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Love Late - Volume 2 - Chapter 20.2

Published at 25th of May 2017 11:44:02 PM


Chapter 20.2

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Chapter Twenty Part Two
 

When I returned home, I bumped into Shu Nian just as he was opening the door. Wearing thick clothes, he appeared to be going out.  After he saw me, he gave a sigh of relief and said, “Thank goodness.  I was just worrying that there’s no one to look after Xiao Jia.  If I don’t make it back in time, give him warm milk at eight thirty.  Later, after watching a half an hour of TV, put him to bed.  I’m going out.”
This no-good, poor old husband.
Xiao Jia beside us said, “Daddy, I can warm milk by myself.”
I patted his head and looked at Shu Nian, “Where are you going?”
“Oh, Xie Yan’s father asked me to stop over at his place.  He said he has something he wanted to discuss with me.  It’s still early in the day anyway, so I’ll be back soon.”
“What does he have to talk about that he can’t do it over the phone?”
Shu Nian shook his head, “I’m not sure, either.  It must have something to do with Xie Yan.”  He then laughed.  “Well, I’ll know once I get there.”  His laughter was a little forced.  He probably had a sense of foreboding.
“Brother,” said Shu Nian.
“Yeah?”
“Can homosexuality be cured?”
I laughingly said, “What are you talking about?  How do you treat something that was never a disease to begin with?”
He looked at me.  “Xie Yan liked girls from the start.  It was because I liked him so much that he gradually…”  He hesitated.  “Maybe it’s not impossible…for him to revert back.”
I really wanted to thump my chest and reassure him.  But when I recalled the scene in the restaurant earlier, I didn’t know what to say for a moment, so I wrapped my arm around his scrawny shoulders.  “I’ll drive you there.”

 

When Xie Feng and his wife saw that besides Shu Nian there was me, an outsider, they were a little taken aback.  The four of us sat face to face with a coffee table in between.  They felt slightly awkward, and Shu Nian was nervous, yet I was perfectly calm.

Xie Feng gave out a cough.  “Actually, it’s really nothing of importance.  Why don’t we discuss this another day?”
Shu Nian looked at me and said, “It’s okay.  He’s my brother.  I tell him everything, so please go ahead.”
An idiot with no secrets.
Xie Feng considered it for a moment and said, “I know you’ll blame us for being old-fashioned.  But Xie Yan liked women from the very beginning.  He wasn’t born a homosexual.  It was entirely because of you that he became one.”
I knew it.
Mrs. Xie continued, “You’re a good child, and we’re at ease that Xie Yan is with you. You look after him more thoroughly than a young lady of any household, but in spite of everything, you’re a man.  How are we to introduce you in public?  A daughter-in-law can’t be a man.  Try to show some understanding for the elderly.”
“…”
“Don’t you love Xie Yan very much?  This being the case, you should think of him.  He’s under a lot of pressure like this, and you know he’s a filial child.  How can he bear to hurt us?   Since he already has a child, he’s only short of a wife.  Besides, you two can’t get married.  It’s not much of a big deal to let someone else have the title.”
“…”
“We’re not asking you two to break up.  We’re not against you two being together anymore.  We just hope you could be a little more generous and accept a woman.  She will make a good wife and is easy to get along with.  She doesn’t mind that there is Xiao Xi. She doesn’t even mind that you are there.  You should know, a woman wouldn’t have that great of a hostility towards a man.  And it would be best if you could be a bit more tolerant like her.”
The back, which Shu Nian often has hunched, completely straightened at that moment.  It was so taut that the veins on his neck surfaced.  It pained me a little to watch.
“Her?  Who is she?”
“You don’t know?  Xie Yan has been dating.  The lady has liked him for so many years.”
Shu Nian suddenly quieted down.  Anyone who has kept too much bottled up would be speechless like this.
“Xie Yan didn’t tell you because he couldn’t.  He was afraid you’d be hurt.  So as parents, we’re not afraid to be the bad guys and explain the situation in his place.”

 

“I’m unable to accept it.”  When Shu Nian finally spoke, his voice was soft as ever, no screaming or shouting.  “I don’t mind that he has a son seeing that we can’t continue the family line.  It’s a good thing to give everyone Xie Yan’s own child with the help of a surrogate mother.  Everyone is happy that there’s a child who resembles Xie Yan.  That has nothing to do with betrayal.

“But as long as I’m here, he can’t marry someone else.  Even if we don’t have the title, we should still be devoted to each other.  He is my spouse.”
He has never spoken in a loud voice.  Being gentle is not equivalent to being weak, and you don’t have to be tough to be strong.
“If it’s Xie Yan’s intention to marry, then please have him personally tell me.  
“He can choose himself whether to be with me or marry a woman.  Regardless of how it’ll turn out, so long as it’s his decision, I will definitely accept it.  I won’t force him.”
The two elderly people were probably surprised by his reaction.  They looked at each other’s face for a while and then said, “How about this.  Don’t lose your temper.  If you leave Xie Yan, Xie Yan will undoubtedly suffer.  Are you willing to have him suffer?  If the Xie household failed you in any way, we’ll make it up to you from here on out—whatever you want.”
Shu Nian’s eyes reddened, yet he didn’t utter another word.
I believe I had misunderstood him in the past.  Even though he’d probably accept reality no matter what, always in silence and never making a fuss, that doesn’t mean he would stay put and bear with it.

 

On the way home, Shu Nian kept quiet, only occasionally letting out a couple irrepressible coughs.  I could imagine how much pain he was feeling.  I wished I could rip Xie Yan apart.

That bastard had the nerve to bully my brother.  See if I don’t twist his head off and kick it like a ball.  When I had left home to make my way in this world, that brat, Xie Yan, was still in kindergarten.  However, my main concern now was to cheer up Shu Nian.
“Don’t be sad.  A three-legged toad isn’t easy to find, but there are plenty of two-legged men!”
I thought about it for a moment.  That’s not right.  So I corrected myself, “There are plenty of men who like men, too.  And even more who are better than Xie Yan.  Don’t worry.”
Upon seeing his pale face, even though I felt slightly awkward, I still blurted out, “Besides, you still have Ke Luo.”
Shu Nian looked at me and bitterly laughed.
I said, “Really, think it over.  Ke Luo really is a pretty good guy.”
It wouldn’t be as worrying and troublesome with Ke Luo as it was with Xie Yan.  He’s madly in love with Shu Nian.  If a god gets in his way, he’d kill a god.  If the Buddha is in the way, he’d kill Him.  What’s more, he comes from a family of gays, and Lu Feng loves him dearly.  So long as Shu Nian chooses him, what follows can be said to be perfect.
Where would you find anyone better?
I was lost in thought as I drove; only feeling a little irritated.
I sighed, what bad luck.  I had originally thought Xie Yan could be considered a good man, yet in the end he was unreliable.  I couldn’t protect Shu Nian all my life, but because he looked so damn easy to bully, I wouldn’t be able to set my mind at rest at all if I traveled around the world.  I had to entrust him to someone before I could enjoy my life.

 

At night, I clumsily coaxed Xiao Jia into bed and then accompanied Shu Nian.  After he was completely asleep, I climbed into my own bed without taking off my clothes or bathing and lay down smoking.

I thought of Ke Luo: his serious expression, the way his cheeks slightly blushed when he’s bashful, the way his smile would suddenly brighten up my vision.
How great it would be if he could be mine.
I’m not one bit generous.  I’m as stingy as hell.  If he took Xie Yan’s place, even just imagining it, I wouldn’t be able to stand it.
He was actually like me.  Just like me who hadn’t been able to control my body’s reaction when I had seen him in the water, he, to this day, was still unable to free himself from Shu Nian.  
I had already given up, yet he hadn’t.
No matter what, I could never obtain him.  So why should I attempt to hide him?  Hiding him would only let his youth gradually wither away in vain, left to rot in the end.
When I was young, I never thought of others.  And now, when I was already at an age where I couldn’t wait anymore, I was thinking that I couldn’t bear to let him become like me after all.

 

The next day, I finally called Ke Luo.  He was actually obedient and rushed over.  He didn’t make me wait long.

Xiao Jia went to attend his drawing class.  It was adult time, so it was only right to send him off.  Shu Nian was in the kitchen preparing dinner for us.  I had Ke Luo sit in the living room for now and then considered my wording.
Ke Luo watched me and smilingly said, “Were you okay last night?”
“Huh?”  I followed his gaze and looked down.  I couldn’t help feeling embarrassed. There were some burnt holes in my shirt.  Last night I had smoked too many cigarettes while lying down.  Strange enough I hadn’t felt the heat from the cigarette ashes.
He reached over to help straighten my shirt and smiled as he said, “This guy, don’t smoke in bed.  Remember to change into your pajamas before getting into bed.  You’re no better than Xiao Jia.”
I stared at his downcast, charmingly long eyelashes.  In fact, as of late, Ke Luo no longer resembled a boy as much.  He seemed kindhearted, like a gentleman, and very masculine. When he smiled, there was still a tiny bit of youthful innocence.
He was no longer th cute, bright kid.  He was actually reliable.
“Ke Luo, let me tell you something.”
“Mm-hm,” he said compliantly.
“Shu Nian and Xie Yan are at odds with each other.”  I thought for a moment.  “No, it’s more severe than that.  They’ll most likely break up.  Anyway, this is a good opportunity for you.”

Ke Luo gave me a questioning look.

“If you want to get Shu Nian, there’s no better time than right now.  Get it?”

Ke Luo suddenly widened his eyes.  He actually seemed more stunned than delighted.  “You want me…to pursue Shu Nian?”

“No kidding.”

“…”  He still had his eyes wide open.  He looked as if he was choking.

Hmph, you’re shocked, right?  I can have an unquestionable integrity and a strong sense of righteousness when I want to.  Switch the unqualified Xie Yan with him, and I wouldn’t have to worry about Shu Nian anymore.  Besides, I could also pick up a Good Samaritan award served to me on a platter.  How great is that?

Ke Luo stared at me for a while and then hesitatingly said, “Are you joking?”

“Hey, don’t be like this.  Trust me.  You don’t think I’m trying to frame you, do you?  I don’t have feelings for you anymore, and I’m also your senior.  Of course, it’s for your own good that I’m advising you to make a move.”

Ke Luo thought about it and shook his head.  “This isn’t good.”

I became slightly angry all of a sudden.  “What’s with the act?  You have the nerve to say that you’ve never dreamed this day would come?  Hey, don’t tell me you’re all talk and no action!  Don’t make me beat the hell out of you.”

Ke Luo still sat there looking dazed until I dragged him up.  “What are you blanking out for?  When it’s time for you to make a move, make a move.  If you’re late, you’ll lose your share!  I’ll eat it myself if you don’t want it!  Come on!”

I gritted my teeth and towed Ke Luo into the kitchen.  Shu Nian was cutting vegetables, and when he heard the noise, he looked up at us with his hands dripping wet.





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