Chapter Twenty Part Three
“Shu Nian, Ke Luo has something to say to you.”
Ke Luo was a bit hesitant. I shot him a “give-it-your-all” look and, with a twist of my mouth and a wrinkle of my nose, gestured him to go on over.
After Ke Luo slightly dithered for a while, he finally said, “Yeah, let’s talk in the living room.”
Shu Nian looked at me, and then looked at him. He wiped his hands on his apron and followed him into the living room.
I intentionally stayed in the kitchen and idly looked around for something to eat. My mouth had nothing to do, so if I didn’t chew on something, I’d get antsy.
Just as I was rummaging through the fridge and chewing through a tightly-sealed package of beef tendons, I heard a sudden noise from outside. When I poked my head out to look, there was one more man out there with a bloody nose and a swollen face from being badly beaten in the living room. What the fuck? He has the nerve to show up?
And Ke Luo, this not-so-bright guy, actually stood in the distance generously giving them some space to talk at a moment like this. Why the heck was he mimicking me with this noble act of his? Shouldn’t he be standing in front of Shu Nian, in between the two, making a move to fend off Xie Yan?
Shu Nian’s eyes turned red with rage. A bunny will bite if forced into a corner. It was my first time hearing him say so much in one breath.
“I know that women may be able to do things that I can’t do. There are all these problems because I’m not a woman. But don’t tell me it’s your first day realizing I’m a man. If this is a taboo, you shouldn’t have been with me from the very beginning! After all these years, isn’t it too late for you to blame me for being a man?
“I can be greedy too! And I’m selfish as well! There’s no way for me to be generous enough to see you marry someone else and still stay by your side as your secret lover!”
Xie Yan was agitated to the point that his vein was almost exploding. “You’re the one who’s pissing me off! You actually want me to make a decision? Have I ever taken off my ring? Every single person at work knows I’m engaged! It’s because I’m with you that I’m tolerating these things. Otherwise, do you think I like giving my sperm? Do I like having dinner and sharing social niceties with some girl? If it weren’t for you, I wouldn’t be doing any of this!
“How could I marry someone else? I secretly settled the dating matter because I was afraid of worrying you. Xiao Xi’s affair was already painful for you. I didn’t want you to suffer from the pressure again. You have your brother and Ke Luo now. I’m not the best person, and I cause so much trouble. If you can’t bear it anymore and suddenly leave me without a word like before, hiding who knows where, then what am I to do?!”
Shu Nian’s hand shot out and made contact. The sound was loud and clear. He really used all his strength. I stared stupefied.
“Don’t make excuses!”
A grown man like Xie Yan was so unruffled by it that his eyes reddened. “I’m not! Don’t tell me you can put up with my parents continuously coming up with new ways to hinder us from being together! If I abandoned my family and became a penniless good-for-nothing, would you still be able to love me for the rest of your life? I can’t live without you anymore, and I’m so scared of it!”
The useless guy gave him another slap in the face and actually cried out with tears, “You have to realize that I can endure anything. I’ll follow you even if you become a beggar. But you can’t be unfaithful, you can’t lie to me, and you can’t become someone else’s husband! If you really have a change of heart and think someone else is better, then don’t keep me around anymore. Or else I won’t just stand there and just watch you guys be happy.”
The young master of the Xie household, who was slapped twice, tightly embraced him.
Ke Luo silently walked to the door, and I also slipped away without a sound. I closed the door after the two of us walked out to leave some space inside for the two men. Although that guy wasn’t bright, perhaps he didn’t need me to worry about him after all.
Sure enough, it’s better to convey your love out loud. It’s the same even for those who are as much in love with each other as they are. People are full of insecurity. Regardless if it’s Shu Nian or Xie Yan, we are all scared of not being able to completely possess something forever.
The two of us stood awkwardly outside the door for a while. Ke Luo fell into silence. I patted his shoulder. “Let’s go drink. My treat.”
I never would have thought that this time, what seemed like a serious crisis was so easily settled. Bystanders really have no way of understanding the workings of the mind of a person in love.
I felt a little guilty towards Ke Luo. I was the one who had pointlessly instigated him. And, as a result, before he could make his move in time, he was completely defeated yet again.
He was full of hope, but then was killed with one shot. I fucking know the utter feeling of a broken heart all too well! Become a patron at www(dot)patreon(dot)com/dairytea
I took the silent, tall boy into a bar and unrestrainedly ordered some drinks. We sat across from each other drinking one drink after another.
“Come on, let’s have a toast. Uncle Lee gives you an apology. This time it’s Uncle Lee’s fault for making you suffer.”
Ke Luo said, “No, I’m all right.”
“Yes, you’re all right,” I consoled him. “Finish these drinks, sleep it out, and once you get up, you’ll be fine.”
I rambled on as I kept urging him to drink more. But the one who was drinking most vigorously was me. Ke Luo stopped drinking after only two drinks.
“Come on, drink some more. Drink your worries away. Actually, you like Shu Nian so much that you’re even happy for him now that he’s happy, am I right? Spill out all your sorrows right now and I’ll listen. Don’t hesitate to say whatever is on your mind.”
Ke Luo held my glass down. “Lee, you’re drinking too much.”
“Oh, that’s right. It’s you who should be drinking more. I’ll drink with you.”
“I didn’t intend to take advantage of the situation and pursue Shu Nian.”
“Yeah, yeah. Don’t be sad. Xie Yan isn’t as good as you. This was only by luck and chance.”
Ke Luo thought for a moment. “I care about Shu Nian, but even if they break up, I don’t intend to take the opportunity to be together with Shu Nian.”
“Is that so...?”
He said, “I’ve fallen for someone else.”
“What?” I was already more or less drunk as I looked up at him smiling.
“I’ve fallen for someone other than Shu Nian.”
The smile on my face froze. It was as if a loud thunder resounded in my ears, and my head suddenly felt swollen.
“I’m sorry, I have to go. I have something to do.” I quickly pushed out my chair and shot up. I turned around to leave, even forgetting to pay my bill.
I still couldn’t bear it. I wanted to continue acting calm by playing the good senior and drinking with him until dawn.
But it was as if my chest was about to burst open now.
There are three things on earth that you cannot hide: sneezes, poverty, and love.
“Lee, what’s wrong?” Ke Luo was somewhat helpless as he chased after me and grabbed me. His strength was so great that, for a moment, I actually couldn’t walk any farther.
I couldn’t resign myself to it. I couldn’t stand it. He finally wasn’t infatuated with Shu Nian and could love someone else. Was this my punishment for not persevering until the end?
If it was Shu Nian, then I could forget about it. I’d already accepted that. Everything is first come, first served. It was just bad luck that I didn’t meet him when he was seventeen. That was fate.
If he had wanted to offer his entire life to Shu Nian, I would have acknowledged my defeat to that bit of his untainted stubbornness.
But now he was telling me that he had given up.
Yet I had given up before he had told me. In the end, I missed my chance once again.
Just like opening a bottle, I had finally loosened it after exerting all my effort, but as it turned out, the one to open it wasn’t me. I had to watch with eyes wide open as someone else swallowed him down.
I want to fucking cry right now. I always said Shu Nian was useless, but as it turned out, I wasn’t any better than him.
With blood-shot eyes, I seized his collar and took the opportunity to roughly push him against the wall. I could care less about the sidelong glances from the people in the bar.
“Who’s the bastard that cut in line?”
Ke Luo widened his eyes at me. “What?”
“Who have you fallen for? Zhuo Wen Yang? Lin Jing? Or is it someone else?!” I already felt myself losing my mind. “You brat! No matter how you look at it, I should be the one who’s at the front of the line now! Wasn’t I second in line earlier?”
Seeing Ke Luo’s stunned look angered me so much that I couldn’t catch my breath. Perhaps it was all in my mind that I was even second in line. What the fuck is this? What kind of shitty world is this? How fucking pathetic am I?
Not only my chest, but even my head felt swollen as if it was about to split open. Who knew how many years it had been since I’ve had my emotions stirred up like this. My vision turned red.
“Let me tell you, regardless of who it is, it’s all the same! I just want you! If I’m no match for them in some aspects, I will definitely beat them in other aspects! I’ll try harder than anyone else in pursuing you. There is no one in this world that could be more fixated with you. You’ll regret it if you let me slip by you!”
I said it as I gnashed my teeth. My ears were buzzing, and then I forcibly blocked his mouth.
My mouth only touched his, and in an instant, I couldn’t feel anything. The entire world turned pitch black. Spots of bright colors flashed out from the darkness. There was no sense of vision, no sense of hearing. What remained was only the sensation of our tongues touching.
When our lips parted, I felt like my blood pressure was already so high that I was unable to support it. I couldn’t breathe.
Images of Ke Luo seemed to be overlapping a little. I saw his lips move, but I couldn’t hear him.
Next thing I knew, my vision turned dark. It really was completely pitch black.
Within the borderless, muddled tranquility, I faintly heard someone saying something all of a sudden in a very low voice. Aware that my current situation was “right in the middle of waking up,” my heart jumped all at once.
Am I dreaming after all?
I first opened one eye, and then the other eye. The room was empty. A snow-white ceiling, a snow-white bed sheet, a snow-white everything.
Shit, I was taken to a hospital again.
If the hospital fee could accumulate VIP points like at some entertainment places, I probably already would have been a VIP this year and could even exchange points for a great amount of prizes, like a blanket and a tea set.
The door of the room quietly opened, and the person who entered made my heart pound fiercely again for a while.
“Ah, you’re up. Are you feeling a little better?”
I forced myself to calm down. “What happened to me this time?”
Ke Luo sat by my bedside. “You had a sudden heart attack and passed out in the bar.”
I immediately had goosebumps. “Heart attack?! How severe was it?” Am I going to die?
“Ah.” Ke Luo felt somewhat awkward and comforted me by saying, “It’s nothing. Don’t worry. The doctor said that you drank too much and after that, you were…too…excited, so, uh…”
I stiffened on the bed. All of a sudden, I found that I couldn’t show my face to him.
A strong, healthy man like me actually had a sudden heart attack because of him.
I really liked him more than I had originally thought.
We both fell into silence in extreme awkwardness. Ke Luo slightly diverted his gaze, looking elsewhere. His face reddened a little. “Do you really like me that much?”
“….” Do not repost! You should only read this at BLtranslation(dot)blogspot(dot)com.
“Do you truly want to maintain a relationship with me?”
I was ashamed and resentful at the same time. You still ask me that even after I had a heart attack for you? Only read at BLtranslation(dot)blogspot(dot)com.
He sat there quietly for a while with a slightly flushed face, and then bowed his head at me. “I’m sorry, Lee.”
I suddenly felt like I couldn’t breathe and only after I had straightened up a little, did I say, “That’s fine, that’s fine.”
“I’m sorry for making you wait so long. I didn’t realize it in the past…in fact, later on…I just…never had the nerve to say it. And I didn’t know whether you saw through it. I thought I had made it rather clear to you. I should have confessed it early on.”
“It’s all right.” I waved my hand. “You can leave now. I want to sleep.”
Ke Luo sat there not budging, a bit baffled and hesitant. “Lee?”
“I really want to rest. Just leave. Go find that new love of yours.”
“….”
“Although you deserve to be criticized for being fickle, I can understand. What’s more, I don’t believe Shu Nian would mind. Anyway hurry up and leave.” I was more or less certain by now that the person was Lin Jing. I had already long since felt that it wasn’t a typical relationship between them. They lived under the same roof, and the closer you are, the easier it is for you to get what you want. “Even though he’s capricious, perverted, gluttonous, lazy, has a bad mouth, loves to spend money recklessly, and is absent-minded when doing things, he’s not bad at heart. You should cherish him well. Oh, yeah, remember to get the door on your way out.”
Ke Luo showed an awkward and somewhat enduring expression. “Lee, even though I don’t think what you’ve said is wrong at all…”
“Huh?” Read full chapter at BLtranslation(dot)blogspot(dot)com.
“But are you sure you haven’t gotten the wrong person? Did you hear what I told you last night?”
“….”
“Uh, do you really evaluate yourself like that?”
“…!”
“Lee?”
“.…”
“Are you okay?”
“.…”
“Doctor, doctor! I think he’s having a stroke!”
Chapter Twenty Part Three
“Shu Nian, Ke Luo has something to say to you.”
Ke Luo was a bit hesitant. I shot him a “give-it-your-all” look and, with a twist of my mouth and a wrinkle of my nose, gestured him to go on over.
After Ke Luo slightly dithered for a while, he finally said, “Yeah, let’s talk in the living room.”
Shu Nian looked at me, and then looked at him. He wiped his hands on his apron and followed him into the living room.
I intentionally stayed in the kitchen and idly looked around for something to eat. My mouth had nothing to do, so if I didn’t chew on something, I’d get antsy.
Just as I was rummaging through the fridge and chewing through a tightly-sealed package of beef tendons, I heard a sudden noise from outside. When I poked my head out to look, there was one more man out there with a bloody nose and a swollen face from being badly beaten in the living room. What the fuck? He has the nerve to show up?
And Ke Luo, this not-so-bright guy, actually stood in the distance generously giving them some space to talk at a moment like this. Why the heck was he mimicking me with this noble act of his? Shouldn’t he be standing in front of Shu Nian, in between the two, making a move to fend off Xie Yan?
Shu Nian’s eyes turned red with rage. A bunny will bite if forced into a corner. It was my first time hearing him say so much in one breath.
“I know that women may be able to do things that I can’t do. There are all these problems because I’m not a woman. But don’t tell me it’s your first day realizing I’m a man. If this is a taboo, you shouldn’t have been with me from the very beginning! After all these years, isn’t it too late for you to blame me for being a man?
“I can be greedy too! And I’m selfish as well! There’s no way for me to be generous enough to see you marry someone else and still stay by your side as your secret lover!”
Xie Yan was agitated to the point that his vein was almost exploding. “You’re the one who’s pissing me off! You actually want me to make a decision? Have I ever taken off my ring? Every single person at work knows I’m engaged! It’s because I’m with you that I’m tolerating these things. Otherwise, do you think I like giving my sperm? Do I like having dinner and sharing social niceties with some girl? If it weren’t for you, I wouldn’t be doing any of this!
“How could I marry someone else? I secretly settled the dating matter because I was afraid of worrying you. Xiao Xi’s affair was already painful for you. I didn’t want you to suffer from the pressure again. You have your brother and Ke Luo now. I’m not the best person, and I cause so much trouble. If you can’t bear it anymore and suddenly leave me without a word like before, hiding who knows where, then what am I to do?!”
Shu Nian’s hand shot out and made contact. The sound was loud and clear. He really used all his strength. I stared stupefied.
“Don’t make excuses!”
A grown man like Xie Yan was so unruffled by it that his eyes reddened. “I’m not! Don’t tell me you can put up with my parents continuously coming up with new ways to hinder us from being together! If I abandoned my family and became a penniless good-for-nothing, would you still be able to love me for the rest of your life? I can’t live without you anymore, and I’m so scared of it!”
The useless guy gave him another slap in the face and actually cried out with tears, “You have to realize that I can endure anything. I’ll follow you even if you become a beggar. But you can’t be unfaithful, you can’t lie to me, and you can’t become someone else’s husband! If you really have a change of heart and think someone else is better, then don’t keep me around anymore. Or else I won’t just stand there and just watch you guys be happy.”
The young master of the Xie household, who was slapped twice, tightly embraced him.
Ke Luo silently walked to the door, and I also slipped away without a sound. I closed the door after the two of us walked out to leave some space inside for the two men. Although that guy wasn’t bright, perhaps he didn’t need me to worry about him after all.
Sure enough, it’s better to convey your love out loud. It’s the same even for those who are as much in love with each other as they are. People are full of insecurity. Regardless if it’s Shu Nian or Xie Yan, we are all scared of not being able to completely possess something forever.
The two of us stood awkwardly outside the door for a while. Ke Luo fell into silence. I patted his shoulder. “Let’s go drink. My treat.”
I never would have thought that this time, what seemed like a serious crisis was so easily settled. Bystanders really have no way of understanding the workings of the mind of a person in love.
I felt a little guilty towards Ke Luo. I was the one who had pointlessly instigated him. And, as a result, before he could make his move in time, he was completely defeated yet again.
He was full of hope, but then was killed with one shot. I fucking know the utter feeling of a broken heart all too well! Become a patron at www(dot)patreon(dot)com/dairytea
I took the silent, tall boy into a bar and unrestrainedly ordered some drinks. We sat across from each other drinking one drink after another.
“Come on, let’s have a toast. Uncle Lee gives you an apology. This time it’s Uncle Lee’s fault for making you suffer.”
Ke Luo said, “No, I’m all right.”
“Yes, you’re all right,” I consoled him. “Finish these drinks, sleep it out, and once you get up, you’ll be fine.”
I rambled on as I kept urging him to drink more. But the one who was drinking most vigorously was me. Ke Luo stopped drinking after only two drinks.
“Come on, drink some more. Drink your worries away. Actually, you like Shu Nian so much that you’re even happy for him now that he’s happy, am I right? Spill out all your sorrows right now and I’ll listen. Don’t hesitate to say whatever is on your mind.”
Ke Luo held my glass down. “Lee, you’re drinking too much.”
“Oh, that’s right. It’s you who should be drinking more. I’ll drink with you.”
“I didn’t intend to take advantage of the situation and pursue Shu Nian.”
“Yeah, yeah. Don’t be sad. Xie Yan isn’t as good as you. This was only by luck and chance.”
Ke Luo thought for a moment. “I care about Shu Nian, but even if they break up, I don’t intend to take the opportunity to be together with Shu Nian.”
“Is that so...?”
He said, “I’ve fallen for someone else.”
“What?” I was already more or less drunk as I looked up at him smiling.
“I’ve fallen for someone other than Shu Nian.”
The smile on my face froze. It was as if a loud thunder resounded in my ears, and my head suddenly felt swollen.
“I’m sorry, I have to go. I have something to do.” I quickly pushed out my chair and shot up. I turned around to leave, even forgetting to pay my bill.
I still couldn’t bear it. I wanted to continue acting calm by playing the good senior and drinking with him until dawn.
But it was as if my chest was about to burst open now.
There are three things on earth that you cannot hide: sneezes, poverty, and love.
“Lee, what’s wrong?” Ke Luo was somewhat helpless as he chased after me and grabbed me. His strength was so great that, for a moment, I actually couldn’t walk any farther.
I couldn’t resign myself to it. I couldn’t stand it. He finally wasn’t infatuated with Shu Nian and could love someone else. Was this my punishment for not persevering until the end?
If it was Shu Nian, then I could forget about it. I’d already accepted that. Everything is first come, first served. It was just bad luck that I didn’t meet him when he was seventeen. That was fate.
If he had wanted to offer his entire life to Shu Nian, I would have acknowledged my defeat to that bit of his untainted stubbornness.
But now he was telling me that he had given up.
Yet I had given up before he had told me. In the end, I missed my chance once again.
Just like opening a bottle, I had finally loosened it after exerting all my effort, but as it turned out, the one to open it wasn’t me. I had to watch with eyes wide open as someone else swallowed him down.
I want to fucking cry right now. I always said Shu Nian was useless, but as it turned out, I wasn’t any better than him.
With blood-shot eyes, I seized his collar and took the opportunity to roughly push him against the wall. I could care less about the sidelong glances from the people in the bar.
“Who’s the bastard that cut in line?”
Ke Luo widened his eyes at me. “What?”
“Who have you fallen for? Zhuo Wen Yang? Lin Jing? Or is it someone else?!” I already felt myself losing my mind. “You brat! No matter how you look at it, I should be the one who’s at the front of the line now! Wasn’t I second in line earlier?”
Seeing Ke Luo’s stunned look angered me so much that I couldn’t catch my breath. Perhaps it was all in my mind that I was even second in line. What the fuck is this? What kind of shitty world is this? How fucking pathetic am I?
Not only my chest, but even my head felt swollen as if it was about to split open. Who knew how many years it had been since I’ve had my emotions stirred up like this. My vision turned red.
“Let me tell you, regardless of who it is, it’s all the same! I just want you! If I’m no match for them in some aspects, I will definitely beat them in other aspects! I’ll try harder than anyone else in pursuing you. There is no one in this world that could be more fixated with you. You’ll regret it if you let me slip by you!”
I said it as I gnashed my teeth. My ears were buzzing, and then I forcibly blocked his mouth.
My mouth only touched his, and in an instant, I couldn’t feel anything. The entire world turned pitch black. Spots of bright colors flashed out from the darkness. There was no sense of vision, no sense of hearing. What remained was only the sensation of our tongues touching.
When our lips parted, I felt like my blood pressure was already so high that I was unable to support it. I couldn’t breathe.
Images of Ke Luo seemed to be overlapping a little. I saw his lips move, but I couldn’t hear him.
Next thing I knew, my vision turned dark. It really was completely pitch black.
Within the borderless, muddled tranquility, I faintly heard someone saying something all of a sudden in a very low voice. Aware that my current situation was “right in the middle of waking up,” my heart jumped all at once.
Am I dreaming after all?
I first opened one eye, and then the other eye. The room was empty. A snow-white ceiling, a snow-white bed sheet, a snow-white everything.
Shit, I was taken to a hospital again.
If the hospital fee could accumulate VIP points like at some entertainment places, I probably already would have been a VIP this year and could even exchange points for a great amount of prizes, like a blanket and a tea set.
The door of the room quietly opened, and the person who entered made my heart pound fiercely again for a while.
“Ah, you’re up. Are you feeling a little better?”
I forced myself to calm down. “What happened to me this time?”
Ke Luo sat by my bedside. “You had a sudden heart attack and passed out in the bar.”
I immediately had goosebumps. “Heart attack?! How severe was it?” Am I going to die?
“Ah.” Ke Luo felt somewhat awkward and comforted me by saying, “It’s nothing. Don’t worry. The doctor said that you drank too much and after that, you were…too…excited, so, uh…”
I stiffened on the bed. All of a sudden, I found that I couldn’t show my face to him.
A strong, healthy man like me actually had a sudden heart attack because of him.
I really liked him more than I had originally thought.
We both fell into silence in extreme awkwardness. Ke Luo slightly diverted his gaze, looking elsewhere. His face reddened a little. “Do you really like me that much?”
“….” Do not repost! You should only read this at BLtranslation(dot)blogspot(dot)com.
“Do you truly want to maintain a relationship with me?”
I was ashamed and resentful at the same time. You still ask me that even after I had a heart attack for you? Only read at BLtranslation(dot)blogspot(dot)com.
He sat there quietly for a while with a slightly flushed face, and then bowed his head at me. “I’m sorry, Lee.”
I suddenly felt like I couldn’t breathe and only after I had straightened up a little, did I say, “That’s fine, that’s fine.”
“I’m sorry for making you wait so long. I didn’t realize it in the past…in fact, later on…I just…never had the nerve to say it. And I didn’t know whether you saw through it. I thought I had made it rather clear to you. I should have confessed it early on.”
“It’s all right.” I waved my hand. “You can leave now. I want to sleep.”
Ke Luo sat there not budging, a bit baffled and hesitant. “Lee?”
“I really want to rest. Just leave. Go find that new love of yours.”
“….”
“Although you deserve to be criticized for being fickle, I can understand. What’s more, I don’t believe Shu Nian would mind. Anyway hurry up and leave.” I was more or less certain by now that the person was Lin Jing. I had already long since felt that it wasn’t a typical relationship between them. They lived under the same roof, and the closer you are, the easier it is for you to get what you want. “Even though he’s capricious, perverted, gluttonous, lazy, has a bad mouth, loves to spend money recklessly, and is absent-minded when doing things, he’s not bad at heart. You should cherish him well. Oh, yeah, remember to get the door on your way out.”
Ke Luo showed an awkward and somewhat enduring expression. “Lee, even though I don’t think what you’ve said is wrong at all…”
“Huh?” Read full chapter at BLtranslation(dot)blogspot(dot)com.
“But are you sure you haven’t gotten the wrong person? Did you hear what I told you last night?”
“….”
“Uh, do you really evaluate yourself like that?”
“…!”
“Lee?”
“.…”
“Are you okay?”
“.…”
“Doctor, doctor! I think he’s having a stroke!”
