Chapter 3: Ninjas Have Time to Spare
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Aria was hospitalised in an Institute of Medicine in Shirokanedai in Minato ward– A large, 8-storey building.
Being surrounded by a thick grove of trees gave it an air of exclusivity.
I tried to pay a hospital visit… but when I got to the front desk, I couldn’t even get close after being told:「No Visitors」.
While pretending to shop in the first-floor convenience store, I checked the location of the elevators and the stairwells–
I can get up to the 7th floor patient rooms, but…
I didn’t go because I had a strange feeling.
From what I had heard, Aria’s first-year Amica, Akari Mamiya, who respects her to an extraordinary degree, had rushed to the medical institute before me…
After being refused at the front desk, she tried to angrily storm past, but was thrown out by some suited women. Both of them were Caucasian.
When they threw her out, Mamiya got a chance to snatch one of their lapel pins that was in the shape of the broken circle of the insignia of the Ministry of Foreign Affairs.
–So the Ministry of Foreign Affairs is involved.
It appears the VIP Miss Aria was being forced to rest. The women Mamiya had seen were likely military attaches. Without the cooperation of the Tokyo British embassy, even a Butei could not gain entrance.
At least–not by ordinary means
I will come again, but I will need to infiltrate.
That being the case, it would not be good if they knew my face.
Reasoning that out, I returned to Butei High…
I reached out to Riko and said『I need you to do something for me. Off the record.』, toward that end.
In the cafeteria after classes, I waited in the cool breeze, drinking coffee.
With a flutter, a leaf was carried past on the wind.
「–Hina Fuuma, at your service.」
My Amica appeared from somewhere on one knee with her hair in a ponytail.
A descendant of ninjas, I thought to ask my junior in LEZZAD for advice on how to infiltrate the hospital…
「I am pleased to serve the role of your teacher once more. I will devote myself entirely to this purpose–」
「Your greeting is acceptable, raise your head and stand.」
Although I cannot see inside because I was looking down, she was kneeling on a short skirt.
She wore something like a scarf that concealed her mouth and the bottom of her face… but from her features, I could tell that she will be a beautiful woman in the future. Like a girl from a shojou manga that could be described by the line「Huh…? You’re surprisingly cute!」, I was never more on guard.
「–My infiltration was foiled, the medical institute, especially the 7th floor upon which Lady Aria’s room is located was under close guard. A cohort of 4 Anglo and Japanese guards were permanently stationed there.」
Gathering her legs beneath her and standing, Fuuma delivered her report straight away.
「4, you say? If that’s the case, then covering each other’s blind spots, getting past them would be difficult.」
That being the case, it would be hard to sneak in. How then do I get in?
「There is another curious matter. Despite the fact that she must have regained consciousness, she has not reach out to anyone. Add the Ministry of Foreign Affairs’ curiously hasty intervention, it gives the impression of one under house arrest. Otherwise she would have reached out herself…」
…So, they must be kidnapping her.
The London Butei Bureau has wanted to take advantage of Aria’s criminal hunting skill from the start–maybe they want the『Holmes』name to strike fear into every criminal’s heart. Notwithstanding the disposition of Kanae Kanzaki’s trial, perhaps they though that having such an asset rooted in one place would be a national loss.
「As you say. If I might make the humble suggestion that you take no rash action. If the enemy is alerted, then they might strengthen the defences around Lady Aria by moving her to an even more impregnable location.」
「You’re right, but then what do I do?」
「Ninjas have time to spare where guards do not. In contrast to the infiltrators who can bide their time until the moment is right, guards must be constantly vigilant. Given enough time, even the best guards will become tired, creating an opening. When that happens–waiting hidden inside the hospital, you could take advantage of the opening.」
「An ambush strategy, Lurking,… huh? But if I stayed inside the hospital all the time, they would suspect something. Unless you are suggesting that I disguise myself as a doctor or something?」
「Nay. If I may be so bold, but your manner is too haphazard, and not at all in keeping with that of a doctor.」
That’s pretty rude, you know,
「Well then, what do you suggest?」
I asked and folded my arms, and taking on a pensive expression, Fuuma replied–
「–A convenience store clerk!」
…What…?
There was a Convenience 9 inside the first floor of the medical institute. It was patronised almost exclusively by patients and visitors.
According to Fuuma’s research, a male clerk had recently left, and they were looking to hire a part-time worker.
Fuuma’s plan was to use the convenience store as a hideout…
After hearing the plan in detail, it was clearly a good idea. On top of that, due to privacy protection laws, part-time workers’ personal information and details cannot be shared with anyone. My real identity would not be disclosed to the hospital.
That being the case–I will take Fuuma’s suggestion and work part-time at the convenience store, waiting for my chance. Then, whether Aria is hospitalised or being isolated, I will get in contact with her.
But Fuuma also had a warning for me…
When it comes to Aria, I tend to act rashly.
As her partner, it is only natural and to be expected, but in this case would be a grave mistake.
So I will have to try to keep my head.
The actual act of infiltration is child’s play, though.
I have already infiltrated an elite high school as a student and an IT company as the company president’s butler. This is only a convenience store worker. For an ordinary high school student, the job should be easy.
–And using the black rimmed glasses Fuuma had already obtained as a minimal disguise… I became the prefect image of a total loser. It fit me well. The glasses, that is.
A few days later, I headed toward the Convenience 9, alone…
Before entering, I thought to myself that the interior was a bit disorganised. The merchandise was displayed haphazardly, and it looked like the store hadn’t been cleaned thoroughly. The worker must have done just what was easily visible.
Upon telling them that I was here for an interview, I was taken into the back and seated in a folding chair…
So this is what it’s like on the other side of the register. This part of the store serves as a storage area.
This being my first time in the backroom of a convenience store, my interest was stirred–
The store manager across from me looked over my CV but seemed entirely disinterested.
With a long ovular face, flashy clothes, and younger than I would have expected, the manager Kowada said:
「Hmm… a guy, huh…」
Despite the fact that we were in a medical building, he was smoking as he grumbled to himself. He looked awfully bored.
But when a university age girl came in and said:「Boss~! The dragon-type is out~!」and showed him the mobile game on her screen, he smiled and said:「Oh! Just wait one moment」and showed a kinder expression.
「Tokyo Bu… High? Don’t know that one. So you’re a highschooler?」
「Y-yes.」
Thank goodness. I didn’t know how extensive the background check would be, so I wrote everything done correctly. However, it appears that he is going to ignore it.
Or, rather… is it actually that you can’t read the character ‘tei’ in Butei, Mr. Manager?
「Ya ever done any other part-time kind of work? Got any retail experience?」
「I’ve done security and investigative work… but no retail experience.」
「Huh. Well, you look strong enough… And the OFC has been nagging me lately…1」
The manager Kowada went on mixing in retail jargon–then he asked me which days and hours I was available during the week.
Because I intended to stake out the hospital, I told the manager that I could come in for the evening until midnight shift every day, and that appeared to make a good impression with him.
「Well then, come in for the shift tomorrow. You have to be here 10 minutes early, no exceptions, to take over the store, got it? While you’re in training you get three-quarter pay.」
Tamping out his cigarette, he hired me.
It’s a lucky thing the labour laws were revised to allow highschoolers to work part-time job until late at night.
***************************************************
Layering my borrowed uniform over my Butei High bulletproof uniform, I showed up to work at『Convenience 9』the next day–
First, the more senior part-time worker taught me the store phrases, how to label and price the merchandise, how to stock and display the merchandise, how to bag the customers’ purchases, and how to sweep and clean the store.
But then–
After showing me so many things on the first day in such a rapid succession… I found myself unable to remember them all. What’s more, I was only given one brief explanation of each of them. And because my normal memory
「Uh… the handheld terminal… is that what it’s called? Where is it stored?」
「Eh? I just told you.」
Just tell me!
That is what I want to say, but the manager left to goof off in the back and left my training to the female university student, so of course it suffered.
But if I get upset, I’ll miss even more from the inadequate explanation that I do get.
I can’t even learn if I don’t get even a poor explanation, though, so I said:
「W-well… could you tell me again…?」
I said in a strained, low voice.
「You’re a big boy aren’t you? Think about it for a minute!」
But…you say to think about it, but I’ve never done anything like this before, so I can’t even begin to guess.
Giving up, I began to look around the register area and open each of the drawers one by one.
In order to prevent the accidental discharge of a gun that might be in a drawer, I picked up the habit of starting to open a drawer slowly at Butei High– but the other part-timer yelled at me.
「Imbecile!」
Snatching the portable terminal up quickly, she slammed it into the charger that was hidden on one of the shelves.
「Sorry…」
I said in a barely audible voice.
Having shown me how to do several tasks, it seems like the female university student worker was going to take a break.
I heard the shrill cries of the other part-timers saying things like:
「Fun!」
「Super Fun!」
She was drawn into the managers popular back room.
That is to say… except for the manager, all the workers are beautiful female university students in heavy make-up, discounting their personalities.
From what I observed during the interview, this must be the manager’s thing… but, personally, it’s a bit inconvenient.
It might be a bit harder than I thought. Working in a convenience store, that is…
However, I did not have any time to waste–
I began putting things in order and straightening things inside the store, cleaning the floor while being mindful of the customers, paying attention and being at the register before them, collecting payment for their late-night magazine purchases… averting my eyes from the adult themed ones… arranging the display case–
I began to notice a pattern in the work, repeating the same tasks.
Whenever I was there, the other workers barely did any work.
Pushing all kinds of work onto me, they all played with the manager. It was like Nakasorachi forcing the sweeping of the CONNECT building onto me. It was like some kind of horrible sweatshop.
Now I understand. They treated the male part-timer before me this way too, and that was why he quit.
But I am the one who gave them the opening to exploit me. When I’m in front of them, I’m so scared of going into Hysteria Mode– I can’t even meet their eyes, and I start fumbling for words. Even with female customers, my strained and nervous behaviour is patently obvious.
As a result, they easily drew the conclusion that I was「a timid person」.
Because of that, I was isolated, and that is a good way to make someone do something.
Now, and later, making me do their work as well.
Things, however, would be absolutely hopeless if my Hysteria Mode acted up. My chronic condition causes all sorts of problems with interpersonal communication.
Unfortunately, there is no way to cure myself from Hysteria Mode.
If I get a normal job in the future…
It will be like this, won’t it?
I won’t be able to work freely in a normal job, will I…?
Dammit. Why are their tears in my eyes? I can’t cry at work! Especially not a customer service job!
I– can’t get fired.
I have to stay. I haven’t gotten my chance to find the opening in my enemy’s defences… to get to Aria.
Hang in there. Hang in there, Kinji.
I have to look objectively at putting up with this job. There isn’t a job that exists that doesn’t come with some kind of pain. There are things in the world that are harder than others.
But that should not be a discouragement. Right now, I have to hold onto this job…!
***************************************
My shift is strange in the fact that I am the only one that arrives early, and I am the only one that ends up staying late.
The「margin」between my shift and the next has been growing each day. Today, I worked more than 30 minutes of unpaid overtime.
What’s more, the female university student working the shift prior isn’t the kind of person to do a proper shift hand-over. It seemed that she had always pushed her work onto someone else and never did any of her own.
In such trying circumstances, I took advantage of Fuuma’s extensive experience working as a part-timer by calling her to ask questions… Until now, I’d always managed to get my work done.
Because of that, I had some free time to look around and ascertain a few facts–
This Convenience 9 is a franchise store, so it has a franchisee owner, and that owner is a doctor here in the medical institute. That owner is the manager Kowada’s father.
In short, the manager is the doctor’s dissipate son who, due to his personal connection, was left in charge of the store.
It makes sense that he’s a rich kid when you factor in his latest model iPhone and 500,000 Yen watch. 2
Despite that, the manager was a cheapskate, and he hasn’t raised my hourly rate after 80 hours spent in ‘training’.
He pretends that he’s just forgotten, but he might be skimming the extra off the top of my pay. The miser.
However, when his father, the physician, came in to visit, I took special care that he didn’t get a good look at my face, however…
When the owner came in, he entirely failed to check over the sales numbers, the presentation of the merchandise, or the general demeanour of the workers. Instead, he came in with a smiling face to discuss his recent purchase of a Celsior with his dissipate son.3
…You can’t help but think the best of your child, but in the end, this is going to make him a terrible person if you keep raising him this way.
Well, actually he is now, isn’t he…?
Whenever there was work that he didn’t want to do, or helping the customers was too much for him… he would completely stop working and retreat into the back and play UNO with the female university student workers.
「The last round was a penalty round! Now for your tickling punishment! Take that, and that, and that!」
He said things like that so casually… touching people so boldly. He’s got to be popular.
If he was a normal guy, they’d call it sexual harassment and wouldn’t find it so funny, but far from being angry the female students seemed to enjoy it.
Due to my own condition, I am not the slightest bit envious… but the manager must really be well-liked.
It was all because he was rich that they liked him.
They say that attractive men are not well-liked–but from my experience, I would beg to differ.
Old Kansai travelling storytellers used to tell the tales that without『charred newt』4 a man well-liked by women was:「1.Fashionable」, 「２. Handsome」, 「3. Rich」, 「4. Skilled in their craft」, 「5. Hardworking」, 「6. Pure of heart and mind」, 「7. Well spoken」, 「8. Strong」, 「9. Courageous」and「10. Of good reputation」
The manager had number 3 going for him. Number 10 was hardly my own personal strength, although in Hysteria Mode number 7 was spotlighted.
One of these that is going to send me straight to hell…
When I recall the things I said while hysterised, I end up making myself depressed–
「Oi! Tohyama! Go buy me some cigs! Ma Me Li’s! Same as last time!」
「O-okay!」
By using me as a gofer, it gives me the chance to scout the medical institute.
Because we are in a medical building, the convenience store doesn’t sell cigarettes, so a store outside has a monopoly on that. Usually it would be difficult to send a minor to buy such a thing, but the old, senile granny who runs the shop outside just sells them to anyone.
I got used to being a gofer for Ranbyou, so I rushed out as fast as I could and made sure I grabbed the (Ma)rlboro (Me)nthol (Li)ghts–
Using the bit of free time I gained by running, I scouted out the stairwell inside the institute that led to the upstairs treatment rooms.
It was 10 o’clock. All the outpatients had long since left. There was no chance of running into anyone.
But…making my way carefully up to the fourth floor, I suddenly stopped.
–Someone is there.
Somehow, the training I received at Butei High had trained my senses…
Due to some kind of acquired skill, I understood why. Above me, there were 4 professionals.
If I took another step, they would be sure to sense me.
I still haven’t gotten the chance to learn anything…
Reluctantly, I retreated, taking extreme care not to make any noise–then I returned to the convenience store.
「Took you long enough!」
The manager Kowada shouted, kicking my leg from the folding chair where he sat.
「…Sorry…」
Snatching the proffered cigarette package away from me, his attitude said:『Get back to work!』
Returning to the centre of the group of girls, he resumed talking about the snowboarding trip he was going to take.
This is Kowada’s little kingdom…
I’ve heard the expression ‘king of the hill’, but this is a real example.
In society, people like that get along pretty well. Pretty often too.
People like me with bad points are left out and get to be someone else’s gofer until they’re a grandfather.
If someone like me heads out into society and gets a normal job, will that be what it’s like?
I should learn from this depiction of the sad reality…
Adjusting the black-rimmed glasses I wore simply as a disguise, I went back to stocking the sake that was selling well due to the cold weather.
********************************************
For in-patients and hospital staff, the Convenience 9 was pretty much a 24-hour operation…
But as it wears on towards midnight, the number of customers taper off.
I’ve already dealt with deliveries, stocked the inventory, swept up, cooked the fired chicken and manjuu… so now there isn’t anything to be done.
However, a customer occasionally walks in, so I have to keep standing at the register without a break.
That is pretty hard. Mentally, that is.
It’s so slow…
It’s like the times where Aria shoots her guns, Shirayuki and Kaname brandish knives, and Riko lobs grenades–like when I hide in the bulletproof closet until the storm whipped up by those girls passes by–that is exactly the feeling I am getting right now.
But at least there I could use my mobile to browse a cinema news site or message with Mutou. I can’t do anything like that here in the workplace. Even though the female university student workers play on their mobiles when no customers are around.
When the manager and girls emerged from the backroom to get some hot water for their soup cups… The Convenience 9 could be said to be anything but quiet–
–Then an unlooked-for customer entered the store.
Their right hand was inside the pocket of the hoodie they wore, and they chewed some gum as they swaggered into the store… it was about half past 2 AM and she was a petite girl.
She was beautiful with egg-yolk coloured hair with large slitted eyes that drew attention to her. The roots of her dyed blonde hair showed her hair’s natural colouring, a rich caramel.
All at once the nickname given to her by the granny running the shop outside came to mind,『Ya-chan』. But I didn’t use it now–she was a habitual shoplifter.
「Welcome to the store!」
She was on the store’s blacklist, but a customer is a customer, so I turned toward her with a smile and polite greeting.
But she ignored me and pulled out something with a *Click!* It was a switchblade from her pocket, and the sound was the locking mechanism. From the sound, I could tell it was the same kind the Fujikibayashi bought online.
From the way it is hanging, it seems that her left arm is broken, and she has returned to her bad habit of theft… The female workers and manager then retreated to the backroom, giving the impression of『Let’s leave it to Tohyama』.
It’s not a big deal, it looks like they just don’t want to deal with a difficult customer.
But there was a moment when I could no longer hear them slurping ramen. They must have been taking still photos from the security cameras to serve as evidence of Ya-chan’s crime.
But Ya-chan is good. There is no way the cameras can catch the instant she swipes the goods. Incidentally, the thing she steals most often is plum flavoured chewing gum. That seems to be her favourite, and the damage only totals up to 600 Yen.
The store has a policy in the event of an escaping shoplifter– Throw an anti-theft colour ball to leave coloured paint on their clothes and shoes so they can’t play dumb when they are arrested. It was written in the store manual.
But even if the camera catches her this time… I’ll be the one who has to clean up the coloured paint, won’t I?
So I decided to handle it with what was written on the previous page of the manual. Casually walking around the store to deter shoplifting.
I followed her as she browsed the magazines, looked longingly at the ice cream in the walk-in freezers, and opened and shut the refrigerators full of canned coffee and juice… I always kept a fixed distance from her while completing some kind of work in the store.
She is small, so she is able to pick up on subtle cues–
「…Augh…! What is it with you! Wherever I go, you’re always in my way!」
Ya-chan suddenly grabbed me by the collar of my work uniform as I was mopping the floor.
She seems to be the kind of rascal that lashes out in anger because she can’t leave the hospital.
This is dangerous. But not for me, for you.
For example, the collars of the Butei High blazers come equipped with needles in case you are grabbed by the lapel. If someone grabs you by the collar, they’ll get stung. In order to prevent hurting others, I removed them.
「Oh… My apologies. Please excuse me.」
A forced smile on my face, I kowtowed to this younger person.
But rather than deescalate the situation, this seemed to make her even angrier.
「What’s with the attitude? Pickin’ a fight? Huh? Wanna have a go?」
This is really weird… you’ve got to be some kind of amateur, right? Isn’t it better to attack before the other guy gets the chance to respond? At least, that is what I think.
「My apologies…」
「You know who I am? My boyfriend’s in the Yakuza!」
Oh! What a coincidence, I know people in the Yakuza. I’m stalked by their former leader.
With that thought in mind, I didn’t give any kind of worried reaction.
She definitely said that just to try to rattle me. But seeing that she hadn’t provoked any kind of response, she grimaced in annoyance.
But… Weren’t you just intently reading the women’s magazine with the headline『No Experience? A must-see for all ages! What do you do to get a boyfriend?』You were even taking notes on you mobile. If you’re going to lie, at least make it more believable.
「You wanna go!? Call the cops! I’ll take ya, I’ll bury you! How ’bout that! Where’s all that big talk gonna go when you get trashed by a girl!? Ya get me!?」
Ya-chan spat out (what was at least intended to be) cutting words.
「Uhhh? I don’t really understand.」
I answered, genuinely confused.
「Eh!?」
Then with a scowl, she let go of my collar, almost as if she was tired of holding on to it. The she raised a thin eyebrow.
「Ya see this? I broke it in a fight.」
She then raised her left arm, proud of the injury for some reason…
From the bit of the abrasion scab that stuck out of the bandages, I could tell that she probably got it from riding a bicycle. From the way her arm hung, I could tell that it was probably due to a low-speed collision and green fracture.
By the way her fingers moved, it was probably mostly healed. If this were Butei High, she’s have already been long since deemed to be healed and returned to ASSAULT for grappling training. Normal people have a tendency to exaggerate.
「That must have been terrible. A fight, really… just terrible. You’re scary.」
I stumbled through this stupid ad-libbed response, but having seemingly bought my lie, Ya-chan snorted and smiled.
When she smiled though, she looked like a normal, innocent, cute middle schooler.
Caught slightly off-guard– *Pfft!*
Ya-chan spit the gum she had been chewing out onto the floor and left without buying anything.
「C-come again…!」
Ah, I’ll have to clean this.
Well, it’s better than coloured paint, I guess.
*************************************************
Afterwards, I was planning to take my break and eat the bento I had brought with me–
「What’s taking you so long eating! Get back on the register!」
It seemed that having me, a guy, take a break nearby irritated Kowada because it reduced the number of girls around him due to one of them having to stand in for me at the register, so he kicked over my bento.
Despite the fact that I had just seen how cowardly he had been when it came to the delinquent middleschooler, Ya-chan, he was full of bluster now.
I just dealt with Ya-chan and helped the store out. A little praise would be nice.
Speaking of my break, it’s an hour long, isn’t it? It hasn’t even been 15 minutes!
Thinking that–
「–Sorry. I’ll go back.」
I zipped back up the zipper on the Convenience 9 store uniform and went back to the shop floor.
The fried rice bento that I had bought from the store was now scattered across the floor.
「Clean that up!」
I didn’t even have to be told by the female university student.
I haven’t done anything else today.
But, at least here it is… safe and secure… Anti-social guys like me should probably be grateful for such workplaces.
I’ll get plenty of money next month from Beretta. I should be glad to be able to earn some money in the meanwhile. Even if pay is skimmed off the top.
*************************************
Afterwards, I took the chance to scope out the upper floors, but–
The pros from the English embassy and the Ministry of Foreign Affairs still didn’t present any kind of opening. They were on constant, 24-hour alert, ready to counter any potential intruders.
But ninjas have time to spare where guards do not…
In a protracted engagement, I hold the advantage. No matter how good the other side is, they will eventually give me an opening. I just need to use it when it appears. I can’t rush it; I have to bide my time.
I worked and waited for my chance–
Late the next night, Ya-chan came back to the store.
It looked like it was going to be the decisive match between Kinji Tohyama versus the middle school shoplifting girl. If you can scatter my cherry blossoms, then come and scatter them! I thought, but I only had a mop to hand as a weapon.
But then, after working very hard to gain my attention, she pushed merchandise off the shelf in the next aisle over from where I was mopping.
「Kyahaha! Oops–!」
Then she would sprint away laughing as she short skirt fluttered.
After that she made complaints like:
「Hey! You didn’t gimme my change!」
Among other things. She also spilled her Fanta on purpose, hit me with her empty drink cans as she pretended to toss them away, and all other kinds of bullying.
「You’re too slow at cleaning up. You should quit, quit! You really should!」
Ya-chan repeated these kinds of things over and over…
She couldn’t blow off her own steam by shoplifting while I was here, so that’s why she wants me to quit.
What’s more, even though she didn’t buy anything, I had to stand behind the register.
「I’m telling ya, it’s the best thing for society. A worthless person like you should just quit, ya know, for society.」
Caught between the register and the backroom, she unleashed a constant barrage of verbal insults.
There aren’t any other customers in the shop right now, so I guess it’s fine…
This kid seems like she is pretending to care more than she actually does about society. Like she’s some kind of ‘justice’.
But that’s also a symptom of chuunibyou-ism. It’s part of the process of human development.
「The ward mayor and the chief of police are friends of mine. I could have you fired, just like that!」
「…」
I put on a forced smile behind my black rimmed glasses, and…
…!…
When my eyes suddenly bulged in shock, Ya-chan must have thought:
『I finally got him scared!』
Then she gave a self-satisfied smirk…
What had really surprised me, however–was behind Ya-chan’s blonde dye job whose roots were beginning to show–
It was on the other side of the convenience store’s automatic doors.
I hoped I was seeing things.
I hoped it was some kind of optical illusion.
But the heartless door opened– and the girls were lit in the dazzling late-night fluorescent lights of the convenience store.
–Son of a bitch…I wasn’t mistaken…!
…Yen…!
Walking into the convenience store disguised as normal humans were 3 onis–
They’re here… but why!?
I know I had heard from Watson that they had arrived in Japan, but I never expected them to show up here so suddenly… this was something I did not expect.
Yen’s costume began with the black leather boots that thudded every time she took a step, leather trousers, and a leather jacket that covered her in black from head to toe. Her large chest– spread out into a tank top, and her hair was the same deep brown She was wearing sunglasses and a black leather hat skewed to the left that made her horns look like hat ornaments. Behind her… the wicked shape of her kanabou, Kongourokkaku, hung on her back, gleaming darkly with a grey light.
Carrying someone in her right arm wearing a frilly primary school uniform…
Habi…!
The tiny, superhuman oni. It’s been a while since the last time I saw her during the Bandire on Empty Island.
Next to Yen was one more person–It was the first time I had ever seen them, but the short horn poking out from between her forelocks told me that she was an oni–a slender, beautiful woman.
She wore a navy blue, knee-length skirt with a sailor suit uniforms, but the young female oni’s expression was more expressionless, harder and colder than Yen or Habi’s. At her waist, not only the grip, but also the sheath of her sword was coated in leather, and the whole thing up to the hilt was covered in leather wrappings, a kawatsutusmi–commonly known as a demon blade. 5
But why are they here…!?
At a complete loss for words, my eyes met Habi’s and she smiled back… her whole face suddenly broke into a grin.
「–Any naughty children around here? Ahahaha!」
The glass panes of the automatic doors quivered at the loud『namahage』-like shout.6
Jumping at the sound of the voice, Ya-chan finally noticed the existence of the oni behind her.
Being so clearly armed and giving off the impression that『they are not engaged in any kind of respectable business, much less being very human,』, Ya-chan’s black-rooted blonde dyed hair stood on end in fright…
Looking behind her, her legs went weak, and she slumped to sit on the floor.
Her back was pressed up against the counter,「G-get out」,she whispered in a quavering voice that failed along with her spirit, but–
She didn’t stir; all her strength having left her body.
Added to that, likely drawn out by Habi’s shout, the shop manager and the female university part-timers came out of the back room onto the sales floor.
Dammit! If the onis go crazy here… we’re done for. I’m only in my normal state, but even then, I’d have to try to protect everyone and get them out of here. That would be absolutely impossible.
Her eyes searching for something from behind her sunglasses, Yen lumbered heavily over toward me–
She moved to give the frozen Ya-chan a light kick to push her out of the way.
But– I realised something. Yen has no concept of her own strength. She might not mean to, but wherever she is stepping she is sending out seismic waves.
I don’t even think she is aware of it.
Yen, stop! A kick from you is fatal–this is only a normal girl.
「–!」
Without thinking, I vaulted over the register counter–grabbed the hood of Ya-chan’s hoodie and dragged her along.
Then as Ya-chan and I knocked into an endcap display rack, Yen’s foot sailed through the air, colliding with something.
–*Whoosh!*
Yen’s foot grazed the edge of the register counter, and the entire thing exploded into a million pieces, with stainless steel parts flying in all directions from the hole she had made.
Dammit! This woman is a bulldozer…!
Taking this extremely rash action despite the fact the I was not in Hysteria Mode, my heart rate and breathing rate spiked as I did my best to settle them.
Then, brushing off the Frisk mints that has rained down on us from the destroyed shelving–thanks to Ya-chan clinging to me in horror, I noticed that I was somewhat hysterised.
No offence, but she’s not exactly my type, so this has got to be The Suspension Bridge Effect, right?
When the heart rate of the human body increases, the brain mistakes the pounding in the chest to be due to the opposite sex.
Trembling and crying… Ya-chan howled in fear–My first priority is getting this young girl out of here, but I can’t predict what the onis will do next, and I don’t want to do the wrong thing.
I need to calm down and assess the situation for now.
As my hysterised brain had expected, upon seeing the anything-but-human kick that Yen delivered, the other employees in the shop quickly descended into a panicked state.
The female students shrieked and tried to escape the shop. But the other onis were still walking around, so they couldn’t escape, and they screamed again.
Stop screaming. If you scream, you are going to attract their attention…!
Dammit! Why… why can’t they just hide quietly…!?
The pandemonium inside the shop reached a fever pitch.
「B-boss! This is insane! Totally insane!」
「L-let go of me! You idiots!」
His brown hair ruffled, the female students clung to the manager, but he kicked his favourite girl to shake her off and try to escape himself. However, in doing so, it appeared that he sprained his own ankle, and he collapsed in the spot.
Entirely ignoring the human chaos around her…
Yen went over to where the sake was stocked and picked up the one-cup Ouzeki Sake. 1, 2, 3, no all of them.
Then she dumped them all into Habi’s lap as she still carried her in her arms. Then they picked out the sake and shouchuu. What’s more… I think they took all of it, leaving only the ill-named devil’s brew behind.
After that, Yen took all the whiskey and brandy without bothering to look through it and handed it over to Habi.
As for the other one, the slender oni headed to where the rice was stocked and pillaged all of the onigiri, but– Yen walked over, still carrying Habi, and grabbed the onigiri that was too high to reach… then I saw them all give a slight smile.
Thank goodness… they aren’t here to start a fight… at least that how it looks.
But they still came to this hospital specifically–
Maybe they are here for me, or Aria?
But they just crashed into my workplace unannounced, so I’m not exactly inclined to greet them with a smiling face.
「Why dost humans hoard such necessities–rather than distribute them to those who hath need of them? Doth they all suffer from the same neurosis?」
Looking around the shop, Yen tilted her head, asking me this question without so much as a greeting.
I ignored the rude questions…
Then taking off the glasses that had become twisted when I saved Ya-chan, I cast them aside to reveal my true face.
Then with the look of a warrior in my eyes, I replied:
「–Yo, Yen. You came to Japan the minute the Purification Barrier was down, right? Setsubun just ended. I wonder if those two things were pretty scary for you?」
I probed, adopting a slightly antagonistic position. Back in Dragon Harbour, I couldn’t pin down what her motives were–so I took this chance to hazard another guess.
「And you were so sweet. You could have chased me down and killed me now, but you didn’t.」
I said casually while moving to a place in the store from which I could protect everyone…
In response, Yen tilted her head again, then said:
「Tohyama. When thou takest honey from a beehive dost thou kill every single bee flying in the vicinity?」
She repeated the same line that she had spoken in the Netherlands in a husky voice.
「Rice and sake. We hath merely come to glean them. Those are the two products of humanity we hath use for. Of old times, we hath become addicted to those two articles. By producing rice and sake, thou humans doth serve us–thus we let thee live. Like a beekeeper keeps bees.」
To onis, we humans… really are like insects.
And now I learned one more thing. They are not here after me. Even with provocation, they didn’t come after me.
In that case… perhaps Aria?
The situation is getting more serious.
「Yen-nee-sama. That warrior. May I toy with him?」
The oni in the sailor suit beside Yen asked, indicating me.
「Do what thou wilt, Tsubaki.」
Yen replied, and the oni that she had called Tsubaki… all of a sudden unleashed a torrent of bloodlust.
The atmosphere– became sharp.
She was ready for an insta-kill manoeuvre. I felt as if a sword was held to my throat.
I can’t even guess what Tsubaki’s ability level was…
She called Yen her older sister, so she was somewhere less powerful than Yen. In that case, I’ll act under the assumption that she is just as strong.
That being that case–
If she acts of violently here, then innocent bystanders will be caught up in the fight. They’ll be ripped into a thousand shreds like paper.
That thought crossed my mind before Tsubaki had made her move, so, somewhat reluctantly:
「Outside the shop.」
I drew my Beretta from the waistband holder that I had kept it in all along beneath my Convenience 9 uniform.
I cocked the hammer as a threat, and at the sound of the *Click!*– the female university students saw my gun, and realising that is was real, they shrieked loudly once more.
Stunned speechless, the manager turned pale, and Ya-chan’s eyes bulged.
I’ll apologise to them for concealing my true character later.
「In cases like this, there is typically a duty to first fire a warning shot, but you do not adhere to Butei Law: Article 2.7 Or even Article 9 for that matter. For you, it’s like crushing an insect.」
Having just treated humans as insects, I turned that sentiment right back on her.
Inside the shop– the shelves and low ceiling will catch swords, and guns have an advantage.
By clearly displaying my gun, Tsubaki should know that she is at a disadvantage here.
That being the case, it should prevent the normal people here from being dragged into the situation.
「–Onis belong outside. Leave the shop.」
Standing up, I had already chambered one of the PIERCE bullets given to me last year by the Vatican.
Even if she manages to grab the bullet, even an oni’s hand will have to take some kind of damage.
Having taken aim easily at the oni’s forehead, I made my threat–
「Warrior of Musashi.8 If thou dost grovel like a cockroach, I will eat your heart quickly so thou wilt not suffer. Else, I will leave thee alive and merely consume thine limbs. Make thine choice.」
Even with a gun pointed at her… Tsubaki returned her own threat.
From her tone and composed manner, it is clear that she is not bluffing.
However, she has made no move to draw her blade.
She has merely stood there in a ready position.
This is unlike Yen on the Nao de China, and she seems entirely bent on an encounter…
…Is a bare-handed oni stronger than a human with a gun.
「Thou wilt not apologise? Very well, then I shall cut thee off first below the knees. It is an unfortunate thing. Thou won’t even be able to perceive it. They will be gone before thou hast had a chance to observe it.」
Saying such things, the dark sailor suited oni–
–*Whoosh!*–
–Vanished.
「!」
In that instant the world slowed around me.
*Bam!*
Then the cases of Frisk mints on the ground by my feet exploded and went flying. Those were footprints. In front of me– I saw space itself warp and a pale figure moving. It was Tsubaki. It wasn’t invisibility or teleportation.–It was super speed–!
The possibility of launching my own high-speed attack largely removed, I had to act based on the sensation of her fangs grazing my knee.
–Kikka–!
Pushing off with both my feet at a subsonic speed, I leapt into the air
As part of the motion, I ended upside down and shot out my left handblade with Ouka–
Then as Tsubaki slipped past– *Bang!*– I fired my Beretta with my right.
–*Tap!*–
Sticking the landing after she was clear, she appeared once more to the side of me,
In accordance with the Law of Inertia, her long dark hair and long skirt fluttered violently, and her large breasts regained their original position… In her hand, she does not hold a sword, but rather…
「Humph! I had time for a yawn before your bullet even reached me.」
She held my bullet pinched between her finger.
…Acting as if it were the most natural thing in the world. Even though I shot from point-blank range.
What’s more, it was a PIERCE bullet, so that probably means that she didn’t just grasp it tightly like Yen.
In grabbing my bullet, Tsubaki must have accelerated to the same speed as the bullet and grabbed it.
Even the Butei bullets were defeated…
But that might just be due to her high-speed ability, and one should not despair that all oni are capable of catching bullets.
My firing position was bad, anyway. This was the first time I’ve shot while somersaulting and upside down.
When Tsubaki moved, Yen also tracked her with her eyes, but then from her arms…
「Yen, Tsubaki. I wanna eat.」
Tugging on the chest of Yen’s leather jacket, Habi asked for some food.
「Habi-sama, please wait a moment. There is a detestable warrior here at the moment.」
Tsubaki responded, meaning me.
「Wanna eat. E~at! Eat, eat, eat, eat, e~~~at!!!」
She began to clamour loudly.
In a ridiculously loud voice. Really, this defies all common sense. It’s just like a child fussing.
Hurriedly removing her sunglasses, Yen responded:
「N-now, now…」
Uncharacteristically flustered, she began to soother Habi.
But…
「Wa~aaaaaugh! I hate you! Really hate you~!」
Seated in Yen’s arms, Habi began to squirm.
Paying no heed to the fact that she was wearing a skirt, she began to act like a spoiled child, flailing her arms and legs
Being told by Habi that she was『hated』, Yen…*Whoosh!*…
I could almost hear as the spirit was knocked out of her, and her eyes went white in shock like something out of『Glass Mask』9
「Oh, uh! Habi-sama. Please settle yourself. I have onigiri here.」
Tossing aside the bullet that she had caught and pinching up her long skirt, Tsubaki rushed over to Habi, completely neglecting me.
Then shortly after, she raised the basket full of onigiri that she had pilfered from the island rack and presented them to Habi.
Somehow… for them… Habi is a very important person.
From that, I get the impression that Yen, Tsubaki, and Habi are like a married couple with a child. Despite Yen being a woman.
Can’t you handle a crying child…?
Thanks to that, the battle was postponed…
After Habi gets her food, the chances of them attacking me again are not low.
Being of an entirely different species, Tsubaki and Yen’s thought patterns are hard to discern.
I won’t be able to stop the fight or get them to the respond to negotiations to make these onis in front of me to just leave.
They are part of DEEN– yet, despite that, they do not acknowledge the properly negotiated ceasefire.
What’s more, Habi holds the last piece of Aria’s karagane.
If I can get that back, Aria will not become the Scarlet Goddess.
Despite the fact that they seem hard to intimidate, I…
「The subordinates are the subordinates, and the master is the master.」
Changing tactics and trying to lure them outside, I sneered in contempt at the one they held in high regards as I retreated. Moving toward the exit.
Addressing the child they treasured proved to be exceptionally effective…
「Thou darest to make a mockery of our esteemed master? Such a thing shall not remain unanswered.」
Baring her fangs as if to fulfill her threat of eating my legs, the mother in this little family structure, Tsubaki, scowled back at me once more.
Sword shaking in her hand she took step after step towards me.
Good. I’ll be able to lure at least one of them outside.
Yen and Habi in the store will come out and help if I hurt Tsubaki.
Walking backwards, the automatic doors behind me opened, and Tsubaki– *Whoosh!* –disappeared again. Then in the next instant I heard:
「–Hold, Tsubaki~!」
Like a thunderbolt, that voice reverberated across the sales floor, and with a *Poof!* Tsubaki who had vanished reappeared back where she was originally.
Yen’s sharp rebuke caused Tsubaki’s body to stiffen, and I followed her eyes that continued to move to see what had caught her attention…
There was a whiff of a scent originating from behind me.
One that was entirely unforgettable–
The scent of gardenias.
「–Aria?」
I turned around and saw Aria there, wearing a Butei High sailor suit in an imposing stance.
****************************
****************************
–Seeing Aria, Yen checked Tsubaki. But why did her voice sound slightly panicked…?
Raising one eyebrow at my convenience store uniform and gun. Aria surveyed the scene.
「I had a premonition that when I came I’d find you here, Kinji.」
She opened in her anime-like voice.
Aria’s chest drew attention. Noise came from it, despite the fact that there was nothing there to make it.
「–What about the Ministry of Foreign Affairs’ surveillance?」
「I gave them the slip. They were only worried about watching things on the outside of the room, so it was easy enough to do from inside. What the heck are you doing?」
「Just a bit of part-time work.」
「Wha?」
Now we had become the comedic quarrelling couple.
「–Fou~nd you~!」
From Yen’s arms, Habi pointed and sang out as if she was the seeker in a game of hide-and-go-seek while pointing at Aria.
They were here for Aria like I expected.
Confirming that, I moved to protect Aria by placing her behind me, but–
The one in question, began lumbering forward to stand beside me.
Then she glared. Giving a demon-like glare to the oni inside the shop, she crossed here arms.
「You said that you are part of GRENEDA, you African onis? If your bored, I’ll lend you my chest.」10
How can you lend *anything* from your chest…?
That thought crossed my mind, but I clamped my mouth shut to prevent myself from saying it aloud.
「Lend your chest?」
Hearing a voice from behind us, Aria and I both swivelled our heads around–
At some point, Tsubaki had circled around.
「Do that, and you will end up bankrupt.」
Tsubaki said, thrusting her own breasts of considerable size forward, her words setting a flamethrower to dynamite.
Then Tsubaki slipped up to Aria and flipped up her blouse–
「–?」
Looking down, Aria’s twin tails stood straight out in shocked surprised, a-as her card suit patterned bra… was completely exposed– and it happened! Oi!
「…!」
Distracted entirely in the moment, I was reminded of what had happened during Aria’s dramatic rescue back in April. Her blouse had unfortunately gotten stuck on something, and rode up all the way,
*Fwish!* Smoothing down her blouse with both hands, Aria grabbed both of her guns.
「~~~~~!」
*Cr-creak!* *Creak!* *Cr-creak!*
Gripping her guns tightly, Aria’s entire face turned crimson in anger, from her chin, to her cheeks, to her forehead.
*Sproing!*
A D-shaped blood vessel literally popped out of her forehead, and I was seriously worried about the amount of blood rushing to her head…
「Still the same, Yen-nee-sama.」
「Hmm. It appears we were slightly premature.」
Tsubaki and Yen exchanged these words in front of us.
「Kay, we saw it! Yen, Tsubaki, let’s go! Scarlet Goddess will get here eventually. Can’t get her now!」
Still cradled in Yen’s arms, Habi gave orders in cryptic Japanese.
「Those hair ornaments become you, Aria.」
Tsubaki, outside the store said, and appeared ready to attack–
Inside the store Yen still, carrying Habi, shifted. She and Tsubaki were positioned to attack us in the entrance way from both sides.
I turned to face Yen, and, still enraged at Tsubaki, Aria faced her, pressing her back against mine.
「Back to back. Just like the Hong Kong tanker jacking, huh, Aria?」
「Kinji, I’m going to open a wind hole in them!」
Aria’s actions only strengthened my unexpected lapse into Hysteria Mode–then the moment I squared up with Yen, and Aria with Tsubaki–
Then, without prior arrangement and just like the time on the shinkansen jacking with Aria and Reki, we swapped places. Like a revolving door.
To me– that was what it felt like. Somewhat.
Even without any surprises, this fight is going to be close.
*Tap!* *Tap!*
I heard Yen barrelling like a rocket towards Aria behind me as I fired my modified Beretta at Tsubaki.
Without grabbing my bullets, Tsubaki dodged– instinctively cutting an arc toward my right outside my arm and drawing closer, as I expected her to do.
However, her steps were unhurried, like a girl skipping in a meadow.
Paying no heed to the rain of bullets, she moved in a care-free fashion.
Clicking her tongue as the slide on my gun locked back, Tsubaki approached from the right of the open shop door–
*Pa!**Pa!*
*Pa!* *Pa!* *Pa!* *Pa!* *Pa!*
Her hands cut through the air with small explosive sounds, pouring one attack on after another.
It looks like an unusual Tiger Fist Chinese Kempo style that employed the nails at the ends of her fingertips.
But for Tsubaki– a blow from an oni using this technique is easily distinguishable from a human employing the strategy to blind or scratch their opponent.
Her nails will tear flesh and her flat palm will break bones. It’s an edged hammer that inflicts damage wherever it happens to land. It causes more damage than my earlier fully automatic barrage.
I warded off her attacks with a series of Kikkas–wherever one of those hits landed, it would rip flesh away, and the placement of her attacks are random. They’re hard to read.
Checking the interior of the shop in my peripheral view, I saw the manager, female students, and Ya-chan…
They were struck speechless as the number of blows I traded with Tsubaki increased and the seemingly impossible explosive sounds were heard. I’d like to take a moment to give them a wink to reassure them, but I’m currently in a situation where even the slightest moment’s distraction could be fatal. I’m sorry, but I can’t relax my serious expression.
As for Aria–
She spun, cat-like, in a somersault and landed atop the shelf of crisps. Vaulting over the enormous Yen, she squatted on the register counter
Then, transforming into a human gun battery,
*Bang!* *Bang!* *Bang!* *Bang!* *Bang!* *Bang!*
Guarding the shop workers behind her, she unleashed a hail of .45ACP bullets.
「Oh!」
Still in Yen’s arms, Habi either grabbed or dodged the bullets at subsonic speed– but she was definitely moving back toward the automatic door.
In order to protect the civilians inside the store–Aria tried to drive the enemy outside. Despite her anger, as a Butei, it appeared that we both had the same thought.
As Aria fired at Yen, her firing line sent stray bullets straying close to Tsubaki and me.
Typically, such a thing is discouraged in order to prevent accidental friendly fire– but with Aria’s and my power of cooperation, such a thing is possible.
This gun prodigy was able to simultaneously avoid hitting her partner while also using her bullets to keep Tsubaki’s movements in check.
As all this was going on, with a small *Boing!*, Habi got down out of Yen’s arms–
Sake and onigiri held in the front part of her skirts, she skipped past Tsubaki and out the shop’s exit.
As she ran:
「Tsubaki. Right now, it’s just a normal girly, and if you keep playing with the Scarlet Goddess’ doll and the warrior Tohyama, something unexpected might happen. Your master commands you to go!」
Aria drew her swords after having exhausted her bullets, and Yen followed after her leaving the store.
Seeing that– Tsubaki also left, albeit grudgingly.
With Yen chasing after Habi, and Tsubaki following Yen, the onis left the hospital.
At the present moment, I’ve succeeded in protecting he civilians and Aria from the onis…
–Now we have to pursue them!
It was in a manner different than I expected, but I was finally reunited with Aria.
It appears that the expression of my happiness in the reunion is fated to be a smile in the midst of a battle. So now, I rushed over to Aria and gave a tight smile.
「Come on, Aria. I think you know but they have the critical piece of karagane, Let’s be the『oni』now.」
Reloading my gun with the magazine I had concealed in the cuffs of my trousers:
「If we do that, then which one of us is the oni?」11
A large grin split Aria’s face, revealing her canines. With a *Plop!*, she hopped down from the counter.
We’re back together: Holmes the 4th and her slave.
「Oh… Uh…?」
Hearing that sound, I turned and saw Kowada still trembling behind the register.
Having already seen me without my typical glasses, fighting an oni, and now with a gun in my hand–he was at a loss for words.
「Sorry, Boss. I forgot to return change to a customer, so I’ll go and give it to them. May I leave the store? Can we say that my work is for the day is done after I do that?」
「..Y-yeah… sure…」
Tears and nervous beads of sweat on his face, he bobbed his head, a normal, pitiful human being…
I was still an employee. And an employee must take care of their customers.
Not only the karagane on Empty Island, but also in this shop– far from simple theft and shoplifting, their crimes rise to the level of burglary and armed robbery.
Dripping with sweat, I righted the display rack for the canned sake and onigiri. This cannot be tolerated.
I burned with anger, just like my pink, dual wielding partner–
But, before leaving the shop, I addressed Ya-chan who looked up at me from where she was seated by the magazine rack:
「Onis come for children that are up too late.」
I left her with a line my grandmother used back at home.
*Bing-Bong!* *Bing-Bong!*…
『Thank-you very much!』
Was heard from the automatic doors–
Taking off my convenience store uniform, I resumed my Butei High uniform.
–Now then, for my oni customers.
I still owe you some repayment.
{END TEXT]
*********************************
1. OFC: Operation Field Counsellor, a special role within the structure of 7-11. (If you haven’t figured it out ‘Convenience 9 is a parody of 7-11) The OFC’s are assigned at a rate of 1-7 per 8 stores in a region and are a data and policy collection, management team communicating corporate policy to their assigned store managers and relaying market data from the store level to their district manager bosses to bring up in regional managerial meetings.
2. Approximately 4,900 USD or 3,500 Euro
3. A luxury Lexus LS sedan, branded initially in Japan as Toyota Celsior because the Toyota name is more widely known. Lexus is the luxury car division of Toyota.
4. Old superstition held that a charred newt had powers to create a love potion
5. Had to do some research on this. This is an older type of longsword predating the conventional katana many think of. It has a slightly greater length and curvature, is encased in a wooded case, and wrapped in leather to protect it from humidity while in storage, rather than a conventional sheath.
Fun fact: It got its name ‘demon blade’ because supposedly a warlord/emperor or ruler was having terrible nightmares. So, he commissioned a famous swordsmith for a blade that could kill this demon that was haunting him. He designed this type of new blade and told the important guy to keep it close and it would cut down the demon in his dreams. One way or another, he somehow sliced a lampstand in half with it, and when they looked inside the cut stand, they saw these little structures that looked like demon horns. This fantastical event gave it the name, demon sword.
6. Namahage are oni in Japanese folklore, and at the New Year’s festival on the Oga Peninsula of Akita Prefecture men dress up as them and go around admonishing small children to be good and not lazy.
7. Literally no idea why he mentions Article 2. This could be one of those annoying things lost in the BT TL of the first 10 volumes Article 9 makes sense
8. Old prefecture region of Japan that encompasses the location of his family home.
9. A Japanese Shojou Manga. Link to a pic of the shocked expression in the manga
10. The literal meaning of the idiom is left here to set up the boob joke. Apparently, this is a sumo term for when higher ranked wrestlers agree to train with lower ranked wrestlers, and they hold back in order to help them train. So, Aria is saying she’ll fight them, even though they are on a lower level and she looks down on them.
11. In Japan, the person who is ‘It’ in the game of tag is called ‘the oni’. Obvious double meaning here. Kinji like to pull out the puns in HSS it seems. Aria is furthering the joke.
Chapter 3: Ninjas Have Time to Spare
[START TEXT]
Aria was hospitalised in an Institute of Medicine in Shirokanedai in Minato ward– A large, 8-storey building.
Being surrounded by a thick grove of trees gave it an air of exclusivity.
I tried to pay a hospital visit… but when I got to the front desk, I couldn’t even get close after being told:「No Visitors」.
While pretending to shop in the first-floor convenience store, I checked the location of the elevators and the stairwells–
I can get up to the 7th floor patient rooms, but…
I didn’t go because I had a strange feeling.
From what I had heard, Aria’s first-year Amica, Akari Mamiya, who respects her to an extraordinary degree, had rushed to the medical institute before me…
After being refused at the front desk, she tried to angrily storm past, but was thrown out by some suited women. Both of them were Caucasian.
When they threw her out, Mamiya got a chance to snatch one of their lapel pins that was in the shape of the broken circle of the insignia of the Ministry of Foreign Affairs.
–So the Ministry of Foreign Affairs is involved.
It appears the VIP Miss Aria was being forced to rest. The women Mamiya had seen were likely military attaches. Without the cooperation of the Tokyo British embassy, even a Butei could not gain entrance.
At least–not by ordinary means
I will come again, but I will need to infiltrate.
That being the case, it would not be good if they knew my face.
Reasoning that out, I returned to Butei High…
I reached out to Riko and said『I need you to do something for me. Off the record.』, toward that end.
In the cafeteria after classes, I waited in the cool breeze, drinking coffee.
With a flutter, a leaf was carried past on the wind.
「–Hina Fuuma, at your service.」
My Amica appeared from somewhere on one knee with her hair in a ponytail.
A descendant of ninjas, I thought to ask my junior in LEZZAD for advice on how to infiltrate the hospital…
「I am pleased to serve the role of your teacher once more. I will devote myself entirely to this purpose–」
「Your greeting is acceptable, raise your head and stand.」
Although I cannot see inside because I was looking down, she was kneeling on a short skirt.
She wore something like a scarf that concealed her mouth and the bottom of her face… but from her features, I could tell that she will be a beautiful woman in the future. Like a girl from a shojou manga that could be described by the line「Huh…? You’re surprisingly cute!」, I was never more on guard.
「–My infiltration was foiled, the medical institute, especially the 7th floor upon which Lady Aria’s room is located was under close guard. A cohort of 4 Anglo and Japanese guards were permanently stationed there.」
Gathering her legs beneath her and standing, Fuuma delivered her report straight away.
「4, you say? If that’s the case, then covering each other’s blind spots, getting past them would be difficult.」
That being the case, it would be hard to sneak in. How then do I get in?
「There is another curious matter. Despite the fact that she must have regained consciousness, she has not reach out to anyone. Add the Ministry of Foreign Affairs’ curiously hasty intervention, it gives the impression of one under house arrest. Otherwise she would have reached out herself…」
…So, they must be kidnapping her.
The London Butei Bureau has wanted to take advantage of Aria’s criminal hunting skill from the start–maybe they want the『Holmes』name to strike fear into every criminal’s heart. Notwithstanding the disposition of Kanae Kanzaki’s trial, perhaps they though that having such an asset rooted in one place would be a national loss.
「As you say. If I might make the humble suggestion that you take no rash action. If the enemy is alerted, then they might strengthen the defences around Lady Aria by moving her to an even more impregnable location.」
「You’re right, but then what do I do?」
「Ninjas have time to spare where guards do not. In contrast to the infiltrators who can bide their time until the moment is right, guards must be constantly vigilant. Given enough time, even the best guards will become tired, creating an opening. When that happens–waiting hidden inside the hospital, you could take advantage of the opening.」
「An ambush strategy, Lurking,… huh? But if I stayed inside the hospital all the time, they would suspect something. Unless you are suggesting that I disguise myself as a doctor or something?」
「Nay. If I may be so bold, but your manner is too haphazard, and not at all in keeping with that of a doctor.」
That’s pretty rude, you know,
「Well then, what do you suggest?」
I asked and folded my arms, and taking on a pensive expression, Fuuma replied–
「–A convenience store clerk!」
…What…?
There was a Convenience 9 inside the first floor of the medical institute. It was patronised almost exclusively by patients and visitors.
According to Fuuma’s research, a male clerk had recently left, and they were looking to hire a part-time worker.
Fuuma’s plan was to use the convenience store as a hideout…
After hearing the plan in detail, it was clearly a good idea. On top of that, due to privacy protection laws, part-time workers’ personal information and details cannot be shared with anyone. My real identity would not be disclosed to the hospital.
That being the case–I will take Fuuma’s suggestion and work part-time at the convenience store, waiting for my chance. Then, whether Aria is hospitalised or being isolated, I will get in contact with her.
But Fuuma also had a warning for me…
When it comes to Aria, I tend to act rashly.
As her partner, it is only natural and to be expected, but in this case would be a grave mistake.
So I will have to try to keep my head.
The actual act of infiltration is child’s play, though.
I have already infiltrated an elite high school as a student and an IT company as the company president’s butler. This is only a convenience store worker. For an ordinary high school student, the job should be easy.
–And using the black rimmed glasses Fuuma had already obtained as a minimal disguise… I became the prefect image of a total loser. It fit me well. The glasses, that is.
A few days later, I headed toward the Convenience 9, alone…
Before entering, I thought to myself that the interior was a bit disorganised. The merchandise was displayed haphazardly, and it looked like the store hadn’t been cleaned thoroughly. The worker must have done just what was easily visible.
Upon telling them that I was here for an interview, I was taken into the back and seated in a folding chair…
So this is what it’s like on the other side of the register. This part of the store serves as a storage area.
This being my first time in the backroom of a convenience store, my interest was stirred–
The store manager across from me looked over my CV but seemed entirely disinterested.
With a long ovular face, flashy clothes, and younger than I would have expected, the manager Kowada said:
「Hmm… a guy, huh…」
Despite the fact that we were in a medical building, he was smoking as he grumbled to himself. He looked awfully bored.
But when a university age girl came in and said:「Boss~! The dragon-type is out~!」and showed him the mobile game on her screen, he smiled and said:「Oh! Just wait one moment」and showed a kinder expression.
「Tokyo Bu… High? Don’t know that one. So you’re a highschooler?」
「Y-yes.」
Thank goodness. I didn’t know how extensive the background check would be, so I wrote everything done correctly. However, it appears that he is going to ignore it.
Or, rather… is it actually that you can’t read the character ‘tei’ in Butei, Mr. Manager?
「Ya ever done any other part-time kind of work? Got any retail experience?」
「I’ve done security and investigative work… but no retail experience.」
「Huh. Well, you look strong enough… And the OFC has been nagging me lately…1」
The manager Kowada went on mixing in retail jargon–then he asked me which days and hours I was available during the week.
Because I intended to stake out the hospital, I told the manager that I could come in for the evening until midnight shift every day, and that appeared to make a good impression with him.
「Well then, come in for the shift tomorrow. You have to be here 10 minutes early, no exceptions, to take over the store, got it? While you’re in training you get three-quarter pay.」
Tamping out his cigarette, he hired me.
It’s a lucky thing the labour laws were revised to allow highschoolers to work part-time job until late at night.
***************************************************
Layering my borrowed uniform over my Butei High bulletproof uniform, I showed up to work at『Convenience 9』the next day–
First, the more senior part-time worker taught me the store phrases, how to label and price the merchandise, how to stock and display the merchandise, how to bag the customers’ purchases, and how to sweep and clean the store.
But then–
After showing me so many things on the first day in such a rapid succession… I found myself unable to remember them all. What’s more, I was only given one brief explanation of each of them. And because my normal memory
「Uh… the handheld terminal… is that what it’s called? Where is it stored?」
「Eh? I just told you.」
Just tell me!
That is what I want to say, but the manager left to goof off in the back and left my training to the female university student, so of course it suffered.
But if I get upset, I’ll miss even more from the inadequate explanation that I do get.
I can’t even learn if I don’t get even a poor explanation, though, so I said:
「W-well… could you tell me again…?」
I said in a strained, low voice.
「You’re a big boy aren’t you? Think about it for a minute!」
But…you say to think about it, but I’ve never done anything like this before, so I can’t even begin to guess.
Giving up, I began to look around the register area and open each of the drawers one by one.
In order to prevent the accidental discharge of a gun that might be in a drawer, I picked up the habit of starting to open a drawer slowly at Butei High– but the other part-timer yelled at me.
「Imbecile!」
Snatching the portable terminal up quickly, she slammed it into the charger that was hidden on one of the shelves.
「Sorry…」
I said in a barely audible voice.
Having shown me how to do several tasks, it seems like the female university student worker was going to take a break.
I heard the shrill cries of the other part-timers saying things like:
「Fun!」
「Super Fun!」
She was drawn into the managers popular back room.
That is to say… except for the manager, all the workers are beautiful female university students in heavy make-up, discounting their personalities.
From what I observed during the interview, this must be the manager’s thing… but, personally, it’s a bit inconvenient.
It might be a bit harder than I thought. Working in a convenience store, that is…
However, I did not have any time to waste–
I began putting things in order and straightening things inside the store, cleaning the floor while being mindful of the customers, paying attention and being at the register before them, collecting payment for their late-night magazine purchases… averting my eyes from the adult themed ones… arranging the display case–
I began to notice a pattern in the work, repeating the same tasks.
Whenever I was there, the other workers barely did any work.
Pushing all kinds of work onto me, they all played with the manager. It was like Nakasorachi forcing the sweeping of the CONNECT building onto me. It was like some kind of horrible sweatshop.
Now I understand. They treated the male part-timer before me this way too, and that was why he quit.
But I am the one who gave them the opening to exploit me. When I’m in front of them, I’m so scared of going into Hysteria Mode– I can’t even meet their eyes, and I start fumbling for words. Even with female customers, my strained and nervous behaviour is patently obvious.
As a result, they easily drew the conclusion that I was「a timid person」.
Because of that, I was isolated, and that is a good way to make someone do something.
Now, and later, making me do their work as well.
Things, however, would be absolutely hopeless if my Hysteria Mode acted up. My chronic condition causes all sorts of problems with interpersonal communication.
Unfortunately, there is no way to cure myself from Hysteria Mode.
If I get a normal job in the future…
It will be like this, won’t it?
I won’t be able to work freely in a normal job, will I…?
Dammit. Why are their tears in my eyes? I can’t cry at work! Especially not a customer service job!
I– can’t get fired.
I have to stay. I haven’t gotten my chance to find the opening in my enemy’s defences… to get to Aria.
Hang in there. Hang in there, Kinji.
I have to look objectively at putting up with this job. There isn’t a job that exists that doesn’t come with some kind of pain. There are things in the world that are harder than others.
But that should not be a discouragement. Right now, I have to hold onto this job…!
***************************************
My shift is strange in the fact that I am the only one that arrives early, and I am the only one that ends up staying late.
The「margin」between my shift and the next has been growing each day. Today, I worked more than 30 minutes of unpaid overtime.
What’s more, the female university student working the shift prior isn’t the kind of person to do a proper shift hand-over. It seemed that she had always pushed her work onto someone else and never did any of her own.
In such trying circumstances, I took advantage of Fuuma’s extensive experience working as a part-timer by calling her to ask questions… Until now, I’d always managed to get my work done.
Because of that, I had some free time to look around and ascertain a few facts–
This Convenience 9 is a franchise store, so it has a franchisee owner, and that owner is a doctor here in the medical institute. That owner is the manager Kowada’s father.
In short, the manager is the doctor’s dissipate son who, due to his personal connection, was left in charge of the store.
It makes sense that he’s a rich kid when you factor in his latest model iPhone and 500,000 Yen watch. 2
Despite that, the manager was a cheapskate, and he hasn’t raised my hourly rate after 80 hours spent in ‘training’.
He pretends that he’s just forgotten, but he might be skimming the extra off the top of my pay. The miser.
However, when his father, the physician, came in to visit, I took special care that he didn’t get a good look at my face, however…
When the owner came in, he entirely failed to check over the sales numbers, the presentation of the merchandise, or the general demeanour of the workers. Instead, he came in with a smiling face to discuss his recent purchase of a Celsior with his dissipate son.3
…You can’t help but think the best of your child, but in the end, this is going to make him a terrible person if you keep raising him this way.
Well, actually he is now, isn’t he…?
Whenever there was work that he didn’t want to do, or helping the customers was too much for him… he would completely stop working and retreat into the back and play UNO with the female university student workers.
「The last round was a penalty round! Now for your tickling punishment! Take that, and that, and that!」
He said things like that so casually… touching people so boldly. He’s got to be popular.
If he was a normal guy, they’d call it sexual harassment and wouldn’t find it so funny, but far from being angry the female students seemed to enjoy it.
Due to my own condition, I am not the slightest bit envious… but the manager must really be well-liked.
It was all because he was rich that they liked him.
They say that attractive men are not well-liked–but from my experience, I would beg to differ.
Old Kansai travelling storytellers used to tell the tales that without『charred newt』4 a man well-liked by women was:「1.Fashionable」, 「２. Handsome」, 「3. Rich」, 「4. Skilled in their craft」, 「5. Hardworking」, 「6. Pure of heart and mind」, 「7. Well spoken」, 「8. Strong」, 「9. Courageous」and「10. Of good reputation」
The manager had number 3 going for him. Number 10 was hardly my own personal strength, although in Hysteria Mode number 7 was spotlighted.
One of these that is going to send me straight to hell…
When I recall the things I said while hysterised, I end up making myself depressed–
「Oi! Tohyama! Go buy me some cigs! Ma Me Li’s! Same as last time!」
「O-okay!」
By using me as a gofer, it gives me the chance to scout the medical institute.
Because we are in a medical building, the convenience store doesn’t sell cigarettes, so a store outside has a monopoly on that. Usually it would be difficult to send a minor to buy such a thing, but the old, senile granny who runs the shop outside just sells them to anyone.
I got used to being a gofer for Ranbyou, so I rushed out as fast as I could and made sure I grabbed the (Ma)rlboro (Me)nthol (Li)ghts–
Using the bit of free time I gained by running, I scouted out the stairwell inside the institute that led to the upstairs treatment rooms.
It was 10 o’clock. All the outpatients had long since left. There was no chance of running into anyone.
But…making my way carefully up to the fourth floor, I suddenly stopped.
–Someone is there.
Somehow, the training I received at Butei High had trained my senses…
Due to some kind of acquired skill, I understood why. Above me, there were 4 professionals.
If I took another step, they would be sure to sense me.
I still haven’t gotten the chance to learn anything…
Reluctantly, I retreated, taking extreme care not to make any noise–then I returned to the convenience store.
「Took you long enough!」
The manager Kowada shouted, kicking my leg from the folding chair where he sat.
「…Sorry…」
Snatching the proffered cigarette package away from me, his attitude said:『Get back to work!』
Returning to the centre of the group of girls, he resumed talking about the snowboarding trip he was going to take.
This is Kowada’s little kingdom…
I’ve heard the expression ‘king of the hill’, but this is a real example.
In society, people like that get along pretty well. Pretty often too.
People like me with bad points are left out and get to be someone else’s gofer until they’re a grandfather.
If someone like me heads out into society and gets a normal job, will that be what it’s like?
I should learn from this depiction of the sad reality…
Adjusting the black-rimmed glasses I wore simply as a disguise, I went back to stocking the sake that was selling well due to the cold weather.
********************************************
For in-patients and hospital staff, the Convenience 9 was pretty much a 24-hour operation…
But as it wears on towards midnight, the number of customers taper off.
I’ve already dealt with deliveries, stocked the inventory, swept up, cooked the fired chicken and manjuu… so now there isn’t anything to be done.
However, a customer occasionally walks in, so I have to keep standing at the register without a break.
That is pretty hard. Mentally, that is.
It’s so slow…
It’s like the times where Aria shoots her guns, Shirayuki and Kaname brandish knives, and Riko lobs grenades–like when I hide in the bulletproof closet until the storm whipped up by those girls passes by–that is exactly the feeling I am getting right now.
But at least there I could use my mobile to browse a cinema news site or message with Mutou. I can’t do anything like that here in the workplace. Even though the female university student workers play on their mobiles when no customers are around.
When the manager and girls emerged from the backroom to get some hot water for their soup cups… The Convenience 9 could be said to be anything but quiet–
–Then an unlooked-for customer entered the store.
Their right hand was inside the pocket of the hoodie they wore, and they chewed some gum as they swaggered into the store… it was about half past 2 AM and she was a petite girl.
She was beautiful with egg-yolk coloured hair with large slitted eyes that drew attention to her. The roots of her dyed blonde hair showed her hair’s natural colouring, a rich caramel.
All at once the nickname given to her by the granny running the shop outside came to mind,『Ya-chan』. But I didn’t use it now–she was a habitual shoplifter.
「Welcome to the store!」
She was on the store’s blacklist, but a customer is a customer, so I turned toward her with a smile and polite greeting.
But she ignored me and pulled out something with a *Click!* It was a switchblade from her pocket, and the sound was the locking mechanism. From the sound, I could tell it was the same kind the Fujikibayashi bought online.
From the way it is hanging, it seems that her left arm is broken, and she has returned to her bad habit of theft… The female workers and manager then retreated to the backroom, giving the impression of『Let’s leave it to Tohyama』.
It’s not a big deal, it looks like they just don’t want to deal with a difficult customer.
But there was a moment when I could no longer hear them slurping ramen. They must have been taking still photos from the security cameras to serve as evidence of Ya-chan’s crime.
But Ya-chan is good. There is no way the cameras can catch the instant she swipes the goods. Incidentally, the thing she steals most often is plum flavoured chewing gum. That seems to be her favourite, and the damage only totals up to 600 Yen.
The store has a policy in the event of an escaping shoplifter– Throw an anti-theft colour ball to leave coloured paint on their clothes and shoes so they can’t play dumb when they are arrested. It was written in the store manual.
But even if the camera catches her this time… I’ll be the one who has to clean up the coloured paint, won’t I?
So I decided to handle it with what was written on the previous page of the manual. Casually walking around the store to deter shoplifting.
I followed her as she browsed the magazines, looked longingly at the ice cream in the walk-in freezers, and opened and shut the refrigerators full of canned coffee and juice… I always kept a fixed distance from her while completing some kind of work in the store.
She is small, so she is able to pick up on subtle cues–
「…Augh…! What is it with you! Wherever I go, you’re always in my way!」
Ya-chan suddenly grabbed me by the collar of my work uniform as I was mopping the floor.
She seems to be the kind of rascal that lashes out in anger because she can’t leave the hospital.
This is dangerous. But not for me, for you.
For example, the collars of the Butei High blazers come equipped with needles in case you are grabbed by the lapel. If someone grabs you by the collar, they’ll get stung. In order to prevent hurting others, I removed them.
「Oh… My apologies. Please excuse me.」
A forced smile on my face, I kowtowed to this younger person.
But rather than deescalate the situation, this seemed to make her even angrier.
「What’s with the attitude? Pickin’ a fight? Huh? Wanna have a go?」
This is really weird… you’ve got to be some kind of amateur, right? Isn’t it better to attack before the other guy gets the chance to respond? At least, that is what I think.
「My apologies…」
「You know who I am? My boyfriend’s in the Yakuza!」
Oh! What a coincidence, I know people in the Yakuza. I’m stalked by their former leader.
With that thought in mind, I didn’t give any kind of worried reaction.
She definitely said that just to try to rattle me. But seeing that she hadn’t provoked any kind of response, she grimaced in annoyance.
But… Weren’t you just intently reading the women’s magazine with the headline『No Experience? A must-see for all ages! What do you do to get a boyfriend?』You were even taking notes on you mobile. If you’re going to lie, at least make it more believable.
「You wanna go!? Call the cops! I’ll take ya, I’ll bury you! How ’bout that! Where’s all that big talk gonna go when you get trashed by a girl!? Ya get me!?」
Ya-chan spat out (what was at least intended to be) cutting words.
「Uhhh? I don’t really understand.」
I answered, genuinely confused.
「Eh!?」
Then with a scowl, she let go of my collar, almost as if she was tired of holding on to it. The she raised a thin eyebrow.
「Ya see this? I broke it in a fight.」
She then raised her left arm, proud of the injury for some reason…
From the bit of the abrasion scab that stuck out of the bandages, I could tell that she probably got it from riding a bicycle. From the way her arm hung, I could tell that it was probably due to a low-speed collision and green fracture.
By the way her fingers moved, it was probably mostly healed. If this were Butei High, she’s have already been long since deemed to be healed and returned to ASSAULT for grappling training. Normal people have a tendency to exaggerate.
「That must have been terrible. A fight, really… just terrible. You’re scary.」
I stumbled through this stupid ad-libbed response, but having seemingly bought my lie, Ya-chan snorted and smiled.
When she smiled though, she looked like a normal, innocent, cute middle schooler.
Caught slightly off-guard– *Pfft!*
Ya-chan spit the gum she had been chewing out onto the floor and left without buying anything.
「C-come again…!」
Ah, I’ll have to clean this.
Well, it’s better than coloured paint, I guess.
*************************************************
Afterwards, I was planning to take my break and eat the bento I had brought with me–
「What’s taking you so long eating! Get back on the register!」
It seemed that having me, a guy, take a break nearby irritated Kowada because it reduced the number of girls around him due to one of them having to stand in for me at the register, so he kicked over my bento.
Despite the fact that I had just seen how cowardly he had been when it came to the delinquent middleschooler, Ya-chan, he was full of bluster now.
I just dealt with Ya-chan and helped the store out. A little praise would be nice.
Speaking of my break, it’s an hour long, isn’t it? It hasn’t even been 15 minutes!
Thinking that–
「–Sorry. I’ll go back.」
I zipped back up the zipper on the Convenience 9 store uniform and went back to the shop floor.
The fried rice bento that I had bought from the store was now scattered across the floor.
「Clean that up!」
I didn’t even have to be told by the female university student.
I haven’t done anything else today.
But, at least here it is… safe and secure… Anti-social guys like me should probably be grateful for such workplaces.
I’ll get plenty of money next month from Beretta. I should be glad to be able to earn some money in the meanwhile. Even if pay is skimmed off the top.
*************************************
Afterwards, I took the chance to scope out the upper floors, but–
The pros from the English embassy and the Ministry of Foreign Affairs still didn’t present any kind of opening. They were on constant, 24-hour alert, ready to counter any potential intruders.
But ninjas have time to spare where guards do not…
In a protracted engagement, I hold the advantage. No matter how good the other side is, they will eventually give me an opening. I just need to use it when it appears. I can’t rush it; I have to bide my time.
I worked and waited for my chance–
Late the next night, Ya-chan came back to the store.
It looked like it was going to be the decisive match between Kinji Tohyama versus the middle school shoplifting girl. If you can scatter my cherry blossoms, then come and scatter them! I thought, but I only had a mop to hand as a weapon.
But then, after working very hard to gain my attention, she pushed merchandise off the shelf in the next aisle over from where I was mopping.
「Kyahaha! Oops–!」
Then she would sprint away laughing as she short skirt fluttered.
After that she made complaints like:
「Hey! You didn’t gimme my change!」
Among other things. She also spilled her Fanta on purpose, hit me with her empty drink cans as she pretended to toss them away, and all other kinds of bullying.
「You’re too slow at cleaning up. You should quit, quit! You really should!」
Ya-chan repeated these kinds of things over and over…
She couldn’t blow off her own steam by shoplifting while I was here, so that’s why she wants me to quit.
What’s more, even though she didn’t buy anything, I had to stand behind the register.
「I’m telling ya, it’s the best thing for society. A worthless person like you should just quit, ya know, for society.」
Caught between the register and the backroom, she unleashed a constant barrage of verbal insults.
There aren’t any other customers in the shop right now, so I guess it’s fine…
This kid seems like she is pretending to care more than she actually does about society. Like she’s some kind of ‘justice’.
But that’s also a symptom of chuunibyou-ism. It’s part of the process of human development.
「The ward mayor and the chief of police are friends of mine. I could have you fired, just like that!」
「…」
I put on a forced smile behind my black rimmed glasses, and…
…!…
When my eyes suddenly bulged in shock, Ya-chan must have thought:
『I finally got him scared!』
Then she gave a self-satisfied smirk…
What had really surprised me, however–was behind Ya-chan’s blonde dye job whose roots were beginning to show–
It was on the other side of the convenience store’s automatic doors.
I hoped I was seeing things.
I hoped it was some kind of optical illusion.
But the heartless door opened– and the girls were lit in the dazzling late-night fluorescent lights of the convenience store.
–Son of a bitch…I wasn’t mistaken…!
…Yen…!
Walking into the convenience store disguised as normal humans were 3 onis–
They’re here… but why!?
I know I had heard from Watson that they had arrived in Japan, but I never expected them to show up here so suddenly… this was something I did not expect.
Yen’s costume began with the black leather boots that thudded every time she took a step, leather trousers, and a leather jacket that covered her in black from head to toe. Her large chest– spread out into a tank top, and her hair was the same deep brown She was wearing sunglasses and a black leather hat skewed to the left that made her horns look like hat ornaments. Behind her… the wicked shape of her kanabou, Kongourokkaku, hung on her back, gleaming darkly with a grey light.
Carrying someone in her right arm wearing a frilly primary school uniform…
Habi…!
The tiny, superhuman oni. It’s been a while since the last time I saw her during the Bandire on Empty Island.
Next to Yen was one more person–It was the first time I had ever seen them, but the short horn poking out from between her forelocks told me that she was an oni–a slender, beautiful woman.
She wore a navy blue, knee-length skirt with a sailor suit uniforms, but the young female oni’s expression was more expressionless, harder and colder than Yen or Habi’s. At her waist, not only the grip, but also the sheath of her sword was coated in leather, and the whole thing up to the hilt was covered in leather wrappings, a kawatsutusmi–commonly known as a demon blade. 5
But why are they here…!?
At a complete loss for words, my eyes met Habi’s and she smiled back… her whole face suddenly broke into a grin.
「–Any naughty children around here? Ahahaha!」
The glass panes of the automatic doors quivered at the loud『namahage』-like shout.6
Jumping at the sound of the voice, Ya-chan finally noticed the existence of the oni behind her.
Being so clearly armed and giving off the impression that『they are not engaged in any kind of respectable business, much less being very human,』, Ya-chan’s black-rooted blonde dyed hair stood on end in fright…
Looking behind her, her legs went weak, and she slumped to sit on the floor.
Her back was pressed up against the counter,「G-get out」,she whispered in a quavering voice that failed along with her spirit, but–
She didn’t stir; all her strength having left her body.
Added to that, likely drawn out by Habi’s shout, the shop manager and the female university part-timers came out of the back room onto the sales floor.
Dammit! If the onis go crazy here… we’re done for. I’m only in my normal state, but even then, I’d have to try to protect everyone and get them out of here. That would be absolutely impossible.
Her eyes searching for something from behind her sunglasses, Yen lumbered heavily over toward me–
She moved to give the frozen Ya-chan a light kick to push her out of the way.
But– I realised something. Yen has no concept of her own strength. She might not mean to, but wherever she is stepping she is sending out seismic waves.
I don’t even think she is aware of it.
Yen, stop! A kick from you is fatal–this is only a normal girl.
「–!」
Without thinking, I vaulted over the register counter–grabbed the hood of Ya-chan’s hoodie and dragged her along.
Then as Ya-chan and I knocked into an endcap display rack, Yen’s foot sailed through the air, colliding with something.
–*Whoosh!*
Yen’s foot grazed the edge of the register counter, and the entire thing exploded into a million pieces, with stainless steel parts flying in all directions from the hole she had made.
Dammit! This woman is a bulldozer…!
Taking this extremely rash action despite the fact the I was not in Hysteria Mode, my heart rate and breathing rate spiked as I did my best to settle them.
Then, brushing off the Frisk mints that has rained down on us from the destroyed shelving–thanks to Ya-chan clinging to me in horror, I noticed that I was somewhat hysterised.
No offence, but she’s not exactly my type, so this has got to be The Suspension Bridge Effect, right?
When the heart rate of the human body increases, the brain mistakes the pounding in the chest to be due to the opposite sex.
Trembling and crying… Ya-chan howled in fear–My first priority is getting this young girl out of here, but I can’t predict what the onis will do next, and I don’t want to do the wrong thing.
I need to calm down and assess the situation for now.
As my hysterised brain had expected, upon seeing the anything-but-human kick that Yen delivered, the other employees in the shop quickly descended into a panicked state.
The female students shrieked and tried to escape the shop. But the other onis were still walking around, so they couldn’t escape, and they screamed again.
Stop screaming. If you scream, you are going to attract their attention…!
Dammit! Why… why can’t they just hide quietly…!?
The pandemonium inside the shop reached a fever pitch.
「B-boss! This is insane! Totally insane!」
「L-let go of me! You idiots!」
His brown hair ruffled, the female students clung to the manager, but he kicked his favourite girl to shake her off and try to escape himself. However, in doing so, it appeared that he sprained his own ankle, and he collapsed in the spot.
Entirely ignoring the human chaos around her…
Yen went over to where the sake was stocked and picked up the one-cup Ouzeki Sake. 1, 2, 3, no all of them.
Then she dumped them all into Habi’s lap as she still carried her in her arms. Then they picked out the sake and shouchuu. What’s more… I think they took all of it, leaving only the ill-named devil’s brew behind.
After that, Yen took all the whiskey and brandy without bothering to look through it and handed it over to Habi.
As for the other one, the slender oni headed to where the rice was stocked and pillaged all of the onigiri, but– Yen walked over, still carrying Habi, and grabbed the onigiri that was too high to reach… then I saw them all give a slight smile.
Thank goodness… they aren’t here to start a fight… at least that how it looks.
But they still came to this hospital specifically–
Maybe they are here for me, or Aria?
But they just crashed into my workplace unannounced, so I’m not exactly inclined to greet them with a smiling face.
「Why dost humans hoard such necessities–rather than distribute them to those who hath need of them? Doth they all suffer from the same neurosis?」
Looking around the shop, Yen tilted her head, asking me this question without so much as a greeting.
I ignored the rude questions…
Then taking off the glasses that had become twisted when I saved Ya-chan, I cast them aside to reveal my true face.
Then with the look of a warrior in my eyes, I replied:
「–Yo, Yen. You came to Japan the minute the Purification Barrier was down, right? Setsubun just ended. I wonder if those two things were pretty scary for you?」
I probed, adopting a slightly antagonistic position. Back in Dragon Harbour, I couldn’t pin down what her motives were–so I took this chance to hazard another guess.
「And you were so sweet. You could have chased me down and killed me now, but you didn’t.」
I said casually while moving to a place in the store from which I could protect everyone…
In response, Yen tilted her head again, then said:
「Tohyama. When thou takest honey from a beehive dost thou kill every single bee flying in the vicinity?」
She repeated the same line that she had spoken in the Netherlands in a husky voice.
「Rice and sake. We hath merely come to glean them. Those are the two products of humanity we hath use for. Of old times, we hath become addicted to those two articles. By producing rice and sake, thou humans doth serve us–thus we let thee live. Like a beekeeper keeps bees.」
To onis, we humans… really are like insects.
And now I learned one more thing. They are not here after me. Even with provocation, they didn’t come after me.
In that case… perhaps Aria?
The situation is getting more serious.
「Yen-nee-sama. That warrior. May I toy with him?」
The oni in the sailor suit beside Yen asked, indicating me.
「Do what thou wilt, Tsubaki.」
Yen replied, and the oni that she had called Tsubaki… all of a sudden unleashed a torrent of bloodlust.
The atmosphere– became sharp.
She was ready for an insta-kill manoeuvre. I felt as if a sword was held to my throat.
I can’t even guess what Tsubaki’s ability level was…
She called Yen her older sister, so she was somewhere less powerful than Yen. In that case, I’ll act under the assumption that she is just as strong.
That being that case–
If she acts of violently here, then innocent bystanders will be caught up in the fight. They’ll be ripped into a thousand shreds like paper.
That thought crossed my mind before Tsubaki had made her move, so, somewhat reluctantly:
「Outside the shop.」
I drew my Beretta from the waistband holder that I had kept it in all along beneath my Convenience 9 uniform.
I cocked the hammer as a threat, and at the sound of the *Click!*– the female university students saw my gun, and realising that is was real, they shrieked loudly once more.
Stunned speechless, the manager turned pale, and Ya-chan’s eyes bulged.
I’ll apologise to them for concealing my true character later.
「In cases like this, there is typically a duty to first fire a warning shot, but you do not adhere to Butei Law: Article 2.7 Or even Article 9 for that matter. For you, it’s like crushing an insect.」
Having just treated humans as insects, I turned that sentiment right back on her.
Inside the shop– the shelves and low ceiling will catch swords, and guns have an advantage.
By clearly displaying my gun, Tsubaki should know that she is at a disadvantage here.
That being the case, it should prevent the normal people here from being dragged into the situation.
「–Onis belong outside. Leave the shop.」
Standing up, I had already chambered one of the PIERCE bullets given to me last year by the Vatican.
Even if she manages to grab the bullet, even an oni’s hand will have to take some kind of damage.
Having taken aim easily at the oni’s forehead, I made my threat–
「Warrior of Musashi.8 If thou dost grovel like a cockroach, I will eat your heart quickly so thou wilt not suffer. Else, I will leave thee alive and merely consume thine limbs. Make thine choice.」
Even with a gun pointed at her… Tsubaki returned her own threat.
From her tone and composed manner, it is clear that she is not bluffing.
However, she has made no move to draw her blade.
She has merely stood there in a ready position.
This is unlike Yen on the Nao de China, and she seems entirely bent on an encounter…
…Is a bare-handed oni stronger than a human with a gun.
「Thou wilt not apologise? Very well, then I shall cut thee off first below the knees. It is an unfortunate thing. Thou won’t even be able to perceive it. They will be gone before thou hast had a chance to observe it.」
Saying such things, the dark sailor suited oni–
–*Whoosh!*–
–Vanished.
「!」
In that instant the world slowed around me.
*Bam!*
Then the cases of Frisk mints on the ground by my feet exploded and went flying. Those were footprints. In front of me– I saw space itself warp and a pale figure moving. It was Tsubaki. It wasn’t invisibility or teleportation.–It was super speed–!
The possibility of launching my own high-speed attack largely removed, I had to act based on the sensation of her fangs grazing my knee.
–Kikka–!
Pushing off with both my feet at a subsonic speed, I leapt into the air
As part of the motion, I ended upside down and shot out my left handblade with Ouka–
Then as Tsubaki slipped past– *Bang!*– I fired my Beretta with my right.
–*Tap!*–
Sticking the landing after she was clear, she appeared once more to the side of me,
In accordance with the Law of Inertia, her long dark hair and long skirt fluttered violently, and her large breasts regained their original position… In her hand, she does not hold a sword, but rather…
「Humph! I had time for a yawn before your bullet even reached me.」
She held my bullet pinched between her finger.
…Acting as if it were the most natural thing in the world. Even though I shot from point-blank range.
What’s more, it was a PIERCE bullet, so that probably means that she didn’t just grasp it tightly like Yen.
In grabbing my bullet, Tsubaki must have accelerated to the same speed as the bullet and grabbed it.
Even the Butei bullets were defeated…
But that might just be due to her high-speed ability, and one should not despair that all oni are capable of catching bullets.
My firing position was bad, anyway. This was the first time I’ve shot while somersaulting and upside down.
When Tsubaki moved, Yen also tracked her with her eyes, but then from her arms…
「Yen, Tsubaki. I wanna eat.」
Tugging on the chest of Yen’s leather jacket, Habi asked for some food.
「Habi-sama, please wait a moment. There is a detestable warrior here at the moment.」
Tsubaki responded, meaning me.
「Wanna eat. E~at! Eat, eat, eat, eat, e~~~at!!!」
She began to clamour loudly.
In a ridiculously loud voice. Really, this defies all common sense. It’s just like a child fussing.
Hurriedly removing her sunglasses, Yen responded:
「N-now, now…」
Uncharacteristically flustered, she began to soother Habi.
But…
「Wa~aaaaaugh! I hate you! Really hate you~!」
Seated in Yen’s arms, Habi began to squirm.
Paying no heed to the fact that she was wearing a skirt, she began to act like a spoiled child, flailing her arms and legs
Being told by Habi that she was『hated』, Yen…*Whoosh!*…
I could almost hear as the spirit was knocked out of her, and her eyes went white in shock like something out of『Glass Mask』9
「Oh, uh! Habi-sama. Please settle yourself. I have onigiri here.」
Tossing aside the bullet that she had caught and pinching up her long skirt, Tsubaki rushed over to Habi, completely neglecting me.
Then shortly after, she raised the basket full of onigiri that she had pilfered from the island rack and presented them to Habi.
Somehow… for them… Habi is a very important person.
From that, I get the impression that Yen, Tsubaki, and Habi are like a married couple with a child. Despite Yen being a woman.
Can’t you handle a crying child…?
Thanks to that, the battle was postponed…
After Habi gets her food, the chances of them attacking me again are not low.
Being of an entirely different species, Tsubaki and Yen’s thought patterns are hard to discern.
I won’t be able to stop the fight or get them to the respond to negotiations to make these onis in front of me to just leave.
They are part of DEEN– yet, despite that, they do not acknowledge the properly negotiated ceasefire.
What’s more, Habi holds the last piece of Aria’s karagane.
If I can get that back, Aria will not become the Scarlet Goddess.
Despite the fact that they seem hard to intimidate, I…
「The subordinates are the subordinates, and the master is the master.」
Changing tactics and trying to lure them outside, I sneered in contempt at the one they held in high regards as I retreated. Moving toward the exit.
Addressing the child they treasured proved to be exceptionally effective…
「Thou darest to make a mockery of our esteemed master? Such a thing shall not remain unanswered.」
Baring her fangs as if to fulfill her threat of eating my legs, the mother in this little family structure, Tsubaki, scowled back at me once more.
Sword shaking in her hand she took step after step towards me.
Good. I’ll be able to lure at least one of them outside.
Yen and Habi in the store will come out and help if I hurt Tsubaki.
Walking backwards, the automatic doors behind me opened, and Tsubaki– *Whoosh!* –disappeared again. Then in the next instant I heard:
「–Hold, Tsubaki~!」
Like a thunderbolt, that voice reverberated across the sales floor, and with a *Poof!* Tsubaki who had vanished reappeared back where she was originally.
Yen’s sharp rebuke caused Tsubaki’s body to stiffen, and I followed her eyes that continued to move to see what had caught her attention…
There was a whiff of a scent originating from behind me.
One that was entirely unforgettable–
The scent of gardenias.
「–Aria?」
I turned around and saw Aria there, wearing a Butei High sailor suit in an imposing stance.
****************************
****************************
–Seeing Aria, Yen checked Tsubaki. But why did her voice sound slightly panicked…?
Raising one eyebrow at my convenience store uniform and gun. Aria surveyed the scene.
「I had a premonition that when I came I’d find you here, Kinji.」
She opened in her anime-like voice.
Aria’s chest drew attention. Noise came from it, despite the fact that there was nothing there to make it.
「–What about the Ministry of Foreign Affairs’ surveillance?」
「I gave them the slip. They were only worried about watching things on the outside of the room, so it was easy enough to do from inside. What the heck are you doing?」
「Just a bit of part-time work.」
「Wha?」
Now we had become the comedic quarrelling couple.
「–Fou~nd you~!」
From Yen’s arms, Habi pointed and sang out as if she was the seeker in a game of hide-and-go-seek while pointing at Aria.
They were here for Aria like I expected.
Confirming that, I moved to protect Aria by placing her behind me, but–
The one in question, began lumbering forward to stand beside me.
Then she glared. Giving a demon-like glare to the oni inside the shop, she crossed here arms.
「You said that you are part of GRENEDA, you African onis? If your bored, I’ll lend you my chest.」10
How can you lend *anything* from your chest…?
That thought crossed my mind, but I clamped my mouth shut to prevent myself from saying it aloud.
「Lend your chest?」
Hearing a voice from behind us, Aria and I both swivelled our heads around–
At some point, Tsubaki had circled around.
「Do that, and you will end up bankrupt.」
Tsubaki said, thrusting her own breasts of considerable size forward, her words setting a flamethrower to dynamite.
Then Tsubaki slipped up to Aria and flipped up her blouse–
「–?」
Looking down, Aria’s twin tails stood straight out in shocked surprised, a-as her card suit patterned bra… was completely exposed– and it happened! Oi!
「…!」
Distracted entirely in the moment, I was reminded of what had happened during Aria’s dramatic rescue back in April. Her blouse had unfortunately gotten stuck on something, and rode up all the way,
*Fwish!* Smoothing down her blouse with both hands, Aria grabbed both of her guns.
「~~~~~!」
*Cr-creak!* *Creak!* *Cr-creak!*
Gripping her guns tightly, Aria’s entire face turned crimson in anger, from her chin, to her cheeks, to her forehead.
*Sproing!*
A D-shaped blood vessel literally popped out of her forehead, and I was seriously worried about the amount of blood rushing to her head…
「Still the same, Yen-nee-sama.」
「Hmm. It appears we were slightly premature.」
Tsubaki and Yen exchanged these words in front of us.
「Kay, we saw it! Yen, Tsubaki, let’s go! Scarlet Goddess will get here eventually. Can’t get her now!」
Still cradled in Yen’s arms, Habi gave orders in cryptic Japanese.
「Those hair ornaments become you, Aria.」
Tsubaki, outside the store said, and appeared ready to attack–
Inside the store Yen still, carrying Habi, shifted. She and Tsubaki were positioned to attack us in the entrance way from both sides.
I turned to face Yen, and, still enraged at Tsubaki, Aria faced her, pressing her back against mine.
「Back to back. Just like the Hong Kong tanker jacking, huh, Aria?」
「Kinji, I’m going to open a wind hole in them!」
Aria’s actions only strengthened my unexpected lapse into Hysteria Mode–then the moment I squared up with Yen, and Aria with Tsubaki–
Then, without prior arrangement and just like the time on the shinkansen jacking with Aria and Reki, we swapped places. Like a revolving door.
To me– that was what it felt like. Somewhat.
Even without any surprises, this fight is going to be close.
*Tap!* *Tap!*
I heard Yen barrelling like a rocket towards Aria behind me as I fired my modified Beretta at Tsubaki.
Without grabbing my bullets, Tsubaki dodged– instinctively cutting an arc toward my right outside my arm and drawing closer, as I expected her to do.
However, her steps were unhurried, like a girl skipping in a meadow.
Paying no heed to the rain of bullets, she moved in a care-free fashion.
Clicking her tongue as the slide on my gun locked back, Tsubaki approached from the right of the open shop door–
*Pa!**Pa!*
*Pa!* *Pa!* *Pa!* *Pa!* *Pa!*
Her hands cut through the air with small explosive sounds, pouring one attack on after another.
It looks like an unusual Tiger Fist Chinese Kempo style that employed the nails at the ends of her fingertips.
But for Tsubaki– a blow from an oni using this technique is easily distinguishable from a human employing the strategy to blind or scratch their opponent.
Her nails will tear flesh and her flat palm will break bones. It’s an edged hammer that inflicts damage wherever it happens to land. It causes more damage than my earlier fully automatic barrage.
I warded off her attacks with a series of Kikkas–wherever one of those hits landed, it would rip flesh away, and the placement of her attacks are random. They’re hard to read.
Checking the interior of the shop in my peripheral view, I saw the manager, female students, and Ya-chan…
They were struck speechless as the number of blows I traded with Tsubaki increased and the seemingly impossible explosive sounds were heard. I’d like to take a moment to give them a wink to reassure them, but I’m currently in a situation where even the slightest moment’s distraction could be fatal. I’m sorry, but I can’t relax my serious expression.
As for Aria–
She spun, cat-like, in a somersault and landed atop the shelf of crisps. Vaulting over the enormous Yen, she squatted on the register counter
Then, transforming into a human gun battery,
*Bang!* *Bang!* *Bang!* *Bang!* *Bang!* *Bang!*
Guarding the shop workers behind her, she unleashed a hail of .45ACP bullets.
「Oh!」
Still in Yen’s arms, Habi either grabbed or dodged the bullets at subsonic speed– but she was definitely moving back toward the automatic door.
In order to protect the civilians inside the store–Aria tried to drive the enemy outside. Despite her anger, as a Butei, it appeared that we both had the same thought.
As Aria fired at Yen, her firing line sent stray bullets straying close to Tsubaki and me.
Typically, such a thing is discouraged in order to prevent accidental friendly fire– but with Aria’s and my power of cooperation, such a thing is possible.
This gun prodigy was able to simultaneously avoid hitting her partner while also using her bullets to keep Tsubaki’s movements in check.
As all this was going on, with a small *Boing!*, Habi got down out of Yen’s arms–
Sake and onigiri held in the front part of her skirts, she skipped past Tsubaki and out the shop’s exit.
As she ran:
「Tsubaki. Right now, it’s just a normal girly, and if you keep playing with the Scarlet Goddess’ doll and the warrior Tohyama, something unexpected might happen. Your master commands you to go!」
Aria drew her swords after having exhausted her bullets, and Yen followed after her leaving the store.
Seeing that– Tsubaki also left, albeit grudgingly.
With Yen chasing after Habi, and Tsubaki following Yen, the onis left the hospital.
At the present moment, I’ve succeeded in protecting he civilians and Aria from the onis…
–Now we have to pursue them!
It was in a manner different than I expected, but I was finally reunited with Aria.
It appears that the expression of my happiness in the reunion is fated to be a smile in the midst of a battle. So now, I rushed over to Aria and gave a tight smile.
「Come on, Aria. I think you know but they have the critical piece of karagane, Let’s be the『oni』now.」
Reloading my gun with the magazine I had concealed in the cuffs of my trousers:
「If we do that, then which one of us is the oni?」11
A large grin split Aria’s face, revealing her canines. With a *Plop!*, she hopped down from the counter.
We’re back together: Holmes the 4th and her slave.
「Oh… Uh…?」
Hearing that sound, I turned and saw Kowada still trembling behind the register.
Having already seen me without my typical glasses, fighting an oni, and now with a gun in my hand–he was at a loss for words.
「Sorry, Boss. I forgot to return change to a customer, so I’ll go and give it to them. May I leave the store? Can we say that my work is for the day is done after I do that?」
「..Y-yeah… sure…」
Tears and nervous beads of sweat on his face, he bobbed his head, a normal, pitiful human being…
I was still an employee. And an employee must take care of their customers.
Not only the karagane on Empty Island, but also in this shop– far from simple theft and shoplifting, their crimes rise to the level of burglary and armed robbery.
Dripping with sweat, I righted the display rack for the canned sake and onigiri. This cannot be tolerated.
I burned with anger, just like my pink, dual wielding partner–
But, before leaving the shop, I addressed Ya-chan who looked up at me from where she was seated by the magazine rack:
「Onis come for children that are up too late.」
I left her with a line my grandmother used back at home.
*Bing-Bong!* *Bing-Bong!*…
『Thank-you very much!』
Was heard from the automatic doors–
Taking off my convenience store uniform, I resumed my Butei High uniform.
–Now then, for my oni customers.
I still owe you some repayment.
{END TEXT]
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1. OFC: Operation Field Counsellor, a special role within the structure of 7-11. (If you haven’t figured it out ‘Convenience 9 is a parody of 7-11) The OFC’s are assigned at a rate of 1-7 per 8 stores in a region and are a data and policy collection, management team communicating corporate policy to their assigned store managers and relaying market data from the store level to their district manager bosses to bring up in regional managerial meetings.
2. Approximately 4,900 USD or 3,500 Euro
3. A luxury Lexus LS sedan, branded initially in Japan as Toyota Celsior because the Toyota name is more widely known. Lexus is the luxury car division of Toyota.
4. Old superstition held that a charred newt had powers to create a love potion
5. Had to do some research on this. This is an older type of longsword predating the conventional katana many think of. It has a slightly greater length and curvature, is encased in a wooded case, and wrapped in leather to protect it from humidity while in storage, rather than a conventional sheath.
Fun fact: It got its name ‘demon blade’ because supposedly a warlord/emperor or ruler was having terrible nightmares. So, he commissioned a famous swordsmith for a blade that could kill this demon that was haunting him. He designed this type of new blade and told the important guy to keep it close and it would cut down the demon in his dreams. One way or another, he somehow sliced a lampstand in half with it, and when they looked inside the cut stand, they saw these little structures that looked like demon horns. This fantastical event gave it the name, demon sword.
6. Namahage are oni in Japanese folklore, and at the New Year’s festival on the Oga Peninsula of Akita Prefecture men dress up as them and go around admonishing small children to be good and not lazy.
7. Literally no idea why he mentions Article 2. This could be one of those annoying things lost in the BT TL of the first 10 volumes Article 9 makes sense
8. Old prefecture region of Japan that encompasses the location of his family home.
9. A Japanese Shojou Manga. Link to a pic of the shocked expression in the manga
10. The literal meaning of the idiom is left here to set up the boob joke. Apparently, this is a sumo term for when higher ranked wrestlers agree to train with lower ranked wrestlers, and they hold back in order to help them train. So, Aria is saying she’ll fight them, even though they are on a lower level and she looks down on them.
11. In Japan, the person who is ‘It’ in the game of tag is called ‘the oni’. Obvious double meaning here. Kinji like to pull out the puns in HSS it seems. Aria is furthering the joke.
