Meng De POV
In an instant, I lost all control of my body and my vision began to sway as the silk left my limp hands.
Seems like Cheng Yu and Feng Xiao are shouting but I can’t seem to even stand.
My vision went dark.
“You’re Dian Wei right?” I said as I put down the dispatch report in my hands and raised my head to look at the petite, mean-looking girl in front of me.
No, I can only say that she is short…
Looking at her breasts, I sighed internally.
“…” She didn’t speak, and stayed in a perfect bow without looking at me.
“Dian Wei, you should introduce yourself at least right.”
Come to think of it, such rigid fellows are really dying out huh. Every time a new officer comes before me, he/she will always brag about his/her achievements. In return, I would always question them as to why they are coming to such a provincial general like myself if they are so capable.
“May I ask where will I be reporting to?” She completely ignored what I said. Feels like she is more interested in being a foot soldier than an officer.
“Aiya, you don’t need to be in such a hurry. Standing around is tiring so have a seat first.”
“Yes.” She said as she sat down on a chair at the side as though she were executing a mission.
She really is rigid to a fault. And as I was thinking this, I began carefully sizing her up.
This person’s nature is very rigid and to the book. She neither makes a request nor does she flatter me, so much so that she is almost like a block of wood. It’s almost as if she thinks of nothing but war.
But though she was like this, I could sense some aspirations in her. Perhaps her ambitions were grounded by reality.
Keke, looks like she’s an interesting one.
“Meng De, what do you think?” Yuan Rang, who was standing beside me, tiptoed and whispered softly to me.
“Un, yes.” I covered my mouth with my sleeve, “Though I know nothing about her yet, I feel that she has a lot of potential in her.”
“… As expected of Meng De.” Yuan Rang nodded and gave an impressed smile, “I heard that when she served under Zhang Miao, she was able to carry a war banner that weighed as much as a person alone.”
Alone? That really is impressive.
I began to see Dian Wei in a new light, and her radiance made me even more fascinated with her.
“Zhang Miao is bad at recognising talent, and I seized the opportunity to transfer her here while the other feudal lords were executing personnel changes.” Yuan Rang smiled gleefully, as though she had found a great bargain while shopping.
“But I don’t recall Zhang Miao being such a mediocre leader? If it’s him, he should be able to see that she’s a talented warrior.”
“This is just a rumour.” Yuan Rang did not whisper but said the next words directly into my ears, “She seems to have a record.”
In our lingo, a record means that the person has committed murder.
I see…
I nodded twice as I finally understood. Looking at Dian Wei, who was still sitting up straight, she did not seem like she was burdened by her crime in the least.
If she can be that unperturbed, she is either a cold-blooded murderer or the one she killed deserved it.
“If you know she has a record, then why did you recruit her?” I said playfully to Yuan Rang as I put down my brush.
“Eh, don’t kid with me Meng De,” Yuan Rang said with an irritated look. Looks like she understands how I think after being with me for a while now, “Others may not know, but I do know that Meng De would not have come this far if you were someone who cares about such trifles.”
Haa. I nearly laughed out loud but I was able to stop myself in time.
I didn’t think my thoughts were so easy to read. As expected of Yuan Rang, if only Miao Cai has even a thousandth of that intuition of yours.
“Then, you’re planning to…”
I and Yuan Rang looked at her, who detected our gazes and looked up to meet our eyes.
“Seeing how she’s like, I think she was born to be an expendable warrior.” Yuan Rang commented as she rubbed her chin with gleaming eyes. It was rare for the very discerning Yuan Rang to be so taken with someone.
(TL: Raw mentions 死士 which is a type of warrior used for especially dangerous missions. One example would the famous Jing Ke who failed in the assassination of the Qin Shi Huang. Think Schwarzesmarken or Suicide Squad or Kamikaze.)
But.
“No it would be too wasteful to have her be an expendable warrior.” I said to Yuan Rang as I shook my head. “She is perfect material for a general.”
Of course, she will have to be trained. At the very least, she will have to change that wooden look of hers.
I stepped out from behind my table and made my way towards Dian Wei. When she saw me walking over, she swiftly got up and awaited my words.
From up close, I can see that there still remains a glimmer of radiance in Dian Wei’s eyes. And soon after, this radiance should fill her eyes.
As I thought so, I stretched out my hand towards Dian Wei.
“Join me.”
“Ah,” I moaned softly and struggled to open my eyes.
Was I dreaming?
I have the feeling that I was dreaming of something that happened in the past but I can’t remember what it was.
I looked out of the window and saw that the last remnants of sunlight from before had long since disappeared.
My head felt swollen and my vision was still blurry. This feeling was like the time when I did administrative work for 15 days consecutively. When I think about that time, it really is horrible.
I rubbed my forehead lightly before frowning.
What happened to me?
Aiya! I really can’t remember at all, could it be that I passed out from doing administrative work again? Or did I go overboard with wine?
“You’ve awoken my lord.” Cheng Yu’s voice came from below the bed.
Can’t she start a conversation from somewhere more normal?
“… Ah, yes I have.” I lightly tapped the boards with my other hand, “Can you tell me why I’m lying here?”
“…” Cheng Yu paused again. That does not bode well, “Lord Hua Tuo said that you got too agitated and have too much on your mind so you fainted–”
“I asked for the reason.” I interjected her non-answer as I tapped the boards once more, “Exactly what is it that led to me lying here…”
“General Dian Wei has passed away.” Before I could finish, Cheng Yu interrupted me and my hands which were about to tap the boards again stopped in mid-air.
It felt like time itself stood still.
Dian Wei was dead.
That sound reverberated between my ears over and over. Even though my mind was usually quick, it was now motionless and I was unable to understand what those words meant.
Gradually, the words on the silk letter delivered this morning came to my mind.
[Yesterday, General Zhang Xiu who had previously surrendered launched an attack at night. Colonel Dian Wei died from an arrow in the chaos. Zhang Xiu surrendered again the next day and our army is currently returning to Xuchang.]
Dian Wei is dead, from an arrow.
As the scene of my reading the silk floated up in my mind, I finally understood the meaning of those words.
“… Is that so,” I muttered under my breath. My vision was now clear, but I still could not see, “Dian Wei is gone huh.”
“Un, Dian Wei has passed away. She died on the battlefield.” Cheng Yu’s voice was unbelievably calm but I can’t see her face so I don’t know if her expression matches her voice, “And Zhang Xiu has been detained and will be brought to Xuchang soon. She will be here by tomorrow so when the time comes, please don’t be too…”
“I know, I will act accordingly.” I raised my volume, though I know that these words were more for myself than her, “If there’s nothing else, you can rest for the night.”
Cheng Yu did not reply, but she should have left already.
But that’s just what I’m hoping for as I have not checked below the bed. If she’s still here, then it will reflect poorly on me if she sees how terrible I’m looking now.
The next day when I heard that Zhang Xiu was now in Xuchang, I got prepared as soon as I awoke and hurriedly got into a carriage as I headed to the prison to see her.
Feng Xiao came along with me as well.
“How does my lord poan to deal with Zhang Xiu?” Feng Xiao looked ahead with glazed over eyes as she sat on my left, “Are you going to kill her?”
“What do you think?”
“You should kill her. Dian Wei is dead and anything less than Zhang Xiu’s death will not appease the other generals.” Feng Xiao said as she continued to look ahead and rested her head on the window, looking like she was about to sleep.
It was still early in the morning and the sun had barely begun to rise. Most of the residents of the city were still asleep and there were few on the streets. Feng Xiao has a weak constitution to begin with so her tiredness is understandable.
“Is that really what you think?” I smiled thinly as I flipped the question back on Feng Xiao.
“What does my lord mean?” Feng Xiao’s neck bent down the other war and leaned on my shoulder.
“Zhang Xiu cannot be killed.” I said as I calmly shut my eyes, “I will definitely face Ben Chu on the battlefield eventually. Zhang Xiu has a large army and ample supplies. Both I and Ben Chu need her. Now that she is here, I cannot let go of this opportunity.”
After I finished, Feng Xiao gave a wry smile. “So cold-blooded, my lord.”
“I’m just saying the correct answer you are looking for.” I said as I supported my chin with my hand and looked outside the window in a daze.
Xuchang was typically a bustling city but it was very quiet at this time. Almost as if it were mourning Dian Wei.
I wanted to give Dian Wei a grand funeral but this was not possible. Though Dian Wei was a general, her rank was only that of a Colonel.
(TL: It’s just like in present times. Military rank and appointment differs. Though their rank may be low, junior officers may get prestigious appointments.)
Her rank was too low and I will be unable to give her a funeral befitting of a general. If I do it anyway, I will likely be the subject of scorn and gossip in the Imperial Court.
And being the subject of gossip and scorn is extremely troublesome.
(TL: You might think this is ridiculous. But Cao Cao is essentially ruling by “fear” – If she loses that fear, she will lose control of the Imperial Court. Apart from a strong core of loyalists, most of the officials are not loyal to Cao Cao.)
The carriage master gave the order to the horse and th carriage stopped. The journey from my mansion to the prison is not a short one, but this particular trip seems to be the fastest.
“My lord, you must always remember,” Just as I was about to alight, Feng Xiao called out to me softly, “You are the lord.”
“…” I only replied her with a smile. I’d understood the logic behind this reasoning ever since I began raising an army in Chen Liu after all.
Feng Xiao did not alight with me, and she remained sitting quietly on the carriage. As she was looking out of the window, I could not see what her expression is like now.
“Let go of me!”
Just as I alighted, Xu Chu’s delicate wail rang out. The prison was very large but it was clear that her voice came from inside.
An ominous feeling surged in my heart as I hurriedly walked in with 2 attendants.
“Oi! Xu Chu, what do you think you’re doing?!” The moment I walked in, I saw the furious figure of Xu Chu as expected. She held a large axe in her hands and was charging at Zhang Xiu. It was a good thing that Yuan Rang and Miao Cai were there to stop her, and they held her back as she slashed about violently, leaving deep cuts in the stone walls but unable to reach Zhang Xiu.
“Hu Chi!”
“Ah! My lord… My lord!” She only realised I was here when I called her by her courtesy name and she flung aside Yuan Rang and Miao Cai before running to me. Her face had already become a mess from crying, “Please, please avenge xiao E! Kill Zhang Xiu for me!”
“…” She tugged at my sleeve and had a look of such sheer, utter despair that I couldn’t even muster a smile.
“Why… Why did she have to die?” Xu Chu hung her head low as she sank to her knees and muttered tearfully, “I successfully finished the mission of protecting our lord and was hoping to be praised by xiao E. Even though I tried so hard… But… Why…”
“… I understand how you feel,” I rubbed Hu Chi’s forehead delicately, “But this is a time of war and chaos, death is commonplace.”
“But why did it have to be xiao E! Why wasn’t it this despicable Zhang Xiu instead!” She roared out in such a sonorous voice that my heart trembled with my ears and I couldn’t help but to frown. I looked over at Yuan Rang and Miao Cai and saw that they did not dare look over here and hung their heads low as they clenched their teeth.
I looked over to Zhang Xiu who was sitting on the side. She was sitting calmly in a seiza position. But that’s to be expected as she has no reason to feel guilt after all.
“… I understand what everyone thinks.” I adjusted my feelings and delivered the decision I intended to make from the very beginning, “But Zhang Xiu cannot be killed. Not now at least.”
“My lord!”
“Hu Chi, don’t say anymore…” I shrugged off Hu Chi’s hands and turned around before continuing in a calmer and more level voice, “I am adamant on this. Don’t… Ah, don’t bring this up again.”
As I said so, I clenched my teeth as I walked briskly out of the prison, ignoring the pleas to stay from the 3 behind me.
I hate myself. Because I still couldn’t hold back from choking on the words I just said.
To avoid being laughed at by Feng Xiao, I decided to walk back to my mansion since it was still not dark out.
“Ah… I forgot to speak with Zhang Xiu.” When I reached my room, I tapped my head as I remembered the business I forgot to attend to. I shook my head and sat down on my bed.
It’s because of things like this that I’m unwilling to get too close with everyone.
It gets in the way of doing things.
*Dong* *Dong* *Dong* 3 knocks sounded on the door.
Who could it be at this time?
“Enter.” I tidied up my clothing and opened my eyes at the figure who just entered, “Un? It’s Xu Huang huh.”
(TL: New character, has an illustration.)
“My lord, I have returned.” She walked over as she said so and took out a letter, “Here.”
“Un? Thi is…” I received the letter with my hands as I inquired her.
“It’s Dian Wei’s personal combat report.”
My hands stiffened for a moment before taking the letter.
“Is that so…” I looked at the silk in my hands and could see that the writing was indeed that of Dian Wei’s.
She didn’t know how to write at first but she worked hard, and her writings seemed to have improved tremendously recently.
I felt sorrowful once more as I thought of this.
“I’ll be excusing myself.” Xu Huang said and bowed before exiting my room.
If it’s one good thing about Xu Huang, it’s that she never asks, hears or does what she doesn’t need to. This, and her tactfulness, are unique qualities amongst all my warrior generals.
Only after she left did I began to read the silk tissue.
Dian Wei began the report directly about the campaign and the goings-on. I’d thought that the long report would be entirely about military affairs but from the second page, the content became something like that from a diary.
[On the campaign, I’ll stop here for now. For some reason, I have an awful lot of things that I would usually be hesitant to tell my lord which I want to communicate here.
Please allow me to share some of my personal thoughts here today.
I don’t know if my lord knows, but I killed a local squire and I joined the army thereafter when I left my village. I’d wanted to accomplish something for myself then but I didn’t expect that the world had become so thoroughly chaotic and rotten.
Those with talent are unable to serve while those without hold the reins of power. I don’t dare to think too much of myself, but I wish to contribute and, at the very least, see the Central Plains become peaceful once more.
I’d sunk into despair and arrived at the conclusion that perhaps dying on the battlefield wouldn’t be such a bad thing.
And it was then that I came to serve you, my lord, under the recommendation of General Xiahou Dun.
Does my lord still remember? What happened when I first came to your tent.
It’s shameful to say this but I’m not too smart and so I can’t really remember what happened then. Only the hand which my lord reached out to me, for which I am eternally grateful, is something I will always remember.
In that instant, I knew. That my lord had grasped my destiny. And I also believe that my lord can definitely change the world.
Just like how my lord changed me.
And though my lord never mentions it, I still believe my lord is pushing yourself too hard. My lord takes on everything and keeps it to yourself. Though my lord has emerged victorious time after time, it truly pains me to see your weak smile.
Perhaps, my lord should rely on us a little more. What we may be able to do may be limited, but at the very least, we can share your worries. I’m bad with words and I’m not very smart but I can listen to your complaints at least.
I am, after all, your E Lai.
Aiya, I’m starting to run out of things to write. I’ll be stopping here for now then.
As for the rest, I’ll be looking forward to speaking with you in person when I return to Xuchang.]
She signed off the letter not with Dian Wei, but with E Lai.
That was all there was to the letter, and I read it from beginning to end once more before folding the silk tissue.
“E Lai oh E Lai, your words are really untimely huh…” I laughed with a sigh as I looked at the silk tissue.
— My lord, though I’ve left Zhong Kang behind, please be extra careful in this period when I’m not around.
Just then, I recalled the last words Dian Wei left me with.
“… Cheng Yu? Xun Yu?” I called out twice, and only felt assured after nobody answered.
And finally, I cried.
Meng De POV
In an instant, I lost all control of my body and my vision began to sway as the silk left my limp hands.
Seems like Cheng Yu and Feng Xiao are shouting but I can’t seem to even stand.
My vision went dark.
“You’re Dian Wei right?” I said as I put down the dispatch report in my hands and raised my head to look at the petite, mean-looking girl in front of me.
No, I can only say that she is short…
Looking at her breasts, I sighed internally.
“…” She didn’t speak, and stayed in a perfect bow without looking at me.
“Dian Wei, you should introduce yourself at least right.”
Come to think of it, such rigid fellows are really dying out huh. Every time a new officer comes before me, he/she will always brag about his/her achievements. In return, I would always question them as to why they are coming to such a provincial general like myself if they are so capable.
“May I ask where will I be reporting to?” She completely ignored what I said. Feels like she is more interested in being a foot soldier than an officer.
“Aiya, you don’t need to be in such a hurry. Standing around is tiring so have a seat first.”
“Yes.” She said as she sat down on a chair at the side as though she were executing a mission.
She really is rigid to a fault. And as I was thinking this, I began carefully sizing her up.
This person’s nature is very rigid and to the book. She neither makes a request nor does she flatter me, so much so that she is almost like a block of wood. It’s almost as if she thinks of nothing but war.
But though she was like this, I could sense some aspirations in her. Perhaps her ambitions were grounded by reality.
Keke, looks like she’s an interesting one.
“Meng De, what do you think?” Yuan Rang, who was standing beside me, tiptoed and whispered softly to me.
“Un, yes.” I covered my mouth with my sleeve, “Though I know nothing about her yet, I feel that she has a lot of potential in her.”
“… As expected of Meng De.” Yuan Rang nodded and gave an impressed smile, “I heard that when she served under Zhang Miao, she was able to carry a war banner that weighed as much as a person alone.”
Alone? That really is impressive.
I began to see Dian Wei in a new light, and her radiance made me even more fascinated with her.
“Zhang Miao is bad at recognising talent, and I seized the opportunity to transfer her here while the other feudal lords were executing personnel changes.” Yuan Rang smiled gleefully, as though she had found a great bargain while shopping.
“But I don’t recall Zhang Miao being such a mediocre leader? If it’s him, he should be able to see that she’s a talented warrior.”
“This is just a rumour.” Yuan Rang did not whisper but said the next words directly into my ears, “She seems to have a record.”
In our lingo, a record means that the person has committed murder.
I see…
I nodded twice as I finally understood. Looking at Dian Wei, who was still sitting up straight, she did not seem like she was burdened by her crime in the least.
If she can be that unperturbed, she is either a cold-blooded murderer or the one she killed deserved it.
“If you know she has a record, then why did you recruit her?” I said playfully to Yuan Rang as I put down my brush.
“Eh, don’t kid with me Meng De,” Yuan Rang said with an irritated look. Looks like she understands how I think after being with me for a while now, “Others may not know, but I do know that Meng De would not have come this far if you were someone who cares about such trifles.”
Haa. I nearly laughed out loud but I was able to stop myself in time.
I didn’t think my thoughts were so easy to read. As expected of Yuan Rang, if only Miao Cai has even a thousandth of that intuition of yours.
“Then, you’re planning to…”
I and Yuan Rang looked at her, who detected our gazes and looked up to meet our eyes.
“Seeing how she’s like, I think she was born to be an expendable warrior.” Yuan Rang commented as she rubbed her chin with gleaming eyes. It was rare for the very discerning Yuan Rang to be so taken with someone.
(TL: Raw mentions 死士 which is a type of warrior used for especially dangerous missions. One example would the famous Jing Ke who failed in the assassination of the Qin Shi Huang. Think Schwarzesmarken or Suicide Squad or Kamikaze.)
But.
“No it would be too wasteful to have her be an expendable warrior.” I said to Yuan Rang as I shook my head. “She is perfect material for a general.”
Of course, she will have to be trained. At the very least, she will have to change that wooden look of hers.
I stepped out from behind my table and made my way towards Dian Wei. When she saw me walking over, she swiftly got up and awaited my words.
From up close, I can see that there still remains a glimmer of radiance in Dian Wei’s eyes. And soon after, this radiance should fill her eyes.
As I thought so, I stretched out my hand towards Dian Wei.
“Join me.”
“Ah,” I moaned softly and struggled to open my eyes.
Was I dreaming?
I have the feeling that I was dreaming of something that happened in the past but I can’t remember what it was.
I looked out of the window and saw that the last remnants of sunlight from before had long since disappeared.
My head felt swollen and my vision was still blurry. This feeling was like the time when I did administrative work for 15 days consecutively. When I think about that time, it really is horrible.
I rubbed my forehead lightly before frowning.
What happened to me?
Aiya! I really can’t remember at all, could it be that I passed out from doing administrative work again? Or did I go overboard with wine?
“You’ve awoken my lord.” Cheng Yu’s voice came from below the bed.
Can’t she start a conversation from somewhere more normal?
“… Ah, yes I have.” I lightly tapped the boards with my other hand, “Can you tell me why I’m lying here?”
“…” Cheng Yu paused again. That does not bode well, “Lord Hua Tuo said that you got too agitated and have too much on your mind so you fainted–”
“I asked for the reason.” I interjected her non-answer as I tapped the boards once more, “Exactly what is it that led to me lying here…”
“General Dian Wei has passed away.” Before I could finish, Cheng Yu interrupted me and my hands which were about to tap the boards again stopped in mid-air.
It felt like time itself stood still.
Dian Wei was dead.
That sound reverberated between my ears over and over. Even though my mind was usually quick, it was now motionless and I was unable to understand what those words meant.
Gradually, the words on the silk letter delivered this morning came to my mind.
[Yesterday, General Zhang Xiu who had previously surrendered launched an attack at night. Colonel Dian Wei died from an arrow in the chaos. Zhang Xiu surrendered again the next day and our army is currently returning to Xuchang.]
Dian Wei is dead, from an arrow.
As the scene of my reading the silk floated up in my mind, I finally understood the meaning of those words.
“… Is that so,” I muttered under my breath. My vision was now clear, but I still could not see, “Dian Wei is gone huh.”
“Un, Dian Wei has passed away. She died on the battlefield.” Cheng Yu’s voice was unbelievably calm but I can’t see her face so I don’t know if her expression matches her voice, “And Zhang Xiu has been detained and will be brought to Xuchang soon. She will be here by tomorrow so when the time comes, please don’t be too…”
“I know, I will act accordingly.” I raised my volume, though I know that these words were more for myself than her, “If there’s nothing else, you can rest for the night.”
Cheng Yu did not reply, but she should have left already.
But that’s just what I’m hoping for as I have not checked below the bed. If she’s still here, then it will reflect poorly on me if she sees how terrible I’m looking now.
The next day when I heard that Zhang Xiu was now in Xuchang, I got prepared as soon as I awoke and hurriedly got into a carriage as I headed to the prison to see her.
Feng Xiao came along with me as well.
“How does my lord poan to deal with Zhang Xiu?” Feng Xiao looked ahead with glazed over eyes as she sat on my left, “Are you going to kill her?”
“What do you think?”
“You should kill her. Dian Wei is dead and anything less than Zhang Xiu’s death will not appease the other generals.” Feng Xiao said as she continued to look ahead and rested her head on the window, looking like she was about to sleep.
It was still early in the morning and the sun had barely begun to rise. Most of the residents of the city were still asleep and there were few on the streets. Feng Xiao has a weak constitution to begin with so her tiredness is understandable.
“Is that really what you think?” I smiled thinly as I flipped the question back on Feng Xiao.
“What does my lord mean?” Feng Xiao’s neck bent down the other war and leaned on my shoulder.
“Zhang Xiu cannot be killed.” I said as I calmly shut my eyes, “I will definitely face Ben Chu on the battlefield eventually. Zhang Xiu has a large army and ample supplies. Both I and Ben Chu need her. Now that she is here, I cannot let go of this opportunity.”
After I finished, Feng Xiao gave a wry smile. “So cold-blooded, my lord.”
“I’m just saying the correct answer you are looking for.” I said as I supported my chin with my hand and looked outside the window in a daze.
Xuchang was typically a bustling city but it was very quiet at this time. Almost as if it were mourning Dian Wei.
I wanted to give Dian Wei a grand funeral but this was not possible. Though Dian Wei was a general, her rank was only that of a Colonel.
(TL: It’s just like in present times. Military rank and appointment differs. Though their rank may be low, junior officers may get prestigious appointments.)
Her rank was too low and I will be unable to give her a funeral befitting of a general. If I do it anyway, I will likely be the subject of scorn and gossip in the Imperial Court.
And being the subject of gossip and scorn is extremely troublesome.
(TL: You might think this is ridiculous. But Cao Cao is essentially ruling by “fear” – If she loses that fear, she will lose control of the Imperial Court. Apart from a strong core of loyalists, most of the officials are not loyal to Cao Cao.)
The carriage master gave the order to the horse and th carriage stopped. The journey from my mansion to the prison is not a short one, but this particular trip seems to be the fastest.
“My lord, you must always remember,” Just as I was about to alight, Feng Xiao called out to me softly, “You are the lord.”
“…” I only replied her with a smile. I’d understood the logic behind this reasoning ever since I began raising an army in Chen Liu after all.
Feng Xiao did not alight with me, and she remained sitting quietly on the carriage. As she was looking out of the window, I could not see what her expression is like now.
“Let go of me!”
Just as I alighted, Xu Chu’s delicate wail rang out. The prison was very large but it was clear that her voice came from inside.
An ominous feeling surged in my heart as I hurriedly walked in with 2 attendants.
“Oi! Xu Chu, what do you think you’re doing?!” The moment I walked in, I saw the furious figure of Xu Chu as expected. She held a large axe in her hands and was charging at Zhang Xiu. It was a good thing that Yuan Rang and Miao Cai were there to stop her, and they held her back as she slashed about violently, leaving deep cuts in the stone walls but unable to reach Zhang Xiu.
“Hu Chi!”
“Ah! My lord… My lord!” She only realised I was here when I called her by her courtesy name and she flung aside Yuan Rang and Miao Cai before running to me. Her face had already become a mess from crying, “Please, please avenge xiao E! Kill Zhang Xiu for me!”
“…” She tugged at my sleeve and had a look of such sheer, utter despair that I couldn’t even muster a smile.
“Why… Why did she have to die?” Xu Chu hung her head low as she sank to her knees and muttered tearfully, “I successfully finished the mission of protecting our lord and was hoping to be praised by xiao E. Even though I tried so hard… But… Why…”
“… I understand how you feel,” I rubbed Hu Chi’s forehead delicately, “But this is a time of war and chaos, death is commonplace.”
“But why did it have to be xiao E! Why wasn’t it this despicable Zhang Xiu instead!” She roared out in such a sonorous voice that my heart trembled with my ears and I couldn’t help but to frown. I looked over at Yuan Rang and Miao Cai and saw that they did not dare look over here and hung their heads low as they clenched their teeth.
I looked over to Zhang Xiu who was sitting on the side. She was sitting calmly in a seiza position. But that’s to be expected as she has no reason to feel guilt after all.
“… I understand what everyone thinks.” I adjusted my feelings and delivered the decision I intended to make from the very beginning, “But Zhang Xiu cannot be killed. Not now at least.”
“My lord!”
“Hu Chi, don’t say anymore…” I shrugged off Hu Chi’s hands and turned around before continuing in a calmer and more level voice, “I am adamant on this. Don’t… Ah, don’t bring this up again.”
As I said so, I clenched my teeth as I walked briskly out of the prison, ignoring the pleas to stay from the 3 behind me.
I hate myself. Because I still couldn’t hold back from choking on the words I just said.
To avoid being laughed at by Feng Xiao, I decided to walk back to my mansion since it was still not dark out.
“Ah… I forgot to speak with Zhang Xiu.” When I reached my room, I tapped my head as I remembered the business I forgot to attend to. I shook my head and sat down on my bed.
It’s because of things like this that I’m unwilling to get too close with everyone.
It gets in the way of doing things.
*Dong* *Dong* *Dong* 3 knocks sounded on the door.
Who could it be at this time?
“Enter.” I tidied up my clothing and opened my eyes at the figure who just entered, “Un? It’s Xu Huang huh.”
(TL: New character, has an illustration.)
“My lord, I have returned.” She walked over as she said so and took out a letter, “Here.”
“Un? Thi is…” I received the letter with my hands as I inquired her.
“It’s Dian Wei’s personal combat report.”
My hands stiffened for a moment before taking the letter.
“Is that so…” I looked at the silk in my hands and could see that the writing was indeed that of Dian Wei’s.
She didn’t know how to write at first but she worked hard, and her writings seemed to have improved tremendously recently.
I felt sorrowful once more as I thought of this.
“I’ll be excusing myself.” Xu Huang said and bowed before exiting my room.
If it’s one good thing about Xu Huang, it’s that she never asks, hears or does what she doesn’t need to. This, and her tactfulness, are unique qualities amongst all my warrior generals.
Only after she left did I began to read the silk tissue.
Dian Wei began the report directly about the campaign and the goings-on. I’d thought that the long report would be entirely about military affairs but from the second page, the content became something like that from a diary.
[On the campaign, I’ll stop here for now. For some reason, I have an awful lot of things that I would usually be hesitant to tell my lord which I want to communicate here.
Please allow me to share some of my personal thoughts here today.
I don’t know if my lord knows, but I killed a local squire and I joined the army thereafter when I left my village. I’d wanted to accomplish something for myself then but I didn’t expect that the world had become so thoroughly chaotic and rotten.
Those with talent are unable to serve while those without hold the reins of power. I don’t dare to think too much of myself, but I wish to contribute and, at the very least, see the Central Plains become peaceful once more.
I’d sunk into despair and arrived at the conclusion that perhaps dying on the battlefield wouldn’t be such a bad thing.
And it was then that I came to serve you, my lord, under the recommendation of General Xiahou Dun.
Does my lord still remember? What happened when I first came to your tent.
It’s shameful to say this but I’m not too smart and so I can’t really remember what happened then. Only the hand which my lord reached out to me, for which I am eternally grateful, is something I will always remember.
In that instant, I knew. That my lord had grasped my destiny. And I also believe that my lord can definitely change the world.
Just like how my lord changed me.
And though my lord never mentions it, I still believe my lord is pushing yourself too hard. My lord takes on everything and keeps it to yourself. Though my lord has emerged victorious time after time, it truly pains me to see your weak smile.
Perhaps, my lord should rely on us a little more. What we may be able to do may be limited, but at the very least, we can share your worries. I’m bad with words and I’m not very smart but I can listen to your complaints at least.
I am, after all, your E Lai.
Aiya, I’m starting to run out of things to write. I’ll be stopping here for now then.
As for the rest, I’ll be looking forward to speaking with you in person when I return to Xuchang.]
She signed off the letter not with Dian Wei, but with E Lai.
That was all there was to the letter, and I read it from beginning to end once more before folding the silk tissue.
“E Lai oh E Lai, your words are really untimely huh…” I laughed with a sigh as I looked at the silk tissue.
— My lord, though I’ve left Zhong Kang behind, please be extra careful in this period when I’m not around.
Just then, I recalled the last words Dian Wei left me with.
“… Cheng Yu? Xun Yu?” I called out twice, and only felt assured after nobody answered.
And finally, I cried.
