Chapter 02: The immortal Boy and worrisome everyday Life
The next day.
I naturally looked for Kirisaki after entering the classroom. When I noticed my behaviour, I shook my head wearily. Why should I have to concern myself over her?
Not like I cared about what kind of reaction she would give me.
I tossed my bag on top of my desk while sighing. With the new seating arrangement, I luckily secured a seat by the window. Everyone else had drawn lots for it, but only mine was directly assigned to me by our homeroom teacher. It might have just been done to keep a troublemaker out of sight. Anyway, my passion for studying didn’t go as far as to hog a front seat, so I gladly accepted it.
However, the problem was that Kirisaki sat next to me.
She wasn’t here today, though. Feeling somewhat relieved, I sat down while asking myself why I felt relieved.
The classroom was noisy and somewhat restless before the start of homeroom. But I just looked space-out at the stupid scribbling on the blackboard, whereupon the ruckus suddenly settled down.
Kirisaki had appeared in the entrance.
For the time being, Kirisaki Kyouko was currently the most popular girl in class (amongst boys and girls). During her sham, she was creepily sociable, well-mannered and acted polite towards anyone. Moreover, her features were above average, so her popularity wasn’t all that unreasonable. You would think a few people would get jealous, but fortunately, no one tried to do anything suspicious so far. The main reason for it might be that her boyfriend was me.
“Good morning.”
Calling out to them like that, everyone naturally replied with the same words. A lot of them even said it before her. While Kirisaki replied to every single one of them, she reached my desk.
“Good morning, Node-san.”
“…Yo.”
As always, it was a polite greeting that gave me the shivers.
“Today we have such wonderful weather again.”
“It’s damn hot, though.”
“And how is that a problem? It makes you feel that summer has come.”
It was a common exchange— Or so it should have been, but it felt kind of superficial. Just my imagination?
“Then excuse me now.”
Saying so, Kirisaki sat down next to me. She took out the textbooks from her bag and started to get ready for the first period.
“Hey, Kirisaki.”
“Yes?”
“Why did you snap out of the blue yesterday?”
Her hands stopped. She turned around to me with an unnatural bright smile.
“What are you talking about?”
Like that, she played dumb. I brought my face closer and whispered quietly.
“You know, yesterday. After you beat the shit out of these guys.”
“I have no idea what you are talking about.”
“…What’s wrong with you?”
“Right back at you, Node-san. Why are you insisting on such things? We each had things to do yesterday, so we parted at the school gate, remember? Afterwards we did not talk to each other, much less see each other.”
It seemed like she wasn’t feigning ignorance, but seriously tried to make yesterday’s happening “non-existent”.
“…Fine, whatever. Later, when you left, Haru… that woman from the 《organisation》we met before, came by.”
“If you will excuse me, Node-san, I have to take care of some things.”
She stood up in the middle of our conversation and swiftly went away. Apparently she was on day-duty. She left the classroom with the dust cloth to wipe the blackboard before class starts.
“What’s with her…”
Her attitude was rather strange. Kind of barefaced. She was avoiding me on purpose. Why would she have to do that?
While I was full of confusion, Rin came in, crossing path with Kirisaki. She must have finished her usual morning cleaning before class. Looking over her back and tilting her head, she came over to me. Rin’s seat was diagonally in front of mine.
“Yo.”
“Yeah, morning. Say, Kugi-chan, did something happen?”
“Something? Nah.”
“Really? But Kirisaki-san looked angry.”
Huh? I squinted.
“She’s angry? Why?”
“Don’t ask me… Did you two had a quarrel again?”
I was at a loss for words upon hearing the word “again”.
Previously, during the 《Midnight Killing Devil》 incident, Kirisaki and I had a difference in opinions. No, it wasn’t something that simple— Anyway, it had been Rin, who pushed my back then when I was puzzled about what to do.
“Not really… Or at least I think so.”
“Kirisaki-san wouldn’t get angry for no reason.”
“Actually, she was really angry? It didn’t look like that, though.”
“Mhm. I could somewhat tell by her aura. If I was wrong, all the better…”
Rin placed down her bag and sat down in her chair.
“I don’t think she would get angry over something that offends a normal girl… So it must have been something grave.”
“Something grave, huh…”
I put one elbow on the desk, rested my head on my hand and distantly lost myself in thought. …Mhm, if I had to name something, there was only the thing from yesterday.
“Ah, you have a clue.”
“Well, but that wasn’t anything to get angry about…”
“That’s not for you to decide, Kugi-chan. After all, people tend to overlook things, come to misunderstandings or end up committing terrible mistakes at unexpected occurrences.”
“Is that so?”
“Yeah. Well, it’s my mother’s teaching, though.”
Mhmm. I mumbled consensual and started to rant.
“Well, you know, yesterday…”
“Mm, mm.”
I explained the chain of events to Rin. That said, I couldn’t tell her everything (especially not the part about Kirisaki beating up the delinquents like a berserker), so I only told her up to the point of Kirisaki being taken hostage and me trying to abandon her. Rin’s first reply was:
“You’re at fault, Kugi-chan.”
“…Well, if you think about it, I guess so. But she’s a lot stronger than you think. To the extent that delinquents aren’t a match for her. So I thought it would be alright… you know.”
Rin crossed her arms and grunted for a moment. Then she closed her eyes in thoughts.
“Say, did she mention me before she was angry?”
“Yeah, she did. Something about not being able to take her eyes off you.”
The fact that I was worried about Rin was hard to bring up, so I kept it a secret.
“She also mentioned that she would like to rest in the shadows, right?”
“Yep.”
“How did you reply to that?”
“I said: Oh, is that so.”
“…And then?”
“No, that’s all. I also said how she was a pain for not being clear about what she wanted to say.”
Rin mumbled “I see…” and turned to the side, leaking a small sigh.
“Okay, I get it.”
“Oh, really?”
“Yeah, but I won’t tell you.”
“Huh?”
“I’m not going to say anything. You’ve to figure it out by yourself, Kugi-chan.”
“Not you, too.”
“Me too?”
“Ehm, yeah. Well, an acquaintance told me something similar…”
“Is that so. But I think that person was right.”
“Why!”
I ticked my finger irritated on the desk.
“Figuring things out by myself isn’t my forte.”
It’s nothing to be proud about, but since I was born, I didn’t have friends, so I’ve no clue about the subtleties of the human heart. Seriously nothing to be proud about, just laughable.
“Then here’s a hint. Kirisaki-san might be mentally strong, smart and know a lot of things… But she’s just a girl.”
“And that’s a hint? Isn’t that obvious?”
“I think you’re close to the truth.”
I wracked my brain while saying “Huh?”. No, I was irritated. Why did I have to be so troubled over Kirisaki?
“C’mon, spare me the trifles and tell me. I don’t have the slightest clue.”
“Nope. If you’re going out with her, you’ve to figure it out and solve it by yourself.”
Then Rin said whispering.
“…Besides, it would be frustrating to kindly tell you everything.”
“What?”
“Nothing. Anyway, thing about it carefully.”
…Geez, how unusual of her. Normally Rin would meddlesome tell me all kind of things.
Well, relying too much on her kindness would be problematic too.
“…Still, Kirisaki-san doesn’t have to be so concerned about me.”
“Right.”
“Yeah, after all, she has a proper boyfriend that worries about her.”
No, that wasn’t really the case.
“She’s really lucky…”
Before I could say anything back to Rin, the chime heralded the beginning of class.
Kirisaki still didn’t look at me, even after she came back.
In the end, I didn’t find an answer after pondering the whole time. Aww, that’s why dealing with people is such a pain. Although I brought it upon myself.
Kirisaki always went home together with me no matter how annoyed, but today of all days, she left as soon as the last class ended, after she gave me a glance with a baffling face.
So I had no alternative, but to part with Rin, who was going to pick up trash in the nearby public park, and go home.
A matter you had not the slightest clue about how to resolve felt like a turbulent mist in your chest. I knew a way to clear it, but not how to achieve it.
“…Aww”
Leaking a unmeaning voice, I reached my house.
I tried to open the front door with my key… when I noticed that it was already unlocked.
“Sis? Are you home?”
Taking off my shoes, I went into the house and heard a voice from the living room.
“I’m home!”
“It’s rare for you to be back so early.”
I walked down the hallway and pulled the door curtain away. My sister was eating instant noodles.
“Nothing big was going on, so I left early. There are days like this.”
“That’s all fine, but you’re eating that stuff again.”
“It’s a new flavour!!”
“So what?”
“Eh? It’s enough reason.”
My sister answered while slurping the noodles.
“No, it’s not.”
“But…”
“But what?”
“It’s a new flavour.”
“You’re gravely mistaken if you think I’ll accept it just because you repeat it.”
“I’m surprised how unexpectedly serene you are. You sure have grown… Even though you peed on me when I changed your diapers in the past.”
“That was long ago!”
“For me, you’ll always be the same…”
“That might sound cool, but I won’t be fooled.”
She openly clicked her tongue. Then she even slurped up the soup.
“No dinner for you when you’re already eating now.”
“No worries, I’m still growing.”
“I don’t consider putting on a few stone as growing.”
A bamboo sprout came flying at me.
“Don’t throw just your hated food at me! Or rather, don’t waste food!”
“I’m not wasting it. It’s still eatable. For you.”
“Even if I’ve to push you onto the ground, I’ll shove it into your mouth.”
“What a dreadful remark… Nothing less from the man, who peed on an innocent girl.”
“Too misleading!”
Of course she got a chop.
“Oww! Wat‘cha doing! In the first place, you speak about dinner, but you weren’t even shopping!”
“Eh? …Ah.”
I only noticed it when she pointed it out. It seemed to have forgotten to buy ingredients for dinner, since I had been spaced out.
“Damn…”
“What, you forgot? How rare. Even though you remember the smallest things well enough to be called a nitpicker despite looking like a hoodlum.”
Was I that deep in thoughts? Damn…
“…Did something happen?”
My sister asked me, who had sit down in the chair with a sigh.
“No, it’s not worth mentioning.”
“Had a fight with Kirisaki-san?”
“…Hey, how does my slump equals trouble with Kirisaki?”
“It doesn’t?”
No, it does…
“Not so much a fight.”
“Come on, tell your dear sister.”
I was hesitant and kept silent for a bit, but I was already clutching at any straw. It would be bad for my mental health if I kept worrying by myself.
I talked to her with leaving things out like with Rin.
“…That’s what happened. According to Kuon, she was angry, but I don’t really see anything that could’ve made her angry.”
“Nah, of course she got angry.”
My sister said quite indifferent.
“Being abandoned by your own boyfriend is quite harsh.”
“Well, true, but she… ehm, she’s versed in martial arts and strong, you know.”
“Even then, you’re still at fault.”
…Grr. Since I couldn’t tell her about our unique relationship, it certainly must appear that everything was my fault.
“…But that doesn’t seem to be the reason.”
“Not?”
“Yeah, well, I haven’t talked that much to her either, but I think that Kirisaki-san also understands why you did that. She’s that kind of girl. The real problem was probably the latter.”
“The latter?”
“Treating Kuon-san kindly and so on.”
“It’s not like I was treating her kindly…”
“Now, now. Your own intentions aside, let me spell it out for you.”
“…Okay.”
I inadvertently leaned forward. My sister came face to face with me and said a single word.
“Jealousy.”
“…Jealousy?”
It was an unfamiliar word.
“Well, it might not go as far as jealously. Saying she’s sulking would be more appropriate.”
“What do you mean?”
“You sure are dense.”
Affecting a sigh, my sister said.
“Listen. If her boyfriend is being nice to someone else besides her, of course she’s going to mind it. And you even went a step further. She told you that she was in the same situation as Kuon-san, but you replied with ‘Oh, is that so’. Seriously, are you mocking her?”
“No, I wasn’t…”
To begin with, she wasn’t the type to suffer from something like a heatstroke.
“You just don’t get it.”
My sister strongly hit on the table.
“Listen, you just don’t get it.”
She said it twice.
“Sure, Kirisaki-san just might be like you described her, a type that doesn’t need others to worry about her. But that’s completely unrelated to whether she wants them or not. It could even be the reason why she purposefully got caught by these delinquents.”
“Huh? What? That too?”
“Most likely. She’s also a girl after all. There are times when she wants her boyfriend to worry about her. Yet you’re only paying attention to Kuon-san and neglect Kirisaki-san. She must have thought that you would worry a bit if she gets caught by delinquents.”
“Ridiculous.”
She was doing stuff like that?
“Chop!”
My sister released her fist onto me.
“…Sis, that was obviously a punch just now.”
“Don’t sweat the details. Of course Kirisaki-san herself doesn’t consider it possible. But I guess she thought ‘What if?’, even if only for a bit. That’s what a maiden in love is all about.”
“Maiden in love?”
I banged my head on the table with my hands.
“So annooooying.”
“You’re getting a headlock next.”
“I- I’m sorry.”
I looked up to the ceiling.
“Man, so it’s like that…”
“Don’t say that. Isn’t it cute.”
“So, what am I supposed to do? Do I just have to apologize?”
My sister crossed her arms and tilted her head.
“Let’s see, I don’t think she’s still angry… On the contrary, she might feel sorry for being strangely obstinate. But you’re lacking a chance to make up. That means you need some kind of impulse.”
“Impulse?”
“An impulse that allows you both to relax and naturally admit your wrongdoings to each other.”
“I see. What should I do?”
“Why don’t you think for yourself a bit?”
“I wracked my brain already. Spare me any more.”
“You’re such a hopeless little brother…”
My sister raised her gaze in thought with a wry smile.
After a while, she clapped her hands with “Oh, I know”.
“It’s simple.”
“Yeah?”
She firmly pointed her finger at me and—
“Ask her out on a date! Tomorrow even!”
declared something outrageous.
The annoyingly blue sky sopped up the cheers that resounded at times.
The splashes of water sounded refreshing and the occasionally approaching waves cooled my hot body.
At the very edge in the sixth track of the 25m pool.
I was making myself comfortable apart from my merry classmates.
Usually it was common for swimming lessons to turn gender-segregated in high school.
However, here at Meitou Academy only the very first swimming lesson was a co-ed water ball tournament.
That said, it ended a little while ago and now we had free time.
Boys and girls alike gathered here and there, made a ruckus, talked at the pool side or communicated with each other in some kind of other way. Of course there were groups with just boys or girls too, but most of them were co-ed groups and gave off the atmosphere of a mixer. Our school had a high tolerance towards relationships with the other gender, maybe the doing of the principal, and situations like this took place nonchalantly. Some people even came to this school because of that and thus the number of students here was secured. In my opinion, there wasn’t a need for a public school to go that far and a lot of problems should arise because of it, but seeing as there hadn’t been any complaints, it seemed to somehow work out well.
Nonetheless, it wasn’t a happy recreation for me, who didn’t have any friends, let alone acquaintances and was rather spending a “dark winter of life” instead of the “springtime of life” according to my sister.
I was just spacing out without doing anything. Rin was in my field of vision. She was taking a break from her sport appointee duties and sitting under the sun by grasping her knees. When our eyes met, she waved her hand lightly at me. I replied with a short nod, whereupon she now pointed her index finger somewhere. I frowned, while she seemed to poke at the empty air. She might be trying to tell me to look that way. I faced there like I was told and blinked.
Diagonally across there was Kirisaki.
Well, we were in the same class, so it was to be expected and during the earlier ball tournament I saw her performing well, albeit making mistakes from time to time… But I was surprised to see her all by herself. I had thought for sure she would be talking to someone.
She was sitting by the pool side with her chin resting on her raised leg, showing a listless expression. It was different than usual. She replied to classmates, who occasionally called out to her, with a smile, but once they were gone, she returned to being listless.
I shifted my gaze back to Rin. She was eagerly pointing in Kirisaki’s direction and beckoning me with her chin.
“…What?”
Even while mumbling that, I recalled my conversation with my sister yesterday.
—It might not go as far as jealously. Saying she’s sulking would be more appropriate.
Sulking, huh…
Good Heavens!
She and I are a couple. We certainly decided to look like that.
However, to repeat myself, that was only feigned.
After the events with the 《organisation》, I decided to accompany Kirisaki with her atonement from beginning to end.
But that happened partly out of pity. …No, that wasn’t quite right. I simply couldn’t act like nothing had happened after I got to know about it. It was such a selfish reasoning.
Therefore I wasn’t having any romantic feelings towards her and it should be the same for her.
“Geez…”
Fully grasping people’s feelings was impossible. Half could be comprehended, but the other half was simply wishfulness and presumption. I remembered hearing that from my sister before.
Kirisaki had her own emotions, her own thoughts and feelings. She lived in accordance with them.
I had thought to understand that…
I cracked my neck and got away from the wall I had been leaning onto and moved through the water with its resistance.
I swam, cautious not to bump into anyone on the way.
I lowered my goggles that I had put up and dived silently. When I opened my eyes, I saw a lot of legs that looked like roots of trees in the wavy blue space.
I slowly and cautiously swam on.
At the same time my hand touched the wall, I crouched down on the spot.
And then—
“WRAAR!”
I suddenly shot out of the water with attitude.
“Hiii!?”
Kirisaki, showered in water, was surprised as I had never seen her before and tumbled backwards like that.
“Oh, it worked.”
While combing my hair back, I raised the corners of my mouth.
“Th- The heck’re you doing!”
Kirisaki quickly got back up and glared at me while pressing onto her chest.
“You’re like a tumbler. By the way, you’re speaking in the raw, you don’t mind?”
“…Eh, Ah, y- you are so mean, Node-san!”
“Be at ease. No one else is around at the moment.”
When I said so while getting out of the pool, Kirisaki looked around and made a sigh of relief.
“Anyway, you must’ve been one heck of surprised to go ‘Hii’.”
“Anyone would if a guy with a face like big foot suddenly comes out of the water.”
“How rude. Actually, have you ever seen big foot?”
“I have. There was an article in the monthly occult magazine ‘Atlantis’ with the header ‘The real one! The legendary Big Foot was finally caught!’. There was a picture as well, so there’s no doubt.”
“At least realize that the magazine itself is dubious.”
Kirisaki screwed up her nose on my pointer, then hugged her knees with her wet hairs and stared down on the water surface.
Without any words to keep the conversation going, I looked at her.
…Still.
Considering the place we were at, Kirisaki obviously wore a swimsuit. The school one was blunt, but showed the body lines clearly. Like that, I became conscious of it— if I wanted or not. For example, well… if you follow the line downwards the nape of her neck, there come two hills. No, rather them calling them hills, it might be better to call them mountains at this size. They got a peak too after all. What am I trying to joke around here for?
That reminded me, Kirisaki had said something about “I’m quite famous when I take off my clothes” previously. At that time, I thought the idiot was being idiotic by saying idiotic stuff again, but when I looked at her like this… I realized that it wasn’t necessarily a lie. For one thing the twin mountains, for another thing her firm waist from training and her comparatively juicy thighs. It was quite, how can I say, my preferred—
“Kugito.”
“Hiii!?”
“…What’s wrong?”
“N- Nothing.”
“Really? That sounded like a really surprised scream, though.”
“It’s really nothing. Yeah, nothing. Seriously.”
You hear that, myself.
…Watch out. That’s Kirisaki you’re thinking about, myself. Get a grip. That’s Kirisaki. Ki.ri.sa.ki. Yeah, I somehow calmed down. It worked like a spell. That’s Kirisaki. I’ll call it the password for a come-back.
“Well, if you say so… Anyway, do you want something from me?”
“Ah, well, not quite.”
After I said so whitewashing, I scratched the top of my nose.
“You see, somehow… you’re being weird lately.”
“…That’s not true.”
“Yeah? Good then.”
I looked up to the scorching sun above my head. …..Mhm.
After staying silent for a while like that, I suddenly called out to her with “Hey”.
“What?”
“Could it be… you’re sulking?”
Kirisaki widened her eyes and instantly flushed her face.
“I- Idiot!”
Right after she said that, everyone turned to us, so she quickly covered her mouth. Next she smoothed it over with her usual sham by smiling and whispered towards me.
“What nonsense are you saying…”
“So, you’re not sulking?”
“Wh- Why would I have to sulk?”
“That’s what I want to know. Why’re you sulking?”
“Like I said, I’m not sulking.”
“Then why’re you in a bad mood?”
“I’m… not in a bad mood either.”
“In denial, huh… You know, I don’t really care either way, but when your attitude changes so obviously, it’s bugging.”
“…”
Kirisaki pursed her lips upon my words and faced forwards.
“Why concern yourself with it, if you do not care either way?”
“There you go sulking again.”
“I said I’m not sulking.”
“Seriously…”
Making a sigh, I lied down.
“To begin with, you would usually show off your swimsuit and ask stuff like ‘How is it? Does it turn you on?’.”
“You want me to say that?”
“Yep.”
When I affirmed, Kirisaki flushed her cheeks red after saying “Wha–!”.
“…I just wondered what you would do if I said that.”
“Bastard…”
Kirisaki reflexively reached out for her thigh, but needless to say, the knife wasn’t there.
“Too bad for you.”
Having no idea how to kill off her boiling urge, Kirisaki mumbled an “Uhh” and stuck her head between her raised knees.
“…If you aren’t sulking, are you angry?”
“No.”
“Then what?”
I said with a slightly forceful tone.
“Put your cards on the table already. If I’ve done anything wrong, I’ll apologize or whatever. Though only if I indeed was wrong.”
“…It’s not like you were wrong.”
“Then, are you? Are you depressed from reflecting over it?”
“I guess, ultimately it comes to that… but”
“But?”
“You’re a bit at fault too.”
…What the.
“I say you’re at fault, but it’s not like you were entirely wrong, kind of…”
Kirisaki gave an unusual inarticulate answer as her feelings were too complex.
“…Oh boy.”
Saying so, I placed my hand on top of her head.
“Are you free this coming Sunday?”
“? What do you mean?”
“Let’s talk properly about which of us is at fault. After we watched a movie or so.”
Kirisaki blinked.
“A movie… on Sunday? With you?”
“Well, if you don’t want to, forget it. But I don’t want this vague unpleasant situation to go on. I would rather invest some time and clear it up.”
“Well, you have a point, but… why a movie?”
“That’s…”
Damn. So far everything went smoothly, so I overlooked this contradiction. There was no way I could tell her it was because my sister said “Ask her out on a date”.
“Well, my grandma was standing by my bed last night and said she couldn’t go to heaven unless I go watch a movie…”
“I don’t see the connection between your grandmother going to heaven and you seeing a movie, though…”
“Actually, the fortune-telling on TV this morning said I would be cursed if I don’t go see a movie.”
“Isn’t that more of a threat than a fortune-telling?”
“…..”
“…..”
I was out of ideas.
“Anyway, a movie! A movie, you hear! We’re going to watch a movie! I want to see one, okay! Got a problem?”
I said, kind of snapping even though I brought it up.
For me, a resting day was literally a day to rest.
After getting up later than usual in the morning, I bang on the door of my sister’s room to wake her up and take her to the bathroom. Then I make breakfast and do some laundry… After all that, I have free time until evening, so I just laze around. I never went outside to have fun. I couldn’t understand why anyone would purposefully do something exhausting on a holiday.
However, right now I was waiting at the fountain plaza in front of the Meitou Station.
As the shopping district was near, the place was rather crowded. Youngsters my age or slightly above gathered here and there, chatting happily. I was surprised how they could stay so energetically in this damn heat, but realized that right now I was one of them.
I stood there for a while, whereupon a familiar figure appeared from far away. It was Kirisaki. When she noticed me, she came rushing over.
“Yo.”
“…Mm.”
Normally she would stab me as a greeting, but today she wasn’t getting ready to do that. Not like I was looking forward to that. Seriously. No kidding. I’ve to make this clear for my dignity.
“…..”
“…..”
An awkward silence.
Now then— I went through my simulation in my head once more.
This morning my sister spotted me sharp sighted when I was getting ready to leave, and said to me.
“A date? It’s a date? You’re going on a date?”
Ignoring my denial, she nodded to herself with “So you’re finally listen to my advice honestly now!”, then
“But knowing you, you’ll only make things worse than before from some kind of screw up. Listen to your sister’s advice carefully and implement it.”
I got detailed instructions about “how to fix the girlfriend’s mood with a date”, even though I hadn’t asked for it. …She didn’t even have a boyfriend herself.
Well, whatever. Anyway, advice #1.
“Compliment her clothes as soon as you meet. Anything will do. Like it’s cute or anything similar. Doing that will already influence the later development.”
Wondering if it really worked like that, I said.
“…Hey, Kirisaki.”
“What?”
“Your clothes… ehm, are cute?”
“What’re you asking me that for…”
Right.
“…Well, you see. Ehm, your clothes… are… you know, ehm… positive!”
“That’s your idea of appreciating clothes?”
Yes, it was impossible for me. Damn it. Ehm, advice #2 is…
“The next important thing is to keep a conversation going. Any topic is fine, just talk about it happily, because once the conversation dies and the silence drags on, it tends to get awkward.”
…Mhm, well, that much is obvious. A topic…
“At any rate.”
“Mm?”
“…At any rate.”
“Mm.”
“Ehm… At any rate!”
“Mm?”
“…At any rate, I mean.”
“…Mm.”
Did that count as a conversation?
“D- Did you watch TV yesterday?”
“No, just the news on the internet. What did you watch?”
“…Sorry, I hardly ever watch TV.”
What am I raising the subject for then?
Damn, it were all fruitless efforts.
There was no way we could relax like that.
Whatever. Let’s just get over with it. After the movie, we’ll naturally have a conversation about the content without doubt. Afterwards I’ll just get smoothly to the topic at hand.
“…What’s up, Kugito? You’re being strange.”
“Just your imagination. Alright, let’s get going to the movie.”
I averted my eyes from Kirisaki’s puzzled face and started walking quickly.
…In the long run, the choice of “watching a movie” wasn’t wrong.
However, it wasn’t right either.
The narration said “The Bear on screen. For his precious friends, for his dear lover and to protect all these that shoulder grief— The most popular stuffed animal in Japan ‘Bearzawa’ from the Talking Bear series, staged by Breaker’s director Beeven Grayer in full CG animation. The ultimate survival action romance movie with a stuffed animal. Soon in your cinema! Have you seen true love—?”
A preview of the coming works was shown at the entrance of the cinema with a huge projector. …Into what kind of world was that Bear going to jump?
No, that didn’t matter now. I said to Kirisaki next me.
“…Are you okay?”
“Yeah, I’m fine.”
Contrary to her words, she was unsteady on her feet and restless.
Her face was lightly flushed and her eyes a bit blank.
Maybe we should have gone somewhere more unconstrained after all. I regretted it a bit, no, regretted it quite a lot.
At first, Kirisaki and I were supposed to watch the new instalment of a run-of-the-mill action series. They were showing a romance or adolescent one too, and Kirisaki seemed to be fine with these as well, but I wasn’t particular interested, so I decided against it. However, that principally turned out to be my biggest mistake.
It was Sunday noon and the only large movie theatre in the area, so there was a long line in front of the ticket shop. We waited orderly, although fed up, and our turn finally came around, but the ticket vendor gave us an unexpected statement.
“I beg your pardon, the 2:15 o’clock showing for ‘Battle Crusher Ryuuga 5′ you requested is already sold out.”
Until just recently you could get a standing place even when the showing was sold out, but nowadays cinemas changed to a sitting only system and standing was forbidden in most. The same was true for here. And to add to our bad luck, the other shows also sold out while we stood in line.
I thought about giving up the movie, but we came all the way here. When I asked if there were tickets left for some other movie, the vendor answered like this.
“Just for one.”
“Then that’ll have to do. What’s the name?”
After lightly tapping the touch panel at his hands, he looked up and showed a business smile.
“‘Ripper Jack vs. Jason Voorhees’, Sir.”
Not good, crossed my mind.
I was convinced that watching it nevertheless was my mistake.
Ripper Jack vs. Jason Voorhees was a trite panic horror movie. Although made in Hollywood, it was a stereotypical movie that only tried everything to scare the audience. A normal person would call it an easy-going movie that you could watch by turning off your brain.
However, Kirisaki was different.
She felt sexual pleasure from killing or wounding someone. For someone like her, scenes of people getting mangled with knifes or getting cut into pieces with a hatchet were like a porn. And seeing that for nearly two hours seemed to have upset Kirisaki’s spirit a bit.
“Well… Sorry. We shouldn’t have watched it after all.”
“I don’t… mind. I didn’t stop you, knowing what kind of movie it is… I’m at fault too.”
Saying so haltingly, Kirisaki made a coquettish sigh.
“…For now, let’s sit down on that bench.”
So she said, but seeing as she wasn’t even able to walk properly, I inevitable took her by the hand.
“Sorry.”
“Don’t fret it. Let’s rest for a bit.”
After letting her sit on the bench in the shadows, I bought sports drinks at a nearby vending machine. I sat down next to her and handed her one.
“Thanks…”
Kirisaki mumbled, opened the lid and drank a bit.
“…You sure have a troublesome habitude.”
Kirisaki made a little wry smile with “Certainly”.
“…But why didn’t you say anything? You didn’t know it would turn out like this?”
“No… I knew, but”
“But?”
“Well…”
While trying to cool down her face even a bit by holding the can against her cheek, she mumbled.
“…Because I somewhat admired it.”
“Admired?”
“I mean—”
She averted her eyes and whispered with a small voice.
“Watching a movie with my boyfriend… I admired that kind of situation.”
I inadvertently spouted out the juice.
“What? You’ve a problem with it?”
“No… not really.”
That was exactly what a teenager girl would say. Well, she IS a teenager girl.
“What can I do, I never did anything together with anyone before.”
“…Guess so. My bad.”
Feeling guilty over how inconsiderate I was, I lowered my head a bit. To punish herself for her forbidding fate, Kirisaki had lived in solitude up till now. Therefore she had not a single experience of a normal teenager girl. Due to that, an innocent maiden side came to the surface from time to time, contrary to her usual behaviour. That surely was her true self.
Still, what now… She was in no state to have a talk.
For the time being, I should let her go home merciful—
Just when I thought so, my sleeve was suddenly pulled.
“…Mh? What’s up?”
I asked— whereupon Kirisaki looked at me and said.
“Kugito, forgive me. I’m… at my limit.”
Her eyes, looking up to me, were damp. Her cheeks were flushed like during a fever and her hand was entwined around my arm like she was asking for something. …Even without a hunch, I knew this was bad.
“No, hold it. The sun’s still up… wait, I’m only making it worse. Anyway, don’t, okay?”
“M- Meanie…”
“Stop with the misleading remarks!”
What am I supposed to do here!?
“Well, I need to calm down a bit… It would be troublesome if my underwear gets wet again after changing.”
Your statements are troublesome!!
“F- For now, calm down. Okay?”
“In order for me to calm down, why don’t we go into the shadows over there…?”
“That’ll make me lose my calm though…”
Kirisaki stood up slowly. Still grabbing my arm, she forcefully pulled me along.
“Kirisaki! Hold it! Seriously, stop! Think this over! Let’s talk it out, okay?”
Like that, I was dragged towards a back alley between two buildings. This girl wasn’t listening at all.
“N- Nooo!”
My scream was in vain too.
As soon as we entered the back alley, I was merciless tossed away.
Furthermore, Kirisaki flipped her skirt and drew her knife at the same time. Then she got on top of me, who was lying down face-up. Deja vu! I’m getting a deja vu!
Kirisaki exerted a strength that you wouldn’t expect from her slender build. She forcefully pushed me down as I was trying to resists and showed a gruesome smile. A deja vu alright!
“…Forgive me, Kugito.”
At the same time Kirisaki mumbled that—
My body was stabbed without hesitation, first in the stomach.
“Guh”
This nightmare again after a long time!
Without even time for such thoughts—
In the next moment, a stabbing show like raging billows started.
I must have been stabbed a dozen times.
I couldn’t be certain, because I stopped counting midway after growing tired of it.
After stabbing my arms, stomach and chest right and left as she pleased, I thought it was finally over, but Kirisaki unbelievably spouted “Now that got me started”, so my brain stopped paying attention to the reality before my eyes at this point.
I no longer felt the commonplace emotion called pain. To begin with, pain was something like a signal to warn oneself about harm to the body, so once the situation crossed the initial goal of “alerting”, it might just cut off. At least in my case.
Anyway— When I came back to my senses, everything was over. Just like that.
In front of my eyes was Kirisaki, splattered in blood and breathing roughly. Speaking of, how does she plan to get home? Although our current society might be corrupted, I wouldn’t think it was so bad that a high school girl dyed in fresh blood could walk around unperturbed. Wait, was this really the time to worry about that? … As frightening as it sounds, I might have grown accustomed to her.
“Feel better now?”
When I asked, Kirisaki’s eyes staring into empty space became focused. The expression “returning to one’s senses” fit this perfectly.
“…Kugito…”
She answered with feeble voice. She looked down at her hand, which was still holding the blood drenched knife. After she alternating looked at me and the knife, she closed her eyes and mumbled.
“…I held back as much as possible.”
Well, knowing her, she certainly did held back.
“For now, get off.”
Kirisaki obediently obeyed my request and got off me, slumping down next to me. I stood up and took my clothes that lay on the side. My wounds hadn’t healed yet, but they weren’t bleeding anymore.
I put on my shirt, then my jacket. In the meantime, Kirisaki looked at me with a side-glance and had an exhausted expression. That reminded me, I was on bad terms with Kirisaki lately, where we didn’t even get to talk. She might have released everything that had piled up so far.
“Are you okay?”
While I asked that, I was shocked about myself for this completely inappropriate question. I should be more concerned about the well-being of my own body.
Kirisaki nodded wordless.
“…Sorry.”
“Well… I won’t tell you it’s okay, but this time I also reap what I sow.”
I should’ve somewhat predicted this development. It was all due to my carelessness.
“In that way, you aren’t solely at fault.”
“Sorry…”
“No, like I said—”
“Not just about now.”
Kirisaki said quietly while still looking down.
“I’m sorry for acting so weird the last few days.”
“Well, that…”
I was confused at the unexpected development.
An impulse that allows you both to relax and naturally admit your wrongdoings to each other.
I remembered my sister’s words.
…I see. So things went according to plan, albeit in a queer way.
Although I got the feeling that the price I paid for it was too high— For the time being, all’s well.
“…Well, I also, kind of, went too far, yeah.”
When I said that, Kirisaki looked at me. But she immediately averted her gaze again.
“No… You aren’t at fault.”
“Don’t be so fussy. Let’s just say I was at fault too.”
“No.”
Kirisaki shook her head powerless. When I frowned doubtful, she continued after a while.
“You did nothing wrong. Sure, you and I are boyfriend and girlfriend. However, that’s only in front of others. As a matter of fact, I’m not allowed to have romantic feelings for you.”
I know that, she mumbled.
“Whichever way you look at it, I’m a murderer. The most worthless, disgusting and worst kind of human. I cannot fall in love with anyone. I knew that… when I came to know about my true nature.”
Kirisaki spoke indifferent.
“So even when I started dating you, I kept telling that to myself. I’m taking advantage of you. But you stayed by my side despite that. So I thought it was fine just like that. We cannot be lovers, let alone friends. But someone was accepting my true self. I believed that was enough for me.
…Yet— Despite that, I suddenly found myself acting like a normal student sometimes when I talked with you, which worried me. Of course I denied it right away and scolded myself, tucking away these feelings in the back of my heart.”
Nevertheless—
Her voice gradually became emotional.
“…It’s strange. I should’ve kept them under wraps, but before I noticed, I was thinking the same stuff somewhere in my heart again. Even though I’ve no right to, even though just thinking about it is a sin… even though I understand it in my head.”
She looked up to me.
“When I saw you being nice to Kuon Rin, a detestable feeling arose within me. That is, why wasn’t it me? That is, why won’t you do anything for me? Stupid, isn’t it?
What arrogance. A feeling so unsavoury that it would be presumptuous to call it selfishness.”
Holding the knife with both hands, she pressed it into her chest.
“That’s why I ended up doing that. I figured that I had to make you worry, so that you would turn to me even just a bit—”
Then she showed a dry smile.
“…What’s up?”
“Don’t you think it’s cute?”
She closed her eyes. At that time, a small drop of water fell down from her eyelid, ran down her cheek and dropped onto the ground.
“Just like—”
She said with a feeble voice while shaking.
“—Just like a normal girl.”
She whispered with a stiff voice.
“This never happened before. I could always stifle myself before. So… I didn’t know what to do. How do I interact with you? I got the feeling that if things go on like this, I will definitely head in a direction that I’m not supposed to—”
“You…”
I didn’t know how to respond to that.
No one ever confronted me with their feelings so directly like this.
Nor did anyone seek my existence to such an extent.
If Kirisaki were a normal girl— what would I do? Accept her? Push her away? Or brush it off evasively? …Either way, it would surely have turned into a run-off-the-mill development from a romance movie afterwards.
However, Kirisaki was different.
It wasn’t a problem about simple feelings like love or hate.
She must start to face this feeling, which she ended up with, from now on. I believe that she continued to suffer and conflict with it until now.
Then, how— am I going to respond to her?
Think, Node Kugito.
This is the path you chose.
To accompany Kirisaki Kyouko in any way, shape or form from beginning to end, no matter what awaits.
“…..”
I kept silent for a long time. In the meantime, I wracked my brain. I kept doing so endless.
And then, I approached Kirisaki and sat cross-legged besides her.
“…Uhm, you know.”
While scratching my head, I somehow put my unsorted feeling into words.
“If you don’t know what to do— You can only worry until you do, can’t you?”
“…What, do you mean?”
“Like you said, you might be the worst. But you aren’t making any excuses like having an inevitable reason. Therefore… I think it’s okay for you to lose your way a bit.”
I kept going on, albeit knowing how clumsy it sounded.
“So, uhm, well… as long as you don’t choose ‘to run away’ or give up thinking, then I think it’s at least alright to worry about what to do.”
Kirisaki listened in silence. I continued.
“You said you always stifled it, but that’s probably not it. You only became negligent. Living alone sure is tiresome, but in a way, it’s also easier not to concern yourself with others.”
For example, my current self. Spending every day aimlessly in a state, where I didn’t know if I was alive or dead.
“…Such a lifestyle won’t get you anything, but it won’t make you lose anything either. There are people, who’re fine with that, like myself. But you’re trying to break away from that, right? In that case, it’s only natural that it’ll be tough.”
When someone, who lived an abnormal life, tried to live a normal life, obstacles were bound to occur. Reasoning stopped everyone at a certain line. And those, who ended up crossing that line, couldn’t return so easily, even if they wanted to out of regret. There was always a wall that prevented it, which is how it should be.
“…But I don’t think that those, who don’t reflect about themselves, have any right to lament about their actions. Judgement will just be passed on them one-sided. But you’re different. So… Don’t give up from the start and properly worry until you find an answer.”
“But… that might take a long time.”
“I’ll wait. I promised you to be with you.”
“The answer I find might not necessarily be right.”
“You’re looking not for the right answer.”
I placed my hand on Kirisaki’s lowered head.
“In other words, what matters is to settle things for yourself.”
“…What if it turns out twisted?”
“That won’t happen.”
I declared.
“I know you. Not the 《Midnight killing Devil》. Nor the girl who puts on a superficial smile at school. But the human called Kirisaki Kyouko. So I can say this: You won’t do anything to deceive yourself.”
Slowly standing up, I looked down at her.
“So think for yourself until you find your own answer about what to do.”
Kirisaki looked up at me. She muttered with narrowed eyes.
“…When I find my answer— will you let me hear your reply?”
I kept my mouth shut for a moment upon her question. I scratched my cheek and averted my eyes.
“Well— To be honest, I’m not sure how to react, because I don’t often get someone to bare everything about oneself to me like this.”
Nevertheless, I made a wry smile and said at least this.
“…Well, I’ll also think about what to do when that time comes.”
“For sure.”
Kirisaki finally smiled. A smile from the bottom of her heart that she won’t show to anyone besides me.
“…Thanks, Kugito.”
I gave a vague reply like Mm or Uh-huh. …Why was it so awkward?
“F- For now, act like before. Being meek is all fine, but it’s hard to deal with.”
“…Yeah, right. Sorry.”
“Well, as long as you understand.”
Kirisaki stood up slowly. Looking at my body, she smiled wryly.
“But I have to say, I really went a bit too far this time.”
“Oh, I’m partly at fault too, so don’t fret it.”
“No, that won’t work. It’s not just about today. I felt I had to thank you for everything up till now.”
“Thank?”
“Mm…”
Kirisaki looked around restlessly. Beyond the back alley, there was a fast food restaurant from a famous chain.
“How about I treat you to lunch there?”
Was my life worth a hamburger set?
“I’m getting kinda sad…”
“…No, I was just joking.”
Kirisaki made a bittersweet smile, then pondered for a while with her head tilted.
However, she suddenly clapped her hands with “I know”.
“We will go to a hotel now and you can have your way with me.”
“Yay, thanks! … If that’s the answer you’re expecting from me, I will give you a good long speech about what kind of guy I am.”
“But I thrust my knife in you, so you can thrust in me too and we will be ‘thrust buddies’…”
“Stop with the puns.”
After I said that, I dealt a blow with my fist onto her head.
“Ow!”
“Enough nonsense. We’re going home. …But before that, clothes.”
I threw Kirisaki my jacket.
“…? What?”
“Have you seen yourself? My jacket is big, so you can hide the blood with it. Just button up the front. And your skirt won’t stand out, since it got a sober colour.”
Saying so, I turned on my heel and started walking. I heard Kirisaki following behind me.
At any rate, it somehow came to an amicable… amicable? Well, reconcilable solution. It felt like a weight had been taken off my shoulders.
That said, I got the feeling that the problems increased rather than being solved— But oh well. I won’t sweat the details.
At least for now.
“…Now onto the next news.”
When we walked for a while after leaving the back alley, we got back in front of the cinema from before.
The huge projector there wasn’t showing previews anymore, but the evening news now.
“Yesterday night, in the gray of the morning, a policeman on patrol found Mifune Kaori-san, a local high school girl, collapsed on the street. Mifune-san was brought to the hospital, but passed away soon afterwards. She had signs of being strongly hit on the head with a blunt object and it’s believed to be directly related to her passing. There were no traces of a robbery, so the police is investigating under the assumption of a murder-orientated random assault. Furthermore, the incident took place not far away from a similar case the other day, which leads the mass media to the opinion that we are dealing with the same criminal, but the police spokesman has not confirmed that in it’s entirety.”
Again?, I thought, because the case sounded familiar. It happened when society started to calm down after the news about the arrest of the 《Midnight killing Devil》.
Just like the news reported, a high school girl was found beaten to death in the same way as the current incident. The point of no robbery was also the same. If it really was the same criminal, then more would get killed from now on…?
For some reason or another, I watched the news, whereupon the two girls of my age in uniforms, who had walked by near, stopped and started talking to each other.
“Oh, again.”
“Again what?”
“The news just now. There was a similar case before, remember. A girl was beaten to death.”
“Yeah…?”
“Yep! Maybe it’s true after all…”
“What, what?”
“Well, I only read it on the internet, too.”
“Mh-mm.”
“What was it again… Ah, right, 《Death Eater Clown》. It said it’s a really scary and big guy that only goes after high school girls.”
“Huh, a weirdo?”
“Not a weirdo, but a phantom. Like, there’s this rumour that this guy also did the previous incident.”
“Eh. Why?”
“Don’t know. The reason’s unknown.”
“Kinda scary.”
“Well, it’s just a rumour, though.”
“I hope so…”
The two stopped their chatting and left.
Desu Iitaa Kuraun…? What the. Desu meant Death and Iitaa was Eater alright, but Kuraun… A crown, so a prince? Or not?
“《Death Eater Clown》, huh… I thought it would just stay gossip, but that’s some unexpected development.”
Kirisaki muttered. I looked at her.
“《Death Eater Clown》?”
“An urban legend in the same league as the slit mouthed woman, the dog with a human face or the Tsukuba Robot. When the same crime happened before like the news just reported, it became a rumour on the internet.”
“What’s with the Tsukuba Robot?”
“If I member correctly, it’s a person so big that you have to look up to, carries a blunt weapon and wears a clown-like mask like the name implies. And when you loiter around at night, it asks you when no one is around.
—‘Do you know why you are going to die?’
Apparently you get killed with the blunt weapon then if you can’t answer. And for some reason, the target is always a high school girl.”
…Fine, I’ll look up the Tsukuba Robot myself.
“Why’s there such a rumour?”
“Probably because of it’s cruel execution, the unknown motif and— most likely, because no other major nasty incident happened after the arrest of the 《Midnight killing Devil》”
“…Certainly.”
In short, it was the perfect material for a new fuss.
Their interest had simply shifted from the 《Midnight killing Devil》 to the 《Death Eater Clown》 and the fuss they made over it hadn’t changed at all from before. In other words, a keyword. When it was “grotesque”, “unheard-of”, “gloomy” or “cruel”, it’s welcomed as a trickster in the boring daily life. Much to my regret, even I would be like that if I hadn’t been involved with Kirisaki and Rin. That’s just how it is, was my only excuse.
“So the 《Death Eater Clown》… But does someone like that really exist?”
“You wouldn’t call it an urban legend when it actually exists. Or do you think there actually is a human, who can run 100m in five seconds or jump higher than a five floor building or easily smash concrete with it’s hands?”
I don’t. That’s a super hero straight out of a movie.
“It’s just a silly rumour created by someone for fun. To begin with, all victims died and there are no witnesses, so how could anyone get their hands on detailed information about the 《Death Eater Clown》?”
Indeed. Anyway, it was hideous.
However… I thought at this point.
After the 《Midnight killing Devil》 incident was resolved, I thought peace had come back and even convinced myself that it would last forever.
But needless to say, reality was different. On a daily basis, someone was hurt, hurt someone or lost something/someone in the world.
The despair I tasted was nothing but a fragment of the shadow that crept over everything in the world.
Even while Kirisaki and I were troubled over various things, new tragedies happened one after another and bystanders were attracted to it just to satisfy their curiosity. Lies, facts, endless rumours— It was all a repetition of the same thing.
There might be nothing to be done about it, which was kind of frothily.
Then I suddenly remembered Haru. A lot had happened, so I forgot, but— nothing had settled for Kirisaki in it’s true meaning, even when there was a new incident and the world forgot about the 《Midnight killing Devil》.
“…Reminds me.”
“Mh?”
“Well, I forgot to tell you before, but after the trouble with the delinquents and you went home, that woman came by.”
“What woman?”
“You know, the one from the 《organisation》…”
“You mean me?”
“Yep, yep, you—wait, wot!”
Suddenly a voice came from behind me without any presence and I sprang up in surprise. When I turned around, she stood there inexpressive as ever.
“…That was a somewhat ordinary reaction. The timing was bad as well.”
“To think I would get lectured about that by you…”
That woman, Kaousonemiya Haruka… No, Haru averted her eyes from me and faced Kirisaki. She said shortly.
“Kirisaki Kyouko.”
“…Yeah, I know.”
“Good then.”
Making a small nod, Haru said.
“—You have orders.”
Chapter 02: The immortal Boy and worrisome everyday Life
The next day.
I naturally looked for Kirisaki after entering the classroom. When I noticed my behaviour, I shook my head wearily. Why should I have to concern myself over her?
Not like I cared about what kind of reaction she would give me.
I tossed my bag on top of my desk while sighing. With the new seating arrangement, I luckily secured a seat by the window. Everyone else had drawn lots for it, but only mine was directly assigned to me by our homeroom teacher. It might have just been done to keep a troublemaker out of sight. Anyway, my passion for studying didn’t go as far as to hog a front seat, so I gladly accepted it.
However, the problem was that Kirisaki sat next to me.
She wasn’t here today, though. Feeling somewhat relieved, I sat down while asking myself why I felt relieved.
The classroom was noisy and somewhat restless before the start of homeroom. But I just looked space-out at the stupid scribbling on the blackboard, whereupon the ruckus suddenly settled down.
Kirisaki had appeared in the entrance.
For the time being, Kirisaki Kyouko was currently the most popular girl in class (amongst boys and girls). During her sham, she was creepily sociable, well-mannered and acted polite towards anyone. Moreover, her features were above average, so her popularity wasn’t all that unreasonable. You would think a few people would get jealous, but fortunately, no one tried to do anything suspicious so far. The main reason for it might be that her boyfriend was me.
“Good morning.”
Calling out to them like that, everyone naturally replied with the same words. A lot of them even said it before her. While Kirisaki replied to every single one of them, she reached my desk.
“Good morning, Node-san.”
“…Yo.”
As always, it was a polite greeting that gave me the shivers.
“Today we have such wonderful weather again.”
“It’s damn hot, though.”
“And how is that a problem? It makes you feel that summer has come.”
It was a common exchange— Or so it should have been, but it felt kind of superficial. Just my imagination?
“Then excuse me now.”
Saying so, Kirisaki sat down next to me. She took out the textbooks from her bag and started to get ready for the first period.
“Hey, Kirisaki.”
“Yes?”
“Why did you snap out of the blue yesterday?”
Her hands stopped. She turned around to me with an unnatural bright smile.
“What are you talking about?”
Like that, she played dumb. I brought my face closer and whispered quietly.
“You know, yesterday. After you beat the shit out of these guys.”
“I have no idea what you are talking about.”
“…What’s wrong with you?”
“Right back at you, Node-san. Why are you insisting on such things? We each had things to do yesterday, so we parted at the school gate, remember? Afterwards we did not talk to each other, much less see each other.”
It seemed like she wasn’t feigning ignorance, but seriously tried to make yesterday’s happening “non-existent”.
“…Fine, whatever. Later, when you left, Haru… that woman from the 《organisation》we met before, came by.”
“If you will excuse me, Node-san, I have to take care of some things.”
She stood up in the middle of our conversation and swiftly went away. Apparently she was on day-duty. She left the classroom with the dust cloth to wipe the blackboard before class starts.
“What’s with her…”
Her attitude was rather strange. Kind of barefaced. She was avoiding me on purpose. Why would she have to do that?
While I was full of confusion, Rin came in, crossing path with Kirisaki. She must have finished her usual morning cleaning before class. Looking over her back and tilting her head, she came over to me. Rin’s seat was diagonally in front of mine.
“Yo.”
“Yeah, morning. Say, Kugi-chan, did something happen?”
“Something? Nah.”
“Really? But Kirisaki-san looked angry.”
Huh? I squinted.
“She’s angry? Why?”
“Don’t ask me… Did you two had a quarrel again?”
I was at a loss for words upon hearing the word “again”.
Previously, during the 《Midnight Killing Devil》 incident, Kirisaki and I had a difference in opinions. No, it wasn’t something that simple— Anyway, it had been Rin, who pushed my back then when I was puzzled about what to do.
“Not really… Or at least I think so.”
“Kirisaki-san wouldn’t get angry for no reason.”
“Actually, she was really angry? It didn’t look like that, though.”
“Mhm. I could somewhat tell by her aura. If I was wrong, all the better…”
Rin placed down her bag and sat down in her chair.
“I don’t think she would get angry over something that offends a normal girl… So it must have been something grave.”
“Something grave, huh…”
I put one elbow on the desk, rested my head on my hand and distantly lost myself in thought. …Mhm, if I had to name something, there was only the thing from yesterday.
“Ah, you have a clue.”
“Well, but that wasn’t anything to get angry about…”
“That’s not for you to decide, Kugi-chan. After all, people tend to overlook things, come to misunderstandings or end up committing terrible mistakes at unexpected occurrences.”
“Is that so?”
“Yeah. Well, it’s my mother’s teaching, though.”
Mhmm. I mumbled consensual and started to rant.
“Well, you know, yesterday…”
“Mm, mm.”
I explained the chain of events to Rin. That said, I couldn’t tell her everything (especially not the part about Kirisaki beating up the delinquents like a berserker), so I only told her up to the point of Kirisaki being taken hostage and me trying to abandon her. Rin’s first reply was:
“You’re at fault, Kugi-chan.”
“…Well, if you think about it, I guess so. But she’s a lot stronger than you think. To the extent that delinquents aren’t a match for her. So I thought it would be alright… you know.”
Rin crossed her arms and grunted for a moment. Then she closed her eyes in thoughts.
“Say, did she mention me before she was angry?”
“Yeah, she did. Something about not being able to take her eyes off you.”
The fact that I was worried about Rin was hard to bring up, so I kept it a secret.
“She also mentioned that she would like to rest in the shadows, right?”
“Yep.”
“How did you reply to that?”
“I said: Oh, is that so.”
“…And then?”
“No, that’s all. I also said how she was a pain for not being clear about what she wanted to say.”
Rin mumbled “I see…” and turned to the side, leaking a small sigh.
“Okay, I get it.”
“Oh, really?”
“Yeah, but I won’t tell you.”
“Huh?”
“I’m not going to say anything. You’ve to figure it out by yourself, Kugi-chan.”
“Not you, too.”
“Me too?”
“Ehm, yeah. Well, an acquaintance told me something similar…”
“Is that so. But I think that person was right.”
“Why!”
I ticked my finger irritated on the desk.
“Figuring things out by myself isn’t my forte.”
It’s nothing to be proud about, but since I was born, I didn’t have friends, so I’ve no clue about the subtleties of the human heart. Seriously nothing to be proud about, just laughable.
“Then here’s a hint. Kirisaki-san might be mentally strong, smart and know a lot of things… But she’s just a girl.”
“And that’s a hint? Isn’t that obvious?”
“I think you’re close to the truth.”
I wracked my brain while saying “Huh?”. No, I was irritated. Why did I have to be so troubled over Kirisaki?
“C’mon, spare me the trifles and tell me. I don’t have the slightest clue.”
“Nope. If you’re going out with her, you’ve to figure it out and solve it by yourself.”
Then Rin said whispering.
“…Besides, it would be frustrating to kindly tell you everything.”
“What?”
“Nothing. Anyway, thing about it carefully.”
…Geez, how unusual of her. Normally Rin would meddlesome tell me all kind of things.
Well, relying too much on her kindness would be problematic too.
“…Still, Kirisaki-san doesn’t have to be so concerned about me.”
“Right.”
“Yeah, after all, she has a proper boyfriend that worries about her.”
No, that wasn’t really the case.
“She’s really lucky…”
Before I could say anything back to Rin, the chime heralded the beginning of class.
Kirisaki still didn’t look at me, even after she came back.
In the end, I didn’t find an answer after pondering the whole time. Aww, that’s why dealing with people is such a pain. Although I brought it upon myself.
Kirisaki always went home together with me no matter how annoyed, but today of all days, she left as soon as the last class ended, after she gave me a glance with a baffling face.
So I had no alternative, but to part with Rin, who was going to pick up trash in the nearby public park, and go home.
A matter you had not the slightest clue about how to resolve felt like a turbulent mist in your chest. I knew a way to clear it, but not how to achieve it.
“…Aww”
Leaking a unmeaning voice, I reached my house.
I tried to open the front door with my key… when I noticed that it was already unlocked.
“Sis? Are you home?”
Taking off my shoes, I went into the house and heard a voice from the living room.
“I’m home!”
“It’s rare for you to be back so early.”
I walked down the hallway and pulled the door curtain away. My sister was eating instant noodles.
“Nothing big was going on, so I left early. There are days like this.”
“That’s all fine, but you’re eating that stuff again.”
“It’s a new flavour!!”
“So what?”
“Eh? It’s enough reason.”
My sister answered while slurping the noodles.
“No, it’s not.”
“But…”
“But what?”
“It’s a new flavour.”
“You’re gravely mistaken if you think I’ll accept it just because you repeat it.”
“I’m surprised how unexpectedly serene you are. You sure have grown… Even though you peed on me when I changed your diapers in the past.”
“That was long ago!”
“For me, you’ll always be the same…”
“That might sound cool, but I won’t be fooled.”
She openly clicked her tongue. Then she even slurped up the soup.
“No dinner for you when you’re already eating now.”
“No worries, I’m still growing.”
“I don’t consider putting on a few stone as growing.”
A bamboo sprout came flying at me.
“Don’t throw just your hated food at me! Or rather, don’t waste food!”
“I’m not wasting it. It’s still eatable. For you.”
“Even if I’ve to push you onto the ground, I’ll shove it into your mouth.”
“What a dreadful remark… Nothing less from the man, who peed on an innocent girl.”
“Too misleading!”
Of course she got a chop.
“Oww! Wat‘cha doing! In the first place, you speak about dinner, but you weren’t even shopping!”
“Eh? …Ah.”
I only noticed it when she pointed it out. It seemed to have forgotten to buy ingredients for dinner, since I had been spaced out.
“Damn…”
“What, you forgot? How rare. Even though you remember the smallest things well enough to be called a nitpicker despite looking like a hoodlum.”
Was I that deep in thoughts? Damn…
“…Did something happen?”
My sister asked me, who had sit down in the chair with a sigh.
“No, it’s not worth mentioning.”
“Had a fight with Kirisaki-san?”
“…Hey, how does my slump equals trouble with Kirisaki?”
“It doesn’t?”
No, it does…
“Not so much a fight.”
“Come on, tell your dear sister.”
I was hesitant and kept silent for a bit, but I was already clutching at any straw. It would be bad for my mental health if I kept worrying by myself.
I talked to her with leaving things out like with Rin.
“…That’s what happened. According to Kuon, she was angry, but I don’t really see anything that could’ve made her angry.”
“Nah, of course she got angry.”
My sister said quite indifferent.
“Being abandoned by your own boyfriend is quite harsh.”
“Well, true, but she… ehm, she’s versed in martial arts and strong, you know.”
“Even then, you’re still at fault.”
…Grr. Since I couldn’t tell her about our unique relationship, it certainly must appear that everything was my fault.
“…But that doesn’t seem to be the reason.”
“Not?”
“Yeah, well, I haven’t talked that much to her either, but I think that Kirisaki-san also understands why you did that. She’s that kind of girl. The real problem was probably the latter.”
“The latter?”
“Treating Kuon-san kindly and so on.”
“It’s not like I was treating her kindly…”
“Now, now. Your own intentions aside, let me spell it out for you.”
“…Okay.”
I inadvertently leaned forward. My sister came face to face with me and said a single word.
“Jealousy.”
“…Jealousy?”
It was an unfamiliar word.
“Well, it might not go as far as jealously. Saying she’s sulking would be more appropriate.”
“What do you mean?”
“You sure are dense.”
Affecting a sigh, my sister said.
“Listen. If her boyfriend is being nice to someone else besides her, of course she’s going to mind it. And you even went a step further. She told you that she was in the same situation as Kuon-san, but you replied with ‘Oh, is that so’. Seriously, are you mocking her?”
“No, I wasn’t…”
To begin with, she wasn’t the type to suffer from something like a heatstroke.
“You just don’t get it.”
My sister strongly hit on the table.
“Listen, you just don’t get it.”
She said it twice.
“Sure, Kirisaki-san just might be like you described her, a type that doesn’t need others to worry about her. But that’s completely unrelated to whether she wants them or not. It could even be the reason why she purposefully got caught by these delinquents.”
“Huh? What? That too?”
“Most likely. She’s also a girl after all. There are times when she wants her boyfriend to worry about her. Yet you’re only paying attention to Kuon-san and neglect Kirisaki-san. She must have thought that you would worry a bit if she gets caught by delinquents.”
“Ridiculous.”
She was doing stuff like that?
“Chop!”
My sister released her fist onto me.
“…Sis, that was obviously a punch just now.”
“Don’t sweat the details. Of course Kirisaki-san herself doesn’t consider it possible. But I guess she thought ‘What if?’, even if only for a bit. That’s what a maiden in love is all about.”
“Maiden in love?”
I banged my head on the table with my hands.
“So annooooying.”
“You’re getting a headlock next.”
“I- I’m sorry.”
I looked up to the ceiling.
“Man, so it’s like that…”
“Don’t say that. Isn’t it cute.”
“So, what am I supposed to do? Do I just have to apologize?”
My sister crossed her arms and tilted her head.
“Let’s see, I don’t think she’s still angry… On the contrary, she might feel sorry for being strangely obstinate. But you’re lacking a chance to make up. That means you need some kind of impulse.”
“Impulse?”
“An impulse that allows you both to relax and naturally admit your wrongdoings to each other.”
“I see. What should I do?”
“Why don’t you think for yourself a bit?”
“I wracked my brain already. Spare me any more.”
“You’re such a hopeless little brother…”
My sister raised her gaze in thought with a wry smile.
After a while, she clapped her hands with “Oh, I know”.
“It’s simple.”
“Yeah?”
She firmly pointed her finger at me and—
“Ask her out on a date! Tomorrow even!”
declared something outrageous.
The annoyingly blue sky sopped up the cheers that resounded at times.
The splashes of water sounded refreshing and the occasionally approaching waves cooled my hot body.
At the very edge in the sixth track of the 25m pool.
I was making myself comfortable apart from my merry classmates.
Usually it was common for swimming lessons to turn gender-segregated in high school.
However, here at Meitou Academy only the very first swimming lesson was a co-ed water ball tournament.
That said, it ended a little while ago and now we had free time.
Boys and girls alike gathered here and there, made a ruckus, talked at the pool side or communicated with each other in some kind of other way. Of course there were groups with just boys or girls too, but most of them were co-ed groups and gave off the atmosphere of a mixer. Our school had a high tolerance towards relationships with the other gender, maybe the doing of the principal, and situations like this took place nonchalantly. Some people even came to this school because of that and thus the number of students here was secured. In my opinion, there wasn’t a need for a public school to go that far and a lot of problems should arise because of it, but seeing as there hadn’t been any complaints, it seemed to somehow work out well.
Nonetheless, it wasn’t a happy recreation for me, who didn’t have any friends, let alone acquaintances and was rather spending a “dark winter of life” instead of the “springtime of life” according to my sister.
I was just spacing out without doing anything. Rin was in my field of vision. She was taking a break from her sport appointee duties and sitting under the sun by grasping her knees. When our eyes met, she waved her hand lightly at me. I replied with a short nod, whereupon she now pointed her index finger somewhere. I frowned, while she seemed to poke at the empty air. She might be trying to tell me to look that way. I faced there like I was told and blinked.
Diagonally across there was Kirisaki.
Well, we were in the same class, so it was to be expected and during the earlier ball tournament I saw her performing well, albeit making mistakes from time to time… But I was surprised to see her all by herself. I had thought for sure she would be talking to someone.
She was sitting by the pool side with her chin resting on her raised leg, showing a listless expression. It was different than usual. She replied to classmates, who occasionally called out to her, with a smile, but once they were gone, she returned to being listless.
I shifted my gaze back to Rin. She was eagerly pointing in Kirisaki’s direction and beckoning me with her chin.
“…What?”
Even while mumbling that, I recalled my conversation with my sister yesterday.
—It might not go as far as jealously. Saying she’s sulking would be more appropriate.
Sulking, huh…
Good Heavens!
She and I are a couple. We certainly decided to look like that.
However, to repeat myself, that was only feigned.
After the events with the 《organisation》, I decided to accompany Kirisaki with her atonement from beginning to end.
But that happened partly out of pity. …No, that wasn’t quite right. I simply couldn’t act like nothing had happened after I got to know about it. It was such a selfish reasoning.
Therefore I wasn’t having any romantic feelings towards her and it should be the same for her.
“Geez…”
Fully grasping people’s feelings was impossible. Half could be comprehended, but the other half was simply wishfulness and presumption. I remembered hearing that from my sister before.
Kirisaki had her own emotions, her own thoughts and feelings. She lived in accordance with them.
I had thought to understand that…
I cracked my neck and got away from the wall I had been leaning onto and moved through the water with its resistance.
I swam, cautious not to bump into anyone on the way.
I lowered my goggles that I had put up and dived silently. When I opened my eyes, I saw a lot of legs that looked like roots of trees in the wavy blue space.
I slowly and cautiously swam on.
At the same time my hand touched the wall, I crouched down on the spot.
And then—
“WRAAR!”
I suddenly shot out of the water with attitude.
“Hiii!?”
Kirisaki, showered in water, was surprised as I had never seen her before and tumbled backwards like that.
“Oh, it worked.”
While combing my hair back, I raised the corners of my mouth.
“Th- The heck’re you doing!”
Kirisaki quickly got back up and glared at me while pressing onto her chest.
“You’re like a tumbler. By the way, you’re speaking in the raw, you don’t mind?”
“…Eh, Ah, y- you are so mean, Node-san!”
“Be at ease. No one else is around at the moment.”
When I said so while getting out of the pool, Kirisaki looked around and made a sigh of relief.
“Anyway, you must’ve been one heck of surprised to go ‘Hii’.”
“Anyone would if a guy with a face like big foot suddenly comes out of the water.”
“How rude. Actually, have you ever seen big foot?”
“I have. There was an article in the monthly occult magazine ‘Atlantis’ with the header ‘The real one! The legendary Big Foot was finally caught!’. There was a picture as well, so there’s no doubt.”
“At least realize that the magazine itself is dubious.”
Kirisaki screwed up her nose on my pointer, then hugged her knees with her wet hairs and stared down on the water surface.
Without any words to keep the conversation going, I looked at her.
…Still.
Considering the place we were at, Kirisaki obviously wore a swimsuit. The school one was blunt, but showed the body lines clearly. Like that, I became conscious of it— if I wanted or not. For example, well… if you follow the line downwards the nape of her neck, there come two hills. No, rather them calling them hills, it might be better to call them mountains at this size. They got a peak too after all. What am I trying to joke around here for?
That reminded me, Kirisaki had said something about “I’m quite famous when I take off my clothes” previously. At that time, I thought the idiot was being idiotic by saying idiotic stuff again, but when I looked at her like this… I realized that it wasn’t necessarily a lie. For one thing the twin mountains, for another thing her firm waist from training and her comparatively juicy thighs. It was quite, how can I say, my preferred—
“Kugito.”
“Hiii!?”
“…What’s wrong?”
“N- Nothing.”
“Really? That sounded like a really surprised scream, though.”
“It’s really nothing. Yeah, nothing. Seriously.”
You hear that, myself.
…Watch out. That’s Kirisaki you’re thinking about, myself. Get a grip. That’s Kirisaki. Ki.ri.sa.ki. Yeah, I somehow calmed down. It worked like a spell. That’s Kirisaki. I’ll call it the password for a come-back.
“Well, if you say so… Anyway, do you want something from me?”
“Ah, well, not quite.”
After I said so whitewashing, I scratched the top of my nose.
“You see, somehow… you’re being weird lately.”
“…That’s not true.”
“Yeah? Good then.”
I looked up to the scorching sun above my head. …..Mhm.
After staying silent for a while like that, I suddenly called out to her with “Hey”.
“What?”
“Could it be… you’re sulking?”
Kirisaki widened her eyes and instantly flushed her face.
“I- Idiot!”
Right after she said that, everyone turned to us, so she quickly covered her mouth. Next she smoothed it over with her usual sham by smiling and whispered towards me.
“What nonsense are you saying…”
“So, you’re not sulking?”
“Wh- Why would I have to sulk?”
“That’s what I want to know. Why’re you sulking?”
“Like I said, I’m not sulking.”
“Then why’re you in a bad mood?”
“I’m… not in a bad mood either.”
“In denial, huh… You know, I don’t really care either way, but when your attitude changes so obviously, it’s bugging.”
“…”
Kirisaki pursed her lips upon my words and faced forwards.
“Why concern yourself with it, if you do not care either way?”
“There you go sulking again.”
“I said I’m not sulking.”
“Seriously…”
Making a sigh, I lied down.
“To begin with, you would usually show off your swimsuit and ask stuff like ‘How is it? Does it turn you on?’.”
“You want me to say that?”
“Yep.”
When I affirmed, Kirisaki flushed her cheeks red after saying “Wha–!”.
“…I just wondered what you would do if I said that.”
“Bastard…”
Kirisaki reflexively reached out for her thigh, but needless to say, the knife wasn’t there.
“Too bad for you.”
Having no idea how to kill off her boiling urge, Kirisaki mumbled an “Uhh” and stuck her head between her raised knees.
“…If you aren’t sulking, are you angry?”
“No.”
“Then what?”
I said with a slightly forceful tone.
“Put your cards on the table already. If I’ve done anything wrong, I’ll apologize or whatever. Though only if I indeed was wrong.”
“…It’s not like you were wrong.”
“Then, are you? Are you depressed from reflecting over it?”
“I guess, ultimately it comes to that… but”
“But?”
“You’re a bit at fault too.”
…What the.
“I say you’re at fault, but it’s not like you were entirely wrong, kind of…”
Kirisaki gave an unusual inarticulate answer as her feelings were too complex.
“…Oh boy.”
Saying so, I placed my hand on top of her head.
“Are you free this coming Sunday?”
“? What do you mean?”
“Let’s talk properly about which of us is at fault. After we watched a movie or so.”
Kirisaki blinked.
“A movie… on Sunday? With you?”
“Well, if you don’t want to, forget it. But I don’t want this vague unpleasant situation to go on. I would rather invest some time and clear it up.”
“Well, you have a point, but… why a movie?”
“That’s…”
Damn. So far everything went smoothly, so I overlooked this contradiction. There was no way I could tell her it was because my sister said “Ask her out on a date”.
“Well, my grandma was standing by my bed last night and said she couldn’t go to heaven unless I go watch a movie…”
“I don’t see the connection between your grandmother going to heaven and you seeing a movie, though…”
“Actually, the fortune-telling on TV this morning said I would be cursed if I don’t go see a movie.”
“Isn’t that more of a threat than a fortune-telling?”
“…..”
“…..”
I was out of ideas.
“Anyway, a movie! A movie, you hear! We’re going to watch a movie! I want to see one, okay! Got a problem?”
I said, kind of snapping even though I brought it up.
For me, a resting day was literally a day to rest.
After getting up later than usual in the morning, I bang on the door of my sister’s room to wake her up and take her to the bathroom. Then I make breakfast and do some laundry… After all that, I have free time until evening, so I just laze around. I never went outside to have fun. I couldn’t understand why anyone would purposefully do something exhausting on a holiday.
However, right now I was waiting at the fountain plaza in front of the Meitou Station.
As the shopping district was near, the place was rather crowded. Youngsters my age or slightly above gathered here and there, chatting happily. I was surprised how they could stay so energetically in this damn heat, but realized that right now I was one of them.
I stood there for a while, whereupon a familiar figure appeared from far away. It was Kirisaki. When she noticed me, she came rushing over.
“Yo.”
“…Mm.”
Normally she would stab me as a greeting, but today she wasn’t getting ready to do that. Not like I was looking forward to that. Seriously. No kidding. I’ve to make this clear for my dignity.
“…..”
“…..”
An awkward silence.
Now then— I went through my simulation in my head once more.
This morning my sister spotted me sharp sighted when I was getting ready to leave, and said to me.
“A date? It’s a date? You’re going on a date?”
Ignoring my denial, she nodded to herself with “So you’re finally listen to my advice honestly now!”, then
“But knowing you, you’ll only make things worse than before from some kind of screw up. Listen to your sister’s advice carefully and implement it.”
I got detailed instructions about “how to fix the girlfriend’s mood with a date”, even though I hadn’t asked for it. …She didn’t even have a boyfriend herself.
Well, whatever. Anyway, advice #1.
“Compliment her clothes as soon as you meet. Anything will do. Like it’s cute or anything similar. Doing that will already influence the later development.”
Wondering if it really worked like that, I said.
“…Hey, Kirisaki.”
“What?”
“Your clothes… ehm, are cute?”
“What’re you asking me that for…”
Right.
“…Well, you see. Ehm, your clothes… are… you know, ehm… positive!”
“That’s your idea of appreciating clothes?”
Yes, it was impossible for me. Damn it. Ehm, advice #2 is…
“The next important thing is to keep a conversation going. Any topic is fine, just talk about it happily, because once the conversation dies and the silence drags on, it tends to get awkward.”
…Mhm, well, that much is obvious. A topic…
“At any rate.”
“Mm?”
“…At any rate.”
“Mm.”
“Ehm… At any rate!”
“Mm?”
“…At any rate, I mean.”
“…Mm.”
Did that count as a conversation?
“D- Did you watch TV yesterday?”
“No, just the news on the internet. What did you watch?”
“…Sorry, I hardly ever watch TV.”
What am I raising the subject for then?
Damn, it were all fruitless efforts.
There was no way we could relax like that.
Whatever. Let’s just get over with it. After the movie, we’ll naturally have a conversation about the content without doubt. Afterwards I’ll just get smoothly to the topic at hand.
“…What’s up, Kugito? You’re being strange.”
“Just your imagination. Alright, let’s get going to the movie.”
I averted my eyes from Kirisaki’s puzzled face and started walking quickly.
…In the long run, the choice of “watching a movie” wasn’t wrong.
However, it wasn’t right either.
The narration said “The Bear on screen. For his precious friends, for his dear lover and to protect all these that shoulder grief— The most popular stuffed animal in Japan ‘Bearzawa’ from the Talking Bear series, staged by Breaker’s director Beeven Grayer in full CG animation. The ultimate survival action romance movie with a stuffed animal. Soon in your cinema! Have you seen true love—?”
A preview of the coming works was shown at the entrance of the cinema with a huge projector. …Into what kind of world was that Bear going to jump?
No, that didn’t matter now. I said to Kirisaki next me.
“…Are you okay?”
“Yeah, I’m fine.”
Contrary to her words, she was unsteady on her feet and restless.
Her face was lightly flushed and her eyes a bit blank.
Maybe we should have gone somewhere more unconstrained after all. I regretted it a bit, no, regretted it quite a lot.
At first, Kirisaki and I were supposed to watch the new instalment of a run-of-the-mill action series. They were showing a romance or adolescent one too, and Kirisaki seemed to be fine with these as well, but I wasn’t particular interested, so I decided against it. However, that principally turned out to be my biggest mistake.
It was Sunday noon and the only large movie theatre in the area, so there was a long line in front of the ticket shop. We waited orderly, although fed up, and our turn finally came around, but the ticket vendor gave us an unexpected statement.
“I beg your pardon, the 2:15 o’clock showing for ‘Battle Crusher Ryuuga 5′ you requested is already sold out.”
Until just recently you could get a standing place even when the showing was sold out, but nowadays cinemas changed to a sitting only system and standing was forbidden in most. The same was true for here. And to add to our bad luck, the other shows also sold out while we stood in line.
I thought about giving up the movie, but we came all the way here. When I asked if there were tickets left for some other movie, the vendor answered like this.
“Just for one.”
“Then that’ll have to do. What’s the name?”
After lightly tapping the touch panel at his hands, he looked up and showed a business smile.
“‘Ripper Jack vs. Jason Voorhees’, Sir.”
Not good, crossed my mind.
I was convinced that watching it nevertheless was my mistake.
Ripper Jack vs. Jason Voorhees was a trite panic horror movie. Although made in Hollywood, it was a stereotypical movie that only tried everything to scare the audience. A normal person would call it an easy-going movie that you could watch by turning off your brain.
However, Kirisaki was different.
She felt sexual pleasure from killing or wounding someone. For someone like her, scenes of people getting mangled with knifes or getting cut into pieces with a hatchet were like a porn. And seeing that for nearly two hours seemed to have upset Kirisaki’s spirit a bit.
“Well… Sorry. We shouldn’t have watched it after all.”
“I don’t… mind. I didn’t stop you, knowing what kind of movie it is… I’m at fault too.”
Saying so haltingly, Kirisaki made a coquettish sigh.
“…For now, let’s sit down on that bench.”
So she said, but seeing as she wasn’t even able to walk properly, I inevitable took her by the hand.
“Sorry.”
“Don’t fret it. Let’s rest for a bit.”
After letting her sit on the bench in the shadows, I bought sports drinks at a nearby vending machine. I sat down next to her and handed her one.
“Thanks…”
Kirisaki mumbled, opened the lid and drank a bit.
“…You sure have a troublesome habitude.”
Kirisaki made a little wry smile with “Certainly”.
“…But why didn’t you say anything? You didn’t know it would turn out like this?”
“No… I knew, but”
“But?”
“Well…”
While trying to cool down her face even a bit by holding the can against her cheek, she mumbled.
“…Because I somewhat admired it.”
“Admired?”
“I mean—”
She averted her eyes and whispered with a small voice.
“Watching a movie with my boyfriend… I admired that kind of situation.”
I inadvertently spouted out the juice.
“What? You’ve a problem with it?”
“No… not really.”
That was exactly what a teenager girl would say. Well, she IS a teenager girl.
“What can I do, I never did anything together with anyone before.”
“…Guess so. My bad.”
Feeling guilty over how inconsiderate I was, I lowered my head a bit. To punish herself for her forbidding fate, Kirisaki had lived in solitude up till now. Therefore she had not a single experience of a normal teenager girl. Due to that, an innocent maiden side came to the surface from time to time, contrary to her usual behaviour. That surely was her true self.
Still, what now… She was in no state to have a talk.
For the time being, I should let her go home merciful—
Just when I thought so, my sleeve was suddenly pulled.
“…Mh? What’s up?”
I asked— whereupon Kirisaki looked at me and said.
“Kugito, forgive me. I’m… at my limit.”
Her eyes, looking up to me, were damp. Her cheeks were flushed like during a fever and her hand was entwined around my arm like she was asking for something. …Even without a hunch, I knew this was bad.
“No, hold it. The sun’s still up… wait, I’m only making it worse. Anyway, don’t, okay?”
“M- Meanie…”
“Stop with the misleading remarks!”
What am I supposed to do here!?
“Well, I need to calm down a bit… It would be troublesome if my underwear gets wet again after changing.”
Your statements are troublesome!!
“F- For now, calm down. Okay?”
“In order for me to calm down, why don’t we go into the shadows over there…?”
“That’ll make me lose my calm though…”
Kirisaki stood up slowly. Still grabbing my arm, she forcefully pulled me along.
“Kirisaki! Hold it! Seriously, stop! Think this over! Let’s talk it out, okay?”
Like that, I was dragged towards a back alley between two buildings. This girl wasn’t listening at all.
“N- Nooo!”
My scream was in vain too.
As soon as we entered the back alley, I was merciless tossed away.
Furthermore, Kirisaki flipped her skirt and drew her knife at the same time. Then she got on top of me, who was lying down face-up. Deja vu! I’m getting a deja vu!
Kirisaki exerted a strength that you wouldn’t expect from her slender build. She forcefully pushed me down as I was trying to resists and showed a gruesome smile. A deja vu alright!
“…Forgive me, Kugito.”
At the same time Kirisaki mumbled that—
My body was stabbed without hesitation, first in the stomach.
“Guh”
This nightmare again after a long time!
Without even time for such thoughts—
In the next moment, a stabbing show like raging billows started.
I must have been stabbed a dozen times.
I couldn’t be certain, because I stopped counting midway after growing tired of it.
After stabbing my arms, stomach and chest right and left as she pleased, I thought it was finally over, but Kirisaki unbelievably spouted “Now that got me started”, so my brain stopped paying attention to the reality before my eyes at this point.
I no longer felt the commonplace emotion called pain. To begin with, pain was something like a signal to warn oneself about harm to the body, so once the situation crossed the initial goal of “alerting”, it might just cut off. At least in my case.
Anyway— When I came back to my senses, everything was over. Just like that.
In front of my eyes was Kirisaki, splattered in blood and breathing roughly. Speaking of, how does she plan to get home? Although our current society might be corrupted, I wouldn’t think it was so bad that a high school girl dyed in fresh blood could walk around unperturbed. Wait, was this really the time to worry about that? … As frightening as it sounds, I might have grown accustomed to her.
“Feel better now?”
When I asked, Kirisaki’s eyes staring into empty space became focused. The expression “returning to one’s senses” fit this perfectly.
“…Kugito…”
She answered with feeble voice. She looked down at her hand, which was still holding the blood drenched knife. After she alternating looked at me and the knife, she closed her eyes and mumbled.
“…I held back as much as possible.”
Well, knowing her, she certainly did held back.
“For now, get off.”
Kirisaki obediently obeyed my request and got off me, slumping down next to me. I stood up and took my clothes that lay on the side. My wounds hadn’t healed yet, but they weren’t bleeding anymore.
I put on my shirt, then my jacket. In the meantime, Kirisaki looked at me with a side-glance and had an exhausted expression. That reminded me, I was on bad terms with Kirisaki lately, where we didn’t even get to talk. She might have released everything that had piled up so far.
“Are you okay?”
While I asked that, I was shocked about myself for this completely inappropriate question. I should be more concerned about the well-being of my own body.
Kirisaki nodded wordless.
“…Sorry.”
“Well… I won’t tell you it’s okay, but this time I also reap what I sow.”
I should’ve somewhat predicted this development. It was all due to my carelessness.
“In that way, you aren’t solely at fault.”
“Sorry…”
“No, like I said—”
“Not just about now.”
Kirisaki said quietly while still looking down.
“I’m sorry for acting so weird the last few days.”
“Well, that…”
I was confused at the unexpected development.
An impulse that allows you both to relax and naturally admit your wrongdoings to each other.
I remembered my sister’s words.
…I see. So things went according to plan, albeit in a queer way.
Although I got the feeling that the price I paid for it was too high— For the time being, all’s well.
“…Well, I also, kind of, went too far, yeah.”
When I said that, Kirisaki looked at me. But she immediately averted her gaze again.
“No… You aren’t at fault.”
“Don’t be so fussy. Let’s just say I was at fault too.”
“No.”
Kirisaki shook her head powerless. When I frowned doubtful, she continued after a while.
“You did nothing wrong. Sure, you and I are boyfriend and girlfriend. However, that’s only in front of others. As a matter of fact, I’m not allowed to have romantic feelings for you.”
I know that, she mumbled.
“Whichever way you look at it, I’m a murderer. The most worthless, disgusting and worst kind of human. I cannot fall in love with anyone. I knew that… when I came to know about my true nature.”
Kirisaki spoke indifferent.
“So even when I started dating you, I kept telling that to myself. I’m taking advantage of you. But you stayed by my side despite that. So I thought it was fine just like that. We cannot be lovers, let alone friends. But someone was accepting my true self. I believed that was enough for me.
…Yet— Despite that, I suddenly found myself acting like a normal student sometimes when I talked with you, which worried me. Of course I denied it right away and scolded myself, tucking away these feelings in the back of my heart.”
Nevertheless—
Her voice gradually became emotional.
“…It’s strange. I should’ve kept them under wraps, but before I noticed, I was thinking the same stuff somewhere in my heart again. Even though I’ve no right to, even though just thinking about it is a sin… even though I understand it in my head.”
She looked up to me.
“When I saw you being nice to Kuon Rin, a detestable feeling arose within me. That is, why wasn’t it me? That is, why won’t you do anything for me? Stupid, isn’t it?
What arrogance. A feeling so unsavoury that it would be presumptuous to call it selfishness.”
Holding the knife with both hands, she pressed it into her chest.
“That’s why I ended up doing that. I figured that I had to make you worry, so that you would turn to me even just a bit—”
Then she showed a dry smile.
“…What’s up?”
“Don’t you think it’s cute?”
She closed her eyes. At that time, a small drop of water fell down from her eyelid, ran down her cheek and dropped onto the ground.
“Just like—”
She said with a feeble voice while shaking.
“—Just like a normal girl.”
She whispered with a stiff voice.
“This never happened before. I could always stifle myself before. So… I didn’t know what to do. How do I interact with you? I got the feeling that if things go on like this, I will definitely head in a direction that I’m not supposed to—”
“You…”
I didn’t know how to respond to that.
No one ever confronted me with their feelings so directly like this.
Nor did anyone seek my existence to such an extent.
If Kirisaki were a normal girl— what would I do? Accept her? Push her away? Or brush it off evasively? …Either way, it would surely have turned into a run-off-the-mill development from a romance movie afterwards.
However, Kirisaki was different.
It wasn’t a problem about simple feelings like love or hate.
She must start to face this feeling, which she ended up with, from now on. I believe that she continued to suffer and conflict with it until now.
Then, how— am I going to respond to her?
Think, Node Kugito.
This is the path you chose.
To accompany Kirisaki Kyouko in any way, shape or form from beginning to end, no matter what awaits.
“…..”
I kept silent for a long time. In the meantime, I wracked my brain. I kept doing so endless.
And then, I approached Kirisaki and sat cross-legged besides her.
“…Uhm, you know.”
While scratching my head, I somehow put my unsorted feeling into words.
“If you don’t know what to do— You can only worry until you do, can’t you?”
“…What, do you mean?”
“Like you said, you might be the worst. But you aren’t making any excuses like having an inevitable reason. Therefore… I think it’s okay for you to lose your way a bit.”
I kept going on, albeit knowing how clumsy it sounded.
“So, uhm, well… as long as you don’t choose ‘to run away’ or give up thinking, then I think it’s at least alright to worry about what to do.”
Kirisaki listened in silence. I continued.
“You said you always stifled it, but that’s probably not it. You only became negligent. Living alone sure is tiresome, but in a way, it’s also easier not to concern yourself with others.”
For example, my current self. Spending every day aimlessly in a state, where I didn’t know if I was alive or dead.
“…Such a lifestyle won’t get you anything, but it won’t make you lose anything either. There are people, who’re fine with that, like myself. But you’re trying to break away from that, right? In that case, it’s only natural that it’ll be tough.”
When someone, who lived an abnormal life, tried to live a normal life, obstacles were bound to occur. Reasoning stopped everyone at a certain line. And those, who ended up crossing that line, couldn’t return so easily, even if they wanted to out of regret. There was always a wall that prevented it, which is how it should be.
“…But I don’t think that those, who don’t reflect about themselves, have any right to lament about their actions. Judgement will just be passed on them one-sided. But you’re different. So… Don’t give up from the start and properly worry until you find an answer.”
“But… that might take a long time.”
“I’ll wait. I promised you to be with you.”
“The answer I find might not necessarily be right.”
“You’re looking not for the right answer.”
I placed my hand on Kirisaki’s lowered head.
“In other words, what matters is to settle things for yourself.”
“…What if it turns out twisted?”
“That won’t happen.”
I declared.
“I know you. Not the 《Midnight killing Devil》. Nor the girl who puts on a superficial smile at school. But the human called Kirisaki Kyouko. So I can say this: You won’t do anything to deceive yourself.”
Slowly standing up, I looked down at her.
“So think for yourself until you find your own answer about what to do.”
Kirisaki looked up at me. She muttered with narrowed eyes.
“…When I find my answer— will you let me hear your reply?”
I kept my mouth shut for a moment upon her question. I scratched my cheek and averted my eyes.
“Well— To be honest, I’m not sure how to react, because I don’t often get someone to bare everything about oneself to me like this.”
Nevertheless, I made a wry smile and said at least this.
“…Well, I’ll also think about what to do when that time comes.”
“For sure.”
Kirisaki finally smiled. A smile from the bottom of her heart that she won’t show to anyone besides me.
“…Thanks, Kugito.”
I gave a vague reply like Mm or Uh-huh. …Why was it so awkward?
“F- For now, act like before. Being meek is all fine, but it’s hard to deal with.”
“…Yeah, right. Sorry.”
“Well, as long as you understand.”
Kirisaki stood up slowly. Looking at my body, she smiled wryly.
“But I have to say, I really went a bit too far this time.”
“Oh, I’m partly at fault too, so don’t fret it.”
“No, that won’t work. It’s not just about today. I felt I had to thank you for everything up till now.”
“Thank?”
“Mm…”
Kirisaki looked around restlessly. Beyond the back alley, there was a fast food restaurant from a famous chain.
“How about I treat you to lunch there?”
Was my life worth a hamburger set?
“I’m getting kinda sad…”
“…No, I was just joking.”
Kirisaki made a bittersweet smile, then pondered for a while with her head tilted.
However, she suddenly clapped her hands with “I know”.
“We will go to a hotel now and you can have your way with me.”
“Yay, thanks! … If that’s the answer you’re expecting from me, I will give you a good long speech about what kind of guy I am.”
“But I thrust my knife in you, so you can thrust in me too and we will be ‘thrust buddies’…”
“Stop with the puns.”
After I said that, I dealt a blow with my fist onto her head.
“Ow!”
“Enough nonsense. We’re going home. …But before that, clothes.”
I threw Kirisaki my jacket.
“…? What?”
“Have you seen yourself? My jacket is big, so you can hide the blood with it. Just button up the front. And your skirt won’t stand out, since it got a sober colour.”
Saying so, I turned on my heel and started walking. I heard Kirisaki following behind me.
At any rate, it somehow came to an amicable… amicable? Well, reconcilable solution. It felt like a weight had been taken off my shoulders.
That said, I got the feeling that the problems increased rather than being solved— But oh well. I won’t sweat the details.
At least for now.
“…Now onto the next news.”
When we walked for a while after leaving the back alley, we got back in front of the cinema from before.
The huge projector there wasn’t showing previews anymore, but the evening news now.
“Yesterday night, in the gray of the morning, a policeman on patrol found Mifune Kaori-san, a local high school girl, collapsed on the street. Mifune-san was brought to the hospital, but passed away soon afterwards. She had signs of being strongly hit on the head with a blunt object and it’s believed to be directly related to her passing. There were no traces of a robbery, so the police is investigating under the assumption of a murder-orientated random assault. Furthermore, the incident took place not far away from a similar case the other day, which leads the mass media to the opinion that we are dealing with the same criminal, but the police spokesman has not confirmed that in it’s entirety.”
Again?, I thought, because the case sounded familiar. It happened when society started to calm down after the news about the arrest of the 《Midnight killing Devil》.
Just like the news reported, a high school girl was found beaten to death in the same way as the current incident. The point of no robbery was also the same. If it really was the same criminal, then more would get killed from now on…?
For some reason or another, I watched the news, whereupon the two girls of my age in uniforms, who had walked by near, stopped and started talking to each other.
“Oh, again.”
“Again what?”
“The news just now. There was a similar case before, remember. A girl was beaten to death.”
“Yeah…?”
“Yep! Maybe it’s true after all…”
“What, what?”
“Well, I only read it on the internet, too.”
“Mh-mm.”
“What was it again… Ah, right, 《Death Eater Clown》. It said it’s a really scary and big guy that only goes after high school girls.”
“Huh, a weirdo?”
“Not a weirdo, but a phantom. Like, there’s this rumour that this guy also did the previous incident.”
“Eh. Why?”
“Don’t know. The reason’s unknown.”
“Kinda scary.”
“Well, it’s just a rumour, though.”
“I hope so…”
The two stopped their chatting and left.
Desu Iitaa Kuraun…? What the. Desu meant Death and Iitaa was Eater alright, but Kuraun… A crown, so a prince? Or not?
“《Death Eater Clown》, huh… I thought it would just stay gossip, but that’s some unexpected development.”
Kirisaki muttered. I looked at her.
“《Death Eater Clown》?”
“An urban legend in the same league as the slit mouthed woman, the dog with a human face or the Tsukuba Robot. When the same crime happened before like the news just reported, it became a rumour on the internet.”
“What’s with the Tsukuba Robot?”
“If I member correctly, it’s a person so big that you have to look up to, carries a blunt weapon and wears a clown-like mask like the name implies. And when you loiter around at night, it asks you when no one is around.
—‘Do you know why you are going to die?’
Apparently you get killed with the blunt weapon then if you can’t answer. And for some reason, the target is always a high school girl.”
…Fine, I’ll look up the Tsukuba Robot myself.
“Why’s there such a rumour?”
“Probably because of it’s cruel execution, the unknown motif and— most likely, because no other major nasty incident happened after the arrest of the 《Midnight killing Devil》”
“…Certainly.”
In short, it was the perfect material for a new fuss.
Their interest had simply shifted from the 《Midnight killing Devil》 to the 《Death Eater Clown》 and the fuss they made over it hadn’t changed at all from before. In other words, a keyword. When it was “grotesque”, “unheard-of”, “gloomy” or “cruel”, it’s welcomed as a trickster in the boring daily life. Much to my regret, even I would be like that if I hadn’t been involved with Kirisaki and Rin. That’s just how it is, was my only excuse.
“So the 《Death Eater Clown》… But does someone like that really exist?”
“You wouldn’t call it an urban legend when it actually exists. Or do you think there actually is a human, who can run 100m in five seconds or jump higher than a five floor building or easily smash concrete with it’s hands?”
I don’t. That’s a super hero straight out of a movie.
“It’s just a silly rumour created by someone for fun. To begin with, all victims died and there are no witnesses, so how could anyone get their hands on detailed information about the 《Death Eater Clown》?”
Indeed. Anyway, it was hideous.
However… I thought at this point.
After the 《Midnight killing Devil》 incident was resolved, I thought peace had come back and even convinced myself that it would last forever.
But needless to say, reality was different. On a daily basis, someone was hurt, hurt someone or lost something/someone in the world.
The despair I tasted was nothing but a fragment of the shadow that crept over everything in the world.
Even while Kirisaki and I were troubled over various things, new tragedies happened one after another and bystanders were attracted to it just to satisfy their curiosity. Lies, facts, endless rumours— It was all a repetition of the same thing.
There might be nothing to be done about it, which was kind of frothily.
Then I suddenly remembered Haru. A lot had happened, so I forgot, but— nothing had settled for Kirisaki in it’s true meaning, even when there was a new incident and the world forgot about the 《Midnight killing Devil》.
“…Reminds me.”
“Mh?”
“Well, I forgot to tell you before, but after the trouble with the delinquents and you went home, that woman came by.”
“What woman?”
“You know, the one from the 《organisation》…”
“You mean me?”
“Yep, yep, you—wait, wot!”
Suddenly a voice came from behind me without any presence and I sprang up in surprise. When I turned around, she stood there inexpressive as ever.
“…That was a somewhat ordinary reaction. The timing was bad as well.”
“To think I would get lectured about that by you…”
That woman, Kaousonemiya Haruka… No, Haru averted her eyes from me and faced Kirisaki. She said shortly.
“Kirisaki Kyouko.”
“…Yeah, I know.”
“Good then.”
Making a small nod, Haru said.
“—You have orders.”
