Chapter 19
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After finishing his daily study and review mi jung took a look at the time. It was past three a.m. They had an interview and a phtoshoot scheduled for tomorrow.
He let out a big sigh. He had been working nonstop like a machine for the past two months that he couldn't help but feel drained. He enjoyed dancing, singing and practising but he felt like the stress was slowly creeping inside his heart. Sometimes he would miss his mother so much that he would cry a river in a second.
Even though he now had a lot of things he could never have had in his first life, he felt so lonely here.
Kids would always try to help him out with anything they could. Still mi jung acquired the habit of bottling things up and not showing it on the surface from his first life so rather then them supporting mi jung, it changed to mi jung supporting them.
He had no complaints though, he loved helping and listening them. But sometimes, when it was the darkest time of the day, heaviness and anxiety would swallow him up and he would realize how much tired he was.
Taking a deep breath and letting it out, he turned the lights off and walked to his room. When he went past the study room he heard some murmuring. He thougth all of the kids already went to sleep since they had an early schedule tomorrow but apparently he was wrong.
He cracked the door open to sneak a peek on what was going on inside. Jin young was working on their new song. He had his white headset on blabbering some lyrics and keeping up with a beat, adding piano notes.
Why was he working on a already finished song? Mi jung knew jin young finished the song a few days ago and he was very content with it as well. He even said he wanted members to record it as soon as possible. His face looked pretty tired and mi jung could almost feel the stress in the air around him. Feeling curious he wanted to ask and talk with him a little bit.
Mi jung silently made his way over to him giving a gentle tap on his shoulder. Jin young jumped from surprise because he was so concentrated he didn't sense anything. He took off his head set and turned his chair to face mi jung.
"Mi jung hyung, you couldn't sleep?"
"I was studying untill now, what are you doing this late at night? We have schedule early in the morning tomorrow."
Mi jung said softly then sat down on the couch on the left. There were a bunch of music sheets on the coffee table in front of him. No matter how modern this era was jin young liked writing on the sheets rather than using other technological equipment.
"Just doing some rearrangements on the song. Nothing worth mentioning. I didn't want to sleep in case i would forget the melody and wanted to put it down as soon as possible."
Jin young gave a little nod while talking but his eyes would look past mi jung. This reaction told mi jung more than jin young himself would've. He was hiding something.
Mi jung hummed a little and patted the space beside him on the couch. Jin young felt a little confused as to what mi jung wanted but after a few more vigorous patting he decided to just go sit beside him. Mi jung talked with a soft and soothing voice, so tender as if he was afraid of scaring a little animal.
"Jin young.. do you have anything you want to talk about?"
Jin young looked at him with a surprised face. He certainly didn't expect this kind of question. For a second he didn't know what kind of answer to give, his mouth agape. He looked like a fish.
"No.. No, there is nothing."
"I know it's not my place to say since i could only say that i know you for two months but it is obvious you love music. Every part of it. You like working on it and your eyes shine when you finish a song you feel satisfied with. It is amazing how you can create those melodies from those notes that look so different from each other."
"I just feel the notes, i guess. They just click when i hear them and sometimes i would just randomly try some arrangements. It kind of feels like a rainbow when i finish it. I can't even believe that i'm the one who put them together."
"That is how it is. But when you were working just now, you had this frown on your face and looked stressed. I get it if you don't want to talk about about it but piling it up inside will only make you suffocate. If there is something troubling you sharing the burden will certainly help. It doesn't have to be me but i want you to know that you can always talk to me or haneul anytime."
Mi jung pat jin young's back a few times as he waited for him to digest the words he told him. Jin young heaved a deep sigh. He was an intelligent young man and clearly understood everything told to him. He didn't think he was that bad at keeping things but clearly mi jung hyung was better at sensing things hidden.
He felt touched hearing him saying all those things. The man himself din't even know who he was and he should've been the most vulnerable but here he was offering an ear to listen jin young's troubles.
"I..The company wanted me to change it. Because the song didn't fit the concept of the group. I don't have time to make a new song so i have to rearrange this one. But no matter how much i try, nothing sounds good. I keep on going back to my first arrangement, the only one that feels right. I feel like im cutting up a diamond so it can fit it inside a rock. It makes me angry and frustrated to the point thoughts of giving up swirls in my head. I don't want my music turn into a melody of painand sufferings. I really don't know what to do."
To be honest mi jung didn't know anything about arrangements and composing. This problem..he had no solution to it. He frowwed his eyebrows and thought about it. Their conceprt was a dark mysterious one. A song of suffering...
A glint went past his beautiful eyes. He gave a gentle smile to jin young. Such a sensitive guy, he couldn't believe he thought of him as a serious and stoic person before. Turns out he needs to practice more on reading people.
"Do it then."
"Huh?"
"Make the melody of pain. Put all your sufferings inside. Turn this song into a tale of misery. So everyone can feel your sorrow."
Jin young was speechless. A song of misery? This hyung of his was giving him the chills, was he really such a pure and kind person like they thought?
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After finishing his daily study and review mi jung took a look at the time. It was past three a.m. They had an interview and a phtoshoot scheduled for tomorrow.
He let out a big sigh. He had been working nonstop like a machine for the past two months that he couldn't help but feel drained. He enjoyed dancing, singing and practising but he felt like the stress was slowly creeping inside his heart. Sometimes he would miss his mother so much that he would cry a river in a second.
Even though he now had a lot of things he could never have had in his first life, he felt so lonely here.
Kids would always try to help him out with anything they could. Still mi jung acquired the habit of bottling things up and not showing it on the surface from his first life so rather then them supporting mi jung, it changed to mi jung supporting them.
He had no complaints though, he loved helping and listening them. But sometimes, when it was the darkest time of the day, heaviness and anxiety would swallow him up and he would realize how much tired he was.
Taking a deep breath and letting it out, he turned the lights off and walked to his room. When he went past the study room he heard some murmuring. He thougth all of the kids already went to sleep since they had an early schedule tomorrow but apparently he was wrong.
He cracked the door open to sneak a peek on what was going on inside. Jin young was working on their new song. He had his white headset on blabbering some lyrics and keeping up with a beat, adding piano notes.
Why was he working on a already finished song? Mi jung knew jin young finished the song a few days ago and he was very content with it as well. He even said he wanted members to record it as soon as possible. His face looked pretty tired and mi jung could almost feel the stress in the air around him. Feeling curious he wanted to ask and talk with him a little bit.
Mi jung silently made his way over to him giving a gentle tap on his shoulder. Jin young jumped from surprise because he was so concentrated he didn't sense anything. He took off his head set and turned his chair to face mi jung.
"Mi jung hyung, you couldn't sleep?"
"I was studying untill now, what are you doing this late at night? We have schedule early in the morning tomorrow."
Mi jung said softly then sat down on the couch on the left. There were a bunch of music sheets on the coffee table in front of him. No matter how modern this era was jin young liked writing on the sheets rather than using other technological equipment.
"Just doing some rearrangements on the song. Nothing worth mentioning. I didn't want to sleep in case i would forget the melody and wanted to put it down as soon as possible."
Jin young gave a little nod while talking but his eyes would look past mi jung. This reaction told mi jung more than jin young himself would've. He was hiding something.
Mi jung hummed a little and patted the space beside him on the couch. Jin young felt a little confused as to what mi jung wanted but after a few more vigorous patting he decided to just go sit beside him. Mi jung talked with a soft and soothing voice, so tender as if he was afraid of scaring a little animal.
"Jin young.. do you have anything you want to talk about?"
Jin young looked at him with a surprised face. He certainly didn't expect this kind of question. For a second he didn't know what kind of answer to give, his mouth agape. He looked like a fish.
"No.. No, there is nothing."
"I know it's not my place to say since i could only say that i know you for two months but it is obvious you love music. Every part of it. You like working on it and your eyes shine when you finish a song you feel satisfied with. It is amazing how you can create those melodies from those notes that look so different from each other."
"I just feel the notes, i guess. They just click when i hear them and sometimes i would just randomly try some arrangements. It kind of feels like a rainbow when i finish it. I can't even believe that i'm the one who put them together."
"That is how it is. But when you were working just now, you had this frown on your face and looked stressed. I get it if you don't want to talk about about it but piling it up inside will only make you suffocate. If there is something troubling you sharing the burden will certainly help. It doesn't have to be me but i want you to know that you can always talk to me or haneul anytime."
Mi jung pat jin young's back a few times as he waited for him to digest the words he told him. Jin young heaved a deep sigh. He was an intelligent young man and clearly understood everything told to him. He didn't think he was that bad at keeping things but clearly mi jung hyung was better at sensing things hidden.
He felt touched hearing him saying all those things. The man himself din't even know who he was and he should've been the most vulnerable but here he was offering an ear to listen jin young's troubles.
"I..The company wanted me to change it. Because the song didn't fit the concept of the group. I don't have time to make a new song so i have to rearrange this one. But no matter how much i try, nothing sounds good. I keep on going back to my first arrangement, the only one that feels right. I feel like im cutting up a diamond so it can fit it inside a rock. It makes me angry and frustrated to the point thoughts of giving up swirls in my head. I don't want my music turn into a melody of painand sufferings. I really don't know what to do."
To be honest mi jung didn't know anything about arrangements and composing. This problem..he had no solution to it. He frowwed his eyebrows and thought about it. Their conceprt was a dark mysterious one. A song of suffering...
A glint went past his beautiful eyes. He gave a gentle smile to jin young. Such a sensitive guy, he couldn't believe he thought of him as a serious and stoic person before. Turns out he needs to practice more on reading people.
"Do it then."
"Huh?"
"Make the melody of pain. Put all your sufferings inside. Turn this song into a tale of misery. So everyone can feel your sorrow."
Jin young was speechless. A song of misery? This hyung of his was giving him the chills, was he really such a pure and kind person like they thought?
After finishing his daily study and review mi jung took a look at the time. It was past three a.m. They had an interview and a phtoshoot scheduled for tomorrow. He let out a big sigh. He had been working nonstop like a machine for the past two months that he couldn't help but feel drained. He enjoyed dancing, singing and practising but he felt like the stress was slowly creeping inside his heart. Sometimes he would miss his mother so much that he would cry a river in a second.Even though he now had a lot of things he could never have had in his first life, he felt so lonely here. Kids would always try to help him out with anything they could. Still mi jung acquired the habit of bottling things up and not showing it on the surface from his first life so rather then them supporting mi jung, it changed to mi jung supporting them. He had no complaints though, he loved helping and listening them. But sometimes, when it was the darkest time of the day, heaviness and anxiety would swallow him up and he would realize how much tired he was.Taking a deep breath and letting it out, he turned the lights off and walked to his room. When he went past the study room he heard some murmuring. He thougth all of the kids already went to sleep since they had an early schedule tomorrow but apparently he was wrong. He cracked the door open to sneak a peek on what was going on inside. Jin young was working on their new song. He had his white headset on blabbering some lyrics and keeping up with a beat, adding piano notes.Why was he working on a already finished song? Mi jung knew jin young finished the song a few days ago and he was very content with it as well. He even said he wanted members to record it as soon as possible. His face looked pretty tired and mi jung could almost feel the stress in the air around him. Feeling curious he wanted to ask and talk with him a little bit.Mi jung silently made his way over to him giving a gentle tap on his shoulder. Jin young jumped from surprise because he was so concentrated he didn't sense anything. He took off his head set and turned his chair to face mi jung."Mi jung hyung, you couldn't sleep?""I was studying untill now, what are you doing this late at night? We have schedule early in the morning tomorrow."Mi jung said softly then sat down on the couch on the left. There were a bunch of music sheets on the coffee table in front of him. No matter how modern this era was jin young liked writing on the sheets rather than using other technological equipment."Just doing some rearrangements on the song. Nothing worth mentioning. I didn't want to sleep in case i would forget the melody and wanted to put it down as soon as possible."Jin young gave a little nod while talking but his eyes would look past mi jung. This reaction told mi jung more than jin young himself would've. He was hiding something. Mi jung hummed a little and patted the space beside him on the couch. Jin young felt a little confused as to what mi jung wanted but after a few more vigorous patting he decided to just go sit beside him. Mi jung talked with a soft and soothing voice, so tender as if he was afraid of scaring a little animal."Jin young.. do you have anything you want to talk about?"Jin young looked at him with a surprised face. He certainly didn't expect this kind of question. For a second he didn't know what kind of answer to give, his mouth agape. He looked like a fish."No.. No, there is nothing.""I know it's not my place to say since i could only say that i know you for two months but it is obvious you love music. Every part of it. You like working on it and your eyes shine when you finish a song you feel satisfied with. It is amazing how you can create those melodies from those notes that look so different from each other.""I just feel the notes, i guess. They just click when i hear them and sometimes i would just randomly try some arrangements. It kind of feels like a rainbow when i finish it. I can't even believe that i'm the one who put them together.""That is how it is. But when you were working just now, you had this frown on your face and looked stressed. I get it if you don't want to talk about about it but piling it up inside will only make you suffocate. If there is something troubling you sharing the burden will certainly help. It doesn't have to be me but i want you to know that you can always talk to me or haneul anytime."Mi jung pat jin young's back a few times as he waited for him to digest the words he told him. Jin young heaved a deep sigh. He was an intelligent young man and clearly understood everything told to him. He didn't think he was that bad at keeping things but clearly mi jung hyung was better at sensing things hidden. He felt touched hearing him saying all those things. The man himself din't even know who he was and he should've been the most vulnerable but here he was offering an ear to listen jin young's troubles."I..The company wanted me to change it. Because the song didn't fit the concept of the group. I don't have time to make a new song so i have to rearrange this one. But no matter how much i try, nothing sounds good. I keep on going back to my first arrangement, the only one that feels right. I feel like im cutting up a diamond so it can fit it inside a rock. It makes me angry and frustrated to the point thoughts of giving up swirls in my head. I don't want my music turn into a melody of painand sufferings. I really don't know what to do."To be honest mi jung didn't know anything about arrangements and composing. This problem..he had no solution to it. He frowwed his eyebrows and thought about it. Their conceprt was a dark mysterious one. A song of suffering...A glint went past his beautiful eyes. He gave a gentle smile to jin young. Such a sensitive guy, he couldn't believe he thought of him as a serious and stoic person before. Turns out he needs to practice more on reading people."Do it then.""Huh?""Make the melody of pain. Put all your sufferings inside. Turn this song into a tale of misery. So everyone can feel your sorrow."Jin young was speechless. A song of misery? This hyung of his was giving him the chills, was he really such a pure and kind person like they thought?
