I saw a nostalgic dream. It was a dream about the morning I first met that man, until the last night I parted with him.
.
Because I didn’t go to see him off as he was leaving secretly, in fact, that night was truly the last time we met.
The fair-skinned face shone upon by the moonlight, the shadow left by his long eyelashes, the beauty of the flickering morning glow eyes. I still remember it clearly to that extent, huh?
.
While laughing scornfully at such me, the feeling of awareness slowly emerged, leaving me sighing in my mind.
I see, it seemed my way of thinking is still too naive. Even though I intended to resolve myself, in the end I was made to understand that [intended] was nothing more than just [intended]. Never have I thought that I would collapse from the excessive shock, it was really unlike me at all.
This me, who had not cried, screamed, or fainted at all within the chaos of numerous crying, screaming, and fainting ladies when a group of raiders intruded upon an evening party I attended before.
No, at that time it was because I simply didn’t have any room left for doing any of it. Aah, but, really, it was really unlike me at all.
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“Ojou-sama, have you woken up?”
“…Suzette?”
.
The moment I thought so and opened my eyes, the one appearing in front of me was the relieved smile of my nanny who I had grown accustomed to since my birth.
.
The message that the messenger from Royal Palace brought, was as one expected, the news of that man’s death. No, saying it news of his death was maybe an overstatement. It was just, his chance of survival was already hopeless.
.
In the middle of their journey, they received an attack from a remaining high-ranking demon kin, said to be the strongest even within the close associates of the Demon King, and at that time, it seemed that that man let himself to be a decoy and used a grand magic.
That was a grand magic, said as one that steal the life of every magician that used it, with no record of anyone to ever succeed. It was said, that magic relentlessly hollowed out a part of the wide forest on the north, and when the hero and co. came back after being teleported by that man’s magic to the nearest town, what left was only that man’s cane, piercing right to the earth.
.
I heard that in place of that man, a young boy who was his apprentice went to pursue the hero party and left the Royal Palace. I too had met with him once.
At first, I had never thought that man would do something like taking an apprentice. It was because he’s the type of man to devote himself into his own research if he had that kind of free time.
The young boy he took as his apprentice, had a mix of black and silver ash colored hair that really resembled Lancent oji-sama’s hair. You fathercom![1], was what I thought at that moment.
Even as a lovely young boy who had stranger anxiety tendency and was slightly introvert proceeded to his death, I ended up thinking [it doesn’t matter], I guess I was such a cold person.
.
Even so, the reality doesn’t matter. It doesn’t matter. I ended up thinking like that.
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“Ojou-sama, please don’t be so down. Though the messenger might say so, but is thatEguiédills-sama someone who would accompany the likes of that Demon King army?” [2]
“Suzette, thank you”
.
I smile at my nanny who was desperately arguing the news. I was very happy with her consideration towards me. She’s usually a strict woman, but I know that it’s all because she was thinking about me. I had always been saved by that kindness and warmth of her.
Even that man wouldn’t hold a candle to this nanny of mine. And that’s what this nanny of mine has said, I wanted to agree with it. I wanted to agree, and be relieved.
.
But, please.
.
“Will you let me be alone, just for a while?”
.
The moment I smiled and said it, my nanny narrowed her eyes painfully. Aah, I had done it. I might have made her worried about me. Had I perhaps not managed to smile nicely?
However, before I said anything, she bowed once and left the room. Seeing her off, what was left in the room was me alone.
.
I raised my upper body and sat on the bed. My head hurt. It was throbbing and pricking. The words of the messenger I heard before I fainted were spinning around in my mind.
[He voluntarily became a decoy]? What’s with that. Weren’t you not the kind of person who has such an admirable character? Weren’t you not the kind of man who would do such thing like risking your life for others?
You’re more of a man who always saying sarcasm and cynicism, always turning up at a lady’s house without any prior contact selfishly, always doing nothing but work, a quiet and unsociable man.
.
That kind of man, why would he voluntarily do something like becoming a decoy? Was it because it was a mission? Was it because he calculated that it was the most logical thing to do? Or was it because he was attracted to the Princess that much?
.
“…What a, foolish man”
.
That’s why I opposed to it. Although I had only done it once.
To him, whom I called as ‘that man’ instead of ‘that boy’ before I realized it, I said my wish for the first time. I said my selfishness for the first time.
“Please don’t go”, I said.
The moment he disregarded it, I had always had this premonition.
.
“──────────kh, aA,”
.
As I bit my lips to hold down the weep that was about to spill out if I were to lose focus, a stifled sound rang from my throat. As if in place of it, the tears were overflowing endlessly. Even if I covered my face with both hands, there was no change.
.
At least, at least, at least.
.
.
“If you’re alive, even just that, would be enough”
.
.
If he’d be alive and come back, even just that was enough. It was for this reason that I resolved myself. Even if the one reflected on that eye would no longer be me. Even if I would lose my position as his fiancée. Even so, I could still stay beside him as a friend.
kurukurutl.wordpress.com
“…as expected, it seems I can’t get married again”
The words [I] muttered, reverberated miserably throughout the room.
[1]Father complex. It’s like siscom (sister complex), but father version
[2]I think she meant something along the line of “is he someone who would fall down together/meet the same end with the likes of that Demon King army?”
I saw a nostalgic dream. It was a dream about the morning I first met that man, until the last night I parted with him.
.
Because I didn’t go to see him off as he was leaving secretly, in fact, that night was truly the last time we met.
The fair-skinned face shone upon by the moonlight, the shadow left by his long eyelashes, the beauty of the flickering morning glow eyes. I still remember it clearly to that extent, huh?
.
While laughing scornfully at such me, the feeling of awareness slowly emerged, leaving me sighing in my mind.
I see, it seemed my way of thinking is still too naive. Even though I intended to resolve myself, in the end I was made to understand that [intended] was nothing more than just [intended]. Never have I thought that I would collapse from the excessive shock, it was really unlike me at all.
This me, who had not cried, screamed, or fainted at all within the chaos of numerous crying, screaming, and fainting ladies when a group of raiders intruded upon an evening party I attended before.
No, at that time it was because I simply didn’t have any room left for doing any of it. Aah, but, really, it was really unlike me at all.
kurukurutl.wordpress.com
“Ojou-sama, have you woken up?”
“…Suzette?”
.
The moment I thought so and opened my eyes, the one appearing in front of me was the relieved smile of my nanny who I had grown accustomed to since my birth.
.
The message that the messenger from Royal Palace brought, was as one expected, the news of that man’s death. No, saying it news of his death was maybe an overstatement. It was just, his chance of survival was already hopeless.
.
In the middle of their journey, they received an attack from a remaining high-ranking demon kin, said to be the strongest even within the close associates of the Demon King, and at that time, it seemed that that man let himself to be a decoy and used a grand magic.
That was a grand magic, said as one that steal the life of every magician that used it, with no record of anyone to ever succeed. It was said, that magic relentlessly hollowed out a part of the wide forest on the north, and when the hero and co. came back after being teleported by that man’s magic to the nearest town, what left was only that man’s cane, piercing right to the earth.
.
I heard that in place of that man, a young boy who was his apprentice went to pursue the hero party and left the Royal Palace. I too had met with him once.
At first, I had never thought that man would do something like taking an apprentice. It was because he’s the type of man to devote himself into his own research if he had that kind of free time.
The young boy he took as his apprentice, had a mix of black and silver ash colored hair that really resembled Lancent oji-sama’s hair. You fathercom![1], was what I thought at that moment.
Even as a lovely young boy who had stranger anxiety tendency and was slightly introvert proceeded to his death, I ended up thinking [it doesn’t matter], I guess I was such a cold person.
.
Even so, the reality doesn’t matter. It doesn’t matter. I ended up thinking like that.
kurukurutl.wordpress.com
“Ojou-sama, please don’t be so down. Though the messenger might say so, but is thatEguiédills-sama someone who would accompany the likes of that Demon King army?” [2]
“Suzette, thank you”
.
I smile at my nanny who was desperately arguing the news. I was very happy with her consideration towards me. She’s usually a strict woman, but I know that it’s all because she was thinking about me. I had always been saved by that kindness and warmth of her.
Even that man wouldn’t hold a candle to this nanny of mine. And that’s what this nanny of mine has said, I wanted to agree with it. I wanted to agree, and be relieved.
.
But, please.
.
“Will you let me be alone, just for a while?”
.
The moment I smiled and said it, my nanny narrowed her eyes painfully. Aah, I had done it. I might have made her worried about me. Had I perhaps not managed to smile nicely?
However, before I said anything, she bowed once and left the room. Seeing her off, what was left in the room was me alone.
.
I raised my upper body and sat on the bed. My head hurt. It was throbbing and pricking. The words of the messenger I heard before I fainted were spinning around in my mind.
[He voluntarily became a decoy]? What’s with that. Weren’t you not the kind of person who has such an admirable character? Weren’t you not the kind of man who would do such thing like risking your life for others?
You’re more of a man who always saying sarcasm and cynicism, always turning up at a lady’s house without any prior contact selfishly, always doing nothing but work, a quiet and unsociable man.
.
That kind of man, why would he voluntarily do something like becoming a decoy? Was it because it was a mission? Was it because he calculated that it was the most logical thing to do? Or was it because he was attracted to the Princess that much?
.
“…What a, foolish man”
.
That’s why I opposed to it. Although I had only done it once.
To him, whom I called as ‘that man’ instead of ‘that boy’ before I realized it, I said my wish for the first time. I said my selfishness for the first time.
“Please don’t go”, I said.
The moment he disregarded it, I had always had this premonition.
.
“──────────kh, aA,”
.
As I bit my lips to hold down the weep that was about to spill out if I were to lose focus, a stifled sound rang from my throat. As if in place of it, the tears were overflowing endlessly. Even if I covered my face with both hands, there was no change.
.
At least, at least, at least.
.
.
“If you’re alive, even just that, would be enough”
.
.
If he’d be alive and come back, even just that was enough. It was for this reason that I resolved myself. Even if the one reflected on that eye would no longer be me. Even if I would lose my position as his fiancée. Even so, I could still stay beside him as a friend.
kurukurutl.wordpress.com
“…as expected, it seems I can’t get married again”
The words [I] muttered, reverberated miserably throughout the room.
[1]Father complex. It’s like siscom (sister complex), but father version
[2]I think she meant something along the line of “is he someone who would fall down together/meet the same end with the likes of that Demon King army?”
