Stab!
Ksania felt a sudden searing pain on her right chest. She turned around.
“Co… Coronel?!”
Coronel whispered coldly to his aunt, “If you won’t give up your life, I will have to take it myself.”
“You… bastard…!”
Coronel had used one hand to stab his aunt. He then grabbed Ksania’s right hand with his free hand and pulled it towards the dagger. He made her grab it, so it looked like she stabbed herself. He then used both of his hand to twist the knife.
Crunch!
The sound of ribs breaking rang throughout the room. Blood poured out from Ksania’s mouth as she gasped.
“Y, you…!”
Coronel smiled like a beast and replied, “Don’t worry, aunty. Your sacrifice will be forever remembered by Genoa. It will help me greatly as well, so thank you.”
“W, when my brother… finds out about this… you’ll…!”
“Don’t worry about that either. The king will be told that his only sister committed suicide after our country was insulted.”
He laid Ksania down on the floor and turned towards his sister.
“Right, Ludia?” Ludia shuddered fearfully.
She knew if she didn’t agree with her brother, he would not hesitate to kill her too.
Ludia nodded urgently.
***
This was perfect. It couldn’t look any more devastating.
Coronel smiled as he looked down at his bloody clothes. The blood from his aunt.
He was stopped by the royal guards before he reached the castle, but they couldn’t silence him. He screamed as loudly as he could, and it worked.
The emperor came out. Coronel assured himself he finally won.
After the encounter, her highness Ksania’s body was removed by the servants and the maids.
The next step was for Coronel and Lucretius to meet as the representatives of their countries and discuss the funeral arrangement. Lucretius forced his wife Sa Bina to return to her bedroom and met with Coronel in private.
This was exactly what Coronel wanted.
Lucretius picked up one of the wine glasses filled with warm honeyed wine. He was still in his pajamas.
“Drink.”
Coronel didn’t pick up his glass. Instead, he looked at Lucretius angrily.
Coronel didn’t like the emperor at all. Lucretius was only four years older than him, yet he wore the golden crown and sat on the throne of the strongest kingdom in this world.
Coronel respected his father the king, but he hated the emperor sitting in front of him. Cransia was too different from Genoa.
In Genoa, only the physically strongest became the king. However, in Cransia, things were different. Those in power were too weak. This emperor in front of him came into power because he was born into it. Coronel could guess how useless and stupid Lucretius was.
That was why Lucretius couldn’t even get rid of Katleyanira, a mere woman. It would be so easy, just like he took care of his aunt.
Lucretius grinned and asked directly, “What does Genoa want?”
Coronel finally smiled.
He finally had the upper hand.
“Take Ludia as your empress. This will be the only thing that will appease our dead aunt.”
Lucretius laughed out loud. “Haha! Wow, how simple. It’s not even a request. It sounds like an order.”
Coronel smirked and threatened him, “According to Genoan law, a blood debt can be only repaid by blood. If you don’t accept my proposal, Genoa will want blood from Cransia.”
Lucretius asked quietly, “Is that what your king wants?” He didn’t seem nervous or anxious.
Coronel answered vaguely, “In this room, I am the representative of Genoa.”
Lucretius nodded in understanding and laughed. “Oh, I see. How proud you must be.”
Coronel brightened and asked, “So you will accept it?”
Lucretius gave him the biggest smile he could muster and answered, “I refuse.”
Coronel screamed, “Do you want a war?!”
Lucretius emptied his wine glass and put it down loudly on the table.
“Why not.”
“Your highness!”
Lucretius announced, “There is only one woman I would ever take as my empress, and it is not your sister.”
Things were being decided for me without my control.
Lucretius didn’t tell me about his private conversation with Prince Coronel.
He was the emperor and he had all the power. I might have been doing the duties of an empress temporarily, but I certainly didn’t have much decision power.
The next day after Ksania’s suicide, Prince Coronel openly cursed Lucretius and returned home with her coffin. The Genoans were in truth kicked out by Lucretius, who refused to negotiate.
The group marched out headed by the coffin. They held up a large black flag and wore black clothes in overt defiance.
However, Lucretius ignored them. I looked out the window as they left with a heavy heart.
It was a cloudy day soon followed by snow.
He said to me from behind, “You look unhappy.”
“… Isn’t it understandable?”
Her highness Ksania killed herself.
I did what I had to do to protect myself but knowing someone died from the incident was still shocking. Seeing the dead body in person didn’t help either.
This was the second time someone died due to a happening I, myself, am involved. Lisbeth and Ksania both died horrible deaths.
It wasn’t that I felt guilty or sympathetic. In truth, the fact that I didn’t feel these normal emotions troubled me.
I felt nothing. The longer I stayed in this world, the worse my sense of morality became. I was beginning to be worried.
Would everything turn out okay?
I had no choice but to do my best to survive until Priestess Izvita found me a way back home.
If she couldn’t find the answer, then I had to stay here till I died. If I did… it might be nice to live with Lucretius.
Was this really okay?
I couldn’t help but feel anxious.
Lucretius placed his hand on my shoulder. His hand slowly moved up and held my chin. He was being gentle but firm as he raised my face towards him.
My eyes met his.
He asked me, “Do you feel guilty?”
I smiled bitterly. “… I wish I did.”
“What do you mean?”
I murmured as if talking to myself, “I am looking through my thoughts to find guilt, but I can’t find it. I feel something similar to guilt, but it’s not real. In fact, I am making myself feel it.”
“…”
“It’s like I am redefining the definition of guilt.”
After a short silence, he said to me, “You shouldn’t feel guilty, so it shouldn’t bother you.”
“You are used to this life. You have lived like this since you were born.”
“…”
“What you feel and don’t feel is normal for you, but not to me. Where I used to live, things didn’t happen like this… I wasn’t like this.”
Lucretius tried to console me, but it didn’t help. It just sounded like he was trying to convince me of something a mistake I know I made.
“As I said, it’s normal for you to not feel guilty.”
“…”
“Because I took away your guilt.”
I smiled awkwardly. “What nonsense are you talking about now?”
“I am the one who forced you into this battle, and with that, I also took away all your guilt and sympathy. So…” He paused before emphasizing his last sentence. “You just have to blame me for everything.”
I smiled. “Stop it. Nobody took away anything from me.”
“I did. I want everything from you. I am greedy for you.”
He grabbed my hair and kissed it.
He whispered again as if to brainwash me, “Your guilt is mine. I am taking it, so if you want, you can hate me for it.”
“You said you love me… So why would you want me to hate you?”
He smiled confidently. “Because I am a monster without a heart.”
“Don’t be ridiculous. You have a heart.”
“I do, but it’s here.”
He pointed at me. “You are my heart, so as long as you are safe, I will be invincible. You can blame me and resent me all you want. I will allow it.”
I gave him a small smile. “You are very kind today.”
“Just to you. Only you.”
Even when he was trying to comfort me, his words were violent, selfish, and… painfully sweet.
I wanted to believe him.
Of course, this was not the way. I always had to have the last word.
“My guilt is my own. Don’t think you can steal it from me.”
I hugged him. I hugged my accomplice tightly.
Stab!
Ksania felt a sudden searing pain on her right chest. She turned around.
“Co… Coronel?!”
Coronel whispered coldly to his aunt, “If you won’t give up your life, I will have to take it myself.”
“You… bastard…!”
Coronel had used one hand to stab his aunt. He then grabbed Ksania’s right hand with his free hand and pulled it towards the dagger. He made her grab it, so it looked like she stabbed herself. He then used both of his hand to twist the knife.
Crunch!
The sound of ribs breaking rang throughout the room. Blood poured out from Ksania’s mouth as she gasped.
“Y, you…!”
Coronel smiled like a beast and replied, “Don’t worry, aunty. Your sacrifice will be forever remembered by Genoa. It will help me greatly as well, so thank you.”
“W, when my brother… finds out about this… you’ll…!”
“Don’t worry about that either. The king will be told that his only sister committed suicide after our country was insulted.”
He laid Ksania down on the floor and turned towards his sister.
“Right, Ludia?” Ludia shuddered fearfully.
She knew if she didn’t agree with her brother, he would not hesitate to kill her too.
Ludia nodded urgently.
***
This was perfect. It couldn’t look any more devastating.
Coronel smiled as he looked down at his bloody clothes. The blood from his aunt.
He was stopped by the royal guards before he reached the castle, but they couldn’t silence him. He screamed as loudly as he could, and it worked.
The emperor came out. Coronel assured himself he finally won.
After the encounter, her highness Ksania’s body was removed by the servants and the maids.
The next step was for Coronel and Lucretius to meet as the representatives of their countries and discuss the funeral arrangement. Lucretius forced his wife Sa Bina to return to her bedroom and met with Coronel in private.
This was exactly what Coronel wanted.
Lucretius picked up one of the wine glasses filled with warm honeyed wine. He was still in his pajamas.
“Drink.”
Coronel didn’t pick up his glass. Instead, he looked at Lucretius angrily.
Coronel didn’t like the emperor at all. Lucretius was only four years older than him, yet he wore the golden crown and sat on the throne of the strongest kingdom in this world.
Coronel respected his father the king, but he hated the emperor sitting in front of him. Cransia was too different from Genoa.
In Genoa, only the physically strongest became the king. However, in Cransia, things were different. Those in power were too weak. This emperor in front of him came into power because he was born into it. Coronel could guess how useless and stupid Lucretius was.
That was why Lucretius couldn’t even get rid of Katleyanira, a mere woman. It would be so easy, just like he took care of his aunt.
Lucretius grinned and asked directly, “What does Genoa want?”
Coronel finally smiled.
He finally had the upper hand.
“Take Ludia as your empress. This will be the only thing that will appease our dead aunt.”
Lucretius laughed out loud. “Haha! Wow, how simple. It’s not even a request. It sounds like an order.”
Coronel smirked and threatened him, “According to Genoan law, a blood debt can be only repaid by blood. If you don’t accept my proposal, Genoa will want blood from Cransia.”
Lucretius asked quietly, “Is that what your king wants?” He didn’t seem nervous or anxious.
Coronel answered vaguely, “In this room, I am the representative of Genoa.”
Lucretius nodded in understanding and laughed. “Oh, I see. How proud you must be.”
Coronel brightened and asked, “So you will accept it?”
Lucretius gave him the biggest smile he could muster and answered, “I refuse.”
Coronel screamed, “Do you want a war?!”
Lucretius emptied his wine glass and put it down loudly on the table.
“Why not.”
“Your highness!”
Lucretius announced, “There is only one woman I would ever take as my empress, and it is not your sister.”
Things were being decided for me without my control.
Lucretius didn’t tell me about his private conversation with Prince Coronel.
He was the emperor and he had all the power. I might have been doing the duties of an empress temporarily, but I certainly didn’t have much decision power.
The next day after Ksania’s suicide, Prince Coronel openly cursed Lucretius and returned home with her coffin. The Genoans were in truth kicked out by Lucretius, who refused to negotiate.
The group marched out headed by the coffin. They held up a large black flag and wore black clothes in overt defiance.
However, Lucretius ignored them. I looked out the window as they left with a heavy heart.
It was a cloudy day soon followed by snow.
He said to me from behind, “You look unhappy.”
“… Isn’t it understandable?”
Her highness Ksania killed herself.
I did what I had to do to protect myself but knowing someone died from the incident was still shocking. Seeing the dead body in person didn’t help either.
This was the second time someone died due to a happening I, myself, am involved. Lisbeth and Ksania both died horrible deaths.
It wasn’t that I felt guilty or sympathetic. In truth, the fact that I didn’t feel these normal emotions troubled me.
I felt nothing. The longer I stayed in this world, the worse my sense of morality became. I was beginning to be worried.
Would everything turn out okay?
I had no choice but to do my best to survive until Priestess Izvita found me a way back home.
If she couldn’t find the answer, then I had to stay here till I died. If I did… it might be nice to live with Lucretius.
Was this really okay?
I couldn’t help but feel anxious.
Lucretius placed his hand on my shoulder. His hand slowly moved up and held my chin. He was being gentle but firm as he raised my face towards him.
My eyes met his.
He asked me, “Do you feel guilty?”
I smiled bitterly. “… I wish I did.”
“What do you mean?”
I murmured as if talking to myself, “I am looking through my thoughts to find guilt, but I can’t find it. I feel something similar to guilt, but it’s not real. In fact, I am making myself feel it.”
“…”
“It’s like I am redefining the definition of guilt.”
After a short silence, he said to me, “You shouldn’t feel guilty, so it shouldn’t bother you.”
“You are used to this life. You have lived like this since you were born.”
“…”
“What you feel and don’t feel is normal for you, but not to me. Where I used to live, things didn’t happen like this… I wasn’t like this.”
Lucretius tried to console me, but it didn’t help. It just sounded like he was trying to convince me of something a mistake I know I made.
“As I said, it’s normal for you to not feel guilty.”
“…”
“Because I took away your guilt.”
I smiled awkwardly. “What nonsense are you talking about now?”
“I am the one who forced you into this battle, and with that, I also took away all your guilt and sympathy. So…” He paused before emphasizing his last sentence. “You just have to blame me for everything.”
I smiled. “Stop it. Nobody took away anything from me.”
“I did. I want everything from you. I am greedy for you.”
He grabbed my hair and kissed it.
He whispered again as if to brainwash me, “Your guilt is mine. I am taking it, so if you want, you can hate me for it.”
“You said you love me… So why would you want me to hate you?”
He smiled confidently. “Because I am a monster without a heart.”
“Don’t be ridiculous. You have a heart.”
“I do, but it’s here.”
He pointed at me. “You are my heart, so as long as you are safe, I will be invincible. You can blame me and resent me all you want. I will allow it.”
I gave him a small smile. “You are very kind today.”
“Just to you. Only you.”
Even when he was trying to comfort me, his words were violent, selfish, and… painfully sweet.
I wanted to believe him.
Of course, this was not the way. I always had to have the last word.
“My guilt is my own. Don’t think you can steal it from me.”
I hugged him. I hugged my accomplice tightly.
