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Published at 7th of February 2019 03:45:05 PM


Chapter 49: 49

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Just when Shu Yidan was planning on leaving the System's frozen space, a loud 'SEMPAI!' made him pause.

[Sempai, you can't just proclaim yourself an orphan to disregard acting hot-blooded – that is a blatant disregard of that entity's instructions! What if it comes back to dispute?] Hearing the System's concerned tone, Shu Yidan blinked.

Thinking about how that entity could pop in inside the System's time-frozen space, Shu Yidan felt concerned. And thinking about how it had even forced the System that should be a program with no definition of gender into a female body, Shu Yidan's concern increased.

Thinking over it, blatantly going against the will of an existence who had granted a chunk of its own energy to him seemed like a terrible idea.

"But what can I about it? My only blood relative is my grandfather, the Shu Clan's ancestor. And he is currently in seclusion cultivating. He doesn't need my protection in the first place!" Shu Yidan said with a sigh.

[Sempai… Family isn't only restricted to blood…]

"…Family consists of the people who support and love you, and the people you can confide in and trust." Shu Yidan sighed as he completed her statement.

"That's certainly true. Family doesn't consist solely of bloodlines. But to say the truth, I currently have few people who support and love me and no one who I can confide in and trust." Shaking his head, Shu Yidan said.

[Sempai, you have many people who…-] "No, I don't."

Shu Yidan harshly interrupted the System. "Feng Shiyao, Xiaoyi, the Sect Master… we have only interacted for a day. How can I consider them family?

Hua Xiu… she is my blade and I am her wielder. It wouldn't do to call our relationship as familial.

Mu Rengxue… in the past, she was my loyal subordinate. With her strength, she was the best card in my hand. But she was never family to me.

As for Xiahou Shangyue… that woman was a black widow. Why would I tempt fate by regarding her as a homely wife?"

[Sempai…] The System pursed her lips, pouting at him in silence. [But Feng Shiyao… she regards you with such affection…]

"Of course. But more precisely, she doesn't regard 'me' with affection, she regards 'Shu Yidan' with affection!" Shu Yidan wryly smiled. "She is loyal, fiercely loyal. As a dual cultivator who was untouched by Shu Yidan for half a decade, she still obediently waited for him without ever complaining."

"But am I Shu Yidan? No, I am just a wandering soul who seized his body!" The undercurrent of loneliness in his tone was colder than a thousand-year iceberg.

"Everything I have, I gained from my predecessor, the actual Shu Yidan. His status, his Dao Companion and his Master. His body and soul, his memories and his cultivation… Everything he had was seized by me! But I am not him! I am not Shu Yidan! Even if I bear his name and walk with his body, I'll never be him." Shu Yidan couldn't help but wryly smile.

"In my first time around, I wasn't a True Immortal. I was only a scared teenager who painfully died in Modern Earth, only to arrive in an unfamiliar world. I never had any acting experience, but still I used everything I could to hide the fact that I wasn't Shu Yidan." Shu Yidan's tone was reminiscent, thinking about the hardships he had to go through to survive.

"It was hard to survive and harder to live. The first day I transmigrated, Xiaoyi attacked and nearly sent off my newly transmigrated soul back to hell. The Sect Master left pills and the Heaven-Wind Two Trigram Divine Law, which was impossible for me to even read, forgetting about cultivating it. Crippled by a Qi Refining cultivator, I became a laughingstock in the Sect. When I could finally move my trashed body, I found that bastard Elder Wang trying his best to drive my reputation down. And after that, Feng Shiyao's master decided to break off my engagement with her, holding a goddamned tournament for her would-be new Dao Companion…" Shu Yidan shook his head.

"I still survived. With the Peak Nascent Soul Mu Rengxue's help, I killed off Elder Wang and his son and crippled Feng Shiyao's Sect Master. In the end, I cut off Sect Master's head, broke down her whorehouse, scattered her whores and put Feng Shiyao in permanent house-imprisonment in the Heavenly Wind Sect." Shu Yidan smiled a little as he said this. "But after that, a bigger problem arrived."

Anyway, after that came Shu Yidan's inability to revolve circulate Golden Core energy… and that too was only the start to a new list of problems.

While Shu Yidan found out about the existence of different cultivation paths, putting his hope of gaining strength in totems. Yang Yi, yet a minor character who got nearly killed by one of the disciples of the Sect, had sworn revenge on the Sect. Meanwhile, Xiaoyi came back with Foundation Establishment for a second damned try at beating him to death…

Shu Yidan capped off his tragedy. "I still find it hard to believe, how I somehow survived those terrible days. After I got the totem legacy, everything became easier… but only marginally. I couldn't trust anyone in the Sect, no I couldn't trust anyone, period…"

The one who speaks lies casts doubt on everyone's words.

Shu Yidan was a goddamned body-snatcher, his entire existence was a damned lie. What would he think of everyone?

This wasn't a normal xianxia world. He didn't have cheats, all he had were a hundred fucking problems hanging over his head. And all that was included the strain of maintaining the persona of being Shu Yidan…

At that time, if he hadn't found that Dream Cultivation technique of cultivating the soul by severing emotions and suppressing desires, Shu Yidan might have suffered a mental collapse…

+++

Shu Yidan felt a little embarrassed as he spoke, yet he couldn't stop his speech. He had already described these events to the System, but here he was, doing it again. Just because it would hear him out didn't mean that he should keep on speaking, yet he did…

"…I didn't really make friends in my past life, and the allies I did have were basically benefit-based. I kinda lost the ability to connect with people after severing my emotions and without Xiahou Shangyue's councilling, I'd be a fucking mute… But even so, I preferred holing up in seclusion rather than actually interact with people…"



"It was always a grind, a damned clusterfuck.

Before Yang Yi surfaced, there was the constant pressure. During the battles against Yang Yi, the pressure multiplied. After Yang Yi was dead and gone, there was even more pressure!" Shu Yidan smiled as he shook his head.

"Well, I spoke so much again. Back then, when I was transmitting data to you, I spoke on and on, ranted on and on for the equivalent 150 goddamned years! And even now I am ranting…" Shu Yidan breathed in before slowly exhaling. "Maybe because I never said anything and always kept things locked up in fear for the entirety of my past life, I can't help but rant now. Since I can speak to you, I keep on speaking without caring if you can't speak back…"

"It is kinda like writing a diary, I guess. It still soothes the mind and calms the nerves, going over the past. 'Dear Diary, today I did such and such things…' Maybe I should start with reporting things to you as well. 'Dear System, I did such and such things…'" Shu Yidan sighed when the System didn't reply.

[…It wouldn't be unpleasant if you did so. I do not mind hearing you speak.] The answer was spoken after a few moments but his heartbeat surged hearing it.

"Haah… You know, it seems that I have someone who supports and loves me, someone I can confide in and trust after all. So I guess we are family now. You… this seems weird as hell…" Shu Yidan said with a sigh.

[Should I call you 'onii-chan' now, sempai? Or do you want to be called 'otouto'?]

"…System, that bastard entity who likes sexual content also has strange proclivities… Whatever, it if we are really doing this, I need to name you something, I can't keep calling you 'System'…" Shu Yidan wryly smiled saying this. But the warmth in his tone could be clearly felt even by the robotic System.




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