“Mm,” responded Xiang Wan softly as she leaned weakly against his shoulder.
Ever since Ye Lun collapsed, she had not been herself. Initially, she had felt numb. After she recollected her senses, she was terrified and lost. Bai Muchuan had detected that but he didn’t raise that up as this was something that words of consolation wouldn’t be able to help. She had to digest this herself. No matter how much he said, she still needs to get out of it herself.
“Do you want to know what it was like when I killed someone for the first time?”
Xiang Wan was taken aback and lifted her head. “You’ve killed someone before?”
Bai Muchuan chuckled and ran his fingers through her hair. “You silly thing! What do you think?”
Xiang Wan pursed her lips together as she scrutinized him in doubt.
Killing was different from any other behavior.
She read about killing in novels, killing in movies, she even saw people dying before her… All these were different from her personally killing someone. The shock and fear was similar to having a sudden cardiac arrest… And the countless replaying of the scene at that moment like a cycle of nightmares. It kept repeating by itself over and over again. She was unable to get it out of her head.
“Am I useless?” Xiang Wan looked at him, her gaze distracted. “I thought I was strong enough to deal with any unexpected situation. But at that moment, I was really scared. My brain is rejecting… rejecting believing this…”
“Silly!” Bai Muchuan stroked her face and coughed twice. “In ancient times, even the executioner needed to drink liquor to boost their guts before they behead someone. Xiang Wan, you’re already brave enough. Your bravery totally exceeded my understanding of you. I’m really… Yeah, I’m really proud of you.”
“…” Xiang Wan looked at him.
“Didn’t you hear that just now? All of them were singing your praises; fearless in the face of danger; sober and decisive; heroine… Even Laowu, who’s such a proud guy, couldn’t stop saying that you’re courageous, let alone me.”
Xiang Wan was too focused in her emotions to hear any of their praises.
Earlier on, all she could hear were buzzing and humming sounds.
She knew that a lot of people were talking but not a word managed to make it to her ear.
Bai Muchuan tightened his embrace. “Be good. Don’t be afraid. It’ll be over.”
“Mm…”
Xiang Wan nodded her head.
“… If I didn’t see his eyes, maybe I wouldn’t be so scared.” When she said this, she could still feel her heart pounding at her ears. “He was looking at me. He kept looking at me. I was looking at him as well until he collapsed… his eyes… They are too terrifying. They’re engraved in my mind and they keep appearing, as if looking at me…”
“This is normal. It’s a normal reaction. Believe me, it will be over soon.” Bai Muchuan patted her back as he comforted her. “People tend to remember bloody incidents deeply… Little Xiang Wan, you need some time to forget.”
“Do you think, will I always remember him..? ” Xiang Wan looked up. “Bai Muchuan, I hope that he survives.”
She couldn’t forget that pair of eyes.
That gaze of his was even more difficult to wipe it out from her head.
If Ye Lun died, this episode might become her nightmare all her life.
If Ye Lun survived, even though he would most likely receive a death sentence, it was none of her business.
And hence, the emotional burden on her wouldn’t be as heavy.
However, even Cheng Zheng wasn’t sure if Ye Lun could survive or not.
Will he die? Nobody was able to answer that.
When the boats were close to the jetty, a large number of police officers and paramedics had gathered on the shore. The moment they arrived at the jetty, the paramedics carried a stretcher and brought Ye Lun down where they quickly carried him into the ambulance.
The ambulance quickly zoomed into the distance with the siren turned on.
Cheng Zheng also got on the ambulance with Ye Lun to the nearest hospital.
At the seaside, the winds became stronger.
The sky was pitch dark.
The light on the boat flickered while numerous flashlights moved in the dark.
Xiang Wan watched the busy scene on the bank. She suddenly shuddered and Bai Muchuan quickly grasped her hand and held it tightly.
“I’m here with you. Don’t be afraid!”
“… Thank you, Your Excellency.”
“Good.”
Xiang Wan smiled at him.
She tried her best to make herself strong, just like those strong female protagonists depicted in novels, that she would not frown even if she killed someone. She had tried her best and she couldn’t. When she wanted to get off the boat, it was even difficult for her to walk.
Her condition now was worse than before.
At that time, she was also worried about the bomb on her. Therefore, she couldn’t relax and her mind was a mess. Now that she could finally relax, her whole body felt drained of all energy and her legs were trembling uncontrollably.
Xiang Wan despised herself for being so weak but she was unable to control her physiological reaction toward the incident.
“Bai Muchuan.”
She gasped and bit her lower lip lightly.
Bai Muchuan replied, “I’ll carry you on my back.”
He didn’t ask as he understood her condition.
“Come!”
He squatted before her. “I’ll carry you down.”
Xiang Wan was startled, looking at Salimu and another two Operation Team members who were walking past. “Well, is this really appropriate? There are many people on the shore… I can walk by myself but I’m kinda cold and my legs are stiff. Can you slow down a little to wait for me?”
Bai Muchuan looked at her.
Her pale face was white as a piece of paper.
“You’re not feeling cold.”
After experiencing a fearful incident, people might shiver, tremble and feel cold.
But that was just a sign of fear.
Bai Muchuan didn’t say that. He lowered himself and patted his shoulder. “Come on!”
However, she found it embarrassing to let him carry her on his back with so many people looking.
Hence, she didn’t want him to carry her at all. She gave a pat on his shoulder. “Don’t look down on me. I can walk by myself! Look…”
With that, she tried to walk but in less than three steps, as her legs were numb, she couldn’t control them at all and was about to fall down. Bai Muchuan quickly held her up. “Hurry up, don’t dilly dally! You’re my wife. Nobody would say anything about me carrying you down as you’re hurt.”
“…”
Xiang Wan mumbled softly, “The problem is… I’m not hurt!”
“You silly, don’t you know that emotional wounds are more serious than physical ones?”
“…”
Xiang Wan found herself unable to refute that.
This was because he was right.
Everyone could see that she seemed fine as she didn’t sustain any physical injuries. However, she was stressed out and worn out from all these days of rushing and hiding from the police with Ye Lun. Furthermore, her firing at Ye Lun had greatly affected her emotionally. Now that she was being rescued, she found herself at the verge of collapsing—
“All right then!”
Xiang Wan climbed slowly onto his back where she felt more rest assured and safe.
“I’ve been sleeping through almost the whole journey while Ye Lun was on the run. I feel that Ye Lun must have drugged my water… Also, I’ve been feeling stressed and tense throughout this period… But when I see you, I could finally relax, yet at the same time, I found myself all weak and couldn’t walk…”
If you find any errors ( broken links, non-standard content, etc.. ), Please let us know so we can fix it as soon as possible.
“Mm,” responded Xiang Wan softly as she leaned weakly against his shoulder.
Ever since Ye Lun collapsed, she had not been herself. Initially, she had felt numb. After she recollected her senses, she was terrified and lost. Bai Muchuan had detected that but he didn’t raise that up as this was something that words of consolation wouldn’t be able to help. She had to digest this herself. No matter how much he said, she still needs to get out of it herself.
“Do you want to know what it was like when I killed someone for the first time?”
Xiang Wan was taken aback and lifted her head. “You’ve killed someone before?”
Bai Muchuan chuckled and ran his fingers through her hair. “You silly thing! What do you think?”
Xiang Wan pursed her lips together as she scrutinized him in doubt.
Killing was different from any other behavior.
She read about killing in novels, killing in movies, she even saw people dying before her… All these were different from her personally killing someone. The shock and fear was similar to having a sudden cardiac arrest… And the countless replaying of the scene at that moment like a cycle of nightmares. It kept repeating by itself over and over again. She was unable to get it out of her head.
“Am I useless?” Xiang Wan looked at him, her gaze distracted. “I thought I was strong enough to deal with any unexpected situation. But at that moment, I was really scared. My brain is rejecting… rejecting believing this…”
“Silly!” Bai Muchuan stroked her face and coughed twice. “In ancient times, even the executioner needed to drink liquor to boost their guts before they behead someone. Xiang Wan, you’re already brave enough. Your bravery totally exceeded my understanding of you. I’m really… Yeah, I’m really proud of you.”
“…” Xiang Wan looked at him.
“Didn’t you hear that just now? All of them were singing your praises; fearless in the face of danger; sober and decisive; heroine… Even Laowu, who’s such a proud guy, couldn’t stop saying that you’re courageous, let alone me.”
Xiang Wan was too focused in her emotions to hear any of their praises.
Earlier on, all she could hear were buzzing and humming sounds.
She knew that a lot of people were talking but not a word managed to make it to her ear.
Bai Muchuan tightened his embrace. “Be good. Don’t be afraid. It’ll be over.”
“Mm…”
Xiang Wan nodded her head.
“… If I didn’t see his eyes, maybe I wouldn’t be so scared.” When she said this, she could still feel her heart pounding at her ears. “He was looking at me. He kept looking at me. I was looking at him as well until he collapsed… his eyes… They are too terrifying. They’re engraved in my mind and they keep appearing, as if looking at me…”
“This is normal. It’s a normal reaction. Believe me, it will be over soon.” Bai Muchuan patted her back as he comforted her. “People tend to remember bloody incidents deeply… Little Xiang Wan, you need some time to forget.”
“Do you think, will I always remember him..? ” Xiang Wan looked up. “Bai Muchuan, I hope that he survives.”
She couldn’t forget that pair of eyes.
That gaze of his was even more difficult to wipe it out from her head.
If Ye Lun died, this episode might become her nightmare all her life.
If Ye Lun survived, even though he would most likely receive a death sentence, it was none of her business.
And hence, the emotional burden on her wouldn’t be as heavy.
However, even Cheng Zheng wasn’t sure if Ye Lun could survive or not.
Will he die? Nobody was able to answer that.
When the boats were close to the jetty, a large number of police officers and paramedics had gathered on the shore. The moment they arrived at the jetty, the paramedics carried a stretcher and brought Ye Lun down where they quickly carried him into the ambulance.
The ambulance quickly zoomed into the distance with the siren turned on.
Cheng Zheng also got on the ambulance with Ye Lun to the nearest hospital.
At the seaside, the winds became stronger.
The sky was pitch dark.
The light on the boat flickered while numerous flashlights moved in the dark.
Xiang Wan watched the busy scene on the bank. She suddenly shuddered and Bai Muchuan quickly grasped her hand and held it tightly.
“I’m here with you. Don’t be afraid!”
“… Thank you, Your Excellency.”
“Good.”
Xiang Wan smiled at him.
She tried her best to make herself strong, just like those strong female protagonists depicted in novels, that she would not frown even if she killed someone. She had tried her best and she couldn’t. When she wanted to get off the boat, it was even difficult for her to walk.
Her condition now was worse than before.
At that time, she was also worried about the bomb on her. Therefore, she couldn’t relax and her mind was a mess. Now that she could finally relax, her whole body felt drained of all energy and her legs were trembling uncontrollably.
Xiang Wan despised herself for being so weak but she was unable to control her physiological reaction toward the incident.
“Bai Muchuan.”
She gasped and bit her lower lip lightly.
Bai Muchuan replied, “I’ll carry you on my back.”
He didn’t ask as he understood her condition.
“Come!”
He squatted before her. “I’ll carry you down.”
Xiang Wan was startled, looking at Salimu and another two Operation Team members who were walking past. “Well, is this really appropriate? There are many people on the shore… I can walk by myself but I’m kinda cold and my legs are stiff. Can you slow down a little to wait for me?”
Bai Muchuan looked at her.
Her pale face was white as a piece of paper.
“You’re not feeling cold.”
After experiencing a fearful incident, people might shiver, tremble and feel cold.
But that was just a sign of fear.
Bai Muchuan didn’t say that. He lowered himself and patted his shoulder. “Come on!”
However, she found it embarrassing to let him carry her on his back with so many people looking.
Hence, she didn’t want him to carry her at all. She gave a pat on his shoulder. “Don’t look down on me. I can walk by myself! Look…”
With that, she tried to walk but in less than three steps, as her legs were numb, she couldn’t control them at all and was about to fall down. Bai Muchuan quickly held her up. “Hurry up, don’t dilly dally! You’re my wife. Nobody would say anything about me carrying you down as you’re hurt.”
“…”
Xiang Wan mumbled softly, “The problem is… I’m not hurt!”
“You silly, don’t you know that emotional wounds are more serious than physical ones?”
“…”
Xiang Wan found herself unable to refute that.
This was because he was right.
Everyone could see that she seemed fine as she didn’t sustain any physical injuries. However, she was stressed out and worn out from all these days of rushing and hiding from the police with Ye Lun. Furthermore, her firing at Ye Lun had greatly affected her emotionally. Now that she was being rescued, she found herself at the verge of collapsing—
“All right then!”
Xiang Wan climbed slowly onto his back where she felt more rest assured and safe.
“I’ve been sleeping through almost the whole journey while Ye Lun was on the run. I feel that Ye Lun must have drugged my water… Also, I’ve been feeling stressed and tense throughout this period… But when I see you, I could finally relax, yet at the same time, I found myself all weak and couldn’t walk…”
If you find any errors ( broken links, non-standard content, etc.. ), Please let us know so we can fix it as soon as possible.
