1
His body was shaking.
Someone was shaking him back and forth.
“…chan.”
He heard a distant voice.
“…morning.”
It gradually grew closer.
“…Onii-chan.”
It was a familiar voice.
“Onii-chan, it’s morning.”
A white light shone through the pitch black world.
“…Ngh?”
Sakuta slowly opened his eyes as his consciousness returned. His sleepy gaze met with Kaede’s face, who was bent over the bed. The light coming in through the crack in the partly open curtains hurt his eyes.
“You have exams today, right? You’ll be late.”
Kaede shook him again.
“Ah, yeah, that’s right, I’ve got mid- phwaa.”
Sakuta sat up while biting down on a yawn. His whole body was heavy, like he had caught a cold. He had a slight temperature, but rather than saying he was unwell, he was just really tired… he had a feeling that’s how he should put it.
Crushing his urge to go back to sleep, Sakuta fought against his fatigue and got out of bed. He couldn’t be late for attendance when he had mid-term exams. Taking the supplementary exams would be far too much trouble.
The clock showed it was twenty to eight. To get to school, there was first a ten-minute or so walk to Fujisawa Station, then about fifteen minutes of being swayed by the train. It would take around five minutes from getting off the train at Shichirigahama Station to get to the classroom. Thirty minutes, all told.
If he didn’t leave the house by eight, he’d be in trouble. He didn’t have much time.
“You’re a lifesaver, Kaede, thanks for waking me.”
“Waking you up is my reason to be.”
She smiled cutely, but he couldn’t honestly praise that.
“You should find some other ways of enjoying life.”
“Like washing your back?”
“Outside of me that is.”
“No way.”
She rejected it with a serious expression.
“I’m worried for your future, as your older brother.”
As he spoke, he opened his wardrobe to get changed. He took his school shirt off its hanger and at that moment, his hand slipped and the shirt fell atop a bag beneath it.
“What was in there?”
He looked into the bag as he picked up the shirt. Kaede watched from the side and both of their gazes caught a certain thing at the same time.
“…”
“…”
A short silence filled the room.
“Onii-chan, w-what is that?”
Kaede pointed into the bag and spoke with a trembling voice.
Sakuta wanted to ask that too. There was a black leotard with a white pom-pom at the rear. There were similarly black stocking and high heels, and even a bow tie. There were white cuffs and to top it all off, a symbolic pair of bunny ears on a hairband came out of the bag.
However they looked at it, it was a bunny girl outfit.
“Maybe I was going to get you to wear it.”
That was about the only possibility.
“Eh?”
For now, he put the hairband on her head as she stiffened in surprise.
“Yeah, not bad.”
“I-I’m not wearing it! It’s still too soon for me to wear this kind of sexy outfit!”
Kaede realised the danger and rushed from the room.
He didn’t particularly want to chase his sister off and make her hate him first thing in the morning, so he returned the outfit to its bag and put it back in the wardrobe.
“Am I over-stressed?”
He put his arms through the shirt sleeves and buttoned it up. Then put on the uniform trousers and tied his tie. It was a little crooked.
“…”
He’d always ignore it and head off. Yet for some reason, it was bothering him today so he un-knotted it and re-tied it, this time straight.
Before he put his blazer on, he tossed his books into his bag. A notebook on the desk caught his eye, and Sakuta picked it up.
“What was this?”
He flipped through the pages and saw a carefully written sentence.
He’d thought it was his Japanese notebook, but looking carefully he could see that was wrong.
There were instructions at the top, and the rest was set out like some kind of diary.
Honestly, I think what’s written here will be unbelievable, but it’s all the truth, read it right to the end. To the end!
6th May
I met a wild bunny girl. Her identity was my senpai in her third year at Minegahara High School, the famous _______.
This was the start of it, our meeting. I can’t forget it.
Even if you do forget, remember it, hold firm, future me.
He didn’t know how to react to it.
“Is it something from my dark past?”
An emotional adolescence would end up provoking various wild delusions. He didn’t remember why he had written this, but the handwriting was definitely his and there was no doubt that the characters were his own. So Sakuta most certainly wrote it.
However, the more he looked at it, the more painful it was.
It continued on describing an ideal girlfriend, filling half of the book. It talked about them talking on the platform, on the train, and of the date they went on and going to Ogaki.
He had indeed gone to Ogaki several days ago, but that was because he had a sudden fancy to go somewhere else and boarded a train, unfortunately however, it was a solitary journey.
“…”
However, the thing that worried him was the blank space. There was an empty gap where someone’s name should be in the sentence. It looked like a four or five character name.
“Did I hide it to get a girlfriend?”
It was all the more painful. Even if it was a mistake, he couldn’t let someone else see this. He’d have to dispose of it quickly. Speaking plainly, it was like a blot on his life.
The phrases that were interspersed that seemed to be talking to himself were all the more painful, and embarrassment filled his body.
As the clock chimed to let him know it was eight o’clock, Sakuta remembered his hurry. He threw the notebook into the bin, put on his blazer and with a ‘See you later’ to his sister, headed out to school.
2
Sakuta hurried slightly along the ten minute route to the station. He passed through the residential area, crossed a bridge and came out onto the main street. While he was delayed at several sets of light, he walked into the business area around the station. As he looked at the pachinko parlours and electronics retailers around it, the station’s sign came into view.
The station had the same atmosphere as always. It was flowing with commuting workers and students. People were heading out of the station to their offices and people headed to other platforms to switch trains. Sakuta was one of many hurrying through the passage to the Enoden station.
When Sakuta passed through the barriers, the usual train he used was still at the platform and he boarded the first carriage as he regained his breath.
He stood next to the door and someone nearby called out to him.
“Yo.”
It was Kunimi Yuuma, with a hand raised lightly in greeting.
“Hey.”
The train set off and Yuuma surveyed Sakuta’s face as he held on to the straps with both hands.
“You look much better today.”
“Hm?”
“You looked like a zombie yesterday. Were you the type to cram the night before?”
“Nah, I’m the type to give up and go right to sleep.”
“Guessed so.”
He must have gone to bed relatively early last night. He had no memories past about nine or ten that night. Even though it was the night before a test, that was much earlier than he would usually sleep. He looked disinterestedly into the carriage. There were many people in Minegahara uniforms, several of them with books opened to gain even a single extra point in their exams.
Yuuma took his maths book from his back and started to review the formulae.
The train passed through Koshigoe Station as Sakuta interfered with his studying, and the sea unfolded beyond the window. As it did, he felt like someone was watching him.
“…”
It niggled at him, and Sakuta turned around.
“What is it?”
Yuuma looked at him in puzzlement, finding Sakuta’s actions odd.
“Just felt like I was being watched.”
While he was speaking, his eyes met those of a girl standing one door over. She was wearing a uniform that still seemed to be mostly un-worn. She was Koga Tomoe.
“Hmm, her? She’s a first year, right?”
Tomoe looked away, and Yuuma seemed to know.
“You know her, Kunimi?”
“She often comes to watch practice with her friend next to her.” There certainly was a familiar looking girl next to her. “The club think they’re pretty cute.”
“I see, so they’re looking at you.”
He felt pathetic and embarrassed at his own misunderstanding.
“I don’t think so.”
Yuuma returned his focus to his textbook.
“Why?”
“It looks like they come to watch one of the third years in practice.”
“Hmmm.”
“Anyway, it’s kinda weird for you to know a first year when you can’t even remember your classmates’ names. Something happen?”
“Kinda.”
“Oh, how interesting. Tell me.”
Yuuma stopped studying and nudged his shoulder with a grin.
“We just kicked each other’s backsides and got to know each other, nothing special.”
That was the previous Sunday. He had come across a lost girl and there had been a strange misunderstanding, and a strange development.
“Just kicked each other’s backsides, that’s plenty weird…”
“That kind of thing happens.”
“Never in my life before… were you going somewhere?”
“Somewhere other than here, I guess.”
“The hell?”
Sakuta looked back to the window as a sign the conversation was over.
Something was tugging at his heart. It had something to do with his meeting with Koga Tomoe. But Sakuta couldn’t remember what had lead to that.
The train reached Shichirigahama Station, and the students in the Minegahara uniform streamed out onto the platform.
Sakuta was one of them and he walked down the short path to the school as he breathed in the sea breeze.
He could hear chatter from his surroundings like ‘Crap, exams’, and ‘I didn’t study at all’ and ‘I just did that bit’.
All of the students had the common issue of exams, but apart from that it was the usual scene. An everyday scene with similar exchanges every day.
It wasn’t particularly enjoyable, but nor was it bothersome enough to dislike.
Everyone was doing as they did.
That ‘normalcy’ was in front of Sakuta. A duo of first years passed Sakuta and Yuuma at a trot. It was Koga Tomoe and her friend, chatting about going out for karaoke after their exams.
“What about you, Sakuta? Got plans for after the exams?”
“Work, you?”
“Practice, the tournament’s soon.”
“I see, that’s good.”
“Hm? How?”
“If you’d said you had a date, I’d have been angry.”
“That’s waiting for me at the weekend.”
“You’re a crappy guy, Kunimi.”
“That goes for you, saying that.”
“It’s better than just thinking it.”
Sakuta and Yuuma reached the entrance hall as they bantered with each other.
They changed into their indoor shoes at the shoe rack and headed upstairs to the second year classrooms. Sakuta was in a different class than Yuuma, so they separated in the corridor and Sakuta entered class 2-2’s classroom alone.
He sat in the first seat by the window. He had a maths exam first-period followed by a Japanese exam in second.
Some of his classmates were frantically leafing through books, and others were carefully going over notes. There were even some who had given up and were resting. Kamisato Saki, who sat in the seat diagonally behind him had been eating pocky that morning, storing up sugar for the exam.
As his nose itched for some reason, Sakuta pulled out his textbook.
“Maybe I caught a cold.”
He blew his nose into a tissue and looked over the higher-order equation examples. He had a feeling that he had to get good marks.
As he finished going over the examples, the area in front of him dimmed.
Someone was standing in front of him.
He could tell who it was without even looking up, her lab-coat went further towards the floor than her skirt, and was fleetingly visible even as he looked at the textbook.
“It’s rare for you to come to me, Futaba.”
“Here.”
Futaba somewhat tiredly held out an envelope.
“A love letter?”
“No.”
“Guessed not.”
Sakuta knew who Rio held feelings for. He accepted the envelope and looked inside. As one would expect, there was a letter inside. He glanced at her, checking that he could read it.
“…”
After waiting for her nod, he opened the letter and glanced over it.
This is an absurdly broad definition of Observation Theory, but everything in the world is made definite by observation. In that case, if _______’s vanishing is caused by the sub-conscious disregard of the students towards her, if Azusagawa can create a stronger reason to exist then he might be able to save _______. In short, if your love can overcome the probability waveform before _______ is given a definite form… In other words, the student’s sub-conscious forcing of _______’s form into something like the atmosphere before her existence is defined.
It was a bizarre letter with strange blank spaces. He couldn’t understand the meaning of it at all. However, there was no mistake that it was something that Rio had addressed to him.
“…”
He asked for an explanation with his eyes.
“I don’t understand it either. It was in my textbook for maths, I noticed it last night.”
“What the hell.”
The, Rio placed another letter on his desk.
“This was with it.”
Still not understanding, Sakuta passed his eyes over the second letter.
There was a short sentence written on it.
Don’t think anything, give the letter to Azusagawa.
It seemed to be a letter from Rio to herself. Sakuta remembered a similar thing in his room that morning. That deluded writing in his notebook.
Something pulled at his mind, but he couldn’t remember it, and a hazy feeling spread through his body.
“Anyway, I’ve given it you.”
Were the only words Rio said, and she went to leave the classroom.
“Ah, oi!”
His call and the bell overlapped, and he had no choice but to give up for now.
His form teacher entered the room, and homeroom began.
“This might be the last day of your exams, but don’t take that as an excuse to act out.”
As he listened to the quick-tempered teacher’s warning, Sakuta scanned the letter Rio had given him again.
This is an absurdly broad definition of Observation Theory, but everything in the world is made definite by observation. In that case, if _______’s vanishing is caused by the sub-conscious disregard of the students towards her, if Azusagawa can create a stronger reason to exist then he might be able to save _______. In short, if your love can overcome the probability waveform before _______ is given a definite form… In other words, the student’s sub-conscious forcing of _______’s form into something like the atmosphere before her existence is defined.
“…Love, huh?”
However, he had no idea of the meaning behind it.
3
His first-period maths exam went fairly well.
He completely filled the answer column and carefully put down his working, somehow feeling that he absolutely had to. Normally he wouldn’t have bothered because it was a hassle, but he had looked over his answers again and felt he could get a good mark.
Second-period was his Japanese exam.
With the bell as their signal, his classmates all flipped the question and answer pages and then the scratching of pencils filled the room.
Sakuta filled in his name and seat number and then looked to the questions. The first was a long question, and after checking the heading, he continued scanning the main part.
It took twenty minutes for him to take the first fortress in the paper.
The next was also a long question, and one that hadn’t been in the book. It looked like it would take quite some time, so Sakuta skipped to the last completion questions.
Confusing root words.
I will become his guarant__. Guarant__ the country’s safety.He would have to complete the derived words.
Without hesitation, Sakuta wrote down guarantor for the first answer, and guarantee for the second.
“…”
The second he finished writing, Sakuta felt his pencil hesitate and he stopped.
A different question than the one in the exam came to mind.
He’d known that question so easily because he had studied it the night before. But he didn’t remember the circumstances around it.
A vague feeling of unease passed through his body and gradually became discomfort. He tried to remember but couldn’t. That ill feeling went to his throat, and then no further.
The more he thought, the more his unease grew. He felt like something was pleading with him from within his mind.
“…What is it?”
Really, what was this feeling…
There was a pleasant feeling in his chest. He found sadness. There was a mood of enjoyment too.
And yet, an intense, heart-rending pain filled his chest.
The countless feelings rampaged in Sakuta’s heart and then faded before returning again, like breaking waves, jolting him.
Then, something dripped on his answer sheet.
He thought it might be snot, but it wasn’t.
It had fallen from his eyes.
It was tears.
He hurriedly raised his head. What on earth was wrong with him to suddenly start crying in an exam?
As he sniffled and tried to hold back his tears, someone’s voice sounded in his mind.
“Which one would be used in ‘There is no one who will be blank for Sakuta’s future’?”
He knew that voice.
“We can go with ‘I can’t blank Sakuta’s safety if he cheats’.”
The fog in his mind gradually cleared.
“The one with ‘or’ has the nuance of taking responsibility, and the one with ‘ee’ has the nuance of protection.”
He had put them in the answer column, just as he had been taught.
Sakuta’s pen rolled from his fingers. He didn’t think this was the time to be taking an exam. His body reacted to his emotions and he shot up. Completely uncaring of his surroundings.
“Whoa.”
The classmate behind up reared back in surprise and the girl next to him let out a cry.
The entire class stopped their work and looked at Sakuta.
Even the invigilating teacher was looking at him in confusion.
“Oi, Azusagawa, what is it?”
“It’s a big one.”
Sakuta spoke, and the classroom was filled with laughter.
“Oi, you lot, concentrate.”
While the invigilator’s attention was distracted, Sakuta raced out of the classroom. He passed by the toilets and down the stairs. It was too much trouble to go to the entrance hall, so Sakuta climbed out of the window on the ground floor.
He had remembered something important. Memories of someone precious had returned to him.
He had something he had to do for her.
“Ahh, it really is the worst…”
He naturally let out his true feelings.
Spread before him was Minegahara High School’s sports field. Sakuta was walking towards its centre as if he was checking each step before he took it.
“…I really did only think of stupid things.”
The cue was Rio’s letter, and the final sentence in it.
“If your love can overcome the probability waveform.”
He wouldn’t know whether what he was about to do was correct until he tried it.
It was a losing battle. After all, Sakuta’s opponent was the ‘atmosphere’.
The ‘atmosphere’ that pushing and pulling or hitting would have no effect on. The ‘atmosphere’ that had enveloped the school. Even now, he thought that fighting it wasn’t worth it.
The people creating that ‘atmosphere’ had no cognisance of their connection to it. No matter how he pleaded with the students that felt no connection, it wouldn’t influence them in the slightest. They’d just laugh at his panic. They’d just cool his passion.
They would just solve everything with those words that were so much of a template they couldn’t even be called their own: ‘read the atmosphere’.
Sakuta realised himself that he was living in that world.
Following the person next to you made things easy. Deciding what was good or bad just used up calories, and holding your own opinions would just lead to you getting hurt when they were denied. If you were with ‘everyone’ then, you could relax, and be safe. You didn’t have to see things you didn’t want to, didn’t have to think things you didn’t want to. You could treat everything as someone else’s problem.
The world was that unfeeling.
It made people isolate others without realising it, and made people turn their backs on those that were isolated. In order to protect that atmosphere, to protect themselves, people could remorselessly pretend not to see. They could do all this with a face unaware of those that they were hurting.
The world was so unfeeling that using that tacit understanding, it could hurt others while feeling no pain at all.
But that didn’t mean that logic of ‘everyone’s doing it’ made it okay to hurt people, ‘everyone doing it, so it’s right’ wasn’t the case either. Besides, who was ‘everyone’
That day, if he hadn’t met her in Shonandai Library, Sakuta would have continued being part of that faceless ‘everyone’, and would have been part of the cause that was hurting her.
And having noticed that, he had to make the distinction.
Even if the school itself was his opponent.
Even if every student was.
Even if it was the ‘atmosphere’, the thing he didn’t want to fight the most, Sakuta couldn’t look the other way.
That was because he had found something more important than maintaining the status quo.
The time they had spent together was certainly fun.
She was always treating Sakuta as much younger than her, but if she tried to make a suggestive joke herself, she was caught in it and went bright red, and then was obstinate to try and hide that failure.
The girl who would sulk if Sakuta didn’t follow her expectations.
She was selfish, acted like a queen, and moody. But despite all that, she was surprisingly innocent, and a year older than him. She’d stepped on his foot, pinched his cheek and slapped him.
The days he had spent with her were the best. Sometimes he had counter-attacked and she had sulked and called him cheeky. He had been happy and enjoyed that, and couldn’t bear to be without it.
She was the only one he felt like that towards.
The solitary special existence in this world.
Now that he knew that happiness, it wasn’t worth living without her. So whatever methods he had to use, he would take that fun time back.
This was necessary for it.
He wouldn’t let them part with no words again, like he had with Makinohara Shouko.
He didn’t want those feelings.
“I ain’t going to read the ‘atmosphere’ anymore, it’s ridiculous.”
In the middle of the field, Sakuta turned to look at the school building.
He was facing a three storey building from the front.
There were around a thousand students.
In both size and number, it was overwhelming. And if he was ignored, that would be the end of it.
He had no strategy.
However, he resolved himself.
He stopped thinking about how troublesome it was.
Hopefully it would go as he thought.
Hopefully it would go as he felt.
The countless excuses and reasons could go to hell.
Sakuta braced himself. He took a deep breath and gathered strength in his stomach. And then, in the loudest voice he could muster.
“All of you, listen up!”
He fired his opening salvo.
“I’m Azusagawa Sakuta!”
Sakuta’s voice echoed throughout the silence of the school as the students took their exams.
“From class 2-2!”
His throat was already trembling and in pain, but he had no intention of stopping. The first reaction was from the staffroom window. A few teachers looked from the window and gestured telling him to come back.
“Seat number one!”
Noise gradually filled the school.
“And I love the third year!”
He had the feeling someone said ‘the sports field’ and the windows opened one after another and many students looked his way.
“Sakurajima Mai-senpai!”
Goosebumps covered his body when he said the name, all of the pores on his skin releasing his emotions. The scattered pieces all fell into place with a pleasant feeling, and he was certain of his feelings in that instant.
He let out a long breath, emptying his lungs entirely and then filled them. He looked at the school, seeing the students gathered at the windows, focusing on Sakuta on the sports field.
As the roughly one thousand gazes washed over him, Sakuta let his emotions burst forth.
“I love Sakurajima Mai-senpai!”
He hurled all of his feelings towards the school building.
“I love Mai-saaaan!”
He felt like his throat tore… Sakuta confessed his precious feelings, wanting everyone in the town to hear, and even people further away.
So much so they could not be ignored.
So people couldn’t pretend not to see them.
He let out all that he had.
He couldn’t breathe anymore, and bent over in a coughing fit.
The first thing to occur was a long silence.
The next was a noisy muttering of doubt.
All the students were looking at Sakuta in the sports field. The individual gazes became a hammer, beating at Sakuta’s body. However, it wasn’t a strong strike, they were half-hearted strikes. Gradually becoming mocking.
He wanted to run away, to go home. His confession had been in vain.
“Ah, shit! So it ended like this, just in embarrassment. What the fuck!?”
He kept cursing.
“This is why I didn’t want to fight the atmosphere.”
Sakuta tore at his hair as they continued looking at him.
“This really is… the worst…”
Going home crossed his mind, and he looked at the school gates.
“…”
However, he didn’t take a single step towards them.
“I came this far, it’s not worth it without the reward from Mai-san.”
Sakuta faced the school half in desperation, and cried out again.
“I want to walk hand-in-hand on the beach!”
He wasn’t thinking anymore.
“I want to see her in her bunny girl outfit again!”
He left it to his emotions, and just spoke his feelings.
“I want to hug her close, I want to kiss her!”
He didn’t even know what he was saying anymore.
“Essentially! I really love Mai-saaaaaaaaaan!”
His scream travelled into the sky, drawing every student and every member of staff’s attention, he had never felt worse, but in this instant, those feelings became exhilaration for Sakuta.
Finally, the surroundings returned to silence.
A silence so still it seemed almost rehearsed. Sakuta felt like saying that as he swallowed his saliva.
He didn’t understand the reason.
From the building, a student he didn’t know was pointing at Sakuta. He didn’t understand why, and thought that they were mocking him at first.
He doubted that when he saw they were pointing slightly behind him…
He felt someone approach him as he heard the crunch of the gravel. Sakuta’s breath caught as their voice stimulated his ears.
“I’d have heard you even if you weren’t so loud.”
The voice somehow felt like a long-lost sound, a girl’s voice that he had always longed to hear.
Sakuta turned around hurriedly.
The sea breeze blew around her legs, making her skirt sway.
He saw her usual black tights. Her legs were about a shoulder width apart, and one hand was on her hip, the other holding her hair from blowing in the wind. She had an adult looking face, but her slightly angry expression still held hints of childishness.
A wave of emotion rushed up Sakuta from his feet. Mai was standing about ten metres from him.
“You’ll annoy the neighbours.”
“I thought I may as well let the whole world know.”
“You’re speaking Japanese, they wouldn’t understand.”
“Ah, that’s true.”
“You really are an idiot…”
Mai’s voice quavered as if she was trying to bear something.
“I think that’s better than pretending to be clever.”
“A real idiot…” Her slender shoulders shook. “You’ll start more weird rumours, standing out like this.”
“If they’re rumours with you, then I’ll welcome them.”
“That’s not… you idiot… you idiot…”
“…”
“You idiot, Sakuta!”
Large tears spilt from Mai’s eyes as she shouted.
In slow motion, she took the first step.
Mai was running towards him.
Thinking that she would embrace him, Sakuta opened his arms.
Three steps left, two, one… Immediately after that, a slap resounded through the grounds, echoing off into the sky. Sakuta had taken it directly, and was dumbfounded for an instant, then his cheek began to throb belatedly and he understood that even now, Mai had slapped him.
“Eh? Why?”
The plain question left his lips.
“You liar!” Mai glared through tears at him, with an expression that seemed to be about to break down. “You said you’d never forget!”
He finally understood her actions. She certainly had a reason to blame him. Like Mai said, he was a liar.
“I’m sorry.”
Sakuta gently put his arms around Mai as she shook.
With a little hesitation, he strengthened his grip, and Mai buried her face into his shoulder.
“I won’t forgive you…”
Came her muffled voice.
“I’m sorry.”
“I’ll never forgive you…”
Mai rubbed her face into his shoulder as she sniffled.
“I won’t let you go until you forgive me then.”
“Then I won’t forgive you for the rest of my life.”
Her tears were still mixed with her voice.
“Ehh.”
“What, have a problem with that?”
Seeming to have cried herself out, she swallowed her feelings.
“If they were told that by their beautiful senpai, there’s not a man that woul- ow! Mai-san, you’re stepping on my foot!”
“You’ve got some nerve, saying that much to me and not running away.”
“Um, my foot.”
“Aren’t you happy I’m stepping on you?”
“I’m sorry, I’m really sorry. I regret my actions so please forgive me.”
Her grinding her heel into his foot really was painful.
“If you were so scared you would cry, you shouldn’t have used sleeping pills.”
“These tears are just an act to bother you.”
“Then thank you for taking care of me when I was staying up all night.”
“You’re welcome, but I didn’t want to hear your thanks.” Mai’s heel was once more on Sakuta’s foot. “Even though you know what I mean.”
She gradually shifted her weight to that foot.
Sakuta resigned himself and said the words she wanted to hear.
“I love you.”
“Really?”
“That’s a lie, I really love you.”
“…” After a short silence, Mai moved away. She had stopped crying and all that remained were the tracks. “Hey, Sakuta.”
“What.”
“Say that again in a month.”
“Why?”
“If I reply here, I’ll feel like I was overcome by the moment.”
“I wanted a kiss at least in the excitement.”
“My heart’s pounding right now, so it might end up like that kind of thing.”
Mai turned away and spoke in embarrassment. Her reddened face was unbearably cute.
“Mai-san, you’re surprisingly calm.”
She wanted to avoid the suspension bridge effect.
“I’m telling you to think properly too.”
“About what?”
He didn’t think thinking about his feelings towards Mai would do anything now.
“I’m older than you.”
“If anything, that’s a plus.”
“I’m hesitant to date a younger boy.”
“Because I’m not reliable?”
“That’s… not what I mean.” She mumbled something. “If I date a younger boy, isn’t it like I’ve deceived them?”
“You did, so I don’t think you can avoid that.”
“I didn’t deceive you.”
“You’re always tempting me though.”
Now that she thought of it, they had had quite a lot of fun skinship. With her pinching his cheeks, stepping on his feet and the like.
“A-anyway, do you get it?”
“I don’t.”
“Don’t be unreasonable.”
“I can’t wait a month, so can I say it every day?”
Even though she was a little surprised, her face loosened, and she wasn’t as displeased as she’d have him believe.
“That’s okay, but keep it up for the whole month. If you don’t, I’ll consider it as your feelings changing.”
She said and pressed her finger to Sakuta’s nose, smiling teasingly. It was Mai’s smile, that he wanted to keep to himself. He didn’t have a choice now, so he showed everyone.
All of the students watched them in mute, blank amazement. They didn’t know how to react and were looking to the others to see their reactions, making an atmosphere of waiting for a judgement.
“Everyone really likes reading the atmosphere, huh?” Mai laughed cynically as she looked at the school, and then let out a long sigh. “And that rumour about you sending your classmates to hospital! That’s ridiculous!”
She suddenly shouted.
There was an instant of silence. Mai seemed rather proud when she turned around.
“You wanted to tell everyone, right?” Now that she said that, they had spoken about that on the Enoden. They were a little late, but the students closed in on the sports field looking at them in excitement. “…Their reaction is a little different than I expected.”
That was true, they weren’t showing surprise at Mai proclaiming the truth.
“It’s because you’re calling me by my first name with no honourific.” For this moment alone, they weren’t reading the atmosphere and were taking in the scandal before them. They were following their desires, this was certainly adolescence. “They’re paying so much attention to us because of you.”
“What, you’re worried about a mere thousand people? You’re too sensitive.”
It was obviously different for a nationally renowned actress.
“Yeah, I suppose three or four digits isn’t enough for you, Mai-san.”
Finally, Sakuta’s form teacher, the deputy head and a jersey-clad PE teacher came out onto the field to get the clamour under control.
“Man, I’m gonna get a lecture in the staffroom…”
“That’s good isn’t it?”
“How?”
“I’ll be being scolded with you.”
“Well, that ain’t bad.”
At the very least he was able to be with Mai.
Keenly feeling Mai next to him, Sakuta headed to the school building.
Alongside Mai…
And thus, the world took Sakurajima Mai back.
1
His body was shaking.
Someone was shaking him back and forth.
“…chan.”
He heard a distant voice.
“…morning.”
It gradually grew closer.
“…Onii-chan.”
It was a familiar voice.
“Onii-chan, it’s morning.”
A white light shone through the pitch black world.
“…Ngh?”
Sakuta slowly opened his eyes as his consciousness returned. His sleepy gaze met with Kaede’s face, who was bent over the bed. The light coming in through the crack in the partly open curtains hurt his eyes.
“You have exams today, right? You’ll be late.”
Kaede shook him again.
“Ah, yeah, that’s right, I’ve got mid- phwaa.”
Sakuta sat up while biting down on a yawn. His whole body was heavy, like he had caught a cold. He had a slight temperature, but rather than saying he was unwell, he was just really tired… he had a feeling that’s how he should put it.
Crushing his urge to go back to sleep, Sakuta fought against his fatigue and got out of bed. He couldn’t be late for attendance when he had mid-term exams. Taking the supplementary exams would be far too much trouble.
The clock showed it was twenty to eight. To get to school, there was first a ten-minute or so walk to Fujisawa Station, then about fifteen minutes of being swayed by the train. It would take around five minutes from getting off the train at Shichirigahama Station to get to the classroom. Thirty minutes, all told.
If he didn’t leave the house by eight, he’d be in trouble. He didn’t have much time.
“You’re a lifesaver, Kaede, thanks for waking me.”
“Waking you up is my reason to be.”
She smiled cutely, but he couldn’t honestly praise that.
“You should find some other ways of enjoying life.”
“Like washing your back?”
“Outside of me that is.”
“No way.”
She rejected it with a serious expression.
“I’m worried for your future, as your older brother.”
As he spoke, he opened his wardrobe to get changed. He took his school shirt off its hanger and at that moment, his hand slipped and the shirt fell atop a bag beneath it.
“What was in there?”
He looked into the bag as he picked up the shirt. Kaede watched from the side and both of their gazes caught a certain thing at the same time.
“…”
“…”
A short silence filled the room.
“Onii-chan, w-what is that?”
Kaede pointed into the bag and spoke with a trembling voice.
Sakuta wanted to ask that too. There was a black leotard with a white pom-pom at the rear. There were similarly black stocking and high heels, and even a bow tie. There were white cuffs and to top it all off, a symbolic pair of bunny ears on a hairband came out of the bag.
However they looked at it, it was a bunny girl outfit.
“Maybe I was going to get you to wear it.”
That was about the only possibility.
“Eh?”
For now, he put the hairband on her head as she stiffened in surprise.
“Yeah, not bad.”
“I-I’m not wearing it! It’s still too soon for me to wear this kind of sexy outfit!”
Kaede realised the danger and rushed from the room.
He didn’t particularly want to chase his sister off and make her hate him first thing in the morning, so he returned the outfit to its bag and put it back in the wardrobe.
“Am I over-stressed?”
He put his arms through the shirt sleeves and buttoned it up. Then put on the uniform trousers and tied his tie. It was a little crooked.
“…”
He’d always ignore it and head off. Yet for some reason, it was bothering him today so he un-knotted it and re-tied it, this time straight.
Before he put his blazer on, he tossed his books into his bag. A notebook on the desk caught his eye, and Sakuta picked it up.
“What was this?”
He flipped through the pages and saw a carefully written sentence.
He’d thought it was his Japanese notebook, but looking carefully he could see that was wrong.
There were instructions at the top, and the rest was set out like some kind of diary.
Honestly, I think what’s written here will be unbelievable, but it’s all the truth, read it right to the end. To the end!
6th May
I met a wild bunny girl. Her identity was my senpai in her third year at Minegahara High School, the famous _______.
This was the start of it, our meeting. I can’t forget it.
Even if you do forget, remember it, hold firm, future me.
He didn’t know how to react to it.
“Is it something from my dark past?”
An emotional adolescence would end up provoking various wild delusions. He didn’t remember why he had written this, but the handwriting was definitely his and there was no doubt that the characters were his own. So Sakuta most certainly wrote it.
However, the more he looked at it, the more painful it was.
It continued on describing an ideal girlfriend, filling half of the book. It talked about them talking on the platform, on the train, and of the date they went on and going to Ogaki.
He had indeed gone to Ogaki several days ago, but that was because he had a sudden fancy to go somewhere else and boarded a train, unfortunately however, it was a solitary journey.
“…”
However, the thing that worried him was the blank space. There was an empty gap where someone’s name should be in the sentence. It looked like a four or five character name.
“Did I hide it to get a girlfriend?”
It was all the more painful. Even if it was a mistake, he couldn’t let someone else see this. He’d have to dispose of it quickly. Speaking plainly, it was like a blot on his life.
The phrases that were interspersed that seemed to be talking to himself were all the more painful, and embarrassment filled his body.
As the clock chimed to let him know it was eight o’clock, Sakuta remembered his hurry. He threw the notebook into the bin, put on his blazer and with a ‘See you later’ to his sister, headed out to school.
2
Sakuta hurried slightly along the ten minute route to the station. He passed through the residential area, crossed a bridge and came out onto the main street. While he was delayed at several sets of light, he walked into the business area around the station. As he looked at the pachinko parlours and electronics retailers around it, the station’s sign came into view.
The station had the same atmosphere as always. It was flowing with commuting workers and students. People were heading out of the station to their offices and people headed to other platforms to switch trains. Sakuta was one of many hurrying through the passage to the Enoden station.
When Sakuta passed through the barriers, the usual train he used was still at the platform and he boarded the first carriage as he regained his breath.
He stood next to the door and someone nearby called out to him.
“Yo.”
It was Kunimi Yuuma, with a hand raised lightly in greeting.
“Hey.”
The train set off and Yuuma surveyed Sakuta’s face as he held on to the straps with both hands.
“You look much better today.”
“Hm?”
“You looked like a zombie yesterday. Were you the type to cram the night before?”
“Nah, I’m the type to give up and go right to sleep.”
“Guessed so.”
He must have gone to bed relatively early last night. He had no memories past about nine or ten that night. Even though it was the night before a test, that was much earlier than he would usually sleep. He looked disinterestedly into the carriage. There were many people in Minegahara uniforms, several of them with books opened to gain even a single extra point in their exams.
Yuuma took his maths book from his back and started to review the formulae.
The train passed through Koshigoe Station as Sakuta interfered with his studying, and the sea unfolded beyond the window. As it did, he felt like someone was watching him.
“…”
It niggled at him, and Sakuta turned around.
“What is it?”
Yuuma looked at him in puzzlement, finding Sakuta’s actions odd.
“Just felt like I was being watched.”
While he was speaking, his eyes met those of a girl standing one door over. She was wearing a uniform that still seemed to be mostly un-worn. She was Koga Tomoe.
“Hmm, her? She’s a first year, right?”
Tomoe looked away, and Yuuma seemed to know.
“You know her, Kunimi?”
“She often comes to watch practice with her friend next to her.” There certainly was a familiar looking girl next to her. “The club think they’re pretty cute.”
“I see, so they’re looking at you.”
He felt pathetic and embarrassed at his own misunderstanding.
“I don’t think so.”
Yuuma returned his focus to his textbook.
“Why?”
“It looks like they come to watch one of the third years in practice.”
“Hmmm.”
“Anyway, it’s kinda weird for you to know a first year when you can’t even remember your classmates’ names. Something happen?”
“Kinda.”
“Oh, how interesting. Tell me.”
Yuuma stopped studying and nudged his shoulder with a grin.
“We just kicked each other’s backsides and got to know each other, nothing special.”
That was the previous Sunday. He had come across a lost girl and there had been a strange misunderstanding, and a strange development.
“Just kicked each other’s backsides, that’s plenty weird…”
“That kind of thing happens.”
“Never in my life before… were you going somewhere?”
“Somewhere other than here, I guess.”
“The hell?”
Sakuta looked back to the window as a sign the conversation was over.
Something was tugging at his heart. It had something to do with his meeting with Koga Tomoe. But Sakuta couldn’t remember what had lead to that.
The train reached Shichirigahama Station, and the students in the Minegahara uniform streamed out onto the platform.
Sakuta was one of them and he walked down the short path to the school as he breathed in the sea breeze.
He could hear chatter from his surroundings like ‘Crap, exams’, and ‘I didn’t study at all’ and ‘I just did that bit’.
All of the students had the common issue of exams, but apart from that it was the usual scene. An everyday scene with similar exchanges every day.
It wasn’t particularly enjoyable, but nor was it bothersome enough to dislike.
Everyone was doing as they did.
That ‘normalcy’ was in front of Sakuta. A duo of first years passed Sakuta and Yuuma at a trot. It was Koga Tomoe and her friend, chatting about going out for karaoke after their exams.
“What about you, Sakuta? Got plans for after the exams?”
“Work, you?”
“Practice, the tournament’s soon.”
“I see, that’s good.”
“Hm? How?”
“If you’d said you had a date, I’d have been angry.”
“That’s waiting for me at the weekend.”
“You’re a crappy guy, Kunimi.”
“That goes for you, saying that.”
“It’s better than just thinking it.”
Sakuta and Yuuma reached the entrance hall as they bantered with each other.
They changed into their indoor shoes at the shoe rack and headed upstairs to the second year classrooms. Sakuta was in a different class than Yuuma, so they separated in the corridor and Sakuta entered class 2-2’s classroom alone.
He sat in the first seat by the window. He had a maths exam first-period followed by a Japanese exam in second.
Some of his classmates were frantically leafing through books, and others were carefully going over notes. There were even some who had given up and were resting. Kamisato Saki, who sat in the seat diagonally behind him had been eating pocky that morning, storing up sugar for the exam.
As his nose itched for some reason, Sakuta pulled out his textbook.
“Maybe I caught a cold.”
He blew his nose into a tissue and looked over the higher-order equation examples. He had a feeling that he had to get good marks.
As he finished going over the examples, the area in front of him dimmed.
Someone was standing in front of him.
He could tell who it was without even looking up, her lab-coat went further towards the floor than her skirt, and was fleetingly visible even as he looked at the textbook.
“It’s rare for you to come to me, Futaba.”
“Here.”
Futaba somewhat tiredly held out an envelope.
“A love letter?”
“No.”
“Guessed not.”
Sakuta knew who Rio held feelings for. He accepted the envelope and looked inside. As one would expect, there was a letter inside. He glanced at her, checking that he could read it.
“…”
After waiting for her nod, he opened the letter and glanced over it.
This is an absurdly broad definition of Observation Theory, but everything in the world is made definite by observation. In that case, if _______’s vanishing is caused by the sub-conscious disregard of the students towards her, if Azusagawa can create a stronger reason to exist then he might be able to save _______. In short, if your love can overcome the probability waveform before _______ is given a definite form… In other words, the student’s sub-conscious forcing of _______’s form into something like the atmosphere before her existence is defined.
It was a bizarre letter with strange blank spaces. He couldn’t understand the meaning of it at all. However, there was no mistake that it was something that Rio had addressed to him.
“…”
He asked for an explanation with his eyes.
“I don’t understand it either. It was in my textbook for maths, I noticed it last night.”
“What the hell.”
The, Rio placed another letter on his desk.
“This was with it.”
Still not understanding, Sakuta passed his eyes over the second letter.
There was a short sentence written on it.
Don’t think anything, give the letter to Azusagawa.
It seemed to be a letter from Rio to herself. Sakuta remembered a similar thing in his room that morning. That deluded writing in his notebook.
Something pulled at his mind, but he couldn’t remember it, and a hazy feeling spread through his body.
“Anyway, I’ve given it you.”
Were the only words Rio said, and she went to leave the classroom.
“Ah, oi!”
His call and the bell overlapped, and he had no choice but to give up for now.
His form teacher entered the room, and homeroom began.
“This might be the last day of your exams, but don’t take that as an excuse to act out.”
As he listened to the quick-tempered teacher’s warning, Sakuta scanned the letter Rio had given him again.
This is an absurdly broad definition of Observation Theory, but everything in the world is made definite by observation. In that case, if _______’s vanishing is caused by the sub-conscious disregard of the students towards her, if Azusagawa can create a stronger reason to exist then he might be able to save _______. In short, if your love can overcome the probability waveform before _______ is given a definite form… In other words, the student’s sub-conscious forcing of _______’s form into something like the atmosphere before her existence is defined.
“…Love, huh?”
However, he had no idea of the meaning behind it.
3
His first-period maths exam went fairly well.
He completely filled the answer column and carefully put down his working, somehow feeling that he absolutely had to. Normally he wouldn’t have bothered because it was a hassle, but he had looked over his answers again and felt he could get a good mark.
Second-period was his Japanese exam.
With the bell as their signal, his classmates all flipped the question and answer pages and then the scratching of pencils filled the room.
Sakuta filled in his name and seat number and then looked to the questions. The first was a long question, and after checking the heading, he continued scanning the main part.
It took twenty minutes for him to take the first fortress in the paper.
The next was also a long question, and one that hadn’t been in the book. It looked like it would take quite some time, so Sakuta skipped to the last completion questions.
Confusing root words.
I will become his guarant__. Guarant__ the country’s safety.He would have to complete the derived words.
Without hesitation, Sakuta wrote down guarantor for the first answer, and guarantee for the second.
“…”
The second he finished writing, Sakuta felt his pencil hesitate and he stopped.
A different question than the one in the exam came to mind.
He’d known that question so easily because he had studied it the night before. But he didn’t remember the circumstances around it.
A vague feeling of unease passed through his body and gradually became discomfort. He tried to remember but couldn’t. That ill feeling went to his throat, and then no further.
The more he thought, the more his unease grew. He felt like something was pleading with him from within his mind.
“…What is it?”
Really, what was this feeling…
There was a pleasant feeling in his chest. He found sadness. There was a mood of enjoyment too.
And yet, an intense, heart-rending pain filled his chest.
The countless feelings rampaged in Sakuta’s heart and then faded before returning again, like breaking waves, jolting him.
Then, something dripped on his answer sheet.
He thought it might be snot, but it wasn’t.
It had fallen from his eyes.
It was tears.
He hurriedly raised his head. What on earth was wrong with him to suddenly start crying in an exam?
As he sniffled and tried to hold back his tears, someone’s voice sounded in his mind.
“Which one would be used in ‘There is no one who will be blank for Sakuta’s future’?”
He knew that voice.
“We can go with ‘I can’t blank Sakuta’s safety if he cheats’.”
The fog in his mind gradually cleared.
“The one with ‘or’ has the nuance of taking responsibility, and the one with ‘ee’ has the nuance of protection.”
He had put them in the answer column, just as he had been taught.
Sakuta’s pen rolled from his fingers. He didn’t think this was the time to be taking an exam. His body reacted to his emotions and he shot up. Completely uncaring of his surroundings.
“Whoa.”
The classmate behind up reared back in surprise and the girl next to him let out a cry.
The entire class stopped their work and looked at Sakuta.
Even the invigilating teacher was looking at him in confusion.
“Oi, Azusagawa, what is it?”
“It’s a big one.”
Sakuta spoke, and the classroom was filled with laughter.
“Oi, you lot, concentrate.”
While the invigilator’s attention was distracted, Sakuta raced out of the classroom. He passed by the toilets and down the stairs. It was too much trouble to go to the entrance hall, so Sakuta climbed out of the window on the ground floor.
He had remembered something important. Memories of someone precious had returned to him.
He had something he had to do for her.
“Ahh, it really is the worst…”
He naturally let out his true feelings.
Spread before him was Minegahara High School’s sports field. Sakuta was walking towards its centre as if he was checking each step before he took it.
“…I really did only think of stupid things.”
The cue was Rio’s letter, and the final sentence in it.
“If your love can overcome the probability waveform.”
He wouldn’t know whether what he was about to do was correct until he tried it.
It was a losing battle. After all, Sakuta’s opponent was the ‘atmosphere’.
The ‘atmosphere’ that pushing and pulling or hitting would have no effect on. The ‘atmosphere’ that had enveloped the school. Even now, he thought that fighting it wasn’t worth it.
The people creating that ‘atmosphere’ had no cognisance of their connection to it. No matter how he pleaded with the students that felt no connection, it wouldn’t influence them in the slightest. They’d just laugh at his panic. They’d just cool his passion.
They would just solve everything with those words that were so much of a template they couldn’t even be called their own: ‘read the atmosphere’.
Sakuta realised himself that he was living in that world.
Following the person next to you made things easy. Deciding what was good or bad just used up calories, and holding your own opinions would just lead to you getting hurt when they were denied. If you were with ‘everyone’ then, you could relax, and be safe. You didn’t have to see things you didn’t want to, didn’t have to think things you didn’t want to. You could treat everything as someone else’s problem.
The world was that unfeeling.
It made people isolate others without realising it, and made people turn their backs on those that were isolated. In order to protect that atmosphere, to protect themselves, people could remorselessly pretend not to see. They could do all this with a face unaware of those that they were hurting.
The world was so unfeeling that using that tacit understanding, it could hurt others while feeling no pain at all.
But that didn’t mean that logic of ‘everyone’s doing it’ made it okay to hurt people, ‘everyone doing it, so it’s right’ wasn’t the case either. Besides, who was ‘everyone’
That day, if he hadn’t met her in Shonandai Library, Sakuta would have continued being part of that faceless ‘everyone’, and would have been part of the cause that was hurting her.
And having noticed that, he had to make the distinction.
Even if the school itself was his opponent.
Even if every student was.
Even if it was the ‘atmosphere’, the thing he didn’t want to fight the most, Sakuta couldn’t look the other way.
That was because he had found something more important than maintaining the status quo.
The time they had spent together was certainly fun.
She was always treating Sakuta as much younger than her, but if she tried to make a suggestive joke herself, she was caught in it and went bright red, and then was obstinate to try and hide that failure.
The girl who would sulk if Sakuta didn’t follow her expectations.
She was selfish, acted like a queen, and moody. But despite all that, she was surprisingly innocent, and a year older than him. She’d stepped on his foot, pinched his cheek and slapped him.
The days he had spent with her were the best. Sometimes he had counter-attacked and she had sulked and called him cheeky. He had been happy and enjoyed that, and couldn’t bear to be without it.
She was the only one he felt like that towards.
The solitary special existence in this world.
Now that he knew that happiness, it wasn’t worth living without her. So whatever methods he had to use, he would take that fun time back.
This was necessary for it.
He wouldn’t let them part with no words again, like he had with Makinohara Shouko.
He didn’t want those feelings.
“I ain’t going to read the ‘atmosphere’ anymore, it’s ridiculous.”
In the middle of the field, Sakuta turned to look at the school building.
He was facing a three storey building from the front.
There were around a thousand students.
In both size and number, it was overwhelming. And if he was ignored, that would be the end of it.
He had no strategy.
However, he resolved himself.
He stopped thinking about how troublesome it was.
Hopefully it would go as he thought.
Hopefully it would go as he felt.
The countless excuses and reasons could go to hell.
Sakuta braced himself. He took a deep breath and gathered strength in his stomach. And then, in the loudest voice he could muster.
“All of you, listen up!”
He fired his opening salvo.
“I’m Azusagawa Sakuta!”
Sakuta’s voice echoed throughout the silence of the school as the students took their exams.
“From class 2-2!”
His throat was already trembling and in pain, but he had no intention of stopping. The first reaction was from the staffroom window. A few teachers looked from the window and gestured telling him to come back.
“Seat number one!”
Noise gradually filled the school.
“And I love the third year!”
He had the feeling someone said ‘the sports field’ and the windows opened one after another and many students looked his way.
“Sakurajima Mai-senpai!”
Goosebumps covered his body when he said the name, all of the pores on his skin releasing his emotions. The scattered pieces all fell into place with a pleasant feeling, and he was certain of his feelings in that instant.
He let out a long breath, emptying his lungs entirely and then filled them. He looked at the school, seeing the students gathered at the windows, focusing on Sakuta on the sports field.
As the roughly one thousand gazes washed over him, Sakuta let his emotions burst forth.
“I love Sakurajima Mai-senpai!”
He hurled all of his feelings towards the school building.
“I love Mai-saaaan!”
He felt like his throat tore… Sakuta confessed his precious feelings, wanting everyone in the town to hear, and even people further away.
So much so they could not be ignored.
So people couldn’t pretend not to see them.
He let out all that he had.
He couldn’t breathe anymore, and bent over in a coughing fit.
The first thing to occur was a long silence.
The next was a noisy muttering of doubt.
All the students were looking at Sakuta in the sports field. The individual gazes became a hammer, beating at Sakuta’s body. However, it wasn’t a strong strike, they were half-hearted strikes. Gradually becoming mocking.
He wanted to run away, to go home. His confession had been in vain.
“Ah, shit! So it ended like this, just in embarrassment. What the fuck!?”
He kept cursing.
“This is why I didn’t want to fight the atmosphere.”
Sakuta tore at his hair as they continued looking at him.
“This really is… the worst…”
Going home crossed his mind, and he looked at the school gates.
“…”
However, he didn’t take a single step towards them.
“I came this far, it’s not worth it without the reward from Mai-san.”
Sakuta faced the school half in desperation, and cried out again.
“I want to walk hand-in-hand on the beach!”
He wasn’t thinking anymore.
“I want to see her in her bunny girl outfit again!”
He left it to his emotions, and just spoke his feelings.
“I want to hug her close, I want to kiss her!”
He didn’t even know what he was saying anymore.
“Essentially! I really love Mai-saaaaaaaaaan!”
His scream travelled into the sky, drawing every student and every member of staff’s attention, he had never felt worse, but in this instant, those feelings became exhilaration for Sakuta.
Finally, the surroundings returned to silence.
A silence so still it seemed almost rehearsed. Sakuta felt like saying that as he swallowed his saliva.
He didn’t understand the reason.
From the building, a student he didn’t know was pointing at Sakuta. He didn’t understand why, and thought that they were mocking him at first.
He doubted that when he saw they were pointing slightly behind him…
He felt someone approach him as he heard the crunch of the gravel. Sakuta’s breath caught as their voice stimulated his ears.
“I’d have heard you even if you weren’t so loud.”
The voice somehow felt like a long-lost sound, a girl’s voice that he had always longed to hear.
Sakuta turned around hurriedly.
The sea breeze blew around her legs, making her skirt sway.
He saw her usual black tights. Her legs were about a shoulder width apart, and one hand was on her hip, the other holding her hair from blowing in the wind. She had an adult looking face, but her slightly angry expression still held hints of childishness.
A wave of emotion rushed up Sakuta from his feet. Mai was standing about ten metres from him.
“You’ll annoy the neighbours.”
“I thought I may as well let the whole world know.”
“You’re speaking Japanese, they wouldn’t understand.”
“Ah, that’s true.”
“You really are an idiot…”
Mai’s voice quavered as if she was trying to bear something.
“I think that’s better than pretending to be clever.”
“A real idiot…” Her slender shoulders shook. “You’ll start more weird rumours, standing out like this.”
“If they’re rumours with you, then I’ll welcome them.”
“That’s not… you idiot… you idiot…”
“…”
“You idiot, Sakuta!”
Large tears spilt from Mai’s eyes as she shouted.
In slow motion, she took the first step.
Mai was running towards him.
Thinking that she would embrace him, Sakuta opened his arms.
Three steps left, two, one… Immediately after that, a slap resounded through the grounds, echoing off into the sky. Sakuta had taken it directly, and was dumbfounded for an instant, then his cheek began to throb belatedly and he understood that even now, Mai had slapped him.
“Eh? Why?”
The plain question left his lips.
“You liar!” Mai glared through tears at him, with an expression that seemed to be about to break down. “You said you’d never forget!”
He finally understood her actions. She certainly had a reason to blame him. Like Mai said, he was a liar.
“I’m sorry.”
Sakuta gently put his arms around Mai as she shook.
With a little hesitation, he strengthened his grip, and Mai buried her face into his shoulder.
“I won’t forgive you…”
Came her muffled voice.
“I’m sorry.”
“I’ll never forgive you…”
Mai rubbed her face into his shoulder as she sniffled.
“I won’t let you go until you forgive me then.”
“Then I won’t forgive you for the rest of my life.”
Her tears were still mixed with her voice.
“Ehh.”
“What, have a problem with that?”
Seeming to have cried herself out, she swallowed her feelings.
“If they were told that by their beautiful senpai, there’s not a man that woul- ow! Mai-san, you’re stepping on my foot!”
“You’ve got some nerve, saying that much to me and not running away.”
“Um, my foot.”
“Aren’t you happy I’m stepping on you?”
“I’m sorry, I’m really sorry. I regret my actions so please forgive me.”
Her grinding her heel into his foot really was painful.
“If you were so scared you would cry, you shouldn’t have used sleeping pills.”
“These tears are just an act to bother you.”
“Then thank you for taking care of me when I was staying up all night.”
“You’re welcome, but I didn’t want to hear your thanks.” Mai’s heel was once more on Sakuta’s foot. “Even though you know what I mean.”
She gradually shifted her weight to that foot.
Sakuta resigned himself and said the words she wanted to hear.
“I love you.”
“Really?”
“That’s a lie, I really love you.”
“…” After a short silence, Mai moved away. She had stopped crying and all that remained were the tracks. “Hey, Sakuta.”
“What.”
“Say that again in a month.”
“Why?”
“If I reply here, I’ll feel like I was overcome by the moment.”
“I wanted a kiss at least in the excitement.”
“My heart’s pounding right now, so it might end up like that kind of thing.”
Mai turned away and spoke in embarrassment. Her reddened face was unbearably cute.
“Mai-san, you’re surprisingly calm.”
She wanted to avoid the suspension bridge effect.
“I’m telling you to think properly too.”
“About what?”
He didn’t think thinking about his feelings towards Mai would do anything now.
“I’m older than you.”
“If anything, that’s a plus.”
“I’m hesitant to date a younger boy.”
“Because I’m not reliable?”
“That’s… not what I mean.” She mumbled something. “If I date a younger boy, isn’t it like I’ve deceived them?”
“You did, so I don’t think you can avoid that.”
“I didn’t deceive you.”
“You’re always tempting me though.”
Now that she thought of it, they had had quite a lot of fun skinship. With her pinching his cheeks, stepping on his feet and the like.
“A-anyway, do you get it?”
“I don’t.”
“Don’t be unreasonable.”
“I can’t wait a month, so can I say it every day?”
Even though she was a little surprised, her face loosened, and she wasn’t as displeased as she’d have him believe.
“That’s okay, but keep it up for the whole month. If you don’t, I’ll consider it as your feelings changing.”
She said and pressed her finger to Sakuta’s nose, smiling teasingly. It was Mai’s smile, that he wanted to keep to himself. He didn’t have a choice now, so he showed everyone.
All of the students watched them in mute, blank amazement. They didn’t know how to react and were looking to the others to see their reactions, making an atmosphere of waiting for a judgement.
“Everyone really likes reading the atmosphere, huh?” Mai laughed cynically as she looked at the school, and then let out a long sigh. “And that rumour about you sending your classmates to hospital! That’s ridiculous!”
She suddenly shouted.
There was an instant of silence. Mai seemed rather proud when she turned around.
“You wanted to tell everyone, right?” Now that she said that, they had spoken about that on the Enoden. They were a little late, but the students closed in on the sports field looking at them in excitement. “…Their reaction is a little different than I expected.”
That was true, they weren’t showing surprise at Mai proclaiming the truth.
“It’s because you’re calling me by my first name with no honourific.” For this moment alone, they weren’t reading the atmosphere and were taking in the scandal before them. They were following their desires, this was certainly adolescence. “They’re paying so much attention to us because of you.”
“What, you’re worried about a mere thousand people? You’re too sensitive.”
It was obviously different for a nationally renowned actress.
“Yeah, I suppose three or four digits isn’t enough for you, Mai-san.”
Finally, Sakuta’s form teacher, the deputy head and a jersey-clad PE teacher came out onto the field to get the clamour under control.
“Man, I’m gonna get a lecture in the staffroom…”
“That’s good isn’t it?”
“How?”
“I’ll be being scolded with you.”
“Well, that ain’t bad.”
At the very least he was able to be with Mai.
Keenly feeling Mai next to him, Sakuta headed to the school building.
Alongside Mai…
And thus, the world took Sakurajima Mai back.
