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Published at 18th of September 2016 03:50:46 AM

Chapter 38

Elisha’s Secret ⑨ – To Accept One’s Weakness


 

* Mars’s POV *

 

“… . . it’s something that can’t be helped even if you listened, right?”

 

Elisha gave a bitter smile after finishing her story .

That appearance was somewhat pitiful, and her expression has turned pale .

I wonder if it’s my insolence to wish to know the other party’s past .

 

“That’s not true . I have come to understand Elisha . But, is it something that Elisha wouldn’t want to remember?”

“No . I am the one who decide to talk about it… I have not forget about it as well . And that is the reason why I entered this institute after all . ”

“Is Elisha thinking of taking revenge on that man after becoming strong?”

“… . . if that man appears right in front of my eyes, I might consider it . ”

 

To possibly consider about it means that revenge is not the main objective for Elisha .

 

“Revenge isn’t your main aim, right?”

“Yep . I didn’t desire for power to take revenge . I wanted the power for the sake of protecting everyone . I desire for the power to protect those precious to me to the end . ”

 

The power for the sake of revenge .

If Elisha desires it, it’s possible that she might kill the opponent with magic without any hesitation .

But, Elisha has the part where she is scared of injuring the opponent .

The trigger might have been due to the murder of her parents .

And, due to the incident of her magic rampage which almost killed her opponent, that fear turned even more severe, resulting in the inability to use magic .

The reason why Elisha counldn’t use magic might have been from such a situation .

Well, this is just my own conjecture though .

 

“Are you able to kill your enemy to protect?”

“……eh?”

“You can’t kill, right?”

“… . . that’s something I am unsure about… . ”

 

Elisha’s expression was warped in anguish .

She most likely imagined about it .

The instant she was killed by someone .

 

“There are times when to protect someone, you have to kill another, no matter what . ”

“… . I can protect even without killing . ”

“If there is a difference in ability, then that’s also possible . But, if we think about a situation of a fight of equal, you will die without protecting anything again, you know?”

 

I declared it clearly .

But, the Elisha now can’t protect anything .

Her determination to be strong is settled .

She also has the aim to become strong so as to be able to protect .

But even so, if she doesn’t have the resolution to kill the opponent in the fight, the one who will die is herself .

The aim that she had set upon, the hard work that she put in, all will end in futility .

 


“If you wish to become strong, to protect, you must not be waver . Hold onto your resolution . ”

“Resolution… . ”

“If you can do that, Elisha will become even more stronger . ”

“… . I got it . I will remember that . ”

 

Elisha nodded seriously .

 

“Also――Nah, I guess that’s fine . ”

 

Though there is still actually one more thing I wanted to convey,

 

“If you have already brought it up, finish it to the end . ”

 

I shouldn’t have brought it up .

I was hesitating whether should I say it .

That is regarding the cursed words left behind to Elisha .

Curse――even though I say that, it’s not the sorcery type of curse .

It’s the curse left behind by the man who killed Elisha’s parents .

It’s that reason that Elisha is bent on the impression that she can’t become strong because she’s a female .

But, that’s also a mistake .

In reality, there’s no such thing as inability to become strong because one is a female .

If you compare the difference between the physique of a male and female to the quality of magic arts and magic, technical skill and combat techniques, it’s rather trivial .

If one is concerned with the physique difference, in the first place, humans can’t compared with the beast race like the werewolf .

That’s why there are also techniques in combat .

That’s what we call fighting strength with flexiblity . (TL: Direct TL is “Control Hard with Soft Skillfully . ” Well, basically, what you learn in Judo or even Taiji in that sense, i guess . )

That’s why it has nothing to do with gender .

Even so, Elisha feels that she became stronger from disguising as a male .

Even though if one continues to fake oneself, one cannot acquire true strength .

That’s because that is rejecting yourself and what are you facing .

Face yourself, and learn about yourself .

Your strengths

Your weaknesses .

Without knowing both, how are you going to get stronger?

To be weak means that there is a possibility to become strong .

Without knowing one’s weakness, you can’t become stronger .

Elisha’s feelings to become stronger is likely genuine .

All the more, I wish that she could face her weakness .

Not just power, but also the heart .

At the end of my worries――I decided to talk .

 

“It’s better that you stop disguising as a male if you wish to become stronger . You are a female . ”

 

Elisha’s eyes widened largely .

 

“… . Mars, you were listening to my story, right?”

 

It was a soft voice .


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But, there is definitely anger mixed within it .

 

“Ah, I heard it . That’s why I will say it . You are a female . ”

“I am… . a male . ”

 

I don’t think she will acknowledged that so easily, i guess .

She had been rejecting facing herself like this for many years .

By the curse of that man that killed her parents .

But, this curse that binds Elisha shall end .

 

“Then, let’s see you strip right here” (TL: Whoa, that’s direct!)

“u――”

 

Elisha’s silver eyes wavered .

Her body solidifies to the point you can see it from just one glance .

 

“You can’t do it, right?”

“… . . I can . ”

“You, who screamed after letting me see you naked?”

“Th, that was because it was so sudden then . ”

Why Elisha doesn’t want to recognize it .

That’s likely because she is trying to reject that she is a female .

She is running away but putting the everything as the fault of being a female .

 

“Sudden? As if a guy would scream from letting another guy see his naked self . ”

“If you are shocked, anyone would scream, right?”

“Then, it isn’t suddenly now, right?”

“… . ”

 

Elisha gradually put her hands on her clothes .

The finger that was trying to unbutton her clothes were shivering .

 

“Are you scared?”

“I am not scared… . !”

 

Even though she denied it, Elisha’s body is trembling .

 

“Female can’t do anything . They just get assaulted, violated and killed . ”

“u――”

 

Those are the words that are a curse to her .

 

“Are you afraid of being assaulted? Are you afraid of being violated? Are you afraid of being killed? Because you are a female, can’t you do anything?”

“… . . ”

 

Elisha doesn’t say a word .

I stood up to further intensify it .


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“Don’t lose to the words of such a person . Don’t think that just because you are a female, you can’t become strong . Don’t deceive yourself that because you are a female, you are weak . ”

 

Elisha’s eyes is swaying .

But she doesn’t avert her eyes .

I continued to speak .

 

“Face yourself”

 

To cut away the curse that binds Elisha .

 

“It has nothing to do with your gender . It’s just that you are weak that you couldn’t protect anyone . ”

 

Just declaring the truth,

 

“If you don’t accept this truth properly, you can’t become stronger . ”

“……u――……――”

 

Elisha’s expression that has warped to a mortifying one .

But, gradually, it seems to have reach a stage where you can’t control her emotions,

 

“I know… . . I know that!”

 

Her tears came flooding out .

 

“I know that because I was weak, Tou-sama and Kaa-sama are dead!”

“……”

“I already know long ago . About something like that . ”

 

Even then, there might be a reason why she has to deceive herself .

 

“… that’s why I wanted to become stronger . I desired for a strength enough to protect those precious to me this time . But, I know that I won’t become strong with my current self . At that time, I have no idea how to become stronger . That’s why I wanted a reason for my weakness . To become stronger, I wanted a reason for my weakness . At that time, I heard his words . Females are useless in the battlefield . As if cajolery, those words violated my heart . If I threw away my femininity, I thought I would become strong . ” (TL: Guess she might have went crazy if she doesn’t find a reason at that age of hers . )

 

The reason for her weakness is her femininity .

In that case, becoming a male will make her strong .

Just by thinking that, perhaps she might be able to regain her footing .

But

 

“At this rate, you will hit a wall, you know? Are you going to deceive yourself at that time? What are you going to put the blame on this time?”

“… . that’s……”

“Don’t avert your eyes away and face yourself . With each and every single weakness . When that happens, you will become even stronger than your current self . ”

 

As I said that, Elisha looked at me with a direct and tactlessly frank look .

 

“Will I be able to do it?”

“You can . It’s fine even if it’s gradual . It’s fine even if you go slowly . ”

“… . . I got it . ”


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Elisha firmly received my words .

 

“… . . Mars, right now, I decided on one thing . ”

 

She said something like that .

 

“What is it?”

“It’s still a secret . ”

“… . . I see . ”

 

I wonder if there will be a time when she reviewed that secret to me .

Still . Since she said that, she might tell me someday .

… . In that case, I shall wait for that time now .

 

“Mars, why don’t you go to the bath? Though I think the bath is still opened, it’s not like it will be opened for the whole day . ”

 

Until she said that, I totally forgot about it

Now that I think of it, I haven’t gotten into the bath yet .

 

“I see . Then I guess I will go for it . ”

 

Of course, I won’t invite her today .

 

“Sorry . I have a place I have to go for a bit . ”

“After this?”

“Yeah . It’s an important matter so I have to go right now . ”

 

……Important matter?

I wonder what’s that about?

 

“If it’s okay, can I go as well?”

“Nah . I am fine alone . I don’t want to rely on Mars too much . ”

“… . I see”

 

True .

If it’s something that can be done alone, it should be done alone .

 

“Then, be careful . ”

“Okay . I might be back late, so go ahead and sleep”

“Got it . ”

 

And then, Elisha left the room .

I thought as I was left alone in the room .

Now that I think of it, isn’t it better that I change my room?

Well… . . Let’s try discussing that with Elisha after she came back

Deciding that, I went towards the bath .

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