I sat on the floor, began to ponder over the issue of Yu Zi Fei.
Did I really liked that cheap person, until now still could not forget him?
I carefully thought for a moment to rule out this hypothesis. Although I occasionally seemed silly but whether or not I liked someone, I still could discern. Today when I saw him, feeling was no longer the same as earlier, no happiness no excitement and even no desire, I was just a little, there was a little…..uneasiness?
Why the uneasiness, I was not sorry for him after all he was the one who betrayed me first!! I felt very strange. I admit, during the wedding preparations, my mind always rifled with Yu Zi Fei’s shadow, sometimes I even hugged his illusion out of suspicion. But after seeing him, I discovered I did not like him, really did not like him. Although when I first saw him today, my head began to ache, legs weakened enough to the extent that they were unable to work.
But, why should I be anxious, uneasy or be overwhelmed? I also did not have anything like good conscience; this was an eye for an eye, ah!!!
Upset, I turned on the TV, preparing for a pastime.
The variety shows are always full of extremely good looking people, as a hardcore member of the association, things like beautiful outer appearance was really my taste. So in front of the special appeal of those handsome faces, I quickly forgot about the problem of Yu Zi Fei.
Watched TV for a while, then Jiang Li also came out from the bath. I casually glanced at him and momentarily became unfocused.
Holy God, a gay ‘top’ man could also have such charms, Heavens, where’s the justice!!!!!
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Jiang Li was wearing his pajama, kind of exuding a lazy and relaxed atmosphere, his damp hair draped over his forehead, at this moment his perfectly chiseled face appeared soft due to fatigue. His pajama did not have any knots, secured only by a belt at the waist. Then his long slender neck, a sexy collarbone, with a strong chest that was displayed in front of me so triumphantly. His pajama was very thin and his body hidden under such a flimsy pajama revealed an especially narrow looking waist and long legs, standing in an upright manner.
This figure, this ratio, certainly, definitely no ordinary things ......
Jiang Li’s question interrupted my reverie. He asked: "Want to see?"
I recovered my senses, found that he was smiling at me; his hands were resting on his pajama belt, as if about to take it off. Then he repeated the question: “Want to see?"
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My face "burned" red, turned my head to continue watching TV. Oh Holy God, was my expression really that eager? Watching TV watching TV, I really had pure thoughts only! But, but, but I really wanted to see….ah! Those male TV stars compared to Jiang Li- were simply too feeble! Moreover, No one was wearing pajama…I unpromisingly swallowed my saliva back, staring at the screen continued to fantasize.
I did not even bat an eye while looking at TV, Jiang Li suddenly sat down on sofa, said: "don’t want to see.”
Damn it, he was really going too far!
I tried to squeeze out a contemptuous expression, glanced at him, cynically said: "Who wants to see? What, Is there anything very beautiful?”
Jiang Li calmly said: "First wipe saliva from your mouth before saying these words, then the effect will be better.”
I hurriedly raised my hand and rubbed my mouth a few times, how could there be any saliva?
Due to my menial action a light laughter came from Jiang Li who was sitting beside me.
I took the remote control to throw it on the couch, removed jewelry, took bath and went to sleep! I did not have time to accompany and chat with this scum, the key point here was not the chat, but it was the chat between people with mentality of an abuser and abused.
Jiang Li and I had decided earlier about the distribution of rooms to sleep, a couple like us, who began to estrange right from the wedding night, was really rare. Our focus was on our privacy, so relaxed, so natural, very good, very good.
Actually about this problem in particular, sleeping in separate room, I had a few scruples, this hesitation was not related to Jiang Li, it was mainly due to my personal reasons. Now before I did say how I cannot dare to sleep alone, a bad habit I developed carelessly four years ago while I was heartbroken. At that time my wedding to Yi Zi Fei was let out like a pigeon, as a result for a long time I had all sorts of strange dreams almost every day, if it was not a dream of being left alone on a deserted island or being in silos then it was either a war or accident, while people were fleeing he would just carelessly abandon me. Anyway, in all my dreams I ended up being left alone in the dark place or smoke filled the sky, the surrounding circumstances were always so diabolical, making me crouch and quiver badly, trembling and shaking…later I developed a habit of waking up in the middle of nightmare at midnight. In the end could not sleep again after waking up, to do so, I consecutively watched horror movies. Originally I was super scared to watch those horror movies, but I really did not know what came down to my mind in the end to do so (watch such movies). Suddenly -like a person who watches such movies in the middle of night, ends up giving extreme reactions to everything, after watching the horror movies I tend to tremble more, shake more severely than earlier, at times my heart seemed to squirt out. I always felt that the room was filled with all kinds of ghosts; blanket had one, under the bed and also on the pillow….too horrifying. Then one day after I finished watching the horror movie I went to my mother's bed to sleep, turned out unexpectedly could sleep soundly…..
After that, I immediately pestered my mother every night, the result my nightmares and paranoia were miraculously cured. But if I sleep alone, all those horrible feelings from the past would come back to me.
And so, the lost love turned in baptism, because of my interest in horror movies I cultivated this special of habit of unable to sleep alone. I was twenty-seven years old and confessing about being scared was quite shameful!
My Twenty-seventh birthday was also coming up, so I had a great desire to create a whole new Xiao Guan Yan, so started with beginning to sleep alone.
I sat on the floor, began to ponder over the issue of Yu Zi Fei.
Did I really liked that cheap person, until now still could not forget him?
I carefully thought for a moment to rule out this hypothesis. Although I occasionally seemed silly but whether or not I liked someone, I still could discern. Today when I saw him, feeling was no longer the same as earlier, no happiness no excitement and even no desire, I was just a little, there was a little…..uneasiness?
Why the uneasiness, I was not sorry for him after all he was the one who betrayed me first!! I felt very strange. I admit, during the wedding preparations, my mind always rifled with Yu Zi Fei’s shadow, sometimes I even hugged his illusion out of suspicion. But after seeing him, I discovered I did not like him, really did not like him. Although when I first saw him today, my head began to ache, legs weakened enough to the extent that they were unable to work.
But, why should I be anxious, uneasy or be overwhelmed? I also did not have anything like good conscience; this was an eye for an eye, ah!!!
Upset, I turned on the TV, preparing for a pastime.
The variety shows are always full of extremely good looking people, as a hardcore member of the association, things like beautiful outer appearance was really my taste. So in front of the special appeal of those handsome faces, I quickly forgot about the problem of Yu Zi Fei.
Watched TV for a while, then Jiang Li also came out from the bath. I casually glanced at him and momentarily became unfocused.
Holy God, a gay ‘top’ man could also have such charms, Heavens, where’s the justice!!!!!
Jiang Li was wearing his pajama, kind of exuding a lazy and relaxed atmosphere, his damp hair draped over his forehead, at this moment his perfectly chiseled face appeared soft due to fatigue. His pajama did not have any knots, secured only by a belt at the waist. Then his long slender neck, a sexy collarbone, with a strong chest that was displayed in front of me so triumphantly. His pajama was very thin and his body hidden under such a flimsy pajama revealed an especially narrow looking waist and long legs, standing in an upright manner.
This figure, this ratio, certainly, definitely no ordinary things ......
Jiang Li’s question interrupted my reverie. He asked: "Want to see?"
I recovered my senses, found that he was smiling at me; his hands were resting on his pajama belt, as if about to take it off. Then he repeated the question: “Want to see?"
My face "burned" red, turned my head to continue watching TV. Oh Holy God, was my expression really that eager? Watching TV watching TV, I really had pure thoughts only! But, but, but I really wanted to see….ah! Those male TV stars compared to Jiang Li- were simply too feeble! Moreover, No one was wearing pajama…I unpromisingly swallowed my saliva back, staring at the screen continued to fantasize.
I did not even bat an eye while looking at TV, Jiang Li suddenly sat down on sofa, said: "don’t want to see.”
Damn it, he was really going too far!
I tried to squeeze out a contemptuous expression, glanced at him, cynically said: "Who wants to see? What, Is there anything very beautiful?”
Jiang Li calmly said: "First wipe saliva from your mouth before saying these words, then the effect will be better.”
I hurriedly raised my hand and rubbed my mouth a few times, how could there be any saliva?
Due to my menial action a light laughter came from Jiang Li who was sitting beside me.
I took the remote control to throw it on the couch, removed jewelry, took bath and went to sleep! I did not have time to accompany and chat with this scum, the key point here was not the chat, but it was the chat between people with mentality of an abuser and abused.
Jiang Li and I had decided earlier about the distribution of rooms to sleep, a couple like us, who began to estrange right from the wedding night, was really rare. Our focus was on our privacy, so relaxed, so natural, very good, very good.
Actually about this problem in particular, sleeping in separate room, I had a few scruples, this hesitation was not related to Jiang Li, it was mainly due to my personal reasons. Now before I did say how I cannot dare to sleep alone, a bad habit I developed carelessly four years ago while I was heartbroken. At that time my wedding to Yi Zi Fei was let out like a pigeon, as a result for a long time I had all sorts of strange dreams almost every day, if it was not a dream of being left alone on a deserted island or being in silos then it was either a war or accident, while people were fleeing he would just carelessly abandon me. Anyway, in all my dreams I ended up being left alone in the dark place or smoke filled the sky, the surrounding circumstances were always so diabolical, making me crouch and quiver badly, trembling and shaking…later I developed a habit of waking up in the middle of nightmare at midnight. In the end could not sleep again after waking up, to do so, I consecutively watched horror movies. Originally I was super scared to watch those horror movies, but I really did not know what came down to my mind in the end to do so (watch such movies). Suddenly -like a person who watches such movies in the middle of night, ends up giving extreme reactions to everything, after watching the horror movies I tend to tremble more, shake more severely than earlier, at times my heart seemed to squirt out. I always felt that the room was filled with all kinds of ghosts; blanket had one, under the bed and also on the pillow….too horrifying. Then one day after I finished watching the horror movie I went to my mother's bed to sleep, turned out unexpectedly could sleep soundly…..
After that, I immediately pestered my mother every night, the result my nightmares and paranoia were miraculously cured. But if I sleep alone, all those horrible feelings from the past would come back to me.
And so, the lost love turned in baptism, because of my interest in horror movies I cultivated this special of habit of unable to sleep alone. I was twenty-seven years old and confessing about being scared was quite shameful!
My Twenty-seventh birthday was also coming up, so I had a great desire to create a whole new Xiao Guan Yan, so started with beginning to sleep alone.
