Meng De POV
“Ben Chu, listen to me.” I said as I stepped towards her, “I went to that stream before and the currents are very strong. There are jagged rocks here and there and the grass grows deep in the river bed. If one should fall into the depths, they will sink very quickly.”
“… Meng De!” Ben Chu called out with a frown all of a sudden as though she were trying to scare me. But this was to no avail.
“The currents are less turbulent around midstream but the search parties found no sign of him there. Further downstream is a valley where one can only enter and there, the stream connects to the river. Even if one manages to stay alive till then, they will be exhausted and be unable to get to shore.”
“Meng, Meng De…” As she looked down at me, her eyebrows drooped and she backed up a few steps.
At this point, I was already beside her and looking at her face from up close. Only now did I find that, perhaps it was so from the very beginning, that her eyes were listless. As though she was lost.
I could not bear to keep looking at her as this was probably how I looked when I realised all this that I was telling her and took a few steps forward until my back was almost against hers.
Slowly, and cruelly, I delivered the final verdict to this girl who still held on to a delusion.
“Ben Chu–”
“Meng De! Don’t say–”
— Liu Bei Liu Xuan De is already dead.
I said these words slowly and carefully so that she would not mishear nor misunderstand me. And when I finally finished, I could feel an unbearable anxiety all over my body, which made me want to curl up and lie on the floor.
*Gudang*
A dull thud came from behind me. I did not need to turn back to confirm what had happened.
“… Xuan De… Is dead…” Ben Chu’s voice was very hollow, just like her eyes. She has probably been in this state for a few days now.
“… Wuu… *Shiku*… *Ke* *Ke*…” Soon after, her voice began to crackle and tearful wails began to leak out from her lips. It seemed like the pride and dignity of a high noble such as herself is unable to shield her from her sorrow.
“Ben Chu, that’s unsightly of you.” I said, without turning back. For now at least, I am willing to leave her some dignity. She probably does not want anyone to see what she looks like now.
Now that I think about it, if it were not for the shred of hope she had been clinging on to, she might have gone into a coma-like daze for longer than I did. Kekeke…
…
Kuh… Why? I thought I had forgotten.
But why, why am I still feeling sorrowful even now?
I balled up my fists so hard that my nails pierced the palms of my hands to force myself not to shed tears. The words I said to her just now, were also a final verdict to myself.
Perhaps I admire Ben Chu more than I thought. Because Ben Chu can indulge in some delusions and find a way to ease the pain.
But I am not Ben Chu, nor am I the Cao Meng De from before. Now, I must shatter any delusions I have as soon as possible, put aside my sorrow as soon as possible and act as fast as I can.
As I said so to myself, I closed my eyes to prevent myself from crying. I then slowly opened my eyes a moment later with my eyes a little wetter than before.
“Ben Chu, I know that your relationship with Xuan De is fairly good. I too had a good relationship with him.” I said, still not turning back, “Now that Xuan De is dead, shouldn’t you be pulling yourself together and working harder?”
“… I am.” Ben Chu replied in a tearful voice, though it was much better than before. As expected of a high noble, she recovers quickly.
*Da* *Da* Her shoes clattered as she stood up.
Sensing that it was about time, I turned back and looked at her. Though her eyes were still red, she seemed calm now and her noble and majestic expression was back up.
“Pulling myself together is one thing.” She said in her usual fashion, “Someone has to avenge Xuan De.”
I turned slightly as I listened to her speak and looked at her from the side. Her eyebrows were completely locked. From my experience with her, I have never seen her this angry before.
“Who killed Xuan De?” Ben Chu asked.
“Cai Mao,” I honestly replied as I stared into Ben Chu’s eyes, “A subordinate of Liu Biao, Governor of Jing state.”
When I finished, Ben Chu turned and made to leave immediately.
“Ben Chu! What are you going to do?” I hurriedly called out to her and grabbed her sleeve when I saw this.
“Is there a need to ask!” Ben Chu swung her hand vigorously but was not able to shake me off.
I stared into her anxious and irritated eyes and after a moment, she calmed down and lightly pulled her sleeve. When I saw this, I let go.
“I’m going to send in troops to dismember Cai Mao.” Her voice was calm but those words made my hair stand on end.
Dismember huh… I actually feel joy from these words.
I do not think that Ben Chu ever realised Xuan De’s potential to be a hero but I also never expected the aloof Ben Chu to become this emotional.
Xuan De, if you had not died, how interesting this world would have been…
But now, all I can do is put these aside and do what I need to.
“Ben Chu, I understand how you feel from the bottom of my heart. I too feel sad at Xuan De’s passing.” I did my best to remain as calm as possible so my words would not hurt myself, “Ben Chu, how many troops do you have garrisoned by the Yangtze?”
When I finished, Ben Chu did not reply immediately and looked up at the rafters.
“Meng De, what are you trying to say?” After a moment, she turned around, “We agreed back then when we entered into our alliance that we would keep our troop command rights separate. It’s not too good to ask a question like that, no?”
Ben Chu might have suffered a dire blow from Xuan De’s death but it seems like she’s still very cautious. So that Ben Chu would understand what I meant, I chose to respectfully salute her.
“Ben Chu, please assist me!”
“Assist you? In what?”
“To conquer the south.” I continued speaking in the respectful tone, “I need your troops to lay waste to Jing state.” I bowed before I continued, “My troops have begun to mobilise but the troops stationed south need more time before they are ready. The enemy to the south is numerous and strong–”
“Don’t say any further!” Ben Chu yelled as she looked up at the rafters. Seems like her anger from before has not subsided.
“I, Yuan Shao Yuan Ben Chu, am your, Cao Meng De’s, mortal enemy. Though we are in an alliance now, this does not mean that we can sit around and do things harmoniously. Naturally, this extends to military expeditions.” Ben Chu said and slowly lowered her head as she looked at me, “You go first or I will. If one side loses, the other will continue. That, is our fate.”
Hai… As expected huh–
“But!” Just as I was about to sigh and give up, Ben Chu unexpectedly continued and she turned around with a resolved look on her as she continued, “This time is an exception! I will fully support Meng De’s southern expedition!”
When she finished, she began to walk towards me. When I looked at her eyes, I saw that the usual dazzling gleam was back. Though tear streaks were still there, her strength and resolve were back.
As expected of Ben Chu huh?
“Meng De, of the troops you are mobilising, who is at the front now?”
“My sister Cao Ren, and General Li Dian.” I immediately replied respectfully.
When I finished, Ben Chu suddenly raised 1 hand and stuck out 3 fingers.
“The generals I have deployed to the north of Jing state are Lu Xiang and Lu Kuang. My Lead Attendant, Shen Pei Shen Zheng Nan, is currently heading south to support them.” As she said so, she put down 1 finger, “The troops they have under their command are 20,000. Is that enough?”
“That is indeed enough for a vanguard force.” I objectively admitted this and saluted her once more, “Many thanks to Ben Chu.”
I thought that Ben Chu was only going to reinforce my vanguard with about 5,000 or so. Cao Ren and Li Dian only have about 10,000 under their command currently after all.
“If you have any further manpower requests, you need not go through me. Just send someone to Ju Shou and Tian Feng. For supply matters, look for Feng Ji. I will let them know about this arrangement ahead of time so just proceed with your plans.” As she said so, she blinked and came over as she took out her small fan, “All I want is more control over the negotiation process. I leave the overall strategy and deployment operations to you. But you must take the entire state. How to divide it up between us will depend on how things end up then.”
“Ah~ That’s perfectly fine.” I replied meaningfully. Ben Chu ignored me and began fanning herself.
Ben Chu’s words were really surprising. I never thought she would ever give me full access to her troops.
*Pa* *Pa*
Just as I was thinking about this, Ben Chu tapped my shoulder with her fan.
“Remember this, Meng De.” Ben Chu said as she shook her head, “The reason why I’m doing this, is not to help you, but so I can answer to Xuan De in the netherworld. All this, is so I can right the wrong of Xuan De’s death.”
Meng De POV
“Ben Chu, listen to me.” I said as I stepped towards her, “I went to that stream before and the currents are very strong. There are jagged rocks here and there and the grass grows deep in the river bed. If one should fall into the depths, they will sink very quickly.”
“… Meng De!” Ben Chu called out with a frown all of a sudden as though she were trying to scare me. But this was to no avail.
“The currents are less turbulent around midstream but the search parties found no sign of him there. Further downstream is a valley where one can only enter and there, the stream connects to the river. Even if one manages to stay alive till then, they will be exhausted and be unable to get to shore.”
“Meng, Meng De…” As she looked down at me, her eyebrows drooped and she backed up a few steps.
At this point, I was already beside her and looking at her face from up close. Only now did I find that, perhaps it was so from the very beginning, that her eyes were listless. As though she was lost.
I could not bear to keep looking at her as this was probably how I looked when I realised all this that I was telling her and took a few steps forward until my back was almost against hers.
Slowly, and cruelly, I delivered the final verdict to this girl who still held on to a delusion.
“Ben Chu–”
“Meng De! Don’t say–”
— Liu Bei Liu Xuan De is already dead.
I said these words slowly and carefully so that she would not mishear nor misunderstand me. And when I finally finished, I could feel an unbearable anxiety all over my body, which made me want to curl up and lie on the floor.
*Gudang*
A dull thud came from behind me. I did not need to turn back to confirm what had happened.
“… Xuan De… Is dead…” Ben Chu’s voice was very hollow, just like her eyes. She has probably been in this state for a few days now.
“… Wuu… *Shiku*… *Ke* *Ke*…” Soon after, her voice began to crackle and tearful wails began to leak out from her lips. It seemed like the pride and dignity of a high noble such as herself is unable to shield her from her sorrow.
“Ben Chu, that’s unsightly of you.” I said, without turning back. For now at least, I am willing to leave her some dignity. She probably does not want anyone to see what she looks like now.
Now that I think about it, if it were not for the shred of hope she had been clinging on to, she might have gone into a coma-like daze for longer than I did. Kekeke…
…
Kuh… Why? I thought I had forgotten.
But why, why am I still feeling sorrowful even now?
I balled up my fists so hard that my nails pierced the palms of my hands to force myself not to shed tears. The words I said to her just now, were also a final verdict to myself.
Perhaps I admire Ben Chu more than I thought. Because Ben Chu can indulge in some delusions and find a way to ease the pain.
But I am not Ben Chu, nor am I the Cao Meng De from before. Now, I must shatter any delusions I have as soon as possible, put aside my sorrow as soon as possible and act as fast as I can.
As I said so to myself, I closed my eyes to prevent myself from crying. I then slowly opened my eyes a moment later with my eyes a little wetter than before.
“Ben Chu, I know that your relationship with Xuan De is fairly good. I too had a good relationship with him.” I said, still not turning back, “Now that Xuan De is dead, shouldn’t you be pulling yourself together and working harder?”
“… I am.” Ben Chu replied in a tearful voice, though it was much better than before. As expected of a high noble, she recovers quickly.
*Da* *Da* Her shoes clattered as she stood up.
Sensing that it was about time, I turned back and looked at her. Though her eyes were still red, she seemed calm now and her noble and majestic expression was back up.
“Pulling myself together is one thing.” She said in her usual fashion, “Someone has to avenge Xuan De.”
I turned slightly as I listened to her speak and looked at her from the side. Her eyebrows were completely locked. From my experience with her, I have never seen her this angry before.
“Who killed Xuan De?” Ben Chu asked.
“Cai Mao,” I honestly replied as I stared into Ben Chu’s eyes, “A subordinate of Liu Biao, Governor of Jing state.”
When I finished, Ben Chu turned and made to leave immediately.
“Ben Chu! What are you going to do?” I hurriedly called out to her and grabbed her sleeve when I saw this.
“Is there a need to ask!” Ben Chu swung her hand vigorously but was not able to shake me off.
I stared into her anxious and irritated eyes and after a moment, she calmed down and lightly pulled her sleeve. When I saw this, I let go.
“I’m going to send in troops to dismember Cai Mao.” Her voice was calm but those words made my hair stand on end.
Dismember huh… I actually feel joy from these words.
I do not think that Ben Chu ever realised Xuan De’s potential to be a hero but I also never expected the aloof Ben Chu to become this emotional.
Xuan De, if you had not died, how interesting this world would have been…
But now, all I can do is put these aside and do what I need to.
“Ben Chu, I understand how you feel from the bottom of my heart. I too feel sad at Xuan De’s passing.” I did my best to remain as calm as possible so my words would not hurt myself, “Ben Chu, how many troops do you have garrisoned by the Yangtze?”
When I finished, Ben Chu did not reply immediately and looked up at the rafters.
“Meng De, what are you trying to say?” After a moment, she turned around, “We agreed back then when we entered into our alliance that we would keep our troop command rights separate. It’s not too good to ask a question like that, no?”
Ben Chu might have suffered a dire blow from Xuan De’s death but it seems like she’s still very cautious. So that Ben Chu would understand what I meant, I chose to respectfully salute her.
“Ben Chu, please assist me!”
“Assist you? In what?”
“To conquer the south.” I continued speaking in the respectful tone, “I need your troops to lay waste to Jing state.” I bowed before I continued, “My troops have begun to mobilise but the troops stationed south need more time before they are ready. The enemy to the south is numerous and strong–”
“Don’t say any further!” Ben Chu yelled as she looked up at the rafters. Seems like her anger from before has not subsided.
“I, Yuan Shao Yuan Ben Chu, am your, Cao Meng De’s, mortal enemy. Though we are in an alliance now, this does not mean that we can sit around and do things harmoniously. Naturally, this extends to military expeditions.” Ben Chu said and slowly lowered her head as she looked at me, “You go first or I will. If one side loses, the other will continue. That, is our fate.”
Hai… As expected huh–
“But!” Just as I was about to sigh and give up, Ben Chu unexpectedly continued and she turned around with a resolved look on her as she continued, “This time is an exception! I will fully support Meng De’s southern expedition!”
When she finished, she began to walk towards me. When I looked at her eyes, I saw that the usual dazzling gleam was back. Though tear streaks were still there, her strength and resolve were back.
As expected of Ben Chu huh?
“Meng De, of the troops you are mobilising, who is at the front now?”
“My sister Cao Ren, and General Li Dian.” I immediately replied respectfully.
When I finished, Ben Chu suddenly raised 1 hand and stuck out 3 fingers.
“The generals I have deployed to the north of Jing state are Lu Xiang and Lu Kuang. My Lead Attendant, Shen Pei Shen Zheng Nan, is currently heading south to support them.” As she said so, she put down 1 finger, “The troops they have under their command are 20,000. Is that enough?”
“That is indeed enough for a vanguard force.” I objectively admitted this and saluted her once more, “Many thanks to Ben Chu.”
I thought that Ben Chu was only going to reinforce my vanguard with about 5,000 or so. Cao Ren and Li Dian only have about 10,000 under their command currently after all.
“If you have any further manpower requests, you need not go through me. Just send someone to Ju Shou and Tian Feng. For supply matters, look for Feng Ji. I will let them know about this arrangement ahead of time so just proceed with your plans.” As she said so, she blinked and came over as she took out her small fan, “All I want is more control over the negotiation process. I leave the overall strategy and deployment operations to you. But you must take the entire state. How to divide it up between us will depend on how things end up then.”
“Ah~ That’s perfectly fine.” I replied meaningfully. Ben Chu ignored me and began fanning herself.
Ben Chu’s words were really surprising. I never thought she would ever give me full access to her troops.
*Pa* *Pa*
Just as I was thinking about this, Ben Chu tapped my shoulder with her fan.
“Remember this, Meng De.” Ben Chu said as she shook her head, “The reason why I’m doing this, is not to help you, but so I can answer to Xuan De in the netherworld. All this, is so I can right the wrong of Xuan De’s death.”
