Liu Bei POV
But what she said makes sense. Even though we won the first battle, the enemy suffered losses that were far too grave that might have led to them using the tactics they did in the second battle. If they had only lost 5,000 troops in the first battle, they might have continued to underestimate us.
“So, because I felt that things had begun to differ from what I knew, so I made certain choices to ensure that this issue would be minimised in the second battle.”
“I see,” I nodded, “So you sent out Feng Xian as you felt that she would be stronger than the one who was supposed to be sent huh?”
“It is as you said, Xuan De. I wanted to take extra precautions during the second battle. But I never expected that the battle would end the way it did.” Yuan Zhi said as she looked at the stall beside hers despondently, “I know that it didn’t go as it was supposed to and I knew of the risks involved in the strategy employed, but I couldn’t change it… And in the end, this is how it ended up.”
I did not dare to ask any further as I stared at Yuan Zhi’s empty eyes. The atmosphere soon became awkward and some of the other questions I still had seemed to be a lot less important now after some startling reveals earlier. As for bringing Yuan Zhi back, I do not know if I should do so anymore as I have no idea how I should explain what she just told me and how I should explain the actions she took.
Zi Long for one would never accept it if I were to give her Yuan Zhi’s explanations as she has told it to me. Zi Long did not come from the future, nor did anyone else. In the end, they would think that Yuan Zhi has gone mad which is not an ideal scenario by far.
So I cannot leave, nor can I bring Yuan Zhi back. Of course, I cannot just let Yuan Zhi leave because of this as it would be even more difficult for me to explain things. As I looked at Yuan Zhi, I began to feel more and more frustrated. Yuan Zhi on the other hand seemed calm but she would look up at me from time to time.
Wu… She moaned when she reached up and found once again that her bandana was still missing.
“Ah,” I said as I took it out of my pocket, “Here.”
I had gotten too engrossed in the conversation before that I completely forgot to return this to her. Now that the conversation was at a roadblock and she needed it, I might as well use this chance to give it back.
“Ah…” Yuan Zhi slowly looked up at the bandana and at me, “You… This is…”
“I accidentally pulled it off back when you ran out and have been keeping it ever since. I forgot to return it to you at the start.” I said as I extended my hand to Yuan Zhi who hurriedly received it. When i released my grip and dropped the bandana into her hands, Yuan Zhi seemed like she was at ease.
“I thought I’d lost it somewhere…” Yuan Zhi said with a stiff smile. She must have been so anxious back then that she did not even notice that it was gone.
I thought that she would put it on immediately and then the atmosphere would return to an awkward one but she did not do so and continued to stare at it in her hands. I do not know why she is doing this but I think this probably has to do with the blood that has stained the bandana. However, I did not feel good about asking her directly and merely watched her quietly.
…
… *Shiku*…
Eh? Yuan Zhi began to sniffle and tremble as she lowered her face into the bandana she held in her hands. Looks like she’s reached her limits.
“I already said I couldn’t do it… I clearly couldn’t have done all this…” Yuan Zhi muttered over and over. However, I did not know how I ought to console he as I did not know what was up and could only lean over as I patted her shoulders.
“Yuan Zhi… Why so suddenly… What’s going on…” I asked as I patted her shoulders which seemed to be trembling harder than before. When I looked around, I saw that the surrounding passers-by were all looking over with suspicion. They are probably wondering what this weirdo wearing a strange hat is doing to a girl at a stall to make her cry.
“I can’t, I really can’t do anything. I shouldn’t have done anything.” Yuan Zhi continued in a tearful voice. In an instant, I realised that Yuan Zhi was only human even if she was a martial hero. Despite her cold and dazed countenance, it does not mean that she does not have any worries or that she does not feel fear.
“Yuan Zhi, it’s fine, it’s fine…” I consoled her with as kind a voice as I could muster and ignored the surrounding passers-by as I patted her back with 1 hand and brought the bowl of sugar water to her with another, “It’s fine, it’s fine, here, have something to drink.”
“… Un un.” Yuan Zhi continued to sniffle but she nodded and looked up as she took the bowl and took a small sip.
I did not dare to interrupt her and merely sat there wordlessly as I watched iver her. Because she was crying, her cheeks were red and so were her eyes. There were also tear streaks down her cheeks and she was still sniffling now and then. I felt my sleeve pocket and thanked Gong You and the rest for drilling into me the habit of bringing along a handkerchief when I found my white handkerchief which I hurriedly pulled out and passed to Yuan Zhi.
“… Thanks…” Yuan Zhi managed to thank me somehow and took my handkerchief with 1 hand while holding her red bandana with the other as she wiped her face, taking in deep breaths to calm herself down as she did so.
After that, I continued to remain silent. After about 2-3 minutes, Yuan Zhi’s breathing returned to normal and she seemed like she had calmed down.
“Are you feeling any better…”
Yuan Zhi nodded, “I’m sorry for acting up like that.” She said as she wiped her eyes with my handkerchief, “But the pressure on me in this period has been too much. I was just an ordinary villager living in the mountains before this and have never led troops nor have I been an official.”
She said all of this very calmly and smoothly without stammering, which meant that this was true. At the same time, I could feel like she was smiling bitterly inside as she said so.
“No… Everyone is the same, including me.”
I do not know if this is consolation enough but this is how I truly felt. And that is the truth, in fact, my circumstances were even worse than Yuan Zhi as I came from the future with insufficient knowledge of the past and I did not have anything useful with me either. I cannot quite say if I have adapted well enough but at least I am hanging on.
But after I finished, Yuan Zhi still did not react and continued to stare at the red bandana in her hands with her head lowered. After a few moments, she shook her head so lightly I almost did not notice it.
“No, not at all.” She said in a tone that made me realise that she was a lot more downcast than I imagined.
How could it be different? Or so I wanted to ask but felt that it would be inappropriate and decided to wait silently for her to continue.
After a few moments, Yuan Zhi continued to stare at the red bandana as she spoke up softly with a slightly nasal voice, “Xuan De, since you helped me to keep my bandana, you should have noticed something about it right?”
“Ah…” I did not expect that she would start to talk about this. I would not have noticed anything untoward about the bandana if I had not come out to look for Yuan Zhi. But since she found out, there is no need to hide it, “Un. The bandana is red because of… Blood right?”
“Yes.” Yuan Zhi answered softly, “This bandana is made from a torn piece of cloth from a thug I killed about 1-2 years back.”
When she finished, Yuan Hi took out a small knife and cut the stitchings, letting the bandana completely unravel. A bloodstained cloth appeared before me as it did so and I saw that it had been soaked with much blood which was not cleaned and some parts had become a pinkish red.
“Yuan Zhi has killed before?”
“Yes, I have.” Yuan Zhi said as she placed the cloth on the table and folded it until it returned to the form it was before and made to put it on but then put it back down on the table after a moment’s pause.
Liu Bei POV
But what she said makes sense. Even though we won the first battle, the enemy suffered losses that were far too grave that might have led to them using the tactics they did in the second battle. If they had only lost 5,000 troops in the first battle, they might have continued to underestimate us.
“So, because I felt that things had begun to differ from what I knew, so I made certain choices to ensure that this issue would be minimised in the second battle.”
“I see,” I nodded, “So you sent out Feng Xian as you felt that she would be stronger than the one who was supposed to be sent huh?”
“It is as you said, Xuan De. I wanted to take extra precautions during the second battle. But I never expected that the battle would end the way it did.” Yuan Zhi said as she looked at the stall beside hers despondently, “I know that it didn’t go as it was supposed to and I knew of the risks involved in the strategy employed, but I couldn’t change it… And in the end, this is how it ended up.”
I did not dare to ask any further as I stared at Yuan Zhi’s empty eyes. The atmosphere soon became awkward and some of the other questions I still had seemed to be a lot less important now after some startling reveals earlier. As for bringing Yuan Zhi back, I do not know if I should do so anymore as I have no idea how I should explain what she just told me and how I should explain the actions she took.
Zi Long for one would never accept it if I were to give her Yuan Zhi’s explanations as she has told it to me. Zi Long did not come from the future, nor did anyone else. In the end, they would think that Yuan Zhi has gone mad which is not an ideal scenario by far.
So I cannot leave, nor can I bring Yuan Zhi back. Of course, I cannot just let Yuan Zhi leave because of this as it would be even more difficult for me to explain things. As I looked at Yuan Zhi, I began to feel more and more frustrated. Yuan Zhi on the other hand seemed calm but she would look up at me from time to time.
Wu… She moaned when she reached up and found once again that her bandana was still missing.
“Ah,” I said as I took it out of my pocket, “Here.”
I had gotten too engrossed in the conversation before that I completely forgot to return this to her. Now that the conversation was at a roadblock and she needed it, I might as well use this chance to give it back.
“Ah…” Yuan Zhi slowly looked up at the bandana and at me, “You… This is…”
“I accidentally pulled it off back when you ran out and have been keeping it ever since. I forgot to return it to you at the start.” I said as I extended my hand to Yuan Zhi who hurriedly received it. When i released my grip and dropped the bandana into her hands, Yuan Zhi seemed like she was at ease.
“I thought I’d lost it somewhere…” Yuan Zhi said with a stiff smile. She must have been so anxious back then that she did not even notice that it was gone.
I thought that she would put it on immediately and then the atmosphere would return to an awkward one but she did not do so and continued to stare at it in her hands. I do not know why she is doing this but I think this probably has to do with the blood that has stained the bandana. However, I did not feel good about asking her directly and merely watched her quietly.
…
… *Shiku*…
Eh? Yuan Zhi began to sniffle and tremble as she lowered her face into the bandana she held in her hands. Looks like she’s reached her limits.
“I already said I couldn’t do it… I clearly couldn’t have done all this…” Yuan Zhi muttered over and over. However, I did not know how I ought to console he as I did not know what was up and could only lean over as I patted her shoulders.
“Yuan Zhi… Why so suddenly… What’s going on…” I asked as I patted her shoulders which seemed to be trembling harder than before. When I looked around, I saw that the surrounding passers-by were all looking over with suspicion. They are probably wondering what this weirdo wearing a strange hat is doing to a girl at a stall to make her cry.
“I can’t, I really can’t do anything. I shouldn’t have done anything.” Yuan Zhi continued in a tearful voice. In an instant, I realised that Yuan Zhi was only human even if she was a martial hero. Despite her cold and dazed countenance, it does not mean that she does not have any worries or that she does not feel fear.
“Yuan Zhi, it’s fine, it’s fine…” I consoled her with as kind a voice as I could muster and ignored the surrounding passers-by as I patted her back with 1 hand and brought the bowl of sugar water to her with another, “It’s fine, it’s fine, here, have something to drink.”
“… Un un.” Yuan Zhi continued to sniffle but she nodded and looked up as she took the bowl and took a small sip.
I did not dare to interrupt her and merely sat there wordlessly as I watched iver her. Because she was crying, her cheeks were red and so were her eyes. There were also tear streaks down her cheeks and she was still sniffling now and then. I felt my sleeve pocket and thanked Gong You and the rest for drilling into me the habit of bringing along a handkerchief when I found my white handkerchief which I hurriedly pulled out and passed to Yuan Zhi.
“… Thanks…” Yuan Zhi managed to thank me somehow and took my handkerchief with 1 hand while holding her red bandana with the other as she wiped her face, taking in deep breaths to calm herself down as she did so.
After that, I continued to remain silent. After about 2-3 minutes, Yuan Zhi’s breathing returned to normal and she seemed like she had calmed down.
“Are you feeling any better…”
Yuan Zhi nodded, “I’m sorry for acting up like that.” She said as she wiped her eyes with my handkerchief, “But the pressure on me in this period has been too much. I was just an ordinary villager living in the mountains before this and have never led troops nor have I been an official.”
She said all of this very calmly and smoothly without stammering, which meant that this was true. At the same time, I could feel like she was smiling bitterly inside as she said so.
“No… Everyone is the same, including me.”
I do not know if this is consolation enough but this is how I truly felt. And that is the truth, in fact, my circumstances were even worse than Yuan Zhi as I came from the future with insufficient knowledge of the past and I did not have anything useful with me either. I cannot quite say if I have adapted well enough but at least I am hanging on.
But after I finished, Yuan Zhi still did not react and continued to stare at the red bandana in her hands with her head lowered. After a few moments, she shook her head so lightly I almost did not notice it.
“No, not at all.” She said in a tone that made me realise that she was a lot more downcast than I imagined.
How could it be different? Or so I wanted to ask but felt that it would be inappropriate and decided to wait silently for her to continue.
After a few moments, Yuan Zhi continued to stare at the red bandana as she spoke up softly with a slightly nasal voice, “Xuan De, since you helped me to keep my bandana, you should have noticed something about it right?”
“Ah…” I did not expect that she would start to talk about this. I would not have noticed anything untoward about the bandana if I had not come out to look for Yuan Zhi. But since she found out, there is no need to hide it, “Un. The bandana is red because of… Blood right?”
“Yes.” Yuan Zhi answered softly, “This bandana is made from a torn piece of cloth from a thug I killed about 1-2 years back.”
When she finished, Yuan Hi took out a small knife and cut the stitchings, letting the bandana completely unravel. A bloodstained cloth appeared before me as it did so and I saw that it had been soaked with much blood which was not cleaned and some parts had become a pinkish red.
“Yuan Zhi has killed before?”
“Yes, I have.” Yuan Zhi said as she placed the cloth on the table and folded it until it returned to the form it was before and made to put it on but then put it back down on the table after a moment’s pause.
