I hit him right on the mark, and only then did he lift his head in the direction of my voice. His face immediately dropped.
“Yan Xiao, I want you to come down right now.”
In high spirits, I spat, “Pei! Yin Li you bastard, cheater, son of a bitch! You even dare to call the police to catch me! You think I’m scared of you?!”
He lifted his head up and his voice regained its past gentleness. “Then you come down first. Talking from up there isn’t convenient, it’s too dangerous.”
I’d just started going at him. If I stopped here, wouldn’t I lose face? So I continued to loudly exclaim, “I happen to enjoy looking down on people like this, don’t think you can stop me! The air up here is so much more fresh and clean! I only took a few things from your house. That’s already me being polite and let you off lightly. Go ask your own conscience, how have you’ve treated me? You stinking swindler! Despicable, shameless asshole, this marriage was all a scam! A plot! And you still have the balls to turn around and accuse me of stealing?”
“I didn’t report you to the police for theft. I asked a friend in the police department for help, I merely said that I made my wife so angry that she ran away.” Yin Li tilted his head, his face looking almost like it was turning a little red from embarrassment. Then he lifted his head back up and once again stared at me with a burning gaze. “In any cause, from this day forth, all of my possessions belong to you too. The situation isn’t as bad as you think, I’ll tell you everything when you come down, okay?”
Yin Li rarely spoke in such a humble manner, but I didn’t buy it.
I dusted the dirt off my hands and sat my bottom down on the thick tree limb. In a unpleasant voice I said, “Liar! You obviously were thirsting after my beauty and purposefully rammed into me until I became foolish! Are you still thinking of me as an idiot? I absolutely am not a French major, I’m a ballet dancer! Yet you still wanted to run me over! You wanted to murder me! I even used to believe that I was like the frog to your swan, it really troubled my conscience for a while! But turns out that you’re the frog!”
1 Yan Xiao is referring to the phrase “癞蛤蟆想吃天鹅肉” aka “frog wants to eat swan meat”. It’s used to describe when someone (the frog) is aspiring to something impossible/unachievable (swan) For example when someone who’s unattractive (YX rip) wants to date someone beautiful (YL).
Yin Li’s eyebrows scrunched up even more into a deep furrow. “Yan Xiao, I don’t have any murderous intentions towards you. I’ve never had any. You car accident also wasn’t premeditated by me.” He vehemently explained, “Before you lost your memories, we weren’t even acquainted.” Then his voice changed back into a tender tone. “Come down first, it’s too dangerous to stay up in the tree. I won’t do anything to you.”
His response shocked me into silence, and a million conjectures once again flashed through my mind. I never would’ve thought that Yin Li had never even had a place at all in my past life. And it was at this moment that I felt both sorrow and ridicule. Just a second ago I’d been dancing around in the tree, leaping up and down like a monkey. But it was all just a bluff. Faced with the truth, I still paled with helplessness.
My chest hurt slightly, but I calmed down and dipped my head down towards Yin Li standing under the tree to ask, “Then in the past did you ever hear about me? Tell me, when you look at the past me, then look at my current mannerless and vulgar self, don’t you feel upset to death?” Without waiting for his response, I continued to say to him, “You owe me the truth. I want you to tell me everything, starting from the very beginning. This can also help me return once again to my previous life.”
Yin Li responded in a low voice, “This, I can do. Yan Xiao, I’ll agree to anything you want, I only want you to come down so we can have a proper discussion.”
I thought about it for a bit, truthfully squatting in a tree like this wasn’t that great, so I began to climb down. However, getting up a tree is easy but getting down is hard. My hand grasped the tree trunk tightly, but I accidentally missed and stepped onto empty air. In the end, Yin Li carried me down from the tree. Unfortunately the skin on my ankle had been rubbed raw against the tree bark and now it was a bit red and scratched up.
I grimaced and hissed in pain, but Yin Li looked even more pained than I, as if he himself had been injured. He bent down in front of me and felt my ankle, then wrapped his hands completely around it. The heat of his palms felt almost hot enough to burn. Then he softly let out a sigh.
I stared down at him, and at that moment I had a clear view of each and every expression on his face. The painful ones, sweet ones, patient and enduring ones, and complex yet lively expressions.
I suddenly understood.
I roughly forced my ankle out of Yin Li’s hands, and then dipped my head down and made an announcement to him in a voice full of maliciousness.
“Yin Li, it’s over for you.” My tone was both confident and vengeful. Filled with pleasure, I whispered to him, “It’s over for you, Yin Li. You’re a liar. But you fell in love me.”
Yin Li had always been a reserved person. Like a quiet trapper, he silently waited for his prey to get caught in the net. He rarely revealed a clear picture of his emotions because he knew that would be a fatal error. His feelings were his weak point. At this moment, a black cat seemed to reside in my heart and like a curse it swiped its sharp claws. Reaching through the fear and resentment that had arose in me as the truth gradually revealed itself, it finally cut away that foolish appearance I’d always worn, tearing everything down with a fierce assault.
I liked him, and thus I wanted to hurt him.
At this time, Yin Li had already stood back up, his eyes still trained on me. I crossed my hands in front of my chest and slightly tilted my head, giving myself an indifferent and arrogant appearance. I gave him a disdainful look out of the corner of my eye. It was as if I was little hoodlum whose fortunes had suddenly reversed.
Like someone easily lifting a heavy weight, I told Yin Li, “I will regain my memories, and then completely forget everything about you. I will return and once again stand on the stage, and live the life I should be living. Let the people who owe me an apology pay me the price they ought to pay. Then I will enjoy the scent of my flowers and the worship of thousands. And you, you are merely a trivial passerby in my life, a pitiful swindler.
I still wanted to maliciously continue on, but with one motion Yin Li pushed me up against the tree. His hands tightly grasped my shoulders and his eyes burned with fierce determination. Just like that, he stared at me with a deep look in his eyes, and then he tilted his head down to fiercely kiss me.
Yes, I had guessed correctly. Our love had always been stained with impurities and distrust. I’d always felt that I was unable to truly feel out Yin Li’s heart, but so what? He was a swindler, but he loved me.
That unyielding and tyrannical kiss finally ended, and Yin Li finally slightly relaxed his tight restraint on me.
“Yan Xiao, given that I’ve violently destroyed your life and intervened in its path, I’ve never had the intention of so easily bowing out of it.” Staring into my eyes, he continued to spit out one word at a time, “If it had been the past me, even now I would still cover for Yin Xuan. I would have rather admitted that it was I that crashed my car into you and came up with this whole scheme, in order to protect her.”
I silently looked at him.
“But now that is no longer possible. Yan Xiao, in front of you I cannot monopolize responsibility for everything we are guilty of, because then there would be no possibility for us. You would never forgive me.” He moved his head down and kissed me again on my cheek, then appeasingly helped me fix my messy hair. “You and Yin Xuan are in the same dance troupe, and not long ago you were nominated to be principal dancer. Simultaneously, you refused Li Jing’s marriage proposal. She wanted to find you to talk over things, but you were never friendly with her. That day, Yin Xuan got drunk. By the time I arrived, you were already lying in a pool of blood. Yin Xuan sat by the side, so terrified that she could only cry. At that time, I didn’t recognize you, I was just visiting Yin Xuan in France. I’d only ran into you once, three days before the accident occured, and didn’t know that you were the ‘Alicia’ from Yin Xuan’s words. The only impression I had of you was all from what I heard about you from Yin Xuan. In her eyes, you were cold, indifferent, and graceful, a perfect and fearsome rival.”
The answer was already self-evident. Yin Li’s actions were for the sake of protecting Yin Xuan, or to be more accurate, for the sake for protecting Yin Xuan’s reputation, protecting her career as an artist, he chose to sacrifice my life as an artist. However, at this time I hadn’t yet truly felt the bitter resentment of losing ballet, I’d completely forgotten it.
It was hard for me to describe the feelings I had. There was some disappointment, some painfulness. So I lifted my head and only asked Yin Li a completely unrelated question.
“Can I still dance with this leg? Can I still dance as beautifully as before?”
Yin Li’s only response was to hug me tightly in his arms. And this time, my head leaning against his shoulder, I finally began to cry.
This was a bizarre experience. Showing respect and appreciation for my biggest dream, and at the same time, destroying my biggest dream, it was all done by the person in front of me. He was an accomplice in this conspiracy, yet even now I trusted him. I wanted to hurt him as retaliation and felt a faint trace of hatred for him, yet subconsciously he still made me feel safe.
Yin Li gently and slowly rubbed my head and then let go of me. He forced me to look at him, but my eyes were still full of tears and I could only stare at him with a misty gaze.
“For my whole life, I’ve never believed in ‘retribution’ this kind of phrase.” Yin Li spoke with some difficulty. “But you are like a sword of judgement hanging above my head. You could punish me with every kind of method that exists.”
At this moment, I grabbed ahold of Yin Li’s hand, and chomped down ruthlessly on it with all my strength like my life depended on it, until it dripped with blood.
I hit him right on the mark, and only then did he lift his head in the direction of my voice. His face immediately dropped.
“Yan Xiao, I want you to come down right now.”
In high spirits, I spat, “Pei! Yin Li you bastard, cheater, son of a bitch! You even dare to call the police to catch me! You think I’m scared of you?!”
He lifted his head up and his voice regained its past gentleness. “Then you come down first. Talking from up there isn’t convenient, it’s too dangerous.”
I’d just started going at him. If I stopped here, wouldn’t I lose face? So I continued to loudly exclaim, “I happen to enjoy looking down on people like this, don’t think you can stop me! The air up here is so much more fresh and clean! I only took a few things from your house. That’s already me being polite and let you off lightly. Go ask your own conscience, how have you’ve treated me? You stinking swindler! Despicable, shameless asshole, this marriage was all a scam! A plot! And you still have the balls to turn around and accuse me of stealing?”
“I didn’t report you to the police for theft. I asked a friend in the police department for help, I merely said that I made my wife so angry that she ran away.” Yin Li tilted his head, his face looking almost like it was turning a little red from embarrassment. Then he lifted his head back up and once again stared at me with a burning gaze. “In any cause, from this day forth, all of my possessions belong to you too. The situation isn’t as bad as you think, I’ll tell you everything when you come down, okay?”
Yin Li rarely spoke in such a humble manner, but I didn’t buy it.
I dusted the dirt off my hands and sat my bottom down on the thick tree limb. In a unpleasant voice I said, “Liar! You obviously were thirsting after my beauty and purposefully rammed into me until I became foolish! Are you still thinking of me as an idiot? I absolutely am not a French major, I’m a ballet dancer! Yet you still wanted to run me over! You wanted to murder me! I even used to believe that I was like the frog to your swan, it really troubled my conscience for a while! But turns out that you’re the frog!”
1 Yan Xiao is referring to the phrase “癞蛤蟆想吃天鹅肉” aka “frog wants to eat swan meat”. It’s used to describe when someone (the frog) is aspiring to something impossible/unachievable (swan) For example when someone who’s unattractive (YX rip) wants to date someone beautiful (YL).
Yin Li’s eyebrows scrunched up even more into a deep furrow. “Yan Xiao, I don’t have any murderous intentions towards you. I’ve never had any. You car accident also wasn’t premeditated by me.” He vehemently explained, “Before you lost your memories, we weren’t even acquainted.” Then his voice changed back into a tender tone. “Come down first, it’s too dangerous to stay up in the tree. I won’t do anything to you.”
His response shocked me into silence, and a million conjectures once again flashed through my mind. I never would’ve thought that Yin Li had never even had a place at all in my past life. And it was at this moment that I felt both sorrow and ridicule. Just a second ago I’d been dancing around in the tree, leaping up and down like a monkey. But it was all just a bluff. Faced with the truth, I still paled with helplessness.
My chest hurt slightly, but I calmed down and dipped my head down towards Yin Li standing under the tree to ask, “Then in the past did you ever hear about me? Tell me, when you look at the past me, then look at my current mannerless and vulgar self, don’t you feel upset to death?” Without waiting for his response, I continued to say to him, “You owe me the truth. I want you to tell me everything, starting from the very beginning. This can also help me return once again to my previous life.”
Yin Li responded in a low voice, “This, I can do. Yan Xiao, I’ll agree to anything you want, I only want you to come down so we can have a proper discussion.”
I thought about it for a bit, truthfully squatting in a tree like this wasn’t that great, so I began to climb down. However, getting up a tree is easy but getting down is hard. My hand grasped the tree trunk tightly, but I accidentally missed and stepped onto empty air. In the end, Yin Li carried me down from the tree. Unfortunately the skin on my ankle had been rubbed raw against the tree bark and now it was a bit red and scratched up.
I grimaced and hissed in pain, but Yin Li looked even more pained than I, as if he himself had been injured. He bent down in front of me and felt my ankle, then wrapped his hands completely around it. The heat of his palms felt almost hot enough to burn. Then he softly let out a sigh.
I stared down at him, and at that moment I had a clear view of each and every expression on his face. The painful ones, sweet ones, patient and enduring ones, and complex yet lively expressions.
I suddenly understood.
I roughly forced my ankle out of Yin Li’s hands, and then dipped my head down and made an announcement to him in a voice full of maliciousness.
“Yin Li, it’s over for you.” My tone was both confident and vengeful. Filled with pleasure, I whispered to him, “It’s over for you, Yin Li. You’re a liar. But you fell in love me.”
Yin Li had always been a reserved person. Like a quiet trapper, he silently waited for his prey to get caught in the net. He rarely revealed a clear picture of his emotions because he knew that would be a fatal error. His feelings were his weak point. At this moment, a black cat seemed to reside in my heart and like a curse it swiped its sharp claws. Reaching through the fear and resentment that had arose in me as the truth gradually revealed itself, it finally cut away that foolish appearance I’d always worn, tearing everything down with a fierce assault.
I liked him, and thus I wanted to hurt him.
At this time, Yin Li had already stood back up, his eyes still trained on me. I crossed my hands in front of my chest and slightly tilted my head, giving myself an indifferent and arrogant appearance. I gave him a disdainful look out of the corner of my eye. It was as if I was little hoodlum whose fortunes had suddenly reversed.
Like someone easily lifting a heavy weight, I told Yin Li, “I will regain my memories, and then completely forget everything about you. I will return and once again stand on the stage, and live the life I should be living. Let the people who owe me an apology pay me the price they ought to pay. Then I will enjoy the scent of my flowers and the worship of thousands. And you, you are merely a trivial passerby in my life, a pitiful swindler.
I still wanted to maliciously continue on, but with one motion Yin Li pushed me up against the tree. His hands tightly grasped my shoulders and his eyes burned with fierce determination. Just like that, he stared at me with a deep look in his eyes, and then he tilted his head down to fiercely kiss me.
Yes, I had guessed correctly. Our love had always been stained with impurities and distrust. I’d always felt that I was unable to truly feel out Yin Li’s heart, but so what? He was a swindler, but he loved me.
That unyielding and tyrannical kiss finally ended, and Yin Li finally slightly relaxed his tight restraint on me.
“Yan Xiao, given that I’ve violently destroyed your life and intervened in its path, I’ve never had the intention of so easily bowing out of it.” Staring into my eyes, he continued to spit out one word at a time, “If it had been the past me, even now I would still cover for Yin Xuan. I would have rather admitted that it was I that crashed my car into you and came up with this whole scheme, in order to protect her.”
I silently looked at him.
“But now that is no longer possible. Yan Xiao, in front of you I cannot monopolize responsibility for everything we are guilty of, because then there would be no possibility for us. You would never forgive me.” He moved his head down and kissed me again on my cheek, then appeasingly helped me fix my messy hair. “You and Yin Xuan are in the same dance troupe, and not long ago you were nominated to be principal dancer. Simultaneously, you refused Li Jing’s marriage proposal. She wanted to find you to talk over things, but you were never friendly with her. That day, Yin Xuan got drunk. By the time I arrived, you were already lying in a pool of blood. Yin Xuan sat by the side, so terrified that she could only cry. At that time, I didn’t recognize you, I was just visiting Yin Xuan in France. I’d only ran into you once, three days before the accident occured, and didn’t know that you were the ‘Alicia’ from Yin Xuan’s words. The only impression I had of you was all from what I heard about you from Yin Xuan. In her eyes, you were cold, indifferent, and graceful, a perfect and fearsome rival.”
The answer was already self-evident. Yin Li’s actions were for the sake of protecting Yin Xuan, or to be more accurate, for the sake for protecting Yin Xuan’s reputation, protecting her career as an artist, he chose to sacrifice my life as an artist. However, at this time I hadn’t yet truly felt the bitter resentment of losing ballet, I’d completely forgotten it.
It was hard for me to describe the feelings I had. There was some disappointment, some painfulness. So I lifted my head and only asked Yin Li a completely unrelated question.
“Can I still dance with this leg? Can I still dance as beautifully as before?”
Yin Li’s only response was to hug me tightly in his arms. And this time, my head leaning against his shoulder, I finally began to cry.
This was a bizarre experience. Showing respect and appreciation for my biggest dream, and at the same time, destroying my biggest dream, it was all done by the person in front of me. He was an accomplice in this conspiracy, yet even now I trusted him. I wanted to hurt him as retaliation and felt a faint trace of hatred for him, yet subconsciously he still made me feel safe.
Yin Li gently and slowly rubbed my head and then let go of me. He forced me to look at him, but my eyes were still full of tears and I could only stare at him with a misty gaze.
“For my whole life, I’ve never believed in ‘retribution’ this kind of phrase.” Yin Li spoke with some difficulty. “But you are like a sword of judgement hanging above my head. You could punish me with every kind of method that exists.”
At this moment, I grabbed ahold of Yin Li’s hand, and chomped down ruthlessly on it with all my strength like my life depended on it, until it dripped with blood.
