It was around the time when that boy eventually gave me permission, saying “Just Eddy is fine”, and my tongue got used to that nickname.
.
It was fun to spend time with that boy who was far more mature than his actual age and appearance…no, to be precise, it was easy.
I didn’t mean that it was because we’re a good match. It was simply because, on the decided days that that boy would come, other kids wouldn’t come, so the burden was a lot lighter.
.
Why did no other kids come? It’s easy to guess. It’s natural. Even my brother who was three years younger than me, instinctively knew what the meaning of black hair. I guess that’s why whenever I was together with that boy, my brother who usually always clung to me never tried to get close to us.
.
Because even my brother who should have gotten used to Lancent oji-sama was like that, it’s easy to imagine other kids from families that didn’t have many interaction with magician.
Once, they came across each other and it was so terrible. So terrible, really.
In contrast with the kids who had begun bawling, forget crying, that boy didn’t even open his mouth or say any words. What kind of situation is this, I really want someone to tell me the answer.
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Such being the case, on days that boy were to come, we would always be alone together. And I too was slightly looking forward to those days.
.
When I was with that boy, who seldom talked and didn’t laugh nor cry, I was released from the position of an ‘excellent onee-san’, and that was comfortable.
Although it might sound heartless for me to say this, but he kept things on his side and didn’t tactlessly interfere me, and since he had never said any objection about being together with me, who was just someone that read books together with him, it could be said that we’re even.
.
If I were to phrase it in a child-like expression, then it would be [the closest friend]. It didn’t take long for our relationship to turn like that. Well, even if I said close, as I’ve mentioned before, we’re only in a relationship where we’re just reading books together, and the only conversations we sometimes had were all about that boy’s questions and then me answering them.
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Two years since then.
My relationship with him was going favorably. There was no change, and the days where we repeated the things I mentioned before were calm and peaceful.
And it was also the time when I was dragged into that boy’s accidental discharge of magic.
.
No, saying dragged into is a wrong expression. After all, it was also my fault. No matter how much I regret it, my sin would never be erased.
Never had I thought that that boy could invoke the magic just from reading that book. That was unmistakably my real thoughts, but after what happened, it was nothing but a late excuse.
.
Since this is the mansion of Chief Administrator of Grimoire, there are advanced level magic books being kept here.
Originally, those grimoires weren’t something we could put our hands on, however that boy rapidly catching up to me, and I wanted to act like a senior even for just a little bit. Even if our height and age were the same, but the inside should have a difference like parent and child, so I became stubborn. Really, that was such a shameful thing to do.
.
Going into father’s study room, I took out that book as I please. That grimoire was filled with notes about fire magic, and when we read it side by side together, a sketch of a flame beast caught my eyes.
The thing essential for magic is the existence of the spirits that are usually couldn’t be seen by eye. Among them, calling out a high ranking spirit that was said to rarely respond to a magician’s summon then made it retained its form in this world was said to be almost impossible to do.
Without understanding that, I was just entranced by the beauty of that illustration’s flame beast , magic is really incredible, and spoke such a-matter-of-course things.
Seeing such me, that taciturn boy unusually called out my name clearly.
.
“…Filimina, you”
“What’s the matter?”
“Filimina, you want to see that?”
.
I didn’t realize it. That those morning glow eyes were thoroughly sincere and serious. I should have realized it. I shouldn’t have not realized it. However, I couldn’t realize it. That’s why, I answered that boy’s question without any doubt. I want to see it, I said.
.
Perhaps there is no need to say what came after that. Summoned by that boy’s magic power, the beast with a refined flame body appeared, then rushed on to attack him mercilessly for daring to summon it despite his lack of ability. At that time I screamed.
.
──────────EDDY!
.
I could remember clearly only until the part where I called his name. After that it was kind of vague, which was because I protected him and my back was hit by that beast’s flame.
Due to shock and astonishment, that boy’s magic power was swirling like a vortex and enveloping the surroundings, as everything was swallowed up by that power, I just kept on repeating “It’s alright”. It’s alright. It’s really alright. It’s going to be alright.
.
Like that, my consciousness fade off and when I woke up later, I was on top of my bed in my room. My father was there. My mother was there. My younger brother was there. My wet nurse was there.
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It seemed, it was like the time when I was down from an epidemic…in short, I was bedridden for a week. The pain I felt on my back, testified that the flame was not just an illusion.
Father sighed out in relief, mother and the wet nurse were moved to tears, and my brother was clinging to me saying aneue, aneue!, while the first thing I said was, naturally, about that boy.
.
My whole family all said, you don’t need to worry about him, however it’s impossible. It wasn’t like I was angry. It wasn’t like I want him to apologize. It was just, I was concerned about his safety, simply that. Because it was simply that, wasn’t it inevitable that I got even more worried if you told me not to worry?
.
Sensing that I wasn’t going to concede about it, father erased his usual smile and told me that that boy was going to the Magic Academy.
.
Magic Academy. That was as its name suggested, a school for learning magic with a dormitory system.
A school where those with magic talent gathered, and it was said since the moment that boy was decided to enroll there, he had confined himself within his room in the Lancent mansion, refusing to even take any meal.
.
What’s with that. Even though he has finally plumped up, will he do something foolish as to return to his former skinny body!? I remember I was filled with irritation at that time. Thus, in order to clear away that irritation, I immediately decided to charge into the Lancent mansion.
.
Well, of course, I was stopped. I was even stopped by Lancent oji-sama who had come to apologize, but I just couldn’t agree with that.
Even if the claw mark I received from that flame beast had carved a scar on my back that wouldn’t heal despite using recovery magic, but it was the same for that boy… Even about anger, there was nothing like that. It was true that I was irritated. But it was not towards that boy, but towards myself. No matter how irresponsible I had been living my life, I intended to accept that the responsibility I had was correlative to my age. And through this case, I was made to clearly realize that it was truly no more than [intended].
.
Even so, no, that’s why, as if I could let that boy carry it all by himself─────it’s not as if I have such cool determination though.
That kind of troublesome thing should be left alone and let some [main character] who wanted to do something about it do it.
.
How should I say it. For a fact, indeed I recognized that it was my negligence in supervision, and I had also pointed it out clearly to father. Well, rather than that, father was regretting the fact that he had left the grimoire carelessly.
Was it simply the sense of responsibility of the ‘older one’? Or was it due to the friendship we had built up till then? Or rather, was it due to other reason I couldn’t think of? I wonder why did I at that time forced myself to that extent to go towards the Lancent mansion?
I still don’t understand it even until this very moment. Because I didn’t even remember it in detail, perhaps for me it was just to that degree after all.
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Anyhow, as soon as my condition was getting better, I visited Lancent mansion, and stood up alone in front of the door to the room that boy was confining himself in.
Since I didn’t want anyone to obstruct me, I again forced myself in this one-man battle.
Both my parents and my wet nurse, who were left in Adina mansion had told me many times to not force myself to do the impossible, and Lancent oji-sama who had brought me here was also of the same opinion, but that’s actually the impossible one. After all, for me at that time, just by standing up I’ve already at my limit.
.
“How do you do, Eguiédills-sama. Filimina via Adina has come to visit after getting up from my sickbed”
.
It’s a sarcastic greetings even if I do say so myself. However it only meant that I did not have such composure at the time, so please overlook it.
There was no answer from inside the room. However, instead, there was a sound of something falling on the floor beyond the door. Although I didn’t see him, but I felt I know, that that boy was holding his breath and trying to find out about my condition.
.
“…Eddy. You can hear me, can’t you? Please open the door”
.
I knocked three times. There was also no answer to my second call. Even if I pushed or pulled the door, he just kept his silence.
What, is this Amano-iwato? If that’s the case is that boy Amaterasu-oomikami? Then, are you saying that taking off my clothes and dancing here is my role!?[1] It was a joke I really couldn’t laugh at.
No matter how much the painkiller was applied and how much medicine I drank, and even then I still had Lancent oji-sama casted an appeasing recovery magic on me, it didn’t mean the pain of the burnt on my back had disappeared. The doctor had clearly diagnosed that the pain would still continue for awhile.
That’s right, it hurt. Stinging stinging stinging stinging, it was painful, so painful that cold sweat was pouring out.
.
That pain, and that boy’s soundless voice, ignited my belligerence.
.
“I said, open up this door! ～～～～～oUCh─!!!”
.
Bang! the moment I banged on the door, I felt so much pain that my vision was getting all white. I saw a spark before my eyes, and felt that I could hear the sound of my back burning as I involuntarily dropped down and sat down on that place.
Aah, yes, it hurt so much. My hand that banged on the door also hurt, but my back hurt much more. As if it was something that didn’t concern me, my face warped due to the pain. It hurts, it hurts, it hurts. That was the only thing inside my head.
.
Towards me, a small pale hand was extended.
.
“Filimina!?”
.
That hand belonged to the boy who should have been inside that room. My field of vision was distorted by tears, but even so that boy was still beautiful.
How long had he not sleep, I wonder? On that beautiful and young face, there were unsuitable black circle around his eyes. He was making a face as if he’s going to cry, a face that seemed to be in a greater pain and agony than me.
With a frantic expression, even though he was smaller than me, he held my almost collapsing body in his arms.
.
“Filimina, are you alright!? ─!?”
“…I’ve, caught you”
.
Grabbing that thin arm, when I showed him my smile, that about-to-cry face of him got even worse. His morning glow eyes were wavering. Even though I didn’t want to see that kind of face.
.
“It’s been, awhile”
“─I’m sorr-“
“Please don’t apologize”
.
It’s not like I want you to apologize. That alone is not a joke at all. After all, isn’t that so? The one who need to apologize is…
.
“I’m sorry, Eddy. Will you please, play together with me again?”
“…Why?”
.
His voice was trembling. For what? Why? More eloquent than his words, his eyes were showing his doubt. To what kind of [why] did his word [why] meant , I don’t understand. I didn’t understand, but…
.
“Why or whatever it is. I like you after all”
.
If it were not for it, I wouldn’t come here. If it were not for it, with how limited our conversation was during this span of two years, I wouldn’t want to be with you.
.
Two years. It was two years.
Although it might not be a long time, but on the other hand it was not a short time either. During that time, I knew that that boy’s character was nothing like his angel or fairy appearance.
At the beginning, perhaps since his emotions couldn’t catch up, he was emotionless and I really couldn’t understand what he was thinking at all.
However gradually, even if it was little by little, his facial expression began to change. And sometimes, he’d let a smile showed on his face.
That smile was really a slight, small one as though a drop of morning dew on a green leaf, even so, sometimes that boy would smile. He had become able to show his smile. Yes, for example when I was making a mistake when reading the grimoire. Or when I was stumbling from tripping on my own dress.
.
─────Aah, so not cute. Even when I recall it, he’s completely not cute.
What are you enjoying someone else’s failure for, damn it! I don’t know whether the blame was due to his poor upbringing, or whether it was his personality by nature, but anyway, he was actually a boy that had not a single fragment of being cute.
Come to think of it, that’s right. A glimpse of that man’s personality had actually been shown since that time. A nonexistent childishness, just a mature boy.
.
No, that boy is not [mature]. That boy was already an adult. Surely, at the age of nine, that boy was already an adult much more than me.
That boy had never said any complaint or selfishness, on the contrary, you could easily count the times he had ever said his real feelings.
And that same boy, had went to this extent. He had become so desperate, to this extent, for me. And more than anything, that was the answer.
.
“Filimina, are you fine, with that?”
“That’s perfectly fine”[1]
.
Smile. Using all stubbornness and willpower, make a smile. No matter how unbecoming the smile as I endured the pain was, I smiled.
Then just as I was to lose consciousness, the last thing I saw was as expected his almost crying face, and his lips forming the words “of course”.
.
Then when I woke up, I was once more on the bed of my room in Adina’s mansion.
I received severe scolding from both my parents and my wet nurse, even though we have told you not to push yourself to that extent, why does it still ended up like this! Even mother who was usually so gentle, had her droopy eyes turned sharp, “Shall I bind you to your bed?” and said a line befitting a queen from somewhere else.
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Thus, after bedridden for another week, I finally got the permit to get off from my bed. It was around that time that the day of that boy’s departure to Magic Academy came.
.
In the end, whether the incident with me happened or not, the decision for that boy to go to the Magic Academy had been determined. It was just that his departure day was being hastened a bit, it was just that.
Although my do-or-die charge at Lancent mansion might be partly due to me jumping to conclusion, for the time being let’s consider that everything was all right in the end. Amano-iwato was opened, and rather than sun goddess, a night fairy turned up from within the cave after all.
As I went to see him off together with my parents and brother at the Lancent mansion, that boy’s morning glow eyes were staring straight at me as he said this.
.
“Filimina”
“What is it?”
“Will you wait for me?”
“Yes, of course”
.
At that time, I believed that he meant he was going to come home to Lancent mansion during long vacation and held no doubt about it at all.
Until then it would take few months at most, however for a nine years old kid it might seemed like a long time, but anyhow my inner self was in my forties after all. Since it was not that long, there’s no way I would forget his face, so I nodded.
Beside us, Lancent oji-sama was nodding his head happily, father was making a face like it was the world’s end, mother was consoling father, and my brother was sleeping soundly within my mother’s arms.
.
Thus that boy went to the Magic Academy.
It was said that he had gotten the highest score at the entrance exam, and became the youngest to enter into the academy.
.
Well, you surely have gotten it, haven’t you? It was something I hadn’t realized, but at this moment, it seems, that boy…that man and my engagement was finalized.
For me, I didn’t nod with that intention in the least, in the first place I didn’t even think that that boy had such intention when he said those words. But, even if I didn’t think so much about it, I should have been able to understand that those words held such meaning. If only I had been able to understand what it meant, I would definitely not agree to those words.
.
Originally, it was not that unusual for children below the age of ten to already have a fiancé or fiancée within the community of the nobles. With political marriage being a common thing, Adina House with its peculiarity of being a family that succeeds the title of Chief Administrator of Grimiore also has the opinion that it’s better for the engagement partner to be decided soon, and even a nine years old like me had a clear understanding about that notion.
.
Frankly speaking, Adina House is an excellent article. Although not that flashy, but as long as we do not do any thoughtless thing we would never fall down to ruin, and in return for not being able to directly interfere with politics, we were promised a certain position.
And the first daughter of that house is me. Naturally I am also an excellent article. For me it was the boys, but for my little brother it was the girls, the nobles’ children brought by their parents to our house would cling to us with that reason.
.
However the burn mark that scarred my back was judged impossible to disappear no matter how advanced the medical technology or recovery magic would be in the future, and that truth was still carved on my back.
The idea of magic has strongly took root, making up one’s livelihood, and in this country that put an emphasis on the existence of spirit, receiving a scar from spirit was something to be loathed.
Moreover it was only about scar made by lower rank spirit, which could possibly disappear if you leave it alone, and mine was all the more since the scar was made by high ranking spirit who each possessed an individual true name.
I don’t think there is anyone with strange taste that would especially choose to take me as a bride by their own choice.
.
My popular life had met its end right there. In return, I became the fiancée of that beautiful night fairy-like boy.
.
I bear a scar that would not disappear for a lifetime on my back, but at the same time, that boy was made to bear a heavy cross on his small back.
[1]This is full of Japanese legend reference! Amano-iwato is a rock cave where Amaterasu confined herself and refused to come out after fighting with Susanoo. To lure her to come out, other Gods threw a party outside the cave. Ama-no-uzume then undressed and danced, causing the other Gods to laugh. The festivity grabbed Amaterasu’s attention, so she peeked out of the cave↵
[2] Something lost in translation. Eddy asked,「フィリミナは、それで、いいのか」indicating are you fine with me / liking me? and Filimina answered 「それが、いいのです」, literally means That (referring to Eddy or her liking Eddy) is precisely what is fine (for me) or could also be interpreted as That is precisely what I want / hope↵
It was around the time when that boy eventually gave me permission, saying “Just Eddy is fine”, and my tongue got used to that nickname.
.
It was fun to spend time with that boy who was far more mature than his actual age and appearance…no, to be precise, it was easy.
I didn’t mean that it was because we’re a good match. It was simply because, on the decided days that that boy would come, other kids wouldn’t come, so the burden was a lot lighter.
.
Why did no other kids come? It’s easy to guess. It’s natural. Even my brother who was three years younger than me, instinctively knew what the meaning of black hair. I guess that’s why whenever I was together with that boy, my brother who usually always clung to me never tried to get close to us.
.
Because even my brother who should have gotten used to Lancent oji-sama was like that, it’s easy to imagine other kids from families that didn’t have many interaction with magician.
Once, they came across each other and it was so terrible. So terrible, really.
In contrast with the kids who had begun bawling, forget crying, that boy didn’t even open his mouth or say any words. What kind of situation is this, I really want someone to tell me the answer.
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Such being the case, on days that boy were to come, we would always be alone together. And I too was slightly looking forward to those days.
.
When I was with that boy, who seldom talked and didn’t laugh nor cry, I was released from the position of an ‘excellent onee-san’, and that was comfortable.
Although it might sound heartless for me to say this, but he kept things on his side and didn’t tactlessly interfere me, and since he had never said any objection about being together with me, who was just someone that read books together with him, it could be said that we’re even.
.
If I were to phrase it in a child-like expression, then it would be [the closest friend]. It didn’t take long for our relationship to turn like that. Well, even if I said close, as I’ve mentioned before, we’re only in a relationship where we’re just reading books together, and the only conversations we sometimes had were all about that boy’s questions and then me answering them.
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Two years since then.
My relationship with him was going favorably. There was no change, and the days where we repeated the things I mentioned before were calm and peaceful.
And it was also the time when I was dragged into that boy’s accidental discharge of magic.
.
No, saying dragged into is a wrong expression. After all, it was also my fault. No matter how much I regret it, my sin would never be erased.
Never had I thought that that boy could invoke the magic just from reading that book. That was unmistakably my real thoughts, but after what happened, it was nothing but a late excuse.
.
Since this is the mansion of Chief Administrator of Grimoire, there are advanced level magic books being kept here.
Originally, those grimoires weren’t something we could put our hands on, however that boy rapidly catching up to me, and I wanted to act like a senior even for just a little bit. Even if our height and age were the same, but the inside should have a difference like parent and child, so I became stubborn. Really, that was such a shameful thing to do.
.
Going into father’s study room, I took out that book as I please. That grimoire was filled with notes about fire magic, and when we read it side by side together, a sketch of a flame beast caught my eyes.
The thing essential for magic is the existence of the spirits that are usually couldn’t be seen by eye. Among them, calling out a high ranking spirit that was said to rarely respond to a magician’s summon then made it retained its form in this world was said to be almost impossible to do.
Without understanding that, I was just entranced by the beauty of that illustration’s flame beast , magic is really incredible, and spoke such a-matter-of-course things.
Seeing such me, that taciturn boy unusually called out my name clearly.
.
“…Filimina, you”
“What’s the matter?”
“Filimina, you want to see that?”
.
I didn’t realize it. That those morning glow eyes were thoroughly sincere and serious. I should have realized it. I shouldn’t have not realized it. However, I couldn’t realize it. That’s why, I answered that boy’s question without any doubt. I want to see it, I said.
.
Perhaps there is no need to say what came after that. Summoned by that boy’s magic power, the beast with a refined flame body appeared, then rushed on to attack him mercilessly for daring to summon it despite his lack of ability. At that time I screamed.
.
──────────EDDY!
.
I could remember clearly only until the part where I called his name. After that it was kind of vague, which was because I protected him and my back was hit by that beast’s flame.
Due to shock and astonishment, that boy’s magic power was swirling like a vortex and enveloping the surroundings, as everything was swallowed up by that power, I just kept on repeating “It’s alright”. It’s alright. It’s really alright. It’s going to be alright.
.
Like that, my consciousness fade off and when I woke up later, I was on top of my bed in my room. My father was there. My mother was there. My younger brother was there. My wet nurse was there.
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It seemed, it was like the time when I was down from an epidemic…in short, I was bedridden for a week. The pain I felt on my back, testified that the flame was not just an illusion.
Father sighed out in relief, mother and the wet nurse were moved to tears, and my brother was clinging to me saying aneue, aneue!, while the first thing I said was, naturally, about that boy.
.
My whole family all said, you don’t need to worry about him, however it’s impossible. It wasn’t like I was angry. It wasn’t like I want him to apologize. It was just, I was concerned about his safety, simply that. Because it was simply that, wasn’t it inevitable that I got even more worried if you told me not to worry?
.
Sensing that I wasn’t going to concede about it, father erased his usual smile and told me that that boy was going to the Magic Academy.
.
Magic Academy. That was as its name suggested, a school for learning magic with a dormitory system.
A school where those with magic talent gathered, and it was said since the moment that boy was decided to enroll there, he had confined himself within his room in the Lancent mansion, refusing to even take any meal.
.
What’s with that. Even though he has finally plumped up, will he do something foolish as to return to his former skinny body!? I remember I was filled with irritation at that time. Thus, in order to clear away that irritation, I immediately decided to charge into the Lancent mansion.
.
Well, of course, I was stopped. I was even stopped by Lancent oji-sama who had come to apologize, but I just couldn’t agree with that.
Even if the claw mark I received from that flame beast had carved a scar on my back that wouldn’t heal despite using recovery magic, but it was the same for that boy… Even about anger, there was nothing like that. It was true that I was irritated. But it was not towards that boy, but towards myself. No matter how irresponsible I had been living my life, I intended to accept that the responsibility I had was correlative to my age. And through this case, I was made to clearly realize that it was truly no more than [intended].
.
Even so, no, that’s why, as if I could let that boy carry it all by himself─────it’s not as if I have such cool determination though.
That kind of troublesome thing should be left alone and let some [main character] who wanted to do something about it do it.
.
How should I say it. For a fact, indeed I recognized that it was my negligence in supervision, and I had also pointed it out clearly to father. Well, rather than that, father was regretting the fact that he had left the grimoire carelessly.
Was it simply the sense of responsibility of the ‘older one’? Or was it due to the friendship we had built up till then? Or rather, was it due to other reason I couldn’t think of? I wonder why did I at that time forced myself to that extent to go towards the Lancent mansion?
I still don’t understand it even until this very moment. Because I didn’t even remember it in detail, perhaps for me it was just to that degree after all.
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Anyhow, as soon as my condition was getting better, I visited Lancent mansion, and stood up alone in front of the door to the room that boy was confining himself in.
Since I didn’t want anyone to obstruct me, I again forced myself in this one-man battle.
Both my parents and my wet nurse, who were left in Adina mansion had told me many times to not force myself to do the impossible, and Lancent oji-sama who had brought me here was also of the same opinion, but that’s actually the impossible one. After all, for me at that time, just by standing up I’ve already at my limit.
.
“How do you do, Eguiédills-sama. Filimina via Adina has come to visit after getting up from my sickbed”
.
It’s a sarcastic greetings even if I do say so myself. However it only meant that I did not have such composure at the time, so please overlook it.
There was no answer from inside the room. However, instead, there was a sound of something falling on the floor beyond the door. Although I didn’t see him, but I felt I know, that that boy was holding his breath and trying to find out about my condition.
.
“…Eddy. You can hear me, can’t you? Please open the door”
.
I knocked three times. There was also no answer to my second call. Even if I pushed or pulled the door, he just kept his silence.
What, is this Amano-iwato? If that’s the case is that boy Amaterasu-oomikami? Then, are you saying that taking off my clothes and dancing here is my role!?[1] It was a joke I really couldn’t laugh at.
No matter how much the painkiller was applied and how much medicine I drank, and even then I still had Lancent oji-sama casted an appeasing recovery magic on me, it didn’t mean the pain of the burnt on my back had disappeared. The doctor had clearly diagnosed that the pain would still continue for awhile.
That’s right, it hurt. Stinging stinging stinging stinging, it was painful, so painful that cold sweat was pouring out.
.
That pain, and that boy’s soundless voice, ignited my belligerence.
.
“I said, open up this door! ～～～～～oUCh─!!!”
.
Bang! the moment I banged on the door, I felt so much pain that my vision was getting all white. I saw a spark before my eyes, and felt that I could hear the sound of my back burning as I involuntarily dropped down and sat down on that place.
Aah, yes, it hurt so much. My hand that banged on the door also hurt, but my back hurt much more. As if it was something that didn’t concern me, my face warped due to the pain. It hurts, it hurts, it hurts. That was the only thing inside my head.
.
Towards me, a small pale hand was extended.
.
“Filimina!?”
.
That hand belonged to the boy who should have been inside that room. My field of vision was distorted by tears, but even so that boy was still beautiful.
How long had he not sleep, I wonder? On that beautiful and young face, there were unsuitable black circle around his eyes. He was making a face as if he’s going to cry, a face that seemed to be in a greater pain and agony than me.
With a frantic expression, even though he was smaller than me, he held my almost collapsing body in his arms.
.
“Filimina, are you alright!? ─!?”
“…I’ve, caught you”
.
Grabbing that thin arm, when I showed him my smile, that about-to-cry face of him got even worse. His morning glow eyes were wavering. Even though I didn’t want to see that kind of face.
.
“It’s been, awhile”
“─I’m sorr-“
“Please don’t apologize”
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It’s not like I want you to apologize. That alone is not a joke at all. After all, isn’t that so? The one who need to apologize is…
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“I’m sorry, Eddy. Will you please, play together with me again?”
“…Why?”
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His voice was trembling. For what? Why? More eloquent than his words, his eyes were showing his doubt. To what kind of [why] did his word [why] meant , I don’t understand. I didn’t understand, but…
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“Why or whatever it is. I like you after all”
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If it were not for it, I wouldn’t come here. If it were not for it, with how limited our conversation was during this span of two years, I wouldn’t want to be with you.
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Two years. It was two years.
Although it might not be a long time, but on the other hand it was not a short time either. During that time, I knew that that boy’s character was nothing like his angel or fairy appearance.
At the beginning, perhaps since his emotions couldn’t catch up, he was emotionless and I really couldn’t understand what he was thinking at all.
However gradually, even if it was little by little, his facial expression began to change. And sometimes, he’d let a smile showed on his face.
That smile was really a slight, small one as though a drop of morning dew on a green leaf, even so, sometimes that boy would smile. He had become able to show his smile. Yes, for example when I was making a mistake when reading the grimoire. Or when I was stumbling from tripping on my own dress.
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─────Aah, so not cute. Even when I recall it, he’s completely not cute.
What are you enjoying someone else’s failure for, damn it! I don’t know whether the blame was due to his poor upbringing, or whether it was his personality by nature, but anyway, he was actually a boy that had not a single fragment of being cute.
Come to think of it, that’s right. A glimpse of that man’s personality had actually been shown since that time. A nonexistent childishness, just a mature boy.
.
No, that boy is not [mature]. That boy was already an adult. Surely, at the age of nine, that boy was already an adult much more than me.
That boy had never said any complaint or selfishness, on the contrary, you could easily count the times he had ever said his real feelings.
And that same boy, had went to this extent. He had become so desperate, to this extent, for me. And more than anything, that was the answer.
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“Filimina, are you fine, with that?”
“That’s perfectly fine”[1]
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Smile. Using all stubbornness and willpower, make a smile. No matter how unbecoming the smile as I endured the pain was, I smiled.
Then just as I was to lose consciousness, the last thing I saw was as expected his almost crying face, and his lips forming the words “of course”.
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Then when I woke up, I was once more on the bed of my room in Adina’s mansion.
I received severe scolding from both my parents and my wet nurse, even though we have told you not to push yourself to that extent, why does it still ended up like this! Even mother who was usually so gentle, had her droopy eyes turned sharp, “Shall I bind you to your bed?” and said a line befitting a queen from somewhere else.
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Thus, after bedridden for another week, I finally got the permit to get off from my bed. It was around that time that the day of that boy’s departure to Magic Academy came.
.
In the end, whether the incident with me happened or not, the decision for that boy to go to the Magic Academy had been determined. It was just that his departure day was being hastened a bit, it was just that.
Although my do-or-die charge at Lancent mansion might be partly due to me jumping to conclusion, for the time being let’s consider that everything was all right in the end. Amano-iwato was opened, and rather than sun goddess, a night fairy turned up from within the cave after all.
As I went to see him off together with my parents and brother at the Lancent mansion, that boy’s morning glow eyes were staring straight at me as he said this.
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“Filimina”
“What is it?”
“Will you wait for me?”
“Yes, of course”
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At that time, I believed that he meant he was going to come home to Lancent mansion during long vacation and held no doubt about it at all.
Until then it would take few months at most, however for a nine years old kid it might seemed like a long time, but anyhow my inner self was in my forties after all. Since it was not that long, there’s no way I would forget his face, so I nodded.
Beside us, Lancent oji-sama was nodding his head happily, father was making a face like it was the world’s end, mother was consoling father, and my brother was sleeping soundly within my mother’s arms.
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Thus that boy went to the Magic Academy.
It was said that he had gotten the highest score at the entrance exam, and became the youngest to enter into the academy.
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Well, you surely have gotten it, haven’t you? It was something I hadn’t realized, but at this moment, it seems, that boy…that man and my engagement was finalized.
For me, I didn’t nod with that intention in the least, in the first place I didn’t even think that that boy had such intention when he said those words. But, even if I didn’t think so much about it, I should have been able to understand that those words held such meaning. If only I had been able to understand what it meant, I would definitely not agree to those words.
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Originally, it was not that unusual for children below the age of ten to already have a fiancé or fiancée within the community of the nobles. With political marriage being a common thing, Adina House with its peculiarity of being a family that succeeds the title of Chief Administrator of Grimiore also has the opinion that it’s better for the engagement partner to be decided soon, and even a nine years old like me had a clear understanding about that notion.
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Frankly speaking, Adina House is an excellent article. Although not that flashy, but as long as we do not do any thoughtless thing we would never fall down to ruin, and in return for not being able to directly interfere with politics, we were promised a certain position.
And the first daughter of that house is me. Naturally I am also an excellent article. For me it was the boys, but for my little brother it was the girls, the nobles’ children brought by their parents to our house would cling to us with that reason.
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However the burn mark that scarred my back was judged impossible to disappear no matter how advanced the medical technology or recovery magic would be in the future, and that truth was still carved on my back.
The idea of magic has strongly took root, making up one’s livelihood, and in this country that put an emphasis on the existence of spirit, receiving a scar from spirit was something to be loathed.
Moreover it was only about scar made by lower rank spirit, which could possibly disappear if you leave it alone, and mine was all the more since the scar was made by high ranking spirit who each possessed an individual true name.
I don’t think there is anyone with strange taste that would especially choose to take me as a bride by their own choice.
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My popular life had met its end right there. In return, I became the fiancée of that beautiful night fairy-like boy.
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I bear a scar that would not disappear for a lifetime on my back, but at the same time, that boy was made to bear a heavy cross on his small back.
[1]This is full of Japanese legend reference! Amano-iwato is a rock cave where Amaterasu confined herself and refused to come out after fighting with Susanoo. To lure her to come out, other Gods threw a party outside the cave. Ama-no-uzume then undressed and danced, causing the other Gods to laugh. The festivity grabbed Amaterasu’s attention, so she peeked out of the cave↵
[2] Something lost in translation. Eddy asked,「フィリミナは、それで、いいのか」indicating are you fine with me / liking me? and Filimina answered 「それが、いいのです」, literally means That (referring to Eddy or her liking Eddy) is precisely what is fine (for me) or could also be interpreted as That is precisely what I want / hope↵
