Chapter 23
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***
<▪▪No Secrets▪▪>
The car journey was painfully long with Augustus and Ben clearly at each other's throats. It started when Augustus wanted to sit shotgun next to Ben instead of Sam, but he ended up next to me at the back. Needless to say, my ride's music was Augustus's constant mutterings every time Sam placed a hand on Ben's shoulders to emphasize a point as he drove. I almost lost it before we finally reached the hospital.
Ben parked and we all filed out of the car. Augustus stood next to me looking unyielding with his sharp-looking, black coat and angry eyes. Sam stretched and headed toward the hospital's entrance with Ben.
"Romeo, if you don't do something, I seriously might end up killing Mr.Benny." He whispered using the nickname Sam used and I sighed.
"Augustus. Stop being idiotic and obviously jealou-"
He snorted. "I'm definitely not jealous. I don't even care."
"Then act like it." I snapped exasperatedly as we entered the hospital and reached for the registrar.
Sam was asking if it was okay to visit Zig and they said it was fine. I honestly didn't know what happened to Zig, but he had been in the hospital for almost a month now. It must have been some serious injury. I then booked an appointment with a doctor to get my cast removed before we got in a lift and headed to the floor with Zig's room. The lift ride was mostly silent, with me standing impatiently right in front of the doors and the three of them behind me.
When we were finally in front of Zig's room, Ben glanced at Augustus, faced Sam and then pointed at him. "He coming in?"
"Of course, I am," Augustus interfered hotly, crossing his arms in front of his chest. "I'm his childhood friend."
"Oh, so-" Ben started teasingly, then paused. "-so you're gay too?"
"Do I look gay to you?" Augustus said sounding offended as Sam snickered.
"And what's wrong with that?" Ben asked crossing his arms in front of his chest too, raising an eyebrow.
"Absolutely nothing, but I don't look gay and I am not gay and sure as hell my ball-" I cleared my throat before Augustus progressed in any undesired path as he usually would when he was livid.
"Why are you so aggressive?" Sam then asked, drawing Augustus's attention as I rolled my eyes, readying myself for another unnecessary fight.
"I am not," he snapped coldly. "I am not aggressive."
"Stop talking like that!" She said and he raised his eyebrows.
"Like what?" His normally warm, deep voice was suddenly distant and daring.
"Like that!"
"You don't get to tell me how to talk. Sam." He scowled at her and I raised my eyebrows at his attitude's change.
Sam then glanced at me looking confused, before turning away from Augustus and me, and entered Zig's room with Ben. Augustus didn't even look at me before he too entered and I followed sighing. They were a hopeless case. A drama I got stuck into.
Zig was lying on the bed with his legs hanging in a cast. He looked beaten, and I wondered about what the actual hell happened to him.
"Gussy!" was the first thing Zig uttered when I closed the door behind us. "Holyshit mate, I missed you! Last time I saw was like what? A week ago?"
Augustus grinned and walked to his side as Ben and Sam sat on a sofa by his bed while I stood at the bed's foot expressionless, tapping my feet as I patiently waited for them to undergo their 'human' rituals.
"And, oh my God," Zig then turned to me and I narrowed my eyes at him. "-you came to check up on me?"
I blinked at him, lost at words before I nodded silently, smiling tightly.
Whatever knobhead.
"And now that I know you're good, I'll leave," I said quickly and everyone nodded. "It's good seeing you again." I lied as he grinned feebly. I honestly couldn't care less.
When I exited the room, I exhaled a sigh of relief. Being alone was a blessing nowadays. I then headed to the doctor who told me that I could actually remove my patch and start physiotherapy for my arm. Sure as hell, I got the patch removed and sure as hell, I felt the weakness in my arm.
There was also an unsightly scar etched on my right shoulder that made me tear my gaze away.
That scar. That scar will always be there to painfully remind me of my weakness and will remind me of the day I lost everything in. Will always remind me of my father. This scar and the nine burn scars on my back.
As the doctor, cleaned my arm with an antiseptic, I looked at my ring and fiddled with it irritated at my inability to have done anything here. Might've as well returned to Glasgow- home. But the question was: Was I ready to return and face it all? Was I ready to leave? And if I did return, what was to become of me? What was there for me? Maybe I'd run away from father, find a good job and live on my own for the rest of my life. But I knew that that was just a dream.
I sighed and ran my right hand over my face in frustration, then pushed back the hair that fell over my eyes.
"Sir?" The doctor asked, snapping me out of my chain of thoughts.
"Yes?" I glanced at her stressed, ageing face with the dark circles beneath her dull eyes and her fake smile, distractedly.
"How did you get shot?"
I looked at her not surprised by the question.
"It wasn't here. I was practising shooting with my father. Something went wrong. The bullet backfired, I guess." I gave her the same explanation that I'd been giving to every doctor I met about this bloody shot.
"Did you report them or do you want to?"
"That was four months ago, doctor. Besides, there's no one to report." I shrugged with a faint smile.
Four months ago. Four months ago when I lost Audrey. Four months ago when I felt the sharp pain of losing someone I loved. Four months when I got my lesson for all the cruel actions I'd been responsible for when I heard the soft thud of Audrey's body on the ground.
And that deafening silence that followed.
And that deafening silence that followed.
And that deafening silence that followed.
Four months that I wish, I wish, I wish, I wish, I could go back, to make things different. To save my life. Audrey.
"-go." I looked at the doctor confounded as I felt the tears fill my eyes.
"Pardon?" I said solidifying my voice and clearing my throat. It seemed that surrounding myself with pure souls like Augustus and Samantha made me sentimental. Or by my terms, pathetic and pitiful.
"You may go." She repeated with a tired smile before retreating to her desk. I got off the bed, put on my shirt, jacket, and jade green scarf and turned toward the door. Before opening the door, I turned to the doctor. She looked at me expectantly. I blinked at her crinkled, gentle brown eyes, inhaled deeply and frowned.
I didn't know what I was doing. But I knew that it had to be done. I needed to get it all off my chest. Audrey was there for me whenever my breath tightened from stress and confusion. When I wasn't myself. She'd hold my hands and advice me. I had no one after her. I couldn't confide to anyone here either. At least, not yet. And I needed to throw it all behind and never, ever look back.
"Doctor-" I said looking down, feeling my chest tighten. "Doctor-" I repeated, wringing my hands before dropping them back to my sides. "Hav-Have you ever lost someone close to you?"
My question was fast and unsure. I remember, there was a very long pause. It wasn't awkward. It was just very long. The doctor was caught off guard by it before she looked at me with a sad smile. She then nodded quietly and closed her eyes as if in pain.
"I lost my mother when I was sixteen," I said looking straight at her ageing face. "And I think life would've been different if she was around."
I exhaled loudly and blinked back the tears that heaved down on my eyelids. The doctor nodded slowly.
"And I also lost my girlfriend and my baby-" The tumbled out of my mouth as I felt my forehead throb with their loss.
I then stopped to study her. Was what I was doing right? Was it normal for patients to converse like that with their doctors? Because a big part of me was recoiling in 'cringement'.
"Problem is doctor-" I said biting my lip and releasing it. "-I can't make peace with it. I can't seem to let it go. I can't-" I stopped to take a deep breath. "Especially my mom-"
I looked away to dry my tears and when I looked back, the doctor was standing in front of me. She smiled warmly, then gently placed a hand on my cheek. I looked at her hand surprised. My heart raced in my chest. This was level infinity-one-o-one of cheesiness. Like I can't withstand remembering what I'd done. But since it was done, it had to be said.
Care. Concern. They shone brightly in her eyes. "I wish there was something I could prescribe to heal your pain. I really wish that son." She said, her eyes twinkling with tears and motherly love.
"But you have to carry on," she paused to sniff. "You have to be strong enough to carry on, son. People will come and go love. And you're expected to stand still against all odds. You have to. That would've been what your mother and girlfriend wanted you to do."
She patted my cheek and continued, staring in my eyes. She was staring in the eyes of a murderer and calling him 'son'. People are funny when they're clueless. "I know it isn't easy. Because-" she paused. "Because I lost my son. When he was a baby. And I couldn't conceive after him. But you wanna know something?"
I nodded looking at her surprised.
"I'm kind of grateful, for if he lived, I would've died from birth complications. And he would have had to live to suffer your pain. And just because I love him so much, I let him go. I let him go. He would've been your age if he had survived."
I smiled at her feeling my heart lighten considerably. It was like I was talking to someone I didn't remember having. My mom?
"Everything happens for a reason. I'm sure that your loved ones would've suffered more if they'd lived. So be happy for them, happy that they're in a better place. Away from you, yes, but in a much better place." She rubbed my arms before smiling at me.
"I'm so sorry doctor-" I said finally, and thankfully (if you ask me now), regaining my senses.
"Don't be, honey! It isn't wrong to open up to someone. Even if it was a stranger. Even if it was a bloody doctor!" I smiled hesitantly as she made a face.
"Okay then. I should -erm- leave." I then opened the door, feeling heat flush up my neck. And yes, I was blushing like a bloody tenth grader. It was utterly disgraceful. "Thanks, doctor-"
"Carla," she said and I smiled again.
"Thanks," I repeated finally before leaving for good.
Don't dare make fun of me.
What just happened is something, I and you shall forget, but I had to tell you anyway.
I keep no secrets.
---
I headed for the car and waited for them while I smoked a cigarette or two while I digested what I just did. Blimey, did I actually go cry to a doctor? I remember being disgusted then. I sighed loudly, shook my head at my contradicting thoughts and flicked off my cigarette.
And what was taking them so long?- I thought irritably, already knowing that today was just not my day. I reached for my phone anyway and called Augustus. He answered.
"What's taking you so fu-?"
"Romeo." It was Sam who answered panting. "Where are you-?"
"Sam?" I said, feeling my heart in my mouth as I stood straight and instinctively headed back through the hospital doors.
"Ben and Augustus. They're fighting! I don't know what to do!" She sounded utterly frantic as I pursed my lips in anger.
"Where are they?" I asked quickly, walking through the hospital's entrance.
"Still at Zig's!"
"Why didn't you call?!" I said furiously, getting into the lift.
"Because my phone was dead! I had Augustus's, but it had a bloody password! I had to wait for yo-"
But I hung up on her irritably as I sped walked to Zig's room without drawing any attention to myself. I slammed the door open to find Augustus straddling Ben with his fist hanging in the air, that soon crashed into Ben's face. He had taken off his coat and looked completely dishevelled. I looked at both of them outraged, ignoring Zig's praises.
"What the fuck?!" I said, approaching them and pulling Augustus away who still tried to throw a fist at Ben's battered face. "What the fuck, Augustus?!" I repeated as I tried my best to push his heavy body away, but my left arm was too weak.
But Ben still fought back with a snarl on his bloodied lips.
"Stop!" I bellowed angrily, but no-one listened. All I knew was that if Augustus continued, Ben would be as good as dead.
So I punched Augustus angrily.
Augustus stopped immediately to nurse his now bloodied nose and busted lips. Seeing that Ben was going to reach for him again, I quickly planted a hand on his shoulder to pin him down to the ground while giving him a dirty look.
Augustus looked at me with raw fury behind his blue, blue eyes, but instead of doing anything, he got up and left through the open door, grabbing his coat with him.
I looked after him still wildly amused at what just happened. I looked down at Ben, whose glasses broke and whose face was beaten. I let him go and he too staggered out through the open door.
I panted, closing my eyes and shaking my head.
"That was one good punch, though." Zig's voice came from on top of the bed. "It wasn't expected." I ignored him, of course.
I got up, looked frantically around the room and noticed a lot of blood droplets on the floor. I took off my jacket and peeled off a shirt from the layers I was wearing. I then wiped the blood away.
I then got up, put back on my jacket, glanced one last time around the room before I rushed outside, closing the door after me. I was looking behind me distractedly when I crashed into somebody. I then realized it was Sam. Sam looked at me worriedly.
"Romeo! Did-"
"Can I have your bag?" I demanded immediately and seriously.
She literally flung her bag in my arms. I then stuffed the bloodied shirt in there before she clutched both my arms and looked into my eyes in horror.
"Blood?!" she said.
"No, red wine, sweetheart," I said vexed by her question as I removed my arms from her clutch and continued walking past her. I could still feel her behind me.
"Romeo! Hold up-" I ignored her. I was really mad at her. She was probably the reason they were fighting.
It wasn't until I heard her sniffing did I stop. I groaned and returned to where she stopped, a few metres away.
I angrily clutched both her arms and shook her. "Why the hell are you crying now?" I sneered at her and she hiccuped. "You were the reason they fought, weren't you, bit-"
"No, I wasn't!" She protested loudly, grabbing people's attention to us.
"Don't. You. Dare. Raise. Your. Voice," I said inching my face closer to hers. I felt her body's heat on my skin and continued. "And don't you dare lie."
"But I didn't!" She let out a tiny whimper.
"Then what do you suppose happened?" I inquired 'calmly', staring at her wide, dark-brown eyes.
"Ben-" She chocked and I raised an eyebrow impatiently. "-he called him a son of a bitch."
I narrowed my eyes at her. "Oh, yeah?" I mocked. "Don't play games, bitch. You're playing with both their feelings and you're lying."
She looked at me as tears poured out of her eyes. "I didn't! I swear, I didn't!"
I took a deep breath and looked back at her. "Oh, well. You lost them both. Well done! Enjoy relapsing into loneliness."
She looked down and heaved. "I swear it was Zig who said something that trigerr-"
"I don't believe you." I sneered angrily, shoving her away. I then left her, angry that she made me punch Augustus, and involve me in this in the first place.
But I knew she wasn't lying.
***
A/N: Hmm...What do you think? Ugh...drama that Julius got caught up into haha. And now he's angry, that's bad, isn't it lol?
Anyway! Thank you for reading Ch. 21! It was kinda silly, but uh, there gotta be character building chapters with useless drama before the action starts ;)
Please, if you are enjoying the story, do vote or at least rate the chapters. A review and some comments would be really generous. It'll be deeply appreciated! Thanks again <3
Please report us if you find any errors so we can fix it asap!
***
<▪▪No Secrets▪▪>
The car journey was painfully long with Augustus and Ben clearly at each other's throats. It started when Augustus wanted to sit shotgun next to Ben instead of Sam, but he ended up next to me at the back. Needless to say, my ride's music was Augustus's constant mutterings every time Sam placed a hand on Ben's shoulders to emphasize a point as he drove. I almost lost it before we finally reached the hospital.
Ben parked and we all filed out of the car. Augustus stood next to me looking unyielding with his sharp-looking, black coat and angry eyes. Sam stretched and headed toward the hospital's entrance with Ben.
"Romeo, if you don't do something, I seriously might end up killing Mr.Benny." He whispered using the nickname Sam used and I sighed.
"Augustus. Stop being idiotic and obviously jealou-"
He snorted. "I'm definitely not jealous. I don't even care."
"Then act like it." I snapped exasperatedly as we entered the hospital and reached for the registrar.
Sam was asking if it was okay to visit Zig and they said it was fine. I honestly didn't know what happened to Zig, but he had been in the hospital for almost a month now. It must have been some serious injury. I then booked an appointment with a doctor to get my cast removed before we got in a lift and headed to the floor with Zig's room. The lift ride was mostly silent, with me standing impatiently right in front of the doors and the three of them behind me.
When we were finally in front of Zig's room, Ben glanced at Augustus, faced Sam and then pointed at him. "He coming in?"
"Of course, I am," Augustus interfered hotly, crossing his arms in front of his chest. "I'm his childhood friend."
"Oh, so-" Ben started teasingly, then paused. "-so you're gay too?"
"Do I look gay to you?" Augustus said sounding offended as Sam snickered.
"And what's wrong with that?" Ben asked crossing his arms in front of his chest too, raising an eyebrow.
"Absolutely nothing, but I don't look gay and I am not gay and sure as hell my ball-" I cleared my throat before Augustus progressed in any undesired path as he usually would when he was livid.
"Why are you so aggressive?" Sam then asked, drawing Augustus's attention as I rolled my eyes, readying myself for another unnecessary fight.
"I am not," he snapped coldly. "I am not aggressive."
"Stop talking like that!" She said and he raised his eyebrows.
"Like what?" His normally warm, deep voice was suddenly distant and daring.
"Like that!"
"You don't get to tell me how to talk. Sam." He scowled at her and I raised my eyebrows at his attitude's change.
Sam then glanced at me looking confused, before turning away from Augustus and me, and entered Zig's room with Ben. Augustus didn't even look at me before he too entered and I followed sighing. They were a hopeless case. A drama I got stuck into.
Zig was lying on the bed with his legs hanging in a cast. He looked beaten, and I wondered about what the actual hell happened to him.
"Gussy!" was the first thing Zig uttered when I closed the door behind us. "Holyshit mate, I missed you! Last time I saw was like what? A week ago?"
Augustus grinned and walked to his side as Ben and Sam sat on a sofa by his bed while I stood at the bed's foot expressionless, tapping my feet as I patiently waited for them to undergo their 'human' rituals.
"And, oh my God," Zig then turned to me and I narrowed my eyes at him. "-you came to check up on me?"
I blinked at him, lost at words before I nodded silently, smiling tightly.
Whatever knobhead.
"And now that I know you're good, I'll leave," I said quickly and everyone nodded. "It's good seeing you again." I lied as he grinned feebly. I honestly couldn't care less.
When I exited the room, I exhaled a sigh of relief. Being alone was a blessing nowadays. I then headed to the doctor who told me that I could actually remove my patch and start physiotherapy for my arm. Sure as hell, I got the patch removed and sure as hell, I felt the weakness in my arm.
There was also an unsightly scar etched on my right shoulder that made me tear my gaze away.
That scar. That scar will always be there to painfully remind me of my weakness and will remind me of the day I lost everything in. Will always remind me of my father. This scar and the nine burn scars on my back.
As the doctor, cleaned my arm with an antiseptic, I looked at my ring and fiddled with it irritated at my inability to have done anything here. Might've as well returned to Glasgow- home. But the question was: Was I ready to return and face it all? Was I ready to leave? And if I did return, what was to become of me? What was there for me? Maybe I'd run away from father, find a good job and live on my own for the rest of my life. But I knew that that was just a dream.
I sighed and ran my right hand over my face in frustration, then pushed back the hair that fell over my eyes.
"Sir?" The doctor asked, snapping me out of my chain of thoughts.
"Yes?" I glanced at her stressed, ageing face with the dark circles beneath her dull eyes and her fake smile, distractedly.
"How did you get shot?"
I looked at her not surprised by the question.
"It wasn't here. I was practising shooting with my father. Something went wrong. The bullet backfired, I guess." I gave her the same explanation that I'd been giving to every doctor I met about this bloody shot.
"Did you report them or do you want to?"
"That was four months ago, doctor. Besides, there's no one to report." I shrugged with a faint smile.
Four months ago. Four months ago when I lost Audrey. Four months ago when I felt the sharp pain of losing someone I loved. Four months when I got my lesson for all the cruel actions I'd been responsible for when I heard the soft thud of Audrey's body on the ground.
And that deafening silence that followed.
And that deafening silence that followed.
And that deafening silence that followed.
Four months that I wish, I wish, I wish, I wish, I could go back, to make things different. To save my life. Audrey.
"-go." I looked at the doctor confounded as I felt the tears fill my eyes.
"Pardon?" I said solidifying my voice and clearing my throat. It seemed that surrounding myself with pure souls like Augustus and Samantha made me sentimental. Or by my terms, pathetic and pitiful.
"You may go." She repeated with a tired smile before retreating to her desk. I got off the bed, put on my shirt, jacket, and jade green scarf and turned toward the door. Before opening the door, I turned to the doctor. She looked at me expectantly. I blinked at her crinkled, gentle brown eyes, inhaled deeply and frowned.
I didn't know what I was doing. But I knew that it had to be done. I needed to get it all off my chest. Audrey was there for me whenever my breath tightened from stress and confusion. When I wasn't myself. She'd hold my hands and advice me. I had no one after her. I couldn't confide to anyone here either. At least, not yet. And I needed to throw it all behind and never, ever look back.
"Doctor-" I said looking down, feeling my chest tighten. "Doctor-" I repeated, wringing my hands before dropping them back to my sides. "Hav-Have you ever lost someone close to you?"
My question was fast and unsure. I remember, there was a very long pause. It wasn't awkward. It was just very long. The doctor was caught off guard by it before she looked at me with a sad smile. She then nodded quietly and closed her eyes as if in pain.
"I lost my mother when I was sixteen," I said looking straight at her ageing face. "And I think life would've been different if she was around."
I exhaled loudly and blinked back the tears that heaved down on my eyelids. The doctor nodded slowly.
"And I also lost my girlfriend and my baby-" The tumbled out of my mouth as I felt my forehead throb with their loss.
I then stopped to study her. Was what I was doing right? Was it normal for patients to converse like that with their doctors? Because a big part of me was recoiling in 'cringement'.
"Problem is doctor-" I said biting my lip and releasing it. "-I can't make peace with it. I can't seem to let it go. I can't-" I stopped to take a deep breath. "Especially my mom-"
I looked away to dry my tears and when I looked back, the doctor was standing in front of me. She smiled warmly, then gently placed a hand on my cheek. I looked at her hand surprised. My heart raced in my chest. This was level infinity-one-o-one of cheesiness. Like I can't withstand remembering what I'd done. But since it was done, it had to be said.
Care. Concern. They shone brightly in her eyes. "I wish there was something I could prescribe to heal your pain. I really wish that son." She said, her eyes twinkling with tears and motherly love.
"But you have to carry on," she paused to sniff. "You have to be strong enough to carry on, son. People will come and go love. And you're expected to stand still against all odds. You have to. That would've been what your mother and girlfriend wanted you to do."
She patted my cheek and continued, staring in my eyes. She was staring in the eyes of a murderer and calling him 'son'. People are funny when they're clueless. "I know it isn't easy. Because-" she paused. "Because I lost my son. When he was a baby. And I couldn't conceive after him. But you wanna know something?"
I nodded looking at her surprised.
"I'm kind of grateful, for if he lived, I would've died from birth complications. And he would have had to live to suffer your pain. And just because I love him so much, I let him go. I let him go. He would've been your age if he had survived."
I smiled at her feeling my heart lighten considerably. It was like I was talking to someone I didn't remember having. My mom?
"Everything happens for a reason. I'm sure that your loved ones would've suffered more if they'd lived. So be happy for them, happy that they're in a better place. Away from you, yes, but in a much better place." She rubbed my arms before smiling at me.
"I'm so sorry doctor-" I said finally, and thankfully (if you ask me now), regaining my senses.
"Don't be, honey! It isn't wrong to open up to someone. Even if it was a stranger. Even if it was a bloody doctor!" I smiled hesitantly as she made a face.
"Okay then. I should -erm- leave." I then opened the door, feeling heat flush up my neck. And yes, I was blushing like a bloody tenth grader. It was utterly disgraceful. "Thanks, doctor-"
"Carla," she said and I smiled again.
"Thanks," I repeated finally before leaving for good.
Don't dare make fun of me.
What just happened is something, I and you shall forget, but I had to tell you anyway.
I keep no secrets.
---
I headed for the car and waited for them while I smoked a cigarette or two while I digested what I just did. Blimey, did I actually go cry to a doctor? I remember being disgusted then. I sighed loudly, shook my head at my contradicting thoughts and flicked off my cigarette.
And what was taking them so long?- I thought irritably, already knowing that today was just not my day. I reached for my phone anyway and called Augustus. He answered.
"What's taking you so fu-?"
"Romeo." It was Sam who answered panting. "Where are you-?"
"Sam?" I said, feeling my heart in my mouth as I stood straight and instinctively headed back through the hospital doors.
"Ben and Augustus. They're fighting! I don't know what to do!" She sounded utterly frantic as I pursed my lips in anger.
"Where are they?" I asked quickly, walking through the hospital's entrance.
"Still at Zig's!"
"Why didn't you call?!" I said furiously, getting into the lift.
"Because my phone was dead! I had Augustus's, but it had a bloody password! I had to wait for yo-"
But I hung up on her irritably as I sped walked to Zig's room without drawing any attention to myself. I slammed the door open to find Augustus straddling Ben with his fist hanging in the air, that soon crashed into Ben's face. He had taken off his coat and looked completely dishevelled. I looked at both of them outraged, ignoring Zig's praises.
"What the fuck?!" I said, approaching them and pulling Augustus away who still tried to throw a fist at Ben's battered face. "What the fuck, Augustus?!" I repeated as I tried my best to push his heavy body away, but my left arm was too weak.
But Ben still fought back with a snarl on his bloodied lips.
"Stop!" I bellowed angrily, but no-one listened. All I knew was that if Augustus continued, Ben would be as good as dead.
So I punched Augustus angrily.
Augustus stopped immediately to nurse his now bloodied nose and busted lips. Seeing that Ben was going to reach for him again, I quickly planted a hand on his shoulder to pin him down to the ground while giving him a dirty look.
Augustus looked at me with raw fury behind his blue, blue eyes, but instead of doing anything, he got up and left through the open door, grabbing his coat with him.
I looked after him still wildly amused at what just happened. I looked down at Ben, whose glasses broke and whose face was beaten. I let him go and he too staggered out through the open door.
I panted, closing my eyes and shaking my head.
"That was one good punch, though." Zig's voice came from on top of the bed. "It wasn't expected." I ignored him, of course.
I got up, looked frantically around the room and noticed a lot of blood droplets on the floor. I took off my jacket and peeled off a shirt from the layers I was wearing. I then wiped the blood away.
I then got up, put back on my jacket, glanced one last time around the room before I rushed outside, closing the door after me. I was looking behind me distractedly when I crashed into somebody. I then realized it was Sam. Sam looked at me worriedly.
"Romeo! Did-"
"Can I have your bag?" I demanded immediately and seriously.
She literally flung her bag in my arms. I then stuffed the bloodied shirt in there before she clutched both my arms and looked into my eyes in horror.
"Blood?!" she said.
"No, red wine, sweetheart," I said vexed by her question as I removed my arms from her clutch and continued walking past her. I could still feel her behind me.
"Romeo! Hold up-" I ignored her. I was really mad at her. She was probably the reason they were fighting.
It wasn't until I heard her sniffing did I stop. I groaned and returned to where she stopped, a few metres away.
I angrily clutched both her arms and shook her. "Why the hell are you crying now?" I sneered at her and she hiccuped. "You were the reason they fought, weren't you, bit-"
"No, I wasn't!" She protested loudly, grabbing people's attention to us.
"Don't. You. Dare. Raise. Your. Voice," I said inching my face closer to hers. I felt her body's heat on my skin and continued. "And don't you dare lie."
"But I didn't!" She let out a tiny whimper.
"Then what do you suppose happened?" I inquired 'calmly', staring at her wide, dark-brown eyes.
"Ben-" She chocked and I raised an eyebrow impatiently. "-he called him a son of a bitch."
I narrowed my eyes at her. "Oh, yeah?" I mocked. "Don't play games, bitch. You're playing with both their feelings and you're lying."
She looked at me as tears poured out of her eyes. "I didn't! I swear, I didn't!"
I took a deep breath and looked back at her. "Oh, well. You lost them both. Well done! Enjoy relapsing into loneliness."
She looked down and heaved. "I swear it was Zig who said something that trigerr-"
"I don't believe you." I sneered angrily, shoving her away. I then left her, angry that she made me punch Augustus, and involve me in this in the first place.
But I knew she wasn't lying.
***
A/N: Hmm...What do you think? Ugh...drama that Julius got caught up into haha. And now he's angry, that's bad, isn't it lol?
Anyway! Thank you for reading Ch. 21! It was kinda silly, but uh, there gotta be character building chapters with useless drama before the action starts ;)
Please, if you are enjoying the story, do vote or at least rate the chapters. A review and some comments would be really generous. It'll be deeply appreciated! Thanks again <3
***No SecretsThe car journey was painfully long with Augustus and Ben clearly at each other's throats. It started when Augustus wanted to sit shotgun next to Ben instead of Sam, but he ended up next to me at the back. Needless to say, my ride's music was Augustus's constant mutterings every time Sam placed a hand on Ben's shoulders to emphasize a point as he drove. I almost lost it before we finally reached the hospital.Ben parked and we all filed out of the car. Augustus stood next to me looking unyielding with his sharp-looking, black coat and angry eyes. Sam stretched and headed toward the hospital's entrance with Ben."Romeo, if you don't do something, I seriously might end up killing Mr.Benny." He whispered using the nickname Sam used and I sighed."Augustus. Stop being idiotic and obviously jealou-"He snorted. "I'm definitely not jealous. I don't even care.""Then act like it." I snapped exasperatedly as we entered the hospital and reached for the registrar.Sam was asking if it was okay to visit Zig and they said it was fine. I honestly didn't know what happened to Zig, but he had been in the hospital for almost a month now. It must have been some serious injury. I then booked an appointment with a doctor to get my cast removed before we got in a lift and headed to the floor with Zig's room. The lift ride was mostly silent, with me standing impatiently right in front of the doors and the three of them behind me.When we were finally in front of Zig's room, Ben glanced at Augustus, faced Sam and then pointed at him. "He coming in?""Of course, I am," Augustus interfered hotly, crossing his arms in front of his chest. "I'm his childhood friend.""Oh, so-" Ben started teasingly, then paused. "-so you're gay too?""Do I look gay to you?" Augustus said sounding offended as Sam snickered."And what's wrong with that?" Ben asked crossing his arms in front of his chest too, raising an eyebrow."Absolutely nothing, but I don't look gay and I am not gay and sure as hell my ball-" I cleared my throat before Augustus progressed in any undesired path as he usually would when he was livid."Why are you so aggressive?" Sam then asked, drawing Augustus's attention as I rolled my eyes, readying myself for another unnecessary fight."I am not," he snapped coldly. "I am not aggressive.""Stop talking like that!" She said and he raised his eyebrows."Like what?" His normally warm, deep voice was suddenly distant and daring."Like that!""You don't get to tell me how to talk. Sam." He scowled at her and I raised my eyebrows at his attitude's change.Sam then glanced at me looking confused, before turning away from Augustus and me, and entered Zig's room with Ben. Augustus didn't even look at me before he too entered and I followed sighing. They were a hopeless case. A drama I got stuck into.Zig was lying on the bed with his legs hanging in a cast. He looked beaten, and I wondered about what the actual hell happened to him."Gussy!" was the first thing Zig uttered when I closed the door behind us. "Holyshit mate, I missed you! Last time I saw was like what? A week ago?"Augustus grinned and walked to his side as Ben and Sam sat on a sofa by his bed while I stood at the bed's foot expressionless, tapping my feet as I patiently waited for them to undergo their 'human' rituals."And, oh my God," Zig then turned to me and I narrowed my eyes at him. "-you came to check up on me?"I blinked at him, lost at words before I nodded silently, smiling tightly.Whatever knobhead."And now that I know you're good, I'll leave," I said quickly and everyone nodded. "It's good seeing you again." I lied as he grinned feebly. I honestly couldn't care less.When I exited the room, I exhaled a sigh of relief. Being alone was a blessing nowadays. I then headed to the doctor who told me that I could actually remove my patch and start physiotherapy for my arm. Sure as hell, I got the patch removed and sure as hell, I felt the weakness in my arm.There was also an unsightly scar etched on my right shoulder that made me tear my gaze away.That scar. That scar will always be there to painfully remind me of my weakness and will remind me of the day I lost everything in. Will always remind me of my father. This scar and the nine burn scars on my back.As the doctor, cleaned my arm with an antiseptic, I looked at my ring and fiddled with it irritated at my inability to have done anything here. Might've as well returned to Glasgow- home. But the question was: Was I ready to return and face it all? Was I ready to leave? And if I did return, what was to become of me? What was there for me? Maybe I'd run away from father, find a good job and live on my own for the rest of my life. But I knew that that was just a dream.I sighed and ran my right hand over my face in frustration, then pushed back the hair that fell over my eyes."Sir?" The doctor asked, snapping me out of my chain of thoughts."Yes?" I glanced at her stressed, ageing face with the dark circles beneath her dull eyes and her fake smile, distractedly."How did you get shot?"I looked at her not surprised by the question."It wasn't here. I was practising shooting with my father. Something went wrong. The bullet backfired, I guess." I gave her the same explanation that I'd been giving to every doctor I met about this bloody shot."Did you report them or do you want to?""That was four months ago, doctor. Besides, there's no one to report." I shrugged with a faint smile.Four months ago. Four months ago when I lost Audrey. Four months ago when I felt the sharp pain of losing someone I loved. Four months when I got my lesson for all the cruel actions I'd been responsible for when I heard the soft thud of Audrey's body on the ground.And that deafening silence that followed.And that deafening silence that followed.And that deafening silence that followed.Four months that I wish, I wish, I wish, I wish, I could go back, to make things different. To save my life. Audrey."-go." I looked at the doctor confounded as I felt the tears fill my eyes."Pardon?" I said solidifying my voice and clearing my throat. It seemed that surrounding myself with pure souls like Augustus and Samantha made me sentimental. Or by my terms, pathetic and pitiful."You may go." She repeated with a tired smile before retreating to her desk. I got off the bed, put on my shirt, jacket, and jade green scarf and turned toward the door. Before opening the door, I turned to the doctor. She looked at me expectantly. I blinked at her crinkled, gentle brown eyes, inhaled deeply and frowned.I didn't know what I was doing. But I knew that it had to be done. I needed to get it all off my chest. Audrey was there for me whenever my breath tightened from stress and confusion. When I wasn't myself. She'd hold my hands and advice me. I had no one after her. I couldn't confide to anyone here either. At least, not yet. And I needed to throw it all behind and never, ever look back."Doctor-" I said looking down, feeling my chest tighten. "Doctor-" I repeated, wringing my hands before dropping them back to my sides. "Hav-Have you ever lost someone close to you?"My question was fast and unsure. I remember, there was a very long pause. It wasn't awkward. It was just very long. The doctor was caught off guard by it before she looked at me with a sad smile. She then nodded quietly and closed her eyes as if in pain."I lost my mother when I was sixteen," I said looking straight at her ageing face. "And I think life would've been different if she was around."I exhaled loudly and blinked back the tears that heaved down on my eyelids. The doctor nodded slowly."And I also lost my girlfriend and my baby-" The tumbled out of my mouth as I felt my forehead throb with their loss.I then stopped to study her. Was what I was doing right? Was it normal for patients to converse like that with their doctors? Because a big part of me was recoiling in 'cringement'."Problem is doctor-" I said biting my lip and releasing it. "-I can't make peace with it. I can't seem to let it go. I can't-" I stopped to take a deep breath. "Especially my mom-"I looked away to dry my tears and when I looked back, the doctor was standing in front of me. She smiled warmly, then gently placed a hand on my cheek. I looked at her hand surprised. My heart raced in my chest. This was level infinity-one-o-one of cheesiness. Like I can't withstand remembering what I'd done. But since it was done, it had to be said.Care. Concern. They shone brightly in her eyes. "I wish there was something I could prescribe to heal your pain. I really wish that son." She said, her eyes twinkling with tears and motherly love."But you have to carry on," she paused to sniff. "You have to be strong enough to carry on, son. People will come and go love. And you're expected to stand still against all odds. You have to. That would've been what your mother and girlfriend wanted you to do."She patted my cheek and continued, staring in my eyes. She was staring in the eyes of a murderer and calling him 'son'. People are funny when they're clueless. "I know it isn't easy. Because-" she paused. "Because I lost my son. When he was a baby. And I couldn't conceive after him. But you wanna know something?"I nodded looking at her surprised."I'm kind of grateful, for if he lived, I would've died from birth complications. And he would have had to live to suffer your pain. And just because I love him so much, I let him go. I let him go. He would've been your age if he had survived."I smiled at her feeling my heart lighten considerably. It was like I was talking to someone I didn't remember having. My mom?"Everything happens for a reason. I'm sure that your loved ones would've suffered more if they'd lived. So be happy for them, happy that they're in a better place. Away from you, yes, but in a much better place." She rubbed my arms before smiling at me."I'm so sorry doctor-" I said finally, and thankfully if you ask me now, regaining my senses."Don't be, honey! It isn't wrong to open up to someone. Even if it was a stranger. Even if it was a bloody doctor!" I smiled hesitantly as she made a face."Okay then. I should -erm- leave." I then opened the door, feeling heat flush up my neck. And yes, I was blushing like a bloody tenth grader. It was utterly disgraceful. "Thanks, doctor-""Carla," she said and I smiled again."Thanks," I repeated finally before leaving for good.Don't dare make fun of me.What just happened is something, I and you shall forget, but I had to tell you anyway.I keep no secrets.---I headed for the car and waited for them while I smoked a cigarette or two while I digested what I just did. Blimey, did I actually go cry to a doctor? I remember being disgusted then. I sighed loudly, shook my head at my contradicting thoughts and flicked off my cigarette.And what was taking them so long?- I thought irritably, already knowing that today was just not my day. I reached for my phone anyway and called Augustus. He answered."What's taking you so fu-?""Romeo." It was Sam who answered panting. "Where are you-?""Sam?" I said, feeling my heart in my mouth as I stood straight and instinctively headed back through the hospital doors."Ben and Augustus. They're fighting! I don't know what to do!" She sounded utterly frantic as I pursed my lips in anger."Where are they?" I asked quickly, walking through the hospital's entrance."Still at Zig's!""Why didn't you call?!" I said furiously, getting into the lift."Because my phone was dead! I had Augustus's, but it had a bloody password! I had to wait for yo-"But I hung up on her irritably as I sped walked to Zig's room without drawing any attention to myself. I slammed the door open to find Augustus straddling Ben with his fist hanging in the air, that soon crashed into Ben's face. He had taken off his coat and looked completely dishevelled. I looked at both of them outraged, ignoring Zig's praises."What the fuck?!" I said, approaching them and pulling Augustus away who still tried to throw a fist at Ben's battered face. "What the fuck, Augustus?!" I repeated as I tried my best to push his heavy body away, but my left arm was too weak.But Ben still fought back with a snarl on his bloodied lips."Stop!" I bellowed angrily, but no-one listened. All I knew was that if Augustus continued, Ben would be as good as dead.So I punched Augustus angrily.Augustus stopped immediately to nurse his now bloodied nose and busted lips. Seeing that Ben was going to reach for him again, I quickly planted a hand on his shoulder to pin him down to the ground while giving him a dirty look.Augustus looked at me with raw fury behind his blue, blue eyes, but instead of doing anything, he got up and left through the open door, grabbing his coat with him.I looked after him still wildly amused at what just happened. I looked down at Ben, whose glasses broke and whose face was beaten. I let him go and he too staggered out through the open door.I panted, closing my eyes and shaking my head."That was one good punch, though." Zig's voice came from on top of the bed. "It wasn't expected." I ignored him, of course.I got up, looked frantically around the room and noticed a lot of blood droplets on the floor. I took off my jacket and peeled off a shirt from the layers I was wearing. I then wiped the blood away.I then got up, put back on my jacket, glanced one last time around the room before I rushed outside, closing the door after me. I was looking behind me distractedly when I crashed into somebody. I then realized it was Sam. Sam looked at me worriedly."Romeo! Did-""Can I have your bag?" I demanded immediately and seriously.She literally flung her bag in my arms. I then stuffed the bloodied shirt in there before she clutched both my arms and looked into my eyes in horror."Blood?!" she said."No, red wine, sweetheart," I said vexed by her question as I removed my arms from her clutch and continued walking past her. I could still feel her behind me."Romeo! Hold up-" I ignored her. I was really mad at her. She was probably the reason they were fighting.It wasn't until I heard her sniffing did I stop. I groaned and returned to where she stopped, a few metres away.I angrily clutched both her arms and shook her. "Why the hell are you crying now?" I sneered at her and she hiccuped. "You were the reason they fought, weren't you, bit-""No, I wasn't!" She protested loudly, grabbing people's attention to us."Don't. You. Dare. Raise. Your. Voice," I said inching my face closer to hers. I felt her body's heat on my skin and continued. "And don't you dare lie.""But I didn't!" She let out a tiny whimper."Then what do you suppose happened?" I inquired 'calmly', staring at her wide, dark-brown eyes."Ben-" She chocked and I raised an eyebrow impatiently. "-he called him a son of a bitch."I narrowed my eyes at her. "Oh, yeah?" I mocked. "Don't play games, bitch. You're playing with both their feelings and you're lying."She looked at me as tears poured out of her eyes. "I didn't! I swear, I didn't!"I took a deep breath and looked back at her. "Oh, well. You lost them both. Well done! Enjoy relapsing into loneliness."She looked down and heaved. "I swear it was Zig who said something that trigerr-""I don't believe you." I sneered angrily, shoving her away. I then left her, angry that she made me punch Augustus, and involve me in this in the first place.But I knew she wasn't lying.***A/N: Hmm...What do you think? Ugh...drama that Julius got caught up into haha. And now he's angry, that's bad, isn't it lol?Anyway! Thank you for reading Ch. 21! It was kinda silly, but uh, there gotta be character building chapters with useless drama before the action starts ;Please, if you are enjoying the story, do vote or at least rate the chapters. A review and some comments would be really generous. It'll be deeply appreciated! Thanks again 3
