It took everything I had to dissuade him. He wanted to ‘help’ me get my dress off and loosen my corset.
I refused him as emphatically as possible. I told him I actually lost a lot of weight recently, so the corset wasn’t as tight as he thought it might be.
When he insisted on ‘helping’ me, I finally said to him, “This is your workplace! What do you think the dowager empress would say if she finds out?!”
Thankfully, he agreed with me on this point and gave up.
What would the dowager empress, and everyone else in the castle, think if I left the emperor’s office with my clothes in disarray? Lucretius would have looked like a sex-crazed tyrant. I would have been called worse.
I assured him I now felt much better. Lucretius seemed disappointed, but he let me go nonetheless.
‘This was way too close. I better be more careful from now on!’
I sweated a little while picking up the teacup the servant brought.
I looked down at the tea while trying to calm down.
Come on, Sa Bina! Snap out of it!
Luckily, Lucretius changed the subject.
“By the way, I’m glad the chancellor appeared to like you.”
“Is… that so?”
“He said his daughter-in-law will come to visit you. He is referring to his second son’s wife, the Countess.”
“…”
“He is offering to boost your social status in this kingdom.”
I nodded and replied, “It will be very helpful to establish myself while the dowager empress lay low until the birth of her child. I am thankful.”
He looked at me again like he was studying me.
Finally, he asked me nonchalantly, “By the way… I heard you are interested in the princesses?”
My whole body tensed. I knew I couldn’t hide my reaction on my face, but quickly, I smiled and replied, “Yes.”
“Why?”
I couldn’t show him any hesitation or uncertainty.
I answered immediately, “Do I really need to answer that?”
“What?”
He became stiff. This was new. Lucretius has always shown confidence in everything, but this time, he looked stunned.
This was perfect.
I explained, “Even though I didn’t tell you about this, you already knew about it. I am sure you already thought about it and decided you know why I did it.”
“…”
I felt like I swallowed fire. I drank a big gulp of my tea, but it didn’t help. In fact, it felt worse.
Strangely, my head was clear and calm.
I smiled openly and asked, “Was it Samantha?”
“…”
“Or Agnes?”
“…”
“I guess it could be the Loventis sisters too. It’s unlikely, but I suppose I can’t rule out Lisbeth completely either.”
The room became silent.
Who was it? I contemplated coldly as I said to him.
“You must already know everything but humor me. It was only this morning when I asked to find out about the princesses.”
“…”
“And then, it took my maids two hours to prepare me for this visit. So it must be during that time, someone came to you to let you know exactly what I said.”
My lips smiled, but I knew my eyes didn’t.
“This means you must have a good guess on why I did it. Won’t you be a dear and tell me what you think?”
I didn’t expect him to actually answer me. He always did what he wanted. He always wanted to be in control of the situation. Therefore, I didn’t think he would let me have this.
Even then, I pushed on. My instinct told me if I didn’t do this, I will never gain any kind of control in the future.
Maybe I will never be able to have complete faith in him, but I at least needed to be able to trust him, even for a little.
If I didn’t, then there was no point in working with him. It would be a better option for me to just run away from this castle.
Most of all…
I was just furious.
I was angry, that was why I pushed him.
I insisted.
“Please tell me. You already know, right?”
“…”
A long silence persisted all over us before he finally opened his mouth.
“… You probably decided that the princesses will be helpful for you in the future.”
I gave him a cold smile and asked, “And? What did you think I would do?”
“… If I guessed correctly, you will try to contact them personally. If you treat them with kindness, there is a good chance they will learn to like you. They have been deprived of any form of kindness, so it shouldn’t be too hard.”
“…”
It was a perfect deduction. This was exactly what I was planning to do. When he told me his guess, I felt even more furious.
I felt angry that he was spying on me this closely. I felt frustrated that he could read me so easily. I felt ashamed that my way of thinking was so similar to his. I also felt petty for trying to use children for my plan.
Everything made me angry.
However, I calmly continued. I congratulated him sarcastically.
“You are indeed very wise.”
I sat my cup down loudly. I bowed deeply and asked, “Now, please allow me to leave.”
“…”
I didn’t wait for his answer. Instead, I said to him sharply, “Was it really necessary to make me come here to confirm this? I am aware that you are monitoring me and that you know everything that goes on around me. If you feel like you need to spy on me even at night, I really don’t see the point, so there is no need for you to visit me every night.”
I turned around before waiting for his answer.
Until the door closed behind me, Lucretius didn’t say anything. I didn’t know why, but my heart felt shockingly cold.
***
I looked around the room. My maids were working together while chatting with each other.
My first guess was Samantha.
She was my principle maid in waiting, but she used to be the emperor’s first. The chances were very high that she was his spy.
The next possibility was Agnes.
I could see her being the mole as well. Agnes was the adopted sister of Lucretius’ birth mother. She hated the former emperor and the dowager empress with all her heart. She was also the one who overreacted when I showed interest in the princesses.
The next was Elza and Luis. It was unlikely that they were the spies, but I couldn’t rule them out for sure.
I was kind to them when I was poisoned. Since we were about the same age, we became close. However, they were from a noble family loyal to Lucretius. They were also ordered by the emperor to serve me. If they were asked to spy on me by Lucretius, I knew they wouldn’t be able to refuse him.
And lastly, Lisbeth.
“…”
It was a ridiculous idea. I did consider the possibility, especially the way she acted in the emperor’s office, but I knew it was not possible. She had the motive and willingness, but I didn’t think Lucretius would be stupid enough to use someone so unreliable.
It could be anyone, but I felt certain it couldn’t possibly be her.
Suddenly, I remembered what Lisbeth did yesterday. I became so furious at finding out about a spy, I forgot what she did to me.
She dolled up to compete against me for the emperor’s attention. She ended up being dragged away, and now, she was glaring at me.
I wondered if my plan for her was at all realistic.
“…”
I sighed while Lisbeth continued to glare at me angrily.
All the other maids could see her discontentment too. Samantha finally couldn’t take it anymore.
“Lady Lisbeth, please stop your glaring. It’s rude.”
“P, pardon?” Lisbeth seemed shocked as she looked around. She then answered innocently, “I wasn’t glaring at her highness at all.”
“…”
“…”
Agnes said to her in a low voice.
“Everyone here can see how you are glaring at her highness.”
“But, that’s…!” Lisbeth seemed flustered for a second, but she recovered quickly and yelled, “It’s because what her highness did to me yesterday. I just felt like I was treated unfairly.”
The room became tense.
I asked her carefully, “What is it that I have done? I don’t understand what you are talking about.”
Lisbeth’s eyes sharpened as she pouted her pretty pink lips. Her eyes started to fill with tears as she answered.
“I know your highness hates me… I know you are concerned that his highness may come to like me. At first, when Orlean told me this, I didn’t believe her, but… The way her highness treats me proved that Orlean was right all along.”
It took everything I had to dissuade him. He wanted to ‘help’ me get my dress off and loosen my corset.
I refused him as emphatically as possible. I told him I actually lost a lot of weight recently, so the corset wasn’t as tight as he thought it might be.
When he insisted on ‘helping’ me, I finally said to him, “This is your workplace! What do you think the dowager empress would say if she finds out?!”
Thankfully, he agreed with me on this point and gave up.
What would the dowager empress, and everyone else in the castle, think if I left the emperor’s office with my clothes in disarray? Lucretius would have looked like a sex-crazed tyrant. I would have been called worse.
I assured him I now felt much better. Lucretius seemed disappointed, but he let me go nonetheless.
‘This was way too close. I better be more careful from now on!’
I sweated a little while picking up the teacup the servant brought.
I looked down at the tea while trying to calm down.
Come on, Sa Bina! Snap out of it!
Luckily, Lucretius changed the subject.
“By the way, I’m glad the chancellor appeared to like you.”
“Is… that so?”
“He said his daughter-in-law will come to visit you. He is referring to his second son’s wife, the Countess.”
“…”
“He is offering to boost your social status in this kingdom.”
I nodded and replied, “It will be very helpful to establish myself while the dowager empress lay low until the birth of her child. I am thankful.”
He looked at me again like he was studying me.
Finally, he asked me nonchalantly, “By the way… I heard you are interested in the princesses?”
My whole body tensed. I knew I couldn’t hide my reaction on my face, but quickly, I smiled and replied, “Yes.”
“Why?”
I couldn’t show him any hesitation or uncertainty.
I answered immediately, “Do I really need to answer that?”
“What?”
He became stiff. This was new. Lucretius has always shown confidence in everything, but this time, he looked stunned.
This was perfect.
I explained, “Even though I didn’t tell you about this, you already knew about it. I am sure you already thought about it and decided you know why I did it.”
“…”
I felt like I swallowed fire. I drank a big gulp of my tea, but it didn’t help. In fact, it felt worse.
Strangely, my head was clear and calm.
I smiled openly and asked, “Was it Samantha?”
“…”
“Or Agnes?”
“…”
“I guess it could be the Loventis sisters too. It’s unlikely, but I suppose I can’t rule out Lisbeth completely either.”
The room became silent.
Who was it? I contemplated coldly as I said to him.
“You must already know everything but humor me. It was only this morning when I asked to find out about the princesses.”
“…”
“And then, it took my maids two hours to prepare me for this visit. So it must be during that time, someone came to you to let you know exactly what I said.”
My lips smiled, but I knew my eyes didn’t.
“This means you must have a good guess on why I did it. Won’t you be a dear and tell me what you think?”
I didn’t expect him to actually answer me. He always did what he wanted. He always wanted to be in control of the situation. Therefore, I didn’t think he would let me have this.
Even then, I pushed on. My instinct told me if I didn’t do this, I will never gain any kind of control in the future.
Maybe I will never be able to have complete faith in him, but I at least needed to be able to trust him, even for a little.
If I didn’t, then there was no point in working with him. It would be a better option for me to just run away from this castle.
Most of all…
I was just furious.
I was angry, that was why I pushed him.
I insisted.
“Please tell me. You already know, right?”
“…”
A long silence persisted all over us before he finally opened his mouth.
“… You probably decided that the princesses will be helpful for you in the future.”
I gave him a cold smile and asked, “And? What did you think I would do?”
“… If I guessed correctly, you will try to contact them personally. If you treat them with kindness, there is a good chance they will learn to like you. They have been deprived of any form of kindness, so it shouldn’t be too hard.”
“…”
It was a perfect deduction. This was exactly what I was planning to do. When he told me his guess, I felt even more furious.
I felt angry that he was spying on me this closely. I felt frustrated that he could read me so easily. I felt ashamed that my way of thinking was so similar to his. I also felt petty for trying to use children for my plan.
Everything made me angry.
However, I calmly continued. I congratulated him sarcastically.
“You are indeed very wise.”
I sat my cup down loudly. I bowed deeply and asked, “Now, please allow me to leave.”
“…”
I didn’t wait for his answer. Instead, I said to him sharply, “Was it really necessary to make me come here to confirm this? I am aware that you are monitoring me and that you know everything that goes on around me. If you feel like you need to spy on me even at night, I really don’t see the point, so there is no need for you to visit me every night.”
I turned around before waiting for his answer.
Until the door closed behind me, Lucretius didn’t say anything. I didn’t know why, but my heart felt shockingly cold.
***
I looked around the room. My maids were working together while chatting with each other.
My first guess was Samantha.
She was my principle maid in waiting, but she used to be the emperor’s first. The chances were very high that she was his spy.
The next possibility was Agnes.
I could see her being the mole as well. Agnes was the adopted sister of Lucretius’ birth mother. She hated the former emperor and the dowager empress with all her heart. She was also the one who overreacted when I showed interest in the princesses.
The next was Elza and Luis. It was unlikely that they were the spies, but I couldn’t rule them out for sure.
I was kind to them when I was poisoned. Since we were about the same age, we became close. However, they were from a noble family loyal to Lucretius. They were also ordered by the emperor to serve me. If they were asked to spy on me by Lucretius, I knew they wouldn’t be able to refuse him.
And lastly, Lisbeth.
“…”
It was a ridiculous idea. I did consider the possibility, especially the way she acted in the emperor’s office, but I knew it was not possible. She had the motive and willingness, but I didn’t think Lucretius would be stupid enough to use someone so unreliable.
It could be anyone, but I felt certain it couldn’t possibly be her.
Suddenly, I remembered what Lisbeth did yesterday. I became so furious at finding out about a spy, I forgot what she did to me.
She dolled up to compete against me for the emperor’s attention. She ended up being dragged away, and now, she was glaring at me.
I wondered if my plan for her was at all realistic.
“…”
I sighed while Lisbeth continued to glare at me angrily.
All the other maids could see her discontentment too. Samantha finally couldn’t take it anymore.
“Lady Lisbeth, please stop your glaring. It’s rude.”
“P, pardon?” Lisbeth seemed shocked as she looked around. She then answered innocently, “I wasn’t glaring at her highness at all.”
“…”
“…”
Agnes said to her in a low voice.
“Everyone here can see how you are glaring at her highness.”
“But, that’s…!” Lisbeth seemed flustered for a second, but she recovered quickly and yelled, “It’s because what her highness did to me yesterday. I just felt like I was treated unfairly.”
The room became tense.
I asked her carefully, “What is it that I have done? I don’t understand what you are talking about.”
Lisbeth’s eyes sharpened as she pouted her pretty pink lips. Her eyes started to fill with tears as she answered.
“I know your highness hates me… I know you are concerned that his highness may come to like me. At first, when Orlean told me this, I didn’t believe her, but… The way her highness treats me proved that Orlean was right all along.”
