This is a Seriously Awkward Scene
I sat on the edge of the bed and watched as Julie answered a mysterious call that made her panic and pace around the room. It was rare to see Julie act like this. She was usually such a precocious person, she was just like a diamond with 256 surfaces. Every surface could cater to different circumstances. She was my idol and final target. What kind circumstances could actually baffle her……
I looked at her with confusion, “Julie, what’s wrong? It’s so early in the morning and you’re acting a pendulum clock. Walking left and right, clapping your hands as you walk; it makes my head hurt just looking at you.”
“You’re the one who slept as if you had fainted. You’ve already slept for 12 hours, so don’t push the blame on me.” Julie continued to pace.
“Then are you exercising your body? Is this a new yoga style? You also need to pat your arms. The elderly women at the park all exercise like that by the street.They walk in the reverse, and while and they clap their palms while they walk. Reportedly, it can slow down the aging process.”
Julie stopped walking and glared at me with an extremely deep look in her eyes.
I developed a sense of fear in my heart, “What are you looking at? Don’t tell me you’ve fallen in love with me…..I have a boyfriend and our body organs are nearly the same. I like people with male hormones.” Both my hands protected my chest, as I deliberately lowered my voice longer as I spoke.
“That’s enough, that’s enough, don’t show off your good looks shamelessly. Whose body is the same as yours? Are the things we both have in front of our bodies the same?” She pointed at my exposed bra strap and continued, “This toy that you have is only a decoration. There’s no difference if you wear it or not. You’re full of male hormones and still act afraid of me?” I was infuriated, but I couldn’t find anyway to retort so I became very sad . Julie suddenly sat up straight and looked at me, “Linlin, how do you feel that I treat you?”
I wiped away my eye gum, “Not bad.”
“Speak earnestly.”
“Very menacingly.” I could only tell the truth.
Julie ignored my words and continued, “I usually help you with so many things so at least help me with one thing.”
“I’m pretty busy, and I even have to prepare for the myth of 85 points…..”I purposely spoke without hurrying.
“If you do this, I’ll help you settle with your problem of living together.”
“Really?” I opened my eyes wide as I looked at her, “Tell me what the problem is quickly! As friends, knives pierce both sides [1] no matter where we are so I will definitely help you.” I patted my chest as a guarantee.
“It’s simple, you just have to help me go meet a guy.”
“What does he look like?”
“I don’t know that’s why I’m making you go. Hasn’t there been a New Zealander-Chinese who has been pursuing me recently? He came to see me this time when he came back to the country. I saw his picture, but I haven’t met the real person yet so I want you to go see him for me.”
“Then why don’t you go yourself?”
“He said we have a lot of fate together, so he definitely wanted to meet me. I feel that guys are all wild animals. How can they say stuff like fate? I just want to know if he will still say that we have fate if he sees someone who looks like you. If he still perseveres, I’ll go take a look. I also haven’t had an interesting experience recently.”
“What are you saying? Oh so you’re saying that my face will cause people to lose their appetite right? Then how would Fang Yuke like me?”
“So your Fang Yuke is a good man who cares about fate, so much so that he won’t care about aesthetics or intelligence…….”
“Hey……” I was speechless, “ I have a very energetic personality.”
“Yep, definitely very energetic. When people can’t brag about their beauty they brag about their cuteness. If they can’t compliment on cuteness, they can only compliment their essence. You can even take your energy and turn it into some kind of positive word”
“If you speak another word I won’t help you go to this mysterious meeting. Also, if that man and I fall in love at first sight, you better not cry.”
“Oh let it go. Do you think every man is like Fang Yuke, unique in their taste? We’ve agreed. Tomorrow at 4:00 pm, at the Shisheng Yuan Restaurant. He is called Wang Yimo, commonly referred to as Xiao Mo. 23 years old, studying in a university at New Zealand. His mom is a painter and his dad is a business man. He also opened his own business. He mainly does trade in cars. There’s so much to his background. Don’t reveal the cloven foot [2]. I will also show up but I will sit farther away. I will not let him see me.”
I absentmindedly agreed and got off the bed to wash my face and rinse my mouth. I hadn’t received a call from Fang Yuke the whole day. When I called him, his phone was turned off. I called his dorm, and his dorm mates said that he left early and he even said he would live in his off campus home. I always felt that my heart was not too strong. I faintly felt something bad would happen.
It was said that things like meeting online friends was unfamiliar at first but well accustomed soon after . Last time when I met Wen Tao I was very nervous, afraid that I would meet an ugly hacker and hang myself. This time, I was merely going through the motions, in a play about pure friendship. I had no thoughts of bearing burdens. The most important thing was that I didn’t need to put on makeup. My original face without makeup was great. The uglier, the better.
Thus, I lead on a table in Shisheng Yuan Restaurant . Through the glass I could see sparrows bouncing around in the wutong trees back and forth. Julie wore a peaked cap on her head and a big mask, hiding in the corner. I was afraid that other people wouldn’t know what was going on and would think she was a spy.
I had almost fallen asleep but the legendary online user hadn’t gotten to the scene yet. I organized the table and prepared to beat it. It was even better if I could stand him up. It would even simplify matters.
When I lifted my head, I saw a lofty, tall and sturdy man standing in front of me. He suspiciously sized me up: “Are you Julie?”
“No.” I talked without thinking. After I replied I realized my mission and replied, “Sorry, I am.”
The man scanned me from head to toe, “Ridiculous.”
Thanks to Fang Yuke’s recent English coaching, I actually understood what this word meant. I glared at him, thinking, ‘Your mom is the one who’s amusing’.
I resentfully said, “Aren’t you Chinese? Why are you speaking English? I haven’t passed my fourth year yet. Speak Chinese.”
That person laughed, quietly sitting down to look at the menu. After awhile he said, “Just now, I didn’t say you were ridiculous, I was saying……is she the one who asked you to come?”
I instantly began to worry. Could I really have been exposed so quickly?
“What are you talking about, I don’t understand.” I timidly said.
“You definitely aren’t Julie. She speaks differently from you, she’s much more gently.”
“Then you are really lowly. You just had to find a vicious one.” When I finished, I regretted it. I had sold Julie out so quickly. It seemed I had no hope for my life of living together with Fang Yuke.
“Haha, it doesn’t matter. This time I came back to see what changes there were in Peking University people. When I was little, my mom came here to sketch and I would play. So many years have passed in a blink of an eye.” The man sighed.
I glanced at his thick eyebrows and big eyes and his Northern Chinese appearance. What was he called again? Wang Yimo?
“You aren’t that old anyways. How come you’re pretending to be old? Didn’t you come back to see Julie?”
“I saw her. It’s the one that keeps looking at us, the one hiding in the corner……”
I silently thought, Virtue is one foot tall while the devil is ten feet tall [3]. Julie has been smart for her whole life, but I’m afraid she’ll be wrapped around this person’s finger.
Wang Yimo laughed and said, “Actually, I wasn’t sure, but seeing your expression can be counted as a kind of tacit approval. Don’t worry. I believe she has her reasons to choose to use this kind of method to meet me.”
I forced myself to laugh. I didn’t know what to say. This kind of feeling was was like when you perform in an opera by yourself, the audience members run to the stage and say, “Everything you’ve been acting is a lie”. I awkwardly stood there and didn’t know if I should storm off in a huff or argue strongly.
Looking askance, I saw Yuke wearing a thin black Western suit as he came in. I immediately lowered my head. Right now, if I was to be discovered by him on this date in my disguised form, I would have to explain for a super long time again. I still hadn’t apologized for my anger yesterday. So I shouldn’t look for trouble.
With one hand, I covered my cheeks, as I leaned my head 45 degrees, hoping to bury myself in the corner. From the corner of my eye, I saw Fang Yuke was followed by a girl in the prime of her youth who was seating herself next to him. I became agitated immediately and turned around at once.
She looked like a girl in the prime of her youth but with a careful look it seemed like she was also 25 or 26. She wore a red wine colored overcoat that exposed two legs that were tightly wrapped in black leggings, with slender big legs. With her eight centimeter high Versace leather shoes, and her pretty and flirtatious red ribbons that were twisted around her ankles. This mature and sophisticated woman……it was the style that Fang Yuke liked.
My heart had 10,000 why’s, and I wished I could immediately rush up and go examine him. My mom was right. Fang Yuke was great everything, but he was just too hot. My potential rivals in love included women from age 99 to those who were had barely learnt how to walk; it was at least 50% of the earth’s population; really too much. Look, the virtuous women are finally coming to join in the fun.
Wang Yimo followed my line of sight and looked at them and spoke, “You know them?”
I shook my head, “I only know half.”
“Understood. Caught two-timing, eh?”
I glared at him, “What eyes did you use to see him two-timing? This is called normal social activities. We have to give him enough space. Freedom, got it?”
“Your expression just now was like the primary wife sizing up the second wife.” Wang Yimo laughed.
“Hey, please speak nicely. Don’t think that just because you’re Julie’s boyfriend I’ll let you off. Just now, I was only curious and observing.” When I finished, my eyes followed Fang Yuke.
The hateful red clothed woman actually extended her claws towards Fang Yuke’s hair. She pushed Fang Yuke’s bangs aside and even softly said something to Fang Yuke. This was obviously two-timing. In any case, Fang Yuke enjoyed it and continued to drink his coffee. Hey, that rascal, when I touched his hair, he even set himself against me. I was done for. I saw that she might as well be the primary wife.
My mood had fallen to an all-time low immediately. I foolishly thought that I had gotten first prize, and picked up a hot guy by the road. Since then, my life revolved around one thing. It was just like marrying and having a child. You didn’t need to worry about anything. The omnipotent Tian Ya was right- if one could rely on guys, female pigs would climb trees.
I looked at Wang Yimo and inquired, “Say, if I was to go over and splash her with coffee, would it seem like it came out of a novel?”
Wang Yimo shook his head and laughed, “Just now, weren’t you very optimistic? How come you changed so quickly?”
I hmphed, “Aren’t I just adapting to the situation right now?”
Wang Yimo continued, “Say don’t you think it’s strange? The two of us are sitting here. You’re secretly looking at your boyfriend and I’m secretly looking at my girlfriend.”
The moment I heard this, I cheered, “That’s right. Other people would even think that we were fighting lovers. We’re all turning our heads to drink water, absent-mindedly.”
Maybe I spoke too loudly as Fang Yuke suddenly turned around, seeing me laugh foolishly by myself. He smiled resentfully.
I curbed my smile and said to Wang Yimo, “I seem to have blown my cover. Do you think he’ll misunderstand that we have no dishonest relations between us? Do I have to say it?”
Wang Yimo laughed, “What does it have to do with me? You have to first ask Julie if she agrees. Does she want to meet me?” When he finished, he pointed in the direction that Julie was sitting.
I sighed, “What play are we acting out? So disorganized.
—
[1] 两肋插刀: lit. knifes piercing both sides (idiom) / fig. to attach a great importance to friendship, up to the point of being able to sacrifice oneself for it
[2] 露出马脚: to reveal the cloven foot (idiom); to unmask one’s true nature / to give the game away
[3] 道高一尺，魔高一丈: virtue is one foot tall, the devil ten foot (idiom); It takes constant vigilance to stave off evil.
This is a Seriously Awkward Scene
I sat on the edge of the bed and watched as Julie answered a mysterious call that made her panic and pace around the room. It was rare to see Julie act like this. She was usually such a precocious person, she was just like a diamond with 256 surfaces. Every surface could cater to different circumstances. She was my idol and final target. What kind circumstances could actually baffle her……
I looked at her with confusion, “Julie, what’s wrong? It’s so early in the morning and you’re acting a pendulum clock. Walking left and right, clapping your hands as you walk; it makes my head hurt just looking at you.”
“You’re the one who slept as if you had fainted. You’ve already slept for 12 hours, so don’t push the blame on me.” Julie continued to pace.
“Then are you exercising your body? Is this a new yoga style? You also need to pat your arms. The elderly women at the park all exercise like that by the street.They walk in the reverse, and while and they clap their palms while they walk. Reportedly, it can slow down the aging process.”
Julie stopped walking and glared at me with an extremely deep look in her eyes.
I developed a sense of fear in my heart, “What are you looking at? Don’t tell me you’ve fallen in love with me…..I have a boyfriend and our body organs are nearly the same. I like people with male hormones.” Both my hands protected my chest, as I deliberately lowered my voice longer as I spoke.
“That’s enough, that’s enough, don’t show off your good looks shamelessly. Whose body is the same as yours? Are the things we both have in front of our bodies the same?” She pointed at my exposed bra strap and continued, “This toy that you have is only a decoration. There’s no difference if you wear it or not. You’re full of male hormones and still act afraid of me?” I was infuriated, but I couldn’t find anyway to retort so I became very sad . Julie suddenly sat up straight and looked at me, “Linlin, how do you feel that I treat you?”
I wiped away my eye gum, “Not bad.”
“Speak earnestly.”
“Very menacingly.” I could only tell the truth.
Julie ignored my words and continued, “I usually help you with so many things so at least help me with one thing.”
“I’m pretty busy, and I even have to prepare for the myth of 85 points…..”I purposely spoke without hurrying.
“If you do this, I’ll help you settle with your problem of living together.”
“Really?” I opened my eyes wide as I looked at her, “Tell me what the problem is quickly! As friends, knives pierce both sides [1] no matter where we are so I will definitely help you.” I patted my chest as a guarantee.
“It’s simple, you just have to help me go meet a guy.”
“What does he look like?”
“I don’t know that’s why I’m making you go. Hasn’t there been a New Zealander-Chinese who has been pursuing me recently? He came to see me this time when he came back to the country. I saw his picture, but I haven’t met the real person yet so I want you to go see him for me.”
“Then why don’t you go yourself?”
“He said we have a lot of fate together, so he definitely wanted to meet me. I feel that guys are all wild animals. How can they say stuff like fate? I just want to know if he will still say that we have fate if he sees someone who looks like you. If he still perseveres, I’ll go take a look. I also haven’t had an interesting experience recently.”
“What are you saying? Oh so you’re saying that my face will cause people to lose their appetite right? Then how would Fang Yuke like me?”
“So your Fang Yuke is a good man who cares about fate, so much so that he won’t care about aesthetics or intelligence…….”
“Hey……” I was speechless, “ I have a very energetic personality.”
“Yep, definitely very energetic. When people can’t brag about their beauty they brag about their cuteness. If they can’t compliment on cuteness, they can only compliment their essence. You can even take your energy and turn it into some kind of positive word”
“If you speak another word I won’t help you go to this mysterious meeting. Also, if that man and I fall in love at first sight, you better not cry.”
“Oh let it go. Do you think every man is like Fang Yuke, unique in their taste? We’ve agreed. Tomorrow at 4:00 pm, at the Shisheng Yuan Restaurant. He is called Wang Yimo, commonly referred to as Xiao Mo. 23 years old, studying in a university at New Zealand. His mom is a painter and his dad is a business man. He also opened his own business. He mainly does trade in cars. There’s so much to his background. Don’t reveal the cloven foot [2]. I will also show up but I will sit farther away. I will not let him see me.”
I absentmindedly agreed and got off the bed to wash my face and rinse my mouth. I hadn’t received a call from Fang Yuke the whole day. When I called him, his phone was turned off. I called his dorm, and his dorm mates said that he left early and he even said he would live in his off campus home. I always felt that my heart was not too strong. I faintly felt something bad would happen.
It was said that things like meeting online friends was unfamiliar at first but well accustomed soon after . Last time when I met Wen Tao I was very nervous, afraid that I would meet an ugly hacker and hang myself. This time, I was merely going through the motions, in a play about pure friendship. I had no thoughts of bearing burdens. The most important thing was that I didn’t need to put on makeup. My original face without makeup was great. The uglier, the better.
Thus, I lead on a table in Shisheng Yuan Restaurant . Through the glass I could see sparrows bouncing around in the wutong trees back and forth. Julie wore a peaked cap on her head and a big mask, hiding in the corner. I was afraid that other people wouldn’t know what was going on and would think she was a spy.
I had almost fallen asleep but the legendary online user hadn’t gotten to the scene yet. I organized the table and prepared to beat it. It was even better if I could stand him up. It would even simplify matters.
When I lifted my head, I saw a lofty, tall and sturdy man standing in front of me. He suspiciously sized me up: “Are you Julie?”
“No.” I talked without thinking. After I replied I realized my mission and replied, “Sorry, I am.”
The man scanned me from head to toe, “Ridiculous.”
Thanks to Fang Yuke’s recent English coaching, I actually understood what this word meant. I glared at him, thinking, ‘Your mom is the one who’s amusing’.
I resentfully said, “Aren’t you Chinese? Why are you speaking English? I haven’t passed my fourth year yet. Speak Chinese.”
That person laughed, quietly sitting down to look at the menu. After awhile he said, “Just now, I didn’t say you were ridiculous, I was saying……is she the one who asked you to come?”
I instantly began to worry. Could I really have been exposed so quickly?
“What are you talking about, I don’t understand.” I timidly said.
“You definitely aren’t Julie. She speaks differently from you, she’s much more gently.”
“Then you are really lowly. You just had to find a vicious one.” When I finished, I regretted it. I had sold Julie out so quickly. It seemed I had no hope for my life of living together with Fang Yuke.
“Haha, it doesn’t matter. This time I came back to see what changes there were in Peking University people. When I was little, my mom came here to sketch and I would play. So many years have passed in a blink of an eye.” The man sighed.
I glanced at his thick eyebrows and big eyes and his Northern Chinese appearance. What was he called again? Wang Yimo?
“You aren’t that old anyways. How come you’re pretending to be old? Didn’t you come back to see Julie?”
“I saw her. It’s the one that keeps looking at us, the one hiding in the corner……”
I silently thought, Virtue is one foot tall while the devil is ten feet tall [3]. Julie has been smart for her whole life, but I’m afraid she’ll be wrapped around this person’s finger.
Wang Yimo laughed and said, “Actually, I wasn’t sure, but seeing your expression can be counted as a kind of tacit approval. Don’t worry. I believe she has her reasons to choose to use this kind of method to meet me.”
I forced myself to laugh. I didn’t know what to say. This kind of feeling was was like when you perform in an opera by yourself, the audience members run to the stage and say, “Everything you’ve been acting is a lie”. I awkwardly stood there and didn’t know if I should storm off in a huff or argue strongly.
Looking askance, I saw Yuke wearing a thin black Western suit as he came in. I immediately lowered my head. Right now, if I was to be discovered by him on this date in my disguised form, I would have to explain for a super long time again. I still hadn’t apologized for my anger yesterday. So I shouldn’t look for trouble.
With one hand, I covered my cheeks, as I leaned my head 45 degrees, hoping to bury myself in the corner. From the corner of my eye, I saw Fang Yuke was followed by a girl in the prime of her youth who was seating herself next to him. I became agitated immediately and turned around at once.
She looked like a girl in the prime of her youth but with a careful look it seemed like she was also 25 or 26. She wore a red wine colored overcoat that exposed two legs that were tightly wrapped in black leggings, with slender big legs. With her eight centimeter high Versace leather shoes, and her pretty and flirtatious red ribbons that were twisted around her ankles. This mature and sophisticated woman……it was the style that Fang Yuke liked.
My heart had 10,000 why’s, and I wished I could immediately rush up and go examine him. My mom was right. Fang Yuke was great everything, but he was just too hot. My potential rivals in love included women from age 99 to those who were had barely learnt how to walk; it was at least 50% of the earth’s population; really too much. Look, the virtuous women are finally coming to join in the fun.
Wang Yimo followed my line of sight and looked at them and spoke, “You know them?”
I shook my head, “I only know half.”
“Understood. Caught two-timing, eh?”
I glared at him, “What eyes did you use to see him two-timing? This is called normal social activities. We have to give him enough space. Freedom, got it?”
“Your expression just now was like the primary wife sizing up the second wife.” Wang Yimo laughed.
“Hey, please speak nicely. Don’t think that just because you’re Julie’s boyfriend I’ll let you off. Just now, I was only curious and observing.” When I finished, my eyes followed Fang Yuke.
The hateful red clothed woman actually extended her claws towards Fang Yuke’s hair. She pushed Fang Yuke’s bangs aside and even softly said something to Fang Yuke. This was obviously two-timing. In any case, Fang Yuke enjoyed it and continued to drink his coffee. Hey, that rascal, when I touched his hair, he even set himself against me. I was done for. I saw that she might as well be the primary wife.
My mood had fallen to an all-time low immediately. I foolishly thought that I had gotten first prize, and picked up a hot guy by the road. Since then, my life revolved around one thing. It was just like marrying and having a child. You didn’t need to worry about anything. The omnipotent Tian Ya was right- if one could rely on guys, female pigs would climb trees.
I looked at Wang Yimo and inquired, “Say, if I was to go over and splash her with coffee, would it seem like it came out of a novel?”
Wang Yimo shook his head and laughed, “Just now, weren’t you very optimistic? How come you changed so quickly?”
I hmphed, “Aren’t I just adapting to the situation right now?”
Wang Yimo continued, “Say don’t you think it’s strange? The two of us are sitting here. You’re secretly looking at your boyfriend and I’m secretly looking at my girlfriend.”
The moment I heard this, I cheered, “That’s right. Other people would even think that we were fighting lovers. We’re all turning our heads to drink water, absent-mindedly.”
Maybe I spoke too loudly as Fang Yuke suddenly turned around, seeing me laugh foolishly by myself. He smiled resentfully.
I curbed my smile and said to Wang Yimo, “I seem to have blown my cover. Do you think he’ll misunderstand that we have no dishonest relations between us? Do I have to say it?”
Wang Yimo laughed, “What does it have to do with me? You have to first ask Julie if she agrees. Does she want to meet me?” When he finished, he pointed in the direction that Julie was sitting.
I sighed, “What play are we acting out? So disorganized.
—
[1] 两肋插刀: lit. knifes piercing both sides (idiom) / fig. to attach a great importance to friendship, up to the point of being able to sacrifice oneself for it
[2] 露出马脚: to reveal the cloven foot (idiom); to unmask one’s true nature / to give the game away
[3] 道高一尺，魔高一丈: virtue is one foot tall, the devil ten foot (idiom); It takes constant vigilance to stave off evil.
