This year, I quietly celebrated my 5th birthday in the mansion as if I was holding my breath, and it happened a few weeks after.
Early in the morning at the beginning of spring, when it was still dim. I suddenly woke up before my wet nurse came to my room. My pyjamas were moist with unpleasant sweat, even though it was still cold. It felt disgusting, so I got out of bed.
… It wasn’t unusual for me to have nightmares when my father was alive. I even think that it’s my responsibility to remember those hellish days.
Because that was my sin.
But my heart was beating fast, as if it was going to jump out of my chest, and my breath was shallow, as if I had just finished running. I didn’t think I would be able to go back to sleep.
I wet a cloth in the water jug, wiped my face and body, took off my pyjamas, wore my tunic, covered myself with a dalmatic1) and tightened the slash. My body felt cold, even though I was wrapped in thick clothes, but this world didn’t have a method of warming your body up by taking a warm bath. I wore another coat and left the rest to my body temperature.
I stood in front of the mirror so that I could tie my waist-length hair, and the nightmare I’d just had flickered through my mind.
Father’s crazy smile reflected in the mirror. White skin, black hair, and dark red eyes that looked like trickling blood. My features were exactly the same as my father’s. My features looked more like his as the years passed by. Consequently, I also resembled the ‘Eliza’ from my previous world memories, which were still stuck in my mind.
My trivial memories of my daily life in that world have already faded, but the game and things related to this world haven’t faded at all. Even though I wanted so badly to forget the cause of my sin and wanted it to be erased.
A violent impulse which made me want to smash the mirror rose up in my throat. My heart beat loudly, I forgot to breathe, and the tips of my lips moved like several fish washed up on the shore. I felt the scorching hot and muddily, oppressive emotions being piled on with every passing day and month, slowly strangling me.
In the cold, a half-hearted sigh escaped from my mouth. I forcefully breathed and relaxed my whole body. My body felt heavy, like mud.
Cold sweat dripped down my cheeks, even though it was cold. I roughly wiped my face again and quickly tied up my hair. I pulled my hair, which was different from ‘Eliza’ and my father’s, and felt like my face had changed a little. I knew it wasn’t very noble-like, but I couldn’t change it anymore.
The feudal lord’s mansion was built on a small hill with a wheat field at the bottom and was called Golden Hill Mansion because the ears of wheat looked like a golden sea in harvest season.
After the previous feudal lord died, the inside of the mansion was empty, despite it being small, and it was also silent, since all the extra furniture and ornaments had been sold off and the personnel were kept to a minimum. The root of my father’s evil still remained, and it was still gloomy.
But my days of silence suddenly changed drastically since the other day.
A lot of soldiers entered and left the mansion, and my guardian, who was acting as the substitute feudal lord and usually secluded himself in the office, gave out instructions in the entrance hall. It was my first time seeing that scene. I carefully peeked out from the window in the courtyard and tried to understand what was going on. I didn’t go directly to the entrance hall because I’ve already had a dreadful experience there.
――― That day, after breakfast, bloodthirsty gazes greeted me when I went out to the entrance hall. Soldiers from the fief army dressed up in leather equipment were glaring at me with hatred. There were even people who put their hands on the handle of their swords.
A young man asked me with a roar, “How dare you show your face in front of us?”
Men in metal armour tilted their heads in suspicion, or surprise, and looked between the young man and me. I couldn’t say anything, and all I could do was look up at the young man.
“Eliza, go back to your room. Gunter, stand down. You’re in front of the feudal lord,” my guardian’s harsh voice echoed, and my feet finally retreated sluggishly. The soldiers of the army continued to look at me without averting their gaze until I closed the door.
It was my first time meeting the people of Kaldia since I took over the lordship. In short, it was my first time since I killed my family with poison.
They hated me and were furious enough to kill me.
I remembered those stern gazes from behind the door, and a feeling close to relief welled up in my heart. I felt oddly satisfied with my heavy emotions because they hated me properly.
I am someone who should be loathed, my sinful conscious whispered to me. ―――
“Eliza-sama, what are you doing?” A voice called out to me from behind, and my shoulders jumped. I turned around, and saw my tutor, Mareshan, looking at me in shock.
“… I’m sorry. I was really curious, so I was seeing what the soldiers were up to.”
“It seems you understand that what you are doing isn’t appropriate for a noble. You don’t have to apologise, if you’re curious, then you should proudly go and see what they are doing. You are the feudal lord, the master of this mansion.”
I couldn’t agree with her, nor shake my head, and turned away from Mareshan’s sincere gaze.
Indeed, I’m the feudal lord. In other words, the master of the soldiers is me. But why did I brazenly show my face in front of them again? I wasn’t planning on running away from their hatred, but I didn’t want to stir up their murderous intent either… My atonement towards them didn’t include being killed.
Mareshan sighed, pulled my hand and sat down on a nearby bench.
“Listen, Eliza-sama. If you think you’re still inexperienced and aren’t worthy of being the feudal lord, then leave everything to Earl Thelesia, and don’t pry into the work of adults.”
She’s absolutely right. I could only agree with her warning. There’s nothing I can do, even if I knew what was going on. I shouldn’t have sneaked around to get a peek.
“Of course, if it’s something you need to know, then Earl Thelesia will tell you exactly what is going on. I’m sure you know this well.”
I nodded again. Like she said, it was evident that he was faithful to his work from the way he acted in the last three years.
The old noble, Earl Thelesia, became my guardian and parent on behalf of my parents and acted as the feudal lord on behalf of the new feudal lord who couldn’t do her work because of her young age. He was equally strict on himself and was sincere to the citizens. He was completely opposite from my family, who had indulged themselves with pleasure and tormented the citizens.
The Earl supported me because I wasn’t at an age where I could rule, and when he had first came to this mansion from the royal capital, I had observed him in secret for a while, but I couldn’t find any dishonesty in the work he did. When I was four and had first started learning how to add and subtract, he even explained to me what he did for the reconstructions, and how he got money for it. After I’d turned five, he also gave me post-reports on things other than management in the fief.
“You can just ask him if you have any questions. He will answer all your questions without any deceit,” Mareshan said confidently. I didn’t nod to that.
The Earl certainly doesn’t lie, nor does he deceive. But I know that his words are difficult to understand for a baby and that he can’t explain them in a simpler way. At least, his explanations are not something to tell a child who was only a single-digit old.
Who except for him would talk about taxes to a child who hasn’t even learnt the law?
The Earl is someone who doesn’t take heed of who he is talking to and calmly talks about something they don’t understand at all. I barely comprehend his words because I have the annoying memories from my previous life. This world had a lot of differences from the world in my memory, and they were becoming vague, so he also says words I don’t understand. Mareshan volunteers to come with me, so she explains what the Earl says, but the Earl, himself, doesn’t give me that kind of consideration.
Mareshan sighed as if this conversation was over, probably because she had said what she had wanted to say. The door leading to the courtyard from the entrance opened at the same time, and Earl Thelesia came out.
“Eliza, I have to talk to you. Come to my office in the afternoon.”
“Yes, Earl Thelesia.”
He told me his frank request, confirmed that I understood, and went back through the door. We haven’t seen each other for three days, but that didn’t matter. Well, it’s a bit late to say this, since the Earl hadn’t gone out of his way to see me in the two years since he started acting as the substitute feudal lord.
I went to the office on the second floor accompanied by Mareshan and knocked on it three times. Then, Earl Thelesia’s voice responded from within, “Come in.” It was rare for him to call me to this office, and it has been six months since I’ve visited this room, but barely anything has changed. Both walls were covered with bookshelves that were nearly as high as the ceiling, and there were two simple bookcases. It was an office. The room smelled uniquely of paper, maybe because the bookshelves were cramped together, or because of the documents and books.
There were two things in this office which were different from what I remember. The big basket which was placed on the bookcase in front of the Earl, and a boy standing idly next to it.
“Kamil, this is Eliza.”
The Earl pointed at the basket, and the boy quietly dropped it in front of me like he was told to. A thick cloth was laid on top of the basket as if for nursing, and a mass of fluffy pink hair moved slightly from inside.
“Earl Thelesia, what is this…?”
“It’s a baby Draconis.”
“Draconis?”
I tilted my head suspiciously, and the Earl’s gaze moved to Mareshan. She explained, “It’s a monster that inhabits Amon Nohl.”
Simply put, monsters are creatures that have magic. This hasn’t been scientifically studied, so the truth is unknown, but monsters are said to be able to manipulate wind, call on storms, and start fires.
Draconis are dragons who look like wolves, and they can manipulate wind to fly in the sky. They are covered in silver scales, have wings which are proof of being a dragon, and long tails which look like a snake’s.
“For the past few days, I’ve mobilised the fief’s army and my private army because I received information that a draconis had strayed from their herd and descended Amon Nohl. It’s breeding season, so they get more violent, and the citizens could have gotten injured if it was a female with offspring.”
“Draconis usually act in groups called herds, and they have turfs. In other words, they have a territory where they hunt, but, sometimes, some individuals stray from that herd. Such individuals may descend down to human habitats looking for a new turf. They mainly prey on snakes, and they’re intelligent so they normally don’t attack beings that live in groups, but they do attack people who invade their turf, so we had to be vigilant.”
As usual, the Earl gave me his report while Mareshan explained things that I couldn’t understand. He began telling me things that were happening in the fief this spring, and I was already used to it because he summoned me a lot.
“After we discovered the nesting place of the strayed draconis, we continued observing, and placed soldiers who could deal with them if needed, but the draconis passed away while giving birth to four babies. She probably used a lot of time and effort wandering around the northern part of the fief without deciding on a turf. We took the remaining babies. Three were sent to Jugfena Fortress, which borders the eastern kingdom, and we decided to raise the last remaining baby.”
“Draconis are social creatures, so they’ve been used as mounts before. People have ceased breeding them because it wasn’t going well, but there are still documents on this.”
References
| 1. | ↑ | The dalmatic is a long, wide-sleeved tunic, which serves as a liturgical vestment in the Catholic church |
“Unlike horses, they show the most loyalty to the person who raises them. So, Eliza. Be his master and raise him.”
The conversation progressed rapidly, but I can generally understand what the Earl wants from me. He was saying that this baby draconis had just been born, and it will be useful if the baby is raised well, but he couldn’t get the soldiers to raise the baby, because of their traits, so I should raise him. I remembered the menacing gazes from the soldiers a few days ago. Indeed, he can’t leave the baby draconis to them when they acted that way. If he left the baby to them, then the beast will likely run wild and maul the feudal lord to death.
However, I don’t think I could easily raise a creature. It was impossible for me since I wasn’t even familiar with domestic animals such as sheep and horses.
“I understand… but, how do you raise a creature? I’m a novice who doesn’t even know how to take care of a horse, I don’t think I will be able to raise him alone.”
I told him my concern, and the Earl’s stern expression loosen to a gentle one. Has he finished giving his report? He answered in the same slightly soft tone as his expression.
“You don’t have to think about that. I’ve decided to give you a servant to act as your assistant. He’s someone I brought with me from the royal capital, but he’s apprenticing in the fief army right now. He comes from a merchant house. He’s used to dealing with animals, so you can ask him about how to take care of the draconis.”
The Earl pointed at the boy named Kamil. He watched the exchange between the Earl and me in confusion, but he must have known that he was going to become my servant, because he kneeled down without hesitation and lowered his head.
“My name is Kamil Novak, Feudal Lord.”
He’s probably passed that age where his voice cracks. I have never seen a person who has pearl-like skin, different from the Kaldia citizens who had skin as white as snow, soft light brown hair, and bright amber eyes, before and was simply curious. I haven’t seen someone close to me in age since I killed my siblings with my own hands.
“… I’m Eliza. I’ll be in your care.”
Kamil immediately raised his face when I asked him to and looked straight at me.
He slightly smiled. The perfect smile, which was obviously fake, was extremely impressive.
I couldn’t remain in the Earl’s office when I didn’t have any business here. I took Kamil and the baby draconis to the courtyard and bathed in the spring sunshine. I gave the baby draconis warm milk as it struggled in the basket. But I got tired afterwards and ended up sitting on the bench, probably because I wasn’t used to feeding a baby.
The draconis had just been born, so it didn’t cry and just stirred in the basket sometimes. Leaning against the bench, I listened to the sound of the wind blowing gently without doing anything and gazed at the pond across from the courtyard. I picked up the poisonous plant to kill my family in the pond between the forest, behind the mansion, and the paved courtyard. The gardener had already been executed at that time, so the dangerous plant grew wild, but now they were neatly arranged as part of the garden.
“Mm… Feudal Lord.”
After a while, the silence was too much for Kamil, so he called out to me. I looked towards him, and he had the same soft smile on his face.
“You don’t seem very well. Is something the matter?”
It was a caring voice, but I wasn’t used to people being overly polite, and it felt strange. The servants in the mansion have never spoken to me, and all the other adults only taught me, so they spoke more candidly.
“… No, nothing.”
I wondered for a second if I should answer, and eventually shook my head. I can’t honestly answer that I was thinking about when I poisoned my family even though I was asked if something is wrong.
Kamil tilted his head slightly. He pretended that he hadn’t heard my answer, and tried to read between the lines by observing me. It felt unpleasant to meet his gaze, which seemed like it had been fitted with high-purity amber, so I suddenly diverted my gaze onto the baby draconis.
“… I was just wondering if I can raise this draconis well.”
It was an excuse that I had suddenly came up with, but it wasn’t a bad lie, because it’s true that it took a lot of time and effort to take care of something for the first time.
“It’s okay. If it’s the Feudal Lord, then you can raise him well… But-.”
I felt Kamil’s smile darken after he’d said pleasant words that sounded harsh, and looked at him again.
“But if it is going to become a source of your anxiety, then why don’t we kill him?”
His fake gentle smile twitched and distorted. His smile hadn’t crumbled, but it couldn’t be called a smile.
I got goosebumps all over my body. Kamil’s eyes were clear and didn’t reflect any emotions, so I felt chilly.
… At the same time, I felt close to his dangerous imbalance. It was as if I had sensed the same corrupted, heavy emotion as my own from him, like a shallow beast, and I had unconsciously concluded that he was a being similar to me.
But…
“――― Isn’t it painful to take someone’s life because of your fears?”
I wonder if I suddenly blabbed those words out because I had remembered the moment when I killed my family. I looked strangely at Kamil as his expression crumbled in surprise.
“It’s painful for me, so much so that I even think it’s fine for me to die.”
On that day three years ago, when I served poisonous food to my family, I couldn’t bear letting people get killed one after another as if they were toys, so I killed my family to end those hellish days. But, at the same time, I was worried about my future. While ignoring my previous memories, I was afraid of the future of the game ‘Eliza’ in my memories. I was scared of becoming like my father, who toyed with people’s lives for pleasure. ――― I avoided being killed by my repeated sins and by people who hated me.
Even now, my heart is gouged out by it. Didn’t I just kill my family for my own self-protection? Things such as sins against the citizens and atonement are just naïve ways to deceive my dirty self, and my guilt has always been whispering at me.
… And, I smiled wryly at the me who was immediately captured by those sad and gloomy thoughts. If I had the opportunity to deny it, then I would get my memories changed.
Actually, I became obsessed with living after I killed my family. As I’m aware, I was thinking of ending the pain I witnessed from my family’s madness when I poisoned them rather than my own life. I was worried about the future, but I was more eager to die because of my bleak heart.
“I do not understand what you mean.”
Kamil deliberately uttered those words slowly. I nodded. Of course, I knew that people wouldn’t understand what I meant if they don’t know my background. I had only talked about things that wouldn’t let others guess my circumstances because I didn’t intend to reveal that information.
However, contrary to his words, Kamil’s expression calmed down. I felt relieved that his eyes were still shaken with confusion and relief. He felt more human than when his eyes were like glass balls.
“It’s fine. Just take it as a joke.”
With no intentions of continuing this talk, Kamil looked flustered. Say, would he feel awkward by the silence and try to talk to me?
“… Anyways, can’t you do anything about the stupidly polite way of speaking? It smothering to be spoken to that way all the time. We’ll be acquainted for a long time.”
I changed the topic.
I’m not going to pretend to be from the commoner faction, but I’m not a noble girl from another family, who came here to learn noble mannerism, so I wasn’t comfortable with a formal relationship. Moreover, I might gain unnecessary animosity from the fief soldiers if they were to hear this, because politeness was developed by nobles to distinguish their own social positions. It was also a somewhat uncomfortable sight to be served by a child.
“I am sorry… I am not used to using casual expressions.”
“If you can properly use the right expressions in public and in private, then you don’t have to be afraid of using it in normal conversation. Also, stop calling me feudal lord. It doesn’t feel nice… I also don’t intend on messing with the citizen’s feelings.”
The things my father did crossed through my mind every time someone calls me feudal lord. Kamil must have felt the disgust from the words I had added. He looked confused and then smiled a little. It looked closer to a wryly smile, but this was the most human he had looked until now.
“… Alright. Then, I’ll call you in another way.”
That was my first conversation with him… and perhaps, the most true and emotional exchanged we’ve ever had.
◊♦◊♦◊♦◊
After the commotion caused by the draconis, when the crescent moon was in the sky, the baby draconis, whom I decided to call Rashiok with the help of Mareshan, started to grow scales and began to slightly open his eyes. His nose twitched when he wanted milk, and he awkwardly rubbed against the cotton, but when he gained his eyesight, he began to turn his nose and Kamil, who assisted me in taking care of Rashiok, was really disappointed.
“He was cute when he moved awkwardly…”
“Isn’t that what growing is all about?”
“Everything is cute when they’re small, Tsar. Even though you’re small, you’re not cute at all; you must lack something…”
For some reason, he called me Tsar, and his respectful attitude from the first day completely changed, and he started acting casual. We spend most of the day together, so we may have become too frank with each other.
“Young ones can obtain love from those around them because they’re cute, it’s a type of defence mechanism. I’m protected by my social status and position, not by cuteness, so I learnt another type of behaviour.”
“That part of you isn’t cute at all, Tsar.”
Then, Kamil held his head and sighed. This had already become a regular habit of his, and I heard the maid burst into laughter from the corridor, which led to the courtyard. She thought our conversations were interesting, so she would listen to use from time to time and laughed in amusement. I wonder if she was taking a breather from work by doing this. I wasn’t trying to make people laugh, but if she finds it amusing, then I don’t mind if she listens from time to time.
This was one of the changes that had happened since Kamil came to Golden Hill Mansion. The maid always avoided me, and I have never heard her voice until now. The stagnated gloomy aura in the mansion faded away before I even realised. Of course, I didn’t feel bad. The servants who worked freely while occasionally laughing, instead of working in stifling silence, made me not remember when my father was alive.
Kamil heard the maid’s voice and glanced at me, but I ignored them both, and he smiled as if something was interesting. There wasn’t a trace of the warped smile and emotions he had shown me on the first day, and I wondered what had changed him in this short period, but I didn’t ask.
“If this is just like a clapping game, then I think Rashiok will be able to move around by himself by the next full moon.”
“‘A draconis who is born on the new moon, will open its eyes on the night of the full moon, run about and play during the crescent moon, and will leave its nest on the night of the third month.’ Rashiok was born around the time of the full moon, and when he opened his eyes matched the contents of the game.”
“I don’t really understand the documents that the Earl has collected, but I guess it’s alright to believe them.”
I listened to Kamil whisper in interest as I stared at Rashiok’s golden eyes.
The scales, which were beginning to grow on him, were bluish, and his small wings, which looked like bat wings, had a beautiful magenta gradient to them. Apparently, these colours darken as he grows. Both of these colours reminded me of the sky, so I gave him the name of the sun god that people used to be worshipped in this region.
So, this little creature will be able to move around by itself in less than ten days…? For someone like me, who didn’t have an affinity with babies, whether they be animals or humans, in my previous world, I found joy in watching his growth every day, but I also felt a bit lonely seeing his childlike innocence disappear day by day. I didn’t let it show, but I felt the same as Kamil.
As expected, Rashiok energetically jumped out of the basket ten days later, just like the game had stated. If he had no wings and scales, then he would look entirely like a cute puppy, and he was doted on by the servants of the mansion as he ran around everywhere.
As for me, who had to chase around after him, there was nothing more unpleasant than this. Not all the servants were those who Earl Thelesia brought with him from the royal capital; some were employed from Kaldia. I only visited certain places in the mansion so that I wouldn’t irritate them, but Rashiok didn’t care and ran everywhere in the mansion. I’ve already scared a few servants without meaning to.
However, Rashiok also ran around today, chasing the smell of people.
――― I can only say that it’s my bad luck that Rashiok ran towards where the soldiers were when Kamil wasn’t by my side today. Or, my guard wasn’t up enough.
A young man was patting small Rashiok’s head at the northern corner of the mansion. He had navy hair which was almost black, and looked as if he had just reached adulthood. His gentle smile warped into hatred as soon as he saw me.
“… You!!”
The young man suddenly stood up and shouted as if he was barking. Rashiok was surprised by this and quickly ran behind me.
‘You should quickly take Rashiok away without saying anything.’
My calm self whispered in my mind, but contrary to my will, my feet wouldn’t move at all as if they had been frozen. I heard my heart thump without being able to take my eyes away from the young man’s angry eyes.
Flee. Runaway. I thought, but my legs wouldn’t move.
The young man slowly approached me, grabbed my neck and lifted me up. My neck was restricted, and I couldn’t breathe. My legs floated from the ground, and my toes touched the ground. Rashiok yelped at my feet.
“You’re so easy-going. You just play with your pet, don’t you? What happened to your servant? Did they abandon you already?”
He shook my neck and the scene before my eyes flickered because of the lack of oxygen. I reflexively grabbed his arm, and he hit me with his free hand.
My throat made a hoarse sound as I tried to breathe. I struggled against the pain, but he didn’t move since he was a lot bigger than me. Little by little, I lost the will to struggle, and my body grew heavier. My hand slipped away from the young man’s.
“――― Stop, Igor.”
At that moment, he suddenly released me.
My body fell to the ground as if he had thrown me. My lips opened by themselves to take a breath, and I could feel the crunchy sand spread all over my mouth. I coughed violently. I could hear people arguing about something, but my ears were buzzing, and I couldn’t understand what they were talking about.
My coughing finally subsided, and I finally opened my eyes which had been closed. The young soldier, who looked like he regretted it, and a slightly older solder, who looked disappointed, looked down at me coldly. I recognise this man. He was the one who yelled, “How dare you show your face in front of us?” in the entrance hall. The Earl had called this soldier Gunter.
Rashiok licked my cheeks. Gunter glanced at us in disgust, pulled the young soldier who was still glaring at me, and left in silence.
A cold feeling ran down my face from the corner of my eyes. Rashiok was still licking my cheeks and yelping in worry.
“Sorry, Rashiok…. I’m okay.”
When I gently removed his small body and moved my weary body, I suddenly felt something move from above at the corner of my eyes. I suddenly looked up and saw a figure move away from the window on the second floor.
That window belonged to Earl Thelesia’s office. I clicked my tongue as soon as I realised this. My head was filled with regrets because I had easily moved away from the courtyard and stepped into the place where the soldiers trained.
Sure enough, I was immediately called to Earl Thelesia’s office. “What happened between you and the soldier?” he asked me frankly like always. I replied, “Nothing.”
“It was nothing. The soldier was just straightening my collar.”
“He wasn’t! Didn’t you fall to the ground as soon as he let you go, Eliza-sama?”
Bellway, the Earl’s secretary, objected with a frown. He had seen what the young soldier had done to me from the window on the second floor and insisted that the soldier be punished. He is diligent, like his stern Master, but stubborn, unlike the Earl. It would be easier if he would just agree with me when I said it was nothing.
“I fell by accident. Rashiok played around at my feet, so I lost my balance and fell over.”
“Why are you protecting someone who has harmed you? A commoner laid hands on you, a Viscount and our feudal lord. This isn’t something that can be overlooked.”
Bellway shook his head, stating that he couldn’t agree with me. Earl Thelesia didn’t intend to speak. He stared at me silently.
“No, Bellway. He didn’t do anything to me. I will not tolerate you doubting people unjustly… Or do you doubt my words?”
Of course, he had told the truth, but I declared this in a firm tone. I even included criticism, “I won’t allow you to object.”
Bellway, who was furious, suddenly changed and turned pale. Then, he shook his head, “No. That was not my intention.”
“Then, you were wrong, weren’t you?”
The Earl looked at me sternly when I asked for confirmation.
“Yes. Something like that didn’t happen.”
“Then, fine. You can go.”
I got permission to leave, bowed and left the room. I heard Bellway’s mutter as soon as I closed the door, but the Earl probably didn’t respond to him. I had something to do, so I quickly left.
“――― Kamil, do you know a soldier named Gunter?”
“Eh, why all of a sudden? Gunter-san?”
I visited Kamil, who was sorting documents in his room on the third floor, with Rashiok, and asked him that question straight away, and Kamil asked back, dumbfounded.
“What’s wrong? You’re covered in sand, Tsar.”
“Don’t worry about that, we’re talking about Gunter. Do you know where he is right now?”
He is my servant, but he’s also a squire in the army, so he might know. He couldn’t take his eyes away from Rashiok right now, so he was only a squire in name, so I wasn’t expecting much, but Kamil seemed curious as he nodded.
“… Well, I know. I won’t tell you if you don’t tell me what happened though.”
Kamil frowned as he brushed the sand off my hair and clothes. He could do this because he didn’t have luxury goods such as carpet in his room, but the maid who has to clean it might feel displeased. It might be better to clean this up a bit later.
“What happened?”
Kamil asked me again after a considerate amount of sand had been brushed off me. I felt like he was treating me like a child because he had bent over and looked me in the eyes, but if I complain now, then this conversation will derail, so I left it alone for now. If I don’t tell him what happened, then Kamil, who knew that the army soldiers hated me, won’t tell me where Gunter is.
“… I had a dispute with one of the soldiers. I chased after Rashiok and went out of the courtyard, and then… Unfortunately, Bellway saw us. I told the Earl that nothing happened, but I’m sure he’ll question Gunter because he was there. I want to keep his mouth shut before that happens.”
I reluctantly gave him a brief description of what had happened, and Kamil smiled wryly.
“I thought it was something like that, but Tsar, you’re a really good person.”
For some reason, I felt somewhat satisfied with the words he had said, but it was probably just my imagination.
“I’m a good person? I’m not though.”
If I really were a good person, then a soldier wouldn’t have grabbed me by the neck. Kamil stared at me in disagreement and sighed.
“Stubborn ~…”
“What?”
“And a blockhead.”
His one-sided words annoyed me, and I glared at him. His expression immediately softened and he smiled. He pulled my hand and left the room. I wanted to tell him something, but he guided me to where Gunter was in the end.
Gunter was in a small room next to the reception hall on the first floor.
I have never approached nor entered this room until now, but this seemed to be used as a temporary base for the army while their base was still in construction. It was used as a playroom and salon when my father was alive, but it was being renovated because no nobles visited anymore.
“What did you come here for, Fucking Brat?”
He spat out coldly as soon as I entered the door. He frowned unhappily, narrowed his eyes grimly, and the glint in his eyes was sharp.
“I’m here to give you the feudal lord’s order.”
“Tsar!?”
Kamil turned back at me in surprise when I shamelessly declared those words, without being able to read the situation, and at the same time, a thick file was thrown at the wall just next to me. The cover of the file was made of wood and was extremely heavy. It made a sound that indicated that I would have been injured had his aim been off.
The next second, my sight was covered by a dark shadow. Kamil had protected me with his back. I remembered that Rashiok had hidden behind my back just a while ago. I’ve already been alive for five years, but I’m on the same level as a beast who isn’t even a month old yet?
“Beat it! Don’t show your face in front of me again!”
Gunter looked angry and growled. He looked as if he could barely contain his rage and could take out his sword at any moment. He’s an awfully rational man, I nonchalantly observed him somewhere in my mind.
I pulled my face out from behind Kamil’s back and stated indifferently.
“This is an order. Don’t tell anyone about what really happened between me and the young man in the northern part of this mansion. He was fixing my collar, and I fell because my feet got tangled by the baby Draconis at my feet.”
The wooden plate that Gunter was going to throw dropped from his arm.
“… What?”
He frowned, and his threatening voice sounded as if he was crawling on the ground. His voice came from his stomach.
“I’m telling you to make a false statement if someone asks you to testify. And tell that soldier the same thing.”
“What’re you saying?”
He retorted reflexively. Gunter noticed what he had said after he’d uttered those words, and added, “What the fuck are you up to?”
Kamil answered instead of me.
“Tsar isn’t up to anything, Gunter-san.”
His voice shocked me. He looked down at me as if he was meditating between a child’s quarrel and said, “It’s your fault,” then he roughly messed my hair. I felt like my tied up hair was coming undone.
“Tsar told me, ‘I had a dispute with one of the soldiers. I chased after Rashiok and went out of the courtyard, and then… Unfortunately, Bellway saw us. I told the Earl that nothing happened, but I’m sure he’ll question Gunter because he was there. I want to keep his mouth shut before that happens.’ You could have just told him that, honestly you’re not cute at all.”
I was speechless. I knew that I would upset Gunter if I acted oppressively… But, I didn’t know any other way to speak. If I spoke formally to him, then he would be on the same level as the Earl and Mareshan.
“You know, Tsar. You can just talk to him like how you talk to me.”
“I see.”
I nodded while refusing in my mind, that’s impossible. I don’t know how much my conversation with Kamil differs from that of Gunter’s. I know that it’s quite different when I compare what I say to them, but that’s all I know.
“Are you going to let Igor off?”
Gunter whispered dubiously. He looked extremely puzzled.
“I’m not letting him off. Getting angry and hitting me… his actions are justified. At least, I think so. So…”
I couldn’t put it into words, so I explained why I was doing this was while being flustered. I’m the reason why they hate and resent me. The results of my actions caused their anger to narrow down on me.
“I see.”
Gunther spat out, and the conversation ended.
“Enough, I get it. I get it, so get out.”
His voice, which was trying to chase us out of the room, sounded somewhat similar to Kamil’s tone.
Translator: Blushy
Editor: SenjiQ
This year, I quietly celebrated my 5th birthday in the mansion as if I was holding my breath, and it happened a few weeks after.
Early in the morning at the beginning of spring, when it was still dim. I suddenly woke up before my wet nurse came to my room. My pyjamas were moist with unpleasant sweat, even though it was still cold. It felt disgusting, so I got out of bed.
… It wasn’t unusual for me to have nightmares when my father was alive. I even think that it’s my responsibility to remember those hellish days.
Because that was my sin.
But my heart was beating fast, as if it was going to jump out of my chest, and my breath was shallow, as if I had just finished running. I didn’t think I would be able to go back to sleep.
I wet a cloth in the water jug, wiped my face and body, took off my pyjamas, wore my tunic, covered myself with a dalmatic1) and tightened the slash. My body felt cold, even though I was wrapped in thick clothes, but this world didn’t have a method of warming your body up by taking a warm bath. I wore another coat and left the rest to my body temperature.
I stood in front of the mirror so that I could tie my waist-length hair, and the nightmare I’d just had flickered through my mind.
Father’s crazy smile reflected in the mirror. White skin, black hair, and dark red eyes that looked like trickling blood. My features were exactly the same as my father’s. My features looked more like his as the years passed by. Consequently, I also resembled the ‘Eliza’ from my previous world memories, which were still stuck in my mind.
My trivial memories of my daily life in that world have already faded, but the game and things related to this world haven’t faded at all. Even though I wanted so badly to forget the cause of my sin and wanted it to be erased.
A violent impulse which made me want to smash the mirror rose up in my throat. My heart beat loudly, I forgot to breathe, and the tips of my lips moved like several fish washed up on the shore. I felt the scorching hot and muddily, oppressive emotions being piled on with every passing day and month, slowly strangling me.
In the cold, a half-hearted sigh escaped from my mouth. I forcefully breathed and relaxed my whole body. My body felt heavy, like mud.
Cold sweat dripped down my cheeks, even though it was cold. I roughly wiped my face again and quickly tied up my hair. I pulled my hair, which was different from ‘Eliza’ and my father’s, and felt like my face had changed a little. I knew it wasn’t very noble-like, but I couldn’t change it anymore.
The feudal lord’s mansion was built on a small hill with a wheat field at the bottom and was called Golden Hill Mansion because the ears of wheat looked like a golden sea in harvest season.
After the previous feudal lord died, the inside of the mansion was empty, despite it being small, and it was also silent, since all the extra furniture and ornaments had been sold off and the personnel were kept to a minimum. The root of my father’s evil still remained, and it was still gloomy.
But my days of silence suddenly changed drastically since the other day.
A lot of soldiers entered and left the mansion, and my guardian, who was acting as the substitute feudal lord and usually secluded himself in the office, gave out instructions in the entrance hall. It was my first time seeing that scene. I carefully peeked out from the window in the courtyard and tried to understand what was going on. I didn’t go directly to the entrance hall because I’ve already had a dreadful experience there.
――― That day, after breakfast, bloodthirsty gazes greeted me when I went out to the entrance hall. Soldiers from the fief army dressed up in leather equipment were glaring at me with hatred. There were even people who put their hands on the handle of their swords.
A young man asked me with a roar, “How dare you show your face in front of us?”
Men in metal armour tilted their heads in suspicion, or surprise, and looked between the young man and me. I couldn’t say anything, and all I could do was look up at the young man.
“Eliza, go back to your room. Gunter, stand down. You’re in front of the feudal lord,” my guardian’s harsh voice echoed, and my feet finally retreated sluggishly. The soldiers of the army continued to look at me without averting their gaze until I closed the door.
It was my first time meeting the people of Kaldia since I took over the lordship. In short, it was my first time since I killed my family with poison.
They hated me and were furious enough to kill me.
I remembered those stern gazes from behind the door, and a feeling close to relief welled up in my heart. I felt oddly satisfied with my heavy emotions because they hated me properly.
I am someone who should be loathed, my sinful conscious whispered to me. ―――
“Eliza-sama, what are you doing?” A voice called out to me from behind, and my shoulders jumped. I turned around, and saw my tutor, Mareshan, looking at me in shock.
“… I’m sorry. I was really curious, so I was seeing what the soldiers were up to.”
“It seems you understand that what you are doing isn’t appropriate for a noble. You don’t have to apologise, if you’re curious, then you should proudly go and see what they are doing. You are the feudal lord, the master of this mansion.”
I couldn’t agree with her, nor shake my head, and turned away from Mareshan’s sincere gaze.
Indeed, I’m the feudal lord. In other words, the master of the soldiers is me. But why did I brazenly show my face in front of them again? I wasn’t planning on running away from their hatred, but I didn’t want to stir up their murderous intent either… My atonement towards them didn’t include being killed.
Mareshan sighed, pulled my hand and sat down on a nearby bench.
“Listen, Eliza-sama. If you think you’re still inexperienced and aren’t worthy of being the feudal lord, then leave everything to Earl Thelesia, and don’t pry into the work of adults.”
She’s absolutely right. I could only agree with her warning. There’s nothing I can do, even if I knew what was going on. I shouldn’t have sneaked around to get a peek.
“Of course, if it’s something you need to know, then Earl Thelesia will tell you exactly what is going on. I’m sure you know this well.”
I nodded again. Like she said, it was evident that he was faithful to his work from the way he acted in the last three years.
The old noble, Earl Thelesia, became my guardian and parent on behalf of my parents and acted as the feudal lord on behalf of the new feudal lord who couldn’t do her work because of her young age. He was equally strict on himself and was sincere to the citizens. He was completely opposite from my family, who had indulged themselves with pleasure and tormented the citizens.
The Earl supported me because I wasn’t at an age where I could rule, and when he had first came to this mansion from the royal capital, I had observed him in secret for a while, but I couldn’t find any dishonesty in the work he did. When I was four and had first started learning how to add and subtract, he even explained to me what he did for the reconstructions, and how he got money for it. After I’d turned five, he also gave me post-reports on things other than management in the fief.
“You can just ask him if you have any questions. He will answer all your questions without any deceit,” Mareshan said confidently. I didn’t nod to that.
The Earl certainly doesn’t lie, nor does he deceive. But I know that his words are difficult to understand for a baby and that he can’t explain them in a simpler way. At least, his explanations are not something to tell a child who was only a single-digit old.
Who except for him would talk about taxes to a child who hasn’t even learnt the law?
The Earl is someone who doesn’t take heed of who he is talking to and calmly talks about something they don’t understand at all. I barely comprehend his words because I have the annoying memories from my previous life. This world had a lot of differences from the world in my memory, and they were becoming vague, so he also says words I don’t understand. Mareshan volunteers to come with me, so she explains what the Earl says, but the Earl, himself, doesn’t give me that kind of consideration.
Mareshan sighed as if this conversation was over, probably because she had said what she had wanted to say. The door leading to the courtyard from the entrance opened at the same time, and Earl Thelesia came out.
“Eliza, I have to talk to you. Come to my office in the afternoon.”
“Yes, Earl Thelesia.”
He told me his frank request, confirmed that I understood, and went back through the door. We haven’t seen each other for three days, but that didn’t matter. Well, it’s a bit late to say this, since the Earl hadn’t gone out of his way to see me in the two years since he started acting as the substitute feudal lord.
I went to the office on the second floor accompanied by Mareshan and knocked on it three times. Then, Earl Thelesia’s voice responded from within, “Come in.” It was rare for him to call me to this office, and it has been six months since I’ve visited this room, but barely anything has changed. Both walls were covered with bookshelves that were nearly as high as the ceiling, and there were two simple bookcases. It was an office. The room smelled uniquely of paper, maybe because the bookshelves were cramped together, or because of the documents and books.
There were two things in this office which were different from what I remember. The big basket which was placed on the bookcase in front of the Earl, and a boy standing idly next to it.
“Kamil, this is Eliza.”
The Earl pointed at the basket, and the boy quietly dropped it in front of me like he was told to. A thick cloth was laid on top of the basket as if for nursing, and a mass of fluffy pink hair moved slightly from inside.
“Earl Thelesia, what is this…?”
“It’s a baby Draconis.”
“Draconis?”
I tilted my head suspiciously, and the Earl’s gaze moved to Mareshan. She explained, “It’s a monster that inhabits Amon Nohl.”
Simply put, monsters are creatures that have magic. This hasn’t been scientifically studied, so the truth is unknown, but monsters are said to be able to manipulate wind, call on storms, and start fires.
Draconis are dragons who look like wolves, and they can manipulate wind to fly in the sky. They are covered in silver scales, have wings which are proof of being a dragon, and long tails which look like a snake’s.
“For the past few days, I’ve mobilised the fief’s army and my private army because I received information that a draconis had strayed from their herd and descended Amon Nohl. It’s breeding season, so they get more violent, and the citizens could have gotten injured if it was a female with offspring.”
“Draconis usually act in groups called herds, and they have turfs. In other words, they have a territory where they hunt, but, sometimes, some individuals stray from that herd. Such individuals may descend down to human habitats looking for a new turf. They mainly prey on snakes, and they’re intelligent so they normally don’t attack beings that live in groups, but they do attack people who invade their turf, so we had to be vigilant.”
As usual, the Earl gave me his report while Mareshan explained things that I couldn’t understand. He began telling me things that were happening in the fief this spring, and I was already used to it because he summoned me a lot.
“After we discovered the nesting place of the strayed draconis, we continued observing, and placed soldiers who could deal with them if needed, but the draconis passed away while giving birth to four babies. She probably used a lot of time and effort wandering around the northern part of the fief without deciding on a turf. We took the remaining babies. Three were sent to Jugfena Fortress, which borders the eastern kingdom, and we decided to raise the last remaining baby.”
“Draconis are social creatures, so they’ve been used as mounts before. People have ceased breeding them because it wasn’t going well, but there are still documents on this.”
References
| 1. | ↑ | The dalmatic is a long, wide-sleeved tunic, which serves as a liturgical vestment in the Catholic church |
“Unlike horses, they show the most loyalty to the person who raises them. So, Eliza. Be his master and raise him.”
The conversation progressed rapidly, but I can generally understand what the Earl wants from me. He was saying that this baby draconis had just been born, and it will be useful if the baby is raised well, but he couldn’t get the soldiers to raise the baby, because of their traits, so I should raise him. I remembered the menacing gazes from the soldiers a few days ago. Indeed, he can’t leave the baby draconis to them when they acted that way. If he left the baby to them, then the beast will likely run wild and maul the feudal lord to death.
However, I don’t think I could easily raise a creature. It was impossible for me since I wasn’t even familiar with domestic animals such as sheep and horses.
“I understand… but, how do you raise a creature? I’m a novice who doesn’t even know how to take care of a horse, I don’t think I will be able to raise him alone.”
I told him my concern, and the Earl’s stern expression loosen to a gentle one. Has he finished giving his report? He answered in the same slightly soft tone as his expression.
“You don’t have to think about that. I’ve decided to give you a servant to act as your assistant. He’s someone I brought with me from the royal capital, but he’s apprenticing in the fief army right now. He comes from a merchant house. He’s used to dealing with animals, so you can ask him about how to take care of the draconis.”
The Earl pointed at the boy named Kamil. He watched the exchange between the Earl and me in confusion, but he must have known that he was going to become my servant, because he kneeled down without hesitation and lowered his head.
“My name is Kamil Novak, Feudal Lord.”
He’s probably passed that age where his voice cracks. I have never seen a person who has pearl-like skin, different from the Kaldia citizens who had skin as white as snow, soft light brown hair, and bright amber eyes, before and was simply curious. I haven’t seen someone close to me in age since I killed my siblings with my own hands.
“… I’m Eliza. I’ll be in your care.”
Kamil immediately raised his face when I asked him to and looked straight at me.
He slightly smiled. The perfect smile, which was obviously fake, was extremely impressive.
I couldn’t remain in the Earl’s office when I didn’t have any business here. I took Kamil and the baby draconis to the courtyard and bathed in the spring sunshine. I gave the baby draconis warm milk as it struggled in the basket. But I got tired afterwards and ended up sitting on the bench, probably because I wasn’t used to feeding a baby.
The draconis had just been born, so it didn’t cry and just stirred in the basket sometimes. Leaning against the bench, I listened to the sound of the wind blowing gently without doing anything and gazed at the pond across from the courtyard. I picked up the poisonous plant to kill my family in the pond between the forest, behind the mansion, and the paved courtyard. The gardener had already been executed at that time, so the dangerous plant grew wild, but now they were neatly arranged as part of the garden.
“Mm… Feudal Lord.”
After a while, the silence was too much for Kamil, so he called out to me. I looked towards him, and he had the same soft smile on his face.
“You don’t seem very well. Is something the matter?”
It was a caring voice, but I wasn’t used to people being overly polite, and it felt strange. The servants in the mansion have never spoken to me, and all the other adults only taught me, so they spoke more candidly.
“… No, nothing.”
I wondered for a second if I should answer, and eventually shook my head. I can’t honestly answer that I was thinking about when I poisoned my family even though I was asked if something is wrong.
Kamil tilted his head slightly. He pretended that he hadn’t heard my answer, and tried to read between the lines by observing me. It felt unpleasant to meet his gaze, which seemed like it had been fitted with high-purity amber, so I suddenly diverted my gaze onto the baby draconis.
“… I was just wondering if I can raise this draconis well.”
It was an excuse that I had suddenly came up with, but it wasn’t a bad lie, because it’s true that it took a lot of time and effort to take care of something for the first time.
“It’s okay. If it’s the Feudal Lord, then you can raise him well… But-.”
I felt Kamil’s smile darken after he’d said pleasant words that sounded harsh, and looked at him again.
“But if it is going to become a source of your anxiety, then why don’t we kill him?”
His fake gentle smile twitched and distorted. His smile hadn’t crumbled, but it couldn’t be called a smile.
I got goosebumps all over my body. Kamil’s eyes were clear and didn’t reflect any emotions, so I felt chilly.
… At the same time, I felt close to his dangerous imbalance. It was as if I had sensed the same corrupted, heavy emotion as my own from him, like a shallow beast, and I had unconsciously concluded that he was a being similar to me.
But…
“――― Isn’t it painful to take someone’s life because of your fears?”
I wonder if I suddenly blabbed those words out because I had remembered the moment when I killed my family. I looked strangely at Kamil as his expression crumbled in surprise.
“It’s painful for me, so much so that I even think it’s fine for me to die.”
On that day three years ago, when I served poisonous food to my family, I couldn’t bear letting people get killed one after another as if they were toys, so I killed my family to end those hellish days. But, at the same time, I was worried about my future. While ignoring my previous memories, I was afraid of the future of the game ‘Eliza’ in my memories. I was scared of becoming like my father, who toyed with people’s lives for pleasure. ――― I avoided being killed by my repeated sins and by people who hated me.
Even now, my heart is gouged out by it. Didn’t I just kill my family for my own self-protection? Things such as sins against the citizens and atonement are just naïve ways to deceive my dirty self, and my guilt has always been whispering at me.
… And, I smiled wryly at the me who was immediately captured by those sad and gloomy thoughts. If I had the opportunity to deny it, then I would get my memories changed.
Actually, I became obsessed with living after I killed my family. As I’m aware, I was thinking of ending the pain I witnessed from my family’s madness when I poisoned them rather than my own life. I was worried about the future, but I was more eager to die because of my bleak heart.
“I do not understand what you mean.”
Kamil deliberately uttered those words slowly. I nodded. Of course, I knew that people wouldn’t understand what I meant if they don’t know my background. I had only talked about things that wouldn’t let others guess my circumstances because I didn’t intend to reveal that information.
However, contrary to his words, Kamil’s expression calmed down. I felt relieved that his eyes were still shaken with confusion and relief. He felt more human than when his eyes were like glass balls.
“It’s fine. Just take it as a joke.”
With no intentions of continuing this talk, Kamil looked flustered. Say, would he feel awkward by the silence and try to talk to me?
“… Anyways, can’t you do anything about the stupidly polite way of speaking? It smothering to be spoken to that way all the time. We’ll be acquainted for a long time.”
I changed the topic.
I’m not going to pretend to be from the commoner faction, but I’m not a noble girl from another family, who came here to learn noble mannerism, so I wasn’t comfortable with a formal relationship. Moreover, I might gain unnecessary animosity from the fief soldiers if they were to hear this, because politeness was developed by nobles to distinguish their own social positions. It was also a somewhat uncomfortable sight to be served by a child.
“I am sorry… I am not used to using casual expressions.”
“If you can properly use the right expressions in public and in private, then you don’t have to be afraid of using it in normal conversation. Also, stop calling me feudal lord. It doesn’t feel nice… I also don’t intend on messing with the citizen’s feelings.”
The things my father did crossed through my mind every time someone calls me feudal lord. Kamil must have felt the disgust from the words I had added. He looked confused and then smiled a little. It looked closer to a wryly smile, but this was the most human he had looked until now.
“… Alright. Then, I’ll call you in another way.”
That was my first conversation with him… and perhaps, the most true and emotional exchanged we’ve ever had.
◊♦◊♦◊♦◊
After the commotion caused by the draconis, when the crescent moon was in the sky, the baby draconis, whom I decided to call Rashiok with the help of Mareshan, started to grow scales and began to slightly open his eyes. His nose twitched when he wanted milk, and he awkwardly rubbed against the cotton, but when he gained his eyesight, he began to turn his nose and Kamil, who assisted me in taking care of Rashiok, was really disappointed.
“He was cute when he moved awkwardly…”
“Isn’t that what growing is all about?”
“Everything is cute when they’re small, Tsar. Even though you’re small, you’re not cute at all; you must lack something…”
For some reason, he called me Tsar, and his respectful attitude from the first day completely changed, and he started acting casual. We spend most of the day together, so we may have become too frank with each other.
“Young ones can obtain love from those around them because they’re cute, it’s a type of defence mechanism. I’m protected by my social status and position, not by cuteness, so I learnt another type of behaviour.”
“That part of you isn’t cute at all, Tsar.”
Then, Kamil held his head and sighed. This had already become a regular habit of his, and I heard the maid burst into laughter from the corridor, which led to the courtyard. She thought our conversations were interesting, so she would listen to use from time to time and laughed in amusement. I wonder if she was taking a breather from work by doing this. I wasn’t trying to make people laugh, but if she finds it amusing, then I don’t mind if she listens from time to time.
This was one of the changes that had happened since Kamil came to Golden Hill Mansion. The maid always avoided me, and I have never heard her voice until now. The stagnated gloomy aura in the mansion faded away before I even realised. Of course, I didn’t feel bad. The servants who worked freely while occasionally laughing, instead of working in stifling silence, made me not remember when my father was alive.
Kamil heard the maid’s voice and glanced at me, but I ignored them both, and he smiled as if something was interesting. There wasn’t a trace of the warped smile and emotions he had shown me on the first day, and I wondered what had changed him in this short period, but I didn’t ask.
“If this is just like a clapping game, then I think Rashiok will be able to move around by himself by the next full moon.”
“‘A draconis who is born on the new moon, will open its eyes on the night of the full moon, run about and play during the crescent moon, and will leave its nest on the night of the third month.’ Rashiok was born around the time of the full moon, and when he opened his eyes matched the contents of the game.”
“I don’t really understand the documents that the Earl has collected, but I guess it’s alright to believe them.”
I listened to Kamil whisper in interest as I stared at Rashiok’s golden eyes.
The scales, which were beginning to grow on him, were bluish, and his small wings, which looked like bat wings, had a beautiful magenta gradient to them. Apparently, these colours darken as he grows. Both of these colours reminded me of the sky, so I gave him the name of the sun god that people used to be worshipped in this region.
So, this little creature will be able to move around by itself in less than ten days…? For someone like me, who didn’t have an affinity with babies, whether they be animals or humans, in my previous world, I found joy in watching his growth every day, but I also felt a bit lonely seeing his childlike innocence disappear day by day. I didn’t let it show, but I felt the same as Kamil.
As expected, Rashiok energetically jumped out of the basket ten days later, just like the game had stated. If he had no wings and scales, then he would look entirely like a cute puppy, and he was doted on by the servants of the mansion as he ran around everywhere.
As for me, who had to chase around after him, there was nothing more unpleasant than this. Not all the servants were those who Earl Thelesia brought with him from the royal capital; some were employed from Kaldia. I only visited certain places in the mansion so that I wouldn’t irritate them, but Rashiok didn’t care and ran everywhere in the mansion. I’ve already scared a few servants without meaning to.
However, Rashiok also ran around today, chasing the smell of people.
――― I can only say that it’s my bad luck that Rashiok ran towards where the soldiers were when Kamil wasn’t by my side today. Or, my guard wasn’t up enough.
A young man was patting small Rashiok’s head at the northern corner of the mansion. He had navy hair which was almost black, and looked as if he had just reached adulthood. His gentle smile warped into hatred as soon as he saw me.
“… You!!”
The young man suddenly stood up and shouted as if he was barking. Rashiok was surprised by this and quickly ran behind me.
‘You should quickly take Rashiok away without saying anything.’
My calm self whispered in my mind, but contrary to my will, my feet wouldn’t move at all as if they had been frozen. I heard my heart thump without being able to take my eyes away from the young man’s angry eyes.
Flee. Runaway. I thought, but my legs wouldn’t move.
The young man slowly approached me, grabbed my neck and lifted me up. My neck was restricted, and I couldn’t breathe. My legs floated from the ground, and my toes touched the ground. Rashiok yelped at my feet.
“You’re so easy-going. You just play with your pet, don’t you? What happened to your servant? Did they abandon you already?”
He shook my neck and the scene before my eyes flickered because of the lack of oxygen. I reflexively grabbed his arm, and he hit me with his free hand.
My throat made a hoarse sound as I tried to breathe. I struggled against the pain, but he didn’t move since he was a lot bigger than me. Little by little, I lost the will to struggle, and my body grew heavier. My hand slipped away from the young man’s.
“――― Stop, Igor.”
At that moment, he suddenly released me.
My body fell to the ground as if he had thrown me. My lips opened by themselves to take a breath, and I could feel the crunchy sand spread all over my mouth. I coughed violently. I could hear people arguing about something, but my ears were buzzing, and I couldn’t understand what they were talking about.
My coughing finally subsided, and I finally opened my eyes which had been closed. The young soldier, who looked like he regretted it, and a slightly older solder, who looked disappointed, looked down at me coldly. I recognise this man. He was the one who yelled, “How dare you show your face in front of us?” in the entrance hall. The Earl had called this soldier Gunter.
Rashiok licked my cheeks. Gunter glanced at us in disgust, pulled the young soldier who was still glaring at me, and left in silence.
A cold feeling ran down my face from the corner of my eyes. Rashiok was still licking my cheeks and yelping in worry.
“Sorry, Rashiok…. I’m okay.”
When I gently removed his small body and moved my weary body, I suddenly felt something move from above at the corner of my eyes. I suddenly looked up and saw a figure move away from the window on the second floor.
That window belonged to Earl Thelesia’s office. I clicked my tongue as soon as I realised this. My head was filled with regrets because I had easily moved away from the courtyard and stepped into the place where the soldiers trained.
Sure enough, I was immediately called to Earl Thelesia’s office. “What happened between you and the soldier?” he asked me frankly like always. I replied, “Nothing.”
“It was nothing. The soldier was just straightening my collar.”
“He wasn’t! Didn’t you fall to the ground as soon as he let you go, Eliza-sama?”
Bellway, the Earl’s secretary, objected with a frown. He had seen what the young soldier had done to me from the window on the second floor and insisted that the soldier be punished. He is diligent, like his stern Master, but stubborn, unlike the Earl. It would be easier if he would just agree with me when I said it was nothing.
“I fell by accident. Rashiok played around at my feet, so I lost my balance and fell over.”
“Why are you protecting someone who has harmed you? A commoner laid hands on you, a Viscount and our feudal lord. This isn’t something that can be overlooked.”
Bellway shook his head, stating that he couldn’t agree with me. Earl Thelesia didn’t intend to speak. He stared at me silently.
“No, Bellway. He didn’t do anything to me. I will not tolerate you doubting people unjustly… Or do you doubt my words?”
Of course, he had told the truth, but I declared this in a firm tone. I even included criticism, “I won’t allow you to object.”
Bellway, who was furious, suddenly changed and turned pale. Then, he shook his head, “No. That was not my intention.”
“Then, you were wrong, weren’t you?”
The Earl looked at me sternly when I asked for confirmation.
“Yes. Something like that didn’t happen.”
“Then, fine. You can go.”
I got permission to leave, bowed and left the room. I heard Bellway’s mutter as soon as I closed the door, but the Earl probably didn’t respond to him. I had something to do, so I quickly left.
“――― Kamil, do you know a soldier named Gunter?”
“Eh, why all of a sudden? Gunter-san?”
I visited Kamil, who was sorting documents in his room on the third floor, with Rashiok, and asked him that question straight away, and Kamil asked back, dumbfounded.
“What’s wrong? You’re covered in sand, Tsar.”
“Don’t worry about that, we’re talking about Gunter. Do you know where he is right now?”
He is my servant, but he’s also a squire in the army, so he might know. He couldn’t take his eyes away from Rashiok right now, so he was only a squire in name, so I wasn’t expecting much, but Kamil seemed curious as he nodded.
“… Well, I know. I won’t tell you if you don’t tell me what happened though.”
Kamil frowned as he brushed the sand off my hair and clothes. He could do this because he didn’t have luxury goods such as carpet in his room, but the maid who has to clean it might feel displeased. It might be better to clean this up a bit later.
“What happened?”
Kamil asked me again after a considerate amount of sand had been brushed off me. I felt like he was treating me like a child because he had bent over and looked me in the eyes, but if I complain now, then this conversation will derail, so I left it alone for now. If I don’t tell him what happened, then Kamil, who knew that the army soldiers hated me, won’t tell me where Gunter is.
“… I had a dispute with one of the soldiers. I chased after Rashiok and went out of the courtyard, and then… Unfortunately, Bellway saw us. I told the Earl that nothing happened, but I’m sure he’ll question Gunter because he was there. I want to keep his mouth shut before that happens.”
I reluctantly gave him a brief description of what had happened, and Kamil smiled wryly.
“I thought it was something like that, but Tsar, you’re a really good person.”
For some reason, I felt somewhat satisfied with the words he had said, but it was probably just my imagination.
“I’m a good person? I’m not though.”
If I really were a good person, then a soldier wouldn’t have grabbed me by the neck. Kamil stared at me in disagreement and sighed.
“Stubborn ~…”
“What?”
“And a blockhead.”
His one-sided words annoyed me, and I glared at him. His expression immediately softened and he smiled. He pulled my hand and left the room. I wanted to tell him something, but he guided me to where Gunter was in the end.
Gunter was in a small room next to the reception hall on the first floor.
I have never approached nor entered this room until now, but this seemed to be used as a temporary base for the army while their base was still in construction. It was used as a playroom and salon when my father was alive, but it was being renovated because no nobles visited anymore.
“What did you come here for, Fucking Brat?”
He spat out coldly as soon as I entered the door. He frowned unhappily, narrowed his eyes grimly, and the glint in his eyes was sharp.
“I’m here to give you the feudal lord’s order.”
“Tsar!?”
Kamil turned back at me in surprise when I shamelessly declared those words, without being able to read the situation, and at the same time, a thick file was thrown at the wall just next to me. The cover of the file was made of wood and was extremely heavy. It made a sound that indicated that I would have been injured had his aim been off.
The next second, my sight was covered by a dark shadow. Kamil had protected me with his back. I remembered that Rashiok had hidden behind my back just a while ago. I’ve already been alive for five years, but I’m on the same level as a beast who isn’t even a month old yet?
“Beat it! Don’t show your face in front of me again!”
Gunter looked angry and growled. He looked as if he could barely contain his rage and could take out his sword at any moment. He’s an awfully rational man, I nonchalantly observed him somewhere in my mind.
I pulled my face out from behind Kamil’s back and stated indifferently.
“This is an order. Don’t tell anyone about what really happened between me and the young man in the northern part of this mansion. He was fixing my collar, and I fell because my feet got tangled by the baby Draconis at my feet.”
The wooden plate that Gunter was going to throw dropped from his arm.
“… What?”
He frowned, and his threatening voice sounded as if he was crawling on the ground. His voice came from his stomach.
“I’m telling you to make a false statement if someone asks you to testify. And tell that soldier the same thing.”
“What’re you saying?”
He retorted reflexively. Gunter noticed what he had said after he’d uttered those words, and added, “What the fuck are you up to?”
Kamil answered instead of me.
“Tsar isn’t up to anything, Gunter-san.”
His voice shocked me. He looked down at me as if he was meditating between a child’s quarrel and said, “It’s your fault,” then he roughly messed my hair. I felt like my tied up hair was coming undone.
“Tsar told me, ‘I had a dispute with one of the soldiers. I chased after Rashiok and went out of the courtyard, and then… Unfortunately, Bellway saw us. I told the Earl that nothing happened, but I’m sure he’ll question Gunter because he was there. I want to keep his mouth shut before that happens.’ You could have just told him that, honestly you’re not cute at all.”
I was speechless. I knew that I would upset Gunter if I acted oppressively… But, I didn’t know any other way to speak. If I spoke formally to him, then he would be on the same level as the Earl and Mareshan.
“You know, Tsar. You can just talk to him like how you talk to me.”
“I see.”
I nodded while refusing in my mind, that’s impossible. I don’t know how much my conversation with Kamil differs from that of Gunter’s. I know that it’s quite different when I compare what I say to them, but that’s all I know.
“Are you going to let Igor off?”
Gunter whispered dubiously. He looked extremely puzzled.
“I’m not letting him off. Getting angry and hitting me… his actions are justified. At least, I think so. So…”
I couldn’t put it into words, so I explained why I was doing this was while being flustered. I’m the reason why they hate and resent me. The results of my actions caused their anger to narrow down on me.
“I see.”
Gunther spat out, and the conversation ended.
“Enough, I get it. I get it, so get out.”
His voice, which was trying to chase us out of the room, sounded somewhat similar to Kamil’s tone.
Translator: Blushy
Editor: SenjiQ
