Liu Bei POV
“She left. A letter came from her mother in the north and she has gone to see her mother.”
“Where to? Luoyang? Chang’an?”
I shook my head, “To Xuchang.”
…
When she heard this, Liao Hua sank into silence. She should have realised what I meant and decided against asking any further.
“That really can’t be helped.” Liao Hua said after a long pause.
“Un…” I smiled stiffly and nodded at Liao Hua as I looked at her, “But for Yuan Zhi, it might be a good thing to go to Xuchang. There’s nothing bad about living a peaceful life as a petty official after all.”
“Who knows?” Liao Hua said with a doubtful tone as she shrugged.
“Eh? What do you mean?”
“My lord, do you think that Lord Xu Shu really wanted to go to Xuchang?”
“Ah… That’s…” I was rendered speechless for a short while but then managed to find an answer for a short moment, “I think she does. Her mother is there and she can live an easy and peaceful life. Yuan Zhi once told me that those were the 2 things she coveted.”
“Is that really the case?”
“Eh?” I looked up at her when she questioned me again and saw that she was squinting at the floor.
“I may not be very close with Lord Xu Shu nor have I worked with her much but I do know 1 thing about her. That is, Lord Xu Shu is searching for something as well.”
“… Searching for something?”
“Un,” Liao Hua nodded, “Perhaps Lord Xu Shu was as you said and doesn’t have any lofty ambitions. Even so, she was still seeking her own path. In her eyes, I could still see the faint embers of a fire that was nearly extinguished.”
“Searching for her path huh…”
I thought back while keeping in mind what Liao Hua just said. Indeed, during the final battle, I could feel Yuan Zhi’s vigor and energy. There was no sign of fatigue at all from her, only bravery and intellect.
In comparison to her, Feng Xian seemed to be tired during the battle as she preferred peace after all.
But why is that? Why does a girl who just wants to be a petty official and fulfill her filial duties have such strength and zealousness?
“Does my lord still not understand?”
“…” I remained silent, feeling deeply troubled by our conversation.
“Hai,” Liao Hua gave an exasperated sigh as she looked at me, “Did Lord Xu Shu really want to leave?”
“Of course she–” I said but the words stopped short and I lowered my head and only continued after a long while, “Of course, she was forced to in some way but it really couldn’t have been helped.”
Her mother was in Xuchang after all. She had to go. And Liao Hua, stop looking at me like that. Nothing can change now.
“What Lord Xu Shu thinks is one thing. My lord, did you even try to get her to say back then?”
Wu! I really could not say anything in response as I did not even try.
“Even if I did, it would only have troubled her.”
“But did Lord Xu Shu hope that you would try to make her stay?”
“… I don’t know.”
“If you tried, what was the probability that she would have stayed?”
“… I don’t know.” I shook my head once more. I was honestly exhausted by now and I do not want to regret further now that nothing can be done.
“… I think I spoke too much. This isn’t like me.” Liao Hua seemed to have detected that I was pleading with her to stop by now and shrugged before saluting and bowing to me, “I don’t really know Lord Xu Shu to begin with so please forgive me, my lord, for speaking out of turn before.”
“No, it’s fine.” I said as I bit my lips and shook my head, enduring the pain in my heart and doing my best to appear unfazed even though I knew it was impossible.
“That’s it then.” Liao Hua sighed as she shook her sleeves, “I have other things to attend to so if my lord has no further business with me, I’ll be…”
“Ah, un. Go on. I’ll be heading to the main hall.” I nodded. Liao Hua saluted once more and took 2 steps back before turning to leave.
As I looked at Liao Hua’s back, I heaved a sigh of relief and then turned to the main hall.
Hu… I was not calm but I had to quickly get my feelings in order now. There is more than enough time in future to indulge in anguish and regret over what happened to Yuan Zhi. Right now, I have more important things to attend to.
On the way to the main hall, I tidied my clothing and when I made my way to the door, I found that it was closed and did a final check before I cleared my throat.
Ahem.
This was to let the occupant in the room notice my presence and I soon raised my hand and knocked on the door.
*Dang* *Dang* *Dang*
After I knocked, there was no reply from the room but I could feel that there was indeed someone in the room and merely waited patiently without knocking further.
“… Please come in.” A deep, male voice came from inside the room. There are not any other men around me so it was easy for me to recognise this voice.
“Yes.” I said as I opened the door.
As I entered the room, I saw that there was a man sitting in the center. His hair was tied back and he was sitting upright with a bamboo scroll in his hands, seeming unaffected by the world around him. Hermit scholars really give off a different aura compared to others.
I saluted him and slowly made my way over, “Teacher Sima, it really has been a while since we’ve met.”
“Hahaha, long time no see.” Sima Hui laughed just as I finished and put down his scroll as he replied.
“Please sit.” He said as he gestured to me. I nodded and seated opposite of Sima Hui, feeling calmer as I looked at him. Sima Hui on the other hand beamed as he looked at me as though I were a long lost friend.
“It’s been 2 months since we last met.”
“Yes,” He nodded as he leaned forward slightly, “The weather has become warmer now and it feels like it’s been a long time since I’ve seen you, Xuan De. You’ve really changed.”
“Changed?”
“Un, you look a lot healthier and your body looks sturdier as well.”
“Hahaha, I did just come back to life back then after all.”
“Hahaha, I suppose so.”
Looks like it was not my misconception that I had become stronger after all. Zi Long’s training has indeed paid off.
“Let’s not talk abot me. Teacher Sima doesn’t seem to have changed at all.”
“Me?” Sima Hua said as he pointed to himself and I nodded.
He still talks in the same calm and relaxed manner and exudes an easing aura. His beard and hairstyle has not changed at all either. And there are also few men I interact with so I take extra notice of them when I do.
“How is Teacher Sima these days? Living an easy life?”
“Yes, yes indeed.” Sima Hui nodded and smiled as he stroked his beard, “It’s not like my life is exciting at all in the first place.”
“Haha, don’t say that.” I frowned and smiled stiffly, “I admire Teacher Sima’s life as a hermit scholar to be honest.”
“Aiya, being a hermit scholar isn’t something enviable at all.”
Un? I thought that Sima Hui would laugh in response but he frowned and seemed rather serious in his reply.
“Being a hermit scholar is not easy at all.” Sima Hui continued, “One has to continually increase one’s knowledge of various subjects while tending to one’s crops. Additionally, one has to be very careful in one’s social interactions. Us hermit scholars have our own network of peers.”
Sima Hui was rather serious in his answer but it feels like his worries do not seem very different from that of a normal life.
“But even so, Teacher Sima is willing to live the life of a hermit scholar right?”
…
When I finished, Sima Hui smiled and looked at me as he shrugged before taking a sip from a bowl of water nearby, “I suppose. But living alone is becoming difficult, especially during the spring planting. I’m beginning to find it difficult to do.”
“Eh? Alone?” I was stunned and then realised something as I looked about, “Ah… Why didn’t Xiang Lang come along with you?”
Liu Bei POV
“She left. A letter came from her mother in the north and she has gone to see her mother.”
“Where to? Luoyang? Chang’an?”
I shook my head, “To Xuchang.”
…
When she heard this, Liao Hua sank into silence. She should have realised what I meant and decided against asking any further.
“That really can’t be helped.” Liao Hua said after a long pause.
“Un…” I smiled stiffly and nodded at Liao Hua as I looked at her, “But for Yuan Zhi, it might be a good thing to go to Xuchang. There’s nothing bad about living a peaceful life as a petty official after all.”
“Who knows?” Liao Hua said with a doubtful tone as she shrugged.
“Eh? What do you mean?”
“My lord, do you think that Lord Xu Shu really wanted to go to Xuchang?”
“Ah… That’s…” I was rendered speechless for a short while but then managed to find an answer for a short moment, “I think she does. Her mother is there and she can live an easy and peaceful life. Yuan Zhi once told me that those were the 2 things she coveted.”
“Is that really the case?”
“Eh?” I looked up at her when she questioned me again and saw that she was squinting at the floor.
“I may not be very close with Lord Xu Shu nor have I worked with her much but I do know 1 thing about her. That is, Lord Xu Shu is searching for something as well.”
“… Searching for something?”
“Un,” Liao Hua nodded, “Perhaps Lord Xu Shu was as you said and doesn’t have any lofty ambitions. Even so, she was still seeking her own path. In her eyes, I could still see the faint embers of a fire that was nearly extinguished.”
“Searching for her path huh…”
I thought back while keeping in mind what Liao Hua just said. Indeed, during the final battle, I could feel Yuan Zhi’s vigor and energy. There was no sign of fatigue at all from her, only bravery and intellect.
In comparison to her, Feng Xian seemed to be tired during the battle as she preferred peace after all.
But why is that? Why does a girl who just wants to be a petty official and fulfill her filial duties have such strength and zealousness?
“Does my lord still not understand?”
“…” I remained silent, feeling deeply troubled by our conversation.
“Hai,” Liao Hua gave an exasperated sigh as she looked at me, “Did Lord Xu Shu really want to leave?”
“Of course she–” I said but the words stopped short and I lowered my head and only continued after a long while, “Of course, she was forced to in some way but it really couldn’t have been helped.”
Her mother was in Xuchang after all. She had to go. And Liao Hua, stop looking at me like that. Nothing can change now.
“What Lord Xu Shu thinks is one thing. My lord, did you even try to get her to say back then?”
Wu! I really could not say anything in response as I did not even try.
“Even if I did, it would only have troubled her.”
“But did Lord Xu Shu hope that you would try to make her stay?”
“… I don’t know.”
“If you tried, what was the probability that she would have stayed?”
“… I don’t know.” I shook my head once more. I was honestly exhausted by now and I do not want to regret further now that nothing can be done.
“… I think I spoke too much. This isn’t like me.” Liao Hua seemed to have detected that I was pleading with her to stop by now and shrugged before saluting and bowing to me, “I don’t really know Lord Xu Shu to begin with so please forgive me, my lord, for speaking out of turn before.”
“No, it’s fine.” I said as I bit my lips and shook my head, enduring the pain in my heart and doing my best to appear unfazed even though I knew it was impossible.
“That’s it then.” Liao Hua sighed as she shook her sleeves, “I have other things to attend to so if my lord has no further business with me, I’ll be…”
“Ah, un. Go on. I’ll be heading to the main hall.” I nodded. Liao Hua saluted once more and took 2 steps back before turning to leave.
As I looked at Liao Hua’s back, I heaved a sigh of relief and then turned to the main hall.
Hu… I was not calm but I had to quickly get my feelings in order now. There is more than enough time in future to indulge in anguish and regret over what happened to Yuan Zhi. Right now, I have more important things to attend to.
On the way to the main hall, I tidied my clothing and when I made my way to the door, I found that it was closed and did a final check before I cleared my throat.
Ahem.
This was to let the occupant in the room notice my presence and I soon raised my hand and knocked on the door.
*Dang* *Dang* *Dang*
After I knocked, there was no reply from the room but I could feel that there was indeed someone in the room and merely waited patiently without knocking further.
“… Please come in.” A deep, male voice came from inside the room. There are not any other men around me so it was easy for me to recognise this voice.
“Yes.” I said as I opened the door.
As I entered the room, I saw that there was a man sitting in the center. His hair was tied back and he was sitting upright with a bamboo scroll in his hands, seeming unaffected by the world around him. Hermit scholars really give off a different aura compared to others.
I saluted him and slowly made my way over, “Teacher Sima, it really has been a while since we’ve met.”
“Hahaha, long time no see.” Sima Hui laughed just as I finished and put down his scroll as he replied.
“Please sit.” He said as he gestured to me. I nodded and seated opposite of Sima Hui, feeling calmer as I looked at him. Sima Hui on the other hand beamed as he looked at me as though I were a long lost friend.
“It’s been 2 months since we last met.”
“Yes,” He nodded as he leaned forward slightly, “The weather has become warmer now and it feels like it’s been a long time since I’ve seen you, Xuan De. You’ve really changed.”
“Changed?”
“Un, you look a lot healthier and your body looks sturdier as well.”
“Hahaha, I did just come back to life back then after all.”
“Hahaha, I suppose so.”
Looks like it was not my misconception that I had become stronger after all. Zi Long’s training has indeed paid off.
“Let’s not talk abot me. Teacher Sima doesn’t seem to have changed at all.”
“Me?” Sima Hua said as he pointed to himself and I nodded.
He still talks in the same calm and relaxed manner and exudes an easing aura. His beard and hairstyle has not changed at all either. And there are also few men I interact with so I take extra notice of them when I do.
“How is Teacher Sima these days? Living an easy life?”
“Yes, yes indeed.” Sima Hui nodded and smiled as he stroked his beard, “It’s not like my life is exciting at all in the first place.”
“Haha, don’t say that.” I frowned and smiled stiffly, “I admire Teacher Sima’s life as a hermit scholar to be honest.”
“Aiya, being a hermit scholar isn’t something enviable at all.”
Un? I thought that Sima Hui would laugh in response but he frowned and seemed rather serious in his reply.
“Being a hermit scholar is not easy at all.” Sima Hui continued, “One has to continually increase one’s knowledge of various subjects while tending to one’s crops. Additionally, one has to be very careful in one’s social interactions. Us hermit scholars have our own network of peers.”
Sima Hui was rather serious in his answer but it feels like his worries do not seem very different from that of a normal life.
“But even so, Teacher Sima is willing to live the life of a hermit scholar right?”
…
When I finished, Sima Hui smiled and looked at me as he shrugged before taking a sip from a bowl of water nearby, “I suppose. But living alone is becoming difficult, especially during the spring planting. I’m beginning to find it difficult to do.”
“Eh? Alone?” I was stunned and then realised something as I looked about, “Ah… Why didn’t Xiang Lang come along with you?”
