Chapter 49
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When the violent torrent of the wind stopped deafening me, I wake up to find myself in a tent. Could it be more problems I have to face? It was difficult to move; like I just worked out for hours until my muscles had failed.
It was next to impossible to get up, and I struggled for a bit until Lilith entered the tent.
Lilith: "Steven?! You're finally awake!"
She drops herbs she had in her hand, throwing them to the side.
Steven: "I… what… Lilith?"
Lilith: "I can't believe you actually got up! I'm so glad!"
She jumps and hugs me, squeezing my pained body tightly.
Steven: "Ah… ah-ah-ah-ow!"
Lilith: "Oh, sorry!"
I can't tell which is what anymore!
I remember falling into the void. How did I get out? Unless I'm sure, I can't even trust my own instincts! I have to treat everyone with suspicion until I know for sure they're not out to get me.
"Void Lilith" is persistent from what I've experienced The only way I can tell is if I try doing something too quickly.
Steven: "Lilith, let's go back to the Academy."
Lilith: "Wha—so suddenly? Did something happen? I mean, we can, but, with you falling through the void I thought you'd want to at least get some rest. Though it makes sense if you want to leave, you're a Wight after all so the whole rest thing can be unnecessary."
Steven: "Let's go right now."
Lilith: "I would like I said, but it's the evening. Don't you want to wait until morning? You know it's dangerous to travel at night!"
Bingo.
Steven: "It really is you…"
I fall back into the floor and laughed weakly.
Lilith: "Me? What are you saying?"
Steven: "I don't feel good, that's what I'm saying…"
Lilith: "Wight or not, just get some rest. You really need it."
I'll relax once I'm sure that we're still in Esnia. For all I know, we may have actually ended up in Everhand! Maybe on another "undiscovered" continent. Not that I care anymore; I just don't want to leave Young Mi and the others behind.
Steven: "Where are we?"
Lilith: "Still in Esnia, somewhere on a beach. I know because I recognize the tree species. It's possible we could be on the archipelagos, but it's unlikely. This beach stretches on for miles."
Steven: "And you made this tent?"
Lilith: "Of course I did. Pretty spacious, don't you think?"
Steven: "It's dark."
She casts Candlelight and hangs the little ball at the very top of the tent.
The tent itself, well…
She wasn't kidding when she said it was spacious! There was plenty of legroom for both of us and tall enough to stand up in. As much as I like it, it just seems like overkill. A simple A-frame would've been more appropriate.
Steven: "It is; it's really impressive."
I'll still give credit where credit is due. I can't do something like this by myself.
Lilith laid down nearby. She was tired and looked relieved to be finally relaxing. Nearby, storm clouds were beginning to go over us and rain gradually started to fall on the tent to the point that it was all we could hear.
Lilith: "Huh, I guess those storm clouds moved faster than I anticipated. It'll be getting colder soon."
Steven: "I don't feel cold."
Lilith: "Oh! That's because I found oysters that were being cultivated! I used their pearls and channeled magic to keep the tent warm."
Steven: "Why would you use pearls? They're not very efficient."
Lilith: "You think you can picky? What gem would you have used, huh? We're lucky to even have found a pearl!"
I'm not too familiar with gems and how good they are. I know rubies are the best and pearls, while not the worst, aren't very useful outside a few select roles. Amber would be more effective and you could find it on a tree!
Steven: "Amber… you could've swiped some off a coniferous tree."
Lilith: "The only tree that can produce the kind of amber to hold my magic, let alone be better than a pearl, only comes from the Siren's Pine; you can't find that tree in Esnia."
Steven: "Where then?"
Lilith: "Duhui Mofa Xuexi. It's an old city south of Hei'an. They cultivate the last of the pines."
Demons really have funny ways of naming their settlements. I wonder how they can remember it all. It doesn't seem like it, but even their names are long! I found out through Rayna's memory spell that her full name is: Mei Ai Klein!
Steven: "Lilith, why do Demons complicate their names? Why can't they simply name their cities something like "Everhand" or "Siren?"
Lilith: "Don't be rude, it's our culture. How would you feel if I judge you by the length of your ears, round-ears?"
I wasn't trying to be rude; I'm genuinely curious!
Steven: "You're one to talk. The nobles are the ones that tend to judge by ear length."
Lilith: "That's why you can't get along with them, is it?"
Steven: "I wouldn't say that. There's this one girl, named Cynthia… she hates her status as a noble. It sounds dumb and typical, but she cares about people. She's usually going to get you in trouble, but her heart's in the right place. So, she's alright with me."
I'm not sure she would count. Kanna and Yuuna are definitely noble and I live with them! Well, they're Nekomata and they were outcasts from the rest of their family in Oki.
But still…
They hold a noble disposition. Honest. Generous. Honorable.
What I'm trying to say is that they're not conceited.
Lilith: "She sounds unique. Is there anyone else you know?"
Steven: "There's Kanna…"
Lilith: "I'm sure everyone already knows who she is."
Steven: "Well, it was mostly her and Cynthia I'd hang out with. Livia would join us on the evenings and weekends after she finishes her schoolwork."
Lilith: "Who's Livia?"
Steven: "Do you remember the girl you cursed in that one estate?"
She looks down and then away. I didn't need her to say anything, I knew that she remembers. Her lip quivered, trying to say something but she couldn't. Guilt was keeping her from doing so.
Lilith: "…oh…"
Steven: "I don't think she would hold a grudge against you. She seems like the type to forgive."
Lilith: "Even if I wanted to apologize, I can't go back to Everhand. I'm sure someone would recognize me."
Steven: "And I can't go back to Meinu."
Lilith: "How would you try to fix it?"
Steven: "We can't… once we fuck up it's something we'll be known for. It's easy to see the bad in something and gloss over the good."
Lilith: "It's never easy."
All this talk is making me feel down. I know we're better than what some might think.
Steven: "Yeah, let's just go to sleep."
Lilith moves around the tent, tying the flaps shut and making sure water wouldn't get in anywhere. When she was done, she sits down next to me and lets out a tired sigh.
Lilith: "Here, you can have your cardigan back."
Steven: "I'm fine, you can wear it."
Lilith: "You might think you're fine, but not everyone falls through the void and lives to tell the tale. In fact, I think you're the first one!"
Steven: "I'm sure we can share it then."
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Lilith: "What… can we?"
Her face slightly reddens.
Steven: "Sure. I don't mind."
If she gets sick, it would be more trouble to deal with and I'd feel bad too. It shouldn't be possible for me to get sick. I am a Wight, but even so, I don't feel any different than I usually do.
We got close together that our arms were touching under my cardigan. We were bundled up as if we were best friends out on a camping trip.
She didn't appear too uncomfortable being so close to me and instead, actually looked peaceful. She looked around the tent, trying to distract herself. Around the tent before she came my way and we make eye contact.
Lilith: "…I…"
It completely evaded me since, but when I first met her, she had these incredibly unique and beautiful liseran purple eyes.
Steven: "Liseran purple… I forgot your eyes are liseran purple—they're—beautiful."
Her face reddens and turns away.
Steven: "Are you alright?"
Lilith: "Yes, I just… panicked…"
She must not be used to receiving compliments. It's even more likely when you take her past into consideration.
Steven: "I'm sorry, I just blurted that out."
Lilith: "It's fine… really."
I'll believe her when she looks back my way.
Steven: "Right."
The weather outside worsened with time. An unrelenting storm and heavy winds were really pushing Lilith's tent but it was brushing it off as if it were nothing. More was to come and the distant thunder was just the cherry on top.
Lilith was unfazed; she was either used to this kind of weather or is very confident in her tent. It could be the latter, as I had hoped.
Lilith: "What was the void like? How did you get out?"
Steven: "I killed myself."
Lilith: "Wait… what?!"
She quickly sits up, dropping the cardigan on me, and her face goes from shock to anger almost as fast.
Steven: "Don't yell."
Lilith: "Wha—what do you mean you killed yourself?!"
Steven: "Yeah, exactly what it sounds like. When I was being chased, I jumped off the ramparts of a wall."
Lilith: "But why would you do something so extreme? Do you value your own life?"
Steven: "I do… I just…"
I could only describe it as hell. It might've actually been hell, and I didn't even know it!
Steven: "It was horrible just being there. I had to get out somehow… I'd probably do it again."
In an instant, a smack roars across my face. Lilith had just slapped me and I'm left confounded.
Lilith: "DON'T EVER THINK ABOUT DOING THAT AGAIN!"
She shouted at the top of her lungs.
Steven: "Li-lith..? I… I didn't have a choice!"
Lilith: "It doesn't matter! Killing yourself should never be your first option!"
I looked away out of fear of saying the wrong thing and escalating this further. She just doesn't know how horrible the void is…
Lilith: "Tell me you won't do it!"
Steven: "Alright… I…"
I became soft-spoken and pissed off Lilith even more. I saw the fire in her eyes and I knew she wanted to lash out on me. We were stuck together and I couldn't move, a horrible mix that can quickly spiral out of control.
Lilith: "I want to hear you say it!"
Steven: "I won't kill myself again!"
The tent quickly filled with a deafening silence. Not even the bad weather outside was enough to fill this void.
Lilith moves away from me across the tent and laid out on her side away from me. We didn't speak for a while and I figured she'll come back around in the morning. But hours go by and this heavy and guilt-filled feeling doesn't go away.
Steven: "Lilith?"
She doesn't respond but I could see her moving; shivering. My body was still weakened but I managed to crawl just enough to be by her side and cover her in the cardigan. She turns to me, half-asleep and still irritated.
Steven: "You're shivering."
Lilith: "Don't worry about me."
Steven: "Look…"
I need to set the record straight!
Steven: "I'm not a death-seeker or anything of the sort. In the void… I saw terrifying things. Nothing about that place was—hell."
Lilith: "Hell?"
Steven: "It was hell… I knew the risk of jumping off the ramparts, but I didn't just feel like something worse would've happened if I submitted, I also knew it. So please, stop being upset…"
She let go of her frown and sighs.
Lilith: "It's not that… it's the fact that you said you'd do it again."
Because I would!
I don't want to be there nor here, arguing. It's best if I keep my mouth shut about these things if people are going to be getting upset even though they don't have a reason to be.
No, maybe I'm being inconsiderate of others feelings?
Lilith: "You don't even know what to say."
Steven: "I'm sorry, Lilith… I didn't think you'd get hurt if I did die."
Lilith: "There are people that care about you. Did you forget?"
Steven: "No, I knew that. I just never thought about them; how they'd feel."
She eventually warms back up to me. It was a relief because I didn't want to deal with her anger any longer. When it was time to sleep, she decides to get close to me again and share the cardigan's warmth.
Lilith: "Don't be stupid next time."
Steven: "I won't…"
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When the violent torrent of the wind stopped deafening me, I wake up to find myself in a tent. Could it be more problems I have to face? It was difficult to move; like I just worked out for hours until my muscles had failed.
It was next to impossible to get up, and I struggled for a bit until Lilith entered the tent.
Lilith: "Steven?! You're finally awake!"
She drops herbs she had in her hand, throwing them to the side.
Steven: "I… what… Lilith?"
Lilith: "I can't believe you actually got up! I'm so glad!"
She jumps and hugs me, squeezing my pained body tightly.
Steven: "Ah… ah-ah-ah-ow!"
Lilith: "Oh, sorry!"
I can't tell which is what anymore!
I remember falling into the void. How did I get out? Unless I'm sure, I can't even trust my own instincts! I have to treat everyone with suspicion until I know for sure they're not out to get me.
"Void Lilith" is persistent from what I've experienced The only way I can tell is if I try doing something too quickly.
Steven: "Lilith, let's go back to the Academy."
Lilith: "Wha—so suddenly? Did something happen? I mean, we can, but, with you falling through the void I thought you'd want to at least get some rest. Though it makes sense if you want to leave, you're a Wight after all so the whole rest thing can be unnecessary."
Steven: "Let's go right now."
Lilith: "I would like I said, but it's the evening. Don't you want to wait until morning? You know it's dangerous to travel at night!"
Bingo.
Steven: "It really is you…"
I fall back into the floor and laughed weakly.
Lilith: "Me? What are you saying?"
Steven: "I don't feel good, that's what I'm saying…"
Lilith: "Wight or not, just get some rest. You really need it."
I'll relax once I'm sure that we're still in Esnia. For all I know, we may have actually ended up in Everhand! Maybe on another "undiscovered" continent. Not that I care anymore; I just don't want to leave Young Mi and the others behind.
Steven: "Where are we?"
Lilith: "Still in Esnia, somewhere on a beach. I know because I recognize the tree species. It's possible we could be on the archipelagos, but it's unlikely. This beach stretches on for miles."
Steven: "And you made this tent?"
Lilith: "Of course I did. Pretty spacious, don't you think?"
Steven: "It's dark."
She casts Candlelight and hangs the little ball at the very top of the tent.
The tent itself, well…
She wasn't kidding when she said it was spacious! There was plenty of legroom for both of us and tall enough to stand up in. As much as I like it, it just seems like overkill. A simple A-frame would've been more appropriate.
Steven: "It is; it's really impressive."
I'll still give credit where credit is due. I can't do something like this by myself.
Lilith laid down nearby. She was tired and looked relieved to be finally relaxing. Nearby, storm clouds were beginning to go over us and rain gradually started to fall on the tent to the point that it was all we could hear.
Lilith: "Huh, I guess those storm clouds moved faster than I anticipated. It'll be getting colder soon."
Steven: "I don't feel cold."
Lilith: "Oh! That's because I found oysters that were being cultivated! I used their pearls and channeled magic to keep the tent warm."
Steven: "Why would you use pearls? They're not very efficient."
Lilith: "You think you can picky? What gem would you have used, huh? We're lucky to even have found a pearl!"
I'm not too familiar with gems and how good they are. I know rubies are the best and pearls, while not the worst, aren't very useful outside a few select roles. Amber would be more effective and you could find it on a tree!
Steven: "Amber… you could've swiped some off a coniferous tree."
Lilith: "The only tree that can produce the kind of amber to hold my magic, let alone be better than a pearl, only comes from the Siren's Pine; you can't find that tree in Esnia."
Steven: "Where then?"
Lilith: "Duhui Mofa Xuexi. It's an old city south of Hei'an. They cultivate the last of the pines."
Demons really have funny ways of naming their settlements. I wonder how they can remember it all. It doesn't seem like it, but even their names are long! I found out through Rayna's memory spell that her full name is: Mei Ai Klein!
Steven: "Lilith, why do Demons complicate their names? Why can't they simply name their cities something like "Everhand" or "Siren?"
Lilith: "Don't be rude, it's our culture. How would you feel if I judge you by the length of your ears, round-ears?"
I wasn't trying to be rude; I'm genuinely curious!
Steven: "You're one to talk. The nobles are the ones that tend to judge by ear length."
Lilith: "That's why you can't get along with them, is it?"
Steven: "I wouldn't say that. There's this one girl, named Cynthia… she hates her status as a noble. It sounds dumb and typical, but she cares about people. She's usually going to get you in trouble, but her heart's in the right place. So, she's alright with me."
I'm not sure she would count. Kanna and Yuuna are definitely noble and I live with them! Well, they're Nekomata and they were outcasts from the rest of their family in Oki.
But still…
They hold a noble disposition. Honest. Generous. Honorable.
What I'm trying to say is that they're not conceited.
Lilith: "She sounds unique. Is there anyone else you know?"
Steven: "There's Kanna…"
Lilith: "I'm sure everyone already knows who she is."
Steven: "Well, it was mostly her and Cynthia I'd hang out with. Livia would join us on the evenings and weekends after she finishes her schoolwork."
Lilith: "Who's Livia?"
Steven: "Do you remember the girl you cursed in that one estate?"
She looks down and then away. I didn't need her to say anything, I knew that she remembers. Her lip quivered, trying to say something but she couldn't. Guilt was keeping her from doing so.
Lilith: "…oh…"
Steven: "I don't think she would hold a grudge against you. She seems like the type to forgive."
Lilith: "Even if I wanted to apologize, I can't go back to Everhand. I'm sure someone would recognize me."
Steven: "And I can't go back to Meinu."
Lilith: "How would you try to fix it?"
Steven: "We can't… once we fuck up it's something we'll be known for. It's easy to see the bad in something and gloss over the good."
Lilith: "It's never easy."
All this talk is making me feel down. I know we're better than what some might think.
Steven: "Yeah, let's just go to sleep."
Lilith moves around the tent, tying the flaps shut and making sure water wouldn't get in anywhere. When she was done, she sits down next to me and lets out a tired sigh.
Lilith: "Here, you can have your cardigan back."
Steven: "I'm fine, you can wear it."
Lilith: "You might think you're fine, but not everyone falls through the void and lives to tell the tale. In fact, I think you're the first one!"
Steven: "I'm sure we can share it then."
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Lilith: "What… can we?"
Her face slightly reddens.
Steven: "Sure. I don't mind."
If she gets sick, it would be more trouble to deal with and I'd feel bad too. It shouldn't be possible for me to get sick. I am a Wight, but even so, I don't feel any different than I usually do.
We got close together that our arms were touching under my cardigan. We were bundled up as if we were best friends out on a camping trip.
She didn't appear too uncomfortable being so close to me and instead, actually looked peaceful. She looked around the tent, trying to distract herself. Around the tent before she came my way and we make eye contact.
Lilith: "…I…"
It completely evaded me since, but when I first met her, she had these incredibly unique and beautiful liseran purple eyes.
Steven: "Liseran purple… I forgot your eyes are liseran purple—they're—beautiful."
Her face reddens and turns away.
Steven: "Are you alright?"
Lilith: "Yes, I just… panicked…"
She must not be used to receiving compliments. It's even more likely when you take her past into consideration.
Steven: "I'm sorry, I just blurted that out."
Lilith: "It's fine… really."
I'll believe her when she looks back my way.
Steven: "Right."
The weather outside worsened with time. An unrelenting storm and heavy winds were really pushing Lilith's tent but it was brushing it off as if it were nothing. More was to come and the distant thunder was just the cherry on top.
Lilith was unfazed; she was either used to this kind of weather or is very confident in her tent. It could be the latter, as I had hoped.
Lilith: "What was the void like? How did you get out?"
Steven: "I killed myself."
Lilith: "Wait… what?!"
She quickly sits up, dropping the cardigan on me, and her face goes from shock to anger almost as fast.
Steven: "Don't yell."
Lilith: "Wha—what do you mean you killed yourself?!"
Steven: "Yeah, exactly what it sounds like. When I was being chased, I jumped off the ramparts of a wall."
Lilith: "But why would you do something so extreme? Do you value your own life?"
Steven: "I do… I just…"
I could only describe it as hell. It might've actually been hell, and I didn't even know it!
Steven: "It was horrible just being there. I had to get out somehow… I'd probably do it again."
In an instant, a smack roars across my face. Lilith had just slapped me and I'm left confounded.
Lilith: "DON'T EVER THINK ABOUT DOING THAT AGAIN!"
She shouted at the top of her lungs.
Steven: "Li-lith..? I… I didn't have a choice!"
Lilith: "It doesn't matter! Killing yourself should never be your first option!"
I looked away out of fear of saying the wrong thing and escalating this further. She just doesn't know how horrible the void is…
Lilith: "Tell me you won't do it!"
Steven: "Alright… I…"
I became soft-spoken and pissed off Lilith even more. I saw the fire in her eyes and I knew she wanted to lash out on me. We were stuck together and I couldn't move, a horrible mix that can quickly spiral out of control.
Lilith: "I want to hear you say it!"
Steven: "I won't kill myself again!"
The tent quickly filled with a deafening silence. Not even the bad weather outside was enough to fill this void.
Lilith moves away from me across the tent and laid out on her side away from me. We didn't speak for a while and I figured she'll come back around in the morning. But hours go by and this heavy and guilt-filled feeling doesn't go away.
Steven: "Lilith?"
She doesn't respond but I could see her moving; shivering. My body was still weakened but I managed to crawl just enough to be by her side and cover her in the cardigan. She turns to me, half-asleep and still irritated.
Steven: "You're shivering."
Lilith: "Don't worry about me."
Steven: "Look…"
I need to set the record straight!
Steven: "I'm not a death-seeker or anything of the sort. In the void… I saw terrifying things. Nothing about that place was—hell."
Lilith: "Hell?"
Steven: "It was hell… I knew the risk of jumping off the ramparts, but I didn't just feel like something worse would've happened if I submitted, I also knew it. So please, stop being upset…"
She let go of her frown and sighs.
Lilith: "It's not that… it's the fact that you said you'd do it again."
Because I would!
I don't want to be there nor here, arguing. It's best if I keep my mouth shut about these things if people are going to be getting upset even though they don't have a reason to be.
No, maybe I'm being inconsiderate of others feelings?
Lilith: "You don't even know what to say."
Steven: "I'm sorry, Lilith… I didn't think you'd get hurt if I did die."
Lilith: "There are people that care about you. Did you forget?"
Steven: "No, I knew that. I just never thought about them; how they'd feel."
She eventually warms back up to me. It was a relief because I didn't want to deal with her anger any longer. When it was time to sleep, she decides to get close to me again and share the cardigan's warmth.
Lilith: "Don't be stupid next time."
Steven: "I won't…"
When the violent torrent of the wind stopped deafening me, I wake up to find myself in a tent. Could it be more problems I have to face? It was difficult to move; like I just worked out for hours until my muscles had failed.It was next to impossible to get up, and I struggled for a bit until Lilith entered the tent.Lilith: "Steven?! You're finally awake!"She drops herbs she had in her hand, throwing them to the side.Steven: "I what Lilith?"Lilith: "I can't believe you actually got up! I'm so glad!"She jumps and hugs me, squeezing my pained body tightly.Steven: "Ah ah-ah-ah-ow!"Lilith: "Oh, sorry!"I can't tell which is what anymore!I remember falling into the void. How did I get out? Unless I'm sure, I can't even trust my own instincts! I have to treat everyone with suspicion until I know for sure they're not out to get me."Void Lilith" is persistent from what I've experienced The only way I can tell is if I try doing something too quickly.Steven: "Lilith, let's go back to the Academy."Lilith: "Whaso suddenly? Did something happen? I mean, we can, but, with you falling through the void I thought you'd want to at least get some rest. Though it makes sense if you want to leave, you're a Wight after all so the whole rest thing can be unnecessary."Steven: "Let's go right now."Lilith: "I would like I said, but it's the evening. Don't you want to wait until morning? You know it's dangerous to travel at night!"Bingo.Steven: "It really is you"I fall back into the floor and laughed weakly.Lilith: "Me? What are you saying?"Steven: "I don't feel good, that's what I'm saying"Lilith: "Wight or not, just get some rest. You really need it."I'll relax once I'm sure that we're still in Esnia. For all I know, we may have actually ended up in Everhand! Maybe on another "undiscovered" continent. Not that I care anymore; I just don't want to leave Young Mi and the others behind.Steven: "Where are we?"Lilith: "Still in Esnia, somewhere on a beach. I know because I recognize the tree species. It's possible we could be on the archipelagos, but it's unlikely. This beach stretches on for miles."Steven: "And you made this tent?"Lilith: "Of course I did. Pretty spacious, don't you think?"Steven: "It's dark."She casts Candlelight and hangs the little ball at the very top of the tent.The tent itself, wellShe wasn't kidding when she said it was spacious! There was plenty of legroom for both of us and tall enough to stand up in. As much as I like it, it just seems like overkill. A simple A-frame would've been more appropriate.Steven: "It is; it's really impressive."I'll still give credit where credit is due. I can't do something like this by myself.Lilith laid down nearby. She was tired and looked relieved to be finally relaxing. Nearby, storm clouds were beginning to go over us and rain gradually started to fall on the tent to the point that it was all we could hear.Lilith: "Huh, I guess those storm clouds moved faster than I anticipated. It'll be getting colder soon."Steven: "I don't feel cold."Lilith: "Oh! That's because I found oysters that were being cultivated! I used their pearls and channeled magic to keep the tent warm."Steven: "Why would you use pearls? They're not very efficient."Lilith: "You think you can picky? What gem would you have used, huh? We're lucky to even have found a pearl!"I'm not too familiar with gems and how good they are. I know rubies are the best and pearls, while not the worst, aren't very useful outside a few select roles. Amber would be more effective and you could find it on a tree!Steven: "Amber you could've swiped some off a coniferous tree."Lilith: "The only tree that can produce the kind of amber to hold my magic, let alone be better than a pearl, only comes from the Siren's Pine; you can't find that tree in Esnia."Steven: "Where then?"Lilith: "Duhui Mofa Xuexi. It's an old city south of Hei'an. They cultivate the last of the pines."Demons really have funny ways of naming their settlements. I wonder how they can remember it all. It doesn't seem like it, but even their names are long! I found out through Rayna's memory spell that her full name is: Mei Ai Klein!Steven: "Lilith, why do Demons complicate their names? Why can't they simply name their cities something like "Everhand" or "Siren?"Lilith: "Don't be rude, it's our culture. How would you feel if I judge you by the length of your ears, round-ears?"I wasn't trying to be rude; I'm genuinely curious!Steven: "You're one to talk. The nobles are the ones that tend to judge by ear length."Lilith: "That's why you can't get along with them, is it?"Steven: "I wouldn't say that. There's this one girl, named Cynthia she hates her status as a noble. It sounds dumb and typical, but she cares about people. She's usually going to get you in trouble, but her heart's in the right place. So, she's alright with me."I'm not sure she would count. Kanna and Yuuna are definitely noble and I live with them! Well, they're Nekomata and they were outcasts from the rest of their family in Oki.But stillThey hold a noble disposition. Honest. Generous. Honorable.What I'm trying to say is that they're not conceited.Lilith: "She sounds unique. Is there anyone else you know?"Steven: "There's Kanna"Lilith: "I'm sure everyone already knows who she is."Steven: "Well, it was mostly her and Cynthia I'd hang out with. Livia would join us on the evenings and weekends after she finishes her schoolwork."Lilith: "Who's Livia?"Steven: "Do you remember the girl you cursed in that one estate?"She looks down and then away. I didn't need her to say anything, I knew that she remembers. Her lip quivered, trying to say something but she couldn't. Guilt was keeping her from doing so.Lilith: "oh"Steven: "I don't think she would hold a grudge against you. She seems like the type to forgive."Lilith: "Even if I wanted to apologize, I can't go back to Everhand. I'm sure someone would recognize me."Steven: "And I can't go back to Meinu."Lilith: "How would you try to fix it?"Steven: "We can't once we fuck up it's something we'll be known for. It's easy to see the bad in something and gloss over the good."Lilith: "It's never easy."All this talk is making me feel down. I know we're better than what some might think.Steven: "Yeah, let's just go to sleep."Lilith moves around the tent, tying the flaps shut and making sure water wouldn't get in anywhere. When she was done, she sits down next to me and lets out a tired sigh.Lilith: "Here, you can have your cardigan back."Steven: "I'm fine, you can wear it."Lilith: "You might think you're fine, but not everyone falls through the void and lives to tell the tale. In fact, I think you're the first one!"Steven: "I'm sure we can share it then." Find authorized novels in Webnovelfaster updates, better experiencePlease click www.webnovel.com for visiting. Lilith: "What can we?"Her face slightly reddens.Steven: "Sure. I don't mind."If she gets sick, it would be more trouble to deal with and I'd feel bad too. It shouldn't be possible for me to get sick. I am a Wight, but even so, I don't feel any different than I usually do.We got close together that our arms were touching under my cardigan. We were bundled up as if we were best friends out on a camping trip.She didn't appear too uncomfortable being so close to me and instead, actually looked peaceful. She looked around the tent, trying to distract herself. Around the tent before she came my way and we make eye contact.Lilith: "I"It completely evaded me since, but when I first met her, she had these incredibly unique and beautiful liseran purple eyes.Steven: "Liseran purple I forgot your eyes are liseran purplethey'rebeautiful."Her face reddens and turns away.Steven: "Are you alright?"Lilith: "Yes, I just panicked"She must not be used to receiving compliments. It's even more likely when you take her past into consideration.Steven: "I'm sorry, I just blurted that out."Lilith: "It's fine really."I'll believe her when she looks back my way.Steven: "Right."The weather outside worsened with time. An unrelenting storm and heavy winds were really pushing Lilith's tent but it was brushing it off as if it were nothing. More was to come and the distant thunder was just the cherry on top.Lilith was unfazed; she was either used to this kind of weather or is very confident in her tent. It could be the latter, as I had hoped.Lilith: "What was the void like? How did you get out?"Steven: "I killed myself."Lilith: "Wait what?!"She quickly sits up, dropping the cardigan on me, and her face goes from shock to anger almost as fast.Steven: "Don't yell."Lilith: "Whawhat do you mean you killed yourself?!"Steven: "Yeah, exactly what it sounds like. When I was being chased, I jumped off the ramparts of a wall."Lilith: "But why would you do something so extreme? Do you value your own life?"Steven: "I do I just"I could only describe it as hell. It might've actually been hell, and I didn't even know it!Steven: "It was horrible just being there. I had to get out somehow I'd probably do it again."In an instant, a smack roars across my face. Lilith had just slapped me and I'm left confounded.Lilith: "DON'T EVER THINK ABOUT DOING THAT AGAIN!"She shouted at the top of her lungs.Steven: "Li-lith..? I I didn't have a choice!"Lilith: "It doesn't matter! Killing yourself should never be your first option!"I looked away out of fear of saying the wrong thing and escalating this further. She just doesn't know how horrible the void isLilith: "Tell me you won't do it!"Steven: "Alright I"I became soft-spoken and pissed off Lilith even more. I saw the fire in her eyes and I knew she wanted to lash out on me. We were stuck together and I couldn't move, a horrible mix that can quickly spiral out of control.Lilith: "I want to hear you say it!"Steven: "I won't kill myself again!"The tent quickly filled with a deafening silence. Not even the bad weather outside was enough to fill this void.Lilith moves away from me across the tent and laid out on her side away from me. We didn't speak for a while and I figured she'll come back around in the morning. But hours go by and this heavy and guilt-filled feeling doesn't go away.Steven: "Lilith?"She doesn't respond but I could see her moving; shivering. My body was still weakened but I managed to crawl just enough to be by her side and cover her in the cardigan. She turns to me, half-asleep and still irritated.Steven: "You're shivering."Lilith: "Don't worry about me."Steven: "Look"I need to set the record straight!Steven: "I'm not a death-seeker or anything of the sort. In the void I saw terrifying things. Nothing about that place washell."Lilith: "Hell?"Steven: "It was hell I knew the risk of jumping off the ramparts, but I didn't just feel like something worse would've happened if I submitted, I also knew it. So please, stop being upset"She let go of her frown and sighs.Lilith: "It's not that it's the fact that you said you'd do it again."Because I would!I don't want to be there nor here, arguing. It's best if I keep my mouth shut about these things if people are going to be getting upset even though they don't have a reason to be.No, maybe I'm being inconsiderate of others feelings?Lilith: "You don't even know what to say."Steven: "I'm sorry, Lilith I didn't think you'd get hurt if I did die."Lilith: "There are people that care about you. Did you forget?"Steven: "No, I knew that. I just never thought about them; how they'd feel."She eventually warms back up to me. It was a relief because I didn't want to deal with her anger any longer. When it was time to sleep, she decides to get close to me again and share the cardigan's warmth.Lilith: "Don't be stupid next time."Steven: "I won't"
