Chapter 34
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He appeared at the entrance of my room in approximately five minutes, he politely knocked the door that was left ajar.
"Come in" I composed myself and sat on a sofa. He carefully came in like a disobedient kid expecting to be punished.
"you called for me?", oh that smile was a fake one
" Of course,have a seat". wait why am I acting like the 'lady of the house?', I shook my head to do away with the stupid thoughts and focus on what I was about to say.
"Thank you for helping me out,I sincerely appreciate your kindness, but in this day and age I've come to understand that nothing goes for nothing, so I'd like you to be very sincere and state the reason you went through all the trouble to make sure I survive". I knew I was being ridiculous, but don't blame me. Coming across slimy things like my mum..sorry Susan and then Kelvin,I started to have trust issues.
" I didn't have a reason, I just helped like a normal human should ". For some reason he couldn't look at me directly and did I hear the first part correctly?
" Didn't?"
"Yes"
"so that means you want me to repay your kindness". I asked with a raised brow.
" Not exactly, the thing is..... " like I knew it, I closed my eyes calmly and interrupted him
"State the amount"
"Huh,you think I did all these for money?"
"What else would you do it for, to sleep with me?", it was taking much efforts to control my self control.
" Huh,you think I'm that low?"
"What should I rather think?"
"Just fucking answer my questions outrightly and stop avoiding them with nonsensical questions". OK so why is he angry?
" Is this the thank you I deserve for saving your life?,calling me a pervert?",oh so that's why he's angry.
"I already said thank you"
"Wow, this is exactly what I get for being a good person and taking responsibilities for the first time,this is what I get when I try to make up for my mistakes, this is precisely what I get...". He was talking to the room at large,I had to remind him that he was thinking aloud again
" What mistakes are you talking about?"
"Never mind,it's none of your business anyway. just get well soon so we can go our separate ways". He marched out of the room.
" I'm leaving first thing tomorrow, if there's anyway I could repay my debts apart from sex,then I'll be glad to oblige". He froze at the entrance and turned around, I could see flashes of anger in his eyes.
"If you really want to repay your debts,marry me!". He left before I could comprehend what he said.
Marriage?, is this guy nuts?, is that even a way to propose marriage?. My head was spinning again. I could only sit down and put down a few things with the pencil and pink pocketbook I found in the room.
I opened a fresh page and wrote down all my experiences that were missing from my previous diary.
Even after an hour of extreme writing, I still didn't feel better,I came out of the bedroom and wandered my around the huge mansion till I found his study. The door was ajar and soft light filtered it's way through the opening, I perceived cigarettes and shattering sounds. Then I became worried. I cautiously went into the room,it was partly trashed. Shattered glasses where everywhere, discarded, torn and squeezed papers were lying allover. I bent over and picked one due to curiosity:
I hate it!
I want to end it!
The fear and anger and pain I'm feeling
I want to end it all
And just feel numb
But I'm not sure I can do it!
**********
What in the world is wrong with this guy?,first a marriage proposal out of the blue then this?. I could not comprehend went wrong with the cool,calm always smiling Mr. Gorgeous. I coughed slightly at the strong odor of the cigarette he was smoking and he turned around to face me worriedly.
"What's wrong, are you OK?". He hurriedly went to pour me a glass of water. I was touched by his sincerity, even if he was in his own hell,he still cared about me.
" Can I ask a favour?" I asked as I perched on a chair.
"Sure, do you need anything?, I'll have Joe get them ready for you"
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He appeared at the entrance of my room in approximately five minutes, he politely knocked the door that was left ajar.
"Come in" I composed myself and sat on a sofa. He carefully came in like a disobedient kid expecting to be punished.
"you called for me?", oh that smile was a fake one
" Of course,have a seat". wait why am I acting like the 'lady of the house?', I shook my head to do away with the stupid thoughts and focus on what I was about to say.
"Thank you for helping me out,I sincerely appreciate your kindness, but in this day and age I've come to understand that nothing goes for nothing, so I'd like you to be very sincere and state the reason you went through all the trouble to make sure I survive". I knew I was being ridiculous, but don't blame me. Coming across slimy things like my mum..sorry Susan and then Kelvin,I started to have trust issues.
" I didn't have a reason, I just helped like a normal human should ". For some reason he couldn't look at me directly and did I hear the first part correctly?
" Didn't?"
"Yes"
"so that means you want me to repay your kindness". I asked with a raised brow.
" Not exactly, the thing is..... " like I knew it, I closed my eyes calmly and interrupted him
"State the amount"
"Huh,you think I did all these for money?"
"What else would you do it for, to sleep with me?", it was taking much efforts to control my self control.
" Huh,you think I'm that low?"
"What should I rather think?"
"Just fucking answer my questions outrightly and stop avoiding them with nonsensical questions". OK so why is he angry?
" Is this the thank you I deserve for saving your life?,calling me a pervert?",oh so that's why he's angry.
"I already said thank you"
"Wow, this is exactly what I get for being a good person and taking responsibilities for the first time,this is what I get when I try to make up for my mistakes, this is precisely what I get...". He was talking to the room at large,I had to remind him that he was thinking aloud again
" What mistakes are you talking about?"
"Never mind,it's none of your business anyway. just get well soon so we can go our separate ways". He marched out of the room.
" I'm leaving first thing tomorrow, if there's anyway I could repay my debts apart from sex,then I'll be glad to oblige". He froze at the entrance and turned around, I could see flashes of anger in his eyes.
"If you really want to repay your debts,marry me!". He left before I could comprehend what he said.
Marriage?, is this guy nuts?, is that even a way to propose marriage?. My head was spinning again. I could only sit down and put down a few things with the pencil and pink pocketbook I found in the room.
I opened a fresh page and wrote down all my experiences that were missing from my previous diary.
Even after an hour of extreme writing, I still didn't feel better,I came out of the bedroom and wandered my around the huge mansion till I found his study. The door was ajar and soft light filtered it's way through the opening, I perceived cigarettes and shattering sounds. Then I became worried. I cautiously went into the room,it was partly trashed. Shattered glasses where everywhere, discarded, torn and squeezed papers were lying allover. I bent over and picked one due to curiosity:
I hate it!
I want to end it!
The fear and anger and pain I'm feeling
I want to end it all
And just feel numb
But I'm not sure I can do it!
**********
What in the world is wrong with this guy?,first a marriage proposal out of the blue then this?. I could not comprehend went wrong with the cool,calm always smiling Mr. Gorgeous. I coughed slightly at the strong odor of the cigarette he was smoking and he turned around to face me worriedly.
"What's wrong, are you OK?". He hurriedly went to pour me a glass of water. I was touched by his sincerity, even if he was in his own hell,he still cared about me.
" Can I ask a favour?" I asked as I perched on a chair.
"Sure, do you need anything?, I'll have Joe get them ready for you"
He appeared at the entrance of my room in approximately five minutes, he politely knocked the door that was left ajar. "Come in" I composed myself and sat on a sofa. He carefully came in like a disobedient kid expecting to be punished. "you called for me?", oh that smile was a fake one " Of course,have a seat". wait why am I acting like the 'lady of the house?', I shook my head to do away with the stupid thoughts and focus on what I was about to say. "Thank you for helping me out,I sincerely appreciate your kindness, but in this day and age I've come to understand that nothing goes for nothing, so I'd like you to be very sincere and state the reason you went through all the trouble to make sure I survive". I knew I was being ridiculous, but don't blame me. Coming across slimy things like my mum..sorry Susan and then Kelvin,I started to have trust issues. " I didn't have a reason, I just helped like a normal human should ". For some reason he couldn't look at me directly and did I hear the first part correctly? " Didn't?" "Yes" "so that means you want me to repay your kindness". I asked with a raised brow. " Not exactly, the thing is..... " like I knew it, I closed my eyes calmly and interrupted him "State the amount" "Huh,you think I did all these for money?" "What else would you do it for, to sleep with me?", it was taking much efforts to control my self control. " Huh,you think I'm that low?" "What should I rather think?" "Just fucking answer my questions outrightly and stop avoiding them with nonsensical questions". OK so why is he angry? " Is this the thank you I deserve for saving your life?,calling me a pervert?",oh so that's why he's angry. "I already said thank you" "Wow, this is exactly what I get for being a good person and taking responsibilities for the first time,this is what I get when I try to make up for my mistakes, this is precisely what I get...". He was talking to the room at large,I had to remind him that he was thinking aloud again " What mistakes are you talking about?" "Never mind,it's none of your business anyway. just get well soon so we can go our separate ways". He marched out of the room. " I'm leaving first thing tomorrow, if there's anyway I could repay my debts apart from sex,then I'll be glad to oblige". He froze at the entrance and turned around, I could see flashes of anger in his eyes. "If you really want to repay your debts,marry me!". He left before I could comprehend what he said. Marriage?, is this guy nuts?, is that even a way to propose marriage?. My head was spinning again. I could only sit down and put down a few things with the pencil and pink pocketbook I found in the room. I opened a fresh page and wrote down all my experiences that were missing from my previous diary. Even after an hour of extreme writing, I still didn't feel better,I came out of the bedroom and wandered my around the huge mansion till I found his study. The door was ajar and soft light filtered it's way through the opening, I perceived cigarettes and shattering sounds. Then I became worried. I cautiously went into the room,it was partly trashed. Shattered glasses where everywhere, discarded, torn and squeezed papers were lying allover. I bent over and picked one due to curiosity: I hate it! I want to end it! The fear and anger and pain I'm feeling I want to end it all And just feel numb But I'm not sure I can do it! ********** What in the world is wrong with this guy?,first a marriage proposal out of the blue then this?. I could not comprehend went wrong with the cool,calm always smiling Mr. Gorgeous. I coughed slightly at the strong odor of the cigarette he was smoking and he turned around to face me worriedly. "What's wrong, are you OK?". He hurriedly went to pour me a glass of water. I was touched by his sincerity, even if he was in his own hell,he still cared about me. " Can I ask a favour?" I asked as I perched on a chair. "Sure, do you need anything?, I'll have Joe get them ready for you"
