Ch. 13.4
Outside the window was a tree. A wind had risen, stirring the branches such that they tapped lightly against the window. Qin Sang had been asleep but fuzzily heard this tapping sound and woke up. Back when she had been living in the school dormitory, if she had a date with Li Wangping, he used to throw pebbles at her room window. That light rattling sound sounded like the rustling of the branches now, familiar and intimate. As soon as she thought of Li Wangping, she woke up completely. After lying awake for some time, during which sleep wouldn’t come, she gave up altogether and sat up.
Zhu Ma had been doing some needlework outside but was on the alert for any signs of movement in the bedroom. The moment she sat up, Zhu Ma put down her sewing and entered the room to ask her, ‘Missy, do you feel like something to eat?’
Qin Sang shook her head but Zhu Ma said smilingly, ‘You’re suffering from morning sickness now so your appetite is probably quite dull. The kitchen just brewed some chicken soup. Shall I get them to make you some noodles with that soup?’
Qin Sang asked: ‘Where is he?’
Zhu Ma knew that she meant Yi Liankai so she replied, ‘He said he had official business but won’t be out too long. Missy, actually I can tell Master does love you dearly. When Commander Yao’s daughter brought you back here and said you had fainted dead away in the restaurant, Master was really shocked — I saw him turn pale. He just stood at the doorway and shouted for the physicians to be sent for and refused to leave your side for even a moment until the physicians came.’
Qin Sang was already in a bad mood and such long-winded¹ chatter only served to irritate her further so she asked abruptly, ‘Did he go out alone?’
¹ 絮絮叨叨 xùxudāodāo: 1. long-winded. If you’re not reading this chapter at MerakiTranslations, it has been stolen and reproduced by bootleg websites.
Zhu Ma blinked a little and answered: ‘Of course, he took the guards along…’
‘Adjutant Pan?’ Qin Sang asked with studied casualness. ‘Did he follow him out too?’
Zhu Ma said: ‘Adjutant Pan didn’t go with him.’
Qin Sang nodded slightly and said: ‘Then go and call Adjutant Pan here. I have something to ask him.’
Zhu Ma entreated: ‘Missy, you’re not feeling well now, you should lie down and rest. If there’s anything you want to ask him, I can do it for you.’
Qin Sang had been half-reclining on the pillows but was now pulling a comb through her hair. She replied: ‘It’s all right. I’ll ask him myself.’
Zhu Ma, thinking that she wanted to interrogate Pan Jianchi about Yi Liankai’s whereabouts, felt uneasy². However, she still helped Qin Sang to change her clothes, wash her face and comb her hair before going down to look for Adjutant Pan.
² 犯嘀咕 fàn dígu: have misgivings; have doubts. Please consider reading from MerakiTranslations rather than at bootleg websites.
‘a white plum blossom in a vase’ — Ch. 13.4, © 12
After such a delay, it was already dark when Pan Jianchi came upstairs. It being winter, the days were short so Qin Sang had turned on the light in the room. She was wearing a peacock blue qipao, the top of which was sparsely embroidered with plum blossoms. She was sitting on a sofa, bathed in the soft golden light of a lamp behind her. Under that glow, the blue qipao resembled a porcelain vase and had an almost chilly lustre. Her face, which was exceedingly pale in contrast, put one in mind of a white plum blossom in a vase.
Unconsciously, Pan Jianchi made his steps lighter but still she seemed to have sensed something and lifted her head. As she looked up, the lamplight seemed to trickle down her back like flowing water whilst her ears appeared to turn a faint translucent pink, like the lychee* stone seal on Yi Liankai’s study table. So just for that spellbound instant, he hesitated a fraction and did not immediately greet her.
However, Qin Sang merely said gravely, ‘Zhu Ma’ and gave her a speaking look. Zhu Ma understood that Qin Sang had something to discuss with Adjutant Pan so she picked up her needlework and went outside, shutting the door behind her.
The door was shut with a very soft click but it seemed to give Pan Jianchi a jolt for he bowed slightly and said almost inaudibly, ‘Madam.’
Qin Sang, hearing him address her thus, was also slightly taken aback but she recovered immediately, pointed to a sofa beside hers and said, ‘Have a seat.’
However, Pan Jianchi did not move at all as he replied, ‘Please say whatever is on your mind, Madam.’
Qin Sang stated: ‘I’m not interested in what you’re planning to do. I won’t ask what motives you have working for Yi Liankai or what you hope to achieve by making use of him. But Miss Yao is just a young girl. Don’t you think what you’re doing to her is too despicable?’
Pan Jianchi was silent for a long time, gazing at the window. Beyond it, the dusk• was a vast expanse of black where nothing could be seen. The glass window reflected a figure in the room who stood unmoving for a long time. It turned out to be himself. He listened to the tree branches swaying in the wind as they tapped lightly against the window, a soft rustling sound as though it were snowing ice pellets.
After a long time, he finally asked: ‘Xiaosang, do you still remember why we took to the streets in protest back then?’
Of course she did.
It had been because the Cabinet had agreed to the terms laid out by Russia and was about to cede Chuanli Peninsula° to the latter. How impassioned they had been, she thought, not like the present where they seem to have become dullards. Filled with fervour back then, believing that women were in no way inferior to men and could respond as swiftly to the call, she had lost no time in joining street demonstrations to protest the forfeiture of national sovereignty by the Cabinet and the humiliation of a nation.³
³ 喪權辱國 sàngquán-rǔguó: to forfeit sovereignty and humiliate the country (idiom). Translation originally published at tranzgeek(DOT)wordpress(DOT)com.
Thousands of students had stayed up overnight, rushing out countless slogans, turning their bedsheets into banners on which they had written ‘Return Chuanli Peninsula’. In the streets and alleys, so many leaflets had been given out that it seemed to have been snowing. Like the tide, they had rushed the police and barged into the house of the Minister for Foreign Affairs to remonstrate with him…
It had only been a few years ago, but now it seemed like another lifetime altogether.
‘Do you still remember what I said to you back then? All warlords are corrupt, they carve the country up for their own ends while the Cabinet is just a puppet — outwardly strong but inwardly weak.⁴ When these warlords fight among themselves5, without exception, they’re all brave and good at fighting6 but when facing the Great Powers, each and every one of them becomes weak and easy to bully.7
⁴ 外強中干 wàiqiáng-zhōnggān: outwardly strong but inwardly weak; strong in appearance but weak in reality. Please consider reading from MerakiTranslations rather than at bootleg websites.
Murong Chen and his son meekly handed all of Hengchuan°° and a huge chunk of northern territory on a silver platter8 to the Russians: that was more than a hundred thousand mu9 of woods, of mineral resources, of land… Li Zhongnian works hand in glove with the Japanese by leasing the naval port to them, remarkably akin10 to inviting the enemy in11; while in the northwest, that Jiang Shuangxi has murky connections with the British… These warlords do everything only for their own benefit, plotting to snatch more provisions, more territory, more political capital. Not a single one of them really cares about the people or the country — every last one of them is a running dog of the foreign powers. If we want there to be peace throughout the land, if we want the people to lead good lives, we must first exterminate these warlords.’
9 畝 mǔ: a traditional unit of area equal to one fifteenth of a hectare. If you’re not reading this chapter at MerakiTranslations, it has been stolen and reproduced by bootleg websites.
Qin Sang stared at him dazedly.
His voice was extremely soft: if she so much as moved, she would not be able to hear what he was saying. Every word had been enunciated, very softly, but very precisely. He was not so much speaking as declaring: ‘I know you think I’m a scoundrel, but I’m not doing this for myself. Do you know how my parents, my older brother, my younger sister… how they all died? They were all killed at Xuzhuang — how many were killed in that last civil war between Li Zhongnian and Jiang Shuangxi? How many families were torn apart? How many people lost their families12 like I did? You think I don’t want revenge? You think I don’t want to live my days peacefully? But the country is ruined and the people are starving13: when the nest is upset, how can any eggs be left intact?14 This country is on the verge of collapse15 — what home then is there to speak of? My family died at the hands of the warlords, tens of thousands more families have been ruined by these men. Compared to all they’ve done, how can my making use of an innocent girl’s feelings be considered despicable?’
14 Variant of 覆巢之下無完卵 fùcháozhīxiàwúwánluǎn: 1. lit. when the nest is upset no egg is left intact (idiom) 2. fig. when one falls in disgrace the whole family is doomed
Qin Sang’s eyes widened as she gazed at him, her expression a complicated commingling of compassion and sadness.
‘How can I be happy when you’re married to Yi Liankai? When you wrote to me back then, asking me to go abroad together, I felt like I had been stabbed in the heart by your letter. I knew I had no way of taking you away, I knew if I didn’t take you away, you would end up in living hell16, but what recourse did I have…’ His eyes had turned faintly misty. ‘I’m by your side every day, what do you think that feels like? I see you with him… He treats you so badly, what you’re going through… I know everything but I can only look on helplessly and it hurts…’
16 *火坑 huǒkēng: 1. pit of fire 2. fig. living hell. Translation originally published at tranzgeek(DOT)wordpress(DOT)com.
12’s notes:
* A mineral rock so named because the whiteness looks like the flesh of the lychee.
• 夜色 yèsè: dusk. The original title of this book was《夜色》so I think its being mentioned here has some significance.
° A fictitious place name that I’m cautiously certain corresponds to Shandong Peninsula. Probably she was referencing this incident: https://www.britannica.com/event/May-Fourth-Movement where there really was a case of the students setting fire to an official’s house.
5 自相殘殺 zì xiāng cánshā: (of persons within a group, party, etc.) kill each other; cause one another’s death
6 Direct translation of 驍勇善戰 xiāoyǒngshànzhàn: to be brave and good at fighting (idiom)
7 Direct translation of 軟弱可欺 ruǎnruò kě qī: be weak and easy to bully
°° Another fictitious place name that I’m also cautiously certain corresponds to the Liaodong Peninsula.
8 Direct translation of 拱手讓人 gǒngshǒu ràng rén: surrender sth. submissively; hand sth. over on a silver platter
10 活脫脫 huótuōtuō: remarkably alike
11 引狼入室 yǐn láng rù shì: invite a wolf into the house -open the door to an enemy
12 家破人亡 jiāpò-rénwáng: family bankrupt and the people dead (idiom); ruined and orphaned
13 國破家亡 guópò-jiāwáng: the country ruined and the people starving (idiom)
15 搖搖欲墜 yáoyáoyùzhuì: 1. tottering 2. on the verge of collapse
Ch. 13.4
Outside the window was a tree. A wind had risen, stirring the branches such that they tapped lightly against the window. Qin Sang had been asleep but fuzzily heard this tapping sound and woke up. Back when she had been living in the school dormitory, if she had a date with Li Wangping, he used to throw pebbles at her room window. That light rattling sound sounded like the rustling of the branches now, familiar and intimate. As soon as she thought of Li Wangping, she woke up completely. After lying awake for some time, during which sleep wouldn’t come, she gave up altogether and sat up.
Zhu Ma had been doing some needlework outside but was on the alert for any signs of movement in the bedroom. The moment she sat up, Zhu Ma put down her sewing and entered the room to ask her, ‘Missy, do you feel like something to eat?’
Qin Sang shook her head but Zhu Ma said smilingly, ‘You’re suffering from morning sickness now so your appetite is probably quite dull. The kitchen just brewed some chicken soup. Shall I get them to make you some noodles with that soup?’
Qin Sang asked: ‘Where is he?’
Zhu Ma knew that she meant Yi Liankai so she replied, ‘He said he had official business but won’t be out too long. Missy, actually I can tell Master does love you dearly. When Commander Yao’s daughter brought you back here and said you had fainted dead away in the restaurant, Master was really shocked — I saw him turn pale. He just stood at the doorway and shouted for the physicians to be sent for and refused to leave your side for even a moment until the physicians came.’
Qin Sang was already in a bad mood and such long-winded¹ chatter only served to irritate her further so she asked abruptly, ‘Did he go out alone?’
¹ 絮絮叨叨 xùxudāodāo: 1. long-winded. If you’re not reading this chapter at MerakiTranslations, it has been stolen and reproduced by bootleg websites.
Zhu Ma blinked a little and answered: ‘Of course, he took the guards along…’
‘Adjutant Pan?’ Qin Sang asked with studied casualness. ‘Did he follow him out too?’
Zhu Ma said: ‘Adjutant Pan didn’t go with him.’
Qin Sang nodded slightly and said: ‘Then go and call Adjutant Pan here. I have something to ask him.’
Zhu Ma entreated: ‘Missy, you’re not feeling well now, you should lie down and rest. If there’s anything you want to ask him, I can do it for you.’
Qin Sang had been half-reclining on the pillows but was now pulling a comb through her hair. She replied: ‘It’s all right. I’ll ask him myself.’
Zhu Ma, thinking that she wanted to interrogate Pan Jianchi about Yi Liankai’s whereabouts, felt uneasy². However, she still helped Qin Sang to change her clothes, wash her face and comb her hair before going down to look for Adjutant Pan.
² 犯嘀咕 fàn dígu: have misgivings; have doubts. Please consider reading from MerakiTranslations rather than at bootleg websites.
‘a white plum blossom in a vase’ — Ch. 13.4, © 12
After such a delay, it was already dark when Pan Jianchi came upstairs. It being winter, the days were short so Qin Sang had turned on the light in the room. She was wearing a peacock blue qipao, the top of which was sparsely embroidered with plum blossoms. She was sitting on a sofa, bathed in the soft golden light of a lamp behind her. Under that glow, the blue qipao resembled a porcelain vase and had an almost chilly lustre. Her face, which was exceedingly pale in contrast, put one in mind of a white plum blossom in a vase.
Unconsciously, Pan Jianchi made his steps lighter but still she seemed to have sensed something and lifted her head. As she looked up, the lamplight seemed to trickle down her back like flowing water whilst her ears appeared to turn a faint translucent pink, like the lychee* stone seal on Yi Liankai’s study table. So just for that spellbound instant, he hesitated a fraction and did not immediately greet her.
However, Qin Sang merely said gravely, ‘Zhu Ma’ and gave her a speaking look. Zhu Ma understood that Qin Sang had something to discuss with Adjutant Pan so she picked up her needlework and went outside, shutting the door behind her.
The door was shut with a very soft click but it seemed to give Pan Jianchi a jolt for he bowed slightly and said almost inaudibly, ‘Madam.’
Qin Sang, hearing him address her thus, was also slightly taken aback but she recovered immediately, pointed to a sofa beside hers and said, ‘Have a seat.’
However, Pan Jianchi did not move at all as he replied, ‘Please say whatever is on your mind, Madam.’
Qin Sang stated: ‘I’m not interested in what you’re planning to do. I won’t ask what motives you have working for Yi Liankai or what you hope to achieve by making use of him. But Miss Yao is just a young girl. Don’t you think what you’re doing to her is too despicable?’
Pan Jianchi was silent for a long time, gazing at the window. Beyond it, the dusk• was a vast expanse of black where nothing could be seen. The glass window reflected a figure in the room who stood unmoving for a long time. It turned out to be himself. He listened to the tree branches swaying in the wind as they tapped lightly against the window, a soft rustling sound as though it were snowing ice pellets.
After a long time, he finally asked: ‘Xiaosang, do you still remember why we took to the streets in protest back then?’
Of course she did.
It had been because the Cabinet had agreed to the terms laid out by Russia and was about to cede Chuanli Peninsula° to the latter. How impassioned they had been, she thought, not like the present where they seem to have become dullards. Filled with fervour back then, believing that women were in no way inferior to men and could respond as swiftly to the call, she had lost no time in joining street demonstrations to protest the forfeiture of national sovereignty by the Cabinet and the humiliation of a nation.³
³ 喪權辱國 sàngquán-rǔguó: to forfeit sovereignty and humiliate the country (idiom). Translation originally published at tranzgeek(DOT)wordpress(DOT)com.
Thousands of students had stayed up overnight, rushing out countless slogans, turning their bedsheets into banners on which they had written ‘Return Chuanli Peninsula’. In the streets and alleys, so many leaflets had been given out that it seemed to have been snowing. Like the tide, they had rushed the police and barged into the house of the Minister for Foreign Affairs to remonstrate with him…
It had only been a few years ago, but now it seemed like another lifetime altogether.
‘Do you still remember what I said to you back then? All warlords are corrupt, they carve the country up for their own ends while the Cabinet is just a puppet — outwardly strong but inwardly weak.⁴ When these warlords fight among themselves5, without exception, they’re all brave and good at fighting6 but when facing the Great Powers, each and every one of them becomes weak and easy to bully.7
⁴ 外強中干 wàiqiáng-zhōnggān: outwardly strong but inwardly weak; strong in appearance but weak in reality. Please consider reading from MerakiTranslations rather than at bootleg websites.
Murong Chen and his son meekly handed all of Hengchuan°° and a huge chunk of northern territory on a silver platter8 to the Russians: that was more than a hundred thousand mu9 of woods, of mineral resources, of land… Li Zhongnian works hand in glove with the Japanese by leasing the naval port to them, remarkably akin10 to inviting the enemy in11; while in the northwest, that Jiang Shuangxi has murky connections with the British… These warlords do everything only for their own benefit, plotting to snatch more provisions, more territory, more political capital. Not a single one of them really cares about the people or the country — every last one of them is a running dog of the foreign powers. If we want there to be peace throughout the land, if we want the people to lead good lives, we must first exterminate these warlords.’
9 畝 mǔ: a traditional unit of area equal to one fifteenth of a hectare. If you’re not reading this chapter at MerakiTranslations, it has been stolen and reproduced by bootleg websites.
Qin Sang stared at him dazedly.
His voice was extremely soft: if she so much as moved, she would not be able to hear what he was saying. Every word had been enunciated, very softly, but very precisely. He was not so much speaking as declaring: ‘I know you think I’m a scoundrel, but I’m not doing this for myself. Do you know how my parents, my older brother, my younger sister… how they all died? They were all killed at Xuzhuang — how many were killed in that last civil war between Li Zhongnian and Jiang Shuangxi? How many families were torn apart? How many people lost their families12 like I did? You think I don’t want revenge? You think I don’t want to live my days peacefully? But the country is ruined and the people are starving13: when the nest is upset, how can any eggs be left intact?14 This country is on the verge of collapse15 — what home then is there to speak of? My family died at the hands of the warlords, tens of thousands more families have been ruined by these men. Compared to all they’ve done, how can my making use of an innocent girl’s feelings be considered despicable?’
14 Variant of 覆巢之下無完卵 fùcháozhīxiàwúwánluǎn: 1. lit. when the nest is upset no egg is left intact (idiom) 2. fig. when one falls in disgrace the whole family is doomed
Qin Sang’s eyes widened as she gazed at him, her expression a complicated commingling of compassion and sadness.
‘How can I be happy when you’re married to Yi Liankai? When you wrote to me back then, asking me to go abroad together, I felt like I had been stabbed in the heart by your letter. I knew I had no way of taking you away, I knew if I didn’t take you away, you would end up in living hell16, but what recourse did I have…’ His eyes had turned faintly misty. ‘I’m by your side every day, what do you think that feels like? I see you with him… He treats you so badly, what you’re going through… I know everything but I can only look on helplessly and it hurts…’
16 *火坑 huǒkēng: 1. pit of fire 2. fig. living hell. Translation originally published at tranzgeek(DOT)wordpress(DOT)com.
12’s notes:
* A mineral rock so named because the whiteness looks like the flesh of the lychee.
• 夜色 yèsè: dusk. The original title of this book was《夜色》so I think its being mentioned here has some significance.
° A fictitious place name that I’m cautiously certain corresponds to Shandong Peninsula. Probably she was referencing this incident: https://www.britannica.com/event/May-Fourth-Movement where there really was a case of the students setting fire to an official’s house.
5 自相殘殺 zì xiāng cánshā: (of persons within a group, party, etc.) kill each other; cause one another’s death
6 Direct translation of 驍勇善戰 xiāoyǒngshànzhàn: to be brave and good at fighting (idiom)
7 Direct translation of 軟弱可欺 ruǎnruò kě qī: be weak and easy to bully
°° Another fictitious place name that I’m also cautiously certain corresponds to the Liaodong Peninsula.
8 Direct translation of 拱手讓人 gǒngshǒu ràng rén: surrender sth. submissively; hand sth. over on a silver platter
10 活脫脫 huótuōtuō: remarkably alike
11 引狼入室 yǐn láng rù shì: invite a wolf into the house -open the door to an enemy
12 家破人亡 jiāpò-rénwáng: family bankrupt and the people dead (idiom); ruined and orphaned
13 國破家亡 guópò-jiāwáng: the country ruined and the people starving (idiom)
15 搖搖欲墜 yáoyáoyùzhuì: 1. tottering 2. on the verge of collapse
