“How many times?”
……
“Come on, hurry up! Tell me! You know me. As long as I’m not satisfied, I’ll never drop the issue.”
Jia He finally lifted her head from where it had been buried in a plate of French fries and bashfully raised three fingers.
“Whoa, amazing!” Qiao Qiao, her eyes glowing, shuffled up against Jia He and then carefully calculated again. “Actually… that performance seems just okay. It was a whole night after all.”
Firing a glower at her, Jia He admitted softly, “Actually… it’s because at the end, we were out of that.” Her idol’s reputation had to be preserved—especially when it came to this important matter. She absolutely could not be vague…
There was a loud slap as Qiao Qiao indignantly struck her palm onto the table. “That’s so not right. No matter what, that’s a five-star hotel, but they only give the smallest size box? How come you didn’t ask for another one from the front desk?”
Jia He nearly smacked the plate of French fries onto her head. “Do you want me on Tianya[1] forums tomorrow?!”
“Oh, that’s true.” Qiao Qiao was enlightened. She picked up a French fry between her fingers and dipped it in some ketchup. “That’s why dating this sort of guy is no good either. At all times, you need to restrain yourself.” Her very last tone turned up ever so slightly, and instantly her words became rich in meaning.
All sorts of expressions flashed across Jia He’s face. Just as she was about to shoot back a retort, she saw, across from her, Xiao Yu bend her pointer finger and knock it against the table. “That’s enough from you two.”
A single sentence successfully rendered those other two silent, and they tucked their heads down and only ate French fries. To try to pacify Xiao Yu’s soul, Jia He purposely lifted her head back up and flattered, “That sentence of yours, coupled with that action, was just so suave. If there were a man like that, he’d be totally up my alley and I definitely would not even look at my idol.”
Xiao Yu threw her a sideways look, not saying anything.
Qiao Qiao immediately grabbed Jia He’s arm and reminded her, “That ‘suaveness,’ don’t you know whose it’s similar to? … You’d dare try to snatch her guy? You don’t want to live?”
Jia He blinked. And then, she continued keeping her head low and scarfing down French fries.
I actually… just wanted to lick her boots a bit…
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The three finished eating and then were going to head out on their separate ways. It was not until they were about to leave that Jia He clued in to something strange. Grabbing Xiao Yu by the arm, she inquired, “How did you guys know I… did it?”
Wearing a faint smirk, Xiao Yu looked at her. “The pairs of eyes constantly watching your man’s Weibo is uncountable. With the two words ‘perfect’ and ‘fulfilling,’ did you really think we wouldn’t able to guess?”
Being able to guess from just that is what’s not normal, you know?…
She uttered an “oh” and turned around to take her leave, holding herself with great composure, but Xiao Yu called to her. “I remembered something. I just finished the shooting for Tian Chu’s ad few days ago. Tian Chu is very pretty in real life.” The corner of Jia He’s lips turned down slightly. Patting her on the shoulder, Xiao Yu abruptly shifted the direction of her words. “Now do you have confidence in yourself? You beat out even someone like that. That means all the other vixens and minxes can’t even be counted as anything substantial.”
Only then did Jia He comprehend her meaning. She gave Xiao Yu a feigned kick, then, her heart practically bursting with joy, hightailed from there.
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Work at last officially kicked off for her new drama, and with less to do, she could temporarily slow down. Fortunately, she did not have the habit of writing the script in parallel with principal photography; she made sure everything was completed and settled before filming commenced. During this period, she had been driving Yi Wenze’s car to get around. However, as it was too expensive a vehicle and she felt awkward driving it directly to the production company, every time, she would park it in a faraway spot and then walk over to the company office.
Each time, her face would be bathed in sweat, and each time, it drew the director’s teasing. “Gee, Jia He, the pay we give you isn’t low. Why is it you can’t even bring yourself to spend the money to call a cab?” Dolefully, as the air-conditioning blew on her, she would always incessantly speculate, He’s doing it on purpose, doing it on purpose, or just doing it on purpose…
Also due to having this car that had replaced walking as her way of getting around, on the day of the Mid-Autumn Festival[2], she finally was reduced to the role of being the driver for the entire family.
Her mom’s understanding of “good cars” was limited to the brands of BMW and Mercedes-Benz, and she only felt that this car was comfortable to sit in. “Hey, Daughter, this car seems pretty good to me. It’s not inferior to a BMW. That toy car of yours that I sat in when I went to Shanghai last time, you even have to move the front seat just to be able to climb into the back. That’s just too much work.” In the rearview mirror, she gave a very magnanimous look to Jia He. “Just buy this car for me in the future. I won’t snub it.”
You sure have good taste…
Jia He looked with tear-filled eyes at her mom, having taken a silent blow.
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She drove her mom back to the downstairs of their apartment building before moving on to her next battle site, China University of Political Science and Law.
High-end vehicles were everywhere at the main gates of the university, so naturally there were more people here who knew their stuff about cars. She had only stood outside for a short while before she had a certain feeling that people were eyeing her like she was someone’s mistress. Hence, she was forced to gloomily clamber back into the car to wait… Her younger girl cousin finally, more than ten minutes late, ran over with a backpack on her back. Once she had checked and confirmed that it was the correct license plate number, she straightaway pulled out her mobile phone and began enthusiastically snapping photos of the car. Eventually, she even slapped the car window. Jia He rolled it down and looked at her.
“Hey, Big Sis[3], help take a picture of me with your car.” This younger cousin’s eyes were sparkling, and basically the only things she had not done were dance and wave her arms in excitement.
Jia He was embarrassed. “Hurry and get in the car. What are you taking pictures for? …”
“Just one, ’kay?” The kid began pouting and acting cute. Powerless, Jia He had no choice but to get out of the vehicle and take an Nnumber of pictures for her before managing to coax her into the car. Who would have thought? The instant this girl cousin sat into the vehicle, she lowered her voice and made a show of heaving a big sigh. “Ol’ Sis, you’ve finally upgraded your mistress car from a little shotgun to a cannon. Have you become someone’s mistress?”
Jia He jolted and gawked at her, baffled. “What are you talking about?”
With very much an aching heart, her cousin carried on declaring her stance on this. “I won’t support it. Wait, no, it’s ‘I’m adamantly against it.’ This is a path of no return. Even if we never marry, we still must not take this path! Your little sis here, I study law. Yes, present-day society’s morality has degenerated to the point that it actually tacitly approves of this type of phenomenon, but,” she paused for a bit, her manner as one who was upholding justice, then continued, “I, as a future expert in marriage law who supports and protects a system of monogamy, absolutely will not condone this type of behaviour of yours.”
This huge chunk of words was actually… well-reasoned and well-supported.
Irked, but also finding her funny, Jia He replied, “This car is your bro-in-law’s.” Her cheeks warmed a little with that statement. Clearing her throat, she explained, “I’ll be honest and lay it all out in the open: although he has had a divorce, he is now a clean-and-clear, unwed man.”
“Huh? You found yourself a second-hand good?” Dubious, her cousin carefully examined her expression. “Hasn’t it been five years where no one’s wanted you? Why is there now suddenly someone who does?”
Seriously, you think I’ve had five years where no one’s wanted me?! I’m the one who didn’t want anyone, okay?!
And plus, Yi Wenze is no second-hand good either…
Jia He glowered hatefully at her. “It’s because I have high standards, not because no one wanted me.”
“You?” Her cousin mused on this briefly. “That is true. You like Yi Wenze so much and you also love to dream, so yeah, your standards are high.” That successfully managed to choke off any retorts from Jia He. Jia He suddenly thought of a question: If she learns that her cousin-in-law is Yi Wenze, will she faint? But kids nowadays are highly capable of accepting things. Should I try to probe her out a bit first?
While this younger cousin carried on sighing over how Jia He’s daydreaming abilities were even greater than hers, Jia He all of a sudden gave her a serious look. “What if I really did find a guy who’s as good as Yi Wenze, one who, from his looks to his character, is not in any way inferior to him?”
Soft music drifted through the car. Other than that, there was no other noise.
On the face of the person before her, the expression went from one of foolish stupor to shock and then transitioned all the way to utter heartache that seeped into the very bone, but still she did not speak…
In the end, she extended her hand and actually touched it to Jia He’s forehead.
“Hey, Big Sis, do you have a fever? Or has the fever already burned your brain silly?” She tested Jia He’s temperature. Normal. “Chasing after a celebrity to your extent is just too scary. Oh, right, last time Second [Maternal] Aunt even said you found yourself a young actor who looks quite a bit like Yi Wenze. You wouldn’t have abused your authority as screenwriter and did somethingto the guy, right?”
Wordlessly, Jia He turned her head away. Reality had just proven that this attempt at communication had failed.
She absolutely needed to come up with a way for everyone to be able to accept her relationship… But after thinking for a while, she felt that something was not right… Why was she already starting to prepare for bringing him home? … She was dazed for a moment. Right when she was about to begin driving, Yi Wenze’s phone call came in.
Casting a guilty glance at her younger cousin, she answered it with a very low “Hello?”
The lass at first had not really concerned herself with this call, but the instant she heard Jia He using such a cooing voice, she understood. Only forming the words with her mouth, she asked silently, “The divorced guy?”
Shooting her a glare, Jia He heard him say on the other end of the line, “Honey, what are you doing?”
In a small voice, she replied, “I’m picking up my younger cousin from school and then we’re going to my [maternal] granddad’s house for Mid-Autumn Festival.”
Yi Wenze gave an “mm,” then told her, “My plane ticket is booked already. I’ll be taking off at eleven o’clock tonight and arriving in Beijing around one-thirty.”
Booked a late-night flight again…
Giving a little jump for joy on the inside, Jia He was in the midst of a moment of sweetness when, all of a sudden, her hand was empty—her younger cousin had snatched her mobile phone right out of it. Directing her words into the phone, the little lass greeted merrily, “This is Brother-In-Law, right? I’m your little sister-in-law, Mumu.”
Jia He wanted to grab the phone back, so Mumu quickly added, “Everyone’s going to be there for Mid-Autumn Festival. It’s the perfect time to do a meet-the-parents. Come! I’ll put in a few good words for you. Your future mother-in-law is really good-natured and easy to deal with.” Straight after saying this, she commented to Jia He, “Brother-In-Law’s voice is so nice.”
Jia He was not certain whether she should cry or laugh at this and momentarily did not know what she should do. But next, she saw Mumu’s eyes grow glassy and fix on her while her mouth bobbed open and opened some more. Then…she let out a shriek and hurled the mobile phone onto Jia He’s lap.
Uh-oh…
Jia He hurriedly picked up the phone. “What did you say to her?”
In the phone, his voice stated serenely, “Nothing really. I just said that my flight wouldn’t be getting in until really late tonight and I would invite her to the premiere of Age of Flourish.”
Yes, it did sound like he had not really said anything.
But those words absolutely were spoken deliberately to cause shock… Age of Flourish featured an all-star cast, and what it touted was that he was the leading actor.
Even an idiot would understand.
Telling him, “We’ll talk later,” Jia He speedily hung up and turned her eyes onto Mumu. “Don’t freak me out… It’s not that scary, is it?”
Oh no, I’m done for. Even she’s already like this. That means if I really do let Mom know about it, it’ll be even worse.
With one hand pressed against her chest, Mumu made a sign to her to shut her mouth. She mollified herself for a full half a minute before finally blowing out a light breath. “Tell me, did I hear wrong?”
Jia He shook her head, pained. “You didn’t hear wrong…”
Clutching at her own chest, Mumu stared bitterly at her. “You and are born of the same roots, so why is it that you’re the one who ended up with all the dumb luck?”
……
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Sheepish, Jia He began driving, deciding that she would just completely hold her silence.
The entire way, Mumu did not cease grilling her. Jia He was overwhelmed by her many and varied, strange and fantastical questions. Only when Mumu asked, “How did things start between you two?” did Jia He seriously look back in her memory and answer, “It seems, things began between us when one time I got rear-ended and he sent Wu Zhilun over to be my driver…”
“Wait! Pull over quickly!” Mumu bellowed.
Jia He hurriedly found an empty spot and pulled over to the side of the road, nearly dying from the shock she just got.
“I remember now! Your rotten driving skills are plain for all to see.” Decisively, Mumu got out of the car and changed seats with Jia He. “It’s better if I drive. I don’t want to be unable to go home on Mid-Autumn.” After fastening her seat belt, she turned an intense gaze onto Jia He. “That’s just too crazy! Just like that and then you hooked up with a big celebrity. Big Sis, why don’t you like Wu Zhilun? That guy is obviously even a little further along on the handsome scale.”
Jia He turned her nose up at that. That boozer? How can he even compare to your brother-in-law? …
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In the end, when they stepped through the door of the family home, Jia He very sternly gave her the warning that she had better keep her lips sealed. Mumu readily agreed to this. “No problem. Gift your iPad to me.” Thus, there in broad daylight, Jia He lost an iPad… For the entire evening, including even when she was cutting up some fruit, her heart was quaking in her throat and she kept staring at Mumu, terrified this girl cousin might slip and say something. Not until they had divided up the moon cakes and she was preparing to go home did she feel like she could breathe.
When she was leaving, her granddad suddenly gave a little slap to the back of his own head and said, “I forgot. The drama serial!” With that, he scurried over to switch channels on the television. Jia He only swept a glimpse at the screen, but then she was utterly dumbstruck—it was Tune of Yong’an.
“Oh, hey,” her mom remarked, plopping her rear end onto a seat, “you’re watching this? I’m watching it, too. Jia He wrote it. I told her to give me spoilers, but she won’t.”
For a moment, all eyes turned to her. A younger boy cousin[4] pointed at Yi Wenze and proclaimed, “Hey, Big Sis, you’ve gotten somewhere in life. You’ve finally managed to hug your idol’s thigh[5].”
Jia He bared her teeth threateningly at him. Mumu, however, gave a meaningful pat on this boy cousin’s shoulder. “Big Sis’s beauty is unparalleled in this generation. She’s not just simply hugging his thigh.”
Everybody had been huddled together watching television, but as a result of this one sentence, every gaze, bright and piercing, landed on Jia He again.
Jia He shot a look of daggers at Mumu, pointing towards the table at the iPad on it that she had just lost. Sticking out her tongue, Mumu admitted defeat. However, out of the blue, Jia He’s mom jumped in and declared with a show of seriousness, “Oh, the authentic version of the man is much more pleasing on the eye.” Pained, she summarized for own father, Jia He’s granddad, “Your granddaughter found herself a knock-off, someone who looks a lot like Yi Wenze.”
Jia He was already speechless…
Her granddad gave an “Ah?” He was about to ask more, but then he suddenly pointed at the television and cried, “Oh my, that lass really looks a lot like Jia He. And she’s crying, too.”
Jia He thoroughly froze at that…
<>Copyright of Fanatical, hui3r[dot]wordpress[dot]com. Translated with the express permission of the author for hui3r[dot]wordpress[dot]com only
[1]天涯Tianya Community/Club/Forums, or simply Tianya, is an online forum and one of the earliest social networking sites in China. In 2011, when this story takes place, it was China’s biggest online forum.
[2]中秋节The Mid-Autumn Festival, also known as the Moon Festival, takes place on the 15th day of the 8th month of the lunar calendar. It is a major Chinese festival. On this day of the year, the moon is at its roundest and brightest.
[3]Jia He and this girl are biao cousins. A biao cousin relationship is one in which the cousins’ fathers are not brothers. Jia He is this girl’s 表姐 biao jie, older female (biao) cousin, or literally biao-older sister, while the girl is Jia He’s 表妹biao mei, younger female (biao) cousin, or literally biao-younger sister. Sometimes, the biao prefix is dropped, and cousins will address one another as simply “sister” and “brother.” Hence, this younger cousin addresses Jia He as “Big Sis.”
[4]Refer to footnote [3]. This boy cousin is a biao cousin; he is Jia He’s biao-young brother.
Hence he, too, addresses Jia He as “Big Sis.”
[5]抱大腿 literally translates as “hugging a thigh,” where the “thigh” is referring to a big shot person of some sort. To “hug a thigh” means to suck up to a big shot or use a big shot’s fame to move yourself up the ladder.
“How many times?”
……
“Come on, hurry up! Tell me! You know me. As long as I’m not satisfied, I’ll never drop the issue.”
Jia He finally lifted her head from where it had been buried in a plate of French fries and bashfully raised three fingers.
“Whoa, amazing!” Qiao Qiao, her eyes glowing, shuffled up against Jia He and then carefully calculated again. “Actually… that performance seems just okay. It was a whole night after all.”
Firing a glower at her, Jia He admitted softly, “Actually… it’s because at the end, we were out of that.” Her idol’s reputation had to be preserved—especially when it came to this important matter. She absolutely could not be vague…
There was a loud slap as Qiao Qiao indignantly struck her palm onto the table. “That’s so not right. No matter what, that’s a five-star hotel, but they only give the smallest size box? How come you didn’t ask for another one from the front desk?”
Jia He nearly smacked the plate of French fries onto her head. “Do you want me on Tianya[1] forums tomorrow?!”
“Oh, that’s true.” Qiao Qiao was enlightened. She picked up a French fry between her fingers and dipped it in some ketchup. “That’s why dating this sort of guy is no good either. At all times, you need to restrain yourself.” Her very last tone turned up ever so slightly, and instantly her words became rich in meaning.
All sorts of expressions flashed across Jia He’s face. Just as she was about to shoot back a retort, she saw, across from her, Xiao Yu bend her pointer finger and knock it against the table. “That’s enough from you two.”
A single sentence successfully rendered those other two silent, and they tucked their heads down and only ate French fries. To try to pacify Xiao Yu’s soul, Jia He purposely lifted her head back up and flattered, “That sentence of yours, coupled with that action, was just so suave. If there were a man like that, he’d be totally up my alley and I definitely would not even look at my idol.”
Xiao Yu threw her a sideways look, not saying anything.
Qiao Qiao immediately grabbed Jia He’s arm and reminded her, “That ‘suaveness,’ don’t you know whose it’s similar to? … You’d dare try to snatch her guy? You don’t want to live?”
Jia He blinked. And then, she continued keeping her head low and scarfing down French fries.
I actually… just wanted to lick her boots a bit…
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The three finished eating and then were going to head out on their separate ways. It was not until they were about to leave that Jia He clued in to something strange. Grabbing Xiao Yu by the arm, she inquired, “How did you guys know I… did it?”
Wearing a faint smirk, Xiao Yu looked at her. “The pairs of eyes constantly watching your man’s Weibo is uncountable. With the two words ‘perfect’ and ‘fulfilling,’ did you really think we wouldn’t able to guess?”
Being able to guess from just that is what’s not normal, you know?…
She uttered an “oh” and turned around to take her leave, holding herself with great composure, but Xiao Yu called to her. “I remembered something. I just finished the shooting for Tian Chu’s ad few days ago. Tian Chu is very pretty in real life.” The corner of Jia He’s lips turned down slightly. Patting her on the shoulder, Xiao Yu abruptly shifted the direction of her words. “Now do you have confidence in yourself? You beat out even someone like that. That means all the other vixens and minxes can’t even be counted as anything substantial.”
Only then did Jia He comprehend her meaning. She gave Xiao Yu a feigned kick, then, her heart practically bursting with joy, hightailed from there.
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Work at last officially kicked off for her new drama, and with less to do, she could temporarily slow down. Fortunately, she did not have the habit of writing the script in parallel with principal photography; she made sure everything was completed and settled before filming commenced. During this period, she had been driving Yi Wenze’s car to get around. However, as it was too expensive a vehicle and she felt awkward driving it directly to the production company, every time, she would park it in a faraway spot and then walk over to the company office.
Each time, her face would be bathed in sweat, and each time, it drew the director’s teasing. “Gee, Jia He, the pay we give you isn’t low. Why is it you can’t even bring yourself to spend the money to call a cab?” Dolefully, as the air-conditioning blew on her, she would always incessantly speculate, He’s doing it on purpose, doing it on purpose, or just doing it on purpose…
Also due to having this car that had replaced walking as her way of getting around, on the day of the Mid-Autumn Festival[2], she finally was reduced to the role of being the driver for the entire family.
Her mom’s understanding of “good cars” was limited to the brands of BMW and Mercedes-Benz, and she only felt that this car was comfortable to sit in. “Hey, Daughter, this car seems pretty good to me. It’s not inferior to a BMW. That toy car of yours that I sat in when I went to Shanghai last time, you even have to move the front seat just to be able to climb into the back. That’s just too much work.” In the rearview mirror, she gave a very magnanimous look to Jia He. “Just buy this car for me in the future. I won’t snub it.”
You sure have good taste…
Jia He looked with tear-filled eyes at her mom, having taken a silent blow.
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She drove her mom back to the downstairs of their apartment building before moving on to her next battle site, China University of Political Science and Law.
High-end vehicles were everywhere at the main gates of the university, so naturally there were more people here who knew their stuff about cars. She had only stood outside for a short while before she had a certain feeling that people were eyeing her like she was someone’s mistress. Hence, she was forced to gloomily clamber back into the car to wait… Her younger girl cousin finally, more than ten minutes late, ran over with a backpack on her back. Once she had checked and confirmed that it was the correct license plate number, she straightaway pulled out her mobile phone and began enthusiastically snapping photos of the car. Eventually, she even slapped the car window. Jia He rolled it down and looked at her.
“Hey, Big Sis[3], help take a picture of me with your car.” This younger cousin’s eyes were sparkling, and basically the only things she had not done were dance and wave her arms in excitement.
Jia He was embarrassed. “Hurry and get in the car. What are you taking pictures for? …”
“Just one, ’kay?” The kid began pouting and acting cute. Powerless, Jia He had no choice but to get out of the vehicle and take an Nnumber of pictures for her before managing to coax her into the car. Who would have thought? The instant this girl cousin sat into the vehicle, she lowered her voice and made a show of heaving a big sigh. “Ol’ Sis, you’ve finally upgraded your mistress car from a little shotgun to a cannon. Have you become someone’s mistress?”
Jia He jolted and gawked at her, baffled. “What are you talking about?”
With very much an aching heart, her cousin carried on declaring her stance on this. “I won’t support it. Wait, no, it’s ‘I’m adamantly against it.’ This is a path of no return. Even if we never marry, we still must not take this path! Your little sis here, I study law. Yes, present-day society’s morality has degenerated to the point that it actually tacitly approves of this type of phenomenon, but,” she paused for a bit, her manner as one who was upholding justice, then continued, “I, as a future expert in marriage law who supports and protects a system of monogamy, absolutely will not condone this type of behaviour of yours.”
This huge chunk of words was actually… well-reasoned and well-supported.
Irked, but also finding her funny, Jia He replied, “This car is your bro-in-law’s.” Her cheeks warmed a little with that statement. Clearing her throat, she explained, “I’ll be honest and lay it all out in the open: although he has had a divorce, he is now a clean-and-clear, unwed man.”
“Huh? You found yourself a second-hand good?” Dubious, her cousin carefully examined her expression. “Hasn’t it been five years where no one’s wanted you? Why is there now suddenly someone who does?”
Seriously, you think I’ve had five years where no one’s wanted me?! I’m the one who didn’t want anyone, okay?!
And plus, Yi Wenze is no second-hand good either…
Jia He glowered hatefully at her. “It’s because I have high standards, not because no one wanted me.”
“You?” Her cousin mused on this briefly. “That is true. You like Yi Wenze so much and you also love to dream, so yeah, your standards are high.” That successfully managed to choke off any retorts from Jia He. Jia He suddenly thought of a question: If she learns that her cousin-in-law is Yi Wenze, will she faint? But kids nowadays are highly capable of accepting things. Should I try to probe her out a bit first?
While this younger cousin carried on sighing over how Jia He’s daydreaming abilities were even greater than hers, Jia He all of a sudden gave her a serious look. “What if I really did find a guy who’s as good as Yi Wenze, one who, from his looks to his character, is not in any way inferior to him?”
Soft music drifted through the car. Other than that, there was no other noise.
On the face of the person before her, the expression went from one of foolish stupor to shock and then transitioned all the way to utter heartache that seeped into the very bone, but still she did not speak…
In the end, she extended her hand and actually touched it to Jia He’s forehead.
“Hey, Big Sis, do you have a fever? Or has the fever already burned your brain silly?” She tested Jia He’s temperature. Normal. “Chasing after a celebrity to your extent is just too scary. Oh, right, last time Second [Maternal] Aunt even said you found yourself a young actor who looks quite a bit like Yi Wenze. You wouldn’t have abused your authority as screenwriter and did somethingto the guy, right?”
Wordlessly, Jia He turned her head away. Reality had just proven that this attempt at communication had failed.
She absolutely needed to come up with a way for everyone to be able to accept her relationship… But after thinking for a while, she felt that something was not right… Why was she already starting to prepare for bringing him home? … She was dazed for a moment. Right when she was about to begin driving, Yi Wenze’s phone call came in.
Casting a guilty glance at her younger cousin, she answered it with a very low “Hello?”
The lass at first had not really concerned herself with this call, but the instant she heard Jia He using such a cooing voice, she understood. Only forming the words with her mouth, she asked silently, “The divorced guy?”
Shooting her a glare, Jia He heard him say on the other end of the line, “Honey, what are you doing?”
In a small voice, she replied, “I’m picking up my younger cousin from school and then we’re going to my [maternal] granddad’s house for Mid-Autumn Festival.”
Yi Wenze gave an “mm,” then told her, “My plane ticket is booked already. I’ll be taking off at eleven o’clock tonight and arriving in Beijing around one-thirty.”
Booked a late-night flight again…
Giving a little jump for joy on the inside, Jia He was in the midst of a moment of sweetness when, all of a sudden, her hand was empty—her younger cousin had snatched her mobile phone right out of it. Directing her words into the phone, the little lass greeted merrily, “This is Brother-In-Law, right? I’m your little sister-in-law, Mumu.”
Jia He wanted to grab the phone back, so Mumu quickly added, “Everyone’s going to be there for Mid-Autumn Festival. It’s the perfect time to do a meet-the-parents. Come! I’ll put in a few good words for you. Your future mother-in-law is really good-natured and easy to deal with.” Straight after saying this, she commented to Jia He, “Brother-In-Law’s voice is so nice.”
Jia He was not certain whether she should cry or laugh at this and momentarily did not know what she should do. But next, she saw Mumu’s eyes grow glassy and fix on her while her mouth bobbed open and opened some more. Then…she let out a shriek and hurled the mobile phone onto Jia He’s lap.
Uh-oh…
Jia He hurriedly picked up the phone. “What did you say to her?”
In the phone, his voice stated serenely, “Nothing really. I just said that my flight wouldn’t be getting in until really late tonight and I would invite her to the premiere of Age of Flourish.”
Yes, it did sound like he had not really said anything.
But those words absolutely were spoken deliberately to cause shock… Age of Flourish featured an all-star cast, and what it touted was that he was the leading actor.
Even an idiot would understand.
Telling him, “We’ll talk later,” Jia He speedily hung up and turned her eyes onto Mumu. “Don’t freak me out… It’s not that scary, is it?”
Oh no, I’m done for. Even she’s already like this. That means if I really do let Mom know about it, it’ll be even worse.
With one hand pressed against her chest, Mumu made a sign to her to shut her mouth. She mollified herself for a full half a minute before finally blowing out a light breath. “Tell me, did I hear wrong?”
Jia He shook her head, pained. “You didn’t hear wrong…”
Clutching at her own chest, Mumu stared bitterly at her. “You and are born of the same roots, so why is it that you’re the one who ended up with all the dumb luck?”
……
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Sheepish, Jia He began driving, deciding that she would just completely hold her silence.
The entire way, Mumu did not cease grilling her. Jia He was overwhelmed by her many and varied, strange and fantastical questions. Only when Mumu asked, “How did things start between you two?” did Jia He seriously look back in her memory and answer, “It seems, things began between us when one time I got rear-ended and he sent Wu Zhilun over to be my driver…”
“Wait! Pull over quickly!” Mumu bellowed.
Jia He hurriedly found an empty spot and pulled over to the side of the road, nearly dying from the shock she just got.
“I remember now! Your rotten driving skills are plain for all to see.” Decisively, Mumu got out of the car and changed seats with Jia He. “It’s better if I drive. I don’t want to be unable to go home on Mid-Autumn.” After fastening her seat belt, she turned an intense gaze onto Jia He. “That’s just too crazy! Just like that and then you hooked up with a big celebrity. Big Sis, why don’t you like Wu Zhilun? That guy is obviously even a little further along on the handsome scale.”
Jia He turned her nose up at that. That boozer? How can he even compare to your brother-in-law? …
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In the end, when they stepped through the door of the family home, Jia He very sternly gave her the warning that she had better keep her lips sealed. Mumu readily agreed to this. “No problem. Gift your iPad to me.” Thus, there in broad daylight, Jia He lost an iPad… For the entire evening, including even when she was cutting up some fruit, her heart was quaking in her throat and she kept staring at Mumu, terrified this girl cousin might slip and say something. Not until they had divided up the moon cakes and she was preparing to go home did she feel like she could breathe.
When she was leaving, her granddad suddenly gave a little slap to the back of his own head and said, “I forgot. The drama serial!” With that, he scurried over to switch channels on the television. Jia He only swept a glimpse at the screen, but then she was utterly dumbstruck—it was Tune of Yong’an.
“Oh, hey,” her mom remarked, plopping her rear end onto a seat, “you’re watching this? I’m watching it, too. Jia He wrote it. I told her to give me spoilers, but she won’t.”
For a moment, all eyes turned to her. A younger boy cousin[4] pointed at Yi Wenze and proclaimed, “Hey, Big Sis, you’ve gotten somewhere in life. You’ve finally managed to hug your idol’s thigh[5].”
Jia He bared her teeth threateningly at him. Mumu, however, gave a meaningful pat on this boy cousin’s shoulder. “Big Sis’s beauty is unparalleled in this generation. She’s not just simply hugging his thigh.”
Everybody had been huddled together watching television, but as a result of this one sentence, every gaze, bright and piercing, landed on Jia He again.
Jia He shot a look of daggers at Mumu, pointing towards the table at the iPad on it that she had just lost. Sticking out her tongue, Mumu admitted defeat. However, out of the blue, Jia He’s mom jumped in and declared with a show of seriousness, “Oh, the authentic version of the man is much more pleasing on the eye.” Pained, she summarized for own father, Jia He’s granddad, “Your granddaughter found herself a knock-off, someone who looks a lot like Yi Wenze.”
Jia He was already speechless…
Her granddad gave an “Ah?” He was about to ask more, but then he suddenly pointed at the television and cried, “Oh my, that lass really looks a lot like Jia He. And she’s crying, too.”
Jia He thoroughly froze at that…
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[1]天涯Tianya Community/Club/Forums, or simply Tianya, is an online forum and one of the earliest social networking sites in China. In 2011, when this story takes place, it was China’s biggest online forum.
[2]中秋节The Mid-Autumn Festival, also known as the Moon Festival, takes place on the 15th day of the 8th month of the lunar calendar. It is a major Chinese festival. On this day of the year, the moon is at its roundest and brightest.
[3]Jia He and this girl are biao cousins. A biao cousin relationship is one in which the cousins’ fathers are not brothers. Jia He is this girl’s 表姐 biao jie, older female (biao) cousin, or literally biao-older sister, while the girl is Jia He’s 表妹biao mei, younger female (biao) cousin, or literally biao-younger sister. Sometimes, the biao prefix is dropped, and cousins will address one another as simply “sister” and “brother.” Hence, this younger cousin addresses Jia He as “Big Sis.”
[4]Refer to footnote [3]. This boy cousin is a biao cousin; he is Jia He’s biao-young brother.
Hence he, too, addresses Jia He as “Big Sis.”
[5]抱大腿 literally translates as “hugging a thigh,” where the “thigh” is referring to a big shot person of some sort. To “hug a thigh” means to suck up to a big shot or use a big shot’s fame to move yourself up the ladder.
