The moment mama-san saw me in the Mei Se she pulled a long face displaying how dissatisfied she was with me. She had been engaged in this profession for too long and saw far too many tragedies. Her heart has already been as hard as a washboard. Upon seeing my illness-stricken face her expression did not turn for better.
As soon as I saw her I started to cry. My tears were falling in cascades, “Mama, I came to work, I decided to not take a leave. But I would like to first take a rest for a while to adjust my mood. I’m afraid that if I saw customers, I won’t be able to smile at them…………..Waa (crying sound), mama, I went to the hospital today. I…I was diagnosed with acute leukemia. I’m going to die waa waa.”
I knew that mama-san was very fond of that fancy Chanel set she wore. Yet, I still went to hug her, not forgetting to grab her sleeve to wipe up my snot and tears on it. I wailed loudly, “Mama, what to do? I have leukemia. The doctor said that I have at most only three months left! Waa, mama, what am I supposed to do? I don’t want to die. The doctor said that I will lose all my hair, that I will bleed from seven apertures[1]. The man that would love me has not appeared yet. With whom will I chat about The Autumn in my Heart[2] mama?”
“Hey, are you crazy? Go away!”
Mama-san was embarrassed. She desperately wanted to shove me away as I clung on to her in a bear-like manner. To be honest, I haven’t eaten for days due to the fever. Before going out, I chewed on a few pieces of nearly expired bread. At the moment it was the energy provided by this bread that made it possible for me to persistently play the tragic female protagonist of a korean drama.
In the end, I ate too little bread as mama-san still managed to get out of my hold. With a face bathed in tears and a voice layered with heavy sobs, I spoke miserably and emotionally, “Mama, I’m going to the hospital tomorrow. The doctor said that I should get hospitalized as soon as possible since it will give me two more months to live. Mama, I don’t want to die……..Can you lend me some money? Help me, mama, please. In the next life, I will show you a proper filial piety! No, no. Not only in the next life. Even in the life that will follow afterward and the life after that, I will serve you as an ox and as a horse[3].”
I mournfully cried, “Mama! Please help me!”
In the dressing room, the misses that were enjoying the show started to gather around us. Some of them showed me a sympathy while others threw me a doubting look. Lilisha watched me with an interest with legs crossed while chewing on the melon seeds.
I made mama-san so mad that the thick powder on that old face of hers started to slide off. She smoothed the sleeve I have ravaged before, shook her red nails and opened her mouth spraying her saliva on me: “You dare to ask me for money? No way! Do you think that Mei Se is a charity? Ask the girls here, which of them does not have a broken family or grievances they have to bear with. Want to play tricks with laoniang[4]? You’re still too tender! Do you think I don’t know? Why don’t you go out and ask around about who I am, Duangfeng?”
I continued to play. I spoke in a tearful voice, lamenting, “Mama, I’m not lying to you. Don’t say such things. I truly have a terminal illness. This time I have really accepted my face. In the past, a fortuneteller told me that in the previous life I was an ink-grinding maidservant of King of Hell. In this lifetime I was destined to be a bearer of an extra ill luck. Not only will I cause the death of my parents, but also the people around me and eventually even myself. I didn’t believe it before. Even as I became an orphan, I still didn’t believe it. But ever since the dog I raised had died, the cat I raised had died, the turtle I kept had died and lastly my uncle, aunty and little cousin, who had raised me, also died, I began to accept my fate. Now….now it’s happening again. I….I have truly accepted my fate waa waa. I’m dying, I’m going to die. I’m the bearer of the ill luck. I even made myself die waa waa.” I covered my face with hands and sat down on the ground, wailing.
I cried until I was deeply touched by myself. Playing a qualified shrew was not an easy feat. Playing a starving shrew who was making a scene was even harder. I have been touched by my professionality. The women around us were engaging themselves in a lively discussion while pointing out their fingers at us. Mama-san was so furious her face looked crooked. Under the sympathy of other women, my mournful lament seemed even more pitiful. I have reached the level where ‘the grass was sorrowful with the sadness of the clouds’.
The businessmen hated people coming to their door talking about bad things. Yet every word I uttered was about life and death. I was practically violating their taboo. Even if mama-san did not believe that I was about to kick the bucket, one would still rather be safe than sorry. I guess that she must be afraid that I was truly a reincarnation of a bearer of the extreme ill luck. In the heart, she was surely scorning me. Sure enough, she waved her hand and yelled at me, “Scram! Scram as far as you can and never come back again!”
I wiped my snot and tears and timidly said, “Mama, don’t chase me away! Let me earn some coffin money before I die! Waa things are so expensive nowadays, I can’t afford to die…”
Mama-san was so infuriated she had to clutch her heart. I felt that she will keel over at any time. Someone by her side started to fan her, advising, “How did such person enter our Mei Se? Mama, don’t be angry. It’s not good for your body. Just chase her out. You’ll feel better afterward.”
“Consider laoniang having a lousy luck.” Mama-san weakly nodded. While I was crying, she waved her hands at everyone and shouted, “Quickly, come and throw her out of Mei Se! So enraging!”
The women in the room did not move. They looked at each other, afraid to get their hands stained by my bad luck.
I pitifully looked up, “Mama, the money….”
As soon as I mentioned money, mama-san’s face immediately turned sinister. “You want money?”
Mama-san probably realized that I was ‘about to die’ as her expression softened in the next moment. She waved her hand at me and told me in a very tired voice, “Take your salary and quickly scram from this place. Don’t let me see you ever again.”
I staggered while standing up, weeping even more loudly. At this time Lilisha gracefully got up and smiled at mama-san saying, “Mama, take a rest. I’ll send this unlucky child off so she won’t bother you anymore.”
Mama-san nodded, glared at me and turned her head to viciously say to everyone, “What? Are you having a fun watching the show here? Get back to work!”
Everybody has scattered away while I, in utter ‘desolation’, walked out of Mei Se. Under the shadow of the flickering lights, one corner of my lip curled into a cunning smile.
Lilisha was standing with me along on the road that was 300-400 meters away from Mei Se, hailing a taxi. The stars on sky smiled and winked at me. Lilisha also sent me a wink. She was so naughty she didn’t resemble a worldly lady of the night.
I and Lilisha hit it off well right from the beginning. We were drawn to each other like magnets. Even though we didn’t share much time together, I still could see a pure corner in her heart, that was reserved solely for her, from those pair of bright eyes and mischievous expression.
Growing out of the mud unsullied, carting to this rotten world yet keeping the most precious things to herself…..that was my evaluation of Lilisha.
In my opinion, a smart young woman exposing her childish side once in a while was more persuasive than any words.
Lilisha saw through me.
After she bent to laugh for a while, she poked at my hot temple and joked, “You have guts, turning fever into leukemia. And what was that ink-grinding maidservant of King of Hell? It’s too stretched ha ha ha. Woman, you’re indeed marvelous. One cannot help but admire you.”
The previous crying almost sucked all of the energy out of me. I leaned on her and threw her a knowing smile, “If I didn’t stretch do you think that old hag would let me go? It wasn’t an easy feat at all. Laoniang hasn’t eaten for a day. I cried until my liver and guts were shaking with pain.”
Lilisha slyly smiled at me, exaggerating, “You already performed this well without eating. If you were to eat you would be offered to play in Qiung Yao drama[5].”
I went through my messy hair feeling dizzy for a while, “Of course. I have talent and look, I am a pearl lost in the vast sea. To tell you truth, granny Qiung Yao was inspired by me when she wrote My Fair Princess.”
Lilisha again burst into the laugh while I followed her suit. Sometime later, Lilisha’s expression turned rather melancholy, “You’re the first one in so many years to get out of that hole so quickly. It’s so difficult to get out. Listen to this big sister’s advice. Don’t ever return back to this place. Don’t be like big sister, unable to wash her body clean of the smell of this place no matter how hard she tries.”
I could hear the sadness in her words. It was faint, yet it went straight into the heart of the listener.
I tightened my hold on her hand and came up with a decision.
I smiled and rose to stand properly, extending my hand toward Lilisha, “Come on, beautiful lady. Let’s re-introduce each other.”
Lilisha stared at me in a daze with her bright and beautiful eyes.
“Fang Liangliang.”
“Ni Sha.”
I embraced Lilisha and said in her ear sincerely, “Let’s be friends.”
“Already planned to.” She happily replied, “Your big sis is quite lonely.”
Before I went home, I used last bit of my strength to buy some antipyretic medicine in the drugstore. In the street shop, I bought a white porridge and also some biscuits as I was afraid I would starve myself to death. While passing by the mirror that was displayed outside the optical shop, I stopped for a while. I saw the mirror reflecting my dull eyes and pale and haggard complexion. The crying before made my eyes red and swollen.
This content belongs to thehlifestyle.com, if you see this translation elsewhere, it’s been stolen! If possible, please support the original translators by reading the translations from the original source. Thanks
A smiling couple holding hands walked past me. I shot them a glance and then turned to touch my face. Weiyi was probably cuddled in Fu Chen’s arms and acting like a spoiled child right now. I silently looked at the pitiful creature in the mirror once more before leaving. Just burn, just burn. It would be for the best if this pitiful creature burned to death.
I was panting when I arrived home. I rested on the couch for a while. Afterward, I stood up to have some porridge, only to take half of it. I didn’t force myself the remaining half since I didn’t have any appetite. Instead, I took two tablets to reduce my fever and sent a text message to Dongzi, telling him that I had already withdrawn from the operation so he should act smarter and endure few more days. After that, we senior sister-junior brother can finally say bye-bye to that hole.
Subsequently, I selected Kang Zixian’s number and deleted it, inwardly fiercely ridiculing him. I turned off my phone, pulled out the SIM card and candidly tossed it somewhere behind me not caring where did it land. I immediately felt delighted. I staggered while standing up to go to my bed and lay down, going into a deep sleep.
I was probably exposed too long to a cold breeze when I went out as my fever turned for worse. I felt sore and weak all over with my head spinning dizzily. Even though my skin was scalding hot, yet inside I felt cold to the bones. It was very agonizing.
Every minute felt unbearable.
Fortunately, I managed to fall asleep. When I finally opened my eyes, my soul was still intact but my body was not listening to me at all. It was so heavy that every movement felt exhausting.
I climbed out of bed. I haven’t eaten for almost a day and a night, hence I had no strength at all. I had to hold the wall to walk into the bathroom.
I hastily brushed the teeth and washed my face but my spirit was still low. On my way back I once again needed to support myself with the wall. I intended to eat some biscuits to replenish my energy. The wrapping paper I could usually open effortlessly now seemed to be an abnormally difficult task. The more I struggled with it the more irritated I got. In the end, I grew so impatient that I threw the biscuits onto the wall with one swoop.
I sat on the couch, sulking while rampaging through my hair. I glanced at the only eatable food in this room. I scratched my nose to indicate I have surrendered. I stood up and rummaged through the drawers searching for the scissors. At last, I found them under the piles of newspapers.
This action almost cost my life. My damned energy was all gone.
I downed cold water with some soda biscuits and took some antipyretics. As I have a hard time sitting there and doing nothing, I went back to sleep.
Perhaps I had already had a lot of sleep, I tossed and turned around unable to fall asleep. Hence, I went to survey the cold and lonely surrounding. There was a wall here, there was a wall there, on the left was a wall, on the right was a wall. There were only cockroaches inside the wall, no relatives were walking around. Nobody tenderly touched my forehead and gave me a calming smile to let me know that I was not alone.
Indeed, I was alone right now. The good man Fu Chen was driven away by me. I blamed him for not understanding my work. I resented his nagging, resented him for not giving me freedom, thus I had said light-heartedly “Since you don’t understand me, let’s part our ways. The sooner the better.”
I recalled the events from half a year ago. At that time, the two of us were arguing practically on a daily basis. The reason behind was that he got irrationally jealous and had almost endangered my job. I was in cold war with him, he was also in cold war with me and eventually, we reached to an irreparable point.
If someone put a regret medicine in front of me right now, I would certainly swallow it without any hesitation so that I could return to the good old times.
When the loneliness drilled into my heart, I have finally realized how stubborn, childish and double-faced I was and how much I have longed for the past. But I could not go back as he gave his shoulder to someone else.
I felt like crying but my tears were not coming out as crying required energy and I had to spare it for later use.
I have unconsciously dozed off and fallen into another slumber. I did not know how long I have slept but I was awakened by a burst of a noisy doorbell. It was very tenacious, making me distraught.
My mind was still chaotic. I covered a blanket over my head and mumbled to myself, “Damn it! Who is ringing the doorbell?! So noisy.”
The doorbell paused for a moment and then started another round of ringing. I was finally sober. This was my doorbell, right? Who was the person that wanted to send me a charcoal in a snowy weather?[6] Did my mom fly back to give me a surprise? Or did Feige return back to the country after her match finished?
I rolled and crawled out of bed feeling a little excited. Except for few faces, most people’s appearance could make me feel grateful for a lifetime.
After I happily opened the door and looked up, I felt like a cold bucket of water was splashed over me. I cursed inwardly. The person currently before me held the first place in my blacklist of people I refused to have any connection with. I hated him so much that my teeth itched.
The one standing outside was clearly Kang Zixian.
[1] Seven apertures of the human head means two eyes, two ears, two nostrils, and one mouth
#this content belongs to thehlifestyle.com, if you see this translation elsewhere, it’s been stolen!!!!! May ill omen (like stepping every day on dog poo, losing a wallet every time one goes out, choking by mere water and forever staying as a lonely dog) befall those content stealing jerks. Amen and Peace!
#if possible, please support the original translators by reading the translations from the original source. Thanks
[2] The Autumn in my Heart is a Korean drama
[3] Serve someone as an ox and as a horse means working very hard for somebody
[4] Laoniang I, your mom (referring to oneself as superior)
[5] Chiung Yao is a Taiwanese writer and producer and often regarded as the most popular romance novelist in the Chinese-speaking world
[6] Send a charcoal in a snowy weather is an idiom meaning to provide help in sb’s hour of need
The moment mama-san saw me in the Mei Se she pulled a long face displaying how dissatisfied she was with me. She had been engaged in this profession for too long and saw far too many tragedies. Her heart has already been as hard as a washboard. Upon seeing my illness-stricken face her expression did not turn for better.
As soon as I saw her I started to cry. My tears were falling in cascades, “Mama, I came to work, I decided to not take a leave. But I would like to first take a rest for a while to adjust my mood. I’m afraid that if I saw customers, I won’t be able to smile at them…………..Waa (crying sound), mama, I went to the hospital today. I…I was diagnosed with acute leukemia. I’m going to die waa waa.”
I knew that mama-san was very fond of that fancy Chanel set she wore. Yet, I still went to hug her, not forgetting to grab her sleeve to wipe up my snot and tears on it. I wailed loudly, “Mama, what to do? I have leukemia. The doctor said that I have at most only three months left! Waa, mama, what am I supposed to do? I don’t want to die. The doctor said that I will lose all my hair, that I will bleed from seven apertures[1]. The man that would love me has not appeared yet. With whom will I chat about The Autumn in my Heart[2] mama?”
“Hey, are you crazy? Go away!”
Mama-san was embarrassed. She desperately wanted to shove me away as I clung on to her in a bear-like manner. To be honest, I haven’t eaten for days due to the fever. Before going out, I chewed on a few pieces of nearly expired bread. At the moment it was the energy provided by this bread that made it possible for me to persistently play the tragic female protagonist of a korean drama.
In the end, I ate too little bread as mama-san still managed to get out of my hold. With a face bathed in tears and a voice layered with heavy sobs, I spoke miserably and emotionally, “Mama, I’m going to the hospital tomorrow. The doctor said that I should get hospitalized as soon as possible since it will give me two more months to live. Mama, I don’t want to die……..Can you lend me some money? Help me, mama, please. In the next life, I will show you a proper filial piety! No, no. Not only in the next life. Even in the life that will follow afterward and the life after that, I will serve you as an ox and as a horse[3].”
I mournfully cried, “Mama! Please help me!”
In the dressing room, the misses that were enjoying the show started to gather around us. Some of them showed me a sympathy while others threw me a doubting look. Lilisha watched me with an interest with legs crossed while chewing on the melon seeds.
I made mama-san so mad that the thick powder on that old face of hers started to slide off. She smoothed the sleeve I have ravaged before, shook her red nails and opened her mouth spraying her saliva on me: “You dare to ask me for money? No way! Do you think that Mei Se is a charity? Ask the girls here, which of them does not have a broken family or grievances they have to bear with. Want to play tricks with laoniang[4]? You’re still too tender! Do you think I don’t know? Why don’t you go out and ask around about who I am, Duangfeng?”
I continued to play. I spoke in a tearful voice, lamenting, “Mama, I’m not lying to you. Don’t say such things. I truly have a terminal illness. This time I have really accepted my face. In the past, a fortuneteller told me that in the previous life I was an ink-grinding maidservant of King of Hell. In this lifetime I was destined to be a bearer of an extra ill luck. Not only will I cause the death of my parents, but also the people around me and eventually even myself. I didn’t believe it before. Even as I became an orphan, I still didn’t believe it. But ever since the dog I raised had died, the cat I raised had died, the turtle I kept had died and lastly my uncle, aunty and little cousin, who had raised me, also died, I began to accept my fate. Now….now it’s happening again. I….I have truly accepted my fate waa waa. I’m dying, I’m going to die. I’m the bearer of the ill luck. I even made myself die waa waa.” I covered my face with hands and sat down on the ground, wailing.
I cried until I was deeply touched by myself. Playing a qualified shrew was not an easy feat. Playing a starving shrew who was making a scene was even harder. I have been touched by my professionality. The women around us were engaging themselves in a lively discussion while pointing out their fingers at us. Mama-san was so furious her face looked crooked. Under the sympathy of other women, my mournful lament seemed even more pitiful. I have reached the level where ‘the grass was sorrowful with the sadness of the clouds’.
The businessmen hated people coming to their door talking about bad things. Yet every word I uttered was about life and death. I was practically violating their taboo. Even if mama-san did not believe that I was about to kick the bucket, one would still rather be safe than sorry. I guess that she must be afraid that I was truly a reincarnation of a bearer of the extreme ill luck. In the heart, she was surely scorning me. Sure enough, she waved her hand and yelled at me, “Scram! Scram as far as you can and never come back again!”
I wiped my snot and tears and timidly said, “Mama, don’t chase me away! Let me earn some coffin money before I die! Waa things are so expensive nowadays, I can’t afford to die…”
Mama-san was so infuriated she had to clutch her heart. I felt that she will keel over at any time. Someone by her side started to fan her, advising, “How did such person enter our Mei Se? Mama, don’t be angry. It’s not good for your body. Just chase her out. You’ll feel better afterward.”
“Consider laoniang having a lousy luck.” Mama-san weakly nodded. While I was crying, she waved her hands at everyone and shouted, “Quickly, come and throw her out of Mei Se! So enraging!”
The women in the room did not move. They looked at each other, afraid to get their hands stained by my bad luck.
I pitifully looked up, “Mama, the money….”
As soon as I mentioned money, mama-san’s face immediately turned sinister. “You want money?”
Mama-san probably realized that I was ‘about to die’ as her expression softened in the next moment. She waved her hand at me and told me in a very tired voice, “Take your salary and quickly scram from this place. Don’t let me see you ever again.”
I staggered while standing up, weeping even more loudly. At this time Lilisha gracefully got up and smiled at mama-san saying, “Mama, take a rest. I’ll send this unlucky child off so she won’t bother you anymore.”
Mama-san nodded, glared at me and turned her head to viciously say to everyone, “What? Are you having a fun watching the show here? Get back to work!”
Everybody has scattered away while I, in utter ‘desolation’, walked out of Mei Se. Under the shadow of the flickering lights, one corner of my lip curled into a cunning smile.
Lilisha was standing with me along on the road that was 300-400 meters away from Mei Se, hailing a taxi. The stars on sky smiled and winked at me. Lilisha also sent me a wink. She was so naughty she didn’t resemble a worldly lady of the night.
I and Lilisha hit it off well right from the beginning. We were drawn to each other like magnets. Even though we didn’t share much time together, I still could see a pure corner in her heart, that was reserved solely for her, from those pair of bright eyes and mischievous expression.
Growing out of the mud unsullied, carting to this rotten world yet keeping the most precious things to herself…..that was my evaluation of Lilisha.
In my opinion, a smart young woman exposing her childish side once in a while was more persuasive than any words.
Lilisha saw through me.
After she bent to laugh for a while, she poked at my hot temple and joked, “You have guts, turning fever into leukemia. And what was that ink-grinding maidservant of King of Hell? It’s too stretched ha ha ha. Woman, you’re indeed marvelous. One cannot help but admire you.”
The previous crying almost sucked all of the energy out of me. I leaned on her and threw her a knowing smile, “If I didn’t stretch do you think that old hag would let me go? It wasn’t an easy feat at all. Laoniang hasn’t eaten for a day. I cried until my liver and guts were shaking with pain.”
Lilisha slyly smiled at me, exaggerating, “You already performed this well without eating. If you were to eat you would be offered to play in Qiung Yao drama[5].”
I went through my messy hair feeling dizzy for a while, “Of course. I have talent and look, I am a pearl lost in the vast sea. To tell you truth, granny Qiung Yao was inspired by me when she wrote My Fair Princess.”
Lilisha again burst into the laugh while I followed her suit. Sometime later, Lilisha’s expression turned rather melancholy, “You’re the first one in so many years to get out of that hole so quickly. It’s so difficult to get out. Listen to this big sister’s advice. Don’t ever return back to this place. Don’t be like big sister, unable to wash her body clean of the smell of this place no matter how hard she tries.”
I could hear the sadness in her words. It was faint, yet it went straight into the heart of the listener.
I tightened my hold on her hand and came up with a decision.
I smiled and rose to stand properly, extending my hand toward Lilisha, “Come on, beautiful lady. Let’s re-introduce each other.”
Lilisha stared at me in a daze with her bright and beautiful eyes.
“Fang Liangliang.”
“Ni Sha.”
I embraced Lilisha and said in her ear sincerely, “Let’s be friends.”
“Already planned to.” She happily replied, “Your big sis is quite lonely.”
Before I went home, I used last bit of my strength to buy some antipyretic medicine in the drugstore. In the street shop, I bought a white porridge and also some biscuits as I was afraid I would starve myself to death. While passing by the mirror that was displayed outside the optical shop, I stopped for a while. I saw the mirror reflecting my dull eyes and pale and haggard complexion. The crying before made my eyes red and swollen.
This content belongs to thehlifestyle.com, if you see this translation elsewhere, it’s been stolen! If possible, please support the original translators by reading the translations from the original source. Thanks
A smiling couple holding hands walked past me. I shot them a glance and then turned to touch my face. Weiyi was probably cuddled in Fu Chen’s arms and acting like a spoiled child right now. I silently looked at the pitiful creature in the mirror once more before leaving. Just burn, just burn. It would be for the best if this pitiful creature burned to death.
I was panting when I arrived home. I rested on the couch for a while. Afterward, I stood up to have some porridge, only to take half of it. I didn’t force myself the remaining half since I didn’t have any appetite. Instead, I took two tablets to reduce my fever and sent a text message to Dongzi, telling him that I had already withdrawn from the operation so he should act smarter and endure few more days. After that, we senior sister-junior brother can finally say bye-bye to that hole.
Subsequently, I selected Kang Zixian’s number and deleted it, inwardly fiercely ridiculing him. I turned off my phone, pulled out the SIM card and candidly tossed it somewhere behind me not caring where did it land. I immediately felt delighted. I staggered while standing up to go to my bed and lay down, going into a deep sleep.
I was probably exposed too long to a cold breeze when I went out as my fever turned for worse. I felt sore and weak all over with my head spinning dizzily. Even though my skin was scalding hot, yet inside I felt cold to the bones. It was very agonizing.
Every minute felt unbearable.
Fortunately, I managed to fall asleep. When I finally opened my eyes, my soul was still intact but my body was not listening to me at all. It was so heavy that every movement felt exhausting.
I climbed out of bed. I haven’t eaten for almost a day and a night, hence I had no strength at all. I had to hold the wall to walk into the bathroom.
I hastily brushed the teeth and washed my face but my spirit was still low. On my way back I once again needed to support myself with the wall. I intended to eat some biscuits to replenish my energy. The wrapping paper I could usually open effortlessly now seemed to be an abnormally difficult task. The more I struggled with it the more irritated I got. In the end, I grew so impatient that I threw the biscuits onto the wall with one swoop.
I sat on the couch, sulking while rampaging through my hair. I glanced at the only eatable food in this room. I scratched my nose to indicate I have surrendered. I stood up and rummaged through the drawers searching for the scissors. At last, I found them under the piles of newspapers.
This action almost cost my life. My damned energy was all gone.
I downed cold water with some soda biscuits and took some antipyretics. As I have a hard time sitting there and doing nothing, I went back to sleep.
Perhaps I had already had a lot of sleep, I tossed and turned around unable to fall asleep. Hence, I went to survey the cold and lonely surrounding. There was a wall here, there was a wall there, on the left was a wall, on the right was a wall. There were only cockroaches inside the wall, no relatives were walking around. Nobody tenderly touched my forehead and gave me a calming smile to let me know that I was not alone.
Indeed, I was alone right now. The good man Fu Chen was driven away by me. I blamed him for not understanding my work. I resented his nagging, resented him for not giving me freedom, thus I had said light-heartedly “Since you don’t understand me, let’s part our ways. The sooner the better.”
I recalled the events from half a year ago. At that time, the two of us were arguing practically on a daily basis. The reason behind was that he got irrationally jealous and had almost endangered my job. I was in cold war with him, he was also in cold war with me and eventually, we reached to an irreparable point.
If someone put a regret medicine in front of me right now, I would certainly swallow it without any hesitation so that I could return to the good old times.
When the loneliness drilled into my heart, I have finally realized how stubborn, childish and double-faced I was and how much I have longed for the past. But I could not go back as he gave his shoulder to someone else.
I felt like crying but my tears were not coming out as crying required energy and I had to spare it for later use.
I have unconsciously dozed off and fallen into another slumber. I did not know how long I have slept but I was awakened by a burst of a noisy doorbell. It was very tenacious, making me distraught.
My mind was still chaotic. I covered a blanket over my head and mumbled to myself, “Damn it! Who is ringing the doorbell?! So noisy.”
The doorbell paused for a moment and then started another round of ringing. I was finally sober. This was my doorbell, right? Who was the person that wanted to send me a charcoal in a snowy weather?[6] Did my mom fly back to give me a surprise? Or did Feige return back to the country after her match finished?
I rolled and crawled out of bed feeling a little excited. Except for few faces, most people’s appearance could make me feel grateful for a lifetime.
After I happily opened the door and looked up, I felt like a cold bucket of water was splashed over me. I cursed inwardly. The person currently before me held the first place in my blacklist of people I refused to have any connection with. I hated him so much that my teeth itched.
The one standing outside was clearly Kang Zixian.
[1] Seven apertures of the human head means two eyes, two ears, two nostrils, and one mouth
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[2] The Autumn in my Heart is a Korean drama
[3] Serve someone as an ox and as a horse means working very hard for somebody
[4] Laoniang I, your mom (referring to oneself as superior)
[5] Chiung Yao is a Taiwanese writer and producer and often regarded as the most popular romance novelist in the Chinese-speaking world
[6] Send a charcoal in a snowy weather is an idiom meaning to provide help in sb’s hour of need
