kinds of things when I was a student, too. Snuck them into the desk of a senpai from the basketball club... Da~yum, now that's what I call youth. Hey, so who's this girl? She cute? You kissed? If you haven't, then bring her over next time. I'll be hiding in the closet."
"Alright, alright, next time it is. And make sure to drink your barley tea."
I nailed down a reminder to Mom, who had no intention of lifting her cup up whatsoever, then slid open the door to the room with wooden floor.
The seven-mat room was one of dim flooring. The things I was looking for were arranged on the writing desk by the window.
One was a large envelope of Z-Kai study materials, and the other was a small, flower-patterned envelope. I picked up the envelope that was decorated in its four corners with patterns of deep red gerbera, confirming its external appearance. It was sealed with a heart-shaped sticker, and there was no sign of it having been opened prior.
Mom was obviously joking when she said she had already looked inside, since she couldn't possibly be laughing and messing around like that if she actually did. Although I knew that much, I still couldn't help not double-checking.
Since I first became a third-year, once every month, a flower-patterned envelope from an undisclosed sender would be dropped directly into our mailbox. Mom came to the conclusion that they were love letters intended for me based on the sole fact that they were flower-patterned.
Looks like Mom just turned on the TV. I could hear some mumbling sounds from the living room. Double-checking that the sliding screen was closed, I then turned on the table's stand light. Sitting down on the chair and unsealing the envelope, I then opened up the letter from Dad, which started with "To Shouta," just like always.
The plain white writing paper, lacking any coloring and decorations in a complete contrast with its packaging, contained extremely concise reports of Dad's most current circumstances, written in his quirky handwriting. And as always, a single photograph was enclosed. I wonder what outlying island is this? A cross-shaped island floating amid the waves, with the evening sun in the background. I might not know the exact location, but I knew that it was a place in Japan from the tattered shimenawa hanging from the cross-shaped island, and also,
[An island that fits perfectly with Enka]
Those words, scribbled on the back of the photo, which vivified my visualization.
"...Well, this is new."
I took out a bundle of photographs from the drawer. Then I turned them over, one by one. Malaysia, Mongolia, Czech Republic, South Africa, Mexico... As I thought, this one was the first of his photos to come from Japan.
"I see... so you've come back to Japan."
Dad, a freelance photographer, spends most of his time overseas. The name Hazaki Wataru is apparently quite famous in the field, but I've never heard Dad's name being spoken by anyone else before.
Once again, I looked down at the photograph. It was a curious picture, for sure. Perhaps it was because of the island's fascinating charm, or perhaps it was Dad's expertise in his craft. Either way, I just couldn't take my eyes off the photo. As I stared at it, I felt as if the roar of waves and the fragrance of the seashore were wafting through the air.
Mom's laughter could be heard from the room next to mine. Then a coughing fit, throat-clearing, and then a soliloquy, "Let's get some more barley tea~". Separated by the sliding screen, Mom was putting an excessive effort in calling for attention to her existence.
I was never told how a photographer who wanders the world and a nurse who works for a hospital in the Tokyo metropolitan area came to meet and fall in love, but the married life between Dad who was barely at home and Mom who easily succumbs to loneliness would not last long. Perhaps it was just too predictable, just as many of our relatives have been saying from the started.
Apparently, Mom would always drink and cry alone whenever Dad was away from home. Then, after giving birth to me by herself at the hospital, she changed to crying while holding me instead. All while making idle complaints about Dad. Even so, Mom would be so delighted when Dad finally came home once in a while, spending her time laughing happily up until it was time for Dad's next trip. Mom has always truly loved Dad, I'm sure.
But that probably made it all the more painful for her in the end. After their divorce, Mom ended up refusing absolutely all contact from Dad. She never picked up his phone calls, never accepted his mails and letters, never took any child-support money, and never talked about the past.
This letter being able to reach me was thanks to my clumsy Dad finding a way with all his wits, which resulted in him not writing any receiver and sender's names. Dad bet his chances on Mom's head coming up with no more than the straightforward formula that [Flower-Patterned Envelope = Love Letter] and won a splendid victory, sending his letters right into my hands.
Suddenly, the lights in the living room were turned off.
"I'm going to sleep."
I could hear Mom say so quietly, and also the sound of a Japanese-style room's sliding screen being slid open.
"Good night."
I answered, switched off the stand light, then opened the window, taking care to not make a noise.
Through the branches of tall elm trees, I overlooked the dimly lit park.
It was a small, triangular park that was built to the back of the two-story apartment building.
It was a lonely park, with only a playground slide and a swing apologetically sharing its space.
From my memory, Dad would always be there. Dad, the man who taught me baseball.
[Let's go play catchball.]
He would always invite me along with those words. Dad, the man who liked beer, tobacco, kombu, and most of all, baseball. Because he couldn't choose anything as his favorite, he would always wear a shabby hat with letters which seemed to not be the name of any baseball team.
The wind swayed and rustled the elm leaves around.
Illuminated by nothing but a single street light, the playground slide drew a short shadow on the ground. Right beside that slide was the spot where Dad would be when we were playing catchball. In reality, Dad may be someone who travels the world, but even now, inside me, Dad would always be sitting right there, poised for a catch with his glove.
I imagined myself holding a ball in my left hand and pitching it, aiming at Dad. The ball made its way through the elm branches, landing right in the middle of Dad's glove.
"Ball."
Saying that, Dad then threw the ball back to me.
Dad's judgements have always been relentless.
Chapter 2 Complete
