Volume 1
Chapter 1 Part 3
“Gyaaaaaaaaaaaa!!!”
Suddenly, my consciousness returned. Turning to the side, *Baku**Baku*, I placed my hands on my chest and felt my heart beating rapidly. I was awoken by my own scream.
“……What a way to wake up.”
That was the worst.
I had had an unbelievable dream. In the dream, Subaru-sama was a girl, and just because I knew that, he wanted to kill me…just by thinking about it, chills ran down my spine. That was a nightmare. It feels like I just watched that ‘walking on the bridge’ scene from the movie [Exorcist].
“………I should get up.”
I muttered while sighing.
I put on my glasses, which were on the pillow-side. What time is now? If I am late to school in the new semester, it will leave a bad impression.
“……Ah, what?”
My vision recovered, and what I saw was a strange scene. First, it wasn’t my room. An elongated, fluorescent lamp hung from the ceiling. A big, white bed and shelves full of chemicals were illuminated by it. Everything in this place was different from my room.
Infirmary.
There’s no doubt. I can tell because I’ve come here so many times. This is the academy infirmary. But why am I in the infirmary?
For the time being, I will just get up.
I tried to get up while my brain was still half asleep and moved the partition sheet that was covering the space to my right.
—And.
Suddenly, with a *Shring* like sound, my right hand stopped.
“…Shring?”
A harsh metallic sound. My right hand couldn’t move. If you looked closely, there was a silver colored metal.
Handcuff.
I had a handcuff on my wrist.
Surprisingly, that silver colored, inorganic device was connecting my right arm to the bed like lovers.
“……………”
Errr…what could this be?
By any chance, am I still dreaming? If this is true, this is a really bad dream. It feels like Freddy Kruger could appear at any moment.
In an attempt to somehow escape, *clatter**clatter* I moved my hand connected to the handcuff.
Shit, it didn’t work. It didn’t move an inch, as expected. This is probably how a stray dog feels when someone suddenly ties a collar around his neck. As long as it was tied, it would get food- a much better situation than mine right now.
“—Uh?”
A sharp pain suddenly ran through me. A headache, and a strong one at that. Without thinking, I placed my left hand on my head. This is strange…it was as if I had been beaten on the head with something really hard…
“……Un?”
Wait.
If it can move, does that mean that my left hand isn’t tied?
To make sure, I tried to move my left hand. Wow, it’s true. It’s only my right hand which is handcuffed. My left hand could move freely. I tried to figure out the situation, even if only a little, and took off the futon that was covering my left hand.
“………Huh?”
At that moment—I was about to scream for the second time.
A girl.
There was a girl.
A girl with lustrous, black twintails. She was sleeping comfortably, snuggling up next to me.
(Gyaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!!!)
I desperately suppressed the scream that was at the same level of loudness as an F1 rocket’s start-up. I stopped breathing. My poor heart could have stopped beating.
Of course. The girl that was sleeping at my side (wearing clothes, of course… more precisely, a uniform) looked very familiar to me.
Like Konoe, she wore clothing with an appearance different from that of a normal student’s uniform. Although it would normally be a violation of the rules, given this girl’s backing, you would let it slide.
If among the girls of Rouran Academy, the idol was Konoe Subaru, then among the guys, the idol was this girl. Distinguished good looks and proportions. Cool and beautiful. Graceful expressions. A clear head. Perfect scores in both sports and studies. This was truly the perfect student.
Suzutsuki Kanade.
Yes, this girl was the master of Konoe, whom he calls [Ojou-sama]. She was the only daughter of this school’s principal and, as the successor of the [Suzutsuki] name, was really an ojou-sama. This was Suzutsuki Kanade—the girl who was sleeping by my side.
By the way, even though we were in the same class, we have never even had a single conversation. This is a certainty. A mediocre commoner and the most beautiful girl in the school; there was a divide deeper than the Mariana Trench between us.
But then, why?
Why would this person be sleeping by my side?
“U, un….”
A small breath came out of the sleeping girl’s mouth.
This is bad.
Cold sweat was flowing down my back. Without any doubts, by my side now, there was a girl. She was close. It felt like the distance between us was shrinking with every breath. If a girl stays this close to me…
“…Un?……Ah, you woke up, Sakamachi-kun?”
A dignified voice. She awoke, opened her eyes, took a second look at my face, and got out of the bed.
“Are you okay? These handcuffs don’t hurt you, right? I think the size is correct.”
“………Huh?”
…………………
Wait a minute.
This girl, wasn’t she saying some unbelievable things?
“Do not worry, Sakamachi-kun.”
To me, who didn’t even know the situation, it felt like Suzutsuki stayed as calm as ever.
“The surgery was completed safely.”
“……Eh?”
“With this, you have also become one us, the shocker.”
“Wha—Whaaaaaaaaaaat!?”
I was stunned. This surgery was a remodeling surgery? And also, what does shocker mean…? What do I do? Suzutsuki Kanade… this girl had an unexpectedly high mental age.
“So, now that you have become a cyborg, you’re different from normal humans. Try to scream [Transform!]. This way, your hidden powers will be released.”
“Wha, what did you say? O-okay! Un-understood! Here we go! —Transform!”
I was lying on the bed while screaming that out loud.
Silence.
Cold silence dominated the infirmary.
…………………
Of course, nothing happened. There was no way that I could transform.
Or rather, what was I doing? What an embarrassment, for a high school student to scream [Transform!]………
“Gu, hahaha.”
I could hear a laugh.
Suzutsuki was laughing at something which she didn’t believe would happen. She was holding her stomach, looking as if she would die of suffocation at any time.
“Kuhuhu. Transform. He is a high schooler, and yet, ‘transform’……… Aha, ahahaha. Amazing. I wanted to make a painting of it to show to future generations.”
“………………”
Hey, I have some questions. This girl, is she really Suzutsuki Kanade? It was too much of a difference in attitude from when we were in class. Usually, Suzutsuki was more…reserved. I thought that was the true form of an ojou-sama. But the fact that she was truly beautiful won’t change.
“Err, Suzutsuki-san…can I ask a question?”
“Huhu, go ahead, Sakamachi-kun. Or would it be better for me to call you [Jirou] like our classmates do?”
“I don’t mind it either way………”
Jirou is a nickname I’ve had ever since a long time ago. Sakamachi Kinjirou – Jirou for short.
“Thank you, Jirou-kun. You may have a lot that you want to ask, but try to ask calmly.”
Fufu, Suzutsuki was laughing in a refined manner.
………What an occasion.
Now, for a moment, I became fascinated. Kuh, this girl was certainly Suzutsuki Kanade, the prettiest girl in the school. This title was not just for show. I became tense just by talking to her normally.
“Th- then, I will ask. Was it you who bound my hands?”
“Yes. Be careful. If it were to be released, the seal in your right arm would break.”
What’s with this cool story? Am I some battle anime protagonist?
“……Understood. Let’s put a hold on that matter. Next, why were you sleeping by my side?”
“Aah, I can’t? I was only taking a short nap….”
“Only……?”
Ua, I asked it again so calmly. This girl, didn’t she have even a bit of shame? I’m also a healthy high school boy, you know?
“Don’t worry, I don’t have any intentions of being violated by someone who can only use his left hand.”
“What kind of human do you think I am!?”
Who would do that sort of thing? Also, this infirmary had one more bed. Right now, it was hidden by a curtain, but there shouldn’t be anyone in there. If she wanted to sleep, she could sleep there.
“……Err, where’s the academy nurse, Nakamoto-sensei? Where did she go?”
When I took a look at the clock, it was only just past six in the evening. Usually, at this time, Nakamoto-sensei would be here waiting to lock the room if she hadn’t been released from her duties.
“Aah, she succumbed to my power.”
“Power?”
“Yeah. Because of it, she ran out of the infirmary room while crying after being slapped several times across the face.”
“What are you doing to that teacher!?”
That isn’t power; that is violence. This is sad. Nakamoto-sensei was a teacher with a weak mind. Currently, she is probably inside her car, crying and sobbing.
“Don’t worry. When I said that I slapped her, I didn’t mean with my palm.”
“Eh?”
“Yeah. With two wads of money, I slapped her three times on the cheek. Then she ran away from the infirmary while crying.”
“You bought her!? This is what people call corruption!”
“When I told her about Jirou-kun, she said, ‘I don’t give a damn about that guy!’, and gave me the keys to this place.”
“They were sold! My human rights were sold!”
“By the way, the price was 10,000 yen.”
“Wha—that was the price for a single person?”
“What are you saying? Human lives have no price.”
“The one who attached that price was you, and the one who bought it was also you.”
Even if you say a wad, it doesn’t necessarily mean that all the notes were 1,000 yen notes! To think that a healthy teacher would sell one of her students so easily………
“Nakamoto-sensei…I wonder if she’s struggling in various ways. She’s young, after all.”
“That might be true. But you understand, don’t you? Your rights to your life, whether you live or die, are all in my hands…”
Suzutsuki’s lips, which were usually serene, became twisted.
Scary…I instinctively felt fear. It felt like I was in front of a female vampire. I could be bitten if I relaxed even a little bit. *Shake*
“Then, what shall I do? First, I will start with the ear.”
“Ear? What are you planning to do to my ear?”
“Fufu, that was a joke. I’m not at that level of sadism. First will be your castration, of course—”
“Wait! What do you want, Suzutsuki-san? I’ll do anything that I can!!”
*Gachi**Gachi* I screamed with all of my might, and the handcuffs were clanging.
Suzutsuki Kanade.
My image of her had changed. She wasn’t just an [ojou-sama]. There’s no way that a normal ojou-sama would have this kind of sadistic personality.
“Don’t get me wrong. You can’t do anything for me.”
Suzutsuki clearly affirmed that.
“The reason for my arresting you is because you discovered my butler’s secret.”
“…………….”
Aah, as I had expected. When she appeared, I briefly thought that that could have been it. The nightmare from before wasn’t my imagination, but was the cold reality. In other words…
“Why…why did Konoe come to school dressed like a guy?”
I asked a direct question. She—who was Konoe Subaru’s master, this girl would…she would know everything. Probably.
“If you want to know, it is because of some family matters.”
“Family matters?”
“Yeah. That girl’s……the men of that girl’s family have served as butlers to my family for generations. For this reason, that girl became a butler.”
“……Why is it this troublesome? There’s no reason for that girl, Konoe, to do that. You could just let any of her brothers do that.”
“If I could, I would do that.”
Suzutsuki moved her eyebrows a little.
……Wait. Did I say something strange?
“Subaru is an only child. That’s why she became a butler. If she had a brother, there would have been no reason for her to be a butler.”
“Re, really? Then there’s no way.”
I wonder why. I had the feeling that her voice was trembling. It looked like she was trying to evade my question.
“But, my father—the school’s principal, gave some conditions for her to be my butler. And those were, ‘Go to the school as a male for three years, and don’t let anyone know that you are a girl.’ In other words, if she can’t do this, my father won’t let her be a butler of the Suzutsuki household. At least, I think that is what he meant.”
“……Eh? Then……”
“Yeah, that’s right. Today, you discovered that Subaru is a girl. Then she felt that because of this, she couldn’t be my butler anymore. For this reason, she tried to close your mouth at any cost. My butler has inconvenienced you.”
“…………”
Now that I think about it, where is Konoe? Don’t tell me that because she had her secret discovered, she turned into a ‘hikikomori’?
“Hey, where is Konoe?”
“Fufu, are you worried about her? If you want to see her, then you can see her straightaway. That’s because—Subaru is in this room.”
“…Eh!?”
In this room? Where?
While gazing at me, Suzutsuki walked to the side of the bed and she opened the curtain that was dividing the two beds, and there was…
“Wha—”
At that moment, I lost my words.
On the neighboring bed from where I was arrested.
Without doubts Konoe Subaru was here.
“Ungu—! Ungugug—!”
I heard a voice that didn’t sound normal.
Of course, there was a ring gag. Konoe’s mouth was forcefully packed with a black mouth piece. And it wasn’t only that. She also had a chain entangling her whole body. Probably she also had her hands tied behind her back.
She was completely bound.
Looking at the scene which was unfolding in front of my eyes, I thought that I was lucky to have only my hands bound. Literally, Konoe Subaru was sitting on the bed with her body completely restrained.
“He…hey, what is that…?”
I let out a shaking voice. Right, now I’m convinced that there were reasons for Suzutsuki to sleep on my bed, but…
“Eh? Don’t tell me, that this isn’t going to satisfy you? Fufun, you are also a little sadistic. There’s no helping it. Then I will put this nose hook…”
“Stop it! Why are you doing these things!? Isn’t Konoe your butler?!”
“E—, but I was only doing that for your sake…”
“When did I ask for such a thing?”
“I thought that you would be glad.”
“I am sorry, but I don’t have this kind of weird hobby.”
Whoa, seriously. This is too abnormal. If this doesn’t become a little more soft-core, I can’t follow her.
“Then, is it alright if I remove all of these?”
“Of course.”
“I understand, but don’t regret it.”
“As if I’m going to!”
If you don’t, I have the impression that my human side is going to die. But anyway, what a girl, to tie up her own butler. This girl, isn’t she a completely different person than when she was in class?
“Cough—! Cough—!”
*Gachi**gachi* The ring gag was released and Konoe started coughing.
“Tha, that was horrible, Ojou-sama. Why did you do such a thing!?”
Aah, it was certain that she was going to protest. She was tied up by her own master. This is a violation of the Labor Standards Act.
But there are no more reasons to worry. Now to just release the chain that was encompassing her body and Konoe will be free…
“Please…please release this chain quickly! If you don’t, I can’t kill that pervert.”
“…………”
Strange…I have the feeling that just now, I heard some dangerous phrases…
“Hey, you damn pervert! Just stay trembling there and wait for me! I will kill you! I will really kill you! I will give you a blow to your brain and send it flying to Argentina.”
Right when Konoe’s mouth was unbound, it started screaming my death sentences.
Whoa! I forgot! That girl is somehow trying to send me into the darkness…!
“There’s no need to hurry so much, Subaru. I will release the chains now.”
With a sadistic smile, Suzutsuki put her hands on the chains that were binding Konoe.
“Wa- wait a moment! Stop it, Suzutsuki!”
At the same time.
Right when I said those words, Suzutsuki’s fingers stopped.
But the face she had now was wearing a mysterious smile.
“Did something happen, Jirou-kun? I was only doing as you told me and releasing Subaru.”
That girl, she raised her lips as if she was having fun down to the deepest part of her heart.
“I forgot to tell you, but you are only safe now because I put my own hands into this situation. It was me who saved you when you were about to die in the science room. It was also me who stopped Subaru’s rage. Then, Jirou-kun, now can you understand your own position here?”
“Yes, I understand it now, Suzutsuki-san…”
“Eh? Sorry, but what did you say just now? I couldn’t hear it, so…could I ask for you to repeat that one more time?”
“…Yeah, thank you very much for saving me, Suzutsuki-sama.”
“Fufufu, it’s okay if you understand.”
Like she was satisfied, Suzutsuki pulled her finger away from the chain.
…Just now I realized one thing.
Suzutsuki Kanade.
Without any doubts, she is an “S.”(1) Or rather, a big “S.” What a sadistic hobby. Different from when she was in class, the current Suzutsuki was shining like a black sun. This was the truth of the most beautiful girl in the school. Err…this is strange. Suddenly, my vision blurred.
“This can’t be! Please, release these chains, Ojou-sama!”
*Gachi**gachi* Konoe was screaming while shaking the padlock.
“That pervert forcefully touched my breasts! And what’s more, that criminal got excited and had a nosebleed. We have to kill him right away!”
“Hey, I already told you that was an accident! I didn’t want to do anything bad! And you already hit me enough, didn’t you?!”
“Shut up! Even if you say that I hit you, it wasn’t enough! At the very least, it has to be until that fire extinguisher bends!”
“You are clearly trying to become a murderer!”
If I wasn’t me, I would be backstroking on the River Sanzu(2). Only in such situations am I grateful for my toughness.
“Even if you are wearing clothes like a boy, why are you still using panties? Wear trunks!”
“S, shut up! Boy’s underwear is just disgusting. I can’t use them!”
‘Hah, hah’, Konoe was breathing hard.
“Besides, it is your fault…because of you, I am going to get fired from my work as a butler! What are you going to do?”
“Don’t get angry. Nowadays in Japan, it isn’t so strange to see people unemployed. Tomorrow I will go with you to an unemployment office.”
“I don’t want that! Kuh! No matter what, I have to stay as Ojou-sama’s butler…kuh!”
Geh. This is dangerous. She’s about to cry. Or rather, she was already crying. While Konoe held back her sobs, a mass of tears was sliding down her face.
“I will curse you. Be aware that if I get fired, I will appear below your bed!”
“No, that doesn’t mean that you are going to die.”
“For me it is the same. It will feel like I am dying.”
Wah! What I do? With the way she said it, I had to panic! I’ve never had any experience with girls from outside of my family crying in my whole life. I’ve never gone through any situation like this before. It felt like there was an infection by some unknown virus.
“Relax, Subaru, it’s alright.”
She smiled like an angel. Her tone of voice would make anyone who heard it become calm.
“For what reason do you think I tied Jirou-kun? It was for you to not have to stop being a butler, right?”
“…………”
Err—, what does that mean?
The remark was too sinister for me to even try to protest—. At that moment.
Suzutsuki jumped on my waist as if she was riding a horse.
“!!!!!”
My breath stopped.
Light.
I wouldn’t say that she was as light as a feather, but Suzutsuki’s body was unexpectedly light.
“…But…that doesn’t matter!”
“I wonder, what doesn’t matter?”
While playing around with her long hair, Suzutsuki looked calm, as if she was taking a coffee break. I, who was reluctant, had my mouth open like a suffocated goldfish. Or rather, I was suffocating.
“Jirou-kun. Does your body have any special conditions?”
Gulp.
“I heard from Subaru. When you had a nosebleed, you said something about your body…”
Hii—. This girl suddenly came to a painful point. My heart started to race. I had the sensation that my mouth was burning.
“Nee, you’re pretending to stay quiet?”
Judge Suzutsuki’s special interrogation court session. The defendant was, of course, me. Now that it came to it, I will have to stay silent. For the time that I am tied up, I will keep my mouth closed and somehow get through this situation.
“This is also fine. Now that you have turned this way—I will directly ask your body!”
“Eeh—?”
When I realized what she said, she, who was riding on my waist, was twisting her mouth in a weird shape. After that, those white fingers started to remove my shirt buttons one by one.
“Hey, hey, why are you removing my clothes!?”
“Stay still. You know, my hands could go crazy and hurt your internal organs.”
“Don’t say this kind of fearful thing so easily!”
“By the way, the grip strength of each of my hands surpasses 80 kilograms.”
“Don’t lie!”
“Fufu, I got found out, but it’s alright. In my household, we have a torture technique that goes back through the generations, it will take out your rib in one bl—”
“Stop it! I understand! I understand, so stop touching me—!”
Even if I put all of my might into a scream, it looked like it wouldn’t reach Suzutsuki.
In the unbuttoned gap of my shirt, that white finger was sliding like a snake on my ribs. Thin fingers. With that cold feeling on my skin, my heart *dokun* jumped.
This was bad—
This feeling like all of the blood in my body was being concentrated on a single point.
My face was hot. The interior of my nose became irritated.
This is the worst…I can’t endure it anymore.
*Spluurt*
The sound of something spraying out.
My vision had gone red.
Nose bleed.
Sure enough, I had a nose bleed from being touched by Suzutsuki Kanade.
“Th—This big perv! How could you?! How could you get excited from Ojou-sama’s touch and have a nose bleed…?!”
I could hear a furious voice coming from the bed to my side.
To my front was Suzutsuki, whose body and face had been dyed red because of my blood.
“Fufu…I see. This is interesting.”
Suzutsuki, while thinking, narrowed her eyes.
“Don’t tell me, that your body has nosebleeds from being touched by girls?”
“Eh?” A question mark appeared above Konoe’s head. Maybe above my head, the two kanjis for despair were hovering there(3).
They discovered it. The secret that nobody besides my family members knew was discovered by the girls of my class…
“Maybe it is an allergy? But this is a condition that I haven’t heard of before.”
“…iiya, this isn’t an allergy. This was unnaturally acquired.”
“Hey, do you know ‘Sakamachi Akemi’?” I asked statically.
“I know her. She appeared a lot on television some time ago, right? If I’m not wrong she was a—female pro wrestler.”
That’s right. Sakamachi Akemi. The female pro wrestler who had the nickname [Senketsu no Jou](4), and she had won a lot of titles. Her name was known worldwide, which is why she had appeared so many times on TV.
And, what I was trying to hide…
“The fact is, that person is my mother.”
“This is the first time that I’ve heard of this.”
Unexpectedly, Suzutsuki was surprised.
“But how is that related to your condition?”
Konoe was staring with wondering eyes.
At first glance, it didn’t seem to be related, but it was greatly related. This was tied more tightly than the gandanium alloy.
“Err, how do I put it…? I get beaten.”
“Ha?”
Suzutsuki and Konoe opened their mouths together in response to my words.
“In my household, my mom loves to talk about fights, and it’s not just that, my sister who is one year younger than me also loves that. Since I am also a kid, living with that battle maniac family, I grew up while getting beaten every day…”
Ah, just remembering that made me feel bad.
Sandbag.
If I had to say it in one word, my position inside my own family was that of a sandbag.
Brain buster, STO, Frankenstein, Texas clover hold…etc, etc, etc. The number of times this body had been hit by their techniques was vaster than the number of stars you could count in the night sky.
“[This is to train you!] or [Love Whip!] or [I love you, Onii-chan!]… I have lived through 10 years of being beaten by my mother and my little sister while hearing that… The result was this embarrassing condition…”
Gynophobia.
If I were to explain, those words would be the fastest way. The influence of this twisted family relationship was that I became too weak to the touch of women. But also thanks to that, my body became very strong.
“But why do you have nosebleeds?”
“I don’t know it very well myself, but it could be called a habit, and, I thought that maybe if I had a nosebleed, they would stop beating me. But it eventually resulted in the worst outcome of me bleeding from simply being touched by a girl…”
“…But, this is family kindness. They wouldn’t keep beating you if you were bleeding, right?”
“…No, that’s wrong. I once heard them talking about the room becoming dirty.”
“………”
Konoe became speechless. She looked at me with eyes like she was looking at a soaked dog in the rain. It looks like she is thinking pitiful things about me. This could mean that she is a better person than I had originally believed.
“I see, so this is what’s going on.”
While sitting on my hips, Suzutsuki opened her mouth.
“You’re a chicken who can’t help but to fear a girl’s touch.”
*Gusa* I felt like a knife had pierced straight into my heart.
Uwaaa, why is this girl saying that so straightforwardly? That’s too much of a fast ball. If you don’t throw a breaking ball, my heart won’t be able to take it with its wooden bat.
“Nee, isn’t that right? Sakamachi Kinjirou-kun?”
“!?”
Now you’re calling me by my full name? Do—don’t tell me, this girl…noticed? The secret of my name that no one had noticed up until now…!
“What’s up with you? Say something. Sakamachi Kinjirou-kun.”
“…………”
“Saka-machi Kin-jirou-kun.”
“…………”
“Sakama, Chicken, Jirou-kun.”
“…………”
“Chicken-kun?”
“Uwaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!”
Not being able to handle it, I screamed out loud.
“What’s happening, Chicken-kun? There’s sports drink coming out of your eyes.”
“Stop! Don’t call me by that name!”
…I’m cursed. It can’t be anything besides that. They say that the name determines the body, and that is indeed true. Chicken… I can’t believe that such an annoying word was incorporated into my own name…
“This is a good name, isn’t it? There’s nothing to be so ashamed of.”
“How did you come to that conclusion from our talk?”
“That’s right. In the future, you should marry a person named [Okamachi]. If you do that, it will be more fun.”
“Ha?”
Okamachi Kinjirou.
Oka-machi Kin-jirou.
Okama(5), Chicken, Jirou.
“Ne? That’s fun, right?”
“That’s not fun! How can you think about such things so easily!?”
Was this girl a demon?
Devil Suzutsuki.
From now on, I will call her by this name in my mind. This was the only form of resistance I could put up against her dominance.
“That’s not very good.”
“Wha—!? You can read my heart?”
“If you are going to call me by another name, then call me [The Slaughter Angel Kanade-sama].”
“Heinous! This is becoming even more heinous than before!”
“Or even [Lyrical ☆Kana-chan].”
“A hundred and eighty degrees of difference! This definitely doesn’t fit you!”
“Then [Slaughter Angel ☆Kana-chan].”
“Don’t mix them!”
Conclusion.
Suzutsuki certainly was Suzutsuki. She managed to drain all of my energy.
“By the way, Jirou-kun.”
Suddenly, Suzutsuki’s mood changed.
“Do you want to cure your phobia?”
“Yes. If I can, I want to cure it.”
Try having a body that has a nosebleed every time you’re carelessly touched by a girl. You would be misunderstood, like what happened before with Konoe. It would be a solitary life resulting in low birth rates and longevity(6). What I really wanted… was to cure this phobia right away. I wanted to be cured and start touching girls.
“Then, should we help you?”
My ears couldn’t believe those words.
“I think that your phobia is only a sense of fear imprinted onto your body against girls. Then, as a reflex, your body reacts with a nose bleed, like a Pavlovian dog(7). But if we wipe out this sense of fear, you won’t have nosebleeds anymore, right?”
“That is…”
What’s that? I had the feeling that what Suzutsuki was saying was correct. But, how would I wipe out the sense of fear?
“I’m telling you that we are going to help.”
With a resolute attitude, Suzutsuki proclaimed.
“We will help you with the curing of your phobia. I think that the only requirement is to make you unafraid of girls. Along with Subaru, I will lend you the necessary assistance. In return…”
“In return…?”
“I want you to not tell anyone that Subaru is a girl.”
She even went so far as to add on, “Even if you have to die.”
I know what you want to say. In other words, an exchange of conditions. In exchange for me protecting Konoe’s secret until the end, even if it meant my death, they would help me heal my gynophobia.
“My father hasn’t heard yet that you discovered Subaru’s secret. If you protect Subaru’s secret, he would never realize that we’ve broken the conditions.”
“This is clearly fraud.”
“It’s okay if he doesn’t find out. So, will you make a deal with me?”
“Instead of making a deal, it’s more like we would become partners in crime.”
“Wonderful. I like it. Being partners in crime like this— quite interesting. I feel that I won’t be bored.”
“…By the way, what would happen if I broke the conditions?”
“Then I would have no other options but to take tough measures like Subaru did. In a month from now, an unidentified body would be found in the Fuji forest area.”(8)
Uwah, this girl could say fearful things in such a straightforward manner. What about the partnership? This is clearly blackmail. But…it doesn’t matter if it’s a complicity or blackmail—currently, I have no other options.
“I understand. I will follow your orders, Suzutsuki. But…is Konoe okay with that?”
I took a glance at Konoe who was off to the side. If it’s this girl who had called me a pervert, then she wouldn’t want to make a deal with me.
Though surprisingly, Konoe thought for a second with her head down, then said,
“I am Kanade Ojou-sama’s butler. I will follow her orders. Also…”
“Also…?”
“No…it’s nothing.”
For some reason, I couldn’t imagine what Konoe was going to say.
“Fufu. Then, it’s decided.”
Suzutsuki was laughing very happily. Maybe she saw something fun?
“By the way, Jirou-kun, is the only symptom of your gynophobia having a nosebleed? What happens if you are continually touched by a girl, even while you’re having a nosebleed?”
“Eh? Well…I probably will not be able to endure it and will faint due to blood loss.”
Really, how many times have I fainted while being beaten by my mother and my little sister? I don’t know what they did after that, but I woke up safely, thus I think that they didn’t do any bad things to me.
“But how is that relat—”
And.
I said all that and became speechless.
Rather, I was silenced.
Suzutsuki’s fingers were spread out on my ribs.
“Err, excuse me, Suzutsuki-san?”
“Don’t worry, Jirou-kun. This is an experiment. For future reference, I have to know how long your body can endure.”
The devil Suzutsuki was smiling in the shape of a crescent moon.
This was dangerous. This girl, is was clearly enjoying this.
“Stop that! There’s no need for you to do such a thing, hyan!”
“Ufufu. Although I only touched you a little, you gave me such a cute voice.”
That thin and long finger slid up and down my skin multiple times.
I can’t stand it. Looking from the outside, it would seem like a heavenly situation, but for me who had gynophobia, it was close to torture. My vision was about to fade. This way my sould will come out and make a trip to the other world.
“Please, save me, Konoe. If this continues, I will really faint.”
With a blurred voice, I sent an SOS with all of my might to the bed to my side.
“I am a butler, not a magician. That’s why I can’t leave this chain.”
Saying that, Subaru-sama silently closed her eyes.
“Hey! Don’t pretend to be asleep! I beg of you, don’t overlook this- hyaaaa!”
“Ara, Jirou-kun, you have a birth mark on this place. Cute. And this body trained by your family is very tight. If it’s like this, then even after you faint, I can have fun.”
*Fufu* Suzutsuki’s laughing voice was resounding loudly.
Aaah, from today onwards, will this be my normal daily life?
My consciousness was gradually fading away.
In the middle of this, I prayed to God for the safety of my chastity.
TRANSLATOR NOTES AND REFERENCES
(1) “S” stands for sadist. Its counterpart, “M”, stands for masochist.
(2) The Sanzu River, literally the “River of Three Crossings”, is similar to the Greek River Styx. It is part of Japanese Buddhist traditions.
(3) Despair is written as 絶望.
(4) The Queen of Fresh Blood.
(5) Okama [オカマ] means transvestite.
(6) This refers to Japan’s growing population of elderly people due to a declining national birth rate.
(7) He did his research on “conditioned reflexes” using his dogs.
(8) Also known as the Sea of Trees, which has a very popular name that you may have heard of before.
Volume 1
Chapter 1 Part 3
“Gyaaaaaaaaaaaa!!!”
Suddenly, my consciousness returned. Turning to the side, *Baku**Baku*, I placed my hands on my chest and felt my heart beating rapidly. I was awoken by my own scream.
“……What a way to wake up.”
That was the worst.
I had had an unbelievable dream. In the dream, Subaru-sama was a girl, and just because I knew that, he wanted to kill me…just by thinking about it, chills ran down my spine. That was a nightmare. It feels like I just watched that ‘walking on the bridge’ scene from the movie [Exorcist].
“………I should get up.”
I muttered while sighing.
I put on my glasses, which were on the pillow-side. What time is now? If I am late to school in the new semester, it will leave a bad impression.
“……Ah, what?”
My vision recovered, and what I saw was a strange scene. First, it wasn’t my room. An elongated, fluorescent lamp hung from the ceiling. A big, white bed and shelves full of chemicals were illuminated by it. Everything in this place was different from my room.
Infirmary.
There’s no doubt. I can tell because I’ve come here so many times. This is the academy infirmary. But why am I in the infirmary?
For the time being, I will just get up.
I tried to get up while my brain was still half asleep and moved the partition sheet that was covering the space to my right.
—And.
Suddenly, with a *Shring* like sound, my right hand stopped.
“…Shring?”
A harsh metallic sound. My right hand couldn’t move. If you looked closely, there was a silver colored metal.
Handcuff.
I had a handcuff on my wrist.
Surprisingly, that silver colored, inorganic device was connecting my right arm to the bed like lovers.
“……………”
Errr…what could this be?
By any chance, am I still dreaming? If this is true, this is a really bad dream. It feels like Freddy Kruger could appear at any moment.
In an attempt to somehow escape, *clatter**clatter* I moved my hand connected to the handcuff.
Shit, it didn’t work. It didn’t move an inch, as expected. This is probably how a stray dog feels when someone suddenly ties a collar around his neck. As long as it was tied, it would get food- a much better situation than mine right now.
“—Uh?”
A sharp pain suddenly ran through me. A headache, and a strong one at that. Without thinking, I placed my left hand on my head. This is strange…it was as if I had been beaten on the head with something really hard…
“……Un?”
Wait.
If it can move, does that mean that my left hand isn’t tied?
To make sure, I tried to move my left hand. Wow, it’s true. It’s only my right hand which is handcuffed. My left hand could move freely. I tried to figure out the situation, even if only a little, and took off the futon that was covering my left hand.
“………Huh?”
At that moment—I was about to scream for the second time.
A girl.
There was a girl.
A girl with lustrous, black twintails. She was sleeping comfortably, snuggling up next to me.
(Gyaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!!!)
I desperately suppressed the scream that was at the same level of loudness as an F1 rocket’s start-up. I stopped breathing. My poor heart could have stopped beating.
Of course. The girl that was sleeping at my side (wearing clothes, of course… more precisely, a uniform) looked very familiar to me.
Like Konoe, she wore clothing with an appearance different from that of a normal student’s uniform. Although it would normally be a violation of the rules, given this girl’s backing, you would let it slide.
If among the girls of Rouran Academy, the idol was Konoe Subaru, then among the guys, the idol was this girl. Distinguished good looks and proportions. Cool and beautiful. Graceful expressions. A clear head. Perfect scores in both sports and studies. This was truly the perfect student.
Suzutsuki Kanade.
Yes, this girl was the master of Konoe, whom he calls [Ojou-sama]. She was the only daughter of this school’s principal and, as the successor of the [Suzutsuki] name, was really an ojou-sama. This was Suzutsuki Kanade—the girl who was sleeping by my side.
By the way, even though we were in the same class, we have never even had a single conversation. This is a certainty. A mediocre commoner and the most beautiful girl in the school; there was a divide deeper than the Mariana Trench between us.
But then, why?
Why would this person be sleeping by my side?
“U, un….”
A small breath came out of the sleeping girl’s mouth.
This is bad.
Cold sweat was flowing down my back. Without any doubts, by my side now, there was a girl. She was close. It felt like the distance between us was shrinking with every breath. If a girl stays this close to me…
“…Un?……Ah, you woke up, Sakamachi-kun?”
A dignified voice. She awoke, opened her eyes, took a second look at my face, and got out of the bed.
“Are you okay? These handcuffs don’t hurt you, right? I think the size is correct.”
“………Huh?”
…………………
Wait a minute.
This girl, wasn’t she saying some unbelievable things?
“Do not worry, Sakamachi-kun.”
To me, who didn’t even know the situation, it felt like Suzutsuki stayed as calm as ever.
“The surgery was completed safely.”
“……Eh?”
“With this, you have also become one us, the shocker.”
“Wha—Whaaaaaaaaaaat!?”
I was stunned. This surgery was a remodeling surgery? And also, what does shocker mean…? What do I do? Suzutsuki Kanade… this girl had an unexpectedly high mental age.
“So, now that you have become a cyborg, you’re different from normal humans. Try to scream [Transform!]. This way, your hidden powers will be released.”
“Wha, what did you say? O-okay! Un-understood! Here we go! —Transform!”
I was lying on the bed while screaming that out loud.
Silence.
Cold silence dominated the infirmary.
…………………
Of course, nothing happened. There was no way that I could transform.
Or rather, what was I doing? What an embarrassment, for a high school student to scream [Transform!]………
“Gu, hahaha.”
I could hear a laugh.
Suzutsuki was laughing at something which she didn’t believe would happen. She was holding her stomach, looking as if she would die of suffocation at any time.
“Kuhuhu. Transform. He is a high schooler, and yet, ‘transform’……… Aha, ahahaha. Amazing. I wanted to make a painting of it to show to future generations.”
“………………”
Hey, I have some questions. This girl, is she really Suzutsuki Kanade? It was too much of a difference in attitude from when we were in class. Usually, Suzutsuki was more…reserved. I thought that was the true form of an ojou-sama. But the fact that she was truly beautiful won’t change.
“Err, Suzutsuki-san…can I ask a question?”
“Huhu, go ahead, Sakamachi-kun. Or would it be better for me to call you [Jirou] like our classmates do?”
“I don’t mind it either way………”
Jirou is a nickname I’ve had ever since a long time ago. Sakamachi Kinjirou – Jirou for short.
“Thank you, Jirou-kun. You may have a lot that you want to ask, but try to ask calmly.”
Fufu, Suzutsuki was laughing in a refined manner.
………What an occasion.
Now, for a moment, I became fascinated. Kuh, this girl was certainly Suzutsuki Kanade, the prettiest girl in the school. This title was not just for show. I became tense just by talking to her normally.
“Th- then, I will ask. Was it you who bound my hands?”
“Yes. Be careful. If it were to be released, the seal in your right arm would break.”
What’s with this cool story? Am I some battle anime protagonist?
“……Understood. Let’s put a hold on that matter. Next, why were you sleeping by my side?”
“Aah, I can’t? I was only taking a short nap….”
“Only……?”
Ua, I asked it again so calmly. This girl, didn’t she have even a bit of shame? I’m also a healthy high school boy, you know?
“Don’t worry, I don’t have any intentions of being violated by someone who can only use his left hand.”
“What kind of human do you think I am!?”
Who would do that sort of thing? Also, this infirmary had one more bed. Right now, it was hidden by a curtain, but there shouldn’t be anyone in there. If she wanted to sleep, she could sleep there.
“……Err, where’s the academy nurse, Nakamoto-sensei? Where did she go?”
When I took a look at the clock, it was only just past six in the evening. Usually, at this time, Nakamoto-sensei would be here waiting to lock the room if she hadn’t been released from her duties.
“Aah, she succumbed to my power.”
“Power?”
“Yeah. Because of it, she ran out of the infirmary room while crying after being slapped several times across the face.”
“What are you doing to that teacher!?”
That isn’t power; that is violence. This is sad. Nakamoto-sensei was a teacher with a weak mind. Currently, she is probably inside her car, crying and sobbing.
“Don’t worry. When I said that I slapped her, I didn’t mean with my palm.”
“Eh?”
“Yeah. With two wads of money, I slapped her three times on the cheek. Then she ran away from the infirmary while crying.”
“You bought her!? This is what people call corruption!”
“When I told her about Jirou-kun, she said, ‘I don’t give a damn about that guy!’, and gave me the keys to this place.”
“They were sold! My human rights were sold!”
“By the way, the price was 10,000 yen.”
“Wha—that was the price for a single person?”
“What are you saying? Human lives have no price.”
“The one who attached that price was you, and the one who bought it was also you.”
Even if you say a wad, it doesn’t necessarily mean that all the notes were 1,000 yen notes! To think that a healthy teacher would sell one of her students so easily………
“Nakamoto-sensei…I wonder if she’s struggling in various ways. She’s young, after all.”
“That might be true. But you understand, don’t you? Your rights to your life, whether you live or die, are all in my hands…”
Suzutsuki’s lips, which were usually serene, became twisted.
Scary…I instinctively felt fear. It felt like I was in front of a female vampire. I could be bitten if I relaxed even a little bit. *Shake*
“Then, what shall I do? First, I will start with the ear.”
“Ear? What are you planning to do to my ear?”
“Fufu, that was a joke. I’m not at that level of sadism. First will be your castration, of course—”
“Wait! What do you want, Suzutsuki-san? I’ll do anything that I can!!”
*Gachi**Gachi* I screamed with all of my might, and the handcuffs were clanging.
Suzutsuki Kanade.
My image of her had changed. She wasn’t just an [ojou-sama]. There’s no way that a normal ojou-sama would have this kind of sadistic personality.
“Don’t get me wrong. You can’t do anything for me.”
Suzutsuki clearly affirmed that.
“The reason for my arresting you is because you discovered my butler’s secret.”
“…………….”
Aah, as I had expected. When she appeared, I briefly thought that that could have been it. The nightmare from before wasn’t my imagination, but was the cold reality. In other words…
“Why…why did Konoe come to school dressed like a guy?”
I asked a direct question. She—who was Konoe Subaru’s master, this girl would…she would know everything. Probably.
“If you want to know, it is because of some family matters.”
“Family matters?”
“Yeah. That girl’s……the men of that girl’s family have served as butlers to my family for generations. For this reason, that girl became a butler.”
“……Why is it this troublesome? There’s no reason for that girl, Konoe, to do that. You could just let any of her brothers do that.”
“If I could, I would do that.”
Suzutsuki moved her eyebrows a little.
……Wait. Did I say something strange?
“Subaru is an only child. That’s why she became a butler. If she had a brother, there would have been no reason for her to be a butler.”
“Re, really? Then there’s no way.”
I wonder why. I had the feeling that her voice was trembling. It looked like she was trying to evade my question.
“But, my father—the school’s principal, gave some conditions for her to be my butler. And those were, ‘Go to the school as a male for three years, and don’t let anyone know that you are a girl.’ In other words, if she can’t do this, my father won’t let her be a butler of the Suzutsuki household. At least, I think that is what he meant.”
“……Eh? Then……”
“Yeah, that’s right. Today, you discovered that Subaru is a girl. Then she felt that because of this, she couldn’t be my butler anymore. For this reason, she tried to close your mouth at any cost. My butler has inconvenienced you.”
“…………”
Now that I think about it, where is Konoe? Don’t tell me that because she had her secret discovered, she turned into a ‘hikikomori’?
“Hey, where is Konoe?”
“Fufu, are you worried about her? If you want to see her, then you can see her straightaway. That’s because—Subaru is in this room.”
“…Eh!?”
In this room? Where?
While gazing at me, Suzutsuki walked to the side of the bed and she opened the curtain that was dividing the two beds, and there was…
“Wha—”
At that moment, I lost my words.
On the neighboring bed from where I was arrested.
Without doubts Konoe Subaru was here.
“Ungu—! Ungugug—!”
I heard a voice that didn’t sound normal.
Of course, there was a ring gag. Konoe’s mouth was forcefully packed with a black mouth piece. And it wasn’t only that. She also had a chain entangling her whole body. Probably she also had her hands tied behind her back.
She was completely bound.
Looking at the scene which was unfolding in front of my eyes, I thought that I was lucky to have only my hands bound. Literally, Konoe Subaru was sitting on the bed with her body completely restrained.
“He…hey, what is that…?”
I let out a shaking voice. Right, now I’m convinced that there were reasons for Suzutsuki to sleep on my bed, but…
“Eh? Don’t tell me, that this isn’t going to satisfy you? Fufun, you are also a little sadistic. There’s no helping it. Then I will put this nose hook…”
“Stop it! Why are you doing these things!? Isn’t Konoe your butler?!”
“E—, but I was only doing that for your sake…”
“When did I ask for such a thing?”
“I thought that you would be glad.”
“I am sorry, but I don’t have this kind of weird hobby.”
Whoa, seriously. This is too abnormal. If this doesn’t become a little more soft-core, I can’t follow her.
“Then, is it alright if I remove all of these?”
“Of course.”
“I understand, but don’t regret it.”
“As if I’m going to!”
If you don’t, I have the impression that my human side is going to die. But anyway, what a girl, to tie up her own butler. This girl, isn’t she a completely different person than when she was in class?
“Cough—! Cough—!”
*Gachi**gachi* The ring gag was released and Konoe started coughing.
“Tha, that was horrible, Ojou-sama. Why did you do such a thing!?”
Aah, it was certain that she was going to protest. She was tied up by her own master. This is a violation of the Labor Standards Act.
But there are no more reasons to worry. Now to just release the chain that was encompassing her body and Konoe will be free…
“Please…please release this chain quickly! If you don’t, I can’t kill that pervert.”
“…………”
Strange…I have the feeling that just now, I heard some dangerous phrases…
“Hey, you damn pervert! Just stay trembling there and wait for me! I will kill you! I will really kill you! I will give you a blow to your brain and send it flying to Argentina.”
Right when Konoe’s mouth was unbound, it started screaming my death sentences.
Whoa! I forgot! That girl is somehow trying to send me into the darkness…!
“There’s no need to hurry so much, Subaru. I will release the chains now.”
With a sadistic smile, Suzutsuki put her hands on the chains that were binding Konoe.
“Wa- wait a moment! Stop it, Suzutsuki!”
At the same time.
Right when I said those words, Suzutsuki’s fingers stopped.
But the face she had now was wearing a mysterious smile.
“Did something happen, Jirou-kun? I was only doing as you told me and releasing Subaru.”
That girl, she raised her lips as if she was having fun down to the deepest part of her heart.
“I forgot to tell you, but you are only safe now because I put my own hands into this situation. It was me who saved you when you were about to die in the science room. It was also me who stopped Subaru’s rage. Then, Jirou-kun, now can you understand your own position here?”
“Yes, I understand it now, Suzutsuki-san…”
“Eh? Sorry, but what did you say just now? I couldn’t hear it, so…could I ask for you to repeat that one more time?”
“…Yeah, thank you very much for saving me, Suzutsuki-sama.”
“Fufufu, it’s okay if you understand.”
Like she was satisfied, Suzutsuki pulled her finger away from the chain.
…Just now I realized one thing.
Suzutsuki Kanade.
Without any doubts, she is an “S.”(1) Or rather, a big “S.” What a sadistic hobby. Different from when she was in class, the current Suzutsuki was shining like a black sun. This was the truth of the most beautiful girl in the school. Err…this is strange. Suddenly, my vision blurred.
“This can’t be! Please, release these chains, Ojou-sama!”
*Gachi**gachi* Konoe was screaming while shaking the padlock.
“That pervert forcefully touched my breasts! And what’s more, that criminal got excited and had a nosebleed. We have to kill him right away!”
“Hey, I already told you that was an accident! I didn’t want to do anything bad! And you already hit me enough, didn’t you?!”
“Shut up! Even if you say that I hit you, it wasn’t enough! At the very least, it has to be until that fire extinguisher bends!”
“You are clearly trying to become a murderer!”
If I wasn’t me, I would be backstroking on the River Sanzu(2). Only in such situations am I grateful for my toughness.
“Even if you are wearing clothes like a boy, why are you still using panties? Wear trunks!”
“S, shut up! Boy’s underwear is just disgusting. I can’t use them!”
‘Hah, hah’, Konoe was breathing hard.
“Besides, it is your fault…because of you, I am going to get fired from my work as a butler! What are you going to do?”
“Don’t get angry. Nowadays in Japan, it isn’t so strange to see people unemployed. Tomorrow I will go with you to an unemployment office.”
“I don’t want that! Kuh! No matter what, I have to stay as Ojou-sama’s butler…kuh!”
Geh. This is dangerous. She’s about to cry. Or rather, she was already crying. While Konoe held back her sobs, a mass of tears was sliding down her face.
“I will curse you. Be aware that if I get fired, I will appear below your bed!”
“No, that doesn’t mean that you are going to die.”
“For me it is the same. It will feel like I am dying.”
Wah! What I do? With the way she said it, I had to panic! I’ve never had any experience with girls from outside of my family crying in my whole life. I’ve never gone through any situation like this before. It felt like there was an infection by some unknown virus.
“Relax, Subaru, it’s alright.”
She smiled like an angel. Her tone of voice would make anyone who heard it become calm.
“For what reason do you think I tied Jirou-kun? It was for you to not have to stop being a butler, right?”
“…………”
Err—, what does that mean?
The remark was too sinister for me to even try to protest—. At that moment.
Suzutsuki jumped on my waist as if she was riding a horse.
“!!!!!”
My breath stopped.
Light.
I wouldn’t say that she was as light as a feather, but Suzutsuki’s body was unexpectedly light.
“…But…that doesn’t matter!”
“I wonder, what doesn’t matter?”
While playing around with her long hair, Suzutsuki looked calm, as if she was taking a coffee break. I, who was reluctant, had my mouth open like a suffocated goldfish. Or rather, I was suffocating.
“Jirou-kun. Does your body have any special conditions?”
Gulp.
“I heard from Subaru. When you had a nosebleed, you said something about your body…”
Hii—. This girl suddenly came to a painful point. My heart started to race. I had the sensation that my mouth was burning.
“Nee, you’re pretending to stay quiet?”
Judge Suzutsuki’s special interrogation court session. The defendant was, of course, me. Now that it came to it, I will have to stay silent. For the time that I am tied up, I will keep my mouth closed and somehow get through this situation.
“This is also fine. Now that you have turned this way—I will directly ask your body!”
“Eeh—?”
When I realized what she said, she, who was riding on my waist, was twisting her mouth in a weird shape. After that, those white fingers started to remove my shirt buttons one by one.
“Hey, hey, why are you removing my clothes!?”
“Stay still. You know, my hands could go crazy and hurt your internal organs.”
“Don’t say this kind of fearful thing so easily!”
“By the way, the grip strength of each of my hands surpasses 80 kilograms.”
“Don’t lie!”
“Fufu, I got found out, but it’s alright. In my household, we have a torture technique that goes back through the generations, it will take out your rib in one bl—”
“Stop it! I understand! I understand, so stop touching me—!”
Even if I put all of my might into a scream, it looked like it wouldn’t reach Suzutsuki.
In the unbuttoned gap of my shirt, that white finger was sliding like a snake on my ribs. Thin fingers. With that cold feeling on my skin, my heart *dokun* jumped.
This was bad—
This feeling like all of the blood in my body was being concentrated on a single point.
My face was hot. The interior of my nose became irritated.
This is the worst…I can’t endure it anymore.
*Spluurt*
The sound of something spraying out.
My vision had gone red.
Nose bleed.
Sure enough, I had a nose bleed from being touched by Suzutsuki Kanade.
“Th—This big perv! How could you?! How could you get excited from Ojou-sama’s touch and have a nose bleed…?!”
I could hear a furious voice coming from the bed to my side.
To my front was Suzutsuki, whose body and face had been dyed red because of my blood.
“Fufu…I see. This is interesting.”
Suzutsuki, while thinking, narrowed her eyes.
“Don’t tell me, that your body has nosebleeds from being touched by girls?”
“Eh?” A question mark appeared above Konoe’s head. Maybe above my head, the two kanjis for despair were hovering there(3).
They discovered it. The secret that nobody besides my family members knew was discovered by the girls of my class…
“Maybe it is an allergy? But this is a condition that I haven’t heard of before.”
“…iiya, this isn’t an allergy. This was unnaturally acquired.”
“Hey, do you know ‘Sakamachi Akemi’?” I asked statically.
“I know her. She appeared a lot on television some time ago, right? If I’m not wrong she was a—female pro wrestler.”
That’s right. Sakamachi Akemi. The female pro wrestler who had the nickname [Senketsu no Jou](4), and she had won a lot of titles. Her name was known worldwide, which is why she had appeared so many times on TV.
And, what I was trying to hide…
“The fact is, that person is my mother.”
“This is the first time that I’ve heard of this.”
Unexpectedly, Suzutsuki was surprised.
“But how is that related to your condition?”
Konoe was staring with wondering eyes.
At first glance, it didn’t seem to be related, but it was greatly related. This was tied more tightly than the gandanium alloy.
“Err, how do I put it…? I get beaten.”
“Ha?”
Suzutsuki and Konoe opened their mouths together in response to my words.
“In my household, my mom loves to talk about fights, and it’s not just that, my sister who is one year younger than me also loves that. Since I am also a kid, living with that battle maniac family, I grew up while getting beaten every day…”
Ah, just remembering that made me feel bad.
Sandbag.
If I had to say it in one word, my position inside my own family was that of a sandbag.
Brain buster, STO, Frankenstein, Texas clover hold…etc, etc, etc. The number of times this body had been hit by their techniques was vaster than the number of stars you could count in the night sky.
“[This is to train you!] or [Love Whip!] or [I love you, Onii-chan!]… I have lived through 10 years of being beaten by my mother and my little sister while hearing that… The result was this embarrassing condition…”
Gynophobia.
If I were to explain, those words would be the fastest way. The influence of this twisted family relationship was that I became too weak to the touch of women. But also thanks to that, my body became very strong.
“But why do you have nosebleeds?”
“I don’t know it very well myself, but it could be called a habit, and, I thought that maybe if I had a nosebleed, they would stop beating me. But it eventually resulted in the worst outcome of me bleeding from simply being touched by a girl…”
“…But, this is family kindness. They wouldn’t keep beating you if you were bleeding, right?”
“…No, that’s wrong. I once heard them talking about the room becoming dirty.”
“………”
Konoe became speechless. She looked at me with eyes like she was looking at a soaked dog in the rain. It looks like she is thinking pitiful things about me. This could mean that she is a better person than I had originally believed.
“I see, so this is what’s going on.”
While sitting on my hips, Suzutsuki opened her mouth.
“You’re a chicken who can’t help but to fear a girl’s touch.”
*Gusa* I felt like a knife had pierced straight into my heart.
Uwaaa, why is this girl saying that so straightforwardly? That’s too much of a fast ball. If you don’t throw a breaking ball, my heart won’t be able to take it with its wooden bat.
“Nee, isn’t that right? Sakamachi Kinjirou-kun?”
“!?”
Now you’re calling me by my full name? Do—don’t tell me, this girl…noticed? The secret of my name that no one had noticed up until now…!
“What’s up with you? Say something. Sakamachi Kinjirou-kun.”
“…………”
“Saka-machi Kin-jirou-kun.”
“…………”
“Sakama, Chicken, Jirou-kun.”
“…………”
“Chicken-kun?”
“Uwaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!”
Not being able to handle it, I screamed out loud.
“What’s happening, Chicken-kun? There’s sports drink coming out of your eyes.”
“Stop! Don’t call me by that name!”
…I’m cursed. It can’t be anything besides that. They say that the name determines the body, and that is indeed true. Chicken… I can’t believe that such an annoying word was incorporated into my own name…
“This is a good name, isn’t it? There’s nothing to be so ashamed of.”
“How did you come to that conclusion from our talk?”
“That’s right. In the future, you should marry a person named [Okamachi]. If you do that, it will be more fun.”
“Ha?”
Okamachi Kinjirou.
Oka-machi Kin-jirou.
Okama(5), Chicken, Jirou.
“Ne? That’s fun, right?”
“That’s not fun! How can you think about such things so easily!?”
Was this girl a demon?
Devil Suzutsuki.
From now on, I will call her by this name in my mind. This was the only form of resistance I could put up against her dominance.
“That’s not very good.”
“Wha—!? You can read my heart?”
“If you are going to call me by another name, then call me [The Slaughter Angel Kanade-sama].”
“Heinous! This is becoming even more heinous than before!”
“Or even [Lyrical ☆Kana-chan].”
“A hundred and eighty degrees of difference! This definitely doesn’t fit you!”
“Then [Slaughter Angel ☆Kana-chan].”
“Don’t mix them!”
Conclusion.
Suzutsuki certainly was Suzutsuki. She managed to drain all of my energy.
“By the way, Jirou-kun.”
Suddenly, Suzutsuki’s mood changed.
“Do you want to cure your phobia?”
“Yes. If I can, I want to cure it.”
Try having a body that has a nosebleed every time you’re carelessly touched by a girl. You would be misunderstood, like what happened before with Konoe. It would be a solitary life resulting in low birth rates and longevity(6). What I really wanted… was to cure this phobia right away. I wanted to be cured and start touching girls.
“Then, should we help you?”
My ears couldn’t believe those words.
“I think that your phobia is only a sense of fear imprinted onto your body against girls. Then, as a reflex, your body reacts with a nose bleed, like a Pavlovian dog(7). But if we wipe out this sense of fear, you won’t have nosebleeds anymore, right?”
“That is…”
What’s that? I had the feeling that what Suzutsuki was saying was correct. But, how would I wipe out the sense of fear?
“I’m telling you that we are going to help.”
With a resolute attitude, Suzutsuki proclaimed.
“We will help you with the curing of your phobia. I think that the only requirement is to make you unafraid of girls. Along with Subaru, I will lend you the necessary assistance. In return…”
“In return…?”
“I want you to not tell anyone that Subaru is a girl.”
She even went so far as to add on, “Even if you have to die.”
I know what you want to say. In other words, an exchange of conditions. In exchange for me protecting Konoe’s secret until the end, even if it meant my death, they would help me heal my gynophobia.
“My father hasn’t heard yet that you discovered Subaru’s secret. If you protect Subaru’s secret, he would never realize that we’ve broken the conditions.”
“This is clearly fraud.”
“It’s okay if he doesn’t find out. So, will you make a deal with me?”
“Instead of making a deal, it’s more like we would become partners in crime.”
“Wonderful. I like it. Being partners in crime like this— quite interesting. I feel that I won’t be bored.”
“…By the way, what would happen if I broke the conditions?”
“Then I would have no other options but to take tough measures like Subaru did. In a month from now, an unidentified body would be found in the Fuji forest area.”(8)
Uwah, this girl could say fearful things in such a straightforward manner. What about the partnership? This is clearly blackmail. But…it doesn’t matter if it’s a complicity or blackmail—currently, I have no other options.
“I understand. I will follow your orders, Suzutsuki. But…is Konoe okay with that?”
I took a glance at Konoe who was off to the side. If it’s this girl who had called me a pervert, then she wouldn’t want to make a deal with me.
Though surprisingly, Konoe thought for a second with her head down, then said,
“I am Kanade Ojou-sama’s butler. I will follow her orders. Also…”
“Also…?”
“No…it’s nothing.”
For some reason, I couldn’t imagine what Konoe was going to say.
“Fufu. Then, it’s decided.”
Suzutsuki was laughing very happily. Maybe she saw something fun?
“By the way, Jirou-kun, is the only symptom of your gynophobia having a nosebleed? What happens if you are continually touched by a girl, even while you’re having a nosebleed?”
“Eh? Well…I probably will not be able to endure it and will faint due to blood loss.”
Really, how many times have I fainted while being beaten by my mother and my little sister? I don’t know what they did after that, but I woke up safely, thus I think that they didn’t do any bad things to me.
“But how is that relat—”
And.
I said all that and became speechless.
Rather, I was silenced.
Suzutsuki’s fingers were spread out on my ribs.
“Err, excuse me, Suzutsuki-san?”
“Don’t worry, Jirou-kun. This is an experiment. For future reference, I have to know how long your body can endure.”
The devil Suzutsuki was smiling in the shape of a crescent moon.
This was dangerous. This girl, is was clearly enjoying this.
“Stop that! There’s no need for you to do such a thing, hyan!”
“Ufufu. Although I only touched you a little, you gave me such a cute voice.”
That thin and long finger slid up and down my skin multiple times.
I can’t stand it. Looking from the outside, it would seem like a heavenly situation, but for me who had gynophobia, it was close to torture. My vision was about to fade. This way my sould will come out and make a trip to the other world.
“Please, save me, Konoe. If this continues, I will really faint.”
With a blurred voice, I sent an SOS with all of my might to the bed to my side.
“I am a butler, not a magician. That’s why I can’t leave this chain.”
Saying that, Subaru-sama silently closed her eyes.
“Hey! Don’t pretend to be asleep! I beg of you, don’t overlook this- hyaaaa!”
“Ara, Jirou-kun, you have a birth mark on this place. Cute. And this body trained by your family is very tight. If it’s like this, then even after you faint, I can have fun.”
*Fufu* Suzutsuki’s laughing voice was resounding loudly.
Aaah, from today onwards, will this be my normal daily life?
My consciousness was gradually fading away.
In the middle of this, I prayed to God for the safety of my chastity.
TRANSLATOR NOTES AND REFERENCES
(1) “S” stands for sadist. Its counterpart, “M”, stands for masochist.
(2) The Sanzu River, literally the “River of Three Crossings”, is similar to the Greek River Styx. It is part of Japanese Buddhist traditions.
(3) Despair is written as 絶望.
(4) The Queen of Fresh Blood.
(5) Okama [オカマ] means transvestite.
(6) This refers to Japan’s growing population of elderly people due to a declining national birth rate.
(7) He did his research on “conditioned reflexes” using his dogs.
(8) Also known as the Sea of Trees, which has a very popular name that you may have heard of before.
