After a light drizzle has passed, one by one the people returned to the plaza to continue the program giving honor to Captain Who's heroism. The stage is wrapped in foil and pinned on it are the letters CAPTAIN WHO IS OUR HERO. Six kids just finished dancing "La Bamba", completely out of sync, but the parents are happy enough to use up a 36-shot roll of Kodak. Before that, some women also performed an Ifugao dance to the tune of "High Energy". The people are happy and diligent in clapping whenever a barangay tanod shouts "Don't you have any hands?" There was just a bit of trouble at times when the people at the back complained that the kids riding on their father's shoulders are blocking their view.
"How are you aaall!" Caselyn Francisco's voice rings out on the microphone. "My, who knew the people of Pelaez are so beautiful and handsome?"
The people almost lost their minds with how hard they were waving their hands. The one who organized this whole event is the corrupt and Mayor Suico's disagreeable partner Vice Mayor Virgilio Samonte. Using the funds meant for the local hospitals, the small, fat, and light skinned vice mayor invited several celebrities for an extravagant show.
"I'm so excited because tonight, we will finally get to know and honor the hero of Pelaez and the whole country…none other than Captain Who!" Fredmoore Delos Santos moves with so much life and expertise on the stage. He asks the people, "Are you guys excited?" Aside from some of the old watchers waiting to see some older celebrities, almost all the people are shouting yes like maniacs . "Okay! But before that, let's call on the stage the kids competing on who could blow up the biggest Bazooka Bubble Gum!"
More games and festivities occur with a lot of people bringing home gift packs of Silver Swan¹. There were break-dance showdowns, Madonna and Cyndi Lauper copycats, and someone singing "Touch by Touch" by Modern Talking that caused two audience members to pass out. After that Ramon 'Bong' Revilla Jr. was introduced to promote his Captain Who film and also gave away free passes. Prominent and not-so-prominent politicians also showed up in Pelaez, along with Hetty, Mico Milkshake, Susy and Geno, and the mascot of Chiclet. Along with the Bingo Bonanza, the grand showing took place over three hours before the celebrities went home and the people started to leave. It was only then that the actual honoring of Captain Who started, headed by the vice mayor.
"To the hero that has saved thousands of our countrymen's lives, may this 30,000 pesos serve as our token of appreciation," opened the vice mayor, holding the envelope that once contained the true donated amount of P50,000 by several organizations, "I now present to you…CAPTAIN WHO!"
The band plays. The hands of the people were yet to touch in applause when the savior appears on the stage and nervously shook hands with the politicians. He stands for several minutes in front of the mic before he is able to speak. But the people didn't hear him because the microphone wasn't turned on. When he pushed to switch it on, out came deafening feedback, causing the audience to hold their hands over their ears while kneeling on the ground. Some of the kids started crying and several dogs freed themselves from their leashes and ran to somewhere far away. By the time the technician has fixed the problem, there was a droning in the hearing of all present.
"My job may be difficult but I do it for all of you," Captain Who repeats the things he said to the dead microphone a while ago. "Thank you."
The people stare at each other before anyone clapped. One person, which became two, three…only then did they regain their senses and everyone started clapping again. But Captain Who was just about to grab the envelope from the hands of the vice mayor when a voice from the audience broke into the scene.
"Impostor!" shouted Captain Who emerging from the crowd. "That person is only pretending."
The watchers let out an Oooh. The savior climbs up the stage and removes the helmet from the pretender. The watchers go Aaah. The tanods immediately grab the impostor.
"It's a good thing you came!" shouted a female councilor.
"I will never let the people of Pelaez fall victim to swindling," answered Captain Who, who inside the helmet is none other than the councilor's husband. Several more Captain Who's show up, introducing themselves one after another.
"I am the real Captain Who!"
"No, I am!"
"Stop it! I am, like, the savior!"
"I…amh the…Cap…tan!"
"Old man, you're way too obvious. You could have at least tried using a younger voice. I am the true Captain Who!"
One by one Captain Who's started sprouting up from all over, using all types of different clothing and old motorcycle helmets. Some show up with outfits copying Superman's costume, also claiming to be Captain Who. Everything is in chaos over the P30,000 to be given to a person no-one even knows. The barangay tanods jumped into action and cops riding motorcycles started arriving which made the situation worse. Nobody immediately noticed amidst all the uproar one desperate Captain Who holding a grenade.
"You won't give me the money?" Mang Jose's brother stretches out his hand, pointing to the crowd the explosive. "We are victims of the Mayor, but the Municipal didn't approach us even a single time!" The retired general is crying, drunk, and insane. "If Captain Who has saved all of you…he didn't save us! We are the one who lost the most, we should be the ones compensated!" There are still too many people around the man running amok. Women, children, elders. The police couldn't do anything but push the people away. In the blink of an eye, the veteran threw the grenade at the stage still full of people. But the grenade is pushed away from his hand and only rolls a few feet. The person who stopped and pushed away the grenade is Bok-bok. Everyone starts shouting. The people around the explosive ran. There were broken slippers, chairs turned over, tripped elders, and children trapped in the stampede.
Booom!!!
The grenade explodes. A deafening rumble. Fire. Smoke. Crying. When everything started calming down again, the people start touching themselves. Making sure they're still alive and all limbs are attached. Mang Jose's brother, Bok-bok, all the townspeople—intact. No one is hurt. Except for the man whose burnt helmet falls apart and wearing a torn Captain Who costume—body full of scratches and face peppered with burns, he kneels atop where the grenade exploded. The people start coming closer one by one in curiosity.
"R-Rogelio?" Aling Precious is the first person to recognize.
"Let's go!" Bok-bok comes to help by assisting his friend in getting him away from all the people.
"He saved us from the explosion!" The crowd starts thickening once more.
"Rogelio is Captain Who!"
"The real Captain Who!"
The townspeople started mobbing the savior while Bok-bok drapes his friend’s arm over him, no longer knowing what to do next. In the middle of all the people, a fair skinned woman comes closer and kneels in front of Rogelio. The soft-spoken, kind, and respected Aling Chummy, suddenly slapped the hero.
"You killed my husband!" the honored resident of Pelaez covers her mouth as she sobs. "You killed him!"
The people are stunned. Bok-bok quickly intervenes, "Aling Chummy, Mang Herkules is long dead. Lung cancer, right? Your husband died to smoking!"
"Then why didn't he stop him?" Aling Chummy screams as her chest tightens. "He did nothing to stop my husband's smoking!" The friendly madam is now sprawled on the floor, with messy hair and a face smeared by tears. "He killed my husband!" She suddenly stood up as if looking for a fight. "What are you waiting for? Arrest this criminal!"
The onlookers start looking at each other and nodding. The police moved fast to cuff Rogelio and board him into the newly arrived police mobile.
"Sir, the fat one?" asked one cop to another.
"Take him too. He's an accomplice."
"Then sir, what about the one with the grenade?"
"Do you still have any handcuffs?"
"None, sir."
"Let him be. He's just drunk."
Translation Notes:
1 – A popular Philippine condiment brand.
After a light drizzle has passed, one by one the people returned to the plaza to continue the program giving honor to Captain Who's heroism. The stage is wrapped in foil and pinned on it are the letters CAPTAIN WHO IS OUR HERO. Six kids just finished dancing "La Bamba", completely out of sync, but the parents are happy enough to use up a 36-shot roll of Kodak. Before that, some women also performed an Ifugao dance to the tune of "High Energy". The people are happy and diligent in clapping whenever a barangay tanod shouts "Don't you have any hands?" There was just a bit of trouble at times when the people at the back complained that the kids riding on their father's shoulders are blocking their view.
"How are you aaall!" Caselyn Francisco's voice rings out on the microphone. "My, who knew the people of Pelaez are so beautiful and handsome?"
The people almost lost their minds with how hard they were waving their hands. The one who organized this whole event is the corrupt and Mayor Suico's disagreeable partner Vice Mayor Virgilio Samonte. Using the funds meant for the local hospitals, the small, fat, and light skinned vice mayor invited several celebrities for an extravagant show.
"I'm so excited because tonight, we will finally get to know and honor the hero of Pelaez and the whole country…none other than Captain Who!" Fredmoore Delos Santos moves with so much life and expertise on the stage. He asks the people, "Are you guys excited?" Aside from some of the old watchers waiting to see some older celebrities, almost all the people are shouting yes like maniacs . "Okay! But before that, let's call on the stage the kids competing on who could blow up the biggest Bazooka Bubble Gum!"
More games and festivities occur with a lot of people bringing home gift packs of Silver Swan¹. There were break-dance showdowns, Madonna and Cyndi Lauper copycats, and someone singing "Touch by Touch" by Modern Talking that caused two audience members to pass out. After that Ramon 'Bong' Revilla Jr. was introduced to promote his Captain Who film and also gave away free passes. Prominent and not-so-prominent politicians also showed up in Pelaez, along with Hetty, Mico Milkshake, Susy and Geno, and the mascot of Chiclet. Along with the Bingo Bonanza, the grand showing took place over three hours before the celebrities went home and the people started to leave. It was only then that the actual honoring of Captain Who started, headed by the vice mayor.
"To the hero that has saved thousands of our countrymen's lives, may this 30,000 pesos serve as our token of appreciation," opened the vice mayor, holding the envelope that once contained the true donated amount of P50,000 by several organizations, "I now present to you…CAPTAIN WHO!"
The band plays. The hands of the people were yet to touch in applause when the savior appears on the stage and nervously shook hands with the politicians. He stands for several minutes in front of the mic before he is able to speak. But the people didn't hear him because the microphone wasn't turned on. When he pushed to switch it on, out came deafening feedback, causing the audience to hold their hands over their ears while kneeling on the ground. Some of the kids started crying and several dogs freed themselves from their leashes and ran to somewhere far away. By the time the technician has fixed the problem, there was a droning in the hearing of all present.
"My job may be difficult but I do it for all of you," Captain Who repeats the things he said to the dead microphone a while ago. "Thank you."
The people stare at each other before anyone clapped. One person, which became two, three…only then did they regain their senses and everyone started clapping again. But Captain Who was just about to grab the envelope from the hands of the vice mayor when a voice from the audience broke into the scene.
"Impostor!" shouted Captain Who emerging from the crowd. "That person is only pretending."
The watchers let out an Oooh. The savior climbs up the stage and removes the helmet from the pretender. The watchers go Aaah. The tanods immediately grab the impostor.
"It's a good thing you came!" shouted a female councilor.
"I will never let the people of Pelaez fall victim to swindling," answered Captain Who, who inside the helmet is none other than the councilor's husband. Several more Captain Who's show up, introducing themselves one after another.
"I am the real Captain Who!"
"No, I am!"
"Stop it! I am, like, the savior!"
"I…amh the…Cap…tan!"
"Old man, you're way too obvious. You could have at least tried using a younger voice. I am the true Captain Who!"
One by one Captain Who's started sprouting up from all over, using all types of different clothing and old motorcycle helmets. Some show up with outfits copying Superman's costume, also claiming to be Captain Who. Everything is in chaos over the P30,000 to be given to a person no-one even knows. The barangay tanods jumped into action and cops riding motorcycles started arriving which made the situation worse. Nobody immediately noticed amidst all the uproar one desperate Captain Who holding a grenade.
"You won't give me the money?" Mang Jose's brother stretches out his hand, pointing to the crowd the explosive. "We are victims of the Mayor, but the Municipal didn't approach us even a single time!" The retired general is crying, drunk, and insane. "If Captain Who has saved all of you…he didn't save us! We are the one who lost the most, we should be the ones compensated!" There are still too many people around the man running amok. Women, children, elders. The police couldn't do anything but push the people away. In the blink of an eye, the veteran threw the grenade at the stage still full of people. But the grenade is pushed away from his hand and only rolls a few feet. The person who stopped and pushed away the grenade is Bok-bok. Everyone starts shouting. The people around the explosive ran. There were broken slippers, chairs turned over, tripped elders, and children trapped in the stampede.
Booom!!!
The grenade explodes. A deafening rumble. Fire. Smoke. Crying. When everything started calming down again, the people start touching themselves. Making sure they're still alive and all limbs are attached. Mang Jose's brother, Bok-bok, all the townspeople—intact. No one is hurt. Except for the man whose burnt helmet falls apart and wearing a torn Captain Who costume—body full of scratches and face peppered with burns, he kneels atop where the grenade exploded. The people start coming closer one by one in curiosity.
"R-Rogelio?" Aling Precious is the first person to recognize.
"Let's go!" Bok-bok comes to help by assisting his friend in getting him away from all the people.
"He saved us from the explosion!" The crowd starts thickening once more.
"Rogelio is Captain Who!"
"The real Captain Who!"
The townspeople started mobbing the savior while Bok-bok drapes his friend’s arm over him, no longer knowing what to do next. In the middle of all the people, a fair skinned woman comes closer and kneels in front of Rogelio. The soft-spoken, kind, and respected Aling Chummy, suddenly slapped the hero.
"You killed my husband!" the honored resident of Pelaez covers her mouth as she sobs. "You killed him!"
The people are stunned. Bok-bok quickly intervenes, "Aling Chummy, Mang Herkules is long dead. Lung cancer, right? Your husband died to smoking!"
"Then why didn't he stop him?" Aling Chummy screams as her chest tightens. "He did nothing to stop my husband's smoking!" The friendly madam is now sprawled on the floor, with messy hair and a face smeared by tears. "He killed my husband!" She suddenly stood up as if looking for a fight. "What are you waiting for? Arrest this criminal!"
The onlookers start looking at each other and nodding. The police moved fast to cuff Rogelio and board him into the newly arrived police mobile.
"Sir, the fat one?" asked one cop to another.
"Take him too. He's an accomplice."
"Then sir, what about the one with the grenade?"
"Do you still have any handcuffs?"
"None, sir."
"Let him be. He's just drunk."
Translation Notes:
1 – A popular Philippine condiment brand.
