Chapter 30
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I was frozen solid. Of course this wasn't my first time being seen in a less-than-fully-dressed state by Julian, but my body wouldn't move. I shouldn't be this embarrassed. I was a grown woman, for heaven's sake.
Julian stared at me and my reddening cheeks. A corner of his mouth began to twitch before he couldn't keep it in any longer.
He let out a snicker.
"You... did you just laugh at me?"
Julian quickly tried to keep his face neutral. "Nope."
"You just laughed at me!"
"No, I did not laugh at you."
"You did!"
"I laughed at your reaction."
I glared at him, clutching the towel wrapped around me to my chest. "Ah, right, and that's not laughing at me."
"No, I'm laughing because you reacted the same way you did when I saw inside that bag your friend brought you."
I immediately knew the situation he meant. My face heated with the memory, not only of the contents of that bag Sam had brought me, but also from that kiss Julian had given me. I tried to form a retort, but before I could, Julian continued.
"I'm sorry for that, by the way."
"...For what, exactly?" I didn't know if he meant his outburst or his sudden kiss.
"For the way I acted. I was an ass." Julian sighed and ran his fingers through his already messed hair. "And not just then."
I didn't know what to say. Was Julian... apologizing? What was I supposed to do with that?
"...I'm honestly not sure how to take your apology," I admitted after a pause.
Julian's eyebrows twitched as if in pain. He looked away and I could see his jaw clench before he fully entered the bathroom and shut the door behind him.
"You should accept it."
Indignation flared within me. "I should accept it? You mean instead of getting real answers from you, I should just accept 'I'm sorry, I'm an ass' and move on?"
"That's not what I meant."
"Are you sure? Because from where I'm standing it seems like a sorry excuse for an apology."
Julian tightened his jaw and spoke to me through his clenched teeth. "Would you have me kneel and beg for forgiveness for things I didn't have control over? Apologize for things another me did to you in other lives?"
"What the hell is that supposed to mean? You don't have control over your own actions?" I glared at him. "I don't expect you to repent for everything that's happened, but maybe you could feel a bit of sympathy towards someone who was affected by your own choices!"
I was angry now. Here he was, making excuses as if everything I had experienced didn't involve him. I walked towards the bathroom door. I didn't have to stand here in nothing but a towel, embarrassed beyond belief, while he acted as if he was so high and mighty.
"You said we would talk 'at home,' but you were really just trying to get rid of me. But that's fine! I can wait. I've waited twenty-four lifetimes! I'll pester you with guilt until you're truly sorry!"
Julian grabbed my arm as I went to move past him.
"What is it?" I jerked my head up towards him. "Let me go."
A strange light flashed in Julian's eyes. It reminded me of a wolf's gaze. A shiver went down my spine. He started to remove his shirt, one button at a time.
"W-What are you doing?"
"...You want to talk? Fine. This is perfect." His voice was low, almost like a growl as he pulled his shirt from his body.
Julian wrapped one arm around my shoulders and the other under my knees, sweeping me up into a princess-carry. I let out a surprised yelp as he briskly walked into the shower, letting me down onto my feet and turned on the facet.
I was ready to be hit by a blast of water, but Julian was blocking my body from most of it. His broad chest was directly in front of my eyes as water slid down his skin. I looked up into his eyes, which were still filled with that strange light.
He moved both arms to rest against the wall on either side of my head. Was he trapping me? He leaned closer to me and I could feel my heart beating rapidly in my chest. But instead of pushing his lips against mine like the last time he was frustrated, Julian leaned his forehead against the wall next to me and let out a self-depreciating laugh.
"You... are so infuriating."
I opened my mouth to retort, but Julian continued.
"You never listen to anything I tell you to do, and then you tell me it's all because you can't, thanks to living multiple lives. Something impossible like that... I don't know how to take it. Am I supposed to give up now, knowing that I've failed? Do I try to make up for things I don't remember? What am I supposed to do?"
I stared at the shoulder in front of my eyes. This was the most I'd heard Julian say all at one time. He normally seemed so strong, only ever showing anger or indifference towards me, or polite smiles to everyone else. But right now... his shoulder was shaking.
I reached up my hands to push gently against his chest. He pulled his head away from the wall at my nudge and looked into my eyes.
"The only thing I want," I began, "is to know what your story is. Please."
Julian's eyes looked unsure before he nodded. He still didn't look very confident, but he let out a sigh.
"This is why I brought you in here. Maybe I'm being paranoid, but..." he muttered softly, trailing off. "My family have eyes and ears everywhere. This might be the one place they wouldn't listen in."
I widened my eyes. "What do you mean?"
Julian let out a harsh laugh. "My family doesn't trust me to follow their orders. Everyone in this house is someone from their side."
"Even Ileana?"
"Ileana would never wish me harm, but yes. She reports to my mother."
"What exactly does she report?"
I couldn't be certain, but Julian's face seemed a little sad. "She'd tell my mother if there was ever any evidence of us having a physical relationship."
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I was frozen solid. Of course this wasn't my first time being seen in a less-than-fully-dressed state by Julian, but my body wouldn't move. I shouldn't be this embarrassed. I was a grown woman, for heaven's sake.
Julian stared at me and my reddening cheeks. A corner of his mouth began to twitch before he couldn't keep it in any longer.
He let out a snicker.
"You... did you just laugh at me?"
Julian quickly tried to keep his face neutral. "Nope."
"You just laughed at me!"
"No, I did not laugh at you."
"You did!"
"I laughed at your reaction."
I glared at him, clutching the towel wrapped around me to my chest. "Ah, right, and that's not laughing at me."
"No, I'm laughing because you reacted the same way you did when I saw inside that bag your friend brought you."
I immediately knew the situation he meant. My face heated with the memory, not only of the contents of that bag Sam had brought me, but also from that kiss Julian had given me. I tried to form a retort, but before I could, Julian continued.
"I'm sorry for that, by the way."
"...For what, exactly?" I didn't know if he meant his outburst or his sudden kiss.
"For the way I acted. I was an ass." Julian sighed and ran his fingers through his already messed hair. "And not just then."
I didn't know what to say. Was Julian... apologizing? What was I supposed to do with that?
"...I'm honestly not sure how to take your apology," I admitted after a pause.
Julian's eyebrows twitched as if in pain. He looked away and I could see his jaw clench before he fully entered the bathroom and shut the door behind him.
"You should accept it."
Indignation flared within me. "I should accept it? You mean instead of getting real answers from you, I should just accept 'I'm sorry, I'm an ass' and move on?"
"That's not what I meant."
"Are you sure? Because from where I'm standing it seems like a sorry excuse for an apology."
Julian tightened his jaw and spoke to me through his clenched teeth. "Would you have me kneel and beg for forgiveness for things I didn't have control over? Apologize for things another me did to you in other lives?"
"What the hell is that supposed to mean? You don't have control over your own actions?" I glared at him. "I don't expect you to repent for everything that's happened, but maybe you could feel a bit of sympathy towards someone who was affected by your own choices!"
I was angry now. Here he was, making excuses as if everything I had experienced didn't involve him. I walked towards the bathroom door. I didn't have to stand here in nothing but a towel, embarrassed beyond belief, while he acted as if he was so high and mighty.
"You said we would talk 'at home,' but you were really just trying to get rid of me. But that's fine! I can wait. I've waited twenty-four lifetimes! I'll pester you with guilt until you're truly sorry!"
Julian grabbed my arm as I went to move past him.
"What is it?" I jerked my head up towards him. "Let me go."
A strange light flashed in Julian's eyes. It reminded me of a wolf's gaze. A shiver went down my spine. He started to remove his shirt, one button at a time.
"W-What are you doing?"
"...You want to talk? Fine. This is perfect." His voice was low, almost like a growl as he pulled his shirt from his body.
Julian wrapped one arm around my shoulders and the other under my knees, sweeping me up into a princess-carry. I let out a surprised yelp as he briskly walked into the shower, letting me down onto my feet and turned on the facet.
I was ready to be hit by a blast of water, but Julian was blocking my body from most of it. His broad chest was directly in front of my eyes as water slid down his skin. I looked up into his eyes, which were still filled with that strange light.
He moved both arms to rest against the wall on either side of my head. Was he trapping me? He leaned closer to me and I could feel my heart beating rapidly in my chest. But instead of pushing his lips against mine like the last time he was frustrated, Julian leaned his forehead against the wall next to me and let out a self-depreciating laugh.
"You... are so infuriating."
I opened my mouth to retort, but Julian continued.
"You never listen to anything I tell you to do, and then you tell me it's all because you can't, thanks to living multiple lives. Something impossible like that... I don't know how to take it. Am I supposed to give up now, knowing that I've failed? Do I try to make up for things I don't remember? What am I supposed to do?"
I stared at the shoulder in front of my eyes. This was the most I'd heard Julian say all at one time. He normally seemed so strong, only ever showing anger or indifference towards me, or polite smiles to everyone else. But right now... his shoulder was shaking.
I reached up my hands to push gently against his chest. He pulled his head away from the wall at my nudge and looked into my eyes.
"The only thing I want," I began, "is to know what your story is. Please."
Julian's eyes looked unsure before he nodded. He still didn't look very confident, but he let out a sigh.
"This is why I brought you in here. Maybe I'm being paranoid, but..." he muttered softly, trailing off. "My family have eyes and ears everywhere. This might be the one place they wouldn't listen in."
I widened my eyes. "What do you mean?"
Julian let out a harsh laugh. "My family doesn't trust me to follow their orders. Everyone in this house is someone from their side."
"Even Ileana?"
"Ileana would never wish me harm, but yes. She reports to my mother."
"What exactly does she report?"
I couldn't be certain, but Julian's face seemed a little sad. "She'd tell my mother if there was ever any evidence of us having a physical relationship."
I was frozen solid. Of course this wasn't my first time being seen in a less-than-fully-dressed state by Julian, but my body wouldn't move. I shouldn't be this embarrassed. I was a grown woman, for heaven's sake.Julian stared at me and my reddening cheeks. A corner of his mouth began to twitch before he couldn't keep it in any longer.He let out a snicker."You... did you just laugh at me?"Julian quickly tried to keep his face neutral. "Nope.""You just laughed at me!""No, I did not laugh at you.""You did!""I laughed at your reaction."I glared at him, clutching the towel wrapped around me to my chest. "Ah, right, and that's not laughing at me.""No, I'm laughing because you reacted the same way you did when I saw inside that bag your friend brought you."I immediately knew the situation he meant. My face heated with the memory, not only of the contents of that bag Sam had brought me, but also from that kiss Julian had given me. I tried to form a retort, but before I could, Julian continued."I'm sorry for that, by the way.""...For what, exactly?" I didn't know if he meant his outburst or his sudden kiss."For the way I acted. I was an ass." Julian sighed and ran his fingers through his already messed hair. "And not just then."I didn't know what to say. Was Julian... apologizing? What was I supposed to do with that?"...I'm honestly not sure how to take your apology," I admitted after a pause.Julian's eyebrows twitched as if in pain. He looked away and I could see his jaw clench before he fully entered the bathroom and shut the door behind him."You should accept it."Indignation flared within me. "I should accept it? You mean instead of getting real answers from you, I should just accept 'I'm sorry, I'm an ass' and move on?""That's not what I meant.""Are you sure? Because from where I'm standing it seems like a sorry excuse for an apology."Julian tightened his jaw and spoke to me through his clenched teeth. "Would you have me kneel and beg for forgiveness for things I didn't have control over? Apologize for things another me did to you in other lives?""What the hell is that supposed to mean? You don't have control over your own actions?" I glared at him. "I don't expect you to repent for everything that's happened, but maybe you could feel a bit of sympathy towards someone who was affected by your own choices!"I was angry now. Here he was, making excuses as if everything I had experienced didn't involve him. I walked towards the bathroom door. I didn't have to stand here in nothing but a towel, embarrassed beyond belief, while he acted as if he was so high and mighty."You said we would talk 'at home,' but you were really just trying to get rid of me. But that's fine! I can wait. I've waited twenty-four lifetimes! I'll pester you with guilt until you're truly sorry!"Julian grabbed my arm as I went to move past him."What is it?" I jerked my head up towards him. "Let me go."A strange light flashed in Julian's eyes. It reminded me of a wolf's gaze. A shiver went down my spine. He started to remove his shirt, one button at a time."W-What are you doing?""...You want to talk? Fine. This is perfect." His voice was low, almost like a growl as he pulled his shirt from his body.Julian wrapped one arm around my shoulders and the other under my knees, sweeping me up into a princess-carry. I let out a surprised yelp as he briskly walked into the shower, letting me down onto my feet and turned on the facet.I was ready to be hit by a blast of water, but Julian was blocking my body from most of it. His broad chest was directly in front of my eyes as water slid down his skin. I looked up into his eyes, which were still filled with that strange light.He moved both arms to rest against the wall on either side of my head. Was he trapping me? He leaned closer to me and I could feel my heart beating rapidly in my chest. But instead of pushing his lips against mine like the last time he was frustrated, Julian leaned his forehead against the wall next to me and let out a self-depreciating laugh."You... are so infuriating."I opened my mouth to retort, but Julian continued."You never listen to anything I tell you to do, and then you tell me it's all because you can't, thanks to living multiple lives. Something impossible like that... I don't know how to take it. Am I supposed to give up now, knowing that I've failed? Do I try to make up for things I don't remember? What am I supposed to do?"I stared at the shoulder in front of my eyes. This was the most I'd heard Julian say all at one time. He normally seemed so strong, only ever showing anger or indifference towards me, or polite smiles to everyone else. But right now... his shoulder was shaking.I reached up my hands to push gently against his chest. He pulled his head away from the wall at my nudge and looked into my eyes."The only thing I want," I began, "is to know what your story is. Please."Julian's eyes looked unsure before he nodded. He still didn't look very confident, but he let out a sigh."This is why I brought you in here. Maybe I'm being paranoid, but..." he muttered softly, trailing off. "My family have eyes and ears everywhere. This might be the one place they wouldn't listen in."I widened my eyes. "What do you mean?"Julian let out a harsh laugh. "My family doesn't trust me to follow their orders. Everyone in this house is someone from their side.""Even Ileana?""Ileana would never wish me harm, but yes. She reports to my mother.""What exactly does she report?"I couldn't be certain, but Julian's face seemed a little sad. "She'd tell my mother if there was ever any evidence of us having a physical relationship."
