Chengdu Zoo.
A young panda was happily eating bamboo shoots.
"That's the Fatty?" a few people asked from a few distances away.
"Yeah, the strongest of the batch. Shouldn't be a problem."
"It's for Australia so don't overlook it. I don't really know your rules, but remember to talk to the zookeeper more."
"Don't worry, Officer Xia. Leave it to me and there won't be any problems. It's not the first time I've done this."
"I'll submit the application tomorrow and have it transported to Australia in three days."
Next day, in the Zoo's office.
"Is that fat panda ready, Xiaowen?"
"..."
"Why aren't you speaking?"
"The rabies and pestilence reinforcement jabs aren't done yet."
"What? Shouldn't that have been done in Spring?"
"Originally, yes, but the needle Doctor Zhang brought that day was damaged by the panda and he did not bring any extras. We had to postpone the jab for the strongest panda, which happens to be Fatty. However, Doctor Zhang was sent to Beijing to treat the pandas there and we just forgot about it until three weeks later when the pandas were given the reinforcement jab."
"Why didn't you report this earlier?"
"I didn't expect it to be a serious problem. No one predicted that Australia would request a rental so early this time."
"Because those pandas over there are of age, if we wait any longer, they won't be able to return by air. How can you make such a rudimentary mistake?"
"Not having the reinforcements jabs isn't actually a big deal. No one would really check back on the files."
"Get out and change the records."
"Changing records isn't a problem, but to add a completely non-existent record is impossible since there won't be any barcode."
"You, you... you'll be the death of me. We'll talk about this later. Let me give Officer Xia a call first."
The man picked his phone up and dialed some numbers.
"Officer Xia, is it possible to switch the pandas? I was told that Fatty's personality isn't suitable. A little feisty."
"I've already handed the name list so there's nothing we can do. It should be fine since the panda's going to be locked up anyway. The foreigners won't know it."
"Oh, okay. That's all then, Officer Xia."
He hung up with his brows furrowed.
"How is it, Leader?"
"Where are the pandas who are completely vaccinated and ready to be rented out?"
"There's a Chalk that will be sent to Hangzhou Zoo."
"Alright, switch them. We can't add a record, but we can change the names, right? It's fine if the panda without vaccine goes to Hangzhou. We can easily pay Doctor Zhang to settle it sometime later."
"No, Leader, we can't do this."
"Are you telling me that you can't even do that? Are you going to take responsibility when the panda goes over to Australia and infects somebody or gets sick? Or are you under the impression that I'll be able to handle it?"
"But..."
"But what? Do you have a better idea?"
"Chalk is a male panda, arranged to be brought up in Hangzhou and then elsewhere to reproduce, while Fatty is a female panda. Forgetting the jabs is as serious as mixing up the sexes."
"Hangzhou Zoo, you said?" the man asked nervously.
"Yes."
He scrolled through his phone and made another call.
"Classmate Chen."
"Who is this?"
"Old Wang! Don't you remember me?"
"Oh. Yes, I do. What is it? Something's up, isn't it?"
"You're as wise as ever, old friend. This matter's neither big nor small. Are you still working at Hangzhou Zoo?"
"Why? Something wrong with the pandas?"
"Wise indeed! We got the panda's sex wrong. Do you remember Chalk? The one we're about to bring over?"
"Are you kidding me?"
"I wish! I'll need you to help with this."
"Are there no other pandas to replace it?"
"You should know that there aren't many who were born in the same month. It's extremely difficult to replace him with one that's more than half a year apart and I can't fake this matter away. Can you see if it's possible to report it to the higher-ups and settle it within our own department?"
"What are you proposing?"
"We'll send Chalk over, and when it's time to breed, you'll just say that it's a fail. We'll wait a few more years and see if we can switch another panda over. How about that?"
"Surely you know that my position is largely dependent on the success of the breeding? How are you going to compensate that?"
"Pandas have difficulty bearing children, to begin with, so I'm sure your future shouldn't be held up by these few pandas. How about I give you some publicity during the election, and pay for the expenses of bringing up that panda?"
"I can keep quiet about this, but you will have to take responsibility if anything goes wrong, alright?"
"For sure. Don't worry, I won't give you any trouble."
He hung up and sighed a breath of relief.
"All settled?"
"I'm surprised that you even dare to ask. It's all settled. Switch them."
"But what about the sexes?"
"Bring the one in Australia back and send Chalk over. Who's going to care about its sex when it's all alone. We're gonna switch them back in a few years' time anyway. I've already smoothed everything out in Hangzhou's side."
"Thank you, Leader."
"Go, go, go. I don't want to see you any longer than I have to. You've given me nothing but trouble all day. Next time, be more careful when you work!"
...
"Fatty," an adult panda called as he snuggled close to Fatty.
The other young pandas, including Chalk, went over as well.
"We've received some information. Your mission is to go to Australia and work with the koalas to get rid of the rats in the disease prevention room. Don't let the humans know that we're sentient beings, you hear me?" the adult panda instructed.
"But Teacher, I've only been learning for half a year, why are you giving me such an important task? I'm going there alone and I'm afraid that I won't be able to perform my duties well," Fatty replied frustratedly as he munched on his shoots.
"I've taught you all that you needed to know. The koalas Australia brought over will return and exchange knowledge, too. It's a double security net so don't worry. You'll just have to act like a panda. Can you do that?"
"I'll try my best," Fatty answered.
"They're coming. Act happier," the adult panda said.
"Alright, Teacher."
Fatty grabbed the shoots with both hands and chewed on them enthusiastically.
"Good, Fatty. I'm proud of you!" the adult panda whispered.
"That's Fatty. To be sent to Australia. Don't get it wrong," Xiaowen instructed, pointing at Chalk.
"Got it," two men answered before bringing Chalk into a special container.
Fatty looked on in shock. "You got the wrong panda!"
But no matter how loud Fatty shouted, the humans weren't able to hear it.
The adult panda was taken aback as well. He mumbled, "Humans are dumb creatures. This is bad. We must report this quick."
There was only helplessness on Chalk's face as he was taken away.
Chengdu Zoo.
A young panda was happily eating bamboo shoots.
"That's the Fatty?" a few people asked from a few distances away.
"Yeah, the strongest of the batch. Shouldn't be a problem."
"It's for Australia so don't overlook it. I don't really know your rules, but remember to talk to the zookeeper more."
"Don't worry, Officer Xia. Leave it to me and there won't be any problems. It's not the first time I've done this."
"I'll submit the application tomorrow and have it transported to Australia in three days."
Next day, in the Zoo's office.
"Is that fat panda ready, Xiaowen?"
"..."
"Why aren't you speaking?"
"The rabies and pestilence reinforcement jabs aren't done yet."
"What? Shouldn't that have been done in Spring?"
"Originally, yes, but the needle Doctor Zhang brought that day was damaged by the panda and he did not bring any extras. We had to postpone the jab for the strongest panda, which happens to be Fatty. However, Doctor Zhang was sent to Beijing to treat the pandas there and we just forgot about it until three weeks later when the pandas were given the reinforcement jab."
"Why didn't you report this earlier?"
"I didn't expect it to be a serious problem. No one predicted that Australia would request a rental so early this time."
"Because those pandas over there are of age, if we wait any longer, they won't be able to return by air. How can you make such a rudimentary mistake?"
"Not having the reinforcements jabs isn't actually a big deal. No one would really check back on the files."
"Get out and change the records."
"Changing records isn't a problem, but to add a completely non-existent record is impossible since there won't be any barcode."
"You, you... you'll be the death of me. We'll talk about this later. Let me give Officer Xia a call first."
The man picked his phone up and dialed some numbers.
"Officer Xia, is it possible to switch the pandas? I was told that Fatty's personality isn't suitable. A little feisty."
"I've already handed the name list so there's nothing we can do. It should be fine since the panda's going to be locked up anyway. The foreigners won't know it."
"Oh, okay. That's all then, Officer Xia."
He hung up with his brows furrowed.
"How is it, Leader?"
"Where are the pandas who are completely vaccinated and ready to be rented out?"
"There's a Chalk that will be sent to Hangzhou Zoo."
"Alright, switch them. We can't add a record, but we can change the names, right? It's fine if the panda without vaccine goes to Hangzhou. We can easily pay Doctor Zhang to settle it sometime later."
"No, Leader, we can't do this."
"Are you telling me that you can't even do that? Are you going to take responsibility when the panda goes over to Australia and infects somebody or gets sick? Or are you under the impression that I'll be able to handle it?"
"But..."
"But what? Do you have a better idea?"
"Chalk is a male panda, arranged to be brought up in Hangzhou and then elsewhere to reproduce, while Fatty is a female panda. Forgetting the jabs is as serious as mixing up the sexes."
"Hangzhou Zoo, you said?" the man asked nervously.
"Yes."
He scrolled through his phone and made another call.
"Classmate Chen."
"Who is this?"
"Old Wang! Don't you remember me?"
"Oh. Yes, I do. What is it? Something's up, isn't it?"
"You're as wise as ever, old friend. This matter's neither big nor small. Are you still working at Hangzhou Zoo?"
"Why? Something wrong with the pandas?"
"Wise indeed! We got the panda's sex wrong. Do you remember Chalk? The one we're about to bring over?"
"Are you kidding me?"
"I wish! I'll need you to help with this."
"Are there no other pandas to replace it?"
"You should know that there aren't many who were born in the same month. It's extremely difficult to replace him with one that's more than half a year apart and I can't fake this matter away. Can you see if it's possible to report it to the higher-ups and settle it within our own department?"
"What are you proposing?"
"We'll send Chalk over, and when it's time to breed, you'll just say that it's a fail. We'll wait a few more years and see if we can switch another panda over. How about that?"
"Surely you know that my position is largely dependent on the success of the breeding? How are you going to compensate that?"
"Pandas have difficulty bearing children, to begin with, so I'm sure your future shouldn't be held up by these few pandas. How about I give you some publicity during the election, and pay for the expenses of bringing up that panda?"
"I can keep quiet about this, but you will have to take responsibility if anything goes wrong, alright?"
"For sure. Don't worry, I won't give you any trouble."
He hung up and sighed a breath of relief.
"All settled?"
"I'm surprised that you even dare to ask. It's all settled. Switch them."
"But what about the sexes?"
"Bring the one in Australia back and send Chalk over. Who's going to care about its sex when it's all alone. We're gonna switch them back in a few years' time anyway. I've already smoothed everything out in Hangzhou's side."
"Thank you, Leader."
"Go, go, go. I don't want to see you any longer than I have to. You've given me nothing but trouble all day. Next time, be more careful when you work!"
...
"Fatty," an adult panda called as he snuggled close to Fatty.
The other young pandas, including Chalk, went over as well.
"We've received some information. Your mission is to go to Australia and work with the koalas to get rid of the rats in the disease prevention room. Don't let the humans know that we're sentient beings, you hear me?" the adult panda instructed.
"But Teacher, I've only been learning for half a year, why are you giving me such an important task? I'm going there alone and I'm afraid that I won't be able to perform my duties well," Fatty replied frustratedly as he munched on his shoots.
"I've taught you all that you needed to know. The koalas Australia brought over will return and exchange knowledge, too. It's a double security net so don't worry. You'll just have to act like a panda. Can you do that?"
"I'll try my best," Fatty answered.
"They're coming. Act happier," the adult panda said.
"Alright, Teacher."
Fatty grabbed the shoots with both hands and chewed on them enthusiastically.
"Good, Fatty. I'm proud of you!" the adult panda whispered.
"That's Fatty. To be sent to Australia. Don't get it wrong," Xiaowen instructed, pointing at Chalk.
"Got it," two men answered before bringing Chalk into a special container.
Fatty looked on in shock. "You got the wrong panda!"
But no matter how loud Fatty shouted, the humans weren't able to hear it.
The adult panda was taken aback as well. He mumbled, "Humans are dumb creatures. This is bad. We must report this quick."
There was only helplessness on Chalk's face as he was taken away.
