Under the admiring gazes of the other corps de ballet members, Yin Xuan “bestowed” upon me a supporting character role, and I “shot up through the ranks” just like that. The director brought me a copy of the script. He still had his doubts about me. After all, compared to the winner of an international competition, there wasn’t anything even slightly newsworthy about me that they could use to hype up the movie.
“Ask me if you don’t understand anything.”
Right after he said that, I started reading the script. In fact, my screen time was relatively short and I was only needed to dance one scene.
“Only I Dance” told the story of a single ballet dancer. The dancer grew up in poverty and with hardship. She began her journey on an uneven dirt road, sandy and filled with potholes. Yet she persisted, step by step, until she ended up on the big stage. It was a feel-good story about someone’s path to success.
My role would be the female lead’s younger sister, who was disabled and confined to a wheelchair. Every day, the female lead would care for her sister and push the wheelchair tiringly in hopes of freeing her sister’s worries. Even though the female lead’s journey took her from her rural village to the resplendent stage, she never forgot to bring her sister along. She wanted to share her glory with her sister every step of the way and let her see the outside world.
Though the sister was grateful, she at the same time hated the female lead. She hated how her elder sister could stand on stage, receiving flower bouquets and thundering applause. She hated her handicapped fate. Her elder sister grew more famous, yet her own heart only grew more twisted.
The younger sister was a bit of a controversial villain.
Other than the majority of my time spent in the wheelchair acting out emotional scenes with Yin Xuan, I had a scene where I was dreaming. In this dream, the younger sister stood up from her wheelchair and danced with her sister. The elder sister’s classical dancing was graceful and gentle. In contrast, the younger sister’s dancing was frenzied and intense. It was as if they were sparring to determine a victor. The two figures followed closely after each other like a body and its shadow.
This was the only scene where I would dance with Yin Xuan.
After assigning me the role of the younger sister, Yin Xuan was indifferent to me, yet she also didn’t trouble me any further. Quite the opposite; she diligently danced and shot her scenes.
I couldn’t help but admit that when she danced, it was as if she became a whole other person.
She was a proud, shining dancer who used her body to tell a story. Her gaze was focused. From the tautness of the muscles in her legs, one could tell that she spared no effort in her dance. Often, after a scene, her makeup had entirely melted off. Even though the director had hired body doubles in fear of her tiring out, she never once used them.
Once she put on her ballet shoes, she no longer seemed like such an arrogant, unreasonable young miss. She became a dancer seeped in a ballet fantasy.
Her dancing was restrained yet elegant. It carried a timeless rhythm. People couldn’t take their eyes off her. No other arms could be as soft and graceful as hers.
Watching her solo variation, I felt like I could almost experience for myself the dreams of a struggling, impoverished dancer.
My hands trembled and grew cold. She was a much better dancer than me.
Once the scene concluded, the entire set sounded with applause from admiration. Yin Xuan stopped, but she then turned and smiled in a certain direction of the crowd. Like a butterfly, she gracefully bounded over in her ballet shoes. The crowd parted for her. At the end of the parted path, I saw Yin Li.
After all these days, this was the first time I saw him straight on. He always seemed to have this special aura; one could always pick him out from the crowd. I was squeezed in the midst of an excited group of dancers, and took a glance at him from a distance.
Yin Xuan was clearly very happy to see Yin Li. She pulled his hand and was cheerfully saying something. However, Yin Li seemed to be absent-minded. His gaze swept across the crowd of dancers and finally landed on me.
He then smiled at me. It was a shallow, imperceptible smile that seemed to disappear as quickly as it had appeared. Yet I still was able to catch it.
Afterwards, Yin Li frequently came to see us rehearse. The cast and crew all called him the perfect brother. But only I knew that his gaze wasn’t on Yin Xuan. What’s more, Yin Xuan knew all this yet didn’t expose the matter. Dancing occupied all her focus. She liked this script.
Because I had become a supporting actress, the crew had assigned me an individual dance coach and choreographer. Every day, I would practice the choreography alone.
Yin Li’s gaze followed me all along. His gaze was polite. It tenderly stopped at the appropriate distance. There was no sense of encroachment. His gaze was warm and kind.
We never exchanged words, yet I felt at ease.
Soon, my scenes would begin shooting. The first time I acted with Yin Xuan, she wore patched-up clothes, pushed my wheelchair and spun around gleefully. As she danced, she twirled my wheelchair around too, letting me experience the joy of dancing.
I looked at her with pure gratitude and joy.
I thought that we would bicker and be unable to act out our parts, but that never happened. Yin Xuan quickly became immersed in her role. Her face brimmed with a bumpkin girl’s innocent smile. She looked at me with the same clear gaze. It was as if she was really looking at her younger sister, whom she tenderly loved.
“I will be your legs!” she said to me. Then, she started dancing on the dusty road. The uneven, pothole-ridden road was unable to stop her passion for ballet.
“As long as this ground is made for standing, this ground is made for dancing!”
I looked at her and shouted in excitement: “You’re flying! You’re flying!”
She turned and looked at me. The backlighting traced out her gorgeous silhouette. “I will fly. I will fly out of this village, and fly with you together to see the world.”
We shot these scenes all in one take. The director was very satisfied. Yet once the cameras stopped rolling, Yin Xuan and I exchanged a fleeting glance and then turned and walked away from each other. I looked at Yin Li, who was sitting to the side. His expression, which he did not hide fast enough, was yearning yet clearly disappointed at the same time.
Every scene afterwards, he would always sit there with a calm demeanor and complicated expression. When he looked at the love between Yin Xuan and I, he really hoped that reality would reflect our acting.
But that was not meant to be. In the end, the relationship between Yin Xuan and I would only worsen, and our on-screen relationship was no exception.
Finally, it came to the dance between just the two of us.
I was eager, and I could sense that Yin Xuan had also waited for this moment for a long time.
Currently, the female lead was already a world-famous young dancer. In the streets of Europe, one could see her large, blown-up advertisements. She was no longer the bumpkin girl with the patched-up clothes. She had become a ballet goddess and appeared on the covers of all sorts of fashion magazines.
Yet, I was still that handicapped girl who was capable of nothing. I looked on as my sister shot to stardom.
In this scene, I played a leading role. As Yin Xuan danced simple ballet choreography on the side, I dreamed of myself rising from the wheelchair. Then, I edged toward Yin Xuan and started dancing.
“Cut!” the director yelled. “It’s not this feeling. You’re never giving enough energy. Again.”
I had no choice but to return to the wheelchair and start over. But I never seemed to be able to grasp the feeling the director talked of. We had to re-shoot the start of this scene four times already. Perhaps because of her brother’s presence, Yin Li restrained herself and didn’t flip out.
“Nevermind. It’s your first time acting. You might not be able to let loose in front of the camera. Go home and think about it. Let’s call it a day.”
The director motioned for the cast and crew to wrap up. I planned to have the makeup artist remove my makeup. But I was stopped in the lounge by Yin Xuan.
She had once again resumed her impatient expression, and her tone carried a trace of malice.
“Why did you think I wanted you as supporting character?” She stuck out her chin. “It’s not to embarrass you. It’s not to make you look bad when you dance next to me!
“You never agreed to dance a duet with me before. You are Madame Taylor’s pupil, and you’ve never publicly performed. You’ve always been haughty and disdained me. I’ve been looking forward to this duet for God knows how long.”
She looked me in the eyes, proud as ever. “Dance the role! You aren’t supposed to dance as yourself. You need to dance as her! Through dance, you must evoke her life! On stage, there is no you. Only her! If you want to get your revenge on me, then bring out the level that Alica is capable of. Leave me in the dust. The further the better. Or else, you won’t even have the right to stand on the same stage as me.”
She didn’t wait for my reply and left, her expression indeterminable.
Upon returning to the set, her demeanor wasn’t like the arrogant one she showed in private. She only shot me a provoking glance where Yin Li couldn’t see.
She was trying to anger me.
“Go ahead and dance your anger and hatred,” her glare seemed to say to me.
I saw her perfectly posed. Under the direction of the director, I sat back down in the wheelchair.
I took a deep breath.
Under the admiring gazes of the other corps de ballet members, Yin Xuan “bestowed” upon me a supporting character role, and I “shot up through the ranks” just like that. The director brought me a copy of the script. He still had his doubts about me. After all, compared to the winner of an international competition, there wasn’t anything even slightly newsworthy about me that they could use to hype up the movie.
“Ask me if you don’t understand anything.”
Right after he said that, I started reading the script. In fact, my screen time was relatively short and I was only needed to dance one scene.
“Only I Dance” told the story of a single ballet dancer. The dancer grew up in poverty and with hardship. She began her journey on an uneven dirt road, sandy and filled with potholes. Yet she persisted, step by step, until she ended up on the big stage. It was a feel-good story about someone’s path to success.
My role would be the female lead’s younger sister, who was disabled and confined to a wheelchair. Every day, the female lead would care for her sister and push the wheelchair tiringly in hopes of freeing her sister’s worries. Even though the female lead’s journey took her from her rural village to the resplendent stage, she never forgot to bring her sister along. She wanted to share her glory with her sister every step of the way and let her see the outside world.
Though the sister was grateful, she at the same time hated the female lead. She hated how her elder sister could stand on stage, receiving flower bouquets and thundering applause. She hated her handicapped fate. Her elder sister grew more famous, yet her own heart only grew more twisted.
The younger sister was a bit of a controversial villain.
Other than the majority of my time spent in the wheelchair acting out emotional scenes with Yin Xuan, I had a scene where I was dreaming. In this dream, the younger sister stood up from her wheelchair and danced with her sister. The elder sister’s classical dancing was graceful and gentle. In contrast, the younger sister’s dancing was frenzied and intense. It was as if they were sparring to determine a victor. The two figures followed closely after each other like a body and its shadow.
This was the only scene where I would dance with Yin Xuan.
After assigning me the role of the younger sister, Yin Xuan was indifferent to me, yet she also didn’t trouble me any further. Quite the opposite; she diligently danced and shot her scenes.
I couldn’t help but admit that when she danced, it was as if she became a whole other person.
She was a proud, shining dancer who used her body to tell a story. Her gaze was focused. From the tautness of the muscles in her legs, one could tell that she spared no effort in her dance. Often, after a scene, her makeup had entirely melted off. Even though the director had hired body doubles in fear of her tiring out, she never once used them.
Once she put on her ballet shoes, she no longer seemed like such an arrogant, unreasonable young miss. She became a dancer seeped in a ballet fantasy.
Her dancing was restrained yet elegant. It carried a timeless rhythm. People couldn’t take their eyes off her. No other arms could be as soft and graceful as hers.
Watching her solo variation, I felt like I could almost experience for myself the dreams of a struggling, impoverished dancer.
My hands trembled and grew cold. She was a much better dancer than me.
Once the scene concluded, the entire set sounded with applause from admiration. Yin Xuan stopped, but she then turned and smiled in a certain direction of the crowd. Like a butterfly, she gracefully bounded over in her ballet shoes. The crowd parted for her. At the end of the parted path, I saw Yin Li.
After all these days, this was the first time I saw him straight on. He always seemed to have this special aura; one could always pick him out from the crowd. I was squeezed in the midst of an excited group of dancers, and took a glance at him from a distance.
Yin Xuan was clearly very happy to see Yin Li. She pulled his hand and was cheerfully saying something. However, Yin Li seemed to be absent-minded. His gaze swept across the crowd of dancers and finally landed on me.
He then smiled at me. It was a shallow, imperceptible smile that seemed to disappear as quickly as it had appeared. Yet I still was able to catch it.
Afterwards, Yin Li frequently came to see us rehearse. The cast and crew all called him the perfect brother. But only I knew that his gaze wasn’t on Yin Xuan. What’s more, Yin Xuan knew all this yet didn’t expose the matter. Dancing occupied all her focus. She liked this script.
Because I had become a supporting actress, the crew had assigned me an individual dance coach and choreographer. Every day, I would practice the choreography alone.
Yin Li’s gaze followed me all along. His gaze was polite. It tenderly stopped at the appropriate distance. There was no sense of encroachment. His gaze was warm and kind.
We never exchanged words, yet I felt at ease.
Soon, my scenes would begin shooting. The first time I acted with Yin Xuan, she wore patched-up clothes, pushed my wheelchair and spun around gleefully. As she danced, she twirled my wheelchair around too, letting me experience the joy of dancing.
I looked at her with pure gratitude and joy.
I thought that we would bicker and be unable to act out our parts, but that never happened. Yin Xuan quickly became immersed in her role. Her face brimmed with a bumpkin girl’s innocent smile. She looked at me with the same clear gaze. It was as if she was really looking at her younger sister, whom she tenderly loved.
“I will be your legs!” she said to me. Then, she started dancing on the dusty road. The uneven, pothole-ridden road was unable to stop her passion for ballet.
“As long as this ground is made for standing, this ground is made for dancing!”
I looked at her and shouted in excitement: “You’re flying! You’re flying!”
She turned and looked at me. The backlighting traced out her gorgeous silhouette. “I will fly. I will fly out of this village, and fly with you together to see the world.”
We shot these scenes all in one take. The director was very satisfied. Yet once the cameras stopped rolling, Yin Xuan and I exchanged a fleeting glance and then turned and walked away from each other. I looked at Yin Li, who was sitting to the side. His expression, which he did not hide fast enough, was yearning yet clearly disappointed at the same time.
Every scene afterwards, he would always sit there with a calm demeanor and complicated expression. When he looked at the love between Yin Xuan and I, he really hoped that reality would reflect our acting.
But that was not meant to be. In the end, the relationship between Yin Xuan and I would only worsen, and our on-screen relationship was no exception.
Finally, it came to the dance between just the two of us.
I was eager, and I could sense that Yin Xuan had also waited for this moment for a long time.
Currently, the female lead was already a world-famous young dancer. In the streets of Europe, one could see her large, blown-up advertisements. She was no longer the bumpkin girl with the patched-up clothes. She had become a ballet goddess and appeared on the covers of all sorts of fashion magazines.
Yet, I was still that handicapped girl who was capable of nothing. I looked on as my sister shot to stardom.
In this scene, I played a leading role. As Yin Xuan danced simple ballet choreography on the side, I dreamed of myself rising from the wheelchair. Then, I edged toward Yin Xuan and started dancing.
“Cut!” the director yelled. “It’s not this feeling. You’re never giving enough energy. Again.”
I had no choice but to return to the wheelchair and start over. But I never seemed to be able to grasp the feeling the director talked of. We had to re-shoot the start of this scene four times already. Perhaps because of her brother’s presence, Yin Li restrained herself and didn’t flip out.
“Nevermind. It’s your first time acting. You might not be able to let loose in front of the camera. Go home and think about it. Let’s call it a day.”
The director motioned for the cast and crew to wrap up. I planned to have the makeup artist remove my makeup. But I was stopped in the lounge by Yin Xuan.
She had once again resumed her impatient expression, and her tone carried a trace of malice.
“Why did you think I wanted you as supporting character?” She stuck out her chin. “It’s not to embarrass you. It’s not to make you look bad when you dance next to me!
“You never agreed to dance a duet with me before. You are Madame Taylor’s pupil, and you’ve never publicly performed. You’ve always been haughty and disdained me. I’ve been looking forward to this duet for God knows how long.”
She looked me in the eyes, proud as ever. “Dance the role! You aren’t supposed to dance as yourself. You need to dance as her! Through dance, you must evoke her life! On stage, there is no you. Only her! If you want to get your revenge on me, then bring out the level that Alica is capable of. Leave me in the dust. The further the better. Or else, you won’t even have the right to stand on the same stage as me.”
She didn’t wait for my reply and left, her expression indeterminable.
Upon returning to the set, her demeanor wasn’t like the arrogant one she showed in private. She only shot me a provoking glance where Yin Li couldn’t see.
She was trying to anger me.
“Go ahead and dance your anger and hatred,” her glare seemed to say to me.
I saw her perfectly posed. Under the direction of the director, I sat back down in the wheelchair.
I took a deep breath.
