VOLUME 2
PART 2: YATA NO KAGAMI
Chapter 12: Together with the You Inside the Mirror
By the time I had arrived at Konohana Sakuya Academy, everything had already ended.
–
I have to say, I was being surprisingly carefree about this situation. However, you could say I just didn’t have very much confidence in my idea, in the conclusion I had reached, so those doubts made me decide to ask Kagami about what was going on.
I couldn’t get through to her on the phone or through text, so I ended up going back with Tama to their apartment (it was near our house, in a building called the Corpse Ahakihara) (1). However, even though it was already pitch black outside it seemed that Kagami had yet to come home.
Tsurugi was there though, but didn’t seem to want to butt in.
“Ahh, I’m kinda bad with youthful crap like this, so can you just go handle it for me? Thanks.”
She just left me with that nonsensical message while brushing her teeth and chased me away.
“Don’t stay out too late, okay?!” “Hmph!” Tsurugi tossed that warning at Tama as we left, and at that point I decided to stop running around from place to place.
I had reached a conclusion.
If my line of thinking wasn’t mistaken, then Kagami was at Konohana Sakuya Academy.
We were “only friends at school,” right Kagami?
“Ugh…”
The empty schoolhouse at night looked a bit like a haunted house, but after I sneaked in, I realized that “haunted house” would be putting it too lightly.
I smelled blood. Enough to make me choke.
I don’t know if it was some kind of alteration or something, but there was nothing blocking my path. Neither the school gate, nor the glass door at the top of the entrance stairs were locked, and I entered the building with no resistance.
I changed into my indoor shoes at the shoebox, and walked through the quiet hallways.
I felt dizzy.
This was the same uneasy feeling I got back when I had been a shut-in and tried to walk outside.
It was the nausea I got when exposed to a world that had been horribly and selfishly twisted by the other gods and their alterations.
It felt like I was wearing glasses way too strong for me and trying to walk across the deck of a swaying ship.
Everything I saw, everything I heard, everything I touched…
None of it made sense, but just twirled around me in an eddy of ill will, assaulting me.
This was wrong.
Anything and everything was wrong.
My swirling emotions flickered nauseatingly in front of my eyes.
“Ugheeehhhh…”
I couldn’t help dashing into a nearby bathroom and vomiting everything into the Western-style toilet inside.
“Ueeh, ehh, oehhhhhh…”
After my stomach had been completely emptied, I stood up again.
I washed my mouth at the fountain and smacked myself on the cheek, trying to get myself back into the game.
I had to try my best.
I had to try my best…
“……”
I felt myself completely drained after having vomited, but there was no real problem.
I went out of the bathroom and walked around the school, checking to make sure that everything was over.
And I found many strange monsters lying about, looking completely out-of-place in this normal schoolhouse.
There were a lot of monsters which just looked like huge versions of animals or reptiles, but there were also ones that looked like a huge eyeball in the middle of a pile of meat. I also saw a vaulting horse and a set of hurdles which had sprouted a pair of arms and legs. There really wasn’t any consistency.
These were the gods.
There were also some that were still moving.
I was desperately trying to control the power of the Supreme God, so maybe they saw me as just a normal girl, but some of them made scary faces and came at me menacingly.
Ridiculous.
Did they not know who I was?
“Don’t…”
I tried not to get angry.
No matter how childish of an emotion it was, I had to prioritize that over everything else.
If I couldn’t control the power of the Supreme God, then the world would twist.
If I got angry, got sad, got happy…
I had to put all those emotions under my control and manage them to minimize any effect I might have on the world.
That was my duty.
But.
“Don’t… make me… angry…”
Mustering every ounce of patience I had, I managed to get that one sentence out.
But with just that, all the gods around me vanished.
They had run away.
They were frightened of the imperial wrath of the Supreme God.
“Now that I think about it, this was all pretty simple.”
I talked while I walked.
I had no idea where Kagami was.
She might’ve already gone home.
I wanted to see her, but I didn’t know how I was supposed to look her in the face.
But, I needed to tell her how I felt.
I wanted to apologize… and at least tell her the truth.
Tell the truth to my clumsy, awkward friend.
“It was the same with the Valentine’s Day Tragedy, but all the gods want to curry favor with the Supreme God. After all, the more the Supreme God values you and likes you, the higher your divinity becomes.”
All the gods obey the Supreme God.
The Supreme God was the king of the nation, so to speak.
To the other gods, that was the absolute rule. And so, their ambitions and attempts at flattery would be remarkable.
But, right now, the Supreme God was an idiot like me.
I had forgotten the fact that I had the power of the Supreme God, and wished for a friend.
And then, I chose a single girl, Yagami Kagami, as my friend.
At that point, the gods became jealous.
To be the only person receiving the affection of the King was a recipe for disaster.
Even human history has proven that point over and over again.
That poor soul who was chosen as the Supreme God’s object of affection would be showered with the jealousy, harassment, and interference from everyone around her.
I’m sure Kagami had been beaten down while I wasn’t looking.
I just never noticed.
I remembered the old lady from the cafeteria, who had tripped for what seemed like no reason at all and thrown all the food on her tray onto Kagami.
That was the beginning.
That explained everything.
After that, Kagami fell victim to similar spots of bad luck and even greater disasters.
She wasn’t being attacked by humans, but rather by the Myriad Gods who had built this world.
They were the world itself, you could say.
Potted plants would fall on her head as she walked, cats and dogs would attack her… when she walked past a construction site, a ruptured water pipe would shower her with water, or the steel frame itself would come crashing down on her.
It was like Kagami was the main character in a slapstick comedy manga. Anything and everything in the world was out to get her.
They were all trying to drag her from her position of being the “Supreme God’s friend.”
No, in fact, her life was even in danger.
I remembered back to the time I saw her completely bloody that one night.
She had fought.
On the outside, she acted like nothing was wrong and was a friend to me during these “normal,” happy times, but on the backside she was fighting all along.
And of course she would only want to be my friend at school.
That was Kagami’s limit.
It was the best compromise she could come up with. If I innocently treated Kagami like a friend outside as well, then the entire world would begin to attack her there as well.
It took all Kagami’s strength already to keep peace within the school.
She didn’t hate me, and she wasn’t rejecting me.
Instead, clumsy Kagami had taken on a completely thankless role, trying to hide everything from naïve little me so I wouldn’t feel guilty.
She didn’t like it, and found it all very annoying, but she was trying her very best all the same.
@@@@@@
“Kagami…”
I just walked where my feet were taking me, and finally made it.
Made it to the First Year, Right-Hand-Side classroom which had been an important part of my everyday life, but would only continue to be for less than a week.
In the middle of that classroom, Kagami was sitting at her own desk.
The moonlight streaming in from the window highlighted her doll-like figure.
She was completely bloodied.
Today, she had been beaten black and blue too.
She was probably getting wounded day after day.
Her breath turned white in front of her face, and she looked to be in pain as she lay there with her eyes shut. I called out to her.
“Kagami!”
Kagami dazily opened her eyes.
And then, she looked at me with a hint of surprise, but as always spoke to me in a completely unaffectionate tone.
“Oh my, what’s wrong, Sasami-san? Isn’t it a bit too early for you to come to school?”
“You too. Aren’t you staying after just a bit too late?”
Here was my better friend, who I had just started forming a relationship with and who always brought out my sarcastic side.
“Didn’t you have plans today?”
I slowly walked towards her until I was right in front of her.
I was close to tears, so I tried my best to look scary.
“Y-You were walking with a classmate, right? I thought you were going to hang out with her somewhere. That was Kagami’s friend?”
“I do not have any friends.”
Kagami muttered that and I heard her chuckle.
It was a pretty obnoxious attitude, but her voice was so weak and hoarse that I couldn’t bring myself to get angry.
“It seemed that she had been possessed by evil gods, so I drove them all away. I guess their plan was to settle down inside real people, become friends with you, and then heighten their own divinities… the evil gods, I mean.”
Kagami sounded pretty helpless as she said that.
“They would forcibly alter the person’s psyche and try to make that person into an ideal friend for you. And you’re just a naïve child, so I’m sure you would’ve been very happy with that.”
Her voice was dripping with sarcasm.
“You would have probably been satisfied with even a fake friend like that. And, stupidly tempted by the evil gods, you would slowly alter the entire world down the wrong path. That would be a problem.”
“You were worried for me, weren’t you…?”
“Are you listening to me? Are you really that big of an idiot?”
“Thanks, Kagami.”
I already understood everything.
It’s exactly as you said.
I was… seriously… seriously an idiot before, Kagami.
I forgot about the power of the Supreme God inside of me, and foolishly desired to have friends, to have a normal life.
I didn’t even try to guess what kind of effect my wishes would have on my surroundings.
Kagami got wrapped up in it all… she got really hurt, and all for me.
“Sorry, I’m sorry…”
Hm? I can’t see in front of me.
That’s strange…
“Why are you crying? Are you a child?”
I could hear panic in Kagami’s voice.
“No need to worry. Everything has been cleaned up. I made sure to tell all the gods inside the school to not do anything foolish, disciplined them, and pummeled the ones who tried to disobey. The gods inside the school will no longer try anything.”
Kagami had a proud look on her face.
“From now on, if you make friends, you can rest assured that they won’t just have been the result of alterations caused by evil gods. They will be true friends you made with you rown strength. So don’t worry, and please enjoy your bright, fun school life.”
She didn’t sound like she cared at all.
“Please excuse me from continuing this role though. I’m exhausted. Ahh, everything was so annoying. I finally get to sleep now… I really was sleep deprived, you know. Makes me almost want to ask for some kind of compensation. Having to work that hard for no reason… Sasami-san? Are you listening to me?”
“K-K-Kagamiiii…”
“Gyah?!”
I hugged her and pushed her to the ground.
Kagami was pretty weak right now, so she fell right over onto the cold classroom floor and looked up at the ceiling.
I buried my face in her chest and began to sniffle.
Just like a child.
Ugh, geez, I feel a dam has broken somewhere… the tears won’t stop coming now.
Kagami flushed deep red and tried to push me off her.
“What are you doing…?! I’m not into that kind of thing, okay? Hey, stop pushing your face into me! You’ll get snot on me! That’s dirty! Also, I’m the one full of holes right now… you should treat the injured with more care!”
“Kyagyabiii…”
I didn’t listen to a word she said.
“I’m so sorry! I-I was an idiot…! You won’t have to suffer anymore! I’m going to tell off all those gods who are bothering you! I’ll make sure you don’t get hurt anymore! So, Kagami… please… after this, I want to… forever…”
“Ugh, stop being so noisy, you whore!”
Kagami called me the worst thing I’ve ever been called in my life.
But I didn’t back down.
I just continued hugging Kagami and sobbing into her chest.
“Kagamiii… I’m sorry… sob… I really love you…”
“Ugh, you’re disgusting. You pig! Die!”
I’m sure Kagami didn’t know what to do either.
Out of sheer shyness, I had said some horrible, foolish things to Kagami. Told her she was a loaner friend, that I needed someone like “Kagami or whatever,” said that she was just there for practice.
I had said that she wasn’t a real friend, but I was just using her as a stepladder to eventually making real friends.
And Kagami had taken my words completely at face value.
So, she was trying her best not so that I wouldn’t feel burdened or guilty about anything, to make an environment in which I felt like I could get “normal friends.”
She was trying her best to suppress the gods within the school, so that I wouldn’t consciously or unconsciously use the power of the Supreme God to cheat and make friends with a power outside of my own.
She had guessed that if that happened, I wouldn’t be happy about it.
But, Kagami.
Understanding me like that, taking on my pain and problems like that…
There really was only one word to describe a relationship like that.
“Kagami.”
I asked her one more time.
“Please, be my friend.”
Kagami stopped resisting.
Just like a broken doll.
Or, maybe, just like a baby who had just been born into the world.
I really loved this side of her.
She wasn’t used to receiving compliments from others, so she would go off track and turn others away, and would get misunderstood as a girl who rejected the company of others.
However, she really just felt lonely, and was clumsily trying her best for the sake of others…
I really like you.
Yeah, I definitely think I can grow to like you, more and more.
“I…”
Kagami began to mumble in a soft voice, as if she was talking to herself.
“In the past, I was a doll. A doll without a will. I was nothing more than a fabricated tool, tuned to perfection and able to carry any task out in the best way possible.”
Her beautifully voice rang poetically around the room.
“But I always felt incomplete. My heart was empty. I was just a lifeless machine, without any ability to cry. But even so, I wished to live an ‘average, normal’ life. Instead of an excellent doll who lived to kill or be killed, who carried out missions, I wanted to be a normal girl who could laugh and cry.”
I felt Kagami’s fingertips awkwardly touch me from behind.
“If my prayers could come true, then gods above, I wish to be human.”
I wasn’t a god though.
I was just a misshapen fake who was borrowing a god’s power.
I wanted to grant her wishes.
“I want to be a human. A stupid, weak, and yet warm human being.”
“Kagami…”
But I was a fool, so I couldn’t do much for her right now.
There was one thing I could do, though.
“You’re already warm.”
I softly embraced her.
Embraced this girl covered in blood.
In this empty classroom, illuminated by nothing but the moonlight.
We were enveloped by silence, by darkness, but also by warmth.
“I… see…”
Kagami blinked over and over again, but then gave me a small, relaxed smile.
Her smile was surprisingly beautiful.
“Will I be able to become human someday? Will I be able to… be your friend?”
“You will. Let’s… try hard together from now on, Kagami.”
This girl who used to be a doll a long time ago was probably very tired… she let out a long sigh, and then she closed her eyes while still clinging to me.
I could hear her breathing softly. She had fallen asleep.
“Good night, Kagami.”
Maybe I should just go to sleep like this too…
@@@@@@
I only had one week left in my first year of high school.
My youth was flying past me in the blink of an eye.
But, my new kind friend had set the stage for me, so I would try my very best to enjoy this time with her to its fullest.
I would laugh, would cry, would argue, and would play.
Together with the person inside the mirror who reminded me so much of myself. Together with you.
TRANSLATOR’S NOTES
(1) Probably a reference to a river in Japanese mythology, the Ahakihara, in which Izanagi purified himself after seeing his wife as a corpse in the Underworld. Also most likely a pun on Akihabara, the anime mecca of Tokyo.
VOLUME 2
PART 2: YATA NO KAGAMI
Chapter 12: Together with the You Inside the Mirror
By the time I had arrived at Konohana Sakuya Academy, everything had already ended.
–
I have to say, I was being surprisingly carefree about this situation. However, you could say I just didn’t have very much confidence in my idea, in the conclusion I had reached, so those doubts made me decide to ask Kagami about what was going on.
I couldn’t get through to her on the phone or through text, so I ended up going back with Tama to their apartment (it was near our house, in a building called the Corpse Ahakihara) (1). However, even though it was already pitch black outside it seemed that Kagami had yet to come home.
Tsurugi was there though, but didn’t seem to want to butt in.
“Ahh, I’m kinda bad with youthful crap like this, so can you just go handle it for me? Thanks.”
She just left me with that nonsensical message while brushing her teeth and chased me away.
“Don’t stay out too late, okay?!” “Hmph!” Tsurugi tossed that warning at Tama as we left, and at that point I decided to stop running around from place to place.
I had reached a conclusion.
If my line of thinking wasn’t mistaken, then Kagami was at Konohana Sakuya Academy.
We were “only friends at school,” right Kagami?
“Ugh…”
The empty schoolhouse at night looked a bit like a haunted house, but after I sneaked in, I realized that “haunted house” would be putting it too lightly.
I smelled blood. Enough to make me choke.
I don’t know if it was some kind of alteration or something, but there was nothing blocking my path. Neither the school gate, nor the glass door at the top of the entrance stairs were locked, and I entered the building with no resistance.
I changed into my indoor shoes at the shoebox, and walked through the quiet hallways.
I felt dizzy.
This was the same uneasy feeling I got back when I had been a shut-in and tried to walk outside.
It was the nausea I got when exposed to a world that had been horribly and selfishly twisted by the other gods and their alterations.
It felt like I was wearing glasses way too strong for me and trying to walk across the deck of a swaying ship.
Everything I saw, everything I heard, everything I touched…
None of it made sense, but just twirled around me in an eddy of ill will, assaulting me.
This was wrong.
Anything and everything was wrong.
My swirling emotions flickered nauseatingly in front of my eyes.
“Ugheeehhhh…”
I couldn’t help dashing into a nearby bathroom and vomiting everything into the Western-style toilet inside.
“Ueeh, ehh, oehhhhhh…”
After my stomach had been completely emptied, I stood up again.
I washed my mouth at the fountain and smacked myself on the cheek, trying to get myself back into the game.
I had to try my best.
I had to try my best…
“……”
I felt myself completely drained after having vomited, but there was no real problem.
I went out of the bathroom and walked around the school, checking to make sure that everything was over.
And I found many strange monsters lying about, looking completely out-of-place in this normal schoolhouse.
There were a lot of monsters which just looked like huge versions of animals or reptiles, but there were also ones that looked like a huge eyeball in the middle of a pile of meat. I also saw a vaulting horse and a set of hurdles which had sprouted a pair of arms and legs. There really wasn’t any consistency.
These were the gods.
There were also some that were still moving.
I was desperately trying to control the power of the Supreme God, so maybe they saw me as just a normal girl, but some of them made scary faces and came at me menacingly.
Ridiculous.
Did they not know who I was?
“Don’t…”
I tried not to get angry.
No matter how childish of an emotion it was, I had to prioritize that over everything else.
If I couldn’t control the power of the Supreme God, then the world would twist.
If I got angry, got sad, got happy…
I had to put all those emotions under my control and manage them to minimize any effect I might have on the world.
That was my duty.
But.
“Don’t… make me… angry…”
Mustering every ounce of patience I had, I managed to get that one sentence out.
But with just that, all the gods around me vanished.
They had run away.
They were frightened of the imperial wrath of the Supreme God.
“Now that I think about it, this was all pretty simple.”
I talked while I walked.
I had no idea where Kagami was.
She might’ve already gone home.
I wanted to see her, but I didn’t know how I was supposed to look her in the face.
But, I needed to tell her how I felt.
I wanted to apologize… and at least tell her the truth.
Tell the truth to my clumsy, awkward friend.
“It was the same with the Valentine’s Day Tragedy, but all the gods want to curry favor with the Supreme God. After all, the more the Supreme God values you and likes you, the higher your divinity becomes.”
All the gods obey the Supreme God.
The Supreme God was the king of the nation, so to speak.
To the other gods, that was the absolute rule. And so, their ambitions and attempts at flattery would be remarkable.
But, right now, the Supreme God was an idiot like me.
I had forgotten the fact that I had the power of the Supreme God, and wished for a friend.
And then, I chose a single girl, Yagami Kagami, as my friend.
At that point, the gods became jealous.
To be the only person receiving the affection of the King was a recipe for disaster.
Even human history has proven that point over and over again.
That poor soul who was chosen as the Supreme God’s object of affection would be showered with the jealousy, harassment, and interference from everyone around her.
I’m sure Kagami had been beaten down while I wasn’t looking.
I just never noticed.
I remembered the old lady from the cafeteria, who had tripped for what seemed like no reason at all and thrown all the food on her tray onto Kagami.
That was the beginning.
That explained everything.
After that, Kagami fell victim to similar spots of bad luck and even greater disasters.
She wasn’t being attacked by humans, but rather by the Myriad Gods who had built this world.
They were the world itself, you could say.
Potted plants would fall on her head as she walked, cats and dogs would attack her… when she walked past a construction site, a ruptured water pipe would shower her with water, or the steel frame itself would come crashing down on her.
It was like Kagami was the main character in a slapstick comedy manga. Anything and everything in the world was out to get her.
They were all trying to drag her from her position of being the “Supreme God’s friend.”
No, in fact, her life was even in danger.
I remembered back to the time I saw her completely bloody that one night.
She had fought.
On the outside, she acted like nothing was wrong and was a friend to me during these “normal,” happy times, but on the backside she was fighting all along.
And of course she would only want to be my friend at school.
That was Kagami’s limit.
It was the best compromise she could come up with. If I innocently treated Kagami like a friend outside as well, then the entire world would begin to attack her there as well.
It took all Kagami’s strength already to keep peace within the school.
She didn’t hate me, and she wasn’t rejecting me.
Instead, clumsy Kagami had taken on a completely thankless role, trying to hide everything from naïve little me so I wouldn’t feel guilty.
She didn’t like it, and found it all very annoying, but she was trying her very best all the same.
@@@@@@
“Kagami…”
I just walked where my feet were taking me, and finally made it.
Made it to the First Year, Right-Hand-Side classroom which had been an important part of my everyday life, but would only continue to be for less than a week.
In the middle of that classroom, Kagami was sitting at her own desk.
The moonlight streaming in from the window highlighted her doll-like figure.
She was completely bloodied.
Today, she had been beaten black and blue too.
She was probably getting wounded day after day.
Her breath turned white in front of her face, and she looked to be in pain as she lay there with her eyes shut. I called out to her.
“Kagami!”
Kagami dazily opened her eyes.
And then, she looked at me with a hint of surprise, but as always spoke to me in a completely unaffectionate tone.
“Oh my, what’s wrong, Sasami-san? Isn’t it a bit too early for you to come to school?”
“You too. Aren’t you staying after just a bit too late?”
Here was my better friend, who I had just started forming a relationship with and who always brought out my sarcastic side.
“Didn’t you have plans today?”
I slowly walked towards her until I was right in front of her.
I was close to tears, so I tried my best to look scary.
“Y-You were walking with a classmate, right? I thought you were going to hang out with her somewhere. That was Kagami’s friend?”
“I do not have any friends.”
Kagami muttered that and I heard her chuckle.
It was a pretty obnoxious attitude, but her voice was so weak and hoarse that I couldn’t bring myself to get angry.
“It seemed that she had been possessed by evil gods, so I drove them all away. I guess their plan was to settle down inside real people, become friends with you, and then heighten their own divinities… the evil gods, I mean.”
Kagami sounded pretty helpless as she said that.
“They would forcibly alter the person’s psyche and try to make that person into an ideal friend for you. And you’re just a naïve child, so I’m sure you would’ve been very happy with that.”
Her voice was dripping with sarcasm.
“You would have probably been satisfied with even a fake friend like that. And, stupidly tempted by the evil gods, you would slowly alter the entire world down the wrong path. That would be a problem.”
“You were worried for me, weren’t you…?”
“Are you listening to me? Are you really that big of an idiot?”
“Thanks, Kagami.”
I already understood everything.
It’s exactly as you said.
I was… seriously… seriously an idiot before, Kagami.
I forgot about the power of the Supreme God inside of me, and foolishly desired to have friends, to have a normal life.
I didn’t even try to guess what kind of effect my wishes would have on my surroundings.
Kagami got wrapped up in it all… she got really hurt, and all for me.
“Sorry, I’m sorry…”
Hm? I can’t see in front of me.
That’s strange…
“Why are you crying? Are you a child?”
I could hear panic in Kagami’s voice.
“No need to worry. Everything has been cleaned up. I made sure to tell all the gods inside the school to not do anything foolish, disciplined them, and pummeled the ones who tried to disobey. The gods inside the school will no longer try anything.”
Kagami had a proud look on her face.
“From now on, if you make friends, you can rest assured that they won’t just have been the result of alterations caused by evil gods. They will be true friends you made with you rown strength. So don’t worry, and please enjoy your bright, fun school life.”
She didn’t sound like she cared at all.
“Please excuse me from continuing this role though. I’m exhausted. Ahh, everything was so annoying. I finally get to sleep now… I really was sleep deprived, you know. Makes me almost want to ask for some kind of compensation. Having to work that hard for no reason… Sasami-san? Are you listening to me?”
“K-K-Kagamiiii…”
“Gyah?!”
I hugged her and pushed her to the ground.
Kagami was pretty weak right now, so she fell right over onto the cold classroom floor and looked up at the ceiling.
I buried my face in her chest and began to sniffle.
Just like a child.
Ugh, geez, I feel a dam has broken somewhere… the tears won’t stop coming now.
Kagami flushed deep red and tried to push me off her.
“What are you doing…?! I’m not into that kind of thing, okay? Hey, stop pushing your face into me! You’ll get snot on me! That’s dirty! Also, I’m the one full of holes right now… you should treat the injured with more care!”
“Kyagyabiii…”
I didn’t listen to a word she said.
“I’m so sorry! I-I was an idiot…! You won’t have to suffer anymore! I’m going to tell off all those gods who are bothering you! I’ll make sure you don’t get hurt anymore! So, Kagami… please… after this, I want to… forever…”
“Ugh, stop being so noisy, you whore!”
Kagami called me the worst thing I’ve ever been called in my life.
But I didn’t back down.
I just continued hugging Kagami and sobbing into her chest.
“Kagamiii… I’m sorry… sob… I really love you…”
“Ugh, you’re disgusting. You pig! Die!”
I’m sure Kagami didn’t know what to do either.
Out of sheer shyness, I had said some horrible, foolish things to Kagami. Told her she was a loaner friend, that I needed someone like “Kagami or whatever,” said that she was just there for practice.
I had said that she wasn’t a real friend, but I was just using her as a stepladder to eventually making real friends.
And Kagami had taken my words completely at face value.
So, she was trying her best not so that I wouldn’t feel burdened or guilty about anything, to make an environment in which I felt like I could get “normal friends.”
She was trying her best to suppress the gods within the school, so that I wouldn’t consciously or unconsciously use the power of the Supreme God to cheat and make friends with a power outside of my own.
She had guessed that if that happened, I wouldn’t be happy about it.
But, Kagami.
Understanding me like that, taking on my pain and problems like that…
There really was only one word to describe a relationship like that.
“Kagami.”
I asked her one more time.
“Please, be my friend.”
Kagami stopped resisting.
Just like a broken doll.
Or, maybe, just like a baby who had just been born into the world.
I really loved this side of her.
She wasn’t used to receiving compliments from others, so she would go off track and turn others away, and would get misunderstood as a girl who rejected the company of others.
However, she really just felt lonely, and was clumsily trying her best for the sake of others…
I really like you.
Yeah, I definitely think I can grow to like you, more and more.
“I…”
Kagami began to mumble in a soft voice, as if she was talking to herself.
“In the past, I was a doll. A doll without a will. I was nothing more than a fabricated tool, tuned to perfection and able to carry any task out in the best way possible.”
Her beautifully voice rang poetically around the room.
“But I always felt incomplete. My heart was empty. I was just a lifeless machine, without any ability to cry. But even so, I wished to live an ‘average, normal’ life. Instead of an excellent doll who lived to kill or be killed, who carried out missions, I wanted to be a normal girl who could laugh and cry.”
I felt Kagami’s fingertips awkwardly touch me from behind.
“If my prayers could come true, then gods above, I wish to be human.”
I wasn’t a god though.
I was just a misshapen fake who was borrowing a god’s power.
I wanted to grant her wishes.
“I want to be a human. A stupid, weak, and yet warm human being.”
“Kagami…”
But I was a fool, so I couldn’t do much for her right now.
There was one thing I could do, though.
“You’re already warm.”
I softly embraced her.
Embraced this girl covered in blood.
In this empty classroom, illuminated by nothing but the moonlight.
We were enveloped by silence, by darkness, but also by warmth.
“I… see…”
Kagami blinked over and over again, but then gave me a small, relaxed smile.
Her smile was surprisingly beautiful.
“Will I be able to become human someday? Will I be able to… be your friend?”
“You will. Let’s… try hard together from now on, Kagami.”
This girl who used to be a doll a long time ago was probably very tired… she let out a long sigh, and then she closed her eyes while still clinging to me.
I could hear her breathing softly. She had fallen asleep.
“Good night, Kagami.”
Maybe I should just go to sleep like this too…
@@@@@@
I only had one week left in my first year of high school.
My youth was flying past me in the blink of an eye.
But, my new kind friend had set the stage for me, so I would try my very best to enjoy this time with her to its fullest.
I would laugh, would cry, would argue, and would play.
Together with the person inside the mirror who reminded me so much of myself. Together with you.
TRANSLATOR’S NOTES
(1) Probably a reference to a river in Japanese mythology, the Ahakihara, in which Izanagi purified himself after seeing his wife as a corpse in the Underworld. Also most likely a pun on Akihabara, the anime mecca of Tokyo.
