Six in the evening, not many people can be seen walking in the streets. Everyone is gathering around the front of Rogelio's shop: some guys, a couple of girls, mothers carrying their snotting babies, and some shirtless vagrants showing bellies as big as a four-month pregnant mother's. All eyes are on the Magnavox TV that even has its own cabinet, a job given to Rogelio that hasn't been picked up yet, and therefore is being tested; the TV is on the news report about the incident that happened on the same day.
Reporter: A scene like a movie set can be seen earlier in the town of Pelaez, as a huge crowd of people can be found gathered together on the road. When we approached the crowd, they all had different answers for us.
Student: There was a, er…a woman…gave birth to a catfish…
Store Owner: The Satanist's got a new victim…
Jeepney driver: 'Eard there's a crashed spaceship.
Reporter: There's a spaceship…? Crashed?!
Jeepney driver: Yup. Folks say them man-snakes be livin' there.
Girl: I heard Leni Santos and Rey PJ Abellana are in a movie again!
For every person shown by the camera, the people from Pelaez cheered, whistling and clapping when someone they know is shown on the screen.
Reporter: However when we followed the direction that the witnesses were pointing to, this is what we found. [Camera zooms in to a guy hung to the cross of a tall church.] With the local firemen's ladder being too short for the job, it took about half an hour before the victim was brought down. When we were able to get a statement from him, he said a ninja was the one that left him there. When asked why someone would do that to him, he said he “just stole a watermelon”.
The watchers were howling once again. The laughter drowned out the television, and everyone went to their own conversations.
"All I'm saying is, he should have just asked nicely for a watermelon, I mean, it's only a watermelon."
"That's the thing, it's only a watermelon, did they really need to call the cops?"
"It's the government's fault!"
"No, the cops weren't called, the ninja just suddenly appeared."
"Huh, didn't know we have a superhero! Thought only other countries have those."
"They didn't show it on Channel 13, but awhile ago on Newswatch there was some footage of the mysterious ninja. It was blurry but you could clearly see him getting to the top of Sto. Domingo church in a single leap."
"Single leap?" Bok-bok glances at Rogelio inside the shop.
"Yeah, there weren't any stairs or ropes outside the church. If there was, he wouldn't have been able to climb it that fast anyway. He was carrying the guy with one hand too, after all."
Newscaster: In other news, an overseas contract worker that died in Tamanghasset, Algeria is currently under investigation after allegedly dying to an unknown sickness…
"Wait a a minute, what's a ninja?" Aling Baby asks.
"Ninja, like the one from Japan, the one's with cover on their faces, the mysterious guys."
"Ow kamon! Ninja Kid–that's just Dennis da Silva!¹"
"Hahahahahahaha!"
"Maybe that's the news from yesterday about the lost guy–lost his mind!² Ahahahaha!"
The loiterers were laughing once more. Rogelio turns off the TV, sign that the shop is closing up soon. The crowd watching the news disperses almost instantly.
"Ninja…" Bok-bok looks at him with a mix of annoyance once the people were gone.
"Oh, I just remembered, I took off my shirt and covered my face, like that game we used to play with Teng."
"Flying…"
"No, I just jumped as far as I can tell. I don't know how I reached it."
"Watermelon…"
"Yeah, I know, I messed up. How would I know the guy only stole like, twenty cents? There were so many guys chasing him, and the woman was shouting like really loud!"
"Savior…"
Rogelio shakes his head.
"Rogelio Manglicmot…" Bok-bok puts his palms up in the air, as if imagining a billboard. "Superhero!"
"Stop that already, I still got a lot of things to fix."
"You're now famous, Amay Bisaya!³" Bok-bok raises his hand for a high five, which his friend ignores.
"Do you want to be hung around the Rizal monument?4"
"Hep, hep, hep…wait just a moment! Remember, I haven't given you your costume yet."
"Huh?"
"Do you really just want to be known as the shirtless ninja?"
"Yeah, now that you say that…"
"And you don't even have a name," Bok-bok rubs his chin. "Maybe we should change the name in your birth certificate too while we’re at it. Rogelio—bleh! That's the kind of name grandpas that wear their belts above their navel have!"
"It's fine, at least my name doesn't have a punctuation mark."
"No, that's what's unique!" Bok-bok picks up the copper pipe wedged to the side of a broken washing machine and points it to his friends face like Zorro. Rogelio holds the end of the metal and lets out 10,000 volts of electricity before leaving. Bok-bok drops the pipe in shock and tearfully blows on his hand. "Sore ass! Nude ninja! Super Trash…hope you brownout!"
Translators Note:
1 – A reference to the 1986 movie “Ninja Kids” –
2 – I don’t know if this is lost in translation, but he’s basically calling the “ninja guy” a loonie.
3 – A comedian
4 – https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Rizal_Monument
Six in the evening, not many people can be seen walking in the streets. Everyone is gathering around the front of Rogelio's shop: some guys, a couple of girls, mothers carrying their snotting babies, and some shirtless vagrants showing bellies as big as a four-month pregnant mother's. All eyes are on the Magnavox TV that even has its own cabinet, a job given to Rogelio that hasn't been picked up yet, and therefore is being tested; the TV is on the news report about the incident that happened on the same day.
Reporter: A scene like a movie set can be seen earlier in the town of Pelaez, as a huge crowd of people can be found gathered together on the road. When we approached the crowd, they all had different answers for us.
Student: There was a, er…a woman…gave birth to a catfish…
Store Owner: The Satanist's got a new victim…
Jeepney driver: 'Eard there's a crashed spaceship.
Reporter: There's a spaceship…? Crashed?!
Jeepney driver: Yup. Folks say them man-snakes be livin' there.
Girl: I heard Leni Santos and Rey PJ Abellana are in a movie again!
For every person shown by the camera, the people from Pelaez cheered, whistling and clapping when someone they know is shown on the screen.
Reporter: However when we followed the direction that the witnesses were pointing to, this is what we found. [Camera zooms in to a guy hung to the cross of a tall church.] With the local firemen's ladder being too short for the job, it took about half an hour before the victim was brought down. When we were able to get a statement from him, he said a ninja was the one that left him there. When asked why someone would do that to him, he said he “just stole a watermelon”.
The watchers were howling once again. The laughter drowned out the television, and everyone went to their own conversations.
"All I'm saying is, he should have just asked nicely for a watermelon, I mean, it's only a watermelon."
"That's the thing, it's only a watermelon, did they really need to call the cops?"
"It's the government's fault!"
"No, the cops weren't called, the ninja just suddenly appeared."
"Huh, didn't know we have a superhero! Thought only other countries have those."
"They didn't show it on Channel 13, but awhile ago on Newswatch there was some footage of the mysterious ninja. It was blurry but you could clearly see him getting to the top of Sto. Domingo church in a single leap."
"Single leap?" Bok-bok glances at Rogelio inside the shop.
"Yeah, there weren't any stairs or ropes outside the church. If there was, he wouldn't have been able to climb it that fast anyway. He was carrying the guy with one hand too, after all."
Newscaster: In other news, an overseas contract worker that died in Tamanghasset, Algeria is currently under investigation after allegedly dying to an unknown sickness…
"Wait a a minute, what's a ninja?" Aling Baby asks.
"Ninja, like the one from Japan, the one's with cover on their faces, the mysterious guys."
"Ow kamon! Ninja Kid–that's just Dennis da Silva!¹"
"Hahahahahahaha!"
"Maybe that's the news from yesterday about the lost guy–lost his mind!² Ahahahaha!"
The loiterers were laughing once more. Rogelio turns off the TV, sign that the shop is closing up soon. The crowd watching the news disperses almost instantly.
"Ninja…" Bok-bok looks at him with a mix of annoyance once the people were gone.
"Oh, I just remembered, I took off my shirt and covered my face, like that game we used to play with Teng."
"Flying…"
"No, I just jumped as far as I can tell. I don't know how I reached it."
"Watermelon…"
"Yeah, I know, I messed up. How would I know the guy only stole like, twenty cents? There were so many guys chasing him, and the woman was shouting like really loud!"
"Savior…"
Rogelio shakes his head.
"Rogelio Manglicmot…" Bok-bok puts his palms up in the air, as if imagining a billboard. "Superhero!"
"Stop that already, I still got a lot of things to fix."
"You're now famous, Amay Bisaya!³" Bok-bok raises his hand for a high five, which his friend ignores.
"Do you want to be hung around the Rizal monument?4"
"Hep, hep, hep…wait just a moment! Remember, I haven't given you your costume yet."
"Huh?"
"Do you really just want to be known as the shirtless ninja?"
"Yeah, now that you say that…"
"And you don't even have a name," Bok-bok rubs his chin. "Maybe we should change the name in your birth certificate too while we’re at it. Rogelio—bleh! That's the kind of name grandpas that wear their belts above their navel have!"
"It's fine, at least my name doesn't have a punctuation mark."
"No, that's what's unique!" Bok-bok picks up the copper pipe wedged to the side of a broken washing machine and points it to his friends face like Zorro. Rogelio holds the end of the metal and lets out 10,000 volts of electricity before leaving. Bok-bok drops the pipe in shock and tearfully blows on his hand. "Sore ass! Nude ninja! Super Trash…hope you brownout!"
Translators Note:
1 – A reference to the 1986 movie “Ninja Kids” –
2 – I don’t know if this is lost in translation, but he’s basically calling the “ninja guy” a loonie.
3 – A comedian
4 – https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Rizal_Monument
