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Published at 25th of March 2016 09:40:04 AM


Chapter 7

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Mayhem•White

November has entered its last week.

Ever since then, an unexplainable distance separated me and Chiwa. Even if we meet during club activities, we rarely talk to each other, and Chiwa doesn't initiate conversations.

I don’t know what to say to her.

This has never happened in the nine years.

“Are you fighting with Harusaki-san?”

After school, Masuzu walked over to my seat.

“We are not fighting or anything.”

“You’re lying, aren’t you guys quite strain in front of each other recently? It’s obvious.”

“……okay, I won’t deny that.”

“Ahhh, how can that be!”

Masuzu placed her finger on her frowned forehead and sighed.

“If that’s the case, why did we even break u—mmghaaghaa!?”

I instantly muffled her mouth with my hand.

“Don’t say it out loud here! What happens if other people overhear us!”

Masuzu stared at me red-faced.

“Wha—what, are you still in love with me?”

“Stop spouting nonsense.”

“Then, it doesn’t matter if I say it, isn’t that so?”

Masuzu’s brain is really sharp, she probably failed to notice it.

“That’s why, we don’t need to announce it so loudly, right? As long as nobody realizes it, it can still act as a groin for a while.”

I tried a roundabout explanation which won’t matter if someone overhears us, seems like she finally understood.

“……ahhh, that’s what you mean.”

For some reason Masuzu looked disappointed.

However, she instantly reverted to a sharp stare.

“Compared to that, how about you take care of your own business first? Christmas is coming.”

Looks like Masuzu is still very fixated on the whole Christmas thing, she seems more lovestrucked than the lovestruck brains.

“Alright, let’s go apologize and kneel in front of Harusaki-san. Tell her ‘it’s my fault, if you dump me I can’t live anymore, no matter if it’s the front or back of the shoes I will lick it, please make up with me right now.’.”

“No matter how you see it this is too lowly…….”

“This much[1] is definitely needed, someone like you, so useless, scarred, traumatized, forever a virgin and an asshole, if you get dumped by Harusaki-san it’s over for you.”

“Why must I be humiliated to such a state!? Huh huh?”

Masuzu looked surprised.

“Didn’t you say this yourself?”

“When did I say this?”

“An afternoon during the summer holidays, in the open air café.”

“…….”

I remember now.

Is it from when she read the “Hurricane ‘Me’” from my Chuuni notebook……I almost forgot about that.

“Alright, the forever virgin and asshole part is what I added myself.”

“That’s the most hurtful part!”

Masuzu-san’s venomous tongue is still the same as before.

“Anyway, I don’t need your help, you don’t need to butt in me and Chiwa’s business.”

“No, I want to help matchmake you no matter what.”

“I told you that is just nosy of you!”

Suddenly, the entire classroom went silent.

I thought it was due to my roar, but when I looked around, everyone was looking at the classroom entrance.

It’s the disciplinary committee—

Five girls wearing the familiar armband approached us, and it’s not a peaceful atmosphere. Our classmates made a path for them hurriedly.

“Kidou, can we borrow a bit of your time?”

The ponytail third year who lectured me before stepped forward.

“I have club activities later…….”

“Just shut up and come.”

Seemingly to block my retreat path, the other disciplinary committee members surrounded me.

What a rare sight.

I have totally no clue towards what is happening. I have not broken the rules, and ever since the second semester, “Jien-otsu’s” activity has become more stable. At any rate, the problematic one should be the one beside me.

“If you want to take Eita-kun away, you will have to defeat me first.”

The problematic child butted in. My ex-girlfriend look too much like the battle-type main character.

“This has nothing to do with Natsukawa-san, please do not butt in.”

“As the president of the ‘Society of maidens’, there’s no way I will let my underling get kidnap and do nothing.”

Sparks started flying between the two of them.

A fight might break out if this goes on, the atmosphere sure is tense.

“I understand, let’s go.”

To calm them down, I can only do as told.

“Never mind me, go on to the clubroom first.”

I said that to the troubled Masuzu, and was taken away by the seniors.

Now, what will be waiting for me?

 


I was taken outside of the school building.

Initially, I thought I would be kept in the disciplinary committee room, so I was a bit upset, but now I feel scared since I can’t tell what they want from me.

“That—why are we outside?”

“Whatever, just come and you’ll know.”

The ponytail-senpai, who was leading the way, answered without turning, the other four also remained silent.

After exiting the entrance of the school building, we walked around the school building and continued walking. Are we heading to the second gym building? Or is it the garden behind the school?

I looked at the ground for a second, and found something really strange.

White cotton seemed to be littered on the pavement.

Mixed with fallen leaves, the cotton used to fill cheap futon[2] with were spread across the ground. It’s hard to associate school and futon, the only possibility I can think of is the night duty room, was it torn while drying?

Ponytail-senpai started talking while she continued walking.

“Looks like it’s a white Christmas huh.”

“Huh?”

“White—, Chri—st—mas—“

“……”

Repeating it slowly doesn’t help with my confusion.

Today isn’t Christmas, and it isn’t snowing.

But ponytail-senpai looked serious. Is this a riddle? Does it have anything to do with me getting summoned?

Before I can reply, we reached the garden.

“What is going on……”

The garden was covered with cotton.

So that’s what was going on, it isn’t too farfetched to say it looked like snow, but this is really overdoing it. The first scene I think of is “a little child tearing apart a futon as a prank, litter the cotton everywhere and running away afterwards.”

Next to the cotton covered garden was an old wooden bench.

The red paint had already worn off, the Coke organization logo was too worn out to recognize, it’s the type of bench commonly placed in front of a cheap candy shop[3]. Of course, this shouldn’t appear in a garden, so where is it from……

Next, the one sitting on the bench is—

“Takkun, thank you for coming.”

Fuyuumi Ai smiled at me.

She patted the seat beside her, seemingly telling me, “Please take a seat”.

“Then, please take your time, both of you.”

Right after ponytail-senpai and the upperclassmen finished the sentence, they left like the wind.

“What is this? What are you trying to pull off?”

Fuyuumi brushed her hair up with a “heh”.

“Everything in this world are supporters of our love huh.”

“What is this, how scary.”

Since I can’t keep standing, I sat down, and Fuyuumi instantly leaned towards me.

I escaped.

She leaned over again.

I escaped.

She leaned over again.

I was already sitting at the end of the bench, and as I approached the cliff, I found a new trap.

“Ch-christmas tree!?”

One of the trees surrounding the school building was beautifully decorated. Gold and silver ribbons, Santa Claus and reindeers crafted from paper, and there were cotton on it too.

“Wow, how beautiful.”

Fuyuumi looked at the Christmas tree, but she still sounded like she was reading from a script.

“Before we talk about whether it is beautiful or messy, isn’t this weird no matter how you see it……”

“What are you talking about, the station should start decorating by next week, no?”

Although that’s the case, but this is not a reason to decorate a tree behind the school building.

While we continued our intense battle, a male and female walking towards the Christmas tree entered my field of vision. They were holding hands and leaning on each other.

“What a couple, I am envious.”

A-chan with her script reading again.

After taking a good look, I realized the female was a disciplinary committee member I met before.

That male looks familiar too.

That clear big eyes—

That beautifully curved eyebrows—

And most importantly, on the fringe, “Ding!” stood a strand of idiot hair[4].

“Senpai!? What are you doing!?”

Disciplinary committee president Ishige Matsuri was wearing cross-dressing as a male.

She wore the male uniform, and tied her hair behind. She was pretty good looking originally, and this getup suits her quite well too, but I can’t see her as a male no matter what.

Ishige-senpai looked at the Christmas tree.

“Fufufufu. It’s a white Christmas, huh—?[5]

A script reading that doesn’t lose to Fuyuumi, and her sentence even changed tone at the end.

“To be together, with senpai, looking at such a beautiful Christmas tree, I’m happy.”

The girl playing the role of the underclassmen was a bit too forceful with her acting.

Fuyuumi nudged my side.

“How wonderful, the two of them.”

“Ehh—?”

“To be able to cuddle and look at the Christmas tree together, it must be wonderful.”

“Ehhhh—?”

Seems like Fuyuumi was seeing a scene totally different from mine.

Putting this aside first, I somewhat understand what is going on.

The disciplinary committee was trying to “create an atmosphere” for us. The plan was, however, too bad, I only noticed it now.

As I was thinking about how to escape, a bunch of people came up.

There was a dozen of people, all of them were wearing a white costume like the people in charge of school lunch duty. Almost all of them were girls from the disciplinary committee.

The instant they surrounded us, they leaned on each other’s shoulder and began singing.

A familiar song during the Christmas season—“Joy to the World”.

“It’s the choir of angels.”

Fuyuumi looked entranced, but I can’t see anything but aliens.

The sight before me made me doubt my eyes—no, my ears. Even Mogami Yura joined the choir. There are sounds of “Hanihaniho—” among them, so I can tell is is her right away. As long as she can sing, she doesn’t care about anything else?”

“Jingle bells—Jingle bell—Jingle all the way—”

As if it was a final blow, a white bearded old man in a red costume appeared. When it comes to Christmas, it’s him. It’s like seeing the final boss appear.

Inside the red costume was ponytail-senpai. She really is showing her capabilities today!

“Come, make your wish. No matter what the wish is, I can make one come true for you.”

And her powers seems to be strong too. Isn’t this way too simple, I didn’t even collect anything.[6]

Fuyuumi made a really happy “Yaahhh—” shout, and shook my shoulders.

“What do we do Takkun! What kind of Christmas present do you want?”

“I want to escape this immediately.”

“A honeymoon overseas? How about a trip to somewhere like Hawaii?”

“How luxurious I would take it if you give me that removing the word honeymoon that is!”

“Hanihani—yay! Honihanihoooo—mmyay!”

“It’s about time you shut up Mogamiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii!”

Just at this time.

“Dora—! Dorara—!”

The person that appeared out of nowhere, hitting the Christmas tree, was Masuzu, the 'Gem of the Natsukawa Family’Crazy Diamond.

The branches shook violently, ribbons, papercrafts and cotton all fell to the ground.

“Wh—what are you doing!? We spent a lot of time to decorate this!”

Masuzu looked at the crossdressing idiot hair-senpai who deepened her voice, and replied solemnly.


“This year’s Christmas ends here.”


The singing stopped.

The choir, fake idiot couple and Fuyuumi all stared at Masuzu with a “what do you mean?” face. Only Mogami looked as if she didn’t sing enough and pouted like a blowfish.

“This year’s Christmas ends here.”

Masuzu repeated herself.

“Due to our country’s security issues still remaining an impending issue, Santa Claus’ usual route can’t be secured, that’s the notice from America.

Although it was Masuzu’s bullshit explanation that lacks originality, but—

“Ugugugu, if it’s for the alliance that there is no other way.”

It seemed to be quite effective against idiot hair-senpai. She was unexpectedly pro-America.

Fuyuumi stood up from the bench.

“Can you not meddle with us! After the atmosphere started to warm up.”

“Look at who’s talking, ignoring the fact that you are a member of the “Society of Maidens”, trying to claim Eita-kun for yourself with numbers, don’t you feel ashamed of yourself?”

“Totally not! Love is not just beautiful words without meaning!”

“But the fastest one isn’t always the winner too.”

Masuzu squinted.

“Isn’t this enough, can you stop clinging on to Eita-kun? You don’t stand a chance anyway.”

“…….what do you mean?”

Fuyuumi’s voice lowered by a tone.<!—Unsure if tone or octave, please check. -->

“If you can’t understand why I stepped out, it means your love quotient is low. Love master-san.”

“You want me to give way to Chiwa? You, as an ex-girlfriend, dare to say such a thing?”

“Hanihanihoo…”

The one who murmured that wasn’t Mogami, but idiot hair-senpai. Was she overcome by the mayhem? She was trembling nonstop behind the Christmas tree, even the idiot hair switched to vibrate mode.

Masuzu eyes remained on Fuyuumi.

“I, kissed Eita-kun once.”

“I-I know that.”

“We already reached this point, but I still didn’t realize that there is a bond between him and Harusaki-san that can’t be broken. So, when I see you now, it irritates me. It’s like seeing my old self.”

“Don’t talk as if I am the same as you, my bond with Takkun can’t be understood by others.”

Two of them fell into silence, staring at each other.

“Looks like I can’t sing anymore, I am going back.”

The first one to break this silence, was Mogami, being oblivious to the atmosphere.

As Mogami left, the disciplinary committee took the chance at left after her.

In the end, the only people left are the members of “Jien-otsu”.

“Hey, can I go back too?”

“No.”

“Nope.”

They continued to stare at each other, voices overlapping perfectly.[7]

Did anyone actually benefited from this fight?

“Pachi Lemon” December Edition•Merry Christmas Special

A must do even during Christmas night ♥ Popucute test!

Penname “Ai-chan Epic Victory”-san’s Answers

Q1: What is the true form of Santa?

A1: Santa is real! I am Santa!

Q2: White Christmas! How would you have fun in the snow with him?

A2: Falling from the two-person cable car on the way to skiing and warm each other up ♥

Q3: What do you want to give him as a present?

A3: Hand-knitted sweater! Every stitch is filled with my love ♥

Q4: What do you wish to get from him?

A4: A pure white planner diary. I want to fill it with plans with him♪

Q5: What is Christmas to you truthfully?

A5: Love falls[8] heavily, the couples receive blessing, ahhh, and before long, ahhhnn♪

Your Christmas is: way too exciting!

Pachi Lemon Editorial Board: That’s great! Fall in love! Head towards your dream!

 

Translator notes and references

Jump up↑ By “this much” she is saying that it isn’t too much to ask. Jump up↑ Using the word mattress causes confusion, so futon was retained. Jump up↑ 駄菓子屋, shops selling dirt cheap candies, rarely seen in towns anymore, but still fairly common in the rural areas of Japan. Jump up↑ Ahoge. Jump up↑ She said “ホワイトクリスマスですわ、だな”. “だな” makes it sound like a question, but “ですわ” makes it originally a statement. Jump up↑ Yeah, dragon balls. Jump up↑ It says perfectly, but their lines weren’t exactly the same. The first line was “駄目です”, the second one being “駄目よ”. Jump up↑ Fall as in rainfall.




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