Picked Up In Winter - Chapter 32

Picked Up In Winter <32>

From that day on, the peculiar meeting between Jun Hyung and me had started. In fact, to call it a meeting, it was way too one-sided, but there wasn’t any other way how to express it. I’ve gone there every night to see him.

And Jun Hyung has always, as if he was guarding the seat, been sitting there…….

“…….”

Seeing him like that, my tears, which seemingly dried since that first day, haven’t come out again. I felt only unbearable sadness and sorrow the entirety of me watching him.

Fortunately, he was wearing his school uniform. It seemed like was properly going to school. But that also meant that he’d come here right after class. Because of that, my sad sentiments had doubled.

Was he eating his meals properly?
…That was impossible.

I seemed like his face got thinner.

My heart hurt.

Jun Hyung……. Why do you look like you’re having such a hard time……? Why does your face look so painful……?

Before I knew he was doing this, my heart was broken to the point when I thought nothing of the emptiness I had had felt then. Until he returned (home), I was watching him, hiding behind the corner every night.

Just like he was endlessly waiting for me, I also ceaselessly watched him and then gone back.

This kind of life now has been repeating over and over.

…… When the hell is he planning to give up?

Looking worriedly at the lonely back of his, I had always desperately wished for.

That he would give up now… That he wouldn’t come here anymore…….

But when I’d see the chair, he’s been always been sitting in one day suddenly empty, I couldn’t imagine how I would feel then.

So I constantly suffered from the torn/dual feelings.

At school, I did my best not to run into him. I sat in the classroom, not moving even a bit, thinking I might bump into him otherwise. Because I didn’t have the chance to see him, the only time I could meet him was this late night, the most precious and dear, but also the most sorrowful time for me. Whenever a deep night came, such an odd meeting would start, one he was unaware of, and which only I knew of.

And this life that didn’t seem to have an end… finally began to twist when someone else intervened between him and me.

As every other night, I went out that day, too. And today, too, I felt an unbearable sadness wash over me as I watched his lonely back guarding the bench. A deep dawn came finally, and he rose from his seat with heartbroken look. I watched his back that was moving away until it disappeared from my sight, and then I also turned to go back home.

However.

Unexpectedly, as I walked slightly further into the alley, Sangryeol stood there.

“…….”

“…….”

I was startled.

He looked at me with a somehow angry look on his face. When I saw it, I felt kind of guilty and couldn’t say anything. I just waited for him to make the next step.

“That guy, do you……”

At last, he opened his mouth.

“…… do you like him…… that much?”

“…….”

I held my breath. He gave me a reproachful look and shouted.

“Do you like that guy that much─!”

“…….”

…… What could I reply to that.

I couldn’t say anything. I just widened my eyes, mouth shut tight, and stared at the angry him blankly.

“It’s not just one or two days, what are you doing out here every single night, this…! Anyway, that guy, he doesn’t see you as anything other than a pet. You know it, too, right? That guy, he’s doing all of that without any meaning. He’s a weirdo, after all!”

Maybe because he was agitated, he shouted at me, even omitting the ‘hyung’. Not only that, he was talking so recklessly about Jun Hyung, whom he once said he so much admired.

But I didn’t feel any anger at Sangryeol, who’s been like this.

No, how could I feel angry at him? I just always felt grateful towards him.

I slowly opened my mouth in a calm, subsided voice.

“…… I can’t help it.”

“…….”

“My feet took me here without my knowing……”

“…….”

“So, there’s nothing I can do…… Sorry…….”

“…….”

He shut his mouth for a moment and looked at me with a complicated expression. And in an instant, he reached out, and tightly hugged my head.

I widened my eyes.

“Who’s worried about who now! Do you know? You look way more critical than that guy. You look like you’re gonna collapse at any moment!!”

“…….”

“Damn it.”

“…….”

…… Sorry.

I’m sorry, Sangryeol…….

But it’s going to be just for a while… He’ll give up soon too, anyway…

So at least until then, please.

Let me continue to do this.

But I didn’t think he has ever intended to understand me. The next day, after class, Sangryeol, who arrived at a later time on purpose and who was standing in front of the school gate, came into my view.

“……?”

Why did he come to our school?

I found it weird, and subconsciously turned my sight to his side. And just like that, I thought my heart would stop.

It was Jun Hyung…!

Jun Hyung was standing next to him…!

I was so shocked that my eyes glared fiercely at the two. Why was Jun Hyung with him? No, rather, why was he still here? When the class ended, shouldn’t you have gone straight to that place…? Did you…… finally… give up…?

… No. That wasn’t what was important now.

I could still run away now. When Jun Hyung hasn’t discovered me yet, I could still return to class. I slowly walked backwards.

But right then,

“Hagil-hyung…!”

Sangryeol called me in a loud voice.

That was the first time I ever felt resentment toward him. When Jun Hyung heard Sangryeol’s voice, he slowly turned to me. And eventually, our eyes met.

“…!!”

“…….”

Jun Hyung’s eyes opened so wide like they’ve never have before.

I was flustered. I think I had the word “dismay” written all over my face.

He looked at me incredulously for a while, then slowly, he began to walk toward me, in a very cautious motion.

“…….”

What to do…….

I have to run away. But my feet just wouldn’t move.

“Ha…ppy…?”

He who eventually walked up to me called out. But the instant I heard that name, I felt unbearable sorrow/heartache.

“…….”

I slowly looked up and stared at him who was in front of me. When I looked closer, I could see his emaciated face and rough cheeks more clearly. Somehow knowing the pain he has felt, my heart was broken to pieces.

… But Jun Hyung. There’s no helping it.

I could no longer pretend to be Happy…….

Hardening my heart, I passed by him. I could feel his body moving my way in surprise. But while trying to disregard him I quickly walked to Sangryeol.

“…….”

When Sangryeol saw me coming, he raised himself from the gate he was leaning on without really saying anything.

“Happy…!”

Jun Hyung’s voice calling me came from behind once again. I gritted my teeth and gave Sangryol a sign that he should go. He walked ahead with a bad look on his face, although without a doubt he was the one who did this.

I don’t know what you intended to achieve having us meet but……. If it was to show me how Jun Hyung (really) thinks of me, then you’ve been very perfectly successful.

I thought with tearful eyes, while staring resentfully at his back.

“Happy, wait…!”

Then suddenly, a strong force pulled my shoulder from behind, and I was shocked. With widened eyes, I turned back. Jun Hyung ran up to me somewhere along the line and grabbed my shoulder, and was looking at me.

“Happy, why…….”

“…….”

Asked Jun Hyung with a look full of confusion.

As I heard the question of <Why>, which seemed to imply so many meanings, I suddenly thought that this was a very comical situation.

He seemed to have a lot to ask, and although his expression was very complicated, he was unable to find any other words…….

I was, of course, the same. When I was in his house, that had been the question I had always had.

Why…….

Why did you do such things to me, when you only think of me as your pet…….

I could feel people passing by looking at us once in a while. But Jun Hyung, who seemed to have no care whatsoever, has been only waiting for me to answer, looking straight at me.

I couldn’t help clutching my trembling hands. I couldn’t couldn’t help it now. It was time to talk.

I squeezed my mouth open.

“Sorry… But…”

“…?”

“I don’t have such a name…”

“…!!”

“It seems like you’ve gotten… the wrong person…….”

“……!!”

His eyes shot open, as if unable to believe it. I didn’t want to see him like that so I turned away.

Once again, I passed by him quickly.

This time, as if he received a shock, he didn’t move and seemed frozen in that spot.

…… What should I do.

The eyes he looked at me with last have been stuck in my mind.

Hollow eyes, as if they were reflecting my heart. Instead, the eyes have been even sadder than that place filled with only emptiness.

And just like that, it seemed like my heart was torn into pieces.

I didn’t go to that place to see him again after that day. And perhaps, he also wouldn’t be there anymore, I had thought surely.

I once again waged a war against sleep. Of course, I haven’t been sleeping very comfortably before either, but ever since I opened up to Sangryeol a bit, the symptoms improved by some extent. But this time the torment was doubled. No, it wasn’t only when it was time to sleep, I was distressed even when I was awake. I was now losing control of myself.

His eyes kept haunting me. His eyes were so ingrained in my brain that they just refused to disappear. When that happened I was in such an agony, I thought what my happiness, what my pain.

Wasn’t it all the same anguish, anyway?

Then maybe it would be better to just be by his side as Happy. So I could stay by his side, even if it would be painful a little, maybe it would be better for me to live like that.

In any case, when I lived in that house, hadn’t I enjoyed it a lot, too……?

That’s why I was going to stay by his side. I didn’t know if he was going to take care of me for the rest of my life, but no matter what would happen in the future, what happened from then on, that…… not caring about it at all…….

Even if he’d get a wife later on, even if he’d get married…… gets tired of me, even if there comes a day when he’d abandon me……

Anyway, I. Until he wants to.

By his side…….

“…….”

I spent each day, in torment, thinking if it wouldn’t be better to be with him.

And it was at the peak of those circumstances when I met that fellow.

“Ha…ppy…?!”

It was on the way home after class. I was a little surprised by the unexpected call to me with the name. My heart was just about to sink, when I realized.

… this wasn’t Jun Hyung’s voice.

The sadness when he called out to me, was not in this voice…… This wasn’t his voice…….

Wondering, I turned toward the sound.

“…!”

And the one who stood there was his younger brother… Dae Hyung.

Dae Hyung, with his eyes wide open as if he was shell-shocked, was looking at me. And next to him, his friends were looking at me with questioning gazes. His friends looked at Dae Hyung and me alternatively, and asked him.

“What, Dae Hyung? Someone you know?”

“But why Happy…… Don’t tell me that’s that guy’s name……?”

“…….”

I thought I had to run away in any case.

I slowly stepped backwards, trying to ignore him and run. But in that moment, must having noticed I was about to sprint off, Dae Hyung’s eyes grew in size.

“…!”

I just ran. At last, I saw Dae Hyung running towards me, pushing through his friends.

“What the! Why are you running away!!? Happy, wait!!”

“Dae Hyung, Dae Hyung, were are you going!!?”

“Jo Dae Hyung∼!!”

“Happy…!!!!”

It was a bedlam.

Dae Hyung didn’t care about the attention of the people around at all, I didn’t know he’d follow me while calling out that name so loudly.

I ran for dear life. I was pretty good at running, so I was confident I wouldn’t get caught.

Whoosh-whoosh, the people walking in front stared at us in astonishment as we suddenly passed by them while sprinting.

But as I entered the increasingly crowded road, the space for running became limited, and I eventually ended bumping into someone who appeared before me. Bam, I could feel a sharp pain in my shoulder. The person I ran into went by as he was swearing something. And in that short moment, Dae Hyung, who ran without a break appeared before me, clasping my wrist tightly.

“Haahaa…….”

“Huuu… Haaaa…”

Both of us couldn’t speak out of breathlessness. Dae Hyung was gasping for air roughly, but as if to show he wouldn’t let go, he held onto my wrist firmly. So I couldn’t help than to slowly relax my fleeing body.

After our breathing had stabilized to a certain extent, we went to a nearby park. What Dae Hyung wanted from me was a conversation, I didn’t really feel like it but I agreed. As we entered the park without saying a word to each other, I had a sudden thought. This was the place where Dae Hyung had run to when he ran away from home.

“…….”

It was a curious coincidence…….

While thinking so, I stood still leaning against the lamppost. Dae Hyung glanced at me and then sat down.

“…….”

“…….”

Short silence followed. Dae Hyung was watching an empty swing before him, not saying anything. I didn’t have anything to tell him from the beginning, so I waited for his initiative, looking at the same place he was. Dae Hyung opened his mouth only after a long time.

“Why… didn’t you say anything and just suddenly left…?”

“…….”

I couldn’t answer. Although I expected that question, actually hearing it I really couldn’t answer it. Dae Hyung glared at me, who was speechless, with a gaze full of resentment.

“…….”

…… But still with that cold aura, it really didn’t seem like he was a middle school student.

“Did we… only mean that little to you?”

He suddenly muttered again in a low and subdued voice.

“That’s all we’ve been to you? When you want to leave, you can just go without uttering a single word, only that much…… And completely cut any form of contacting, only that much…… Were we only that kind of existence to you?”

“…….”

…… No. Dae Hyung.

That’s not true.

Then I wouldn’t be having such a hard time right now. It wouldn’t be this painful to live like this each day.

Even if I desperately want it to be like that, I can never make it so…….1

“…… After you’ve left, our house became a mess.”

Dae Hyung was still looking at me with eyes filled with resentment, when he suddenly mumbled.

“……!”

But when I heard that, I was shocked and widened my eyes, looking at him. Dae Hyung sneered seeing me like that.

“What? Worried? Well sure, it wasn’t that good even before you’ve came, so you don’t have to feel any remorse. It had always been tense because of me and my hyung.”

“…….”

“But… But, I mean…….”

“…….”

“Since you’ve left… it became worse…….”

“…….”

I was speechless. Dae Hyung explained in a faint voice, stared at the ground for a moment and then raised his face again.

“Hyung, hyung, even if he had no interest in our family… he at least came home. But these days, he rarely does. I don’t really know where he’s going every day, but ever since you’ve left he keeps going out.”

“…….”

“I think… it’s probably… because he’s been looking for you. Anyway, he goes out like that, and comes home at dawn, when everyone is sleeping. And he passes out like that. … So, lately, I haven’t even seen his face properly……!”

“…….”

Maybe because his emotions had intensified, Dae Hyung shouted as if he was throwing up.

“Besides, Min Hyung… Min Hyung is the same! Min Hyung doesn’t even eat properly anymore! He doesn’t answer when you call him, doesn’t play with Patrasche, always cooped up alone! …… Two in our home are in such a distressed state, our house……. can’t be fine, damn it…….”

“…….”

I was in an indescribable mood, staring at Dae Hyung who had said such things. I thought Dae Hyung’s eyes looked a bit watery, though I couldn’t know if that was just my imagination or not…….

“I……”

“…….”

Suddenly, Dae Hyung opened his mouth again with almost inaudible voice.

“…… I, well…… did you think I would be okay……….”

“…!”

I was bewildered by his words.

From that cold and cool-headed fellow’s lips came such a frail sound…!

I couldn’t believe it.

But Dae Hyung stood up, still with a cold face as if he had never uttered those words. And he still glared at me. In those eyes was still the resentment directed at me who didn’t know what to say, keeping my mouth shut.

“Even after saying so much… Do you really have nothing to say……?”

“…….”

“Happy……!”

“…….”

Raising his voice, Dae Hyung called out that name. At that moment, the lips, which seemed to be glued together, slowly separated.

I looked at him vacantly and said.

“That’s the reason…….”

“…? What?”

“That’s why…….”

“…… What do you mean?”

As if he didn’t understand, Dae Hyung slightly frowned.

“I… I’m not Happy……. I’m not something like a pet…… That’s why there’s no reason for me to stay in that house…….”

Dae Hyung’s eyes widened at my words. But he soon got his temper back and screamed again.

“Who treated you like a pet!”

“…… Who… you say…”

“If you’re possibly talking about Min Hyung, he’s still young. If I knew you were having a hard time because of that, I would have explained it to him clearly….”

I stared blankly at him, for a moment not understanding what he was saying.

There was something wrong with that.

I spoke again.

“I was talking about,”

But just then,

“About hyung……”

A desperate voice cut me off.

I held my breath unknowingly. The eyes of Dae Hyung who was standing in front of me, were getting wetter…….

“Do something about hyung, Happy…….”

“…….”

“I beg you…….”

“…….”

Dae Hyung who spoke until now, soon bit his lips and turned away. And just grazed past me as he ran.

Clack, clack, clack…….

I heard footsteps that were moving farther and farther away.

I stood in that place for a while in a daze.

Picked Up In Winter 32From that day on, the peculiar meeting between Jun Hyung and me had started. In fact, to call it a meeting, it was way too one-sided, but there wasn't any other way how to express it. I've gone there every night to see him.And Jun Hyung has always, as if he was guarding the seat, been sitting there..Seeing him like that, my tears, which seemingly dried since that first day, haven't come out again. I felt only unbearable sadness and sorrow the entirety of me watching him.Fortunately, he was wearing his school uniform. It seemed like was properly going to school. But that also meant that he'd come here right after class. Because of that, my sad sentiments had doubled.Was he eating his meals properly?That was impossible.I seemed like his face got thinner.My heart hurt.Jun Hyung. Why do you look like you're having such a hard time? Why does your face look so painful?Before I knew he was doing this, my heart was broken to the point when I thought nothing of the emptiness I had had felt then. Until he returned home, I was watching him, hiding behind the corner every night.Just like he was endlessly waiting for me, I also ceaselessly watched him and then gone back.This kind of life now has been repeating over and over. When the hell is he planning to give up?Looking worriedly at the lonely back of his, I had always desperately wished for.That he would give up now That he wouldn't come here anymore.But when I'd see the chair, he's been always been sitting in one day suddenly empty, I couldn't imagine how I would feel then.So I constantly suffered from the torn/dual feelings.At school, I did my best not to run into him. I sat in the classroom, not moving even a bit, thinking I might bump into him otherwise. Because I didn't have the chance to see him, the only time I could meet him was this late night, the most precious and dear, but also the most sorrowful time for me. Whenever a deep night came, such an odd meeting would start, one he was unaware of, and which only I knew of.And this life that didn't seem to have an end finally began to twist when someone else intervened between him and me.As every other night, I went out that day, too. And today, too, I felt an unbearable sadness wash over me as I watched his lonely back guarding the bench. A deep dawn came finally, and he rose from his seat with heartbroken look. I watched his back that was moving away until it disappeared from my sight, and then I also turned to go back home.However.Unexpectedly, as I walked slightly further into the alley, Sangryeol stood there...I was startled.He looked at me with a somehow angry look on his face. When I saw it, I felt kind of guilty and couldn't say anything. I just waited for him to make the next step.That guy, do youAt last, he opened his mouth. do you like him that much?.I held my breath. He gave me a reproachful look and shouted.Do you like that guy that much!. What could I reply to that.I couldn't say anything. I just widened my eyes, mouth shut tight, and stared at the angry him blankly.It's not just one or two days, what are you doing out here every single night, this! Anyway, that guy, he doesn't see you as anything other than a pet. You know it, too, right? That guy, he's doing all of that without any meaning. He's a weirdo, after all!Maybe because he was agitated, he shouted at me, even omitting the hyung'. Not only that, he was talking so recklessly about Jun Hyung, whom he once said he so much admired.But I didn't feel any anger at Sangryeol, who's been like this.No, how could I feel angry at him? I just always felt grateful towards him.I slowly opened my mouth in a calm, subsided voice. I can't help it..My feet took me here without my knowing.So, there's nothing I can do Sorry..He shut his mouth for a moment and looked at me with a complicated expression. And in an instant, he reached out, and tightly hugged my head.I widened my eyes.Who's worried about who now! Do you know? You look way more critical than that guy. You look like you're gonna collapse at any moment!!.Damn it.. Sorry.I'm sorry, Sangryeol.But it's going to be just for a while He'll give up soon too, anywaySo at least until then, please.Let me continue to do this.But I didn't think he has ever intended to understand me. The next day, after class, Sangryeol, who arrived at a later time on purpose and who was standing in front of the school gate, came into my view.?Why did he come to our school?I found it weird, and subconsciously turned my sight to his side. And just like that, I thought my heart would stop.It was Jun Hyung!Jun Hyung was standing next to him!I was so shocked that my eyes glared fiercely at the two. Why was Jun Hyung with him? No, rather, why was he still here? When the class ended, shouldn't you have gone straight to that place? Did you finally give up? No. That wasn't what was important now.I could still run away now. When Jun Hyung hasn't discovered me yet, I could still return to class. I slowly walked backwards.But right then,Hagil-hyung!Sangryeol called me in a loud voice.That was the first time I ever felt resentment toward him. When Jun Hyung heard Sangryeol's voice, he slowly turned to me. And eventually, our eyes met.!!.Jun Hyung's eyes opened so wide like they've never have before.I was flustered. I think I had the word dismay written all over my face.He looked at me incredulously for a while, then slowly, he began to walk toward me, in a very cautious motion..What to do.I have to run away. But my feet just wouldn't move.Happy?He who eventually walked up to me called out. But the instant I heard that name, I felt unbearable sorrow/heartache..I slowly looked up and stared at him who was in front of me. When I looked closer, I could see his emaciated face and rough cheeks more clearly. Somehow knowing the pain he has felt, my heart was broken to pieces. But Jun Hyung. There's no helping it.I could no longer pretend to be Happy.Hardening my heart, I passed by him. I could feel his body moving my way in surprise. But while trying to disregard him I quickly walked to Sangryeol..When Sangryeol saw me coming, he raised himself from the gate he was leaning on without really saying anything.Happy!Jun Hyung's voice calling me came from behind once again. I gritted my teeth and gave Sangryol a sign that he should go. He walked ahead with a bad look on his face, although without a doubt he was the one who did this.I don't know what you intended to achieve having us meet but. If it was to show me how Jun Hyung really thinks of me, then you've been very perfectly successful.I thought with tearful eyes, while staring resentfully at his back.Happy, wait!Then suddenly, a strong force pulled my shoulder from behind, and I was shocked. With widened eyes, I turned back. Jun Hyung ran up to me somewhere along the line and grabbed my shoulder, and was looking at me.Happy, why..Asked Jun Hyung with a look full of confusion.As I heard the question of Why, which seemed to imply so many meanings, I suddenly thought that this was a very comical situation.He seemed to have a lot to ask, and although his expression was very complicated, he was unable to find any other words.I was, of course, the same. When I was in his house, that had been the question I had always had.Why.Why did you do such things to me, when you only think of me as your pet.I could feel people passing by looking at us once in a while. But Jun Hyung, who seemed to have no care whatsoever, has been only waiting for me to answer, looking straight at me.I couldn't help clutching my trembling hands. I couldn't couldn't help it now. It was time to talk.I squeezed my mouth open.Sorry But?I don't have such a name!!It seems like you've gotten the wrong person.!!His eyes shot open, as if unable to believe it. I didn't want to see him like that so I turned away.Once again, I passed by him quickly.This time, as if he received a shock, he didn't move and seemed frozen in that spot. What should I do.The eyes he looked at me with last have been stuck in my mind.Hollow eyes, as if they were reflecting my heart. Instead, the eyes have been even sadder than that place filled with only emptiness.And just like that, it seemed like my heart was torn into pieces.I didn't go to that place to see him again after that day. And perhaps, he also wouldn't be there anymore, I had thought surely.I once again waged a war against sleep. Of course, I haven't been sleeping very comfortably before either, but ever since I opened up to Sangryeol a bit, the symptoms improved by some extent. But this time the torment was doubled. No, it wasn't only when it was time to sleep, I was distressed even when I was awake. I was now losing control of myself.His eyes kept haunting me. His eyes were so ingrained in my brain that they just refused to disappear. When that happened I was in such an agony, I thought what my happiness, what my pain.Wasn't it all the same anguish, anyway?Then maybe it would be better to just be by his side as Happy. So I could stay by his side, even if it would be painful a little, maybe it would be better for me to live like that.In any case, when I lived in that house, hadn't I enjoyed it a lot, too?That's why I was going to stay by his side. I didn't know if he was going to take care of me for the rest of my life, but no matter what would happen in the future, what happened from then on, that not caring about it at all.Even if he'd get a wife later on, even if he'd get married gets tired of me, even if there comes a day when he'd abandon meAnyway, I. Until he wants to.By his side..I spent each day, in torment, thinking if it wouldn't be better to be with him.And it was at the peak of those circumstances when I met that fellow.Happy?!It was on the way home after class. I was a little surprised by the unexpected call to me with the name. My heart was just about to sink, when I realized. this wasn't Jun Hyung's voice.The sadness when he called out to me, was not in this voice This wasn't his voice.Wondering, I turned toward the sound.!And the one who stood there was his younger brother Dae Hyung.Dae Hyung, with his eyes wide open as if he was shell-shocked, was looking at me. And next to him, his friends were looking at me with questioning gazes. His friends looked at Dae Hyung and me alternatively, and asked him.What, Dae Hyung? Someone you know?But why Happy Don't tell me that's that guy's name?.I thought I had to run away in any case.I slowly stepped backwards, trying to ignore him and run. But in that moment, must having noticed I was about to sprint off, Dae Hyung's eyes grew in size.!I just ran. At last, I saw Dae Hyung running towards me, pushing through his friends.What the! Why are you running away!!? Happy, wait!!Dae Hyung, Dae Hyung, were are you going!!?Jo Dae Hyung!!Happy!!!!It was a bedlam.Dae Hyung didn't care about the attention of the people around at all, I didn't know he'd follow me while calling out that name so loudly.I ran for dear life. I was pretty good at running, so I was confident I wouldn't get caught.Whoosh-whoosh, the people walking in front stared at us in astonishment as we suddenly passed by them while sprinting.But as I entered the increasingly crowded road, the space for running became limited, and I eventually ended bumping into someone who appeared before me. Bam, I could feel a sharp pain in my shoulder. The person I ran into went by as he was swearing something. And in that short moment, Dae Hyung, who ran without a break appeared before me, clasping my wrist tightly.Haahaa.Huuu HaaaaBoth of us couldn't speak out of breathlessness. Dae Hyung was gasping for air roughly, but as if to show he wouldn't let go, he held onto my wrist firmly. So I couldn't help than to slowly relax my fleeing body.After our breathing had stabilized to a certain extent, we went to a nearby park. What Dae Hyung wanted from me was a conversation, I didn't really feel like it but I agreed. As we entered the park without saying a word to each other, I had a sudden thought. This was the place where Dae Hyung had run to when he ran away from home..It was a curious coincidence.While thinking so, I stood still leaning against the lamppost. Dae Hyung glanced at me and then sat down...Short silence followed. Dae Hyung was watching an empty swing before him, not saying anything. I didn't have anything to tell him from the beginning, so I waited for his initiative, looking at the same place he was. Dae Hyung opened his mouth only after a long time.Why didn't you say anything and just suddenly left?.I couldn't answer. Although I expected that question, actually hearing it I really couldn't answer it. Dae Hyung glared at me, who was speechless, with a gaze full of resentment.. But still with that cold aura, it really didn't seem like he was a middle school student.Did we only mean that little to you?He suddenly muttered again in a low and subdued voice.That's all we've been to you? When you want to leave, you can just go without uttering a single word, only that much And completely cut any form of contacting, only that much Were we only that kind of existence to you?. No. Dae Hyung.That's not true.Then I wouldn't be having such a hard time right now. It wouldn't be this painful to live like this each day.Even if I desperately want it to be like that, I can never make it so.1 After you've left, our house became a mess.Dae Hyung was still looking at me with eyes filled with resentment, when he suddenly mumbled.!But when I heard that, I was shocked and widened my eyes, looking at him. Dae Hyung sneered seeing me like that.What? Worried? Well sure, it wasn't that good even before you've came, so you don't have to feel any remorse. It had always been tense because of me and my hyung..But But, I mean..Since you've left it became worse..I was speechless. Dae Hyung explained in a faint voice, stared at the ground for a moment and then raised his face again.Hyung, hyung, even if he had no interest in our family he at least came home. But these days, he rarely does. I don't really know where he's going every day, but ever since you've left he keeps going out..I think it's probably because he's been looking for you. Anyway, he goes out like that, and comes home at dawn, when everyone is sleeping. And he passes out like that. So, lately, I haven't even seen his face properly!.Maybe because his emotions had intensified, Dae Hyung shouted as if he was throwing up.Besides, Min Hyung Min Hyung is the same! Min Hyung doesn't even eat properly anymore! He doesn't answer when you call him, doesn't play with Patrasche, always cooped up alone! Two in our home are in such a distressed state, our house. can't be fine, damn it..I was in an indescribable mood, staring at Dae Hyung who had said such things. I thought Dae Hyung's eyes looked a bit watery, though I couldn't know if that was just my imagination or not.I.Suddenly, Dae Hyung opened his mouth again with almost inaudible voice. I, well did you think I would be okay.!I was bewildered by his words.From that cold and cool-headed fellow's lips came such a frail sound!I couldn't believe it.But Dae Hyung stood up, still with a cold face as if he had never uttered those words. And he still glared at me. In those eyes was still the resentment directed at me who didn't know what to say, keeping my mouth shut.Even after saying so much Do you really have nothing to say?.Happy!.Raising his voice, Dae Hyung called out that name. At that moment, the lips, which seemed to be glued together, slowly separated.I looked at him vacantly and said.That's the reason.? What?That's why. What do you mean?As if he didn't understand, Dae Hyung slightly frowned.I I'm not Happy. I'm not something like a pet That's why there's no reason for me to stay in that house.Dae Hyung's eyes widened at my words. But he soon got his temper back and screamed again.Who treated you like a pet! Who you sayIf you're possibly talking about Min Hyung, he's still young. If I knew you were having a hard time because of that, I would have explained it to him clearly.I stared blankly at him, for a moment not understanding what he was saying.There was something wrong with that.I spoke again.I was talking about,But just then,About hyungA desperate voice cut me off.I held my breath unknowingly. The eyes of Dae Hyung who was standing in front of me, were getting wetter.Do something about hyung, Happy..I beg you..Dae Hyung who spoke until now, soon bit his lips and turned away. And just grazed past me as he ran.Clack, clack, clack.I heard footsteps that were moving farther and farther away.I stood in that place for a while in a daze.