Chapter 7
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I woke to the sight of an unfamiliar ceiling. I was still in my wedding gown and I had been laid on a couch. After blinking uncertainly at my surroundings, I realized I was still in the hotel suite. I sat up slowly, my eyes aching. The faint light of dawn was seeping in through the windows. A light blanket fell from my chest and I picked up the edge.
Had Julian placed this blanket on me?
I couldn't remember anything after I had broken down last night. I was a little embarrassed of myself for falling apart so rapidly after seeing Julian's eyes. I just hadn't expected my suspicions to be right. The relief I had felt after having that tiny sliver of hope confirmed... as expected, I couldn't be said to be in a stable state of mind.
If there was one thing I had always wished for, it was to live a normal life. To be able to visit my family regularly, make friends who wouldn't try to kill me, to smile when I greeted my husband, stress over my graying hair and aging body.... I just wanted simple things like this.
I got up from the couch and made my way to the bathroom. When I looked in the mirror, I grimaced. My appearance was horrible. My makeup had run from my tears and my eyes were red from crying. I washed my face and headed for the bedroom for a change of clothes.
When I opened the bedroom door, it was surprisingly dark. The curtains had been drawn. I waited a few moments for my eyes to adjust before heading for the overnight bag I could see on a chair, but halfway across the room I froze. Julian's sleeping form was sprawled across the bed, the blankets wrapped carelessly in his legs. His chest rose and fell from his deep breathing.
I thought my heart would stop.
He had stayed?
I didn't know whether I should continue towards my clothing or quickly retreat. On the off chance I woke him up, who knew how he would behave? I wasn't sure if Julian was a morning person or not, as I had never slept next to him and never greeted him in the mornings. When we did stay in the same house, usually I would wake up after he had left. Most of the time he simply never came home.
I finally decided to risk it. I needed to get out of this dress. It was covered in sweat, blood, and tears. I couldn't stand to be in it a minute more. I crept as quietly as I could past the bed and picked up the bag that had been prepared for me. I moved back across the room, only able to let out a breath when I returned to the hallway.
Why was Julian here? Why, why, why?
I clutched my bag to my chest. This was definitely not the same as my past lifetimes! Something had changed. I didn't know whether to grin or scream. If last night was all it took to get this impossible man to stay, why hadn't I tried this earlier? I couldn't understand. What was so different? It's not like I hadn't cried in front of him in my past lifetimes, but he had always remained unmoved. So why?
I began changing in a daze. The explanations I could come up with were difficult to process. The evidence pointed towards my confirmation from last night, that Julian cared, but one question remained: Why? What was his reason for caring, and what had triggered that small speck of a heart inside his chest to yield last night?
Comparing what I had done different last night to my other lifetimes... I had shown incredible weakness in front of him by fainting, but I had also stood my ground. In previous arguments with Julian in my past lives, I had always started strong, but lost steam quickly. I was easily frightened by his anger and had given up halfway through, but last night I had been firm. I hadn't given up. Was that the major factor?
I didn't dare think for a moment I had gained Julian's respect. But maybe I had shown I wasn't weak. That still didn't explain what had made him stay. Was it worry after I had fainted? I had obviously been cared for, at least a little bit. Waking up on the sofa and the blanket were proof of that. I knew if I were to ask, he would give an explanation of convenience. It was the same reason he always gave when he stayed in our marital home without a real explanation, "it's convenient".
I wouldn't buy that excuse this time. I was determined to ferret out Julian's secret. Now that he had given me an inch, I would take a mile!
I exited the bathroom and nearly let out a scream. Julian was standing half-naked in the kitchen drinking a glass of juice. He turned towards me and my breath caught in my chest.
Of course I had seen him in various states of dress, but this was the first time I had seen him in the light without a shirt on. The morning light shown on his flawless skin. If it were possible, I would say he glowed. I wasn't an ugly girl, but compared to the beauty before me, I was plain. Too plain! This damned death god.
Julian turned towards me at the sound of my pitiful noise. I knew I must look awful, with my messed hair and startled face. He ignored me and turned to look out the window out on the city.
"You... You stayed," I managed to get out.
"Mm."
A silence stretched between us, with me unable to advance or retreat.
"Thank you."
"Mm."
I had only whispered it, but it seems he had been listening. Did this... count as a conversation? I felt my lips twitch. I didn't know if I should be happy about this?
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I woke to the sight of an unfamiliar ceiling. I was still in my wedding gown and I had been laid on a couch. After blinking uncertainly at my surroundings, I realized I was still in the hotel suite. I sat up slowly, my eyes aching. The faint light of dawn was seeping in through the windows. A light blanket fell from my chest and I picked up the edge.
Had Julian placed this blanket on me?
I couldn't remember anything after I had broken down last night. I was a little embarrassed of myself for falling apart so rapidly after seeing Julian's eyes. I just hadn't expected my suspicions to be right. The relief I had felt after having that tiny sliver of hope confirmed... as expected, I couldn't be said to be in a stable state of mind.
If there was one thing I had always wished for, it was to live a normal life. To be able to visit my family regularly, make friends who wouldn't try to kill me, to smile when I greeted my husband, stress over my graying hair and aging body.... I just wanted simple things like this.
I got up from the couch and made my way to the bathroom. When I looked in the mirror, I grimaced. My appearance was horrible. My makeup had run from my tears and my eyes were red from crying. I washed my face and headed for the bedroom for a change of clothes.
When I opened the bedroom door, it was surprisingly dark. The curtains had been drawn. I waited a few moments for my eyes to adjust before heading for the overnight bag I could see on a chair, but halfway across the room I froze. Julian's sleeping form was sprawled across the bed, the blankets wrapped carelessly in his legs. His chest rose and fell from his deep breathing.
I thought my heart would stop.
He had stayed?
I didn't know whether I should continue towards my clothing or quickly retreat. On the off chance I woke him up, who knew how he would behave? I wasn't sure if Julian was a morning person or not, as I had never slept next to him and never greeted him in the mornings. When we did stay in the same house, usually I would wake up after he had left. Most of the time he simply never came home.
I finally decided to risk it. I needed to get out of this dress. It was covered in sweat, blood, and tears. I couldn't stand to be in it a minute more. I crept as quietly as I could past the bed and picked up the bag that had been prepared for me. I moved back across the room, only able to let out a breath when I returned to the hallway.
Why was Julian here? Why, why, why?
I clutched my bag to my chest. This was definitely not the same as my past lifetimes! Something had changed. I didn't know whether to grin or scream. If last night was all it took to get this impossible man to stay, why hadn't I tried this earlier? I couldn't understand. What was so different? It's not like I hadn't cried in front of him in my past lifetimes, but he had always remained unmoved. So why?
I began changing in a daze. The explanations I could come up with were difficult to process. The evidence pointed towards my confirmation from last night, that Julian cared, but one question remained: Why? What was his reason for caring, and what had triggered that small speck of a heart inside his chest to yield last night?
Comparing what I had done different last night to my other lifetimes... I had shown incredible weakness in front of him by fainting, but I had also stood my ground. In previous arguments with Julian in my past lives, I had always started strong, but lost steam quickly. I was easily frightened by his anger and had given up halfway through, but last night I had been firm. I hadn't given up. Was that the major factor?
I didn't dare think for a moment I had gained Julian's respect. But maybe I had shown I wasn't weak. That still didn't explain what had made him stay. Was it worry after I had fainted? I had obviously been cared for, at least a little bit. Waking up on the sofa and the blanket were proof of that. I knew if I were to ask, he would give an explanation of convenience. It was the same reason he always gave when he stayed in our marital home without a real explanation, "it's convenient".
I wouldn't buy that excuse this time. I was determined to ferret out Julian's secret. Now that he had given me an inch, I would take a mile!
I exited the bathroom and nearly let out a scream. Julian was standing half-naked in the kitchen drinking a glass of juice. He turned towards me and my breath caught in my chest.
Of course I had seen him in various states of dress, but this was the first time I had seen him in the light without a shirt on. The morning light shown on his flawless skin. If it were possible, I would say he glowed. I wasn't an ugly girl, but compared to the beauty before me, I was plain. Too plain! This damned death god.
Julian turned towards me at the sound of my pitiful noise. I knew I must look awful, with my messed hair and startled face. He ignored me and turned to look out the window out on the city.
"You... You stayed," I managed to get out.
"Mm."
A silence stretched between us, with me unable to advance or retreat.
"Thank you."
"Mm."
I had only whispered it, but it seems he had been listening. Did this... count as a conversation? I felt my lips twitch. I didn't know if I should be happy about this?
I woke to the sight of an unfamiliar ceiling. I was still in my wedding gown and I had been laid on a couch. After blinking uncertainly at my surroundings, I realized I was still in the hotel suite. I sat up slowly, my eyes aching. The faint light of dawn was seeping in through the windows. A light blanket fell from my chest and I picked up the edge.Had Julian placed this blanket on me?I couldn't remember anything after I had broken down last night. I was a little embarrassed of myself for falling apart so rapidly after seeing Julian's eyes. I just hadn't expected my suspicions to be right. The relief I had felt after having that tiny sliver of hope confirmed... as expected, I couldn't be said to be in a stable state of mind.If there was one thing I had always wished for, it was to live a normal life. To be able to visit my family regularly, make friends who wouldn't try to kill me, to smile when I greeted my husband, stress over my graying hair and aging body.... I just wanted simple things like this.I got up from the couch and made my way to the bathroom. When I looked in the mirror, I grimaced. My appearance was horrible. My makeup had run from my tears and my eyes were red from crying. I washed my face and headed for the bedroom for a change of clothes.When I opened the bedroom door, it was surprisingly dark. The curtains had been drawn. I waited a few moments for my eyes to adjust before heading for the overnight bag I could see on a chair, but halfway across the room I froze. Julian's sleeping form was sprawled across the bed, the blankets wrapped carelessly in his legs. His chest rose and fell from his deep breathing.I thought my heart would stop.He had stayed?I didn't know whether I should continue towards my clothing or quickly retreat. On the off chance I woke him up, who knew how he would behave? I wasn't sure if Julian was a morning person or not, as I had never slept next to him and never greeted him in the mornings. When we did stay in the same house, usually I would wake up after he had left. Most of the time he simply never came home.I finally decided to risk it. I needed to get out of this dress. It was covered in sweat, blood, and tears. I couldn't stand to be in it a minute more. I crept as quietly as I could past the bed and picked up the bag that had been prepared for me. I moved back across the room, only able to let out a breath when I returned to the hallway.Why was Julian here? Why, why, why?I clutched my bag to my chest. This was definitely not the same as my past lifetimes! Something had changed. I didn't know whether to grin or scream. If last night was all it took to get this impossible man to stay, why hadn't I tried this earlier? I couldn't understand. What was so different? It's not like I hadn't cried in front of him in my past lifetimes, but he had always remained unmoved. So why?I began changing in a daze. The explanations I could come up with were difficult to process. The evidence pointed towards my confirmation from last night, that Julian cared, but one question remained: Why? What was his reason for caring, and what had triggered that small speck of a heart inside his chest to yield last night?Comparing what I had done different last night to my other lifetimes... I had shown incredible weakness in front of him by fainting, but I had also stood my ground. In previous arguments with Julian in my past lives, I had always started strong, but lost steam quickly. I was easily frightened by his anger and had given up halfway through, but last night I had been firm. I hadn't given up. Was that the major factor?I didn't dare think for a moment I had gained Julian's respect. But maybe I had shown I wasn't weak. That still didn't explain what had made him stay. Was it worry after I had fainted? I had obviously been cared for, at least a little bit. Waking up on the sofa and the blanket were proof of that. I knew if I were to ask, he would give an explanation of convenience. It was the same reason he always gave when he stayed in our marital home without a real explanation, "it's convenient".I wouldn't buy that excuse this time. I was determined to ferret out Julian's secret. Now that he had given me an inch, I would take a mile!I exited the bathroom and nearly let out a scream. Julian was standing half-naked in the kitchen drinking a glass of juice. He turned towards me and my breath caught in my chest.Of course I had seen him in various states of dress, but this was the first time I had seen him in the light without a shirt on. The morning light shown on his flawless skin. If it were possible, I would say he glowed. I wasn't an ugly girl, but compared to the beauty before me, I was plain. Too plain! This damned death god.Julian turned towards me at the sound of my pitiful noise. I knew I must look awful, with my messed hair and startled face. He ignored me and turned to look out the window out on the city."You... You stayed," I managed to get out."Mm."A silence stretched between us, with me unable to advance or retreat."Thank you.""Mm."I had only whispered it, but it seems he had been listening. Did this... count as a conversation? I felt my lips twitch. I didn't know if I should be happy about this?
