VOLUME 1
Chapter 11: Nurse’s Office: No Minors Allowed
A dozen delinquents stood in Tsurugi and company’s way. No matter how you thought about it, these delinquents probably had something to do with Tsurugi (she was dressed in a biker gang’s jacket, after all), so all of the delinquents were staring at her silently.
”Special Event// New Students Bullied by the Delinquent Upperclassmen” has been activated!
“This game is just getting insane…”
Kagami looked unhappy, but the delinquents didn’t mind the fishy way in which Kagami and the others were acting. They just continued to talk as they were programmed to.
Delinquent A: We’ve heard about you… you say you’re a banchou?
Delinquent B: But you know, if you come to this school you gotta obey the rules at ‘Takamagahara Academy.’ Underclassmen bow down to upperclassmen. Got it?
Delinquent C: How ‘bout you get on your knees and pledge your loyalty to us first?
The delinquents smiled as they closed in.
Delinquent B: We’re not doin’ this cuz we hate you or anything. It’s training, got it? Shaking down innocent passerbys, rampaging around the opening ceremonies… gotta teach you a lesson so you feel sorry about your actions, right?
“Like this, it seems like oneesan is really a character in one of those manga about delinquents. Ahh, no matter how properly I try to live, just having one delinquent relative makes my future bleak indeed…”
Tsurugi: Shut up.
Tsurugi completely ignored the delinquents and pushed the “Help” button on screen, beginning to look up a few things. Each of the three Yagami sisters sure just went at her own pace…
Tsurugi: This is bad… if a character “dies,” then you have to “revive” him as soon as possible or else he is “terminated.” And just like how that sounds, the character would disappear forever. And the longer a character remains “dead,” the harder it is to successfully “revive” him… we really don’t have the time to deal with these idiots…
“W-We can’t run away?”
Tama seemed nervous and looked at my brother, who was still being carried by Kagami.
By the way, my brother’s character had died, so he was pretty free now and was going around serving everyone drinks. Geez, he has no sense of urgency at all…
“Funyaa. It’s useless to try and run. These events will be forced to continue until the battle ends. The only two choices are to be completely defeated or to beat up all those delinquents.”
Tsurugi: Well then, looks like we got to kill all our enemies quickly here.
Tsurugi readied her wooden sword.
Tsurugi: If you’re “terminated,” then you can’t make a new character for a while… so maybe this “enemy” is trying to terminate all of us so we can’t meddle in Yamata no Orochi SNS anymore… It’s still unclear who our enemy is, and whether the gods have anything to do with this, but that’s even more of a reason to prevent the death of our characters, who can interface with this world and help us investigate.
After that, Tsurugi faced the gang of delinquents, her biker’s jacket flying in the wind.
Tsurugi: Don’t think you small fry can do anything against this cute little Tsurugi-chan. Come at me, I’ll finish you off quick!
Delinquent A: Interesting… you guys, let’s go!”
Delinquent B: Don’t underestimate us!
Delinquent C: Hyaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhh!!!
The delinquents let out completely clichéd shouts of fury and ran at them.
HP and SP meters now appeared over each of their heads, making their statuses easy to read.
We were in a wide hallway, but the delinquents didn’t seem to have any plan whatsoever and just made a mad dash at the Yagami sisters one by one.
“Uwahh… during battle everything spins around and around…”
Kagami seemed a bit troubled.
“For someone who likes to take it easy, dealing with things that go this fast is a bit…”
Tsurugi: Kagami, Tama, get back!
The younger sisters had yet to get used to the game, and Tsurugi ordered them back. She sent her blade right into the delinquent at the very front. Her attack was extremely swift.
Tsurugi’s attack! Her wooden sword thrusts forward sharply!
Delinquent A takes 75 damage!
Delinquent A: Gyahghh!!
With that one attack, the delinquent’s HP gauge was completely depleted, and he burst apart in midair… and vanished.
An unnatural-looking treasure box was left in the hallway, and with a “funyaa,” Kagami went over and opened it. There was a “blood-soaked onigiri (1)” inside.
As her little sister lazily went around and picked up the treasure and the gold which had been scattered about, Tsurugi was showing just how ferocious she could be.
There were a lot of delinquents, but Tsurugi’s power was not to be trifled with… she was cleaning up all the enemies incredibly quickly.
Tsurugi: I defeated gate guard-chan and my level went up… yes, there’s no way I can lose now! I made a promise to meet gate guard-chan at lunch, after all…! I’m gonna beat you all to bits and then go confess my love to gate guard-chan!
“Nee-san, please stop indirectly sending up death flags.”
Kagami was opening up another treasure box. There was a “blood-soaked headband” inside. Why was every damn thing soaked in blood?
Tsurugi: But there’s seriously no end to this… how many delinquents are in this damn school?!
“Funyaa. Seems there’s an unexpected large number of bad eggs at this school, doesn’t it?”
Tsurugi: Even though the headmaster was wearing cat ears and looked like she came right out of a fairy tale…
“There’s a back side to every fairy tale too… Tama, I’m leaving sensei to you.”
Kagami left my brother to Tama and joined the battle.
“I’ve gotten use to their movements… it seems these delinquents move in patterns. I can deal with them now too.”
Just like she said, Kagami dodged as a delinquent came down on her with his weapon, and slowly moved behind him. After that, she held the thick syringe she was holding aloft, and…
Kagami’s attack!
Shhhlp! Her huge syringe plunges into Delinquent C’s heart, causing him immense pain and pouring narcotics into him! Delinquent C screams, clawing at his throat, and convulses on the floor like a fish before his eyes roll back into his head and he faints!
Tsurugi: Why was that syringe attack’s description so detailed?! That’s seriously scary!
“I don’t know. But he’s only fainted from the narcotics, so I leave the rest to neesan.”
Tsurugi: I really think you’d die if you get narcotics injected right into your heart though…
Tsurugi grumbled and dealt the finishing blow to the delinquent.
For a little while longer, the two sister team wreaked havoc on the delinquents.
Kagami would inject the enemy with narcotics, and Tsurugi would finish him off with her wooden sword.
Their efficiency went up, the threat level went down, and the number of surviving enemies quickly diminished.
“Oh.”
But that couldn’t continue forever.
Kagami sighed while still holding onto her syringe.
“I’ve run out of narcotics. I won’t be able to fight anymore.”
Tsurugi: But it looks like you can replace that with another item you have. So how about you dissolve my tobacco in some water… seems like if you add a lot of sugar it’ll taste like chocolate too.
“I don’t want any chocolates that would kill you instantly if you ate them. This isn’t going to work… it seems that if you don’t go to the ‘Laboratory’ and ‘mix’ the ingredients together then you can’t refill this syringe.”
Tsurugi: Ugh, that’s inconvenient… huh?!
As if the game had gotten angry at these two sisters who were just having a relaxed conversation, the background music changed, and the atmosphere became eerie, signaling that a boss character or something like that was about to appear.
The screen flashed red, and all the delinquents looked back at the center of the hallway.
Delinquent F: Ohh, Toshi-kun!
Delinquent G: Toshi-kun’s come! This battle is ours!
This Toshi-kun or whatever was a muscular giant, whose purple pompadour towered above his head like some lethal weapon.
He had on leather clothes with a lot of spikes sprouting out, and was also wearing sunglasses.
He looked like the kind of guy who had no interest in anything except his bike and picking fights.
Toshi-kun pretty much ignored all the other delinquents and rushed straight at Tsurugi.
Tsurugi: Hwah?!
He was so much faster than the other delinquents, and Tsurugi had let down her guard, so she was completely caught by surprise by his tackle and sent flying.
Her small body tumbled down the hallway, and her HP gauge went down.
Tsurugi: Impressive… so you’re the chief of this gang of delinquents, huh?
Toshi-kun: Looks like you’ve been taking care of my subordinates… but I won’t permit any more mischief past this… prepare to see Hell.
Toshi-kun spoke in a harsh tone.
The other delinquents surrounded them at a distance to watch the fight. It seemed like this was a pretty tough opponent for Tsurugi at her current level. She went through all her techniques and somehow dodged her enemy’s attacks, but even if she hit him with her wooden sword, her opponent’s HP wouldn’t drop by very much.
On the other hand, her opponent swung around a big wooden plank, and if that plank even touched Tsurugi her HP would fall by a lot.
“Neesan!”
Kagami seemed panicked and was clicking all over the screen.
“I’ll try some healing magic… ummm… it’s this one!”
Kagami used “Animal Heal”!
”Animal Heal” has no effect on humans!
Tsurugi: Uwaah, so you seriously can’t heal humans?! What a damn useless vet!
“What?! Vet is a respected, wonderful job! Please apologize, neesan!”
Tsurugi: You’re scolding me?! Uwah, crap, my HP is almost zero!
While reacting to her idiot little sister, Tsurugi seemed to have gotten into quite a pinch.
And then came the icing on the cake.
Toshi-kun’s special attack! Toshi-kun Charge!
Tsurugi’s “wooden sword” was destroyed!
Tsurugi: My weapon got destroyed?! That’s possible?! Crap, I won’t be able to do any damage barehanded! I’m gonna lose at this rate!
Toshi-kun’s special attack! Toshi-kun Bear Hug!
Tsurugi cannot move!
Tsurugi: Ugyah, I feel like I’m in a bit of a bind! Someone help me!
Tsurugi was being hugged by Toshi-kun and squeezed to death.
There was a huge size difference between the two of them, so it almost looked like a parent hugging his daughter.
But this skill would break spines if someone tried it for real, so good boys and girls should refrain from trying it.
As an added bonus, Tsurugi was pretty constricted so she couldn’t do anything.
She couldn’t run away, she couldn’t attack… all she could do was watch her HP go down and down…
“Tsurugi-nee!”
Tama seemed to not be able to stand still anymore, and rushed at Toshi-kun after dropping my brother.
“Hmph! Don’t do mean things to Tsurugi-nee!”
Tama’s attack!
Rip!
Toshi-kun: … Aghh!!
The carving knife stabs deep into Toshi-kun’s side. His liver is torn up and his innards are damaged to the point where blood flows out of Toshi-kun’s mouth. In the blink of an eye, his clothes, his skin, and then the hallway becomes painted red with fresh blood.
Toshi-kun’s face pales and he groans.
Toshi-kun: G-Gurgle… she stabbed me… she stabbed me…! … Aghh!!
The strength seeps from Toshi-kun’s body and he collapses. The blood doesn’t stop…
Tsurugi: Seriously, why are the descriptions for your attacks so vivid?! Although you did save me back there!
Tsurugi was released and landed on the floor. She gave a disgusted look down at Toshi-kun, who was now breathing raggedly.
At that point, a light flashed in the middle of the hallway, and a new character appeared and rushed to Toshi-kun’s side.
Akemi: Kyaahh!! Toshi-kuuun!!
Toshi-kun: A-… Akemi… heh, sorry…
Akemi: Waaaah, who did such a terrible thing… murderers!!!!!!!!!!
Toshi-kun: Don’t cry, Akemi… it’s fine like this… I’ve always known that one day I’d make a mistake like this… but it’s a shame I have to die like a dog…
Akemi: No! Please don’t die Toshi-kuun!! T-Toshi-kun is nothing like a do-“
“Hyah!”
Tama’s attack!
Akemi’s neck is cut and huge amounts of blood spurt up to the ceiling! Akemi looks at Tama with a complete look of disbelief on her face and collapses to the floor. Seeing his lover die within his arms, Toshi-kun begins to cry…
“Take this!”
Tama’s attack!”
Toshi-kun died!
Tsurugi: What are you doing?!
As expected, Tsurugi seemed shocked and rushed over to her little sister.
Tsurugi: You killed them without any hesitation! Even though it looked like this was turning out to be a heartwarming dramatic scene! And you even killed this Akemi-chan who we didn’t know anything about!
“?? Tsurugi-nee, this is a game and these are the enemies, right?
Tsurugi: Yeah, that’s definitely true! But you’re seriously scary!
Delinquent X: Whaaa?! T-They… they killed them… they’re monsters!!
Delinquent H: Don’t run, you all! We’ll avenge Toshi-kun’s death!
There were those who ran away lightning quick, but it seemed there were also some delinquents who were resolved to stay and battle to the death.
Tsurugi sighed.
Tsurugi: Well then, I guess Tama’s pure desire to save me turned into an alteration and gave Tama’s character a temporary powerup… that’s a bit underhanded and I admit I don’t like it very much… but we’re not here to have fun. So maybe I’ll get serious too?
Tsurugi took my brother from Kagami and gave a wicked smile.
Tsurugi: My wooden sword broke… so I’ll just equip something else!
Tsurugi has equipped “loser”!
“Huh?! You can equip that?! One of your companion’s corpses?!”
Tsurugi: Fufufu!
Tsurugi let out a strange laugh, and then took giant swings with my brother to mow down the delinquents. The delinquents were knocked flying, broke through the windows and flew outside, or had their entire HP gauge drained in one attack and exploded.
Tsurugi: This is nice. Looks like Tsukuyomi is more useful when he’s dead… let’s cut through like this!
“Looks like now anything and everything goes in this game, doesn’t it…?”
Kagami grumbled, an amazed look on her face.
@@@@@@
After conquering that mountain of corpses lying in rivers of blood, Tsurugi and the others paid gold at a magical portal, which teleported them to the nurse’s office (maybe it was already getting spread around that those delinquents were now sinking in a sea of blood, but there were no more unwanted interruptions on the way there).
The nurse’s office was also in a classical Japanese style, and it almost felt like they had taken a medical exam room from the Meiji Era (2) and made it larger.
Apart from the wooden walls and the floor and the ceiling, there were countless numbers of beds.
There were plenty of nurses wearing what looked like classical Japanese versions of modern nurse uniforms, and there were also doctors milling about.
Tsurugi and the others put my brother on one of those beds, and everyone breathed a sigh of relief.
Tsurugi: Geez, looks like we finally made it.
Tsurugi took a seat in one of the visitor chairs, her legs swinging freely back and forth.
Tsurugi: Anyways, I’ll have to go buy a weapon later… that wooden sword is toast. But looks like we have a lot of money saved up now, so I can probably get a really nice sword or axe…
“We’ve also gained a few levels since we earned quite a lot of experience points… it seems those delinquents were tougher than they looked. Players who just started school should not have been able to defeat them.”
Kagami also looked satisfied, and Tsurugi nodded.
Things have gone smoothly, but it’d still be annoying if Tsukuyomi dies on us every time something happens. We’ll have to toughen this guy up too… actually, first we have to revive him. How do you do that again?
“Please wait, I’ll read the explanation…”
Kagami clicked on an icon next to the bed, and read the words that appeared on her screen.
“Hmm… it seems you can ask the doctors here to handle everything, or we can participate in a minigame. But it also seems that it’s preferable to choose the latter if we’re here, since we will earn experience points and we don’t have to pay lots of money to the doctors.”
Tsurugi: We’re in a school but the nurse’s office costs money…
“What kind of minigame? Tama wants to play too! Tama wants to make Paparin all better again!”
“I’m not sure, but… life is about trying things out, so shall we try?”
“Okay!”
Tama seemed to cheer up, and Kagami began to advise her while reading the instructions.
At the same time, the screen changed.
”Minigame//Naughty Nurse’s Office… ☆” has been activated!
A sketchy pink light shone and the background music changed to something that sounded pretty dirty.
“It’s dirty?! This is quite strange… neesan, did you use an alteration to make things like this? Earlier I had my clothes stripped off easily too…”
Tsurugi: I wouldn’t try a pointless alteration like this… I don’t know. Maybe the perverted side of me did this unconsciously.
Tsurugi seemed a bit proud (why?) and smiled.
“Umm…”
The same thing appeared on all three siblings’ screens.
In the middle was my brother lying on the bed.
Around him were scattered a bunch of unnatural looking things… syringes, medicine capsules, apples, bottles with skull and crossbones on them, and for some reason a whip and a candle…
“It seems like in this minigame you have to try all these items around here within the time limit and revive sensei… in other words, you have to nurse him back to health.”
“N-Nurse?”
Tama seemed bewildered, but Kagami urged her on.
“Tama’s screen is the only one which shows the time limit… so it’s fine, just hurry up and try things out. Even if you fail neesan and I are still here… so don’t worry about it.”
“O-Okay! I-I’ll nurse him… umm…”
Tama found a wash basin with ice water in it, and she put in a towel. After the towel had been plenty chilled, she put the towel on my brother’s forehead.
“H-How’s this?!”
Tsurugi: Nah, that’s what you would do if he had a cold… Tsukuyomi is dead right now…
Kamiomi: Thank you, Tama-san. Because of you I feel refreshed now.
Kamiomi’s affection points towards Tama have increased by 20!
Tsurugi: Affection points?! What the hell?!
Tsurugi was overly sensitive to galge (3) lingo, and so she immediately reacted.
Kagami carefully read the instruction’s manual.
“Hmm… it seems that in this minigame, the primary objective isn’t to try realistic approaches to healing, but rather to be a devoted nurse and gain affection points. Seems like you can do anything you want and the game won’t fail you on this minigame.”
Tsurugi: But I didn’t even know there was this affection point parameter… does something happen if you get that parameter high enough?! Does something pervy happen?!
“Please stop getting so excited only when it comes to things like this… umm, please wait a moment. Ahh, if you raise affection points, when your characters graduate, you can get married, or in certain cases can also make children. And then you can use those children as your next characters…”
Tsurugi: Marriage?! Making children…?!
“The affection points automatically go up or down normally during the game. But it seems if you heal someone, or if you play a minigame like this and get closer to someone, these affection points go up by a lot. So neesan, who was swinging around sensei’s corpse and ridiculing him like that, probably has the lowest affection points at this point.”
Tsurugi: Dammit, if I knew we could make babies I would have been nicer to him!
You know, just because you can have children, that doesn’t mean they’re going to show an image of you making babies or make it into a minigame or something like that… you understand that, right?
I felt a bit conflicted here… but all I could do was watch.
“Next is umm… the thermometer?”
As the older sisters talked with each other, Tama was trying her very best to be a good nurse.
“Okay, open your mouth wide and say ‘ahhh.’ Let’s check your temperature~~ ☆ .“
Kamiomi: I understand. Tama-san is so kind.
Kamiomi’s affection points towards Tama have increased by 10!
“… Hm? The last few things sensei has said weren’t said out loud but were displayed on screen…”
Kagami realized that and looked at my brother’s screen.
And then a look of complete shock appeared on her face.
My brother’s screen was showing something different from the other three screens; indeed, the scene on his screen could have been taken right out of a galge.
Right in front of him was displayed an image of Tama (in a maid outfit), and the game gave him choices every time she did something.
Tama took the thermometer out and cocked her head to the side.
“Oh my? Paparin, you don’t have a temperature!”
How do you respond to Tama’s actions?
(1) Thanks for worrying about me.
(2) How the hell am I supposed to have a temperature?! I’m a damn corpse, you idiot!
(3) Googoo gaga, nurse me more pureaaaze!!
My brother picked choice (1). And his affection points towards Tama increased.
“I see… so if someone you don’t like tries to interact with you or nurses you, you can just pick the coldest replies and your affection points for each other won’t go up by much… also, option three is seriously screwed in the head!”
Kagami seemed shaken, but then began to whisper.
“This is troubling… considering sensei’s personality, no matter what anybody does to him he’ll never pick the cruel response… and in the end, he’ll marry the person who he has the highest affection points for. So only one of us can marry sensei… well, it’s not like I care though.”
“G-Getting married to Paparin…?”
It seemed Tama finally had found the time to listen to what her sisters were saying. Picking up the word “marriage” with her sharp ears, she began to fidget around and sway her body back and forth.
“Ehehe…”
I didn’t know what she was imagining, but her face was now bright red.
“I-In that case, Tama… is going to try her best too! … But Paparin is dead, so Tama doesn’t know what to do… for now Tama just wants to bring him back to life.”
“If that’s what you want, Tama, pick up that item over there.”
“This?”
Tama followed Kagami’s advice (?), and picked up the bottle with the skull-and-crossbones on it.
“Take that and sprinkle it all over sensei.”
“Okay!”
Splash!
Tama has splashed extremely thick strong acid on you.
Your entire body is hideously burned and you collapse. How do you respond?
(1) Everyone makes mistakes sometimes. Don’t worry about it, Tama-san.
(2) JA*#&@K*@Q!?!
(3) Hah hah hah… more… splash more on me!
“The choices are now so sad! Kagami-nee tricked Tama?!”
“Whatever could you mean?”
After that, Tama continued to be tricked by Kagami, pouring ice water over my brother, rubbing mustard into his wounds, hitting him with the whip… My brother was picking the nicest responses in return, but since Tama was inflicting what would normally be fatal wounds on him, his affection points for her couldn’t be getting too high.
And after a while of that, Tama’s time ran out.
“Well then, seems like it’s my turn next.”
“Hmph! Women are so cruel!”
Kagami raised her hand, while Tama drank a juice box next to her with tears streaming from her eyes.
“I am a vet… which means I’m in a medical profession, and so all the parameters necessary to heal others should be quite high in my character. I also have the requisite knowledge, so…”
Kagami used a healing charm to resurrect my brother, and then healed him perfectly with blood transfusions and medicine.
My brother’s coloring returned, and his body which had been destroyed by Tama went back to normal.
Kamiomi: Ohh, what tremendous skill. Kagami-san, you saved me.
My brother’s affection points went up insanely high. To something like 70.
My brother was finally able to sit up in bed, and Kagami went over to him. She put a hand on her forehead, taking his temperature.
“If you ever feel sick, just let me know. Fufu, you sure slept for a long time, sleepyhead sensei…”
Tsurugi: You’re way more clever than I expected, aren’t you?! Acting innocent like that…!!
Tsurugi yelled at Kagami as Kagami steadily earned more and more affection points.
“Sway whatever you want. I-It’s not like I want to raise sensei’s affection points and marry him or anything. One of our companions was not able to battle anymore, and even though I’m a healer I haven’t been able to do much until now, so I thought I would just try here… right~~ ☆?”
Tsurugi: “right~~ ☆?” my ass! Dammit, you’re always so emotionless that when you act so kind towards a weak person like this it feels really moe moe! Ugh, Kagami, you’re my wife!
“No, I’m your sister…”
Tsurugi got excited and hugged her little sister, while Kagami seemed a bit at a loss and tried to shove her older sister off.
“Ah, my time is up.”
Kagami was in the process of cutting an apple for my brother and feeding him when her time ran out. Her affection points were around 300… (by the way, Tama’s affection points were at around negative 100).
Tsurugi: Alrighty.
Tsurugi’s character on screen raised her hand high.
Tsurugi: The star player has arrived! My turn!
“Eh? But sensei’s character has already been revived and is at full health now…”
Tsurugi: Shut up! I’m the main heroine here! You can’t just go for the ending with the convenient girl who’s only nice to you when you’re weak! Also, since the nurse’s office is usually so empty and has a bed, it’s one of the two best spots for pervy scenes to happen! The other one being the gym equipment room! You understand what I’m trying to say?!
“This is all neesan ever thinks about…”
Kagami looked bewildered as her older sister’s character didn’t seem to be able to hold it in anymore and began to strip off her biker’s jacket.
“What in the world are you doing?!”
As expected, Tsurugi ignored her sister’s attempts to stop her, and jumped onto the bed in her birthday suit.
Tsurugi: Don’t interfere, Kagami! I’m going to get his affections point up and I’m going to make everyone my wife and gate guard-chan and Tsukuyomi and my little sisters are all going to snuggle up to me and we’re going to live in happiness and surge right for a harem ending! Tsukuyomi, you strip too!
Kamiyomi’s “old rag” has been removed from his equipment list!
“Why is it so easy in this game to take people’s clothes off?! Stop, neesan, there are children present! Aghh… t-this is… in a place like that…”
“I’m scaaared, I’m scaaared. Tsurugi-nee and Paparin are naked and they’re doing something weiiird…”
“Stop traumatizing elementary schoolers!”
Kagami panicked and covered Tama’s eyes with her hands in real life.
And I was at the limit of my patience.
–
Sasamisan: WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING TO ONIICHAN?!?!?!
–
The nurse’s office fell into silence.
Even Tsurugi who was acting completely out of bounds… even my brother who was getting his affection points for Tsurugi raised forcefully and yet didn’t seem to be sad about that at all and was squirming around asking for more (resist more dammit)… even the panicking Kagami, even the sobbing Tama… everyone simultaneously lost their ability to speak.
“Y-You are…!!”
Tsurugi covered herself with the bedsheets and cocked her head to the side in puzzlement.
“Don’t tell me… Sasami?!”
In the real world, Tsurugi turned and looked at me, and I gave a nod back.
In order to best be able to offer support or interference if something happened, I had worked hard to transport my character from far away to “Takamagahara Academy.”
My entire body was decorated with rare Divine Beasts Equipment, and I had a huge magical weapon on my back. I walked over to the others, my metallic armored boots making clinking noises as I walked.
Tsurugi: I see, so you also started playing Yamata no Orochi SNS… also, your HP and SP are really high…
“……….”
I couldn’t explain that very easily, so I decided to just ignore it.
I began to quickly type a message.
Sasamisan: I thought I would just stay quiet and watch… but even if we’re in a game, when a family member is getting violated I’m going to stop it at all costs…!
All of this would have been embarrassing to say out loud, so I typed it all.
Sasamisan: And oniichan, show a bit more resistance! You idiot! Pevert! Hmph, just go ahead and fall in love with a game character and get married or whatever! I don’t care at all! That’s all I came to say, you damn horny f(inappropriate language deleted)!!
“S-Sasami-san… Sasami-san is in the game…!! And she’s being a cute tsundere and abusing me… ahh, ahhhh…!!”
Kamiomi’s affection points towards Sasamisan have increased by 500!
Five hundred?! It’s not like we were doing a minigame, and we weren’t even companions so why the hell did his affection points go up?! Ugyah, don’t come towards me don’t hug me you’re still completely naked gyahhhh it’s a game but this feels so disgusting aghhhhh don’t get any closer you damn pervert pervert exhibitionist!!
“Hooray! Now I can play this game together with Sasami-san!! I welcome the opportunity… let’s go on an adventure in this world together and then get married and make a happy family together! It’s a game, so it doesn’t matter if we’re brother and sister, right?! Ufufufu~~!”
Kamiomi has sent Sasami-san a “companion” request. Do you accept?
(1)Accept.
(2)Refuse.
“Option two! Option two dammit! I refuse! I refuse from now until the end of time! Who the hell wants to do that with her brother?!”
You were unable to refuse.
You and Kamiomi have become companions!
“Why the hell?!”
As I stood there completely flustered, Tsurugi looked at me…
“………”
And with a serious expression, she fell into thought as if she had just realized something.
TRANSLATOR’S NOTES
(1) Onigiri is a Japanese rice ball.
(2) Late 1800s.
(3) Girl game – the kind of 18+ dating sims that Tsurugi likes playing.
VOLUME 1
Chapter 11: Nurse’s Office: No Minors Allowed
A dozen delinquents stood in Tsurugi and company’s way. No matter how you thought about it, these delinquents probably had something to do with Tsurugi (she was dressed in a biker gang’s jacket, after all), so all of the delinquents were staring at her silently.
”Special Event// New Students Bullied by the Delinquent Upperclassmen” has been activated!
“This game is just getting insane…”
Kagami looked unhappy, but the delinquents didn’t mind the fishy way in which Kagami and the others were acting. They just continued to talk as they were programmed to.
Delinquent A: We’ve heard about you… you say you’re a banchou?
Delinquent B: But you know, if you come to this school you gotta obey the rules at ‘Takamagahara Academy.’ Underclassmen bow down to upperclassmen. Got it?
Delinquent C: How ‘bout you get on your knees and pledge your loyalty to us first?
The delinquents smiled as they closed in.
Delinquent B: We’re not doin’ this cuz we hate you or anything. It’s training, got it? Shaking down innocent passerbys, rampaging around the opening ceremonies… gotta teach you a lesson so you feel sorry about your actions, right?
“Like this, it seems like oneesan is really a character in one of those manga about delinquents. Ahh, no matter how properly I try to live, just having one delinquent relative makes my future bleak indeed…”
Tsurugi: Shut up.
Tsurugi completely ignored the delinquents and pushed the “Help” button on screen, beginning to look up a few things. Each of the three Yagami sisters sure just went at her own pace…
Tsurugi: This is bad… if a character “dies,” then you have to “revive” him as soon as possible or else he is “terminated.” And just like how that sounds, the character would disappear forever. And the longer a character remains “dead,” the harder it is to successfully “revive” him… we really don’t have the time to deal with these idiots…
“W-We can’t run away?”
Tama seemed nervous and looked at my brother, who was still being carried by Kagami.
By the way, my brother’s character had died, so he was pretty free now and was going around serving everyone drinks. Geez, he has no sense of urgency at all…
“Funyaa. It’s useless to try and run. These events will be forced to continue until the battle ends. The only two choices are to be completely defeated or to beat up all those delinquents.”
Tsurugi: Well then, looks like we got to kill all our enemies quickly here.
Tsurugi readied her wooden sword.
Tsurugi: If you’re “terminated,” then you can’t make a new character for a while… so maybe this “enemy” is trying to terminate all of us so we can’t meddle in Yamata no Orochi SNS anymore… It’s still unclear who our enemy is, and whether the gods have anything to do with this, but that’s even more of a reason to prevent the death of our characters, who can interface with this world and help us investigate.
After that, Tsurugi faced the gang of delinquents, her biker’s jacket flying in the wind.
Tsurugi: Don’t think you small fry can do anything against this cute little Tsurugi-chan. Come at me, I’ll finish you off quick!
Delinquent A: Interesting… you guys, let’s go!”
Delinquent B: Don’t underestimate us!
Delinquent C: Hyaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhh!!!
The delinquents let out completely clichéd shouts of fury and ran at them.
HP and SP meters now appeared over each of their heads, making their statuses easy to read.
We were in a wide hallway, but the delinquents didn’t seem to have any plan whatsoever and just made a mad dash at the Yagami sisters one by one.
“Uwahh… during battle everything spins around and around…”
Kagami seemed a bit troubled.
“For someone who likes to take it easy, dealing with things that go this fast is a bit…”
Tsurugi: Kagami, Tama, get back!
The younger sisters had yet to get used to the game, and Tsurugi ordered them back. She sent her blade right into the delinquent at the very front. Her attack was extremely swift.
Tsurugi’s attack! Her wooden sword thrusts forward sharply!
Delinquent A takes 75 damage!
Delinquent A: Gyahghh!!
With that one attack, the delinquent’s HP gauge was completely depleted, and he burst apart in midair… and vanished.
An unnatural-looking treasure box was left in the hallway, and with a “funyaa,” Kagami went over and opened it. There was a “blood-soaked onigiri (1)” inside.
As her little sister lazily went around and picked up the treasure and the gold which had been scattered about, Tsurugi was showing just how ferocious she could be.
There were a lot of delinquents, but Tsurugi’s power was not to be trifled with… she was cleaning up all the enemies incredibly quickly.
Tsurugi: I defeated gate guard-chan and my level went up… yes, there’s no way I can lose now! I made a promise to meet gate guard-chan at lunch, after all…! I’m gonna beat you all to bits and then go confess my love to gate guard-chan!
“Nee-san, please stop indirectly sending up death flags.”
Kagami was opening up another treasure box. There was a “blood-soaked headband” inside. Why was every damn thing soaked in blood?
Tsurugi: But there’s seriously no end to this… how many delinquents are in this damn school?!
“Funyaa. Seems there’s an unexpected large number of bad eggs at this school, doesn’t it?”
Tsurugi: Even though the headmaster was wearing cat ears and looked like she came right out of a fairy tale…
“There’s a back side to every fairy tale too… Tama, I’m leaving sensei to you.”
Kagami left my brother to Tama and joined the battle.
“I’ve gotten use to their movements… it seems these delinquents move in patterns. I can deal with them now too.”
Just like she said, Kagami dodged as a delinquent came down on her with his weapon, and slowly moved behind him. After that, she held the thick syringe she was holding aloft, and…
Kagami’s attack!
Shhhlp! Her huge syringe plunges into Delinquent C’s heart, causing him immense pain and pouring narcotics into him! Delinquent C screams, clawing at his throat, and convulses on the floor like a fish before his eyes roll back into his head and he faints!
Tsurugi: Why was that syringe attack’s description so detailed?! That’s seriously scary!
“I don’t know. But he’s only fainted from the narcotics, so I leave the rest to neesan.”
Tsurugi: I really think you’d die if you get narcotics injected right into your heart though…
Tsurugi grumbled and dealt the finishing blow to the delinquent.
For a little while longer, the two sister team wreaked havoc on the delinquents.
Kagami would inject the enemy with narcotics, and Tsurugi would finish him off with her wooden sword.
Their efficiency went up, the threat level went down, and the number of surviving enemies quickly diminished.
“Oh.”
But that couldn’t continue forever.
Kagami sighed while still holding onto her syringe.
“I’ve run out of narcotics. I won’t be able to fight anymore.”
Tsurugi: But it looks like you can replace that with another item you have. So how about you dissolve my tobacco in some water… seems like if you add a lot of sugar it’ll taste like chocolate too.
“I don’t want any chocolates that would kill you instantly if you ate them. This isn’t going to work… it seems that if you don’t go to the ‘Laboratory’ and ‘mix’ the ingredients together then you can’t refill this syringe.”
Tsurugi: Ugh, that’s inconvenient… huh?!
As if the game had gotten angry at these two sisters who were just having a relaxed conversation, the background music changed, and the atmosphere became eerie, signaling that a boss character or something like that was about to appear.
The screen flashed red, and all the delinquents looked back at the center of the hallway.
Delinquent F: Ohh, Toshi-kun!
Delinquent G: Toshi-kun’s come! This battle is ours!
This Toshi-kun or whatever was a muscular giant, whose purple pompadour towered above his head like some lethal weapon.
He had on leather clothes with a lot of spikes sprouting out, and was also wearing sunglasses.
He looked like the kind of guy who had no interest in anything except his bike and picking fights.
Toshi-kun pretty much ignored all the other delinquents and rushed straight at Tsurugi.
Tsurugi: Hwah?!
He was so much faster than the other delinquents, and Tsurugi had let down her guard, so she was completely caught by surprise by his tackle and sent flying.
Her small body tumbled down the hallway, and her HP gauge went down.
Tsurugi: Impressive… so you’re the chief of this gang of delinquents, huh?
Toshi-kun: Looks like you’ve been taking care of my subordinates… but I won’t permit any more mischief past this… prepare to see Hell.
Toshi-kun spoke in a harsh tone.
The other delinquents surrounded them at a distance to watch the fight. It seemed like this was a pretty tough opponent for Tsurugi at her current level. She went through all her techniques and somehow dodged her enemy’s attacks, but even if she hit him with her wooden sword, her opponent’s HP wouldn’t drop by very much.
On the other hand, her opponent swung around a big wooden plank, and if that plank even touched Tsurugi her HP would fall by a lot.
“Neesan!”
Kagami seemed panicked and was clicking all over the screen.
“I’ll try some healing magic… ummm… it’s this one!”
Kagami used “Animal Heal”!
”Animal Heal” has no effect on humans!
Tsurugi: Uwaah, so you seriously can’t heal humans?! What a damn useless vet!
“What?! Vet is a respected, wonderful job! Please apologize, neesan!”
Tsurugi: You’re scolding me?! Uwah, crap, my HP is almost zero!
While reacting to her idiot little sister, Tsurugi seemed to have gotten into quite a pinch.
And then came the icing on the cake.
Toshi-kun’s special attack! Toshi-kun Charge!
Tsurugi’s “wooden sword” was destroyed!
Tsurugi: My weapon got destroyed?! That’s possible?! Crap, I won’t be able to do any damage barehanded! I’m gonna lose at this rate!
Toshi-kun’s special attack! Toshi-kun Bear Hug!
Tsurugi cannot move!
Tsurugi: Ugyah, I feel like I’m in a bit of a bind! Someone help me!
Tsurugi was being hugged by Toshi-kun and squeezed to death.
There was a huge size difference between the two of them, so it almost looked like a parent hugging his daughter.
But this skill would break spines if someone tried it for real, so good boys and girls should refrain from trying it.
As an added bonus, Tsurugi was pretty constricted so she couldn’t do anything.
She couldn’t run away, she couldn’t attack… all she could do was watch her HP go down and down…
“Tsurugi-nee!”
Tama seemed to not be able to stand still anymore, and rushed at Toshi-kun after dropping my brother.
“Hmph! Don’t do mean things to Tsurugi-nee!”
Tama’s attack!
Rip!
Toshi-kun: … Aghh!!
The carving knife stabs deep into Toshi-kun’s side. His liver is torn up and his innards are damaged to the point where blood flows out of Toshi-kun’s mouth. In the blink of an eye, his clothes, his skin, and then the hallway becomes painted red with fresh blood.
Toshi-kun’s face pales and he groans.
Toshi-kun: G-Gurgle… she stabbed me… she stabbed me…! … Aghh!!
The strength seeps from Toshi-kun’s body and he collapses. The blood doesn’t stop…
Tsurugi: Seriously, why are the descriptions for your attacks so vivid?! Although you did save me back there!
Tsurugi was released and landed on the floor. She gave a disgusted look down at Toshi-kun, who was now breathing raggedly.
At that point, a light flashed in the middle of the hallway, and a new character appeared and rushed to Toshi-kun’s side.
Akemi: Kyaahh!! Toshi-kuuun!!
Toshi-kun: A-… Akemi… heh, sorry…
Akemi: Waaaah, who did such a terrible thing… murderers!!!!!!!!!!
Toshi-kun: Don’t cry, Akemi… it’s fine like this… I’ve always known that one day I’d make a mistake like this… but it’s a shame I have to die like a dog…
Akemi: No! Please don’t die Toshi-kuun!! T-Toshi-kun is nothing like a do-“
“Hyah!”
Tama’s attack!
Akemi’s neck is cut and huge amounts of blood spurt up to the ceiling! Akemi looks at Tama with a complete look of disbelief on her face and collapses to the floor. Seeing his lover die within his arms, Toshi-kun begins to cry…
“Take this!”
Tama’s attack!”
Toshi-kun died!
Tsurugi: What are you doing?!
As expected, Tsurugi seemed shocked and rushed over to her little sister.
Tsurugi: You killed them without any hesitation! Even though it looked like this was turning out to be a heartwarming dramatic scene! And you even killed this Akemi-chan who we didn’t know anything about!
“?? Tsurugi-nee, this is a game and these are the enemies, right?
Tsurugi: Yeah, that’s definitely true! But you’re seriously scary!
Delinquent X: Whaaa?! T-They… they killed them… they’re monsters!!
Delinquent H: Don’t run, you all! We’ll avenge Toshi-kun’s death!
There were those who ran away lightning quick, but it seemed there were also some delinquents who were resolved to stay and battle to the death.
Tsurugi sighed.
Tsurugi: Well then, I guess Tama’s pure desire to save me turned into an alteration and gave Tama’s character a temporary powerup… that’s a bit underhanded and I admit I don’t like it very much… but we’re not here to have fun. So maybe I’ll get serious too?
Tsurugi took my brother from Kagami and gave a wicked smile.
Tsurugi: My wooden sword broke… so I’ll just equip something else!
Tsurugi has equipped “loser”!
“Huh?! You can equip that?! One of your companion’s corpses?!”
Tsurugi: Fufufu!
Tsurugi let out a strange laugh, and then took giant swings with my brother to mow down the delinquents. The delinquents were knocked flying, broke through the windows and flew outside, or had their entire HP gauge drained in one attack and exploded.
Tsurugi: This is nice. Looks like Tsukuyomi is more useful when he’s dead… let’s cut through like this!
“Looks like now anything and everything goes in this game, doesn’t it…?”
Kagami grumbled, an amazed look on her face.
@@@@@@
After conquering that mountain of corpses lying in rivers of blood, Tsurugi and the others paid gold at a magical portal, which teleported them to the nurse’s office (maybe it was already getting spread around that those delinquents were now sinking in a sea of blood, but there were no more unwanted interruptions on the way there).
The nurse’s office was also in a classical Japanese style, and it almost felt like they had taken a medical exam room from the Meiji Era (2) and made it larger.
Apart from the wooden walls and the floor and the ceiling, there were countless numbers of beds.
There were plenty of nurses wearing what looked like classical Japanese versions of modern nurse uniforms, and there were also doctors milling about.
Tsurugi and the others put my brother on one of those beds, and everyone breathed a sigh of relief.
Tsurugi: Geez, looks like we finally made it.
Tsurugi took a seat in one of the visitor chairs, her legs swinging freely back and forth.
Tsurugi: Anyways, I’ll have to go buy a weapon later… that wooden sword is toast. But looks like we have a lot of money saved up now, so I can probably get a really nice sword or axe…
“We’ve also gained a few levels since we earned quite a lot of experience points… it seems those delinquents were tougher than they looked. Players who just started school should not have been able to defeat them.”
Kagami also looked satisfied, and Tsurugi nodded.
Things have gone smoothly, but it’d still be annoying if Tsukuyomi dies on us every time something happens. We’ll have to toughen this guy up too… actually, first we have to revive him. How do you do that again?
“Please wait, I’ll read the explanation…”
Kagami clicked on an icon next to the bed, and read the words that appeared on her screen.
“Hmm… it seems you can ask the doctors here to handle everything, or we can participate in a minigame. But it also seems that it’s preferable to choose the latter if we’re here, since we will earn experience points and we don’t have to pay lots of money to the doctors.”
Tsurugi: We’re in a school but the nurse’s office costs money…
“What kind of minigame? Tama wants to play too! Tama wants to make Paparin all better again!”
“I’m not sure, but… life is about trying things out, so shall we try?”
“Okay!”
Tama seemed to cheer up, and Kagami began to advise her while reading the instructions.
At the same time, the screen changed.
”Minigame//Naughty Nurse’s Office… ☆” has been activated!
A sketchy pink light shone and the background music changed to something that sounded pretty dirty.
“It’s dirty?! This is quite strange… neesan, did you use an alteration to make things like this? Earlier I had my clothes stripped off easily too…”
Tsurugi: I wouldn’t try a pointless alteration like this… I don’t know. Maybe the perverted side of me did this unconsciously.
Tsurugi seemed a bit proud (why?) and smiled.
“Umm…”
The same thing appeared on all three siblings’ screens.
In the middle was my brother lying on the bed.
Around him were scattered a bunch of unnatural looking things… syringes, medicine capsules, apples, bottles with skull and crossbones on them, and for some reason a whip and a candle…
“It seems like in this minigame you have to try all these items around here within the time limit and revive sensei… in other words, you have to nurse him back to health.”
“N-Nurse?”
Tama seemed bewildered, but Kagami urged her on.
“Tama’s screen is the only one which shows the time limit… so it’s fine, just hurry up and try things out. Even if you fail neesan and I are still here… so don’t worry about it.”
“O-Okay! I-I’ll nurse him… umm…”
Tama found a wash basin with ice water in it, and she put in a towel. After the towel had been plenty chilled, she put the towel on my brother’s forehead.
“H-How’s this?!”
Tsurugi: Nah, that’s what you would do if he had a cold… Tsukuyomi is dead right now…
Kamiomi: Thank you, Tama-san. Because of you I feel refreshed now.
Kamiomi’s affection points towards Tama have increased by 20!
Tsurugi: Affection points?! What the hell?!
Tsurugi was overly sensitive to galge (3) lingo, and so she immediately reacted.
Kagami carefully read the instruction’s manual.
“Hmm… it seems that in this minigame, the primary objective isn’t to try realistic approaches to healing, but rather to be a devoted nurse and gain affection points. Seems like you can do anything you want and the game won’t fail you on this minigame.”
Tsurugi: But I didn’t even know there was this affection point parameter… does something happen if you get that parameter high enough?! Does something pervy happen?!
“Please stop getting so excited only when it comes to things like this… umm, please wait a moment. Ahh, if you raise affection points, when your characters graduate, you can get married, or in certain cases can also make children. And then you can use those children as your next characters…”
Tsurugi: Marriage?! Making children…?!
“The affection points automatically go up or down normally during the game. But it seems if you heal someone, or if you play a minigame like this and get closer to someone, these affection points go up by a lot. So neesan, who was swinging around sensei’s corpse and ridiculing him like that, probably has the lowest affection points at this point.”
Tsurugi: Dammit, if I knew we could make babies I would have been nicer to him!
You know, just because you can have children, that doesn’t mean they’re going to show an image of you making babies or make it into a minigame or something like that… you understand that, right?
I felt a bit conflicted here… but all I could do was watch.
“Next is umm… the thermometer?”
As the older sisters talked with each other, Tama was trying her very best to be a good nurse.
“Okay, open your mouth wide and say ‘ahhh.’ Let’s check your temperature~~ ☆ .“
Kamiomi: I understand. Tama-san is so kind.
Kamiomi’s affection points towards Tama have increased by 10!
“… Hm? The last few things sensei has said weren’t said out loud but were displayed on screen…”
Kagami realized that and looked at my brother’s screen.
And then a look of complete shock appeared on her face.
My brother’s screen was showing something different from the other three screens; indeed, the scene on his screen could have been taken right out of a galge.
Right in front of him was displayed an image of Tama (in a maid outfit), and the game gave him choices every time she did something.
Tama took the thermometer out and cocked her head to the side.
“Oh my? Paparin, you don’t have a temperature!”
How do you respond to Tama’s actions?
(1) Thanks for worrying about me.
(2) How the hell am I supposed to have a temperature?! I’m a damn corpse, you idiot!
(3) Googoo gaga, nurse me more pureaaaze!!
My brother picked choice (1). And his affection points towards Tama increased.
“I see… so if someone you don’t like tries to interact with you or nurses you, you can just pick the coldest replies and your affection points for each other won’t go up by much… also, option three is seriously screwed in the head!”
Kagami seemed shaken, but then began to whisper.
“This is troubling… considering sensei’s personality, no matter what anybody does to him he’ll never pick the cruel response… and in the end, he’ll marry the person who he has the highest affection points for. So only one of us can marry sensei… well, it’s not like I care though.”
“G-Getting married to Paparin…?”
It seemed Tama finally had found the time to listen to what her sisters were saying. Picking up the word “marriage” with her sharp ears, she began to fidget around and sway her body back and forth.
“Ehehe…”
I didn’t know what she was imagining, but her face was now bright red.
“I-In that case, Tama… is going to try her best too! … But Paparin is dead, so Tama doesn’t know what to do… for now Tama just wants to bring him back to life.”
“If that’s what you want, Tama, pick up that item over there.”
“This?”
Tama followed Kagami’s advice (?), and picked up the bottle with the skull-and-crossbones on it.
“Take that and sprinkle it all over sensei.”
“Okay!”
Splash!
Tama has splashed extremely thick strong acid on you.
Your entire body is hideously burned and you collapse. How do you respond?
(1) Everyone makes mistakes sometimes. Don’t worry about it, Tama-san.
(2) JA*#&@K*@Q!?!
(3) Hah hah hah… more… splash more on me!
“The choices are now so sad! Kagami-nee tricked Tama?!”
“Whatever could you mean?”
After that, Tama continued to be tricked by Kagami, pouring ice water over my brother, rubbing mustard into his wounds, hitting him with the whip… My brother was picking the nicest responses in return, but since Tama was inflicting what would normally be fatal wounds on him, his affection points for her couldn’t be getting too high.
And after a while of that, Tama’s time ran out.
“Well then, seems like it’s my turn next.”
“Hmph! Women are so cruel!”
Kagami raised her hand, while Tama drank a juice box next to her with tears streaming from her eyes.
“I am a vet… which means I’m in a medical profession, and so all the parameters necessary to heal others should be quite high in my character. I also have the requisite knowledge, so…”
Kagami used a healing charm to resurrect my brother, and then healed him perfectly with blood transfusions and medicine.
My brother’s coloring returned, and his body which had been destroyed by Tama went back to normal.
Kamiomi: Ohh, what tremendous skill. Kagami-san, you saved me.
My brother’s affection points went up insanely high. To something like 70.
My brother was finally able to sit up in bed, and Kagami went over to him. She put a hand on her forehead, taking his temperature.
“If you ever feel sick, just let me know. Fufu, you sure slept for a long time, sleepyhead sensei…”
Tsurugi: You’re way more clever than I expected, aren’t you?! Acting innocent like that…!!
Tsurugi yelled at Kagami as Kagami steadily earned more and more affection points.
“Sway whatever you want. I-It’s not like I want to raise sensei’s affection points and marry him or anything. One of our companions was not able to battle anymore, and even though I’m a healer I haven’t been able to do much until now, so I thought I would just try here… right~~ ☆?”
Tsurugi: “right~~ ☆?” my ass! Dammit, you’re always so emotionless that when you act so kind towards a weak person like this it feels really moe moe! Ugh, Kagami, you’re my wife!
“No, I’m your sister…”
Tsurugi got excited and hugged her little sister, while Kagami seemed a bit at a loss and tried to shove her older sister off.
“Ah, my time is up.”
Kagami was in the process of cutting an apple for my brother and feeding him when her time ran out. Her affection points were around 300… (by the way, Tama’s affection points were at around negative 100).
Tsurugi: Alrighty.
Tsurugi’s character on screen raised her hand high.
Tsurugi: The star player has arrived! My turn!
“Eh? But sensei’s character has already been revived and is at full health now…”
Tsurugi: Shut up! I’m the main heroine here! You can’t just go for the ending with the convenient girl who’s only nice to you when you’re weak! Also, since the nurse’s office is usually so empty and has a bed, it’s one of the two best spots for pervy scenes to happen! The other one being the gym equipment room! You understand what I’m trying to say?!
“This is all neesan ever thinks about…”
Kagami looked bewildered as her older sister’s character didn’t seem to be able to hold it in anymore and began to strip off her biker’s jacket.
“What in the world are you doing?!”
As expected, Tsurugi ignored her sister’s attempts to stop her, and jumped onto the bed in her birthday suit.
Tsurugi: Don’t interfere, Kagami! I’m going to get his affections point up and I’m going to make everyone my wife and gate guard-chan and Tsukuyomi and my little sisters are all going to snuggle up to me and we’re going to live in happiness and surge right for a harem ending! Tsukuyomi, you strip too!
Kamiyomi’s “old rag” has been removed from his equipment list!
“Why is it so easy in this game to take people’s clothes off?! Stop, neesan, there are children present! Aghh… t-this is… in a place like that…”
“I’m scaaared, I’m scaaared. Tsurugi-nee and Paparin are naked and they’re doing something weiiird…”
“Stop traumatizing elementary schoolers!”
Kagami panicked and covered Tama’s eyes with her hands in real life.
And I was at the limit of my patience.
–
Sasamisan: WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING TO ONIICHAN?!?!?!
–
The nurse’s office fell into silence.
Even Tsurugi who was acting completely out of bounds… even my brother who was getting his affection points for Tsurugi raised forcefully and yet didn’t seem to be sad about that at all and was squirming around asking for more (resist more dammit)… even the panicking Kagami, even the sobbing Tama… everyone simultaneously lost their ability to speak.
“Y-You are…!!”
Tsurugi covered herself with the bedsheets and cocked her head to the side in puzzlement.
“Don’t tell me… Sasami?!”
In the real world, Tsurugi turned and looked at me, and I gave a nod back.
In order to best be able to offer support or interference if something happened, I had worked hard to transport my character from far away to “Takamagahara Academy.”
My entire body was decorated with rare Divine Beasts Equipment, and I had a huge magical weapon on my back. I walked over to the others, my metallic armored boots making clinking noises as I walked.
Tsurugi: I see, so you also started playing Yamata no Orochi SNS… also, your HP and SP are really high…
“……….”
I couldn’t explain that very easily, so I decided to just ignore it.
I began to quickly type a message.
Sasamisan: I thought I would just stay quiet and watch… but even if we’re in a game, when a family member is getting violated I’m going to stop it at all costs…!
All of this would have been embarrassing to say out loud, so I typed it all.
Sasamisan: And oniichan, show a bit more resistance! You idiot! Pevert! Hmph, just go ahead and fall in love with a game character and get married or whatever! I don’t care at all! That’s all I came to say, you damn horny f(inappropriate language deleted)!!
“S-Sasami-san… Sasami-san is in the game…!! And she’s being a cute tsundere and abusing me… ahh, ahhhh…!!”
Kamiomi’s affection points towards Sasamisan have increased by 500!
Five hundred?! It’s not like we were doing a minigame, and we weren’t even companions so why the hell did his affection points go up?! Ugyah, don’t come towards me don’t hug me you’re still completely naked gyahhhh it’s a game but this feels so disgusting aghhhhh don’t get any closer you damn pervert pervert exhibitionist!!
“Hooray! Now I can play this game together with Sasami-san!! I welcome the opportunity… let’s go on an adventure in this world together and then get married and make a happy family together! It’s a game, so it doesn’t matter if we’re brother and sister, right?! Ufufufu~~!”
Kamiomi has sent Sasami-san a “companion” request. Do you accept?
(1)Accept.
(2)Refuse.
“Option two! Option two dammit! I refuse! I refuse from now until the end of time! Who the hell wants to do that with her brother?!”
You were unable to refuse.
You and Kamiomi have become companions!
“Why the hell?!”
As I stood there completely flustered, Tsurugi looked at me…
“………”
And with a serious expression, she fell into thought as if she had just realized something.
TRANSLATOR’S NOTES
(1) Onigiri is a Japanese rice ball.
(2) Late 1800s.
(3) Girl game – the kind of 18+ dating sims that Tsurugi likes playing.
