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Published at 18th of September 2018 02:14:18 AM


Chapter 35

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Now that I think about it, I've never had someone that I really "liked" in my life.

Of course I like grandfather, father, mom, my sister, Neko, and Marry-chan. 
I like my friend, Yuuga-kun, as well. 
But not about that kind of "like"; not the like that you have for someone like your family or friends...
What I think that I never had in my life is the feeling of "like" that I have toward someone from the opposite sex.

Even when I saw any beatiful girl, the only thing that crossed my mind is "Oh, that girl is pretty."
Even when I met someone that's not afraid of me, I only thought about her as a good person.
Of course, I'm fond of those people... but that thing is far from that thing called "love".

I thought that when I married with someone, the "like" feeling will gradually change into "love" .
I thought that when am married with someone, I go with the flow and have a marriage with the same "like" feeling that I've thought all this time.
I thought, that the love will deepen with time after we married.

... In the past, though, of about three years ago, I've heard the start of romance between father and mother. 
There was a time when I asked them why did they marry...
It seems that they fell in love with each other the time their eyes met. 
I didn't quite understand the feeling of falling in love at first sight. 
Is it a feeling of fondness?... The feeling of wanting to get closer to the said person the moment I looked at that person? 
Is it the feeling of knowing that said person will be good match with me the first time I see the person? 
I asked my parents about it, it seems that I was wrong. 
They said that it's someting that's hard for them to convey with words...

Perhaps it that saying where [ Love is not something that you've done. It's something that happens. ] ? 
(ED: If you guys are confused, the saying can also be "Love is not something that you can control. You just fall in love.")
Hovewer, love, with such a coaxing word [ happens (falls) ], I can't understand it no matter how much I think about it.  (ED: That's the point, and he just missed it.)
After all, it somehow gives me a minus feeling. 
I even thought, can't they think of another expression for that?

 

 

 

On the third day after gramps stayed at our place. 
The Nizzet household's carriage arrived at the Ractos household's manor. 
It's beause we will hold the rumoured, well, my marriage interview. 
Standing in a neat row in front of the house to welcom them, is the entire body of the house.
At that time, I'm probably feeling nervous. 
All I was thinking is that... I musnt't scare that girl. 
What should I do so that she wouldn't be scared of me?... I racked my head as I thought at that time.

Though it's something that happened only several hours ago, I already can't remember what I really thought of at that time. 
After all, right now my head is full with another thing.

The time that Count Nizzet came to our front door, bringing together his wife and daughter,  his greeting sounds so far away.
My eyes are aleady nailed on their daughter. (ED: Cue music)

The beautiful deep blue coloured long hair with a gradation of black that look like darkness, which extends until her waist. 
The perfect white face that peeked out from her hair that's parted in the middle.
And then, her deep blue eyes, that's darker than the colour of her hair opened and showed to be half drowsy, feels like I'll be sucked into it. 
On her body, though it's not some fancy dress, but rather an elegant and refined dress robe, strenghtened her charming look even more. 
Then on her chest, hangs a beautifull blue and red coloured magic stone that's really suits her robe, as if representing the Madam and Mister Nizzet.
 
... Honestly, I've seen a noblegirl that's more beautiful than her. 
But even so, I still think that she's more beautifull than any of them...
To the extent that I mutter from under my breath: [ how beautiful ]

It made me remember something. 
Love is not something that you've done. It's something that happens.
So that's it. I think I realize it now. 
Indeed, right now I feel like something happened to me. 
Not something that made me feel scared or worried... but something that's blissfull to me.

I felt like I understand why father and mother said that they can't find a correct word for this feeling. 
So that's it. I understand now. 
Indeed, I can't really express this feeling words.
Surely, I will not be able to describe how this feeling is. 
Just like how I think that I've never fallen in love before. 
So that's it. I undestand now.
Up until this point, I had really never fallen in love with anyone. 
But surely that's fate.
The true one that I've fallen in love in this world, I decided it, it will be her. 
To the extent that I thought of such line ...

 

I , Jake Ractos, fell in love the first time I saw Anessa Nizzet.





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