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Julius Caesar - Chapter 5

Published at 14th of January 2019 06:51:40 PM


Chapter 5

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Silence.

A soft thud and my world came crashing down.

I opened my eyes.

And Audrey. Audrey was on sprawled on the ground. Audrey was shot in the chest.

In front of my eyes.

In front of my eyes.

In front of my eyes.

I heaved up myself, ignoring the haziness I felt from the blood pooling out of my shoulder and staggered dangerously toward her body. I wasn't thinking clearly. No, no, I wasn't even thinking.

Because this wasn't supposed to happen. This wasn't how it was supposed to end.

I collapsed in front of her body on my knees, too shocked to even react properly. So I used my good, terribly numb hand to remove the cloth from her mouth. And I watched her breathe frantically as her teary eyes landed on mine.

And I thought something happened to my lungs. They weren't functioning properly. And I wondered if I really should quit smoking. Because this was it. This was lung cancer, bronchitis and emphysema all at once.

I held her with my good arm quickly and pulled her closer to me. "Oh my God." I breathed as I watched the blood stain on her white shirt widen. "Oh no, no-" Audrey's eyes were fluttering helplessly. "Audrey, come on, baby, no." The words were gushing nonstop now as the realization of what just happened hit me. "Hey, hey, don't you do that, love, please." Her head tilted away from me and I painfully used my left hand's fingers to let her face me.

She inhaled sharply. "I pr-pregnant-" she then choked with a painful cough that took my breath away.

"What?" I breathed, my eyes widening. "Don't tell me that now, no." I was whispering incoherent things because all I wanted to scream was- what is happening? "You're pregnant?"

"I'm feeling it move inside me now," she inhaled with difficulty, her chest dramatically heaving up and down with every word she uttered. "I'm scared, Caesar. I'm so scared."

And all I could do was shake my head. Because- What are you scared of? Don't be silly. There's absolutely nothing to be scared of. I'm right here, baby.

"I'm scared it'll stop moving, Caesar." Tears tumbled down her cheeks as her eyes closed and I was sure that I should be dead now. Because her words, her pain, those were a million bullets to my heart.

"Hey! Hey, baby look at me! Look at me!" I whispered, panicking feeling my heart shatter and my eyes swim in tears as I pulled her closer. "Love-"

"It hurts Caesar. It hurts. It hurts-" she said with so much serenity it almost killed me. My lips quivered as I watched tears slide down the sides of her face. "I wanted you to be happy-" she rasped, coughing out blood and wincing.

My eyes widened and tears fell. I wiped away her tears with shaky fingers and smiled. "I wanted you happy too-" I said not letting her eyes go.

"But I am. I am dying next to you. Caesar. In your arm-ms, baby. I love you-"

I tightened my hold on her and kissed her forehead. I was crying like a baby now. "I love you so so so much. So so much Audrey. I love you. Please-"

"Take revenge honey- Live proudly-" She spluttered the last words before shutting up and simply staring into my eyes. I kept staring into hers in disbelief. Was that it? Was she really going to...leave me? Just like that?

"It stopped. It stopped moving-" She then whispered frantically with wide eyes and a quavering voice before her body gave a final shudder and simply stopped moving.

The light in her eyes disappeared taking the light out of my life.

I looked at her beautiful face one last time. The tears she has just shed. The blood that was once in her. The blood that kept her and me alive. The baby I would've had. I closed her eyes with shaky, bloody fingers.

I felt like the whole world just crumpled up and punched me in the stomach. I shut my eyes and screwed my face in pain.

That was when I cried and moaned like I never did before. I don't remember how long I stayed there holding her lifeless body in my good arm, close to my chest and heart, my forehead against hers. I buried my face in her hair breathing in her smell one last time.

I held her plump lifeless, cold hand and raised it to my lips to kiss it over and over again. But what was the use? She was forever gone. Gone forever.

At one point, darkness took over and it couldn't have been more welcome.

---

I woke up with the sound of beeping next to me.

I opened my eyes and captured everything around me with my eyes in a haze. The huge glass window in front of me. The huge bed I was sitting on. The machines connected to my body.

I tried moving my left arm causing a shot of pain to jolt through it. It was cast in a sling.

Then the memories came back crashing, pushing me down on the bed again with my head on an impossibly soft pillow.

Me challenging, Father. Father throwing an ashtray. Father slapping me. Father shooting me. Father calling Audrey in. Me begging, Father. Father shooting Audrey. Audrey being pregnant. Audrey being hurt. Audrey asking me to take revenge. Audrey in my arms. Audrey calling me Caesar one last time. Audrey wilting in my arms. Audrey looking in my eyes. Audrey dying.

I felt my eyes water up again. I lost Audrey. The only exception to my rules. The only one who understood me. The only one who revived me with emotion I never knew of.

I shook my head on my pillow and brought my right hand to my eyes as I let out a whimper.

My father successfully broke me again.

But this was different. He destroyed me. He knew my weakness and he used it to kill me. I lost my lover and baby. I lost the only thing which I thought was definite in my life. I lost the thing that I thought I was the only one who had control over. I lost the only serenity in my life.

And it drove me crazy. It drove me crazy because when I thought about it, it all traced back to me. If Audrey hadn't met me, she would've been living now. With a person more worthy of her.

Father knew how to bring to my knees.

But this time the pain was deeper. Harsher. But so would be the consequences, I thought to myself. I clenched my fists and breathed through my nose in raw anger. Anger that originated from the deep grief that planted itself in my heart. Anger that was watered by my despair and utter disappointment in myself.

Yes. I was disappointed in myself. I could've stopped all that from happening. If only I'd sacrificed my love to Audrey's well-being. But I chose to be selfish. Again.

I removed my hair from my eyes and frowned feeling defeated. I felt helpless. Weak, even. And that never happened. How could I live with myself after that? After being the reason behind the death of two innocent souls?

But who was I to say this or even describe it in this way? Wasn't I the one who stole death's cloak and took away the souls whenever I wanted? I never mourned them. I let other people do that part. Feel that part.

So that's how it felt? Losing a loved one to death's twin? Like you're being crippled. Lonely in a world full of people. No support. With nothing really worth living for. It felt like the world was empty now.

But who'd pay for their lost souls? I sure did. But if I didn't do something, this might happen again. And again. And I'd be victimized again. Because someone else had to pay.

Father had to pay too.

This was a dirty two-player game that he started. Didn't he want Sam Ricardo? I wanted her too.

And I'd make sure I'd get to her first.

I sat up, suddenly determined and angry. I detached myself from all the wires connected to me. I quickly got to my feet, threw the door open with my right hand and ran through the corridors just in time nurses came rushing in. I used the stairs and was soon out in the cold, crisp air in a plain white shirt and blue-striped pyjama pants.

I probably looked like I escaped from an asylum, but that didn't matter. All I wanted to do right now was head to Audrey's house. I wanted to mourn her loss.

I walked quickly. I knew my directions very well. When I got there, I quickly strode into the house's door. It just needed either my or Audrey's fingerprints.

I clicked the door close behind me and went upstairs where I found the room turned upside down. They were probably looking for where she worked. To get to her.

And they did.

But how did Father know where I had been? How did he know I was here? With Audrey?

He couldn't have possibly tracked me down. I thought of everything I possessed. Nothing was his. Nothing except for...

Except for the Mustang. The Mustang he gave me as a gift when I was just nineteen.

I took a deep breath and sat on the bed's edge. I should've known.

I clenched my fists and felt my chest tighten. This was really messed up. And quick action was in order.

I decided that I will book a flight to London. Tomorrow. I already had a plan figured out. If father thought he had everything he wanted, I'd love to prove him wrong. And succeed this time.

I changed my clothes and looked at my watch. It was two in the morning, but I felt restless. And even if I tried to sleep, I knew I couldn't. I would keep thinking about Audrey and the baby that we would've had if it weren't for Father's selfish demands.

I detested his existence. And it was mutual from his side.

I pocketed a lot of money and my visa card. I also packed my laptop because I had a lot of research to do. I headed to the dresser where Audrey kept all the pictures we took together. I took the album, but it dropped from my right hand as black and white pictures spilt from it, grabbing my attention.

I slowly knelt down on the floor and examined them.

Ultrasound pictures.

My eyes widened and watered without my permission. I couldn't waste a second, being sentimental if I could use that second to do something about it. So I sniffed, clenched my jaws, looked away and placed the pictures in the pocket in the front of my leather jacket. The one closest to my heart.

I held the album and took two pictures. One in which I was kissing Audrey's cheek and she was grinning her eyes squeezed shut. In the other, I was smiling at the camera and she was smiling at me.

My heart sank involuntarily, knowing that those days were no more. That now Audrey was no more but a memory. A happy one. A sad one. A beautiful one. She was nothing more than that.

I took a deep breath and climbed down the stairs. I was ready to take that journey. For them. And for me.

I took a cab to the airport and reserved a flight to London in half an hour. I took my ticket and waited for those thirty minutes with my brain and memories as my inevitable friends.

I hated that. Always did.

But I was soon on the plane. Ready to go to London. Ready to meet Sam Ricardo and ready to watch Father come to his knees. I would watch him crumble and would do nothing about it.

Just like he did to me.

***

A/N: Alright, you must've noticed that this and the last few chapters were all mainly what's going on in Julius's mind. Even though I think they're long and boring (there are no conversations), they're quite essential to know the character and the way things appear to him since he's the MC. But that's enough lol. Be ready for new characters and I may officially say...IT HAS BEGUN! *dances and throws confetti*

Again, thanks for reading and for your support! If you like it how about...vote and comment? *winks*

Love you all!

xoxo




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