Suddenly, a tornado tore the girl's house off the Earth, and hurled it together with her into the air --- With a loud thud, they landed on the far east side of the world, on top of a very wicked witch.
X X X
The rain would often evoke unpleasant memories of that day. That's why, I chose a rainy day to jump off the school roof.
I pushed open the yellow door and was greeted by a moody grey sky. The wind howled around, causing me to shiver involuntarily. I tightened the knitted sweater I wore over my school uniform.
Before I jumped, there was something I needed to do. Leaving the door connecting to roof and the school staircase open, I took out my phone, and looked for Ame-kun's mail address from my list of past messages.
In my present state, just the mere sight of his name would be enough to make my heart throb. This was different from the throbbing when we were still a couple - this was a painful throb which was almost unbearable.
That's why, not only did I delete all our phone conversation logs, I also deleted his phone number and mail address. However, I couldn't bear to delete all the previous text messages he sent me. Because they contained too many happy memories, I could never bring myself to delete them; words that were left for me by Ame-kun, whom I had deeply loved.
Deep inside though, I knew these words were nothing but his past self.
I deleted 『Re:』 from the title and composed my last message.
『I still love you. Without you, there is no meaning in living on.』
...... What should I do to be free of these feelings --- Loneliness and love... These feelings that pained him, and also pained me.
I hated myself for being so stubborn.
That's why, I had no other choice --- The only thing I could do, was to end my own life.
--- Message sent.
After confirming the text which flashed across my phone's screen, I took a deep breath, and deleted all of his messages from my phone.
The melancholic sound of raindrops drifted by my ear. The autumn air was extremely cold.
It was a good thing I had my knitted sweater on. Otherwise, my summer uniform would be thoroughly soaked, and the thin fabric expose my undergarments. If the color of my bra could be easily discerned from my corpse, that would surely be too ugly a way to die.
The fence built around the roof to prevent people from accidentally falling over was really tall, I looked up at the obstacle I had no choice to climb over and sighed. The moment I placed a foot on it, it made a really exaggerated noise --- GASHAN.
--- GASHAN, GASHAN.
I originally thought I could climb this fence calmly. However, halfway up I couldn't help but recall Ame-kun's smile; the face of the one I loved the most. Thinking about his deep voice, thinking about his large hands... Thinking that the current him, would never smile at me ever again.
--- GASHAN, GASHAN.
This noise was a bit too obnoxious, I couldn't help but start crying.
--- GASHAN, GASHAN, GASHAN, GASHAN...... "GASHAN---!!"
"...Uwaa!"
Just as I was about to cross over the top, the fence suddenly shook violently, tipping me forward. I got a clear view of the ground below, and I grabbed hold of the fence in reflex.
--- Uwaa! That was close!! To think I almost fell off and died in an accident instead!
I turned back and looked below, wondering what just happened. A few meters away, I found out why a part of the fence was shaking.
"GASHAN!! GUWASHAAAAAAAN!!"
"W-w-wait!! ... Eh?"
--- What was going on? Eh? ... A porcelain doll's kicking the fence?
To be precise --- A cute girl who looked exactly like a porcelain doll, was busy kicking the fence without a shred of mercy.
She wore the same type of uniform as me, so she should be from our school. However, seeing her petite frame it wouldn't be hard to pass her for a junior high school student, or even an elementary school kid. Every time she moved to kick the fence, her long, wavy, chest-length chestnut hair would sway lightly.
As if betraying her gorgeous appearance that would look absolutely stunning if she danced, this girl was now kicking the fence with a murderous look on her face.
--- That's scary. What is she thinking, kicking the fence like that?!
As I was looking at her with a bewildered look on my face, she abruptly stopped kicking, and a pair of eyes turned towards me from under a red umbrella. The moment our sights crossed, I hurriedly shifted my gaze away.
"Crap..."
My senses told me to absolutely not get involved with her.
But as I cowered and shifted my gaze, she had already made her way to beneath my feet.
"W-what are you planning to do?"
Upon seeing her, I couldn't help but shiver. She raised her head and look up at me without expression, before slightly tilting her head. She was like a small kitten, I found myself unable to communicate with her.
"......"
Suddenly, she turned and started running. Her feet made a pitter-patter sound as they splashed across puddles on the conrete floor.
I followed her umbrella-touting silhouette, and saw her running towards a tall, skinny guy who looked in danger of being blown away by the wind any moment, who was lying on the ground with his back towards me. He lay next to the yellow door, under the small roof where the rain couldn't reach.
..... Was he there all this while? I never noticed him when I first came up to the roof...
The girl shouted at the guy, but all he did was turn back and yawn. She retaliated by kicking him like she had done earlier with the fence, and only then did he sit up lazily.
The girl stretched out her hand and pointed at me furiously, but her voice was still drowned by the rain, so I couldn't hear her. Was she telling him something about a weird girl climbing the roof fence?
The guy tried to lie down, but was once again kicked by the girl. Next she threw an umbrella beside him towards the center of the roof; only then did he start to chase after it hurriedly.
As he picked up and opened the umbrella, I finally got to see his face. He had a head of dry, black hair, and a pale white skin complexion that looked fairly unhealthy; this was further cemented by his frail and slender body and eyes. A red tie was wrapped around his thin neck, as he started to walk towards me.
"...... Err, you wouldn't be planning to jump down, right?"
"A-ah... Yes, I guess I was."
I accidentally replied without thinking. It was all because he asked me in a relaxed tone, as if he was asking about something completely natural like how was I feeling that day.
"Is that so..."
Perhaps worried that he would ask too much, he simply looked up beneath the umbrella and watched me. As a girl who had half her legs crossed above the fence, I wasn't too thrilled at the idea of someone looking up at me from below.
"W-what?"
I scowled while staring at him, causing him to shirk back in fear.
"... I-it's nothing, p-please go on..."
--- I don't need you to tell me that! Who are these two people anyway?
At this moment, the girl from before planted herself between me and the guy, and finally said:
"Hey... Hey!! Let me ask you, do you think that girl is also one of those people who are better off dead?"
"Who knows? Though truthfully, she seems more like one of those people who don't matter even if they're alive or dead."
The voice that responded was much colder and sharper than the skinny guy from before.
--- Wait what? There's someone else?
I followed the girl's gaze as she turned backward, and let out a yelp in surprise. "E--!"
Judging from the current situation, the person should also be someone from our school. I couldn't make sure since I couldn't see the uniform he was wearing.
A piece of cloth. His entire body was wrapped in a long, white piece of cloth, from head to toe. His face was the only part of him that wasn't covered in cloth, along with his glasses. There was no mistaking it --- he was a mummy, albeit not a really convincing one costume-wise.
His glasses, drenched with rain, sparkled as he spoke.
"Ignore her, if she wants to die then let her die. It's nothing to do with us."
I wasn't planning on questioning him about his strange outfit. And just as he had said, they had nothing to do with me.
Gripping the fence, I took in the school roof in its entirety: On the left was the skinny, ever-smiling boy; on the right was doll-like girl with a deep gaze, and smack in the middle was the mummy. Was this what they meant by an unexpected development? For a moment I even wondered if any other weird people would start appearing.
"Why...?"
GASHAN--- the fence started shaking again. The red umbrella once again found itself beneath me.
"Why are you committing suicide...?"
Those pair of large round eyes were once again focused on me, as she poised the question with an innocent look on her face.
This time I ignored her, placed my other leg over and finally crossed the fence. Now all I had to do was jump. Please, all of you, just stop talking.
There was a small landing space about a meter in length beyond the fence. Standing on this landing, as soon as I took a step forward, I could end my own life. A gust of wind blew and mercilessly flipped up my skirt. When I make the jump, it was possible that my skirt would end up flipped upwards. If I had knew earlier, I would have wore a pair of sport shorts underneath. Or should I jump with my hands pushing down my skirt?
The fierce wind that blew from beneath the building caused me to grip the fence tightly in reflex. From afar, I could hear the sound of thunder, as if a storm was approaching.
The scenario before me was even more frightening than I had imagined.
Suddenly, I felt the gaze of three people from beyond the fence. Hey, cut it out, I'm embarrassed here!
"... Err, how to I put this... If you guys keep staring at me like that, it's hard for me..."
"A-ah, sorry..."
The skinny boy took two or three steps back; however, the girl walked forward instead and planted her face on the fence.
"Hey, why are you committing suicide? Did something unpleasant happen?"
"Eee!"
Every time she shook the fence with her hands, I would sway beyond it too, as I gripped onto the fence tightly.
"Answer me... Answer me..."
--- Can you stop being so dumb, girl? You're causing me to fall off!!
" 'Can you stop being so dumb, girl?'...?"
--- Huh? Did I accidentally say that?
I suddenly stoned. In that moment, I saw myself reflected in those lucid, amber eyes. The doll-like girl's mouth twitched as she let out a smile.
"You were thinking something along those lines, correct? I'm sorry, a scarecrow doesn't have a brain..."
"... Huh?"
"Just shove her down already, what a pain."
The mummy spat while approaching, the long white cloth swishing in the rain as he dragged it across the ground towards me. Please stop moving! You're commandeering all my attention here!
"I have no interest in whatever crap she's been through."
The skinny boy also started walking beside the mummy.
"But... It'll make things easier if there's more of us, right? She's going to die soon anyway..."
"I hate cheap girls like her with red messy, unkept hair! People like her can't be trusted!"
As he spoke, he pointed towards my head. Upon hearing him I couldn't help but stare back in anger.
"My hair color's natural!"
--- And Ame-kun told me, he liked this color.
However, the rude mummy ignored my protest and continued facing the skinny boy, not planning to turn around.
"Can you hear her? This woman is full of lies!"
"Oh come on, if you didn't talk about her like that, she wouldn't have replied you so."
"Yeah!" I echoed.
At this point, the mummy focused his sharp gaze on me, looking at me from behind his fogged spectacles.
"If you want to die then hurry up with it! If you're scared then don't come onto the roof in the first place!"
After delivering his nasty speech, the mummy turned around and left, his two meter-long cloth trailing behind his feet, slithering like a snake. From behind, he resembled a tsuchinoko.
--- W-what's up with this guy? What do you mean, hurry up and die?
... Biting down on my lip, I surpressed the rising anger within me, and quietly swallowed the taste of being humiliated.
Just then, the girl with the red umbrella, as if wanting to vent out my anger on my behalf, stamped hardly on the end of the white cloth the mummy was trailing. The tsuchinoko fumbled for a moment, before landing facefirst on the floor with a BITAN--- Ah, that must hurt. At least use your hands to cushion the fall!
The mummy turned back and cast the girl a murderous stare, before turning his sights onto me and clicking his tongue. His nose was all red, it must have hurt when he fell... Hey wait, why are you clicking your tongue at me accusedly?
The girl with the red umbrella hopped off the tsuchinoko's cloth, turned her magnificent eyes towards me and said:
"Suddenly, a tornado tore the girl's house off the Earth, and hurled it together with her into the air --- With a loud thud, they landed on the far east side of the world, on top of a very wicked witch."
She made a small hop forward, and with both hands grabbed the hems of her skirt. She then bent her knees and made a small curtsey at me.
"Welcome to the Kingdom of Oz, Dorothy."
"... Dorothy?"
"I am Scarecrow... I have no brains in my head, only hay. If this scarecrow had some intelligence, she could definitely help Dorothy with her pain and sorrow."
--- Scarecrow? You mean those human-shaped mannequins made out of hay?
The girl made a self-depreciating smile, and turned to chase the tsuchinoko who was moving away... Next, she made a light hop, which was followed by another BITAN---
As I was observing this interaction from afar, the skinny boy suddenly entered the middle of my vision.
"I am Lion... Sadly, I lack courage... Despite this, I have teeth! Would you like to have a look?"
Using his free hand, he peeled aside his lips, showing me the interior of his mouth.
"Can you see it? Can you? This part where my finger's touching, these are my teeth!"
--- Erm... I'm sorry but whether or not you have teeth isn't my concern.
Then, the boy who called himself Lion took a step back, and pointed towards the door by the stairway.
"And the one over there is, as you must have guessed..."
"Hentai?"
"No! He's the Tinman... he doesn't have a heart."
At that moment, the Tinman was busy rolling up his cloth and retreating into the doorway.
"... Ahh, a heart. I think he really doesn't have one --- or rather, he lacks common sense."
--- Even so, I had no idea what the skinny boy was trying to say.
"I'm just like you."
"... Huh?"
Sensing my confusion, Lion stepped forward again and placed his face on the fence. Whispering into my ear, with a voice so soft nobody but us could hear:
"--- Since we've decided to kill ourself anyway, is there anything else in this world we cannot do? For example, murdering the person who drove you into this corner."
--- Murder. He could actually speak of such a dangerous term so lightly. I felt a chill travel up my spine.
"We are like you, about to end things with ourselves. But before that, we will have our revenge."
He laughed. Staring at me from beyond the fence, he smiled at my confused eyes.
--- These people are strange.
"Would you like to join us? To extract vengeance first, dying can wait a while longer no?"
I suddenly felt dizzy, as the scene before me warped. Who could ever believe what they were saying?
"... Vengeance... What are you guys trying to do? Are you all planning on... Killing people?"
"We don't know for sure yet, I can't tell you any more."
"... Haa, is that is?"
"Yes, that is so."
"If the Tinman acknowledges you as Dorothy, then we can tell you!"
Said Scarecrow, who had reappeared at Lion's side since who knows when.
By Tinman, she meant the rude mummy, right?
"Is he... your leader?"
"Was there even a leader between us? But if it weren't for him, we would have probably jumped off from there already, and become spirits by now."
"... Huh? Did both of you plan to jump down from here too?"
"Like you, both of us planned to commit suicide, that's why we came to the roof. It's just that Tinman stopped us, that's why we've put it on hold for now... Haha, it's quite embarrassing talking about it like this."
... On hold? Or cancelled?
"Then... when are you guys planning on dying?"
"Who knows, probably after we've had our revenge. I was thinking of jumping by end of the year the latest, but before that I have many preparations to make."
He said while revealing a pure smile. The way he said it, it was like he was planning a surprise birthday party for someone. However, if his thoughts were filled not with the surprise looks of his friends, but rather the responses of his enemies, that would be a scary thought. Was this really the look of someone who planned to end his life before the end of the year? Even though I planned to kill myself today, his words still left me feeling puzzled.
Maybe that was because people who thought about killing themselves weren't normal in the first place, their thought processes were somehow fundamentally flawed. Upon thinking of this, I couldn't help but feel depressed.
School during class hours was totally quiet. In this silence, drenched in rain we stood - anomalies. Detached from the everyday lives associated with people of our age, being left behind by such normal days.
"You're not jumping?"
Asked Lion with his head of loose wavy hair, his face pressed firmly against the fence towards me.
"I'll jump tomorrow. Being seen by people before I could jump, my head's in a mess right now."
Lion let out a hearty laugh, which made me felt if I had been underestimated.
Scarecrow said while observing the never ending stream of raindrops:
"The sky is crying. Sky must be depressed today..."
"... The sky?" I asked.
Standing next to Lion, she shifted her gaze towards me.
"If you're not going to die today, let's walk back together?"
Faced with such a sudden and unexpected request, I couldn't help but let out a bitter smile.
"Okay."
With that, I once again checked my message inbox. There were no messages.
I suddenly felt my heart become heavy, and my desire to commit suicide resurfaced once again.
X X X
This town is filled with memories of me and Ame-kun.
After breaking up with Ame-kun, I always went back home alone. Today, however, I was accompanied by a girl named Scarecrow. Even though we agreed to walk back together, after we left school she never uttered a single words. In order to break this awkward silence, I had to start telling her about my memories with Ame-kun.
Within the boundaries of elementary school, he red-facedly confessed to me, and I accepted him by noding my head in response. After that, came his bashful gratitude. Amidst the blooming Sakura, his face blushed even redder than the Sakura petals themselves. I liked that smiling face of his.
The row of shops in frontof the station was where we first met for our first date. We went to a small cinema in the neighboring town, and after watching a movie, due to us not knowing what else to do we ended up strolling in the supermarket next door. He bought me a light gray hair band, saying it looked great on me. Even though I wasn't use to wearing hair bands, and I didn't really find it cute but couldn't say so, in the end I still put it on with a small smile.
Sharing with someone I just met sweet memories like these was a tad bit too depressing, especially since those were things of the past. Even more so considering the person I just spoke about was the reason I was about to end my life today.
Despite that, never once did I detect a trace of boredom or frustration from Scarecrow. All she did was softly mutter "Fuuh" and "Ehhh".
The sound of children playing after the rain could be heard from the park. The park, which was so huge calling it wide was an understatement, was often used as a shorcut by students.
As we travelled on the red-bricked road, I saw flowerbeds lined along the path in fixed intervals. Light sparkled off the dewdrops clinging to the flowers inside.
The girl named Scarecrow walked next to me, who had my sports jersey on, and began swaying her red umbrella.
"What do you like about that guy...?"
"... What do I like huh..."
Ame-kun was a gentle guy.
If I said I liked lollipops, he would tie a hundred and twenty of them into a lollipop tree and give them to me. Beause I wasn't good at cooking, the best I could do was try to follow a recipe. Even though he said my chocolates were too hard, he would still laugh and finish them all.
Before I met Ame-kun, all I did was pass my days in moderation. After he stepped into my life, he made me feel that I could eventually grow to like myself. Before this we were just classmates, however as time passed he became an irreplaceable person in my life; that feeling made me extremely happy. I didn't mind being hated by other classmates, but he was the only one I didn't wish to be hated by.
"I hope to make someone fall in love with me. Before I met him, I never thought about such things."
That's right, under the lampost in this park, Ame-kun once tried to hug me. Because I had no prior experience in these matters, I hesitated for a moment. Ame-kun, however, gently embraced me with his arms.
『Kana is my treasure, let's keep things like this.』
He said that to me, beneath the lampost up ahead.
"Ahh..."
I suddenly stopped in my tracks. Scarecrow turned to look at me after a few steps.
"What's wrong?"
"N-no, I can't continue further. Lets go back and take a different path."
"Why?"
"......"
Memories of the past were swirling in my head.
Up until the lampost I was still fine, but if we continued forward, a cruel sight would await me. I didn't want to see any more of it.
『This is a red spider lily. In Korea, they're called 'Seok San', meaning 'Flower of Yearning': The flower longs for the leaves, and the leaves yearn for the flower... It's a flower than symbolizes mutual longing and love.』
That day, Ame-kun gave me a bookmark with a pressed red-flower inside. I received that bookmark before the sea of red spider lilies further above.
Back then, the field still contained green flower buds, waiting to blossom.
『The flowers on these side normally blossom in autumn. When all of the spider lilies blossom, it's a very beautiful sight indeed. Shall we come over again in autumn to see them in full bloom?』
When he told me that, his face was blushing red, just as it was when he confessed to me.
Because of him, I grew to love these flowers. And I anxiously awaited autumn. However...
"...... If we continue forward... They'll be a batch of... Red spider lilies..."
But the situation now was different from back then. The flowerbed would be full of red spider lilies in full bloom, and would sway gently in the wind. The sight of the red flowers swaying in the wind would undoubtedly cause my head to turn into a mess again.
Seeing that I had trouble forming cmplete sentences, Scarecrow looked at me and said, without emotion:
"Okay, let's head back."
Before I met him, how had I lived?
Everything he gave me since we started going out still lay on the rug in my room: The gray hair band, the lollipop tree, the bookmark with the red spider lily, as well as an assortment of other stuff. When laid in a row, they were surprisingly many. Just as a thought surfaced in my mind to throw all these items away, I abruptly realized my heart was already a slave to his memories... After that, I would bury myself in my room filled with memories of him.
These things were once my treasure, just as I was once his. However, these things were now nothing more than trash, without any purpose left. And that of course included me.
Ame-kun was no longer around, however the red spider lilies would continue to bloom. As I set my sights on those wavy red petals, emotions that had long been buried beneath my disgust rose to the surface, and trickled down my cheeks.
The undulating red flowers filled my heart, the pain and bitterness causing me to think: If living was so painful, I might as well die.
Suddenly, a tornado tore the girl's house off the Earth, and hurled it together with her into the air --- With a loud thud, they landed on the far east side of the world, on top of a very wicked witch.
X X X
The rain would often evoke unpleasant memories of that day. That's why, I chose a rainy day to jump off the school roof.
I pushed open the yellow door and was greeted by a moody grey sky. The wind howled around, causing me to shiver involuntarily. I tightened the knitted sweater I wore over my school uniform.
Before I jumped, there was something I needed to do. Leaving the door connecting to roof and the school staircase open, I took out my phone, and looked for Ame-kun's mail address from my list of past messages.
In my present state, just the mere sight of his name would be enough to make my heart throb. This was different from the throbbing when we were still a couple - this was a painful throb which was almost unbearable.
That's why, not only did I delete all our phone conversation logs, I also deleted his phone number and mail address. However, I couldn't bear to delete all the previous text messages he sent me. Because they contained too many happy memories, I could never bring myself to delete them; words that were left for me by Ame-kun, whom I had deeply loved.
Deep inside though, I knew these words were nothing but his past self.
I deleted 『Re:』 from the title and composed my last message.
『I still love you. Without you, there is no meaning in living on.』
...... What should I do to be free of these feelings --- Loneliness and love... These feelings that pained him, and also pained me.
I hated myself for being so stubborn.
That's why, I had no other choice --- The only thing I could do, was to end my own life.
--- Message sent.
After confirming the text which flashed across my phone's screen, I took a deep breath, and deleted all of his messages from my phone.
The melancholic sound of raindrops drifted by my ear. The autumn air was extremely cold.
It was a good thing I had my knitted sweater on. Otherwise, my summer uniform would be thoroughly soaked, and the thin fabric expose my undergarments. If the color of my bra could be easily discerned from my corpse, that would surely be too ugly a way to die.
The fence built around the roof to prevent people from accidentally falling over was really tall, I looked up at the obstacle I had no choice to climb over and sighed. The moment I placed a foot on it, it made a really exaggerated noise --- GASHAN.
--- GASHAN, GASHAN.
I originally thought I could climb this fence calmly. However, halfway up I couldn't help but recall Ame-kun's smile; the face of the one I loved the most. Thinking about his deep voice, thinking about his large hands... Thinking that the current him, would never smile at me ever again.
--- GASHAN, GASHAN.
This noise was a bit too obnoxious, I couldn't help but start crying.
--- GASHAN, GASHAN, GASHAN, GASHAN...... "GASHAN---!!"
"...Uwaa!"
Just as I was about to cross over the top, the fence suddenly shook violently, tipping me forward. I got a clear view of the ground below, and I grabbed hold of the fence in reflex.
--- Uwaa! That was close!! To think I almost fell off and died in an accident instead!
I turned back and looked below, wondering what just happened. A few meters away, I found out why a part of the fence was shaking.
"GASHAN!! GUWASHAAAAAAAN!!"
"W-w-wait!! ... Eh?"
--- What was going on? Eh? ... A porcelain doll's kicking the fence?
To be precise --- A cute girl who looked exactly like a porcelain doll, was busy kicking the fence without a shred of mercy.
She wore the same type of uniform as me, so she should be from our school. However, seeing her petite frame it wouldn't be hard to pass her for a junior high school student, or even an elementary school kid. Every time she moved to kick the fence, her long, wavy, chest-length chestnut hair would sway lightly.
As if betraying her gorgeous appearance that would look absolutely stunning if she danced, this girl was now kicking the fence with a murderous look on her face.
--- That's scary. What is she thinking, kicking the fence like that?!
As I was looking at her with a bewildered look on my face, she abruptly stopped kicking, and a pair of eyes turned towards me from under a red umbrella. The moment our sights crossed, I hurriedly shifted my gaze away.
"Crap..."
My senses told me to absolutely not get involved with her.
But as I cowered and shifted my gaze, she had already made her way to beneath my feet.
"W-what are you planning to do?"
Upon seeing her, I couldn't help but shiver. She raised her head and look up at me without expression, before slightly tilting her head. She was like a small kitten, I found myself unable to communicate with her.
"......"
Suddenly, she turned and started running. Her feet made a pitter-patter sound as they splashed across puddles on the conrete floor.
I followed her umbrella-touting silhouette, and saw her running towards a tall, skinny guy who looked in danger of being blown away by the wind any moment, who was lying on the ground with his back towards me. He lay next to the yellow door, under the small roof where the rain couldn't reach.
..... Was he there all this while? I never noticed him when I first came up to the roof...
The girl shouted at the guy, but all he did was turn back and yawn. She retaliated by kicking him like she had done earlier with the fence, and only then did he sit up lazily.
The girl stretched out her hand and pointed at me furiously, but her voice was still drowned by the rain, so I couldn't hear her. Was she telling him something about a weird girl climbing the roof fence?
The guy tried to lie down, but was once again kicked by the girl. Next she threw an umbrella beside him towards the center of the roof; only then did he start to chase after it hurriedly.
As he picked up and opened the umbrella, I finally got to see his face. He had a head of dry, black hair, and a pale white skin complexion that looked fairly unhealthy; this was further cemented by his frail and slender body and eyes. A red tie was wrapped around his thin neck, as he started to walk towards me.
"...... Err, you wouldn't be planning to jump down, right?"
"A-ah... Yes, I guess I was."
I accidentally replied without thinking. It was all because he asked me in a relaxed tone, as if he was asking about something completely natural like how was I feeling that day.
"Is that so..."
Perhaps worried that he would ask too much, he simply looked up beneath the umbrella and watched me. As a girl who had half her legs crossed above the fence, I wasn't too thrilled at the idea of someone looking up at me from below.
"W-what?"
I scowled while staring at him, causing him to shirk back in fear.
"... I-it's nothing, p-please go on..."
--- I don't need you to tell me that! Who are these two people anyway?
At this moment, the girl from before planted herself between me and the guy, and finally said:
"Hey... Hey!! Let me ask you, do you think that girl is also one of those people who are better off dead?"
"Who knows? Though truthfully, she seems more like one of those people who don't matter even if they're alive or dead."
The voice that responded was much colder and sharper than the skinny guy from before.
--- Wait what? There's someone else?
I followed the girl's gaze as she turned backward, and let out a yelp in surprise. "E--!"
Judging from the current situation, the person should also be someone from our school. I couldn't make sure since I couldn't see the uniform he was wearing.
A piece of cloth. His entire body was wrapped in a long, white piece of cloth, from head to toe. His face was the only part of him that wasn't covered in cloth, along with his glasses. There was no mistaking it --- he was a mummy, albeit not a really convincing one costume-wise.
His glasses, drenched with rain, sparkled as he spoke.
"Ignore her, if she wants to die then let her die. It's nothing to do with us."
I wasn't planning on questioning him about his strange outfit. And just as he had said, they had nothing to do with me.
Gripping the fence, I took in the school roof in its entirety: On the left was the skinny, ever-smiling boy; on the right was doll-like girl with a deep gaze, and smack in the middle was the mummy. Was this what they meant by an unexpected development? For a moment I even wondered if any other weird people would start appearing.
"Why...?"
GASHAN--- the fence started shaking again. The red umbrella once again found itself beneath me.
"Why are you committing suicide...?"
Those pair of large round eyes were once again focused on me, as she poised the question with an innocent look on her face.
This time I ignored her, placed my other leg over and finally crossed the fence. Now all I had to do was jump. Please, all of you, just stop talking.
There was a small landing space about a meter in length beyond the fence. Standing on this landing, as soon as I took a step forward, I could end my own life. A gust of wind blew and mercilessly flipped up my skirt. When I make the jump, it was possible that my skirt would end up flipped upwards. If I had knew earlier, I would have wore a pair of sport shorts underneath. Or should I jump with my hands pushing down my skirt?
The fierce wind that blew from beneath the building caused me to grip the fence tightly in reflex. From afar, I could hear the sound of thunder, as if a storm was approaching.
The scenario before me was even more frightening than I had imagined.
Suddenly, I felt the gaze of three people from beyond the fence. Hey, cut it out, I'm embarrassed here!
"... Err, how to I put this... If you guys keep staring at me like that, it's hard for me..."
"A-ah, sorry..."
The skinny boy took two or three steps back; however, the girl walked forward instead and planted her face on the fence.
"Hey, why are you committing suicide? Did something unpleasant happen?"
"Eee!"
Every time she shook the fence with her hands, I would sway beyond it too, as I gripped onto the fence tightly.
"Answer me... Answer me..."
--- Can you stop being so dumb, girl? You're causing me to fall off!!
" 'Can you stop being so dumb, girl?'...?"
--- Huh? Did I accidentally say that?
I suddenly stoned. In that moment, I saw myself reflected in those lucid, amber eyes. The doll-like girl's mouth twitched as she let out a smile.
"You were thinking something along those lines, correct? I'm sorry, a scarecrow doesn't have a brain..."
"... Huh?"
"Just shove her down already, what a pain."
The mummy spat while approaching, the long white cloth swishing in the rain as he dragged it across the ground towards me. Please stop moving! You're commandeering all my attention here!
"I have no interest in whatever crap she's been through."
The skinny boy also started walking beside the mummy.
"But... It'll make things easier if there's more of us, right? She's going to die soon anyway..."
"I hate cheap girls like her with red messy, unkept hair! People like her can't be trusted!"
As he spoke, he pointed towards my head. Upon hearing him I couldn't help but stare back in anger.
"My hair color's natural!"
--- And Ame-kun told me, he liked this color.
However, the rude mummy ignored my protest and continued facing the skinny boy, not planning to turn around.
"Can you hear her? This woman is full of lies!"
"Oh come on, if you didn't talk about her like that, she wouldn't have replied you so."
"Yeah!" I echoed.
At this point, the mummy focused his sharp gaze on me, looking at me from behind his fogged spectacles.
"If you want to die then hurry up with it! If you're scared then don't come onto the roof in the first place!"
After delivering his nasty speech, the mummy turned around and left, his two meter-long cloth trailing behind his feet, slithering like a snake. From behind, he resembled a tsuchinoko.
--- W-what's up with this guy? What do you mean, hurry up and die?
... Biting down on my lip, I surpressed the rising anger within me, and quietly swallowed the taste of being humiliated.
Just then, the girl with the red umbrella, as if wanting to vent out my anger on my behalf, stamped hardly on the end of the white cloth the mummy was trailing. The tsuchinoko fumbled for a moment, before landing facefirst on the floor with a BITAN--- Ah, that must hurt. At least use your hands to cushion the fall!
The mummy turned back and cast the girl a murderous stare, before turning his sights onto me and clicking his tongue. His nose was all red, it must have hurt when he fell... Hey wait, why are you clicking your tongue at me accusedly?
The girl with the red umbrella hopped off the tsuchinoko's cloth, turned her magnificent eyes towards me and said:
"Suddenly, a tornado tore the girl's house off the Earth, and hurled it together with her into the air --- With a loud thud, they landed on the far east side of the world, on top of a very wicked witch."
She made a small hop forward, and with both hands grabbed the hems of her skirt. She then bent her knees and made a small curtsey at me.
"Welcome to the Kingdom of Oz, Dorothy."
"... Dorothy?"
"I am Scarecrow... I have no brains in my head, only hay. If this scarecrow had some intelligence, she could definitely help Dorothy with her pain and sorrow."
--- Scarecrow? You mean those human-shaped mannequins made out of hay?
The girl made a self-depreciating smile, and turned to chase the tsuchinoko who was moving away... Next, she made a light hop, which was followed by another BITAN---
As I was observing this interaction from afar, the skinny boy suddenly entered the middle of my vision.
"I am Lion... Sadly, I lack courage... Despite this, I have teeth! Would you like to have a look?"
Using his free hand, he peeled aside his lips, showing me the interior of his mouth.
"Can you see it? Can you? This part where my finger's touching, these are my teeth!"
--- Erm... I'm sorry but whether or not you have teeth isn't my concern.
Then, the boy who called himself Lion took a step back, and pointed towards the door by the stairway.
"And the one over there is, as you must have guessed..."
"Hentai?"
"No! He's the Tinman... he doesn't have a heart."
At that moment, the Tinman was busy rolling up his cloth and retreating into the doorway.
"... Ahh, a heart. I think he really doesn't have one --- or rather, he lacks common sense."
--- Even so, I had no idea what the skinny boy was trying to say.
"I'm just like you."
"... Huh?"
Sensing my confusion, Lion stepped forward again and placed his face on the fence. Whispering into my ear, with a voice so soft nobody but us could hear:
"--- Since we've decided to kill ourself anyway, is there anything else in this world we cannot do? For example, murdering the person who drove you into this corner."
--- Murder. He could actually speak of such a dangerous term so lightly. I felt a chill travel up my spine.
"We are like you, about to end things with ourselves. But before that, we will have our revenge."
He laughed. Staring at me from beyond the fence, he smiled at my confused eyes.
--- These people are strange.
"Would you like to join us? To extract vengeance first, dying can wait a while longer no?"
I suddenly felt dizzy, as the scene before me warped. Who could ever believe what they were saying?
"... Vengeance... What are you guys trying to do? Are you all planning on... Killing people?"
"We don't know for sure yet, I can't tell you any more."
"... Haa, is that is?"
"Yes, that is so."
"If the Tinman acknowledges you as Dorothy, then we can tell you!"
Said Scarecrow, who had reappeared at Lion's side since who knows when.
By Tinman, she meant the rude mummy, right?
"Is he... your leader?"
"Was there even a leader between us? But if it weren't for him, we would have probably jumped off from there already, and become spirits by now."
"... Huh? Did both of you plan to jump down from here too?"
"Like you, both of us planned to commit suicide, that's why we came to the roof. It's just that Tinman stopped us, that's why we've put it on hold for now... Haha, it's quite embarrassing talking about it like this."
... On hold? Or cancelled?
"Then... when are you guys planning on dying?"
"Who knows, probably after we've had our revenge. I was thinking of jumping by end of the year the latest, but before that I have many preparations to make."
He said while revealing a pure smile. The way he said it, it was like he was planning a surprise birthday party for someone. However, if his thoughts were filled not with the surprise looks of his friends, but rather the responses of his enemies, that would be a scary thought. Was this really the look of someone who planned to end his life before the end of the year? Even though I planned to kill myself today, his words still left me feeling puzzled.
Maybe that was because people who thought about killing themselves weren't normal in the first place, their thought processes were somehow fundamentally flawed. Upon thinking of this, I couldn't help but feel depressed.
School during class hours was totally quiet. In this silence, drenched in rain we stood - anomalies. Detached from the everyday lives associated with people of our age, being left behind by such normal days.
"You're not jumping?"
Asked Lion with his head of loose wavy hair, his face pressed firmly against the fence towards me.
"I'll jump tomorrow. Being seen by people before I could jump, my head's in a mess right now."
Lion let out a hearty laugh, which made me felt if I had been underestimated.
Scarecrow said while observing the never ending stream of raindrops:
"The sky is crying. Sky must be depressed today..."
"... The sky?" I asked.
Standing next to Lion, she shifted her gaze towards me.
"If you're not going to die today, let's walk back together?"
Faced with such a sudden and unexpected request, I couldn't help but let out a bitter smile.
"Okay."
With that, I once again checked my message inbox. There were no messages.
I suddenly felt my heart become heavy, and my desire to commit suicide resurfaced once again.
X X X
This town is filled with memories of me and Ame-kun.
After breaking up with Ame-kun, I always went back home alone. Today, however, I was accompanied by a girl named Scarecrow. Even though we agreed to walk back together, after we left school she never uttered a single words. In order to break this awkward silence, I had to start telling her about my memories with Ame-kun.
Within the boundaries of elementary school, he red-facedly confessed to me, and I accepted him by noding my head in response. After that, came his bashful gratitude. Amidst the blooming Sakura, his face blushed even redder than the Sakura petals themselves. I liked that smiling face of his.
The row of shops in frontof the station was where we first met for our first date. We went to a small cinema in the neighboring town, and after watching a movie, due to us not knowing what else to do we ended up strolling in the supermarket next door. He bought me a light gray hair band, saying it looked great on me. Even though I wasn't use to wearing hair bands, and I didn't really find it cute but couldn't say so, in the end I still put it on with a small smile.
Sharing with someone I just met sweet memories like these was a tad bit too depressing, especially since those were things of the past. Even more so considering the person I just spoke about was the reason I was about to end my life today.
Despite that, never once did I detect a trace of boredom or frustration from Scarecrow. All she did was softly mutter "Fuuh" and "Ehhh".
The sound of children playing after the rain could be heard from the park. The park, which was so huge calling it wide was an understatement, was often used as a shorcut by students.
As we travelled on the red-bricked road, I saw flowerbeds lined along the path in fixed intervals. Light sparkled off the dewdrops clinging to the flowers inside.
The girl named Scarecrow walked next to me, who had my sports jersey on, and began swaying her red umbrella.
"What do you like about that guy...?"
"... What do I like huh..."
Ame-kun was a gentle guy.
If I said I liked lollipops, he would tie a hundred and twenty of them into a lollipop tree and give them to me. Beause I wasn't good at cooking, the best I could do was try to follow a recipe. Even though he said my chocolates were too hard, he would still laugh and finish them all.
Before I met Ame-kun, all I did was pass my days in moderation. After he stepped into my life, he made me feel that I could eventually grow to like myself. Before this we were just classmates, however as time passed he became an irreplaceable person in my life; that feeling made me extremely happy. I didn't mind being hated by other classmates, but he was the only one I didn't wish to be hated by.
"I hope to make someone fall in love with me. Before I met him, I never thought about such things."
That's right, under the lampost in this park, Ame-kun once tried to hug me. Because I had no prior experience in these matters, I hesitated for a moment. Ame-kun, however, gently embraced me with his arms.
『Kana is my treasure, let's keep things like this.』
He said that to me, beneath the lampost up ahead.
"Ahh..."
I suddenly stopped in my tracks. Scarecrow turned to look at me after a few steps.
"What's wrong?"
"N-no, I can't continue further. Lets go back and take a different path."
"Why?"
"......"
Memories of the past were swirling in my head.
Up until the lampost I was still fine, but if we continued forward, a cruel sight would await me. I didn't want to see any more of it.
『This is a red spider lily. In Korea, they're called 'Seok San', meaning 'Flower of Yearning': The flower longs for the leaves, and the leaves yearn for the flower... It's a flower than symbolizes mutual longing and love.』
That day, Ame-kun gave me a bookmark with a pressed red-flower inside. I received that bookmark before the sea of red spider lilies further above.
Back then, the field still contained green flower buds, waiting to blossom.
『The flowers on these side normally blossom in autumn. When all of the spider lilies blossom, it's a very beautiful sight indeed. Shall we come over again in autumn to see them in full bloom?』
When he told me that, his face was blushing red, just as it was when he confessed to me.
Because of him, I grew to love these flowers. And I anxiously awaited autumn. However...
"...... If we continue forward... They'll be a batch of... Red spider lilies..."
But the situation now was different from back then. The flowerbed would be full of red spider lilies in full bloom, and would sway gently in the wind. The sight of the red flowers swaying in the wind would undoubtedly cause my head to turn into a mess again.
Seeing that I had trouble forming cmplete sentences, Scarecrow looked at me and said, without emotion:
"Okay, let's head back."
Before I met him, how had I lived?
Everything he gave me since we started going out still lay on the rug in my room: The gray hair band, the lollipop tree, the bookmark with the red spider lily, as well as an assortment of other stuff. When laid in a row, they were surprisingly many. Just as a thought surfaced in my mind to throw all these items away, I abruptly realized my heart was already a slave to his memories... After that, I would bury myself in my room filled with memories of him.
These things were once my treasure, just as I was once his. However, these things were now nothing more than trash, without any purpose left. And that of course included me.
Ame-kun was no longer around, however the red spider lilies would continue to bloom. As I set my sights on those wavy red petals, emotions that had long been buried beneath my disgust rose to the surface, and trickled down my cheeks.
The undulating red flowers filled my heart, the pain and bitterness causing me to think: If living was so painful, I might as well die.
