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Picked Up In Winter - Chapter 23

Published at 18th of February 2019 06:43:53 AM

Chapter 23

Picked Up In Winter <23>


Next day .

As soon as my consciousness returned, I opened my eyes . For a while, I could hardly move . Lying in bed, I slowly recalled yesterday’s events . The dark gleam filled in Jun Hyung’s eyes, his stare, and after that ……

Hwak─ .

My face flushed . The moment I recalled the following act, I couldn’t think for a while .

I shook my head hard and sat up on the bed . It was quite bright and nobody was in the room . After coming to this house, it had become a habit to sleep in, so it was probably late in the morning . The surprisingly diligent Jun Hyung must be sitting in the living room and watching TV with his characteristically expressionless face while I stood still, lost in thoughts . Even if no one saw me, I still felt like I had committed a great crime . I was frozen .

Usually, after I wake up, I go to the living room like a habit . The already awake Jun Hyung would welcome me with a smile on his face as if he had been waiting for me . Min Hyung who would be lying down on the floor would also get up to greet me . And although they’re not always there, Dae Hyung and Seon Hyung-nuna also welcome me when they are there . Seon Hyung-nuna would sweetly ask, ‘Did you sleep well?’ while Dae Hyung would simply look at me without saying anything, but I liked his casual manner because I knew it was his own way of greeting me .

However…… .

Today, I was afraid of receiving such morning greetings . And above all, I didn’t have the courage to face Jun Hyung .

I slowly leaned against the wall and let out a sigh . I couldn’t muster the nerve to leave the room . The more I tried to reason yesterday’s events, the more complicated my thoughts became .

What the hell was he thinking?

During the vacation, I stayed with Jun Hyung for almost every minute . He refused to meet all his friends and didn’t go out . And since I hadn’t any reason to go out, I also stayed at home . Though due to Min Hyung’s presence it has never been just the two of us, I still lived in the same space with Jun Hyung .

However, by living with him, I realized one thing .

─I really had no idea what he truly thought .

Even if Jun Hyung sits next to me, even if I was always with him, he was a guy whose mind I couldn’t figure out . Well, when even his own family doesn’t seem to have an accurate understanding of him, it may be a bit too much for me to know about him…… Even so, I felt frustrated . I felt unbearable anxiety due to his mysterious character .

As a guy who treats me as a ‘pet’, why would he do something like that? Why would he look at me with such eyes?

When I think about it, of course, there were also wishful thoughts . Like… Maybe he’s also thinking of me in that way .

But, I wasn’t brave enough to ask . After asking such a thing, it was hard to imagine what kind of answer would Jun Hyung give me .

Right at that time, the doors opened with a creak─sound . I stared in surprise . It was Jun Hyung who opened the door and stepped inside .

 

“…… . ”

 

It seemed like my all my blood went into my face recalling last night’s incident, but I faced him as calmly as I could . Upon entering, he immediately swept his eyes over to find me and smiled when he did .

 

“Happy, you woke up!”

“…… . ”

“Why aren’t you going out? Did you just wake up?”

 

…… His behaviour hadn’t changed at all .

I thought that slowly in my head and nodded .  My feelings were still in chaos since he wasn’t acting any differently, I can’t be the only one to act in a different manner .  I got out of bed and tried to walk past him to go outside . He suddenly grabbed me by the shoulder hurriedly .

 

“……?”

 


I looked away in embarrassment . What, why suddenly……?

 

“Happy . ”

 

He spoke in an awkward voice .

 

“Clothes, you’d better change before going out . ”

“……?”

 

Why……?

I was puzzled . Why should I change my clothes out of nowhere? Was there something on my clothes? I wondered as I looked down at the new clothes I was wearing, but they were clean .

 

“…… . ”

 

I didn’t get it, but I went to the closet first to change my clothes like he said . Just when I was taking out the clothes, he suddenly came and pulled out a thick sweater with a turtleneck .

 

“Put this on . ” He blurted

“…… . ”

 

Was it cold… I thought absentmindedly . Suddenly I remembered his actions from last night .

 

“Ah…… . ”

 

And I found out why he asked me to change .

 

“…… . ”

 

I was greatly flustered .  Hmm, it was too embarrassing to accept it indifferently .   I awkwardly took the clothes he handed me . When I grabbed the bottom of the T-shirt to take it off, I couldn’t help but falter . Jun Hyung was looking over here .

 

“…… . ”

 

Somehow, I felt so embarrassed . The weight of my clothes seemed to increase by a thousand times .  I slowly lifted the hem of the shirt awkwardly . My hands weren’t moving with ease . While I slowly took off my top, he was looking at me without saying anything .


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“Hm . ”

 

Suddenly, he made a small noise, surprising me . Looking sideways, Jun Hyung patted his mouth a few times with his fingers . He sighed a little then left . Thanks to that, I had no choice but to pause while taking off my clothes .

Wha-What…… Why did he suddenly sigh…… .

After standing there in a daze, I suddenly came to my senses with a ‘phat’ . Quickly taking off my top, I stood in front of the mirror in Jun Hyung’s room .

 

“…… . ”

 

On the base of my neck, there was an embarrassing big red mark .

I held my breath and examined it .

Of course, apart from my neck, there were many other small and big marks in different places, but the one on my neck was especially noticeable . I raised my hand and touched the mark .

That mark was exceptionally red…… Showing intense self-restraint, as if they were representing an unknown part of his inner thoughts……

My heart was beating oddly .

 

 

 

 

 

Daily life had once again become calm . Nothing much had changed between me and Jun Hyung after that incident, and we spent our time sitting around in the living room watching TV, as ever . There was still a little conversation, nothing had changed at all .

Ah… . No .

One thing was different . It’s that he didn’t call me to his bed anymore . Of course, it might be that he slept well .  It might be that he just isn’t calling me without giving it much thought . However, now he doesn’t look at me with those eyes full of desire . The red marks on my neck had also faded away, fully disappearing .

It felt strange somewhat . Should I say I was disappointed…… . I don’t know what I was expecting, but the very peaceful life seemed to be draining .

He treated me the same as before . So as to say- treating me like a pet .

In a tender voice, he called me ‘Happy…’ and pet my head, sometimes he watched me with endearing eyes . At first, I was attracted to that affection but now it was heartbreaking to see .

What do I want? What do I expect from him?  

I silently asked myself . It wasn’t that difficult to arrive at a conclusion .  To show the same emotions as me but not as the pet called ‘Happy’ .  That was what I wanted .

Well, looks like it was time to go back .

I closed my eyes and quietly thought .

 

 

 

 


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I had arrived in this house because I wanted to escape reality . (just for curiosity sake, why is it “arrive in”? Is it just another way to say “arrive at”?) But when I realized my feelings for Jun Hyung, and after hearing about his past, everything went downhill . I wanted, to stand by his side, to be happy next to him .  Never helping out, I didn’t even have money, yet I had such arrogant thoughts .

I particularly thought that . I also wondered about the shock he would receive, so I wanted to stay by his side for as long as possible . The confusion he would feel when he realizes that I wasn’t ‘Happy’ but an ordinary person hence I should just stay as Happy by his side .

But…… But not anymore . I can’t grant him that now . I can’t conceal it .

From the beginning, I was a selfish person . When it got too difficult to endure and reason, I ran out to the unknown as I pleased, even leaving my mother .  It was nothing unexpected .

I love him . And so, I can’t stay by his side . I thought that since I liked him, I wanted to lend him some strength, but now I’m struggling and can’t . The more I stayed with him, the more I desired . I longed for him to see the ‘me’, and not Happy . After such feelings started to form, whenever he called me ‘Happy’, it pained me . I was becoming less confident in being able to endure it .

Since way before, I was a coward . It was my speciality to run away from things I hated and couldn’t bear . It had always been like that .

─But till when…?

The thought about getting the opportunity to return, it was a vague thought . If I can’t stand it, I just run away without hesitation . I still can bear it . It’s just that my limit was gradually approaching . I can still endure . Him, calling me ‘Happy’, in that affectionate voice, and the endearing way he looked at me, I still liked it .

Even if it was just as hard to endure .

 

 

 

 

When I woke up, I could feel that the humidity was quite high .  The blanket was damp and there was tranquillity in the air . Was it raining…… . While thinking blankly about the humidity in the air I had ended up in the living room . No one was sitting on the sofa .

 

“…… . ”

 

I titled my head and stood for a while, then sat down on the sofa and switched on the TV . The noiseless living room felt somewhat unfamiliar .  

 

“…… . ”

 

I stared at the TV screen . Yet I still couldn’t get rid of that thought .  Suddenly, I realized it . That it felt─ lonely . Sitting alone, the feeling of loneliness was stifling .   

This was bad . It hadn’t even been over a month, yet to think that I who was used to being alone would feel this empty in my chest . To think my habit changed this much .

Just when I was feeling embarrassed and frowning, someone turned up in the living room .

 

“Oh, Happy . You woke up?”

 

It was Seon Hyung-nuna . I looked at her and nodded, a bit disappointed . When I turned to look at the TV screen, she sat next to me on the sofa .

 

“Looks like it’s raining . When I thought the weather was starting to get better…… . ”

 

She mumbled to herself . She turned her eyes to me who was watching the TV unenthusiastically .


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“It must have surprised you that Jun Hyung isn’t here . ”

“…… . ”

“Jun Hyung went to school today . It’s the orientation day . ”

“…… . ”

 

Orientation day . …… Don’t you have to take something? I was surprised somewhat .

 

“Regarding it as Orientation day, he must have gone to meet all the friends he had refused till now . That’s probably why he went . It must have been hard to refuse anymore . ”

“…… . ”

 

As if she knew I was surprised, she smiled and added .

 

“But it’s a big problem . Jun Hyung definitely did not take his umbrella . It must be pouring . ……”

“…… . ”

“I have to go out soon . There isn’t anyone else in the house . ”

“………… Should…… I go?”

“Huh?”

 

It was purely said by impulse . But now it needed to be somehow done . I seemed to be in the stage of thinking that it’ll work out somehow .

 

“If it’s Daeil, I know where it is . ”

 

Because it is the school I attend .

 

“I’ll take the umbrella with me . It’s not particularly troublesome . ”

 

I thought I wouldn’t come across any of the people I knew .  Since vacation was going on and there wouldn’t be any freshmen who’d know me, so even if I went to school to look for him there shouldn’t be anyone who would recognize me .

 

“Oh…… Really? Would you?”

 

Seeing her surprised by my answer, I silently nodded .

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